01x08 - You've Got Female

[bunniefuu]

♪ ♪

Wow. There are so many clubs.

I don't know which one to pick!

Sydney: Well, I know
which club I'm joining.

I've been dreaming
about being in a jazz band

since I started playing bass.

No one's even here. They're late.

Timing's nothing in the jazz world.

Although I've only got till : .

Good. You can help me figure
out which after-school club to join.

Let's find one that
matches your personality.

We'll start with the fact
that you like to be prepared.

-Hand sanitizer?
-Love one.

I'd like to do something
to help people.

Flyer for our CPR class?

Sounds fun.

Why is this so hard?

-Solar blanket?
-Handy.

I don't think there's a
club out there for me.

Olive!

The Emergency Preparedness Club?

Disposable ear plugs?

I asked for these for Christmas!

And my work here is done.

Oh good, you're here.

Where's the rest of the band?

-Cats didn't show.
-Cool.

-I'm Sydney.
-Miles.

-I see you brought your a*.
-Huh?

(gasps) Oh. You mean my bass.

Yeah, this cat doesn't
go anywhere with her a*.

We're looking for a bass player,

but you'll have to audition.

-Where do I sign up?
-We don't do pens.

Tomorrow afternoon, here.

So... I'll see ya when I see ya.

I got an audition!

I got a carbon monoxide tester!

♪ Do-do-do-do! ♪

(theme music playing)

♪ Like father, like daughter,
we don't always agree ♪

♪ But looking at you
is like looking at me ♪

♪ The more things change,
the more they stay the same ♪

♪ Like father, like daughter,
from different times ♪

♪ Taking all the best from
your decade and mine ♪

♪ The more things change ♪

♪ The more they stay the same ♪

♪ The more they stay the same ♪

♪ ♪

(playing jazz progression)

Come on, Sydney, eat something.

Can't. The audition's today.

Gotta keep these digits
syrup and butter free.

Syd, you're an amazing bass player,

you're gonna nail it.

But not if that left pinky
is weak from hunger.

(à la Audrey II): Feed
me, Sydney. Feed me!

If I eat something, will you
stop making my pinky talk.

Maybe.

(normal voice): I'll stop.

I'm afraid to ask.

You look awesome, Grandma.

What's with the gear?

I'm on a adult dodge ball team,

The Ball Blasters.

Aw. Both of my
girls are joining clubs.

Joined? I was drafted.

They saw me dodge an airborne
cappuccino at the coffee shop.

I've got moves like a cat.

(hisses)

Would you like eggs or should
I just put down a bowl of milk?

(hisses)

Hey, Grandma, what kind of clubs
was Dad into when he was a kid?

Clubs? Ha!

At your age, he only
had one thing on his mind.

Hey! Break it up, you two.

This is a family establishment.

Dude, this board
deserves a little love.

I just landed my first kick flip.

Well, you don't see me slobbering
all over our new grand prize,

the DiscGuy.

If you were mine,
you'd never be lonely.

-What is that thing anyhow?
-That thing?

That thing is a portable CD player.

It can store up to songs on it,

and it only weighs two pounds.

Dude, it's , tickets.

No one ever wins the grand prize.

My dad said only
suckers think they can win.

I so got this.

I'll take the alien stickers.

Excellent choice.

You know how to ride
that thing or just kiss it?

It's - .

I just landed a kick flip.

Ooh, tough trick.

I remember when I first landed it...

when I was .

Trying to say you could out-skate me?

Of course not.

I know I can.

Skate park on Main.

-Tomorrow after school.
-You're on.

Bring bandages. You'll need them.

Don't worry.

I will.

Way to end strong.

(playing jazz music)

How's it going?

How'd you get in here?

This. I can get in anywhere.

It's like wearing a celebrity.

You should call it "Kanye Vest."

I'll laugh when I'm off duty
and lives aren't at stake.

-So?
-It's between me and that guy.

Oh, you're way better than him.

You're gonna k*ll it.

(music ends)

Cool. Thanks for coming in, Jake.

You're up, Sydney.

Quick. Let me see your bass face.

Oh, it's on!

(instruments play notes)

(playing jazz music)

Whoa.

Hey, slide over.

Respect the vest.

(jazz music continuing)

(music ends)

Leo, I just came back
from the skate park.

Newsflash: Brittany is da b*mb.

Another newsflash:

I really like saying newsflash.

Can't talk. Crushing moles.

Britt's really good, man.

She even taught me
how to do a dolphin flip.

Nice! Still can't talk.

When the Dog Boys saw me doing it,

they gave me a "Whoa, dude."

I've gotten a "Whoa" and a "Dude,"

but never a "Whoa, dude."

Now that's a newsflash.

Ooh. They posted
the new club rosters.

(sighs) This is it, Olive.

The moment of truth.

Clear the way! BFF coming through!

I wanna see an aisle, people!

I didn't get in.

That kid Jake did.

What?

Fumble fingers?

But you were so much better.

How could they do this?

I don't know.

But I'm gonna find out.

(laughing)

Miles.

Oh, uh... Hey.

I just saw the list.

See you guys finally got pens.

So, what's the deal?
Why didn't I get in?

Oh, yeah. You know how it is, man.

No, I don't know...

maaan.

I thought I did pretty good.

Yeah, yeah. You were great.

It's just that me and
the guys took a vote.

And, uh... Jake was a better fit.

It's a vibe thing.

Yeah, I think I know
what that vibe is.

- So? - They
didn't pick me
because I'm a girl.

-No!
-Yes.

-No!
-Yes.

-No!
-Olive!

Sorry. I'm at a loss for words.

Well, I'm not. Vice
Principal Virmani!

Yes?

It's about the jazz club.

I'm pretty sure I didn't
get in because I'm a girl.

Sorry. I'd like to help

but the school doesn't get
involved in after-school clubs.

We want to encourage problem-solving,

empower students to
speak for themselves.

I am speaking for myself,

and I'd like my problem solved.

I love your passion.

And...?

Never lose it.

Oh, I'm about to lose it.

Hey, Syd. How'd it... go?

I think I got my answer.

I wasn't picked for the
jazz band because I'm a girl.

-What?
-I slayed that audition

and all they said was
it was a "vibe" thing.

A vibe thing! This is so unfair.

Unfair? It's criminal.

They can't exclude girls like that.

-Those boys need to...
-Uh, Dad...

You mind? This is my rant.

Oh, right. Uh... Go on.

Maybe a little D-ball would
teach those boys a lesson.

Trust me, Grandma, these
guys do not play dodge ball.

Sometimes you don't know
you're a game until you are!

And besides, it's not just them.

I asked around.

The model car club
has turned down girls.

And Gabby Kunkel can't get
elected president of the Chess Club.

Noodle! You girls gotta get
together and stand up for your rights.

-You gotta be heard!
-Exactly.

You mean like a protest?

Yeah. We'll take this to the streets.

You know, I was thinking
more of a strongly worded e-mail.

Okay, poster board
and markers coming up.

Hi. Is Max here?

Did he leave those outside again?

Max!

Come in.

Actually, these are
mine. I'm a boarder.

Wow. I didn't know girls skateboard.

Right on.

I roller skate.

Nice!

-Yo, Britt.
-What's up, Max?

I taped the latest
Tony Hawk competition.

Supposed to be fly.

Later, Mom.

All right. All right.

Great to meet you, Brittany.

I'm proud of you. Go
out there and k*ll it!

Hey, listen. Bad news.

We're gonna have to
find a new skate park.

-Why? I love that park.
-I know.

But there were these jerks who
won't let me skate the half pipe.

They said they
don't skate with girls.

What? That's so stupid.

You could out-skate them all.

Tell that to the Dog Boys.

The Dog Boys?

You know those posers?

Me? Of course not.

Never heard of them.

They're just lucky
I wasn't there, or...

or...

You get the picture.

Who wants lemonade?

Who wants lemonade?

Squad, this banner is so extra.

Brooklyn, your glitter game is fire.

Can you believe this turnout?

I know!

Even the girls from
the "I Don't Care."

"About Anything" club came.

I've never seen them so pumped.

Ladies, can I have your attention?

First, I'd like to thank
everyone who came out tonight.

Oh, and my dad for the tasty treats.

Notice the gingerbread
cookies are gender-neutral.

Change starts in the oven.

So here's the plan.

Tomorrow at exactly : ,

we will all quietly
walk out of class.

That's walk, not run.

We are not protesting safety.

And then we'll meet in the main hall,

sit down, and won't move
until our demands are met.

And what are they, Sydney?

That all clubs make
their admission process

open and transparent.

And if that doesn't work,

we'll burn our bras!

Wrong group?

Moving along...

Then we'll start our chant

and I'll raise our beacon of hope.

You call that a beacon of hope?

I'll make you a great beacon of hope.

So, what's the chant?

Oh.

-I haven't thought of one.
-I did.

Hey, ho, we won't go!

Not until our clubs are fair

and don't make sketchy decisions

about who can join and who can't,

especially the ones
that don't let girls in!

Like that, only shorter.

I don't know what we'd lose.

I wonder how many
are actually gonna show.

-Well, so far there is...
-(clicking)

Two!

-(indistinct chatter)
-What?

People! Even boy people!

Cue the banner!

(cheering)

We're not leavin', till it's even!

All: We're not
leavin', till it's even!

We're not leavin', till it's even!

-Everyone, everyone...
-We're not leavin', till it's even!

-We're not leavin'!
-First of all...

love your passion.

Never lose it.

But anyone who doesn't get back
to class right now, gets detention.

Then put my name down first.

Because this is bigger than
having a day in detention.

-Yeah!
-Or a week in detention!

Yeah! What?

It's about every young woman
who has ever felt denied.

It's about Gabby, who's the
best chess player in school

but can't get elected
president of her club.

It's about Aubrey,

who just wants to build model cars.

But this is bigger
than just school clubs.

Because one day, these
boys will become men.

So today is about our future.

It's about ensuring
equal opportunities

and equal respect for
all women everywhere.

(cheering)

Syd, the beacon!

I know. Cool, right?

So, we're not leavin'...

All: Till it's even!

We're not leavin', till it's even!

-We're not leavin'...
-(girls screaming)

Don't worry! It's nontoxic.

Come on! It's just a little foam.

Or a lot of it.

(G on door)

Syd?

Uh, listen. About
the beacon of hope...

I want to apologize.

I guess I went a little
heavy on the beacon

and a little light on the hope.

It's okay, Dad. It's not your fault.

I was crazy to think
this protest would work.

All it got me was a week of
detention and two ears full of foam.

Syd, I better your ears are burning.

What? Olive said it was nontoxic.

My girl Brooklyn DM'd
me about your protest.

It's gone viral. Peep the comments.

"The boys wouldn't
let me play football."

"I couldn't get into Improve Club

because they said
girls weren't funny."

"I really to join Sewing Club."

Oh! That's a dude. That's cool too.

(phone chimes)

It's from the school.

They've agreed to
reopen club sign-ups!

-I'm getting a new audition.
-Yes!

And to prove they're being
transparent, it's open to the public.

-This is so lit.
-Nothing's ever been lit-ter.

Where is that dodgeball
when I need it?

Hey, Mega-Max.

Yo, Britt.

Let me grab my deck and
we'll go trash the pipes.

Oh no. Dog Boys.

Hey, Britt! I just remembered there's a
new great new game I want you to try.

Way over here.

But I like games that kick butt.

What kicks butt more than... bowling?

Leo, you gotta help me.
The Dog Boys are here.

If they see I skate with Brittany,

no more "Whoa, dude."

And if Brittany finds out I'm
hanging with the Dog Boys,

no more Brittany!

Can't. Only tickets
away from DiscGuy.

Leo, I didn't want to do this, but...

"Dirty socks."

What?

You're using our "drop
whatever you're doing

"and step up for your
buddy, no matter what" word?

You left me no choice.

All you have to do
is keep Brittany busy

-till I get rid of the Dog Boys.
-Yeah, but the DiscGuy...

-Dirty socks.
-I'm on it.

Yo, dudes.

Wassup?

Hey, little man. We
were rolling through,

thought we'd check out the place.

It's pretty cool.

Yeah. But you know
what's even cooler?

The laundromat next door.

Whoa, dude.

Yo, scope out that racing game.

I've always wanted
to drive underwater.

Okay, Britt, let's go.

But I like this game.

I thought you wanted to kick butt.

I am. His.

I need to get back to my game.

-Dirty socks.
-Taco salad.

What? You're gonna top

my "dirty socks" with "taco salad"?

You know you only get to
use that once per lifetime.

What's a lifetime without a DiscGuy?

Okay, okay.

Just give me a second
to get rid of the Dog Boys.

(engines revving)

(machine powers down)

Hey, what happened to the game?

This machine's busted. We're outtie.

Come on.

Yeah, outtie is
definitely the way to go.

Hey, we're going to the skate park.

You wanna come bust
some tricks with us?

For real?

You want me to skate with you?

Sweet.

Hold up. I gotta take care of...

Brittany.

I thought you didn't know these guys.

What?

These guys are total strangers.

Never seen them before in my life.

You coming, Max?

Just a sec.

I can't believe you lied to me.

You wanna hang with a bunch of jerks

who don't think girls
belong on a skateboard?

I really thought you
were cooler than that.

I am! I swear.

Don't you get it?

I'll hang with the Dog
Boys and convince them

that girls are awesome skaters too.

Don't bother.

Riccoli: Let's go.

Wow.

Sometimes things don't end
the way you think they will.

-DiscGuy, please.
-Huh?

Hey! Put that back.

There's no way you
have , tickets.

(playing jazz music)

(music ends)

Thank you, Jake. Love your passion.

Our next auditioner
is... Sydney Reynolds.

-Good luck.
-Thanks.

-Ready?
-Ready.

(playing jazz music)

(music ends)

(cheering)

Girl power!

You crushed it.

-Not bad.
-Thanks.

You so got this.

Next up, Yolanda Peters.

Who?

(playing funk music)

(music ends)

(cheering)

You're not bad, but she
blew us both out of the water.

I know.

Sydney, if it wasn't for you,

I never would have had
the courage to even audition.

You inspire me.

(weakly): Yay.

Syd, again, I'm sorry you
didn't get into the band.

Thanks, Dad but if it's all the same,

I'd rather forget about it right now.

What's this?

That? Nothing. Just a box.

Can't a guy put a box in the
fridge without a million questions?

Did that say
"Congratulations, Sydney"?

Not anymore.

Thanks anyways, Dad.

You know what?

Congratulations are in order.

Look how you helped those girls.

It does feel pretty great.

Although I wouldn't
have had to do any of this

if there were more
woke guys like you.

Well, I wasn't always this awake.

When I was a kid, I used to
skate with this awesome girl.

But I was as big a
dope as those jazz boys

and I lost a friend because of it.

Well, the important thing is,

it's not the dope you were then,

but the totally dope dad you are now.

Although you are hogging the cake.

I'm a work in progress.

You are not gonna
believe what's going down.

What's wrong, Grandma?

The Ball Blasters kicked me out.

They said I was too
aggressive. Too aggressive!

But I know the real reason.

It's because I'm a woman.

Grandma, it's an all-girl league.

I'm texting Brooklyn.

You two get the paint and signs.

I'll show them something
they can't dodge.

Me!

Oh, yeah!