[♪♪♪]
Tanner yo-yo's the dribble,
He fakes left, he drives right,
he puts Michelle in
the popcorn machine,
and he jams it right
over 2 feet, 8 inches
of towering toddler.
Yes!
My turn. Okay, here we go.
It's Tanner vs. Tanner
for all the marbles.
Michelle breaks for the basket.
And goes... right
through my legs.
Okay, she's going'
for that superduper,
highflyin', baby-skyin',
junior-junior, slamma-jamma.
Talk about serious hang time.
Michelle scores!
[LAUGHS]
In your face.
In your face.
"NBA action: It's..."
"Fantastic."
[LAUGHS]
[♪♪♪]
[JESSE FREDERICK'S
"EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK" PLAYING]
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
♪ Ahhh ♪
♪ Whatever happened
To predictability ♪
♪ The milkman The paperboy ♪
♪ Evenin' TV? ♪
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a face ♪
♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out
there And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waitin'
To carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪
♪ Dooby-doo-baa-ba-daa ♪
[♪♪♪]
Well, the sandbox is all
ready for Michelle's playgroup.
Great. And I have
prepared a nutritious platter
of celery sticks
for her little friends.
Mmm, celery sticks.
Every kid's favorite.
I remember, every Halloween,
I used to head
straight to the houses
that gave out celery.
[MURMURING]
What'd she say?
She said: [MURMURS]
Honey, take that
apple out of your mouth.
Now, what'd you say?
I said: "Don't pull that
apple out of my mouth."
My loose tooth is stuck.
Not anymore.
It's in this apple.
It came out!
I was jiggling it around
with my tongue for a week.
I could bend it
all the way back,
but it kept hanging
by this one little...
slimy, skinny
string of tooth guts.
I'm gonna go put this
under my pillow right now
for the tooth fairy.
This thing is money in the bank.
Stephanie.
D.J.
Wait till you hear
what happened to me.
Wait till you hear
what happened to me.
My tooth came out.
That's nothing. I jumped
my first fence today.
Big deal. You didn't
jump it, your horse did.
[SIGHS]
So? You didn't lose
your tooth, your gums did.
I'll tell you what happened. No.
Okay, see...
BECKY: C'mon partner,
mosey on in here.
Don't be a baby.
You know you had fun.
That horse had it in for me.
I try to be nice to him: I
gave him a sugar cube.
Jesse. Okay, so it
was Sweet'N Low.
The point is I was nice to him.
And how does he thank me?
Ba-da-boom, he
throws me in the mud.
And then he laughs
at me. [WHINNIES]
Oh, oh, oh, oh, my back.
Get me a seat.
Better?
Yes. Good.
The next time we go riding,
[SIGHS] [IN BABY
VOICE] I promise
I'm gonna get you
a cute little pony.
I think not. I had a
little chat with my butt.
We both decided there'll
be no more horseback riding.
Finito, vamos, shalom.
[CHUCKLES]
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Jesse, that's not fair.
I always do everything
that you wanna do.
Like what?
Like go hear your band play.
Yeah, but that's fun.
Well, I happen to think
riding a horse is fun.
Hold on a sec. Whoa-ah-ah-ah-ah.
You mean to tell me
that horse riding is
more fun than music?
When was the last time you saw
Mister Ed play in front of
50,000 screaming fans, huh?
And did g*ns N' Roses
ever win the Kentucky Derby?
All right. If you don't wanna
go to the Smash Club tonight,
fine, then just skip it. Okay?
Good.
Becky.
Jesse.
How about a nice,
soothing back rub, huh?
Okay.
I could really use one.
And then a little
spaceship landed.
[MAKING DRONING SOUND]
[MAKING PULSING SOUND]
Is this a playgroup
or an oil painting?
Okay, here we go.
Great, Danny.
I'm dyin' out here.
Nothing to worry about.
I have got something
you kids are gonna love.
No more celery.
No more celery.
Toys!
Here you go. And I got a
pail and a sand strainer...
And a plastic...
Whoa, whoa, Lenny,
Lenny. Very uncool.
Sand belongs in the sandbox.
Tell ya what...
Len, buddy, how would
you like to trade in that shovel
for a red, white and
blue... woggly-do?
Yeah.
My toy.
No, Michelle. It's
not nice to be selfish.
Oh, Joey, no. I'm sure
my sweet little Michelle
was just informing
this little sand crab here
that that is one of
her favorite toys.
Here, Lenny, play with this.
My toy.
You wanna try for a third toy,
or do you see any
pattern developing here?
All right, maybe she's
heading into a selfish stage.
Hey, it happens in families.
No one knows why.
Here, Lenny, play with this.
Joey, that's my whiskbroom.
Okay, here, Lenny, but
try not to bend any bristles.
[♪♪♪]
D.J., I've been thinking.
Uh-oh.
Santa Claus works
one night a year,
and always gets
milk and cookies.
The tooth fairy
works every night,
and all she gets is a
sack full of old teeth.
If there's any point
to this, please get to it.
The point is...
I'm leaving the tooth
fairy milk and cookies.
Don't try to stop me.
I've made up my mind.
End of story, case closed,
good night, and good luck.
So young and yet so strange.
[KNOCKS]
Hey, Deej. Hi, Becky.
Hey, do you think we
can go riding next week?
Sure.
Deej, you were amazing today.
When did you decide
to jump that fence?
Well, when the horse
was about halfway over.
I figured, as long
as I'm up here,
I might as well go for it.
JESSE: Hi-ya, Beck.
I'm glad you're here early.
Listen, the band
doesn't go until 9,
so I figure we get a bite
to eat before we go, okay?
Great. Dinner sounds good,
but, uh, Jess, I've been thinking...
about the club.
Maybe you were right.
Of course I was right.
What'd I say?
Well, you said if I didn't
feel like going to the club,
then I should just "skip it."
Oh, well, when I
said, "skip it" skip it,
I-I didn't mean, "don't
go to the club" skip it,
I meant, you know,
"skip the argument" skip it.
Oh, I see, I see. So you didn't
really mean it when you said
you were never
gonna go riding again?
Oh, no, I meant that.
Oh, really? Yeah.
Why don't you want
to come to the club?
Because you play the same songs,
three sets a night, three
nights a week. Right, Joey?
Hey, come on, the Smash
Club is fun. Right, Joey?
Fun? It's loud, it's smoky, and, of course,
they keep that ladies' room immaculate.
Tell her she's wrong
about the ladies' room.
Tell him I'm right
about the ladies' room.
I think I better just stay
out of the ladies' room.
Joey, can you believe that she's
not going to the Smash Club tonight?
Becky, is that true?
Yes.
Well, then I
believe it. Go wash.
MICHELLE [ON MONITOR]: Hello?
Uncle Jesse? It's me, Michelle Tanner.
Somebody probably
wants to hear me sing.
Coming, Michelle.
Why do you men cling to your
antiquated macho attitudes?
[IN ROUGH VOICE] Because
we're tough and rugged.
Now, take a hike, toots,
so I can separate
my wash-and-wears
from my delicates.
Yes, can I help you, young lady?
A kiss, please. Oh...
All right, upside-down kiss.
Upside-down kiss.
[KISS]
See, somebody still loves me.
Michelle, can I talk to you?
I'm a monkey.
[GIBBERS]
Can I tell you my problem first?
All right, listen to this.
My toy.
Oh, Michelle.
Now, you don't wanna grow
up and be selfish like Becky.
JESSE [ON MONITOR]:
Next thing you know,
you won't wanna go
hear your boyfriend sing.
Ah, I don't know what's
got into Becky lately,
but she's really starting
to get on my nerves.
After 7 already?
Ha-ha, I'd better check
that garbage disposal.
[DISPOSAL STARTS HUMMING]
[HUMMING STOPS]
I mean, sometimes she gets
so stubborn and pigheaded...
Heh, excuse me.
You know, sometimes
those things pick up
other people's houses.
Ah, Michelle, why
can't Becky just realize
that your Uncle Jesse is right.
I mean, it's so simple...
[ECHOED OVER
MONITOR] It's so sim...
Hi! [CHUCKLES]
Oh, you found
the baby monitor...
[ECHO ENDS] Didn't you?
Michelle, do that
imitation of me again.
I wanna to talk to you... alone.
Hey, anything you could say to
me, you can say in front of my niece.
No, that's not true.
See what I'm saying?
Here, hold this.
Becky.
"Stubborn"? "Pigheaded"?
Well, it just so happens
that this stubborn pig-head
only goes to that
club to be with you.
Then why are we
arguing? Let's go.
No way.
If you don't wanna
do what I want to do,
why should I do
what you wanna do?
Oh, I get... This whole
thing is about revenge.
You're punishing me. You
don't wanna go to my club
'cause I don't want to ride
your stupid horses, is that it?
Oh, well, it just so happens that those
stupid horses are a lot smarter than you.
Just admit it. Say that
I'm right. Say, I'm right.
Okay, I'm right.
Funny.
Don't you dare
walk out that door.
Don't you dare
leave this hallway.
Hey, I'm talkin' to you.
Don't you dare take that step.
Or that step. Or that
step. Or that step.
Okay, what do you wanna say?
I wanna tell you that, uh...
Th-Th-That this whole
thing is your fault.
Oh, oh, my fault? Yeah.
I disagree. But what else is
new? We always disagree.
We're completely different people
with completely different interests.
Well, fine, maybe we
should start dating people
we have more in common with.
Oh, so that's what you want?
It's obviously what you want.
Oh, well, then fine,
this relationship is over.
Goodbye, Jesse. Fine.
Goodbye, Rebecca.
[SIGHS]
[♪♪♪]
[BUZZING]
[BUZZING STOPS]
All right, it's morning!
I've been waiting
all night for this.
Stephanie, it's Saturday.
It's also tooth fairy day.
Whoop-dee-do.
Whoa, baby!
You're "whoa-babying"
about a dollar bill?
Does this look
like a dollar bill?
Twenty dollars?!
Whoa, baby!
I knew those milk and
cookies would pay off.
You nerdbomber, I ate
the milk and cookies.
[GASPS]
You're in trouble
this Christmas.
The tooth fairy
and Santa Claus...
are like this:
I don't know, Jesse,
maybe you'd a lot better
if just called Rebecca
and apologized.
Oh, Danny, I gotta face it.
It ain't happenin', man. We
don't have one thing in common.
Oh, sure you do. What's that?
You both are crazy about me.
Guess what.
The tooth fairy left me $20.
Twenty dollars? Whoa, baby!
This isn't fair, Dad.
How come the tooth fairy
never left me that kind of cash?
Well, possibly, the tooth fairy
was fumbling around in the dark,
and, uh, accidentally took
the wrong bill out of his...
Or her... wallet.
Well, I certainly hope
the allowance fairy
makes the same
mistake. JESSE: All right.
All right, everybody,
get your pancakes here.
Ooh.
Pancakes, all right.
My pancakes.
No, no, Michelle. Honey,
those are for everybody.
Why don't we all show Michelle
how much fun sharing can be.
Good idea.
Excellent idea, Joey.
Now, Michelle, watch this.
I am gonna share
my pancake with Joey.
Thank you, Danny.
And I am gonna share
my pancake with D.J.
How thoughtful.
And I'm gonna share my pancake
with my incredibly
fortunate little sister.
You're too kind.
And I am happy to share
with my Uncle Jesse.
Thank you very much.
And I'm gonna share
with one of my three
favorite nieces, Michelle.
There you go.
Now, isn't sharing
fun, everybody?
ALL: Oh, yeah.
[CHUCKLES]
I wish someone would
share their pancake with me.
Here, Daddy.
Thank you, Michelle.
I'm so proud of you.
And I won't even
have to chew it.
[KNOCKING]
It's Becky.
I knew she'd be
back to apologize.
Hi. Hi, Danny.
Hi. Hi, everyone.
Hi. Hi. Mr. Katsopolis,
you left some things
at my apartment.
I assume you'd want your
emergency blow dryer back.
And your emergency
styling spray.
Oh, no, I think you
made a mistake.
This must be yours.
It's for "hard to manage" hair.
Oh, no, no, this must be yours.
It's for vain-and-pompous hair.
Are you guys having a fight?
BOTH: No.
Heh, we just decided not to
be boyfriend-girlfriend anymore.
You can't break up.
Yeah, you're just
like Ken and Barbie.
Daddy, make them
hug and say, "I love you."
Would you guys hug
and say, "I love you"?
Well, it's nice to see everyone,
but I really should get going.
Uh, Becky, I have an idea.
Why don't all of us, and...
I mean all of us.
- -go to the movies tonight.
It's on me and the tooth fairy.
Oh, that's nice girls,
but I have plans tonight.
Um, I'll see you guys later.
See you.
Bye. Bye.
I can't believe it.
She already has a date.
Becky, wait.
You and Uncle Jesse are gonna
get back together, aren't you?
Deej, I can't promise you that.
Becky, you have to.
I mean, if you'd
stop coming over...
I'd really miss you.
Hey, you and I are
always gonna be friends.
You mean we can still go
riding and talk and stuff?
Absolutely. Anytime you
need me, I'm here for you.
Thanks, Becky.
I'll tell you what.
This afternoon,
you and Stephanie and
I can go see that movie.
Great. And don't
forget, it's on Stephanie.
Got it. Later, dude.
Later, babe.
[♪♪♪]
Becky's on her way up.
Where's Uncle Jesse?
He's not here yet.
Then how are we gonna
get them back together?
We gotta stall Becky.
Got it.
Girls, you ready for the movie?
Not yet. You gotta make
up with Uncle Jesse first.
Good stall, Steph.
You know, Uncle
Jesse feels really terrible.
He told us how sorry he was
for everything he's
supposed to be sorry for.
And he's going around with
this sad, little puppy face.
Like:
[LAUGHING] You do the best Elvis
that I've ever seen
any woman do.
I have to be honest
with you. Thanks, Jess.
I love watching
your band rehearse.
Ah, thanks. I just feel bad
that you had to listen to
"Viva Las Vegas" seven times.
Are you kidding, I loved it.
You could put out a whole
album of just that song.
You think? Mm-hm.
You know, this is amazing.
This whole day has been great.
Becky would have never
sat through a rehearsal.
Now, if I said, "Let's
hop on a Harley,
go to Vegas, roll some
dice," what would you say?
I'd say, your bike or mine?
Yeah, see, Becky would say:
"Let's stay here
and play Yahtzee."
And so how come you
can't go five minutes
without mentioning Becky?
Oh, did I mention Becky?
Well, you did break into a
chorus of "Viva Las Becky."
Sorry. All right, I promise,
I'm gonna go upstairs,
and I won't mention
the "B" word, okay?
I... I won't even say
anything that ends in "ecky."
No-No-No-No
shecky, no trekkie... I...
Uncle Jesse, I've gotta
talk to you. Not now, D.J.
Becky's here. My Becky?
I mean, my ex-Becky?
An-An-And she's
down there, and Be...
Oh, I gotta think.
Hey... Hang on.
She said she was really sorry
for everything she's
supposed to be sorry for.
Really?
All she does is make
this sad little face like:
Really?
I'm pretty sure
she stopped crying.
Oh, she was crying?
All day.
Hi.
Hello.
It was nice of you to
apologize. Yeah, well, I...
Nice of me?
D.J. said...
Oh, what's the
difference what D.J. said.
She said you made that
cute, little puppy dog face,
like this:
Oh, no, no, no.
They said you went:
Come on, didn't you guys
miss each other
like crazy just a little?
Well, maybe I missed
her like crazy just a little...
if she missed me.
Did you?
Of course I missed you.
Oh, Becky, I've been
thinkin' about ya nonstop.
Jess, I thought we were leaving.
Well... Who's this?
Uh, well... You
said that already.
You have anything else to say?
No, I... I think I'd just
like to stick with "well."
This could get ugly.
Well, it's nice to meet
you, whoever you are.
I'm sure you two
have a lot in common.
Goodbye, Jess.
Whoa... He-Hey... Stay
here. One second. Wait.
You couldn't even wait one day?
I only made a date because
you said you made a date.
I didn't say, "I made a
date." I said, "I made plans."
Plans, a date, I-I...
Excuse me, but there's
no other way outta here.
I'm really sorry, Diane.
I hope you're Becky.
'Cause if you're not,
you're gonna hear
an awful lot about her
for the rest of the day.
Really?
You were talking about me?
Yeah, I've been
talkin' about ya,
I've been thinking abou... I
even sang "Viva Las Becky."
Come on.
I hate it when we
fight. I mean... so silly.
First you get mad,
then I get mad.
Oh no, that's not what happens.
You always get mad before I do.
I don't get mad before you
do. Are you crazy? Yes, you do!
You have that crazy
thing... All right, stop!
What are we fighting
about this time?
I think we're fighting
about the way we fight.
This may be our
stupidest fight yet.
Why do we fight like this?
Nobody ever wins.
Ah, Becky, I don't
wanna win. I just...
I want you to understand
me better, that's all.
Of course, if I happen
to win in the process...
Wait a minute.
I think you may have
accidentally said something useful.
I did?
Yes.
Instead of arguing
with each other,
why don't we try really
listening to each other.
I mean, we might learn something
about the person we care about.
That's exactly
what I want. That's...
I want us to know each other
better. Understand each...
All right, let's
put this into play.
Let's try this with our problem.
Now, you don't
wanna go to the club
because it's loud, smoky,
filthy and disgusting, right?
Exactly. And you
don't wanna ride horses
because they're stupid, smelly,
and potentially dangerous.
Exactly. So we have to
give up everything we loved
and we'll both be happy, right?
Wrong. Good 'cause I...
I just got this
new guitar, and I...
I'd hate to give it up.
Jesse, we don't have
to give up anything.
We can do our own
things and still be a couple.
We can? Sure, we can.
How about if you only go riding
with me because you want to.
All right, all right.
And you only go to the club
with me because you want to.
Okay. But never because
we feel we have to. All right.
I gotta tell ya
something, I'm...
I'm still going horseback
riding with you because...
I... I just really
love being with you.
You're so sweet.
You know, there is one
good thing about our fight.
What's that?
We have time making up.
Yes, because our
love is more important
than any puddle of
mud, or smoky club...
Jess.
- -or smelly horse...
Jess.
- -or flies... Jesse. Or... Yeah?
Just say, "Have
mercy," and kiss me.
Have mercy.
BOTH: Aww.
I knew they were gonna come in!
Well, I just wanna
thank you girls
for stickin' your noses
where they don't belong.
Any time, Uncle Jesse.
Let's go to the movies.
It's still my treat.
Steph, I don't think
$20 will be enough.
I'm good for it.
I've got a mouthful
of baby teeth.
Here's 20 bucks. Yeah?
Here's 40. Yeah?
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]