01x12 - A Private Life

[bunniefuu]

( Computer beeping )

I just remembered, I owe you money.

Well, thank you for sparing me the awkward confrontation.

Are you starting to feel exploited?

Yeah, but in a good way.

Go ahead.

Are you looking at my balance?

It's okay.

Size isn't everything.

( Music blaring )

So, does bad music make people deaf, or do deaf people just have really bad taste in music?

Well, there is Beethoven.

Hey, come on, let's go.

( Thug ) What the f*ck is that sh*t?

I need my receipt, my receipt...

Eh, eh, eh...

It's all yours.

Do you think you can do that kind of offensive sh*t like that in public?

We're sorry, we didn't...

Oh, he's sorry.

Look, Pete, let's go.

f*ck you, man!

( Pete yelling ) Run, run...!

Help!

( Dialing cell phone )

The other one got away.

f*ckin' pervert!

Read a Bible, you pervert!

Come on, let's go.

( Rico ) Okay, here we go with uncle Nate.

You got him?

Put your hand under there...

There you go, whoo, yes.

Okay, but don't hold him like he's a football.

It's more like you're carrying a watermelon.

See?

Okay.

Hey, there, little guy.

Who looks just like his daddy?

( Ruth ) They say when a baby's born it always looks more like its father.

Which is nature's way of establishing paternity.

We're hoping he grows out of it.

( Ruth ) Oh, don't worry, I'm sure he will.

( Vanessa ) David, come meet Augusto.

I just have to, uh, get Mr. Perlmutter dressed for his viewing.

Ai, David, please.

Come take one look at him.

( Ruth ) Nate was an extremely gassy baby, always crying.

David, on the other hand, hardly ever made a peep.

( Rico ) Hey, when are you guys gonna grow up around here and make this woman a grandmami?

Well, certainly not until after Mr. Perlmutter's got some clothes on.

Ohh...

You know, it's kind of funny, me coming back to school in a hearse.

It's hilarious.

This sucks.

Does everybody know?

I don't know, who'd you tell?

No, I mean, like, did they make an announcement or something?

Don't you think you would've gotten a couple of cards or something, if they had?

No.

It's not cool to O.D.

It freaks people out.

Who gives a f*ck what these people think?

Everyone is too obsessed with what everyone else thinks about them to think about anyone else.

You're a freak.

Yeah, well, so are you.

Is that supposed to make me feel better?

( Kids chattering ) That's the guy who OD'd?

( Claire ) What the f*ck are you looking at?

Oh, so what, you called me over here to show me a picture of you and the grave digger?

I need your key back.

'Cause you've crossed a line, and I don't feel like I can trust you anymore.

You think I took that picture?

I will not play this game with you!

I'm not gonna deal with you when you're off your meds, Billy, because, I don't even know who you are.

For someone with so much animosity towards the psychiatric profession, you sure do love to push those pharmaceuticals.

Makes sense, as you're obviously no stranger to medication yourself.

You're sick, Billy.

And you have to stay on your f*cking medication or you get scary, okay?

You're not scared of me.

I'd never hurt you.

You're the most important person in my life.

Yeah, well did you ever stop to think that maybe that's f*cked up?

I'm sorry.

Don't be sorry, just, just take the meds.

Okay, I promise.

Now give me the key.

I just told you I'd take the medication, Brenda.

I just told you I'd take the medication!

Jesus Christ, you don't have to be such a bitch!

When did you turn into mom?!

Okay, I don't give a sh*t, you want your f*cking key?

Great, here, take all the f*cking keys.

I could always have an extra copy at home.

Yeah, I can always change the locks.

Do you know how easy it would be to break into this place?

I'd like you to go now.

Get your wet suit, clothing, robes, take them.

I just told you I'd take the medication, Brenda!

I told you I would take the medication, please.

You have to take care of yourself now.

I can't do it, not anymore.

Please, Brenda, you're the only person I can talk to, you're the only one that hears me, Brenda.

Billy, you have to get a life of your own, okay?

Please.

You probably read about it, it was all over the news, what happened to Marc.

Yes.

The coroners...

Still has his, they still have him.

In situations like this, when there's been, uh, v*olence, the family may prefer a closed casket.

No.

Honey, I think he looks pretty bad.

I have to see him.

I brought some pictures, so, you'll know what he looks like.

Wasn't he such a beautiful boy?

Why does a thing like this happen?

Come on, now, we all know why this happened.

That is not a reason.

It's the only reason.

If he wasn't...

He'd be alive today.

You know, I was always so worried about aids.

I never even thought that just being out on the street...

What is wrong with people?

I could've told him this kind of thing happens.

I would've, too, if he'd ever just, talked to us about it, ever come out, and told us what he was.

Well, what do you expect, Marcus?

You can't even say it.

( Rico singing in Spanish )

Hey, Dave.

I'll be right with you.

( Spanish )

( David ) Jesus!

( Rico ) Whoo boy.

Okay, Cinderella.

We're gonna have to work overtime to get you ready for the ball.

Because men don't make passes at girls with big gashes.

Ha, ha, that was funny, right?

Daddy's Mr. Funnyman!

Let me just run Augusto upstairs and I'll be right back down to do him.

I can handle this, Federico.

Why don't you take the rest of the day off?

That's a pretty tough job, Dave.

The skull's all shattered up there.

And you might have to completely rebuild the tissue on his cheek.

I can do it.

Hey, thanks, man.

I'm so damn tired I can barely see straight.

Get some rest.

You bet, good luck!

And I told him not to come around for a while.

That's it?

What else could I do, Nate?

You could talk to the police, you could get a restraining order.

I don't need you to tell me how to handle this.

That is so arrogant and patronizing.

I just need you to listen to me.

Brenda, you can't just sit around waiting for the next f*cked up thing Billy does.

You need to do something now.

Do you think that was easy for me, just cutting him off like that?

Do you even comprehend what it's like to be responsible for someone your whole life?

Do you even get the concept of loving somebody that much?

Yes, I get that concept.

He's sick.

He's not just sick, he's dangerous.

He built a b*mb.

He broke into our hotel room and took pictures of us in bed.

What's he gonna do next time?

I took his key away from him.

Yeah, well, he didn't have a key in Vegas, that didn't keep him out.

I'm sorry.

I know you don't trust your parents, but I really think they're right on this.

He needs to be somewhere.

This is so not how I need you to be right now.

What are you doing?

I don't wanna discuss this with you anymore.

In fact, you know what?

Why don't we just take some time off?

What is this?

Oh, you dump Billy, so now you're gonna dump me?

Don't you f*cking analyze me!

You might as well throw away your key, because I changed the lock.

Where's Claire?

Well, she claims to be at a movie, but, what do I know?

Nobody everybody tells me what's really going on.

That boy, who got b*at up on the street...

Was he doing something?

He was getting cash, didn't you read the paper?

Yes, I just thought you might know more about it.

Do you like the hen?

Very much, what did you stuff it with?

Chestnuts, bread crumbs, celery.

Do you want to know all the ingredients?

No, thanks.

Are you going out tonight?

Not tonight.

Are you?

Me? No.

But, you know, sometimes I do see Hiram on occasion.

And, I know you don't like that, but I also know you love me no matter who I see in my private life.

Well, that's good, mom.

So, why did you drop jazz vocals sophomore year?

Because the music teacher was a crackhead.

I'm serious, Claire.

So am I.

He got busted and fired and then jazz vocals was discontinued.

Do your homework.

What happened with the literary magazine?

Censorship.

I wrote this totally, like, harmless like, cartoon story about this girl who can make people's heads explode, and apparently it was too disturbing to publish.

The debate team?

They debated what the prom theme should be.

I mean, god, the people in this school.

They have the mentality of teenagers.

You are a teenager.

Yes, but I actually think about things beside trying to figure out how to puke after lunch without anyone noticing.

So, what do you do for fun?

I don't know.

What do you do for fun?

I go bowling with my friends.

I take hikes with my girlfriend.

I bake.

You bake?

Your turn.

I read.

I go online and make up freaky cyber identities.

You know, sometimes I'm a Scientologist, sometimes I'm a young, Christian wife.

What about friendships that are, based on the truth, any of those?

Sometimes I hang out with Parker McKenna, I kinda like her.

Even though she's pretty much a split personality freak.

Dating anyone?

Dating?

You mean like getting drunk and screwing?

If that's what it is.

Yeah, that's what it is, no, I'm not.

Keith, got a minute?

Sure.

What's up?

I wanna put you on security for the Marc foster funeral on Thursday.

Okay, why?

'Cause all of the wackos turn out for these things.

Why me?

Come on, Keith.

Because you're a good, smart cop and you use your head before you use your g*n, alright?

So, it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm gay, right?

What do you wanna do, man, sue me for discrimination, or show up and protect this kid's family?

( Marc laughing )

Oh, god, I look like something Chef Boyardee makes.

So, you never told your parents you were gay either?

Oh, please, they knew.

I just didn't want my dad making me feel guilty about it all the time.

Maybe he could have accepted it if you'd given him a chance.

You heard him.

He thinks it's my fault I'm dead.

That's not what he was saying.

He was saying it's a sick world.

I'm the one who was sick.

Shut up.

So, I liked men.

I never should have given in to it.

It's not what god intended.

I could have had a family, I could have had a normal life.

You could've, too.

That life would have been a lie, and completely unfair to your wife and children, who would've hated you.

Not if I never looked back.

Not if I had faith.

God challenges us like this, so we'll chose good, so we'll triumph over evil.

Only thing is, so few of us do.

It's not a choice.

God already made the choice for you.

That's just liberal propaganda to justify your own depravity.

Jim.

No matter how nice you fix me up, I'm still going to hell, and you know it.

'Cause you're going there too.

Brenda, pick up the phone.

Don't just lay there and say "f*ck you".

Okay, look, I'm sorry I pissed you off.

I know you're under a lot of pressure but so am I.

So, let's talk about it, okay?

Call me.

( Phone )

Hey!

Uh, yes, this is Fisher & sons, can I help you?

I'm terribly sorry.

Yes, we can pick up the body, uh, the deceased.

Which morgue?

Oh, residence, okay.

What's the address?

Robbie?

Oh, I'm sorry, did my tree hit you?

Do you have a moment?

Well, I don't know, Ruth.

I got a whole big bunch of ferns out back I gotta cut up so you can make more of those beautiful, one-of-a-kind arrangements.

How did you tell your parents you were...

Into flowers?

Well, it was obvious from the beginning.

My first word was perennial.

How did you tell them you were...

Gay?

What makes you think I am gay?

Just because I have a refined aesthetic, you think you can make assumptions about my personal life?

I'm so sorry, you're not gay?

Yes, I'm gay.

But I certainly don't see how that's any of your business.

Do I ask you about your intimate sexual life, even though it is on full display in the workplace?

No, I do not.

I tolerate the repercussions, but, I don't pry.

I'm sorry.

I'm asking because my son...

Oh, dear lord, save it for "Geraldo".

Someone in the family shows signs of h*m* and suddenly it's a national crisis.

Coming out to my parents, honestly, why don't you tell me the most horrible moment from your intimate past?

It was horrible?

It's none of your business.

I'm sorry I offended you, Robbie.

( Groaning )

That is a shitty place for the Lily.

Mr. Jacoby?

( Music playing )

( Opera music playing )

Oh, f*ck.

Jesus, Billy, you f*cking psycho.

Ahhh!

Did I get you?

Come on, man, it's paint.

Why aren't you laughing?

I don't think it's funny.

No, it's just plain fun.

You know, if you mix up the letters in "funeral" you get "real fun".

How much do you love that?

You stay away from my sister, she's just a kid.

That's kinda ironic, don't you think?

You telling me that.

What'd they tell you?

They tell you I made a b*mb?

Did they tell you who it was for?

I know you wrote things about your family.

Liar!

Don't f*cking lie to me.

He thought he was such a genius.

Everybody thought, he was supposed...

He even had Brenda fooled.

Which blows my mind.

Well, okay, she was young.

Are you talking about Dr. Feinberg?

No, Trevor, you f*cking moron.

Trevor, perfect f*cking, Trevor.

He thought he was the king of Brenda, which is such adolescent sh*t, as if you could know somebody for, what, a few months?

And just replace their whole life?

Their family?

Brenda's not allowed to love anyone as much as she loves you?

Able...

She's not able.

You know what? You're right.

Bren' never even told me about Trevor.

She obviously doesn't trust me.

You don't get to call her that!

You call her Brenda.

You know, she broke up with me today.

Really?

Yeah, took away my key.

Well, it's probably for the best.

You and Brenda, was never a good idea.

Yeah, tell me about it.

Listen, I gotta go, so, you take care.

Hey.

Hey.

You ready to go?

Yeah, just, gimme a second to recover.

Still bad, huh?

It's just f*cking tiring trying to act normal all day.

I know what you mean.

So, what's the stupidest thing anyone's said to you today?

Umm, oh, Packy Walker told me that he once had to get his stomach pumped because he ate his dog's de-worming pills.

He thought they were 'ludes.

Well, isn't it comforting to know that being miserable's still better than being an idiot?

( Alarm chirping )

Alright.

You wanna hear the most horrible moment from my intimate past?

Uh, no, sister, I do not.

I was married to my husband for 30 years and I never slept with another man until I started having sex with my hairdresser.

And the first time my hairdresser friend and I had intercourse, he asked me to pleasure myself so he would know, you know, how I did that.

And, I couldn't.

Because I had never pleasured myself in my life.

I was 52 years old.

And I had to learn how to...

Masturbate.

From a hairdresser.

( Laughing ) Ohh...

Oh, my...

Well, Ruth, thank you for sharing that, but, I'm still not gonna tell you about coming out to my parents.

Why not?

Because I never did, cupcake.

My daddy would've never spoken another word to me and my mother would've just gone, insane, right there, on the spot.

How do you know?

A child knows what his parents need him to be.

My mother is one of those women that never did anything but raise children.

So, if you came out wrong, like the opposite of what she was trying to make you into, then, you know, her whole life is a failure.

I'm not like that.

( Brenda ) Did he ever actually thr*aten you?

Uh, telling the new boyfriend you wanted the old boyfriend dead while you're playing with a f*cking Kn*fe, yeah, that seems like a thr*at to me.

How come you never told me about Trevor?

It's such ancient history.

You said you'd never been serious about anyone.

I was 18.

Did you love him?

Yes.

So, what happened?

Billy got sick.

Trevor went to Yale without me.

Billy got rid of him because he was jealous.

Everyone was jealous of Trevor.

He was ridiculously gifted.

One of those people who everybody secretly hates because he's good at everything and always gets what he wants.

He didn't get you.

Oh, please, he could do better.

He did, actually.

The woman he married won the national book award last year.

You know, you're ridiculously gifted too.

You could be one of those people who has everything.

Look, I don't know, Bren'.

If you don't wanna deal with this, I think I might have to wanna call your parents.

Well, you might have to wanna call my parents, but, unfortunately, they happen to be in South Africa at the moment.

I have absolutely no idea how to contact them.

Would you stop f*cking around?

I love you and I'm sure that whatever you feel about me, you don't wanna see me dead.

Are you okay?

No.

Do you want me to take you to a doctor?

What, now you think I'm crazy, too?

No, no.

Goddammit, why are you shutting me out?

I just wanna be alone, okay?

I just wanna go to sleep.

Well, goodnight.

Why didn't you tell me about your relationship with Gabriel Dimas?

I guess I just wasn't in the mood for a lecture on inappropriate friends.

What makes you think I would do that?

Well, some people don't think he's the greatest influence.

And what do you think?

I think that I'm as much of an influence on him as he is on me, so, it's not like it only goes one way.

Right.

Relating to another person is a way we relate to a part of ourselves.

He's like an extreme version of me, you know?

I can see that.

But, what he's going through, it's so much more.

But I understand, you know?

Feeling like you've got this shadow over you all the time.

What's your shadow?

Umm...

Death, I guess.

Death and silence.

Is that crazy?

What's the silence?

I don't know, it's like sadness, or...

Fear, maybe.

It's like, you know, everybody's so scared that they're gonna say the wrong thing.

'Cause, like, you know, when you Bury someone, it's the most sensitive time in a person's life.

So, it's like my family, they're just so careful.

It's like they almost become invisible.

That was heavy.

What's going on?

Nothing, I'm just being a freak.

You don't have to be afraid that you'll say the wrong thing.

That's just it, I'm not.

I mean, I do say the wrong thing.

But, it's like, this is gonna sound stupid, but like I talk so much sh*t all the time, you know, and that's just another way to not say...

Whatever.

To not say what?

I'm not here for the school, or for your mom, I'm just here for you.

This is confidential, right?

Gabe didn't O.D. by accident.

He did it on purpose I think.

Well, most O.D.s aren't really just accidents.

Right, so, what can I do as the friend of a person who would do something like that?

Like, I know all the, "I can't save him" stuff, and, I went to the websites, and it's all like "what you can't do".

So, what can do I?

Try not to make yourself invisible.

This isn't about me.

That's not a very good start, is it?

At least my tie can be straight, right?

You should have left me the way I was, let the world see me for who I was really am.

An abomination of nature.

Shut up.

Who you are is nothing to be ashamed of.

That's a little hard to buy, coming from somebody who cruises for d*ck on the Internet and has unsafe sex with prostitutes.

You know, they made a shrine at the place where you d*ed, with pictures of you and flowers.

People go there and hold candles in your honor.

What people?

Your friends, your community.

Bleeding heart faggots with nothing better to do.

Guys who f*cked me when they were drunk and then never called me back.

There are people who love you.

But not as many as hate me.

And you.

( Clapping )

Nice job.

Man, that is the best work you've ever done, David.

Thanks.

Nice, very nice.

Hey, there's like 200 h*m* outside.

Already?

It's only quarter of.

You'd think the family wouldn't want all of that coming in here, you know?

All of what?

There's this one guy, he's dressed like Jackie Kennedy.

You think this guy's mother really needs to see that today?

How'd you get those abrasions on his cheek so smooth looking?

I used diaper rash cream, you left some.

Wow.

You know, Rico, I'm a h*m*.

I may not dress like Jackie Kennedy but I have sex with men.

Don't talk to me about that, alright?

Why should I have to hide it from you?

You change your baby's diaper in my house, you show me a videotape of your wife giving birth.

Where I come from, if men need to do that sometimes, they don't talk about it.

They don't leave their wife and kids, they're still men.

I am a man!

So I took the height of tree "a" and divided it by the length of shadow "B".

So, do you see how I got to tangent "C"?

Since when are you such a 'trig bitch?

Don't get me wrong, I know it's totally pointless.

Just somehow, teaching you makes it seem more interesting.

It must be the power.

Well, you, are a very stimulating teacher.

I love your, grasp of the material.

Umm, maybe we should grasp the next one.

Which one?

Number five.

Come here.

What is it?

Nothing.

Allergies.

Hey, come on.

I'm scared.

It's okay.

I'm scared, too.

I'm scared you're gonna disappear.

I'm not gonna disappear.

What are you scared of?

I'm scared I'm not gonna finish my math homework.

Hey, I told you.

I'm scared that you are too good for me.

Oh, you're crazy.

I finally find a woman I wanna commit to, and she makes it totally impossible.

You think that's a coincidence?

What is that supposed to mean?

Maybe if she made it easier you wouldn't be so eager.

I need more garlic.

You've always been bored with the girls you could have, and fascinated with the ones you couldn't.

Yeah, well, whose fault is that?

Your brother's gay, isn't he?

I think that's a question for him.

Has he told you?

No, he has not told me.

But, it's obvious, everyone knows.

Am I supposed to say something to him?

I tried, I tried to discuss it, he wouldn't let me.

I guess he doesn't wanna talk about it, mom.

But it's not good for a person to skulk around like that.

He's very tense, it's not good for him.

Breathe, mom.

I know how to breathe!

And I don't appreciate you blaming me for all your problems, thank you very much.

Your carrots are burning.

Haven't you seen a little girl called bunny?

About your age?

A new girl.

With a dress, just like yours...

( Glass breaking )

( Door opening )

What are you doing here?

I know what to do.

I know how to fix it.

Yeah? Fix what?

Oh, it was a big mistake.

But I'm gonna fix it, okay?

Oh, my god, Billy, what have you...

Did you hurt him?

No, no, no, I fixed it.

Oh, god.

See, I can't be him anymore.

He's somebody else now.

I did it for you.

And now we can Bury him, and the best part is now the nurse won't ever be able to find him.

You've lost a lot of blood.

Let me get a towel.

We just have to get yours now.

This way, you'll be safe from her, too, for like the first time ever and then we can Bury them, and then you and I can be new people.

And we can forget about everything bad that they wrote.

I don't want us to be new people, I like us the way we are.

Well, I already did it, Brenda, so, you have to do it, too.

Okay.

Give me the Kn*fe.

I wanna do it.

No, you did yours, I should do mine.

Nathaniel saved Isabel once, they were on the sailboat...

It's a book, it's fiction.

And he gave her mouth to mouth and saved her for the first time...

Nathaniel and Isabel are not real.

I need to do it.

Billy, get off me!

Billy, get off me!

I'm warning you, this is gonna hurt.

Yes, hello, I need an ambulance.

( Male ) Your son's burning in hell!

God hates fags!

God hates morons!

The wages of sin is death!

And aids!

You leave these people alone or so help me...

It's my right to be here.

Yeah, this is America.

It's my right to tell the truth.

God k*lled Marc foster and I'm here to celebrate.

God just shoved your stomach into your lungs and I'm here to celebrate!

Look, god just got you in the face!

What's wrong with you?

He started it.

You alright, sir?

That man oughta be arrested.

We'll take care of it, you just watch yourself.

I demand that that man be arrested!

This is a funeral, show some respect.

What happened? Did something happen?

No, nothing happened.

I'm sorry.

Don't apologize to me.

Damn...

You messed that guy up.

No, I'm sorry for how I've been.

I'm just, I'm sorry.

You know, I have to work not to be worrying about you all the time.

You could get yourself k*lled if...

If what?

If that's what you want.

That's not what I want.

Are you sure?

Yes.

I'm sorry for how I was, with you, when we were together.

I don't know why it's so hard for me.

It's hard for all of us.

But, you know that you're right, that you're a good man.

For me it's like I agree with them, you know?

Like it is my fault, and I should be able to fix it.

There's nothing to fix.

But it's not who I wanna be.

I wanna be like the guy at my church with the kid on his knee.

You can have a kid on your knee, David.

That guy probably hasn't slept with his wife in five years.

I feel like my father would hate me if he knew.

You told me he did know.

And he never said anything.

Did you?

My girl's named Claire, she likes it clean, she's got orange hair, smells like tangerines, she's got orange hair, smells like Benzedrine!

Would you shut up?

My mother's gonna fry your balls for breakfast if she catches you in here.

Nice.

So, is that pretty much what you eat in a funeral home?

Yeah, why?

( Music playing )

You okay?

I had Billy committed.

Mom?

Are you okay?

I have a terrible headache.

Well, maybe we can talk later.

What, what?

I'm gay.

Why didn't you ever tell me?

I am telling you.

Before, before. Don't you trust me?

What do you mean? I'm telling you.

But I've tried to discuss it with you several times.

Look, I just wasn't comfortable, okay?

What does it matter now?

Why not?

When I was clearly trying to be open.

You know, mom.

You may be trying to be open now, and that's great, but, that's not how you've been for all my life.

You and dad, no one talked about anything, none of us are like that.

Except Nate, and that's just because he has no other way to distinguish himself.

I've always loved you.

I know you love the part of me that's your son.

What part of you isn't my son?

You're all my son.

I don't think you know me very well.

Well, whose fault is that?

I'm sorry.

And, you know, when you've tried to bring it up before, or now, even, it's like you've decided you should know who I am.

Like you're willing to see me the way you'd make yourself look at something horrible.

Like a corpse, because it's your job, your duty.

It revolts you, but you make yourself bear it.

Well, you're wrong, you don't revolt me!

I don't choose which part of you I love, like some kind of chicken!

It was just so much easier when you were little and you would tell me everything.

And when you were upset, I could always fix it.

I don't know how to take care of you anymore.

Just let me take care of myself.

But do you?

I'm afraid that you don't.

I do, I will.

Well, that's all that I wanted to say.

Alright.

We're having veal.

Well, mommy still loves you.

Does that make everything better?

Yeah, I didn't think it would.

What are you still doing here?

I could've come out to every mother in the world, and I'd still be dead.

Oh, what, you're gonna interrupt him and his matching love stud?

Both of them will be in hell with us, by the way.

But something tells me they're gonna have a lot more fun.

Stop, stop.

Make me.

Please, god, help me, take this pain away.

Please fill this loneliness with your love.

Help me, god, please help me.