05x33 - The Brain Center at Whipple's

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Twilight Zone". Aired: October 1959 to June 1964.*
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Collection of fantasy and suspenseful stories.
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05x33 - The Brain Center at Whipple's

Post by bunniefuu »

You unlock this door with the key of imagination.

Beyond it is another dimension.

A dimension of sound.

A dimension of sight. A dimension of mind.

You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas.

You've just crossed over into the twilight zone.

Good evening, happy family members and stockholders of the w.v Whipple manufacturing corporation.

This year, as you've already perceived, we are bringing you the story of your company's progress via the motion picture screen.

This is our main operating plant in the Midwest.

You will note the number of employees attending the assembly line.

In this one plant, your company employs 34,827 men.

Added to 13 other major Whipple plants across the country.

We employ a total of close to 283,000 personnel.

And now, to the stunning and exciting news which I believe you'll agree shows, once again.

That at whipple's, we only take forward steps.

And now, family members and stockholders of the Whipple corporation,

this is the x109b14 modified transistorized totally a*t*matic assembly machine which eliminates sixty-one thousand jobs, seventy-three bulky, inefficient machines, eighty-one thousand needless man hours per eleven working days, and $4 million in expenditures each year for employee hospitalization, employee insurance, employee welfare and employee profit participation.

Even as you stockholders are watching this film, the first model of the x109b14 modified transistorized machine is being placed into operations here in our Midwestern main plant.

Within six months, our entire production facilities will be totally automated.

Ladies and gentlemen, from now on.

Whipple will operate from a brain center with machines such as this one.

Ladies and gentlemen of the Whipple family, this ends our 1967 year-end report.

Well, what do you think, hanley? Will that bring the stockholders to their feet cheering? Not that I need any particular encouragement.

The movie speaks for itself.

It does, indeed.

You didn't like it, hanley?

I'm a chief engineer, mr. Whipple.

My duties consist of plant management. I'm not a film critic.

Look, I didn't expect you to give it four stars, hanley.

But as plant manager, I thought you'd have a point of view as to the film's content. I thought you'd have some degree of enthusiasm for the changes we're planning.

Now, does it or doesn't it give you the lay of the land?

You can answer that can't you?

Oh, yes. It gives me the lay of the land.

Tell me, do you really expect to automate this place in six months?

Four months would be a better guess.

There a lot of things going in the old trash heap, hanley.

Time clocks, for instance. There won't be anybody to punch in or out.

I, uh, I think I'll donate them to a museum.

Something, hanley?

Yes, something. Something like a lot of men out of work!

That, unfortunately, is progress, hanley.

You know, you're a solid man when it comes to assembly line planning.

But when it comes to the afore mention progress, you're a foot-dragger.

Well, little sweetheart, you and I are gonna spend a great deal of time together.

Indeed, we are.

Indeed, indeed, indeed we are.

These are the players, with or without a scorecard.

In one corner, a machine.

In the other, one Wallace v. Whipple, man.

And the game?

It happens to be the historical battle between flesh and steel, between the brain of man and the product of man's brain.

We don't make book on this one, and predict no winner but we can tell you that for this particular contest, there is standing room only in the twilight zone.

You know what your trouble is, hanley?

You're holding on tight to this 19th century.

I'm holding tight to some principles, mr. Whipple.

Some principles that have to do with f*ring.

The regret for the wholesale firings of men who've worked here from 20 to 30 years.

Regret, indeed. It's come to regret, huh? I'll let you handle the regrets.

That'll be your responsibility. I tell you what, hanley. Have a sign made for your desk.

It'll say, "mr. Walter hanley, plant manager in charge of regrets."

Tell me, Mr. Whipple, why are you so eager to replace men with machines?

Ever occur to you that you might be trading efficiency for pride?

Pride?

Yes, pride! Craftsmanship. What a man feels when he makes something.

Tell me, what do you suppose that machine of yours feels? Anything? Anything at all?

What the devil can I do with pride? Can it, bottle it, wrap it, produce it?

I'm not selling pride, I'm selling product.

Your father...

What about my father?

Your father ran this plant for 40 years. He had an eye for profit.

Nobody ever accused him of inefficiency, but...

But what?

He had something else on his mind.

What else did my father have on his mind, mr. Hanley?

Good will. And the welfare of the people who worked for him.

Good will and the welfare of the people that worked for him, indeed.

In 40 years, my father doubled the size of his plant while his competitors quadrupled theirs.

His competitors, Mr. Hanley, who were perhaps a little bit less concerned with the good will and welfare of the people that worked for them.

They paid a fair wage and they got a fair day's work in exchange.

But, if they could find a machine they could put in to replace a man, they did it.

But perhaps they didn't have plant managers like yourself who went off into a crying jag every time a pink slip was attached to a time clock.

What's the name of the plant foreman?

Dickerson, Dickerson, that's his name. Get him up here for me, will you?

I'm going to indulge in some of that heartfelt compassion that you hunger for.

I'm going to give him and his staff four months' notice.

Now, I put it to you, hanley, is that compassionate or isn't it?

Now, you go get him, would you please, hanley? Get him up here and hold his hand, dry his eyes, pat him on the head, but get him up here.

So, that's about the size of it, Mr. Dickerson. You may tell the entire day shift that they'll be pink-slipped as of the first of July.

We're here to set it up, Mr. Whipple.

Fine, I've checked the machine over. Just put it downstairs, but treat it gently.

Handle it with care.

Now, you realize that this somewhat wholesale discharge has nothing whatever to do with dissatisfaction on your part or that of the men.

It's merely progress, mr. Dickerson. Progress.

Out with the old, in with the new. Automation.

That'll be all, mr. Dickerson.

Yes, Mr. Whipple.

That will be all.

Did you ever notice, Mr. Hanley, ever notice how it looks like it had a face?

An ugly face.

A miserable, ugly face.

Whipple, he thinks it's a machine.

It's not a machine, it's an enemy. It's an opponent.

I swear, we've got to hate a thing like this.

Getting awful late, d*ck. Should have closed half an hour ago.

You know what these are?

Pair of hands?

Yeah, pair of hands. You know what else they are?

They're obsolete, they're off the market.

They're like wooden wagons trying to roll down a freeway.

Flesh and bone and muscle and nerve, but that don't cut mustard anymore.

I want to tell you some... I'm going to tell you something.

There isn't a machine made that can b*at a man.

Isn't one ma... I'll prove it to you!

I'm going over there right now and I'm gonna prove it to you.

I'm gonna take that new machine of whipple's and I'm gonna turn it into nuts and bolts.

And if that slob with the key chain gets in my way, I'm gonna strangle him with it.

Dickerson! I just got a call from the watchman. He said you're drunk and barged right past him without paying any attention.

And he's right, mr. Whipple.

I am drunk.

And I did barge right in.

I've worked here for 30 years!

And I've been foreman for 77 of them.

In my book, that gives me some rights, Mr. Whipple.

Well, you've got the wrong book, Dickerson.

My book reads as follows: You're drunk, disorderly and trespassing on private property and therefore subject to arrest.

Tell me something, mr. Whipple.

When you're dead and buried, who do you get to mourn for you?

Shall I tell you the difference, Mr. Dickerson, between you and it?

That machine costs two cents an hour for current. It lasts indefinitely.

It gets no wrinkles, no arthritis, no hardening of the arteries.

That one machine is a lathe operator, a press operator.

Two of those machines replace 114 men that take no coffee breaks, no sick leaves, no vacations with pay.

And that, in my book, mr. Dickerson, is worth considerably more than you are.

They should have stopped you a year ago!

Somebody ought to held you down and put a bit in your head and poured in some reminders that men have to eat and work.

And you can't pack them in cosmoline like surplus tanks!

Or put them out to pasture like old bulls!

I'm a man, mr. Whipple!

You hear me? I'm a man!

And that makes me better than that hunk of metal, you hear me?

Better!

What should I do mr, Whipple?

Stop him, stop him!

He has a crow bar!

I don't care!

No, you can't do that, Mr. Whipple.

You see, machine?

It... took more than you to b*at me.

It... it took a man.

Oh, hanley, I've been expecting you.

No doubt.

They told me you were at the hospital.

I just came from the hospital.

Fortunately for you, mr. Whipple, dickerson's gonna live.

Fortunately for me other than protecting my property I have no involvement in that at all.

Are the, uh, technicians downstairs?

Henley, I asked you a question. Are the technicians repairing that machine downstairs?

It appears so.

Ah, good. Good. Oh, hanley, this should interest you.

This is a tape-controlled seven axis. What do they call it? A sentry.

You know what it does? It keeps an eye on every operation in the entire plant.

It keeps absolutely accurate data on man hours, cost hours, product rejects, just everything!

It's the most sophisticated machine I've ever seen. I-I just bought it.

And how many men does it replace?

Oh, well, this should please you. Only one, just one!

As a matter of fact, hanley, it replaces you.

Well, that's only right, Mr. Whipple, since the point of my coming here today was to give you my notice.

Oh, good, good. I, uh, I suspected as much.

You're a sensible man, hanley, and I'm sure you know that an industrial team has to be a compatible team.

And when two men, well, when they rub each other the wrong way, well, it's unrealistic and impractical that they try to stay on the same team.

In spite of the fact you think I'm kind of an ogre, some sort of a heartless scrooge, I'm not going to forget the many years of hard work you put in here for me and my father.

I'm going to see that you get an extremely liberal severance pay and what I'm sure you'll agree is a far better than average pension.

That's very generous of you, Mr. Whipple.

There's something I'd like to give you, if you don't mind.

No, what is that?

That's for you, mr. Whipple, from me.

For your lack of sensitivity, your lack of compassion.

Your heartless manipulation of men and metals.

You can take my severance pay, my pension, and your goodbye speeches and feed them into your machine.

Because when I walk away from you, I walk away clean.

And that, Mr. Whipple, is one hell of a trick!

A new watchman device.

Take out your i.d. Card and hold it in front of the door.

There are built-in electric eyes.

Yes, Mr. Whipple?

Oh, run a control check, please.

I've already done it, mr. Whipple, two hours ago.

I did it right after lunch, too. And if you recall, sir, I did it just after you came in this morning as well.


Have you never heard of preventative maintenance?

It's my job, Mr. Whipple. But what you're asking me to do isn't maintenance.

It's not preventing a thing.

Indeed. I suppose you know what's needed in this plant and what isn't needed.

I know that running equipment checks ten times a day is a waste of time, a waste of effort, and it's getting to be an idiotic ritual around here.

Young man, your presence here is a necessity of the moment.

Notice I stress "of the moment."

Uh, a case in point. Case in point.

Now, stay here, observe this.

Dear sir, yours of the 14th received and acknowledged.

Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country.

Et cetera, et cetera et cetera, et cetera.

A perfect letter. Not one error or erasure.

Typed at the moment of conception. Am I getting through to you, young man?

I presume you mean that secretaries are obsolete now.

Precisely, obsolete. And do you know what else it means?

It means there'll be no more powder rooms, no more coffee breaks.

No more work stoppages due to sundry inconveniences such as maternity and that sort of thing.

Inconveniences like maternity? You'll have to forgive me, Mr. Whipple, but if we keep up with this sort of thing, we're gonna have wonderful products but mighty few people to buy them.

Happily that is not my concern.

I am here to provide efficiency. That is my only concern.

Mr. Whipple? Have you looked around this place lately?

Looked around?

The cafeteria, for example.

It's like a cave. Not a soul in there.

Just a few vending machines and music coming through a loudspeaker.

Have you walked around the parking lot?

It's a desert. No cars, no people.

How very enlightening.

This place has everything now in the way of efficiency.

But do you know what it lacks?

No, tell me.

Voices. Laughter. Just whatever it is that make people feel for people.

That's what it lacks. This is a lousy place to work in, Mr. Whipple.

Then I'll spare you any further suffering. You're discharged.

I've been expecting that. As a matter of fact, I've been wanting it.

No, I can't work here anymore.

It's too darn lonely.

And another thing, Mr. Whipple.

Having to do with equipment checks and preventive maintenance, I think it might be a good idea if you ran an equipment check on yourself!

Equipment check on myself!

What insufferable rot!

Equipment check on myself!

Did it ever occur to you you might be trading efficiency for pride?

When you're dead and buried, who do you get to mourn for you?

I think it might be a good idea if you ran an equipment check on yourself!

Did it ever occur to you you might be trading efficiency for pride?

When you're dead and buried, who do you get to mourn for you?

I think it might be a good idea if you ran an equipment check on yourself!

I think it might be a good idea if you ran an equipment check on yourself!

Did it ever occur to you you might be trading efficiency for pride?

When you're dead and buried, who do you get to mourn for you?

What'll it be mr. Whipple?

Beer, please.

To other days, mr. Hanley.

And, uh, to other toasts.

I'll drink to that, mr. Whipple.

How are you finding retirement?

Oh, tolerable, mr. Whipple, tolerable.

I manage to... I manage to keep busy. Not as much as I'd like.

My wife says I'm underfoot, but, uh, I do all right.

But you know, it's kind of nice to sleep late in the mornings.

It's important. Uh, this retirement, I mean.

Very important.

A man should have time for leisure when he grows older.

It's important he have time for leisure.

That's so, Mr. Whipple.

You know, when the, uh, when the board of directors, uh, first indicated to me that they thought I was uh, somewhat overtired, should relinquish some of my responsibilities, well, if the truth were known, Mr. Hanley, I, uh, I did feel some sort of antipathy for them, but, uh, they were right.

They were-they were quite right, you know.

But with the perspective of time, I...

I realized they'd moved me out of there.

I'm not-I'm not married, you know, and, well, things get alittle dull.

Well, no, not, not dull, really.

I, uh, I manage to keep myself busy, but there are times when I wish th... when I...

It's not right, hanley. It's-it's not right.

Cold, dispassionate, impersonal, they...

They chuck a man out right in his prime.

Chuck him out like he was some-some kind of a-of a part.

Said I was neurotic about things.

Said that being alone with the machines had warped me.

That was the expression they used. "Warped."

It's not fair, hanley. It's not fair.

A man has value. A man has worth.

They just snap their fingers, and they-they bring in a replacement.

They just bring in a replacement. It-it isn't fair, hanley.

It-it isn't fair, the way they-the way they diminish us.

There are many bromides applicable here.

Too much of a good thing, tiger by the tail, as you sow, so shall ye reap.

The point is that too often man becomes clever instead of becoming wise, he becomes inventive, but not thoughtful.

And sometimes, as in the case of Mr. Whipple, he can create himself right out of existence.

Tonight's tale of oddness and obsolescence from the twilight zone.

And now, Mr. Serling.

On the twilight zone next trip, we move into the area of authentic folk singing.

But this is folk singing like you've probably never heard before.

The words and the music in this item are haunting indeed and this one provides one of the more odd excursions into the places of shadow.

Gary Crosby and bonnie Beecher star in a most unusual tale by Anthony Wilson.

It's called come wander with me.
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