Do you ever think
maybe you're just going mad?
And that you've got everything wrong.
And as for your actual feelings,
I'm just going to have to guess.
Well, don't guess too hard,
'cause you might just get them right.
Are we sorted?
-Will you marry me?
-What?
I volunteered.
To help out at primary school.
You're the only person I've told.
-Why don't you stay?
-Well, it'll be hard to move
now that I've made myself comfy
in this slough of despond.
-We never talk about it.
-I don't want to talk it.
I wanted to bury it.
And bury us along with it.
[SIGHS]
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
-Could I have a light, mate?
-No.
♪ I swear right now,
it feels like underground ♪
[VAN DOOR OPENS]
Morning.
[GRUNTS]
Mine's a full English
since you're asking.
It's all right then, innit? You found
yourself a perfect little escape hatch.
'Cause let me tell you, son,
there's nothing but grief out there
and it's follow-up grief, too.
You've got everything
you need right here.
And I won't tell anybody if you don't.
[VAN DOOR SLIDES OPEN]
[GRAVEL CRUNCHING]
What was Grandad doing here?
What was Grandad doing here?
You got to move it to prove it.
Move it to prove it.
Come on.
[PANTING]
[PANTS HEAVILY]
[SIGHS HEAVILY]
[DOOR CLOSES]
[MAURICE GRUNTING]
[TROUBLED SNORING]
I like running at night.
That's all there is to it.
Is there a law against it?
-Depends which shorts you're wearing.
-ALISON: Dad.
The reason you're running at night
is because you're holed up in here
during the day.
You're hiding.
We know who you're hiding from.
Oh, do we?
I'm saying Louise in the dining room
with the lead pipe.
We know you asked her to marry you
and we know she said no.
-How do you know?
-Ralph told, Daddy.
-Does everyone know?
-Um, no...
-I don't think the Polish lads know.
-They do, actually.
Well, then, it's just us
and Ralph and the Polish lads.
And we told Rebecca
'cause she was worried about you.
And I asked Nicola for advice.
Okay, so just us, Ralph, Rebecca, Nicola
and the Polish lads.
Is it any wonder I'm hiding?
Ah! So, you are hiding.
Look, Dad, I know it feels like
the hardest thing is to go around
to talk to but sometimes
the hardest thing is the right thing.
Isn't that what Tony Blair
said just before we invaded Iraq?
Just sort it out.
It was your idea for me to go
round there in the first place.
And my last word were,
"Don't do anything rash."
This time, go and see her,
clear this up,
and if you feel some
proposal coming on,
just splash your face
with cold water, all right?
Right.
Go and get dressed then,
I'll take you around now.
-Now?
-Yes, now.
[CHILDREN CHATTERING]
REBECCA: Okay, we'll put Ramesh on after
Lois' part now we have...
Maisy, you have settled on China
in your hand now have you?
'cause it's too late
to change your mind now.
I'm trying to concentrate but the girls
keep doing cartwheels at me.
Girls, girls, that corner
is quiet space,
dance moves in that corner.
Yes, Ella?
Lois said that I can't wear
the blue t-shirt.
but my mum said blue
brings out my eyes.
They're looking at your t-shirt,
you've lost the audience
anyways, sweetheart.
I'll have a word with Lois and see
what I can do but if you can't sort
it out then you'll both be doing it
in your P.E. kits.
Thought a bit of food
might help things along.
-Where do you want it?
-Right in here, Dad.
REBECCA: We'll be doing
a complete run-through in one minute.
All right, Millcross Primary School,
fame costs and right here
is where you start paying.
Sure you've done enough?
I thought we were just doing crisps
and nuts and drinks.
Drinks, I'm going to have to go back.
It looks great in there, though.
-Hasn't she done well.
-Brilliantly, yeah.
So you see? I can live a fulfilling life
and still live here.
I could set up a stage school.
Oh, come on, guys.
I was joking.
Do you really think
I was being serious?
Came home in a camper van the other day.
This is wonderful, though.
-You've always been good with kids.
-Thank you.
I'm just saying it might be
something you want to think about.
-Like, teacher training?
-Yeah, if you like.
We could do it together, maybe.
-What?
-Except your way had me on that one.
Volunteering in a school the next year.
Going on training courses.
Stuart told me all about it.
I just mentioned it to Stuart
when he was around the other day.
Sounds great, Mum, and good for you.
But, it isn't what I want to do.
Thank you.
Any other plans
you want to share with me?
Or should I just give
Stuart a ring?
I'll ask him.
It's all right.
[SIGHS]
All I mentioned was
that I've been thinking about it.
And that I volunteered next term
at school.
Two afternoons a week.
It's not a big deal.
If it's not a big deal,
then why tell your ex?
-And not me?
-Let me see now.
Could it be because you're so stuck
in your own head that
you're not listening to anyone else.
Are you pissed off with me because
I've made some plans and not told you?
Or because you don't think
I should be making any plans at all?
I don't know, maybe Stuart knows.
Well, for what it's worth, Stuart thinks
I should just be popping out
another baby and then I'd have
something to do.
You can put your mind
to rest on that score.
That's the last thing I want for us.
When did you change your mind?
You don't want another child, Alison.
And I don't want another child.
So, what does it matter
when I change my mind.
Is it that you don't want another child
or just don't want another child
with me?
See, now you're putting words
in my mouth.
Yes... Somebody has to. You're not
telling me anything.
[MUSIC PLAYING OVER HEADPHONES]
[INAUDIBLE]
How much trouble are we in here, Paul?
'Cause the other day you told me
you hated Joe's autism and now this.
So...
Let's not blame Joe for the fact
that we don't want another kid.
All right, okay.
-Who should we blame?
-It's us, Alison, blame us.
Got to move it to prove it.
Move it to prove it.
I'm not going to run out of petrol
to drive you up to the front door.
How'd it look if she saw you
dropping me off?
-Like I was dropping you off.
-No, like I'd brought...
Backup, like it was a big deal.
If I walk up, it can look like I just
happened to be passing
and casually dropped by.
Whatever you say, Dad.
I'm coming with you.
[MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO]
[SIGHS]
Do you remember when we used to play
cards with your mum and dad?
Yeah.
What was it called, that game,
it was like...
Bridge but working class.
-Solo.
-Solo.
[ALISON CHUCKLES]
Yeah, that was it.
Your mum'd always have a glass of wine.
-Just the one.
-Mmm.
And If I ever poured her another glass,
you'd go, "Oh, no."
Yeah.
I remember one night...
I must have drunk that rest of the box
because I was well gone, but I said...
I said, you've got great self-control.
And you know what she said?
She said...
If I get drunk, Paul,
then the truth might come pouring out.
And once it starts,
it might never stop.
Well, it's just a mum thing.
Every mum
-feels like that from time to time.
-That's how I feel.
I feel
like I've opened the door on us and...
And all the bad stuff...
It's pouring out.
And I can't make it stop.
There, that's why I don't want
to talk about it.
-Bad stuff like what?
-Let's just get the drinks.
Let's get the day done
and get back to the school.
No, no, no, come on.
At least I tell you my feelings.
Why don't you try
and tell me yours.
I just want to run away.
-From what?
-From this, all this, everything.
Let's just get the drinks.
[DOOR OPENS]
Don't you think I want to run away?
Don't you think I get scared
of all this stuff.
Fine, don't let me have any feelings
of my own.
Yours are much more important.
I'm not saying that.
I had a child when I was 18.
I've been frightened every day since.
Then you came along and you made
everything less terrifying.
Until now.
Now you're scaring me because
the man I knew, the m...
The man I know,
it's like he's disappearing
in front of my eyes.
It's because we live separately, Alison,
we're living separate lives.
Because of Joe, but we agreed on that.
But it's more than just being
in different cities.
And, and being apart, it's confirmed
something I think deep down,
-that we both already knew.
-No, don't say this, Paul.
Don't.
Look, it doesn't take two of us
to do this.
Where're you going?
-We're separate, Alison.
-No.
We are.
I think we just need
to be honest about it now.
[MOBILE RINGING]
Hello?
What?
Right. Fourth Emergency Service
at your disposal. What's the problem?
Can we leave off the hide and seek now?
I'm running out of energy.
I think the words you're looking for
are,"I've been expecting you, Mr Bond.'
LOUISE: Maurice, we both know that
deep down you didn't really want
to marry me, did you?
MAURICE: Hang on a sec...
LOUISE: No, you just panicked
At the thought I was going to chuck you
and you proposed.
I've known a lot of men respond to panic
by proposing. It never ends well.
-How many men, exactly?
-It's not important.
Next time, why not just ask me
how I am feeling
or tell me how you are feeling
or tell me you're worried,
just don't ask me to marry you.
You could've at least pretended
to be flattered.
Why? I knew it wasn't coming
from the right place.
It should be fair to say
that short of kidnapping Ralph,
proposing was just about
the worst thing you could've done.
Right, right.
So, its not a "no" then?
I don't want to marry you, Maurice.
But I would, to coin a phrase,
"like to knock about" with you.
Clean slate. Day 1.
How about it?
Good, great. Day 1.
Good.
Great.
BILL: ♪ Is it underneath
♪ The willow tree
♪ That I've been dreaming of ♪
Just a touch more expression,
Bill, I think.
REBECCA: There you go, Ramesh,
perfect fit.
It is a realistic hat.
But I'd rather not
dress up as a magician.
I've a Lam suit at home.
-I'll get it this afternoon.
-A Lam suit, okay.
Joe, how about you?
I'm going to dress up as Joe.
Of course you are.
Urm, where's Dad?
Is he okay, he seemed a bit...
Oh, don't worry about Daddy, he's just
got one of those faces.
It's just a poor side of the family.
I didn't drop him in it before.
Planning about
the volunteering stuff to Dad?
-I thought he'd know.
-Of course he didn't, love.
Mum?
It's just, sorry, it's just this it's...
Sorry, he's great.
Getting this off the ground
and including Joe in it all.
RAMESH: Is it good
being back to your old school, Joe?
JOE: Let me see now...
You used to say that all the time.
And I remember it means you aren't
going to answer the question.
BILL: Don't they have glutton free
at your new school?
I expect so because some people think
losing is bad for autism.
And, are all the children like you, Joe?
At your new school,
are they all austistic?
What will you do after, Joe?
What will you do after?
Because after Millcross,
I'm going to go to big school.
I'll do GCSEs,
then Science A Levels,
then medicine, at university.
What will you do after, you know,
when you grow up?
You've got to move it to prove it.
Move it to prove it.
I don't mean after, I mean,
much, much longer after.
SARAH: There you are?
Come on, Bill.
The damp will play havoc
with your sinuses.
Come on, careful.
JOE: In the plane, on the train,
take a trip on a ship.
[KNOCK AT DOOR]
This "Day 1" thing. What did you
have in mind...
Exactly?
All I meant was,
two people who like each other,
going out
and getting to know
each other a bit better.
Maybe exchanging the odd anecdote.
-Got plenty of those.
-Or maybe not.
Just... Clean slate.
No history, no baggage.
Seeing if...
You know, having a bit of fun
in a low key way.
Well, that's a coincidence.
Joe's got a show later at school.
All the things you like,
kids, music,
a raffle and that.
-Sounds perfect.
-5:00 p.m. start.
Tell Ralph to come. He can ask Vanessa
and then we won't even be a...
Two. Yes, I get it.
You're overthinking it again.
See you later?
I'll be there.
Is it evening dress or smart casual?
Smart, casual, I think.
I'll check.
I was joking, Maurice,
[DOOR CLOSES]
Separate lives.
Did you actually mean it?
I know, I surprised myself
when I said it.
Well, maybe, I did mean it.
Maybe I did.
What is it with you
and saying stuff out loud.
[DOOR CLOSES]
We just lost who we were
somewhere along the way
and I can't find the way back.
No matter how hard I try.
Is it really that bad?
I knew you've been having trouble but...
How did you know that you and Nicola
weren't going to make it?
-Which time?
-The first time you knew it was broken.
Well, probably when Nicola told me
she'd been having sex with another man,
that was quite a hint.
Any other pearls of wisdom
going to come along anytime soon
-or is that all you've got?
-All I've got is this, Paul.
I can't imagine a world where you
and Alison would ever not be together.
I can't imagine a world where
you'd be happier without each other.
[EMILY BABBLING]
I need you to come with me right now.
I don't think I'll going anywhere
with you in that shirt.
And I've got Emily.
You'd be all right with her,
won't you, Paul?
We'll give Nicola a ring on the way
and tell her to pick her up.
On the way where?
You know you told me to take it easy
and not do anything too hasty?
-Yes.
-Well, I haven't.
-Good.
-Not with Louise, anyway.
But there've been other changes
and they're hasty.
Is it about the shirt?
I realised it was an impulse buy,
but I'm sure we'll get used to it
in the end.
I'm retiring.
I'm putting the house on the market
and I'm giving you the brewery.
All of it. Day 1. Clean slate.
I'll even put it in writing this time.
-Without asking me?
-I'm asking you now.
-No, you're not.
-It's only going to be a problem
if you say no. Are you going
to make it a problem?
Why would you retire?
You've got the body of a 20-year-old
and the mind of a 10-year-old,
-you're indestructible.
-Between you and me,
I don't always feel like that.
And even I did believe you,
Why'd I come back here?
To the place I failed. What kind of fool
would do that?
-Perhaps I'm looking at him.
-And I don't believe you'd stay away.
I can't boil an egg in your kitchen
without you timing it
on your sports watch.
You're the only man I know who can pick
an argument with an egg timer.
And I've got a life in Manchester, Dad.
My flat, my job,
my research, my students,
40-inch TV, phone signal.
Have you any idea how insulting
it is to even ask me?
-Are you interested?
-Of course I'm f*cking interested!
PAUL: He'd even forgotten his balaclava.
He was indeed a very forgetful worm.
-The end.
-Not lost it then.
[SNORING]
Did Eddie send you?
Nobody sent me.
Nicola told me you were here
and I came on my own accord.
Bring it all back, did it?
Did indeed.
Me being scared shitless, mainly.
You looked like you were enjoying it.
What do you see when you look at her?
Possibilities. Endless.
The world is hers if she wants it.
I's hardly going to be plain sailing
with Eddie and Nicola as parents.
When you look at Joe,
do you think the same because I don't.
I just see the difficulties
he's gonna face.
-Then maybe even overcome.
-See, it's that.
That is the... It's the relentless
optimism that I can't do,
I can't do it because it's a lie.
No, no it's not. It's just harder.
-Then we have to try harder.
-I've been trying harder.
Okay.
I've been trying harder and...
I'm failing...
With Joe and us and,
I can't find a way to make it better.
You were never going to blame Joe.
You're feeling bad about yourself.
So, you blame me, I get it.
I think I finally understand
the Sophie thing.
Oh, God, the Sophie thing.
I think it was a partly...
You turning away from me.
I see that now.
We said we were going to put
our son first and we didn't.
And now we're here.
[SNIFFLING]
I think it doesn't feel right.
If you're going to run away from this,
if you feel that you can handle things
better with us apart,
then, do it. Do it sooner
rather than later, Paul,
'cause I won't wake up
every morning wondering
if this is the day you are going to go.
I can't... Not...
Strong enough for that.
[DOOR CREAKING OPEN]
TOM: So, Joe.
You stand up, nice and tall and you say,
this is called Move it by Michael Rosen.
Then you take a breath
and then breathe out.
Begin, okay?
When're you going
to get changed, Rebecca?
Or are you hoping to get by on lip gloss
and charisma like me?
Oh, no. I've left my dress behind.
I knew I'd forgotten something.
[DOORS OPEN]
[LOUD KNOCK AT DOOR]
Hey, you all right, Mark?
What're you doing here?
Where's your mum?
She dropped me off.
She's picking me up in a bit.
Because if I want to go college,
I have to be independent.
Oh, I see.
I want to go to college,
I have to be independent.
Yeah, I know.
Got that.
I made Alison a cake.
Yeah, that's fine. That's good.
-She's not here...
-To say thank you
for helping me with my college
application and the council bastards.
[CHUCKLES]
Well, that's lovely. Thank you.
-Would you like a slice?
-Yes. Yes, yes.
So when do you think
you'll hear about college?
In a while.
Or less than a while.
You worried?
Very worried. Yes.
Hey, don't be.
You're a good lad and whatever happens,
you'll be fine.
All right?
Are you worried?
-Why, do I look worried?
-Yes.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
Well, between you and me,
I'm pretty worried.
I've had my cake so I think
I'll leave now.
Your mum isn't here yet.
She told me to wait
at the bottom of the drive.
All right.
See you!
New shirt?
Very adventurous.
So, how's the camper van business
then, eh?
-Don't you start?
-Start what?
Trying to tell me to go to university.
-Chance of a lifetime...
-Whoa, whoa, whoa, you know
how I feel about university, our Eddie
came back dafter than when we went
with a pierced ear and a taste
for Danish pastries.
-Exactly.
-Costs an arm and a leg nowadays anyway.
-That's what I keep saying.
-Yeah.
Well, you keep saying it.
Right.
'Cause you know and I know it's not
about university, is it?
it's about Joe, innit?
If you can wait in here
until the hall's ready for you.
Thank you.
Will the little one be in a pushchair
because you best go on the aisle if so.
Thank you. We'll be sure to do that.
Hello, gorgeous.
Has your Dad brought his best biro,
I've got contracts drawn up.
-Not today, hey, Dad?
-What contracts?
I've given him the brewery.
Lock, stock and several barrels.
Tell him to put us out of our misery
and say yes.
I know you're the brains
of the operation, Nicola.
NICOLA: And you're actually
thinking about it?
I thought you liked
your job in Manchester.
EDDIE: I do. Well, when he offered me
the brewery, I didn't turn him down.
Well, I don't know.
Maybe it tells me something.
And Emily's here...
Do you really think
he'll leave you alone.
He's very controlling.
Yes, that can be a terrible
trainer person.
I think he's changed.
The shirt that he bought.
Casual fit. Borderline paisley.
Oh, so you think that's evidence
he's relaxing.
I'm just saying, give it six months
and he might be in chinos.
[NICOLA SNICKERS]
-Hey.
-Listen up, you two.
I've just been talking to Rebecca.
-Right.
-About her plans and that.
I hope you talked some sense into her.
I don't need to. She's the sanest
member of the family.
You'd do well
to listen to her yourself.
-Get your heads out of your arses!
-Okay, thanks, Dad,
great advice. Can we get on now?
You know she's planning to stay
because of Joe, don't you, eh?
You know she thinks he won't
manage without her.
Are you sure about that?
Is that what she actually said?
Pretty much, yeah. Why don't you
ask her yourself?
I think I've been stood up.
MAURICE: Oh, Vanessa, ha! There you are!
I wondered where you'd got to.
Not late, are we?
No, no. I've just been, you know,
waiting and that.
You should.
Yeah, well, you know,
it's just fifty percent off.
Right.
Still comes under
the "no big deal" clause.
Shall we get to seat, Maurice?
Yeah, great, that's a good idea.
[APPLAUSE]
REBECCA: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls,
to Millcross Primary, End of Year show.
You're in for an evening of surprise...
If you do come back to the brewery,
will you come back to us, too?
...left and at the back of the hall...
You don't have to give me an answer now.
First up, we have
our very own Little Mix.
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
♪ Shout out to my ex,
You're really quite the man
♪ You made my heart break
And that made me who I am
♪ Here's to my ex, hey, look at me now
Well, I'm... ♪
♪ Don't push too far
your dreams are china in your hand
♪ Don't wish too hard because
They may come true...♪
[HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING]
Now, madam,
Show the card to the audience.
Now, put the card back
into the pack.
Thank you.
I want everyone in this room
to think of the card they just saw.
Is this your card, Madam Joe's mum?
-The seven of Hearts?
-Yes. Yes, it was.
-[APPLAUSE]
-RAMESH: Thank you
for being a good sport.
Let's have a big hand
for Mrs Joe's mum.
[LOUD CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
RAMESH: Magic, I wouldn't say.
But, no, observation and logic.
Here's how I did it.
[CRYING]
[RAMESH CONTINUES IN THE BACKGROUND]
[APPLAUSE]
[FOOTSTEPS]
How long have you been crying?
No, no, just...
You've been drinking.
Well, if you haven't been crying...
Do you think Joe's
going to be all right?
Tonight or like ever?
Just tonight, for a start.
Yeah, he knows it off by heart.
He seems to enjoy doing it.
That's fine.
He'll be fine.
And not just tonight.
If that's what you're worried about,
if that's why you feel
you can't leave home.
I'm Joe's sister.
You don't know what that's like.
I'm the only one who knows
what that's like.
-I know.
-No, you don't.
The thing you aren't getting
is that one day...
I'll be the only person Joe
has in the world.
I've known that since he was diagnosed.
I carry it around with me every day.
This show, today,
all this,
I got him in this.
I included him. I get it.
The strange thing is that
you and Dad don't seem to.
No. We do. We know you feel that.
We know that...
We know that you've to deal with that.
But, right now, look.
Right now, he's me and your Dad's
responsibility and we're fine with it.
What if you and Dad aren't fine
with each other?
What, then?
Where does that leave him?
Me and Dad we're okay,
of course we are.
And there's a huge world out there
waiting for you to make your mark.
[SHOW CONTINUING IN THE BACKGROUND]
When I say, "Put the card back."
I already know what the card is.
This is called a sleight
and it is not magic.
There is no magic. Thank you.
TOM: Thank you Ramesh for that
entertaining and educational interlude.
I do the actions, the buttons
don't do anything.
But I need to do
the talking and the walking.
Okay.
There you go, Flo.
Now, that should hold.
And if it doesn't,
you just wag all the other legs
a bit more, all right?
I'm having a nice time.
Are you having a nice time?
You don't have to talk to m
like a phrasebook, Maurice.
And yes, it's lovely.
Each five pounds entitles you to a plate
of food of your choice and a drink.
We have to do it that way 'cause
we don't have an alcohol licence.
A school without an alcohol licence.
Who'd have thought.
[SARAH GIGGLES]
Leave your food.
We need to talk.
Two of my least favourite sentences
in the English language.
NICOLA: Come.
Shall I take the first course sliding
down the bannister
or would you fancy
warming it off for me.
You need to stop offsetting your anxiety
by filling the silences with humour.
Right.
I mean, don't stop altogether.
It's not a deal breaker.
If we get back together,
I can tolerate it.
Well, I'll certainly bear
if we get back together.
Which...
I'm not sure we are.
Are we?
Really, deep down,
it's not a good idea, not,
because of the humours
anyway.
-What do you think?
-Eddie, first, the next five minutes,
I want you to talk like me
and not like you.
-Like you?
-Yeah.
Brutally honest?
Honest, at least.
All right.
All right.
I'll try.
This is...
I'm coming back to the Lakes,
to make a go with the brewery.
Not for you.
At least, not in that sense.
I'll come back as Emily's dad...
And your best friend.
Nothing more.
Ever.
Okay...
[APPLAUSE IN THE AUDITORIUM]
Well...
I've never
had a best friend before, so...
That'll be interesting.
-I'm sorry if you're upset but...
-No, Eddie, its...
It'd be nice to have love
but I prefer clarity.
TOM: It's started.
You're going to miss Joe.
[BILL SINGING WHERE IS LOVE?]
You okay, Joe?
You okay, Joe?
You just go out there,
stand at the front, nice and loud, yeah?
I like music, don't I?
It'll be brilliant. You know it'll be.
♪ Till I am beside
♪ The someone who
♪ I can mean something to
♪ Where?
♪ Where is love? ♪
[CHEERING AND WHOOPING]
Thank you, Bill.
You really made that your own,
we were all tearing up in the audience.
Now, we have a special treat,
ladies and gentlemen,
as a boy who used to come to Millcross
has come back today to perform.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you
Joe Hughes.
[WHOOPING]
This is called Move it by Michael Rosen.
[BREATH ON MIC]
REBECCA: [WHISPERING ] Joe.
No, leave him. He's fine.
[WHISPERING] Joe.
Joe, you got to move it to prove it.
Move it to prove it.
PAUL: Careful.
There.
You OK? OK.
Let's hear it
for the world's ugliest boy band.
Dad.
You gotta move it
to prove it.
Move it
to prove it.
In the plane.
On the train.
Take a trip.
On a ship.
You gotta move it
to prove it.
Move it
to prove it.
Take a hike.
Take a bike.
Use your feet.
On the streets.
You gotta move it
to prove it.
Move it
to prove it.
I'll be there.
Where?
Are be near.
We're here!
REBECCA: Good lad.
Oh, Joe.
ALISON: Dad.
EDDIE: Dad.
ALISON: Dad.
NICOLA: Maurice.
NICOLA: Can you hear me, Maurice?
EDDIE: Dad.
-Dad?
-Dad, come on.
-Maurice, can you hear me?
-Dad, come on.
ALISON: Dad.
PAUL: When something like this happens.
Like...what happened.
-To Grandad.
-PAUL: Yeah, to Grandad.
It's 'cause he wasn't feeling very well.
So, they put him in an ambulance
and he's here.
And the doctors are really trying
very hard to help him and,
and make him feel better.
Grandad.
Yeah. Yeah.
On the floor.
That's it, mate.
So, when people go on the floor
like that,
it means that they're not very well.
And that can be really frightening
for them and,
for the people that see it.
Most times when people
come to the hospital,
they get better.
And sometimes,
when people come to the hospital,
well, they don't get better.
And...
They get very tired.
And...
He's asking for a fish supper.
And sometimes, they ask
for a fish supper.
How about that? [LAUGHS]
ALISON: Is he OK? How is he?
They've done some tests. The consultant
has ruled out a stroke and heart att*ck.
So, what caused it?
We'll just poke him around
till we find out.
Although my own theory his new shirt
was too tight.
Grandad's going to be fine.
That's good news, isn't it?
You don't have to answer that
straight away, Joe.
Come on.
Oh, you've brought the rest
of the Spice Girls with you this time.
Yep.
He was asleep on the pool table
this morning.
-Right.
-Talk about attention seeking.
Joe's finest moment
too much for you, was it?
I'm sorry, Joe. I must've eaten
a dodgy sausage roll.
Yeah, that'll be it.
They weren't sausage rolls.
Sorry, can I rephrase that?
I must've eaten a dodgy artisan
pork roulade.
Have you made up you mind
about the brewery yet?
Oh, that's what this is all about?
Emotional blackmail.
How're you feeling, Grandad?
Oh, at last, someone who sounds
like they care. Thank you.
Never better, love. I must've gotten
overexcited by your brilliant show.
Now, we've done the emotion.
Can you all bugger off?
Can't bear most of you
at the best of times.
Well, just try and get some rest.
You're a good one to talk.
Oh, Dad.
PAUL: Right, see you tomorrow
then, Maurice.
Be good to them nurses.
Come on, Joe.
Did Louise not come down?
She saw you laid out with your mouth
open and just kept walking.
She didn't want to crowd you out.
I'll tell her you made a comeback.
Don't go around there and mess
things up for me again.
Dad. Next time you pass out,
see that bright light ahead of you.
Don't fight it.
Walk towards it.
Yeah. Yeah.
Are they all gone yet?
You fell over.
Was it funny?
-Yes.
-Well, that's all right then.
[CHUCKLES]
[PHONE RINGING AT THE RECEPTION]
Well, if he'd just fainted.
It'll be good to know why.
I saw the bag, Paul.
Went home to get Rebecca's dress,
saw that you'd packed the bag,
I saw the bag.
How're you going to tell him?
He's indestructible.
That's his superpower.
Sorry, should've warned you.
Well, thanks for coming around
to tell me.
It's really kind.
Well, you're the one who's chosen
to take on Maurice.
The bull in your China shop.
Sorry, I did that.
Sounded a bit dodgy.
-Sounded like him, though.
-Did I?
Well, that's a first.
I thought he was dead, you know.
So did I.
'Cause that's the kind of trick
that fate plays.
He's been helping me through my chemo
and he's the one that dies.
Carer fatigue, it happens a lot.
Whatever's going to be a written
on Dad's death certificate
it's not going to be Carer Fatigue.
That's one of the many things
that drives you mad about him.
Underneath that gruff Talus exterior
is a gruff Talus interior
trying to get out and underneath that
is a big soft bastard who wants to fix
everyone and everything.
-Does he know you rumbled him?
-No.
If he ever finds out, I'll never
speak to you again.
The consultant asked
if he was the stressful type.
Well, it's been a couple of hours
and I expect the consultant will know
the answer to that by now.
Rebecca, before you go,
can we have a quick word?
[FOOTSTEPS DESCENDING]
Uh...
You can do anything you like,
and we can't stop you staying here.
But if you're staying here
because of Joe,
or because of me and your mum,
then you can't do that.
We won't let you do that.
You're that keen to get rid of me,
I might get a complex.
Don't get us wrong. Part of me
would love you to stay.
But we've already rented out
your bedroom, so...
Joe, come on.
Where're you going?
I promised.
EDDIE: Colin Crocodile says,
"Night night."
And Teddy Tedted says, [DEEPER]
"Night, night."
And Florence Flamingo says,
"Night, night."
And Auntie Alison and Uncle Paul
say night, night.
Joe says night, night.
And Grandad Maurice says night, night.
He's in a different bed tonight.
And Grandad Livingstone
says night, night.
And he's in bed somewhere.
-We hope...
-NICOLA: Eddie...
[WHISPERING] You can stop now
she's fast asleep.
Okay, right. Good.
She's been asleep for a while,
hasn't she?
Yeah.
About 10 minutes but I didn't
like to interrupt.
Very funny. Hey, you'll never guess
where I'm sitting.
Maurice's big chair.
How did you know?
Fathers and sons.
It's primal.
You're practising for when he really
does die and you can sit in it forever.
Did you just say that?
Of course you did.
You just said that.
Because you would.
-Night, night, Nicola.
-Night, night.
[SIGHS]
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
PAUL: I just worry that,
it'll get worse and worse.
You could just take a leaf
out of Joe's book.
You could just get
everything and everybody
that matters to you
and just keep them inside.
Not worry about what's gone before
or what's going to happen next.
That moment,
him on the stage, saying that,
that...it was a moment.
He's a bundle of anxiety
just like the rest of us,
more than the rest of us.
I'm not saying he isn't.
I'm not saying he isn't.
But he's managed something that
we haven't been able to do.
He shook all the shite away and he left
himself with what really counts.
And that's enough for you?
Is it? That moment.
I don't need anything else.
I'm not going anywhere.
So, Day 1. How's it going so far?
REBECCA: You were great today, Joe.
if I go somewhere,
you know, if I go somewhere else...
Somewhere else, away.
Yes, somewhere else away.
I'll always come back.
I won't go for long.
You'll be in my head all the time.
We can speak every day.
On the computer or on Dad's phone.
But I'll be here.
Well, you might not be.
When you get older,
you might go travelling, too.
When you go...
Yeah.
I'll wait here.
That's right, yeah.
I'll wait here, in here.
Yeah, if that's what you'd like. Yeah.
There's no away.
That's right, Joe.
For you and me, there's no away.
[THE SAME DEEP WATER AS ME
PLAYING IN HEADPHONES]
♪ Swim out to the ocean
♪ Drown your thoughts out at sea
♪ And dip your hands in the water
♪ The same deep water as me
♪ You've been watching for cloudbursts
♪ You've been praying for rain
♪ Drench your soul in the water
♪ Cleanse your heart of the stain
♪ Cleanse your heart of the stain
[JOE SINGS ALONG]
♪ The river of love
♪ Flows deep through the night
♪ Rolls you in with the waves
♪ Drags you out with the tides
♪ Swim out to the ocean
♪ And drown our thoughts out at sea
♪ And dipped your hands in the water
♪ The same deep water as me
♪ The same deep water as me ♪