06x10 - Little Ricky's School Pageant

[bunniefuu]

"Little Ricky's School Pageant"

("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)

(theme song ending)

(phone ringing)

Hello.

Oh, hi, Caroline.

Yeah, we got back Friday.

Oh, I just loved it.

Florida was marvelous.

Cuba?

Well, just bueno, bueno, that's all.

I met all of Ricky's family,

and guess what, Caroline.

I learned how to do the cha-cha-cha.

Took lessons at the hotel.

No, it wasn't too expensive.

It came to about ten dollars a cha.

Well, it's, uh...

it's sort of like the rumba, only
you, uh...

you do a lot more, uh...
(mutters)

And then there's two or three times
that you, that you...

Oh.

Hi, Mommy. What are you doing?

Yeah, well, just a minute.

Caroline, I got to run now.

I'll call you back later.

Okay, dear. Bye.

Oh, I-I'm just dancing, honey.

Hi, sweetheart.

Well, now, were you a good boy this
afternoon?

Oh, he was just a doll.

He and Uncle Fred have been playing
cowboys and Indians.

Lucy, if you've got this thing
unpacked,

I'll put it down in the basement.

Oh, Fred.
(laughing)

Oh, what's so funny?

Isn't he cute?

That's the way he used to look when
he had hair.

Here, cowboy.

You'd better put that back in the
wigwam.

Go on, honey. You can take that
anytime, Fred.

What's the matter?

Can't you handle it by yourself?

(falsetto): No, I can't handle it by
myself.

Why not?

Because when I lost my hair, I lost
my strength.

Well, if you expect me to help you,

you just lost your mind.

Hi. Hiya, Fred.

Oh, hi, Rick.

Hi, honey.

FRED: Hey, Rick, will you help me

put this thing down in the basement?

Why, sure, Fred.

Come on, grab ahold.

Where's Little Ricky?

Oh, he'll be out in a minute.

Honey, here's Daddy.
Hi, partner!

Hi, Daddy.
Hi.

Hey, honey, hurry back, will you?

Because I want to tell you all about
the PTA meeting.

We made some wonderful plans.

No, absolutely not.

"No, absolutely not" what?

I am not going to cook Spanish food
for people

at another school bazaar again.

Well, it's not a bazaar.

It's a pageant, and it's called The
Enchanted Forest.

Oh. Oh.

Little Ricky's gonna be in it.

Oh, is he?
Yeah.

What's he gonna do?

I don't know. They haven't assigned
the parts yet.

Well, if, uh...

they haven't assigned the parts,

how do you know that he's gonna be in
it?

Well, it's being presented by the
kindergarten

and the first and second grades.

He's bound to be in it.

Oh, I see.

In fact, I assume Little Ricky will
have the star part.

And why do you assume that he's gonna
have the star part?

Well, my goodness, it's perfectly
obvious to me

that Little Ricky has much more
talent

than any other child in the school.

It should also be obvious to you

that there are a lot

of other talented children in school,

and that their families

probably feel exactly the same way.

Well, honey, it's only right that the
most talented child

get the biggest role.

Now, it isn't fair to our son

to give him a stale, unimportant
little part.

Now, Lucy, listen to me.

Hey, Ricky,

wouldn't you like to go into your
room

and play with your trains?

No, Daddy.
I'd like to stay here.

Oh. Well...

will you do it as a favor to Daddy?

Okay.

Thank you, partner.

Thank you, sweetheart.

See you in a minute.

Lucy, we know that the child is
talented,

but that is not the point.

It is much more important

that he learns how to cooperate

and to become a part of a group

than it is for him to be the center
of attention.

Well...

No, really. We don't want him to
think

that... that the world revolves
around him.

We want him to learn that there are
other people

that count, too.

You know something, honey?

You're absolutely right.

You know, you're a regular Cuban Dr.
Spock.

Well, thank you.

Then it's all settled, huh?

Yeah, it's all settled, baby.

Okay. Come on, Fred, let's get this
thing downstairs.

What? Already?

Yeah, children sure love to have a
snack

when they come home from school in
the afternoon.

Kids never seem to get full.

No.

I guess they burn up a lot of energy
playing.

Yeah.

Well, I burn up a lot of energy
eating.

Yeah.

Hi, Mommy. Hi, Ethel.

Well, hi, there.

Hi, sweetheart.

Look at those rosy cheeks.

I bet it was cold outside today.

My sandwich!

Where's my sandwich?!

Oh, for heaven's sake.

Oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry.

There we are.

Honey, did you have a good time in
school today?

No.

No?!

No!

Gee, it reminds me of my schooldays.

Well, honey, what happened?

It's the old pageant.

What about the pageant?

Didn't the teacher give you a part?

Yes.

Well, then why the long face?

She just wanted to give me a little
part.

Well, now, I think that's fine.

I don't.

Why not?

I don't want a stale little part.

Oh, dear. You don't?

I should get a big part.

I've got talent.

Well, now, whoever told you that?

You did.

Where are you going?

I think I hear my mother calling me.

Little Ricky, darling,

I want to have a talk with you.

Now, listen, honey.

Even though

you might want to have a big part in
the pageant,

you must realize that the other
little boys and girls

in the school want to have a big
part, too.

Now, the main thing

is to make the pageant a success,
isn't it?

So, honey, it's much more important

for you to cooperate, and be a member
of the group,

than it is to be the center of
attention.

Do you understand what I'm trying to
say?

Yes, Mommy.

Good.

Now, tomorrow, when you go to school,

I want you to tell your teacher

that you'll be very happy to accept
that stale...

that nice little part in the pageant.
Okay?

Okay, Mommy.

All right, sweetheart.

Hi, Lucy.

Hi.

Say, how about playing

some bridge tonight?

Oh, sorry, honey.

Ricky has to go

to a fathers' meeting at school.

And, say, the last time we played
bridge,

you said you'd never want to play
with me again.

What happened?

Our television set's broken.

Stranded, eh?

Hi, Ethel.
Hi.

Honey, I'll be back about : or
: .
Okay.

What's the meeting for, Rick?

Well, it's a school pageant, you
know.

Yeah, well, the parents are going to
take part in it, too,

and the fathers are getting their
assignments tonight.

Yeah, they'll probably want me

to produce and direct the whole
thing.

Gee, it sounds like a big job.

Yes, I guess it'll be, but, you know,

it's one of those things that they
ask you to do

that you have to do, you know.

Well, I'm very proud of you, dear.

You're such a good father.

It's nothing, honey.

It's a community project,

and everyone should be proud and glad
to do their part.

That's right, dear.

I'll see you later.

Bye-bye, sweetheart.

(sighs)

Oh, boy, you're married to a
wonderful guy.

Yeah.

Hey, how about playing some
three-handed bridge?

Okay. I'll go get the dummy.

That meeting's taking longer than
Ricky figured.

Well, you know Ricky.

When he's in charge of something,

time means nothing.

Huh! Mira!

Que quieren la cosa la gente.
Huh!

Se puede ofrecerle uno que voy
hacerlo.

Y quieren que haga alli

Y no me lo dan a mi nada!

Honey! Honey!
What's wrong?

I'll tell you what's wrong.
What?

You know who they picked

to produce and direct the pageant?

Who?

Clifford Terry.

Clifford Terry?!

Yeah. He's not even in show business.

He runs an orange juice stand.

Why did they ever pick him?

Because, during intermission,

he's gonna give them free orange
juice.

That's why they ever picked him.

What are you gonna be?
His assistant?

No.

His assistant's assistant?
No.

Know what they want me to do?
What?

They want me to be an actor

with all the little kids in The
Enchanted Forest.

Well, honey, that doesn't sound so
bad.

It's probably a big role.

What part are you gonna play?

A hollow tree.

A hollow tree?

A hollow tree.

Eso es lo que quieren que yo haga.

Un actor como mi pasando un hollow
tree.

Eso es lo que quieren que haga yo
alla.

The only father in the whole school

that is in show business,

and they want me to play a hollow
tree.

Mira que tienen cosa.

I've got a good mind to tell them
that

I don't want anything to do

with the whole school pageant.

Daddy, you woke me up.

Oh. I'm sorry, son.

I'm... I'm sorry I shouted so loud.

Daddy?

What?

Why don't you want to be a tree?

Oh. Well, I'm a performer.

I've been in show business since I
was a...

I think you should be a tree.

You do?

Uh-huh. It's more fun to cooperate

than to be the center of attention.

You're right, son.

You're absolutely right.

I'll be a tree.

Oh, boy! Daddy's gonna be a tree!

Daddy's gonna be a tree!

Well, I guess he taught you a lesson.

Just because you couldn't be the big
cheese,

you didn't want to play.

Don't you talk too much.

Wait till you find out what they want
you to do.

What?

You are going to be the old witch.

Ew!

Oh, a hollow tree and an old witch.

Funny, huh?

And don't you two laugh either.

What do you mean?

Well, all the parents are busy

in the production and direction end

of this extravaganza,

so I told them that you two

would be very happy to take a part.

Oh.

Oh, no. What did they pick out for
me?

Oh, they got a dilly for you.

You're gonna be a frog.

Freddy the Frog.

Oh, that's really funny.

And you, Ethel, are gonna be

the Fairy Princess.
ETHEL: Oh!

Well, if there's anything funnier
than me being a frog,

it's you being a fairy princess.

Hey, how come she's a fairy princess

and I'm a witch?

Now, look, dear, remember,

you have to cooperate with the group.

I don't mind cooperating,

but this casting is ridiculous.

Just what do you mean by that?

Oh, nothing personal, Ethel,

but anyone can see you look more like
a witch than I do.

Well, I'm glad you didn't get
personal.

Look, it's really purely a matter of
economics.

What do you mean?

Well, they want to use the costume

that they used last year for the
Fairy Princess,

and Ethel happens to fit it perfect.

Oh, yeah, last year.
I remember.

Jimmy Wilson's mother was the Fairy
Princess

and, oh, she's a...

Oh, you'll fit it perfectly.

Hi, Mommy.
Hi, Daddy.

Hi, partner.

Oh, hi, sweetheart.

Say, that bus got you home kind of
early today, didn't it?

Say, what's this?

Oh, what have you been doing?

A note from the teacher.

"Dear Mrs. Ricardo,

"The child who was to have played the
lead in the pageant

"can't do it because his parents feel
the part is too big,

"and he can't memorize all the lines.

"If you think your son can handle it,

we'd like him to play the lead."

Isn't that wonderful?

Wait a minute, honey.
Who are you calling?

I'm going to call his teacher

and tell her we'd be delighted to
have Ricky play the lead.

Now, wait a minute, honey.

I don't know whether he can handle a
lead.

He's just a little boy.

Honey, he's got show business in his
blood.

You can handle

the lead, can't you, honey?

Sure, Mommy.

Sure.

Hello? Hello, Miss Pringle.

This is Mrs. Ricardo.

Yes. We just read your note,

and we'd like to tell you that we'd
be delighted

to have Ricky play the lead.

Yes. Well, thank you very much. Bye.

Mommy.
What, sweetheart?

What's a lead?

Oh, dear.

"What's a lead?"

Come on, partner.
Time to go to bed.

Oh, not yet, dear.
I want him

to rehearse his lines just once more.

Oh. How's he doing?

Fine. By tomorrow night,

he's gonna be perfect.

Now, honey, let's show Daddy.

Little Suzy says, "Sometime, wouldn't
you like to visit

the Enchanted Forest, Billy?"

Come on, now.
You remember, honey.

All you do is nod.

That's right.

Lucy, I don't know, dear.

This is an awfully big part for a
little fellow.

I don't think we can expect him

to memorize the whole thing in a
couple of days.

Oh, now, honey, don't worry.

He'll remember them all right.

Now, suppose that he doesn't remember
them all right?

Well, so what can happen?

There will always be one of us--

you or me or Fred or Ethel-- close by
to help him.

Now, don't worry about it.

Now, Little Ricky, this is the end.

Suzy is sitting there

reading the book about the Enchanted
Forest,

and she comes to the end of the
story.

What do we do?

(yawning)

"...and after the mean old witch

"recited the code of the Enchanted
Forest,

"the Fairy Princess waved her wand

"and there was dancing and singing

and everyone lived happily ever
after."

Sometime, wouldn't you like to visit

the Enchanted Forest, Billy?

I said, "Sometime, wouldn't you like

to visit the Enchanted Forest,
Billy?"

Good.

Good. Maybe, if we go right to sleep,

we'll visit the Enchanted Forest in
our dreams.

(applause)

Look! This must be the Enchanted
Forest.

(piano playing "Funeral March of a
Marionette")

(gnomes humming along with music)

(all humming and squealing excitedly)

(music getting faster)

(gnomes continue humming along with
upbeat music)

(panicked squealing)

(gnomes screaming intermittently)

(gnomes scream, music pauses)

(music resumes)

(gnomes scream, music pauses)

(music resumes)

(all humming happily along with
music)

(applause)

(drumroll)

Isn't this a beautiful forest?

The most beautiful forest I ever saw.

SUZY: I sure would love to live here.

Wouldn't you?

(whispering): I'd love to live here,
too.

I'd love to live here, too.

Thanks, Daddy.

The bunnies!

The bunnies, Billy!

(piano playing "Early In the
Morning")

(clopping in time with music)

(closing flourish plays)

(applause)

(music resumes)

(clopping in time with music)

(applause)

Weren't the gnomes and bunnies
adorable?

Yes. And here comes Hippity-Hoppity
the frog.

Where?

Right over there.

(hopping in time with drumbeat)

Hello, children.

Hello.
Hello.

You must be Hippity-Hoppity.

That's right.

What's your name, little girl?

I'm Suzy Brown,

and this is my brother.

Well, hello, young fella.

What's your name?

My name is, uh, um...

My name is, uh, um...

Huh?

I can't hear ya.

Billy Brown!

Oh, yeah.

My name is Billy Brown.

We were just saying,

we sure would love to live here.

That's right, Hippity-Hoppity.

Can we live in the Enchanted Forest?

Why, sure, but there's one thing

you've got to be careful about.

You mean the witch?

Yes, because she doesn't like little
children.

So you've got to hide behind the
magic tree

when you see her.

Then you'll be safe.

We'll remember.

Thanks for telling us, Hippity.

You're welcome.

(distant hooting)

What's that?

HIPPITY: Why, those are our friends
the three wise owls.

(piano playing music hall music)

(music slowing down)

(music stops)

(applause)

(loud, eerie rattling)

It's the witch!

Hurry! Hide!

(witch cackling)

(cackling)

(cackling)

Aha!

I see you, children.

You come out from behind that tree!

No! Never!

This is a magic tree.

You can't hurt us here.

All right, then.
If you won't come out,

then I'm gonna put a curse on your
friend Hippity-Hoppity.

Hippity-bippity...

No! Don't do that!

Don't hurt our friend!

All right, then, you come with me.

No! Never!

Why not?

Do you know who I am, little boy?

I say, do you know who I am?

Sure. You're my mommy.

WITCH: Uh-uh.

You are the witch.

But I'm not the witch.

I'm Billy Brown.

Ai-yi-yi-yi.

If you're not gonna come with me,

then I'm gonna take you with me!

(screaming)

(distant singing)

HIPPITY: Oh, it's the Fairy Princess.

Do not be frightened, little
children.

Nothing can harm you now that I am
here.

(yells)

Run to the frog.

And now,

so that the witch cannot harm

little children anymore,

I'm going to wave my magic wand

and banish her from the Enchanted
Forest forever.

Vanish, old witch!

Vanish!

(applause)

Come here.

And, now that the wicked witch has
been banished,

we can all live in the Enchanted
Forest

happily ever af-after.

Can't the witch ever come back?

Only if she promises to start loving
little children

instead of hating them,

and she must be a good witch

and live by the code of the Enchanted
Forest.

Give her another chance, Fairy
Princess.

Yes, please give her another chance.

Yeah. Why don't you give the kid a
break?

All right, if it will make you all
happy.

Reappear

Reappear

Return, old witch

And come back here.

What do you want?

We may let you stay.

Oh, let me stay, Fairy Princess.

Let me stay.

Only if you promise to be a good
witch.

I promise to be a good witch.

And you have to start loving little
children.

I will.

And you have to recite the code

of the Enchanted Forest.

I will!
I will! I will!

Come, gnomes!

Come, bunnies!

Oh, come on, everybody!

Gather round!

Come on, everybody!

I promise to be good and kind and
gentle,

and to love little children

and all the birds, the trees, and the
flowers and the animals,

and I promise to, uh...

uh...

I promise to, uh...

Promise to laugh and sing and spread
joy and happiness.

Oh. Thanks, dear.

I promise to laugh and sing and
spread joy and happiness,

and I promise never to cast an evil
spell as long as I live.

(all cheering)

And now, let there be dancing and
singing.

WITCH: Hi-dee-dee

Di-da-di.

(piano playing)

ALL: The witch has changed from bad
to good

And now she's acting like she should

She loves each child eternally

And she loves you and you and me...

And now the...

(applause)

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