23x06 - Season Finale

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

Hey.
Good morning, everybody,

Welcome to "Tegridy Breakfast,"
the show where we talk about

everything
Tegridy Farms.

I'm Randy Marsh.

Hey hey hey, folks.
I'm Towelie.

Today, we're gonna talk about
what's been growing on the farm,

especially our new
Tegridy Thanksgiving Special.

I'll tell you what, I smoked
it out of a 4-foot bong,

and it just about
destroyed my --

Alright. Wrap it up.
Shut this down.

Come on, Marsh.
Let's go.

Go -- Go where?

Everyone's had enough,
Mr. Marsh.

We need you
to come with us.

What the hell
are you doing?

Sorry, everybody,
we'll be right back.

Let's go.

What do you think you're --
my show!

My Tegridy Farms show!

Hello, Mayor,
Mr. And Mrs. Tweek,

Mackey.

Mr. Marsh, do you remember
a few weeks ago,

when homes in South Park
were att*cked by a t*rror1st

called "Mexican Joker"?

Yeah. Mexican Joker.
That was terrible.

Right. Except there was
no Mexican Joker.

It was you who
blew up people's yards

because they were homegrowing
their own marijuana.

Pfft.
Well, that's ridiculous.

The Tweeks have come forward
with some footage

caught on their
security camera.

Guys, I have nothing
against home-growers.

Run the the footage,
please.

Hmmm.

Mm-hmm.

People are fed up, Marsh.

The past few weeks, you've held
parades for yourself,

needlessly slaughtered
1,000 cows,

made deals
with the Chinese,

{\an1}and nearly poisoned everyone
with your Halloween Special.

Everyone's had enough
of Tegridy Farms.

Enough of Tegridy Farms?

South Park is nothing
without Tegridy Farms.

You'll be taken to county jail
to await your trial.

Get him
out of here.

I didn't do
anything wrong!

You people are
just jealous --

jealous that I
took over South Park,

and I'm successful!

Well, at least now,

South Park can start
getting back to normal.

Titty farts!
Titty farts, dog weiner!

Dog weiner! Dog Wiener!

Pubic mooooounund...

Pubic mounnnnd...

Just hike the stupid ball,
Cartman!

Pubic mound,
titty farts, hut!

One Mississippi,
two Mississippi,
three Mississippi,
four Mississippi...

Dude, I'm open!

You can't catch!

Dude, I'm wide open!

That totally would have
been a touchdown.

[ Organ music plays ]

Little Jason White was a happy
child, a playful child.

And ultimately, it was
his playfulness in sports

that got him k*lled in a freak
hit-and-run accident.

The father would like
to now say a few words.

I'm Robert White,
Jason's father.

And I can tell you that,
as a White,

Jason lived
a challenged life.

[ Sobbing ]

When I look out
on this congregation,

I can't help but think,

"There's not a whole lot
of people here."

Doesn't seem like
a big deal.

Nobody's outraged
'cause it was our family.

Nobody cares when a White
gets k*lled by the police.

There should be protests
and marches, but no.

The police k*lled a White.
That's not protest-worthy.

Everybody's busy trying
to lock up Randy Marsh.

Now, my wife and I
have a dead child,

and we can't even get any weed
to make us feel better!

[ Sobs hysterically ]

Yeah, don't listen to me.
I'm just a White.

Kids, I have something
to tell you,

but I don't want you
to be scared, ok?

Daddy is... in police custody
until there's a hearing.

He could be in jail
for a long time.

Do you promise?

Like, how long is a long time?
Like, could it be years?

It could be, sweetheart.
We don't know.

Yes!

Is it possible he could
get out of it?

Of course
it's possible, honey.

[ Groans ]

But if he doesn't get out of it,
then what happens to us?

We'd probably have to
sell the farm,

and move back to town,
and sort of live our lives

without the marijuana business,
and without Daddy.

Just try to
stay hopeful kids.

We will, Mom.
You, too.

Okay.
You, too. Shelly.

Okay, Mom.
You, too.

[ Intercom beeps ]

What?

Who?

Oh. Okay, sure.
Put him through.

This is the President.

Hi Mr. Gar--
Mr. President.

I'm really sorry
to bother you.

Look, uh...
I'm in a bit of trouble.

Oh, tell me about it.

Yeah, they uh...

Someone got some
supposed evidence on me

doing something illegal,
and uh...

Well, did you tell everyone you
didn't do anything wrong?

Yeah.
Yeah, of course.

Well, did you then
go on the att*ck,

and swap the accusations,
to make yourself a victim?

Did I --
Did I what?

Oh, geez.
DARVO, Randy --

deny, att*ck,
reverse victim and offender.

Alright.
Let's role play.

You be your accusers,
and I'll be you.

Okay, go.

Uh... Um... Hey, you --
you blew up people's yards

who were growing
their own marijuana.

No, I didn't!
Are you joking, you psychopath?!

Now you're blowing up
my yard!

Go ahead.
Try another one.

You -- You illegally damaged
property to make your business--

You damaged property to make
your business more profitable,

you lying sack of sh*t!

I'm not gonna
be bullied by you!

See? It's really
not that hard.

It just takes a little
chin wiggling.

Geez, you're really
good at that.

Look, what I really need
from you is some personnel.

Do you know
any good lawyers?

Do I know any
good lawyers?

No. But I do know
Rudy Giuliani.

Hey. [Bleep] you.

No, [bleep] you, Rudy.

You finish cleaning up
those pistachio nuts yet?

Yeah. That's all of them,
Mr. President.

Listen, Randy,
I'm gonna throw you a bone.

You just sit tight, and I'll
help you take care of this.

[ Doorbell rings ]

Sheila. Gerald. Hi.

Hi, Sharon.

We just know
you're going through

a really hard time
right now.

We wanted to bring
you guys a lasagna.

Oh, that's so sweet.
Thank you.

Other families have brought
some stuff, too.

Come on in.

Hey, guys.
We got lasagna.

I love lasagna!

Hey, no running in the house
you little turkeys.

Oh, look at that,
Sharon.

You took down all the pictures
of marijuana.

Oh. Yeah. You know,
just too painful.

You know,
they remind me of Randy.

That's why I took down
Randy's pictures, too,

because, you know,
they remind me of Randy.

Look, I'm sorry if you don't
want to talk about it,

but have you thought about
what you might do

if Randy
gets put away?

Yeah. I've kind of made a list
of all the things I might do.

It's kind of
a long list.

MR. WHITE:
Oh, isn't this lovely?

The whole town, turning out
to support the Marsh family

in their time of need.

Our son was k*lled
by the police.

Would have been nice if somebody
brought us a lasagna.

You know,
if I'm not mistaken,

it almost seems like you people
are happy that Tegridy Farms

is being indicted.

It's almost like
you're reveling in it.

My wife and I were both
Tegridy Plus members.

We always believed
in Randy Marsh.

We believed in Tegridy.

And now,
there's less Whites.

Now, there's less Whites.

Oh, geez. We should have
never played football
that close to the road.

Yeah.
This isn't right.

Where are you going,
Eric?

I think I might
be able to help them.

Mr. And Mrs. White!

I'm sorry about
what happened.

I knew Jason
pretty well.

He was a shitty receiver.
But he would have wanted

his parents to move on,
and help a new child.

Wh-- What do you mean?

A few weeks ago,
I was sent somewhere.

It was a place
where people like you

can find a way to fill
that empty hole.

JEFF:
Welcome, everyone.

My name is Jeff.

We're thrilled you've come
to help out and adopt.

The parents of the children
inside have all been deported,

but the kids
are legal citizens,

since they were born
in the United States.

Mr. and Mrs. White?

Yes?

We all heard about
your tragic loss.

I'd love to help out
however I can.

Is there something specific
you're looking for?

We... don't really know.

We've got all kinds here,
depending on your preferences.

Here's a little
Panamanian.

They're very clean.

This is a
Colombian Shorthair.

Oh, and this is
a good one.

This is a
Baja Shepherd.

Quiero mi papa.
Quiero my mama.

Bien, gracias. Y tu?

Oh, honey, look at
the Peruvian Hairless.

Yes, they're pretty
silly-looking.

Great with kids,
though.

Hey, what's this
little guy?

Oh, this is a
purebred Mexican.

He's had
all his sh*ts.

Parents were deported
two weeks ago.

Here. We can let him
run around a little bit.

Mi familia?
Donde estas?

Bien, gracias.
Y tu?

Oh, Bob,
he's kind of perfect.

Hello, little fellow.

How would you like
to be a White?

Look, doctor, you have to
give me something.

I'm really sick.

What exactly
are your symptoms?

I'm like... starting to question
things that I've done --

like, starting to question
the person I've become.

And I can't sleep
at night.

I just lay in my cell,

wondering if I've been
a bad father lately,

and a bad husband.

Please. It really hurts.
I need some marijuana.

It sounds like you haven't had
access to marijuana for a while,

and now reality
is setting in.

I just need a little
medicinal weed,

and these symptoms
will all go away.

Well, maybe they shouldn't
go away.

Maybe this is your wake-up call
that you've been abusing dr*gs,

and you need to face
all your wrong-doings,

try to turn
your life around.

You need to turn
your life around!

Clearly, you have
the addiction problem,

and I'm just
your whipping boy!

That's not going to work,
Mr. Marsh.

You're not the President
of the United States.

Ah poop.

[ Laughter ]
MAN: Come on.

Well, Alejandro, How are you
enjoying being a White so far?

Mi familia! Donde estas?

Bien. Gracias. Y tu?

Yes, its good us Whites have
each other, Alejandro,

because...
I need to tell you something.

You see, now that you're a White
life isn't gonna be so easy.

You're gonna find that a lot
of people in this world

just don't care
about The Whites.

You'll hear all about how others
in the world are mistreated

but nobody will care
when you are.

Being a White is
the hardest thing ever.

That's my little White.

Oh --
Turn it up honey!

And the President of
the United States today

called the allegations
against Randy Marsh

"total butt[bleep] bullshit"

and claims the neighbors
who came forward

with the evidence video are

"Tampon Faced 69ing
whistleblowers"

When asked for clarification
the President's lawyer

and treasonous pig, Rudy
Giuliani, had this to say.

Ooh, this is just a conspiracy!
It's a conspiracy!

And we need everyone out there
who -- who don't think

their voices are heard to make
their voices louder!!
Uhp. He's absolutely right!

Starting tomorrow the Whites are
going to start actively trying

to stop all this trial nonsense!

Bob! Alejandro's
on your phone

and it's past
phone use time!

Hey!

Why, he's trying
to call Mexico!

Alejandro, the Whites do not use
mobile devices after 7:00 P.M.

Why would he try to call
long distance to Mexico?

Does he just assume
that the Whites

have all the money
in the world!?

The Whites don't call
long distance.

Jason never tried to use mobile
devices after the cut off time.

Jason never tried to
call long distance!

[ Sobbing ]

Well good job, Alejandro, now
you've upset your mother!

Esa no es mi madre!

Bien. Gracias. Y Tu?

I've had a lot of time to just
sit in here and think...

Starting to realize I have
this pattern of behavior

where I always want more.

More weed. More drinks.

More deals with
the Chinese...

It's never enough.

See, I always had my flaws
but at the end of the day

I cared about people.

You know what the
president said?

He said just deny everything and
make yourself the victim...

Yeah, well, maybe he's
part of how I got here.

Maybe the president has brought
down my moral meter.

I don't mean to cast blame,
I'm to blame, but,

ever since he was elected I've
compared my morals to his.

And no matter how awful I am...

I'm never as bad as the
president so I'm okay.

Help support Tegridy Farms
and Randy Marsh?

Randy Marsh has done
nothing wrong.

Stop the ridiculous
persecution.
Help exonerate Tegridy Farms?

Oh yeah, just ignore us!

The Whites are used to it!

Good one, honey.

Daddy!

Alejandro isn't
ringin' his bell!

Alejandro! There's
few enough of us as it is!

We're not gonna stop this trial
unless all the Whites chip in!

Now ring your bell.

[ Bell rings ]

No quiero estar aqui!!

It's like he doesn't
appreciate us, Bob.

No, I know.
I mean, we give him
a place to live,

food, we take care of him.
He's just --
He doesn't happy.

Maybe if we got him a little
thing to take care of and feed,

he'd understand how much
responsibility it is.

We're so glad you came back
Mr. and Mrs. White!

We have even more kids now who's
parents have been deported!

See one you like,
Alejandro?

Now that you're a White you
can pick any one you want.

Oh, here's a good one!

Four years old, parents
just deported yesterday.

He's a Panamanian
Podengo Pequeño.

Do you like him,
Alejandro?

We can see how he gets
along with the kids.

Quiro mi mama?

Nunca la volveras a ver.

Oh, look --
I think he likes him!

Alright, Alejandro,
but you have

to take care of him
and clean up after him.

This is a great addition
to our family.

Yeah... And now there
will be more Whites

to help put a stop to
those needless hearings.

Hey, Marsh,
you got a visitor.

I do?!

Fifteen minutes.
That's all you get.

Hello, Mr. Marsh.

My name is Mr. Giuliani!

I've been sent to try
and help you!

Oh... thanks but I think
I'm just gonna plead guilty.

Oh, that sounds like someone
who's a little down in the puss.

The president said you would be
and he thought you might need

a little something special.

[ Belt jingling,
zipper unzipping ]

Shhhhhh....

Would this make you feel better?

Ohhh...

Ohhhhh...

Is this just what
the doctor ordered?

Yeah...

[ Inhaling ]

♪♪

[ Crowd shouting ]
Tom, I'm standing outside
the government building

where Randy Marsh is about
to be arraigned.

Protestors from both sides have
gathered here,

some of them who are
for the proceedings...

CROWD: Lock him up! Lock him up!

REPORTER:
...and also those in support

of ending the investigation.

Let him go! Let him go!

These hearings are a waste
of the taxpayers' money!

Nothing in these hearings

will change the Whites'
minds one bit!

-Daddy!
-What?

Alejandro isn't putting
on his sunscreen!

Alejandro!
What have we told you?!

All Whites wear a sunscreen!
Put it on right now!

Ahghggh!! No necesita
protector solar!

Necessito a mi madre
y my padre!

Bien gracias y tu!!
Now put it on!!

Alto! Ahghg! Alto!

Te odio! Te odio!

In the South Park vs. Tegridy
Farms matter,

we are now ready to proceed
with the arraignment.

Before doing so, Mr. Marsh,
do you have any words?

Yeah, I have some words to say!

Go get 'em!
Go -- Go get 'em!

I can't believe I'm being
att*cked here!

You people are monsters.

The evidence shows me
in a yard taking a dump.

Yes. Because I was setting
a trap for Mexican Joker!

-Oh, come on!
-Oh, brother, here we go!

That's right, and Mexican Joker
att*cked seconds later!

I was trying to protect you
people from t*rrorists.

And what do I get for it?!

I get a-a bunch of...

A bunch of...

No...

No, I can't do this.

You wanna know what
really happened?

The president sent me
his lawyer.

And his lawyer told me
what to say to get off

and gave me a joint in prison.

[ Townspeople murmuring ]

And then I smoked that joint.
And you know what I thought?

I thought, "This is some
shitty ass weed."

It wasn't Tegridy.

It barely even changed
my mental state.

[ Acoustic guitar plays ]

The reason I got into
the marijuana business

was to make quality, simple weed
that came from the heart.

Weed that was strong and pure.

Somewhere on that journey
I lost my way.
Tegridy Weed is about community.

It's a sunrise.

It's the smile on a baby.

But most of all,
Tegridy Weed is about family.

I've forgotten I have
a loving wife and a son.

And I'm not gonna forget
them anymore.

So I'm not gonna fight this.

I'll do my time and maybe
some day I'll be back.

Making marijuana that's simple.

Marijuana that's Tegridy.

Because when you do
the right thing...

Good things happen.

[ Explosions ]

[ Crowd screaming ]

It's him!
Oh God, it's him!!

Oh, Jesus, save us!

G-Give it up, M-Mexican Joker.

You don't wanna do this!

Gahggh!

Ghahgh!

Ghahghg!

Alejandro! Get down from
there this minute!

Abajo con Estados Unidos!

Gah!

[g*nf*re]

REPORTER: Mr. Marsh!
REPORTER #2: Mr. Marsh!
REPORTER #3:
Mr. Marsh! Over here!

-Mr. Marsh!
-Mr. Marsh, how does
it feel to be exonerated?

Thank you, it feels really good
to have these charges dropped.

Now we can all get back to the
business of trying to heal.

I'd like to --

Would you please get
the [bleep] away from me?

I'd like to take this
opportunity to thank those

who have always been my side --

supporting me from
the very beginning.

The people who've stood by me
since day one

And gave me hope...

the Whites.

Thanks for having my back,
Mr. and Mrs. White.

And now, everybody,
if you don't mind.

I've got a farm to tend to.

Well, g*ng, I guess
that's about it, huh?

It's been a really good run but
looks like the season is over.

The season is over?

Well sure, the first
snow is falling.

{\an1}Crops are pretty much dead.

But what'd ya all think, huh?

I think this season
was a little better

than anyone expected.

I really wanna thank
you guys for a great run.

And, hey, we hope you all
enjoyed the season too.

It had a little bit of
everything, didn't it?

And hopefully the season finale
really brought it all home.

Of course, if you haven't
had a chance

to try the Season Finale yet,

it is available now
for a special price.

This limited edition weed
made from the very last crop

of the season is pricy
but worth it.

ANNOUNCER: Now taking pre-orders
for season two.

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