05x10 - If the Suit Fits

[bunniefuu]

[theme song plays]

[vocalizing]

♪ Whatever happened to predictability? ♪

♪ The milkman, the paper boy
The evening TV ♪

[vocalizing]

♪ Everywhere you look
Everywhere you go ♪

♪ There's a heart
There's a heart ♪

♪ A hand to hold onto ♪

♪ Everywhere you look
Everywhere you go ♪

♪ There's a face
There's a face ♪

-♪ Somebody who needs you ♪
-♪ There's a heart ♪

♪ Everywhere you look, yeah ♪

♪ When you're lost out there
And you're all alone ♪

♪ A light is waiting to carry you home ♪

♪ Everywhere you look ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪

[vocalizing]

Why does it have to end?

People like it so much.

Yeah, it makes everyone
feel so good and cozy.

I'm not ready for it to be done.
I want to binge more.

What are you guys talking about?

[all three] Ice cream.

What else would we be talking about?

Um, I don't know,

maybe that triple wedding
you guys need to plan.

Wait, so that wasn't a dream?

We're all really getting married together?

[Stephanie, DJ] Yup.

And we all did a synchronized
proposal dance in the street?

Sure did.

What about the part where the pony sang
"Hangin' Tough" to me

with the voice of Joey McIntyre?

I don't think that happened,

but I'm really not sure what goes on
upstairs after hours.

Well, enjoy your ice cream.

I'm gonna go binge watch the final season
of my favorite family sitcom.

Oh, well, looks like Ramona's taking
the news of your wedding pretty well.

Oh, you mean the news that her parents,
who were already together,

are getting married a second time?
Yeah, she's a real hero.

How are the boys doing?

Have you talked to them about
Steve moving in after the wedding?

Oh, well, I did a while ago, but...

now that it's becoming real,
I should check in with them again.

The boys love Steve.
He's been in their lives forever.

Well, I know,
but it's one thing dating someone

and a whole other thing marrying them.

Steve moving in will be a big adjustment,

especially for Max.
He does not do well with change.

Yeah, remember when they recast
Jennifer Esposito on Blue Bloods?

He boycotted CBS for a whole year.

Well, I just want everything to go well.

Steve isn't just marrying me.
He's marrying my entire family.

Well, how is Steve handling this?

Oh, you know Steve,
solid as a rock.

I'm a nervous wreck.

I just want the kids to embrace me,
you know.

I'm not just marrying Deej,
I'm marrying her entire family.

Wow, you guys are
freaky made for each other.

Well, so what's with all the gifts?
Trying to buy their affection?

Yeah, I'm not an idiot.

I got Nintendo games for Jackson,

the Sherlock Holmes collection for Max,

and some shiny keys for Tommy.

And if none of that works,
I have some cash and an Arby's gift card.

Well, hey, Steve, aren't you a little
worried that I might not embrace you?

Because I could use
some walking around money.

Yeah, I could really use
that Arby's gift card.

I don't feel like making dinner.

[theme music playing]

[vocalizing]

So, I just want to remind you

that just because Steve's moving in,
nothing is going to change.

Won't he be here every morning
for breakfast?

Okay, that'll change.

Does he also eat sandwiches
for breakfast?

Does anyone have any questions
that don't concern breakfast?

We're fine, Mom. We love Steve.

I love Steve.

I can't believe this.

I was afraid you might be upset, Max.

I am...

at these two nimrods.

I told them if we acted sad,

we could totally get a trip
to Disneyland out of this.

Well, I don't know why I was nervous
to bring this up again.

Now wish me luck. I need to have
the same conversation with Cosmo.

[in sing-song voice]
Hello, everybody.

Not quite the greeting I expected

when I texted everyone
I'd be here in three minutes.

Okay.

I left my kids at home.

-Joey! Hey!
-Hey!

Joey, what brings you by?

I have a surprise.
Didn't anybody read my group text?

Oh.

Sorry about that, I blocked you

when you were
incessantly texting about your keto diet.

Steph, that diet was two years ago.

And you still look fabulous.

So, what's the big surprise
everyone's buzzing about?

-Is it doughnuts?
-[gasps] Is it Cronuts?

Is it a healthy snack alternative?

Wrong, wrong, and who raised you?

Tomorrow, I will be throwing

the three newly engaged couples
an engagement dinner and...

you're all invited.

Aw, Joey!

That is so sweet.

-Yeah, we love that. Thank you.
-[Kimmy] Ooh.

Is it at that Korean barbecue joint?

Because that place hasn't passed
the health inspection in a decade.

Plus, I just ate there last night.

This family has done so much for me.
I want to do something special for you.

And...

I have another surprise.

You're going to stop doing silly accents?

Really? You're going there?

In addition to throwing
an engagement party,

we're also going to be joined
by some very special guests.

Mr. and Mrs...

-Gibbler.
-[gasps]

-Oh, we're invited!
-We're invited!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Your parents.

Mom and Dad are coming?

I haven't seen them in years.

Are they still traveling the world?

Yeah, they travel the world,
looking for lost cities.

Which is weird 'cause they haven't been
able to find San Francisco in two decades.

This is so exciting!

Well, I am not excited.

I recently learned
that they did not care for me.

Who does not care for me? I am Fernando.

I am to be cared for.

Aww, thank you, Joey.

My parents coming means so much to me.

They don't know about my business.
They've never met Ramona. [gasps]

And what's really going to blow
their minds?

They've never seen me
with straightened hair!

Wait, you lived next door to us
your entire childhood

and you never met my parents?

I met Kimmy, I wasn't about to go
searching for what created her.

I can't believe your parents hate me.
I'm like the Raymond, everybody loves me.

I'm sorry I ever told you

that my parents didn't have
the ideal first impression of you.

How dare they assume I would turn out

to be the exact husband
I turned out to be!

Guys, guys, guys.

Everybody's parents
are a little weird.

But if you're nervous, there's a perfectly
logical way to prepare for their arrival.

[gasps]

Are you thinking we do a dry-run dinner,
in which we play-act as our parents?

I was going to say robots,

-but that's probably more in our budget.
-Yeah!

[both whooping]

Oh.

Two Gibblers playing two other Gibblers.

What could go wrong?

[Joey] Deej,

Danny doesn't like it when you poke around
in his room when he's not here.

Joey, this my room.
It has been for five years.

Well, if Danny was just giving out rooms,

why did I always
have to sleep in the alcove? [chuckles]

So, what are you doing?

I'm just making room in my closet.

I don't think I'm going
to wear this anymore.

Whoa, even I think that's outdated,
and I'm Joey.

Oh, wow.

Is that Tommy's?

Yeah, it was his special occasion suit.

I didn't even know I still had this.

You okay?

Yeah, it just caught me off-guard.

Man, he didn't like getting dressed up,
did he?

[sighs] But he sure looked good
when he did.

Hey, Deej, I was gonna
head back to my hotel, but...

I can stick around if you need me to.

No, it's okay.

You sure?

Yeah, thanks.

Tommy always wanted me
to be happy and...

Steve makes me really happy.

Okay.

-Love you. Bye.
-Love you.

Oh, Tommy.

We are here to help
with the Goodwill boxes.

Don't worry, Mom,
we'll lift with our legs.

I know you're making fun of me,

but your back is going to thank me
when you're 50.

Wait, is that Dad's special occasion suit?

Yeah.

Yeah, I found it
in the back of the closet.

And you're just... going to give it away?

-Well, I--
-No, Mom, I get it.

You have to make room for Steve's stuff.

You know, I thought
Max might react badly, but I...

I didn't see it coming from Jackson.

-I should go talk to him.
-You know, maybe...

maybe give him a little time
to process this.

Yeah, maybe you're right.

You know, on second thought,

it's Ginger's birthday in a few weeks
and...

Man.

She's going to love this.

So we're having a rehearsal dinner
for the dinner,

which is not a rehearsal dinner,
with the parents who are not the parents.

This is an odd situation, no?

We're marrying Gibblers.
This is just a Wednesday.

[Kimmy] Yoo-hoo!

It's them. Talk me up.
I want them to like me, okay?

Why, so they can zero in on me?
No, no, no, you're on your own, buddy.

[in exaggerated accent] Oh, hello!

We just flew in from Brazil.

And, boy, are our airplane arms tired.

[Jimmy] Mm-hmm, yes.

I'm kidding, of course.
The pilot's arms are tired.

[both laughing]

Well, I see where Kimmy
gets her good looks.

Oh, yeah.
It's like they could be sisters,

or the exact same person.

[Kimmy] Hmm.

From your snippy one-liners,
you must be that sassy-tongued,

troublemaking neighbor girl, Stephanie.

My Kimmy was never very fond of you.

Oh, it's okay, Mom.

We're friends now.

Oh, Kimmy!

I didn't notice you there.

You've straightened your hair! Oh!

How lovely!

Mommy called me lovely!

Okay, so I was wrong.

This is not a Wednesday, this is weird.

It's true.
They are pretty eccentric.

Stop muttering, boy!

If you have something to say,
come out and say it to all of us.

Yes, Father, if you mutter,
you don't matter.

Bully! Bully for you, Jeffcoat,
chip off the old block.

Well, I'm actually enjoying the show.

They seem to have forgotten
they don't like me.

Hello, Kimmy's philandering
race car driver.

Oh, no, they do remember.

Hey, have you seen my--

[gasps]

Is this my beautiful grandbaby?

Oh!

Come give Nana an Eskimo kiss.

Mmm!

Yeah, whatever this is,
I'm not doing it.

Fifteen months till college,
15 months till college.

Fifteen months?
That is just around the corner.

I'm gonna go help her pack.

How lovely to finally meet

one of the weirdo Tanners.

Uh...

wait, we were the weirdos?

A family with three dads?

Kids driving cars through the kitchen?

Terrorizing our pet ostrich?

Some guy constantly singing
the song "Forever"?

That's pretty weird
from where I was sitting,

which was on the Velcro wall.

So, who's excited to meet Mom and Dad?

I can't believe I'm going to see
my parents.

Although somehow
it feels like I just saw them.

Honestly, I'm not sure what I just saw,

but it's a conversation for me
and my pastor.

That's what I call my bartender.

Wow, you look great.

Thank you.

Hey, where's Jackson?

Oh, I don't think he's coming.

He said he's not feeling well.

I've been trying to talk to him,
but he's been avoiding me since yesterday.

Even tried to put a pancake
in front of his door. He didn't touch it.

Wait, so it's just still there?

Asking for a friend.

Why don't you guys go to the party
without me?

I'm gonna stay and try to talk to Jackson.

Aww.

Thank you, honey.

Maybe you can make some more headway
with him than I did.

Let's go.

You're just hanging back to avoid
seeing the Gibblers, aren't you?

A man can have more than one motivation.

[knocking at door]

Mom, I told you I'm sick. I'm not coming.

Sorry, it's not your mom, it's me.

Can I come in?

[sighs] Sure.

I don't want you to catch what I have.

[exaggerated coughing]

I'll take my chances.

Look, Jackson, I know that things have
got to be a little...

strange lately, with your mom
getting married again.

I just want you to know that...

I love your mom
and I love you boys, and, uh...

I just hope that maybe someday you can,
you know, accept me into your family.

I really like you, Steve. I do.

It's just seeing that suit, you know.

It's the suit my dad wore
to my fifth-grade graduation.

Just made me realize
that he's not coming back.

Look, Jackson,
I'm not here to replace your dad, okay?

Your dad was a great guy who raised
really great kids.

I'm just here to be Steve...

a guy who loves your family.

If you're feeling any better,

there's a lot of people who would love
to see you at that party.

And...

I got you something...

just in case you change your mind.

Thanks, Steve.

Listen, if anybody asks, this conversation
lasted at least another 20 minutes.

I really don't want to meet
those Gibblers.

Huh? Huh? Huh?

[overlapping chatter, applause]

Joey!

So, uh, what do you think?

Joey, this is amazing!

Wearing this hat and blazer,
I feel like a Howell.

[howls]

Wrong howl. Not a she-wolf, a Thurston,

but I love the enthusiasm, Gibbler,
pip-pip!

Well, it's a big night.

Ramona, are you ready to meet
your grandparents?

Yeah, I'm excited.

Well, unless it's you in a wig.

It's you in a wig, isn't it?

Fifteen months till college,
15 months till college.

Joey, thanks so much
for setting this whole night up,

But mostly, thanks for reconnecting me
with my parents.

Oh, it's my pleasure, Kimmy.

You know, I haven't told anyone yet,

but when I see my dad tonight...

I'm going to ask him
to walk me down the aisle.

He's a lucky feller.

[chuckles]

I still don't know what to do
about Jackson.

It's going to be all right.

Jackson's pretty resilient.

It's me you should be worried about.

-You?
-Yeah.

I haven't even met Mrs. Gibbler yet,
and the woman is already exhausting.

Hey, Deej.

Oh, hey.
Did you talk to Jackson? Is he coming?

I did what I could but I'm not sure.

[playing fanfare on harmonica]

I have a singing telegram
for Kimmy and Jimmy Gibbler.

Oh, boy.

♪ Afraid I have some sad news ♪

♪ The Gibblers cannot come ♪

♪ They send sincere regrets ♪

♪ Don't want to spoil your fun ♪

[vocalizing]

[vocalizing]

My parents aren't coming?

Hey, guys, hold on. Uh...

This is kind of my fault.

I'll go talk to her.

Okay.

-Hey, honey.
-Hey.

You all right?

Yeah, I'm okay, but...

Poor Kimmy. She always wants to believe
the best in people.

Me, I thought something like this
might happen.

Growing up,
we got a lot of singing telegrams.

Oh.

Well, our family isn't going to be
like that.

♪ Do you validate parking? ♪

♪ No ♪

Kimmy, you in here?

No.

Just sad coats.

Okay, sad coats. If you see Kimmy,
tell her Joey's looking for her.

It's actually me.

I'm the sad coat.

Kimmy, I'm sorry.

I feel like this is somewhat my fault.

It's entirely your fault.

I feel a little bit responsible.

Yeah, there's no one else that bears
any responsibility.

Well, except me.

[exhales]

It's my fault for letting myself
get excited again.

I was just hoping this time,
things would be different.

But as much as I've tried to deny it,
this is what they were always like.

And this is why I spent so much time
at the Tanner house.

You guys were my real family.

I feel the same way.

That's why I spent so much time
with Jesse and Danny.

Kimmy, I don't like to talk
about it very much,

but I didn't have
the greatest family life either.

And that's why all you guys
became my family.

Wow.

It sounds like we have a lot more
in common than we realized.

You have a woodchuck puppet?

-I'm eccentric, not crazy.
-[Joey chuckles]

Oh, it's just hitting me.

If my dad didn't come tonight,

then he's probably not going to come
to my wedding either.

Kimmy, he doesn't know what he's missing.

You know something, it was
an absolute pleasure to watch you grow up.

And, Kimmy...

I would be very honored

if you'd allow me to walk you down
the aisle on your wedding day.

Really?

Nothing would make me happier.

-Thanks, Joey.
-Mm-hmm.

Okay, we'd better get back
into that party.

People are going to forget
this is a yacht club

if they don't see me wearing this hat.

Let's boogaloo, Gibbler.

Kimmy, are you okay?

I'm actually really good.

Joey talked me through it.

This Joey?

Did you call Grandpa Danny
and ask him what to say?

For your information,

I did pretty darn well on my own.

-So did this kid.
-Aww.

Thanks.

Kimberlina, how dare your parents
not show up.

They travel the world
searching for treasure,

never realizing the most precious treasure
is you.

Thank you, Fernando.

I love you, too.

And, Ramona, I'm sorry you didn't get
to meet your grandparents.

Oh, it's okay.

If they're anything like your impression,
I'm good.

Hey.

I'm sorry our parents
let us down again, Sis.

But...

I think we've got a pretty great family
without them.

We sure do.

So...

I say we play them at the wedding.

But this time, I'll be Dad.
I never get to wear the monocle.

[Kimmy] Ah!

Bully for you, Jeffcoat.

Hey, guys.

Sorry I'm late.

Wow.

Jackson, you're wearing your dad's suit.

[sighs] Oh.

You look so handsome,
just like your dad.

Yeah. Steve gave it to me.

Even had it tailored to fit me.

That is so sweet.

And I love that you wanted to wear it.

Of course I did.

It's Dad's special occasion suit.

And you getting engaged to Steve
is a pretty special occasion.

Jackson, you are turning into
a wonderful, mature man.

-Your dad would be so proud of you.
-Thanks, Mom.

And thank you, Steve.

Really, there's no one I'd rather
have marry my mom.

Thanks, man. That means the world to me.

And there's no group of people
I'd rather spend my life with.

Thank you.

That's what families do.

Okay, everybody. Come on, to family.

Okay, to the ones you're born into,

and the ones you make.

-Hey.
-And the ones you dress up like.

To family!

Cheers!

♪ One, two, three, four ♪

[vocalizing]

[vocalizing]