02x01 - Episode 1

[bunniefuu]

Are you sure you want
to do this? We've...

we've been friends
for a really long time.

Do you wish we hadn't crossed that line?

No.

It was perfect.

So, you don't feel anything for me?

I'm in love with you.

Come with me...

see if there's anything between us,
away from work and everything.

Just the two of us.

I love you.

('IT'S NICE TO BE ALIVE'
BY BALL PARK MUSIC PLAYS)

- Hello? Hi. Hi.
- _

I'm... I'm Lily. Thank you so much. I...

That's too much. No. Too much.

Can I just say, I deeply appreciate
this opportunity to meet with you...

Oh, you're a... You w*nk*r.
You sound like a...

(COMPUTER BEEPS)

LILY: Hello? Hello? Hi!

Ah, Lily.

Thank you so much for taking the time

- to meet with...
- MAN: Oh, no, that's our pleasure.

- WOMAN: Not at all.
- ...me today.

Can I just say, I'm such
a huge fan of your work.

- Oh, thank you. Thank you.
- That's very nice.

Um...

So, I wasn't really
sure that my pitch...

Oh, no, we haven't
read your pitches yet.

Oh, you... haven't?

No, we were hoping to get
a visual presentation,

a pitch, direct from you.

What, like, right now?

- Yeah, go for it.
- Go for it.

Okay, it's a three-part doco series.

So, I want to track three
very different women

and the way that they navigate
the choices that they make,

which will ultimately shape their lives.

Um, we'll... we'll follow them
and watch how they grapple with

the consequences of their choices,

you know, have the baby, quit the job...

Uh...

Sorry, I think the connection
might have frozen.

Hello?

- No.
- No.

- We're here.
- We're here.

♪ Don't get carried away ♪

♪ Darling, don't you understand ♪

♪ That every time we wave
our hands, we're cool... ♪

MEREDITH: It's official.

We've lost the good dummy.

(BABY CRIES)

Yeah, darling girl.

- I know-ow-ow.
- Have you checked the car?

Twice.

Pete, I think this could be worse
than "I need the good dummy" cry.

I think this could be
"Something's internally wrong" cry.

No, it's % "I need the good dummy"
and % "I was happier in the womb".

What about your dad's?

Did you leave it at your dad's?

♪ Ahhh! ♪

I got it, I got it, I
got it! Here you are!

Would it be wrong to ask for
some tomato sauce with it?

(PHONE RINGS AND BUZZES)

I'll get the sauce.

Hello?

Lily Woodward...

Where are you and what are you doing?

I'm... in the... Bay of Islands.

Uh, yeah, that'd be New Zealand.

I'm... standing near the sea.

- And...
- Look, that's lovely for you.

But professionally, what are
you doing professionally?

Just... developing things.

So, basically nothing.

No. Jack...

Jack got a contract with
a hotel/restaurant here,

so I came with him...

If I needed you to come back immediately

and help me save The
Breakfast Bar from euthanasia,

is that something that could happen?

I'm...

I'm sorry. You're running
The Breakfast Bar?

(LAUGHS) Sweetheart, I
am running the network.

- What?!
- I'm Head of Programming.

It's a long story, and a glorious one,

but the highlights are,

the show bombed so old mate, Craig,
was moved to Special Projects,

I got his job and we've got four weeks

to try and turn the show
around or it's lights out.

So... five-hour flight.

We'll get you on the red-eye.

Premium economy.

Well, I...

Just four weeks, Lily. Give us
four weeks to right the ship.

When would you need to know by?

am yesterday.

You were pretty adamant you
were over breakfast TV.

I am.

Well, this feels like
a bit of a backflip.

It's not a backflip. It's just
more like a... a strong lean.

Like a... yoga arch.

It's only for four weeks.

Well, I think we both know

they're gonna offer you more than that.

And... I will say no.

And I'll be gone just long enough

to remember I have made
the right decision...

and I'll come back
here doubly motivated.

Okay?

Mmm! I'll call you when
I get to Mum's tonight.

- Okay?
- Okay.

- I love you.
- I...

Me too.

I'm... I'm getting so close.

I'm really getting close.

It's not the feeling.
The feeling is all there.

- The feeling is...
- Go.

Bye.

(ENGINE STARTS)

Lil...

Lil?!

♪ You're back, you're back,
you know it, you're back ♪

♪ We both know what we want ♪

♪ Look at you, so dangerous ♪

♪ Smokin' hot... ♪

OMG! Lily's back!

Look!

"Just landed in Melbourne.
An hour late. Minimal sleep.

"Appallingly packed bag. No phone.

"Accidentally left it on the charger.

"#Winning #PleaseEmailMe."

What is happening?

Uh...

Have her and Jack
broken up or something?

- I don't know.
- You don't know.

Hey, check out these responses.
What do you reckon?

Option one: "Lols.

"Well, I can't help you with the sleep,

"but if you need a temporary
phone, DM me, lady."

Or, option two: "Lols.

"I'm always late. Rarely well-slept.

"#ImWithHer."

Or, option three...

Actually, mate, I... I haven't
spoken to Lily since she left,

so I'm probably not the best
person to be advising you.

Anyway, should we get a
meeting with Scribe this week

and just kick on with it? Yeah,
get a meeting with Scribe.

Yep, get a meeting with Scribe.

Ooh...

♪ In, in I've fallen all in ♪

♪ There's nothin' I can do ♪

♪ I'm in your arms and I don't care ♪

♪ What's true ♪

♪ Someone like you can do
anything you ever want... ♪

- (PHONE BUZZES)
- ♪ You walk in ♪

♪ And I'm out for the count ♪

♪ Unconditional love ♪

♪ Take me down, knock me out... ♪

LILY: (ON MESSAGE)
Hi, this is Lily Woodward.

Please leave your
message after the tone.

♪ I'm a fool, I should be telling
you, "Get the heck out" ♪

♪ You're a total knockout. ♪

- Lily!
- Alice...

- Hi!
- Hi!

I am so, so sorry.
My flight was delayed.

- And then I left my phone...
- Oh, no, it's fine.

in New Zealand.

It's fine. It's so fine.

And it is, like, so
good to have you back.

Aw. Mmm!

- Nikkii.
- I know. I look like sh*t.

- It's okay.
- No, you don't.

I do.

I wear trainers to work now
and I've aged, like, years.

You look the same.

Dale!

I, too, have aged years.

I've missed you so much.

Don't immediately deny
the ageing comment. Fine.

I am so excited.

I have seen all your previous
work, in reverse order.

That sounds mildly torturous.

ALICE: Lil, this is Jeremy.
He's a new producer.

No. It was a master class.

Exuberant, effervescent, ebullient.

Those were the key words
I kept coming back to.

Thank you. I think.

Where's Sasha?

Oh... She won't be checking
in with us till later.

O... okay. Good.

Because I've been doing some thinking...

Now, it's all pretty raw
at this stage, but...

obviously, we need a
loud show this week,

something like dangerous diets...

- (JEREMY GROANS)
- or anti-vaxxers...

No. Sorry.

You didn't get the running sheet?

Uh, no... Not if it was
sent after am. No.

This week is Erica's goodbye show.

Excuse me?

Erica's being replaced as co-host.

Uh...

Her goodbye episode
will be this Saturday.

We wanted someone steeped in the
history of the show to take the reins.

That's why you're here.

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

(KNOCKS)

Lily!

Hi.

You still look offensively
young and... beautiful.

How are you?

I'm a little confused, I'll be honest.

Jeremy's the new producer?

- That's right.
- And my role is...?

The other producer.

How... did you imagine
that was gonna work?

Well, you know what it's like
when there's one producer?

Yes.

Like that, only with two.

Wh... wh... what's his background?

He's a network pick.

Young wunderkind, apparently.

Also happens to be the
CEO's son. What a coincidence.

But so far, he's been disturbingly good.

Erica has been told, right?

She was notified yesterday.

And what was the reaction?

When you meet with her, I
suggest you pick a room

with very few throwable objects.

And... maybe wear a helmet.

You came back flustered,
but sunny and unencumbered.

And now you share
the haunted, fearful look

so common in these hallways.

So... uh...

when did you guys hear
about this Erica decision?

About two hours after
the Hamilton decision.

Hamilton's gone too?

Hamilton went quietly, humbly,

and at first, it really seemed that
Erica was going to follow suit.

And then Eric came out and...

This isn't really an ending.

No.

It's actually a beginning.

Or is it just another chapter

in the book of Smart Woman
Burns while Stupid Man Rises,

like every other chapter in my career,

like every other chapter
in the world at large?!

Come on, let's... let's
not politicise this.

And then she basically broke
down Jeremy's office door.

Our guiding key words are 'raw',
'rapacious', 'reckless'...

Is this reckless... enough for you?!

Is this RAW... enough for you?!

Aaaagh!

DALE: And now, here you are.

And we've just had confirmation.

Erica will be coming in
at am Friday to discuss

the on-camera fond farewell/
emotional tribute/all of the feels.

My thoughts are with you.

WOMAN: Babe!

- Aah!
- Hey.

Sim...

Sim.

I'm gonna need to hold onto you
for, like, the next hours.

Mm-hm.

You can just go about your
business and... I'll be attached.

- Okay?
- Okay.

(CHEERING)

Vincentus Merudinus Maximus.

How are you, Lil?

- Good.
- Hey, Lil.

- Hi.
- Mmmwah!

And this is Yvonne.

Hi!

I can't tell you how great
it is to finally meet you.

Oh!

You too.

I've just always felt
like without meeting you,

there's been a missing piece.

Oh, really?

Is that missing piece
a lot of nachos-eating

and a maddening habit for indecision.

SIMONE: Yoo!

- PETE: Hey.
- SIMONE: Oh, hey.

Hi.

Uh, it's... a party now?

Well, I just knew you'd want
everyone here tonight, Lil.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Oh...
- Oh...

No, that's... She's the main attraction.

- This is Nish...
- Hello!

Wow!

She's so big.

Oh, yeah, no. She's a... She's
a big fatty now. (LAUGHS)

Um, is Mum coming tonight?

ANTHONY: Can we have some wine?

Hi. Red wine?

Would red wine do the
trick for everyone?

Red. Let's go red.

(WHISPERS) Hey?

Is Mum totally avoiding Yvonne?

Like the plague.

(CLEARS THROAT)

- So...
- So...

How are you?

Yeah, good. Great. Yeah, really good.

- You?
- Yeah... Uh...

Bit of an exhausting day, but...

- How's Meredith?
- Yeah, she's... she's awesome.

She's such an amazing mum, you know...

And, uh... and Jack?

He's... so good.

He's just made over a
hotel-restaurant over there

and it's k*lling it.

Oh, wow. That's awesome.

Uh, how's the writing?

Really good, yeah. I actually, um...

I just finished a book.

That is... fantastic!
I'd love to read it.

- I'll print you a copy.
- Yeah, awesome, fantastic.

I'd like to read it too.

I'd just like to
announce, at this point,

that I'm at a complete
average level of happiness.

SIMONE: Yeah, and, um,
I would like to add

that, um, I have happy moments,

but then, sometimes, life
presses down on me...

- Yeah.
- like a dark wave on my ribcage.

Sorry.

You guys are being ridiculous. Stop it.

- (CLINKING)
- Oh, God, here we go.

Nah, nah-nah-nah-nah-nah. Come on.

Look, I just want to
take just a brief moment

to tell our Lil

how greatly we've missed
you, darl, we really have.

And...

- Are we doing this?
- Yep.

We have something to annou...
Well, not so much announce.

- It's more of a...
- YVONNE: Discuss.

You know, just something to discuss.

So, a few weeks back,

I might have...

proposed to Yvonne.

- My God!
- Really?

Yvonne said...

maybe.

No! I did... I didn't. I said...

I said I couldn't possibly accept
until I'd met both your children

and they gave us their blessing.

Oh!

I've never...

been asked to give
my blessing... before.

Uh... it...

- Congratulations. Of course.
- Yeah. Fly free.

- Fly... fly together.
- Yes.

Get hitched. That's...

Yay!

Thank you. I appreciate that, darling.

Um...

Wow.

This is... it's a whirlwind.

I know. I know.

You find something like this at my age

and it is...

it's amazing.

Have you... set a date?

No, we're... we're thinking
of something kind of small,

you know, intimate.

Lil... you're gonna love her.

She's... she's a free spirit.

She's a lot like you.

Is that... what I am?

Yeah, you are. You're a free spirit.

Is that why Mum didn't come tonight?

I haven't... told your
mother at... this time.

So, how are you imagining
she would find out?

(SIGHS)

It's like he has some
kind of special gift

to be so completely brash

and, yet, so completely
gutless at the same time!

I understand you being angry.

(SCOFFS) I'm not angry!

No, I'm...

Good on him, I say! Good on him!

I mean, I'd do exactly the same thing

if I wasn't so concerned about
looking absolutely ridiculous

in front of every living
person I'd ever met!

Oh, God!

Am I invited?

They haven't... set a date yet.

But would you really want to come?

Oh, yes!

I would come!

And I would give her a bottle of Grange

and I'd give him a...

bottle of antacid.

Wouldn't miss it.

(SIGHS)

You're taking this really well.

Thank you, darling.

(LAUGHS)

Aw...

- I've missed you.
- Mm. You too.

Yeah, I miss being
curled up on this couch.

You know, your father
and I slept together

at the beginning of last year,

right here, on this couch?

Hmm!

No.

Well, we did.

(LAUGHING) It was absolutely...

terrible!

Oh, darling, darling, darling.

Welcome home.

If I ever question your wisdom again,

just... just bring up this example.

Say, "Hey, remember when you were
sure everything would be fine

"and then Erica got fired and
your dad imploded the family?"

I'm not quite sure it's
cause and effect, Lil.

I'm pretty sure all that
stuff would have happened

even if you never got on the plane.

Yeah, but I wouldn't have
been on the front line.

That's a crucial difference!

Anyway, what should I
do with this phone?

Can you express-post it
to the production office?

Yep.

You want to hear these messages now?

(SIGHS)

Yep. Go.

PHONE: You have two new messages.

(BEEP!)

Hi, Lily. My name's Jeremy Guerin.

I believe we are going to be working
together at The Breakfast Bar.

- Oh, God. Delete it.
- I've heard many, many good things about you.

- All true, I assume.
- Delete it. Delete it.

PHONE: Message deleted.

PETE: Hey, it's me, um, as in Pete,

in case you've forgotten
what I sound like.

Yeah, uh, I probably don't
need to hear this one.

I know you're without your phone,

but I also know that no
force on heaven or earth...

LILY: Delete it. Really,
just delete that one.

...can keep you separated from it
for more than minutes, so, um...

Your dad texted me

and asked me to, um...

- Next one.
- dinner with you guys and...

I just thought, you know,
should we meet up first

and have a chat about the...

let's just call it the
conversation we had...

- LILY: Okay. Yeah, No, no. Good to go.
- before you left.

- Really, really, just...
- Not that it's an active issue.

- delete it.
- It's not. It's firmly in the past.

PHONE: Message deleted.

You have no new messages.

LILY: That's an old message.

I saw Pete tonight, so... covered that.

I probably shouldn't ask, but...

We had a fight the last
time we saw each other.

Before you and I left.

- About what?
- I...

can't... really remember.

I think he was just judging
my life choices... as always.

Your choice to live with me?

No... No, no! No, no, no.

Look, whatever it was, I saw
him tonight and we're good.

Right.

I think... I think she'll
be really receptive

to some of the ideas,

especially getting everyone to share
their essential Erica moments.

You know? I think...

I can't do this. Can't do this,
can't do this, can't do this.

Erica... hi.

Lily.

Firstly, are...

are you okay?

Do I look... okay?

See, if... if okay was... here,

I... I'd be...

I'd be all the way over here!

Not okay!

I might just get you some... water.

Let's just... Why don't we just
talk about what's happened?

Oh, let me tell you what
happened. See, two things.

First of all, I aged.
Like a human being!

And then I asked for equal pay!

Right. I was... I was not aware
that the pay was a factor.

My agent quite rightly said,

"Hey, she's been on the
show for longer than Eric.

"About time she got equal pay."

(LAUGHS) And do you know what they did?

You know what their response was?

They boned me.

Well, that's... certainly
a serious accusation.

When I heard that you
were coming back to...

to produce my... goodbye episode,

I thought, "No, no,
no, no, not... not Lily.

"Not Lily.

"She wouldn't."

Erica... I'm hearing you.

Okay? And...

I understand you feel bad.

But...

there's nothing you can do.

One conversation. Right? Just...

- (BANG!)
- Ow.

...give me one conversation.

(KNOCK AT DOOR)

Eric?

Eric?

Lily, hi!

Oh... no.

No, no, no. Hang on
a sec. Hang on a sec.

(TOILET FLUSHES)

Hang on. Hang on.

(SPRAYS)

Oh!

Oh, my God!

Have a look at you!

Hands where you can see 'em.

I'm kidding. I'm so kidding.

Not really. No, I am. I'm kidding.

Just a little gag. A flashback,
as we say in the business.

Come here! (LAUGHS)

- How the hell are you?!
- I am good... Eric.

I'm good, but how...? Hey, how are you?

Such a difficult time.

- Huh?
- With Erica going.

Yes. Yes, it's, um...

It's an adjustment, definitely.

Yeah.

All those magic Eric qualities...

- Well!
- Your rascal humour and your charm.

It was really... it was
the contrast with Erica

that sent them through
the roof, wasn't it?

Well, it... it...

Sometimes.

I guess. It...

Lily, here's the thing.

You see...

I am what you call...

a generator of chemistry.

Right.

And some of the names we've
been putting out there

for the replacement host...

Jennifer Hawkins.

Sam Frost.

- Wow.
- Yes!

Wait for it.

Miranda Kerr. (POPS TONGUE)

So, you are comfortable
with a younger host?

Yes! I'm all for it! Young is good.

Young ladies...

are really good.

- (LAUGHS)
- That's...

brave.

Really brave.

Because, I mean, with Erica,

she was in that perfect
age window, wasn't she?

Whereas with a younger host,

you're gonna be a bit more
like a father figure.

I'm leaving the office for half an hour.

What?!

We have to brief Jeremy
by the end of the day.

I predict by the time I get back,
the landscape will have changed

very significantly.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Thanks for emailing.

No. Thank you for... coming.

I thought last night was...

just a bit weird.

- Sorry about that.
- No, no, it's not your fault.

It took a lot of pillars to build
that particular house of weirdness.

Mm-hm.

Uh... I, um...

I made you a copy of this.

I wasn't sure if you were
serious. Uh, no pressure.

Life is Not a Love Song:

Interviews with Musicians
and their Muses.

Wow.

I didn't think you believed in muses...

or love, for that matter.

- What?
- Sor... sorry.

No, that was a...

terrible attempt at a joke.

That was...

Pete...

about...

that big conversation that we had,

or... run-in or...

I don't know what to call it.

You're gonna go there?

You left a message...

on my phone yesterday about it.

Oh...

Yeah, I wasn't... sure you'd heard it.

Because Jack played it to me.

- Oh...
- Yeah.

He has my phone and he played
it to me last night on speaker.

Okay.

I tried to yell over the top of it

and I don't think he's gonna go
back and listen to the whole thing,

but I have to ask, what did you...

say?

Uh, hardly anything.

Okay.

I mean, you know, I didn't
say, "Oh, hey, Lil,

"remember that time I...
declared my love to you

"and you didn't contact
me for six months?"

I didn't... say that, so...

- Sorry.
- You didn't contact me either...

I kind of assumed since I
was the declarer of love,

that the ball was in your court.

Well, what was I supposed to do?

I was going away with Jack.

You... you'd had a baby with
your gorgeous... girlfriend.

- She's not...
- And...

anymore, my girlfriend, Meredith.

We... we co-parent but we're
not together, romantically, so...

I...

I'm sor... I didn't know that...

Not that it's... relevant, anyway.

Look, when you didn't
contact me for so long,

I kind of assumed we'd crashed
and b*rned as friends, but...

then, when I heard you were back,

I thought, "Maybe it's worth a try.

"Maybe when we see each other,
it'll somehow be cool again."

I don't know. Maybe I was right
the first time. I should go.

ALICE: Oh, my God! Do not ever leave
here without your phone again.

Like, ever!

- Jeremy wants to see you immediately.
- Why? What's happened?

Eric's quit the show.

Are you kidding?

There was a very noisy power meeting
and he tendered his resignation.

It's the apocalypse. For real.

(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

There's no way! You're
an idiot. Seriously.

- I think that's inappropriate...
- ...The guy's an idiot.

- You wanted to see me?
- Shut the door, please.

Where have you been?

I slipped out for some lunch.

- Why didn't you answer your...
- I don't have a phone.

Actually, I'm not interested.
Here's a quick update for you.

Since you worked your Lily magic,

Eric has gone into a
complete tailspin and he's quit.

So, as of right now, we have zero hosts.

- Erica will come back.
- We don't have a show without Eric.

I think we do. Erica's
competent, she's intelligent...

Eric brings in three times
the sponsorship dollars.

The show is financially
unviable without Eric.

I had my reservations
about bringing you back.

I mean, you did Kn*fe
me, then stole my job.

Only stayed a month before
absconding with the star talent

and sending the show down the toilet.

But he campaigned for you.

He said, "No, we've only got
four weeks to save the show.

"We need talent. And she's got talent."

Turns out didn't take four weeks
to k*ll the show, it just took you.

Look, I know technically we owe you
a premium economy return flight...

but I think it would be
pretty undignified to claim it.

- Oh, my God!
- Are you okay?

ALICE: If you need to cry, just cry.

Just tell us what you need.

Can... I... borrow... a phone, please?

Mum?

♪ I must have been pretty low ♪

♪ I must have been desp... pretty low ♪

♪ I must have been pretty low... ♪

That's tasty.

(PHONE RINGS)

Simmy?

Hey... No, no. It's not Sim.
It's me. Please don't hang up.

Uh... where are you?

I'm at our karaoke place.

I'm with Simone and Mum and Vincent.

I've obliterated The Ble... B-Breakfast
Bar and I've destroyed my career.

- Sorry?
- Yeah.

It's bad. Yeah. Yeah.

Um... it's really...
it's really bad, Pete.

But that's, um... that's
not why I'm calling.

♪ I must have been pretty slow ♪

♪ I must have been desperate... ♪

I'm calling because...

I can't stop thinking about
what happened today.

I'm really sorry.

What you said to me before I left,

it's not that it didn't mean anything...

You don't have to say...

it meant too much.

Look, this is has been the worst
day of my life, pretty much,

and I'm only sure of two things,

one...

I'm probably gonna fly back tomorrow,

and...

it feels...

really wrong not doing karaoke with you.

(MEREDITH CLICKS TONGUE)

(INTRO TO 'WHAT ABOUT ME?' PLAYS)

Well, this one goes out to a special
little lady, Miss Lily Woodward.

The world might have
knocked her down today,

but she's street smart,
she's country strong,

and, Lil, this one's for you.

Go, Mum.

♪ Well, there's a little girl ♪

♪ Standing on the corner
of the counter shop... ♪

No, no. Not quite right.

♪ She's been waiting down there ♪

♪ Waiting half the day ♪

♪ They never ever see her from the top ♪

♪ She's been... ♪

♪ Pushed around, knocked to the ground ♪

♪ But she gets to her feet ♪

BOTH: ♪ And she says ♪

♪ What about me? ♪

Is Pete coming?

♪ I've had enough and I want... ♪

You'll note that I haven't
asked what's going on there.

But don't think that I don't
know that something's up.

♪ You just take more... ♪

Ever since you left, Pete's been,
like, a really irritable nerd

and I blame you.

So...

What's going on with you and Vincent?

♪ Waiting for a dream... ♪

You know, the words are there.

♪ Well, she's not too proud ♪

♪ To cry out loud ♪

♪ She runs to the street ♪

♪ And she says... ♪

Um... flatmates.

♪ What about me? ♪

♪ It isn't fair ♪

What? Like, I love him.
Of course I love him.

Just like a second-best friend.

Also, it's me, and I don't
do relationships anymore.

So...

♪ Take more than you give ♪

♪ More than I give... ♪

- Hey!
- Oh, my God!

Oh!

- (LAUGHS)
- Oh!

Turns out you can't
mail lithium batteries,

so I decided to deliver in person.

Oh, my... Jack!

You're here.

MIMI AND SIMONE:
♪ But I was born to try ♪

♪ I've learned to love ♪

♪ Be understanding ♪

- ♪ And believe in life... ♪
- PETE: Hey. Where's Lil?

Pete!

- ♪ But you gotta make choices... ♪
- Lily?

♪ Be wrong or right... ♪

And you wanna know the worst bit?

What's the worst bit?

The worst bit is that I thought
coming back, I was gonna be, like...

the... the fighter pilot.

What's the...?

- Top g*n.
- T-top... the top g*n.

Yes. Back to save everything.

Instead, I'm just the...

annoying, wisecracking side
character that gets sh*t down.

I'm Goose.

There's a conversation
coming on, isn't there?

There probably is.

But not tonight.

Why not?

After this many margaritas...

you know you'll get the truth.

I wouldn't always get the truth?

That thing with Pete...

before I left.

He came over...

and he made this big speech...

and he said he thought...

I shouldn't go away with you.

I was making a big mistake.

That I'd regret giving up my career.

Was he right?

No. No. No, I don't...

I don't know.

'Cause you seem a lot more upset
about this Breakfast Bar drama

than you were when your
doco got rejected.

That... that was me
sh**ting myself in the foot.

This is me sh**ting all
my friends in the face.

Lil, I know you.

You never say die.

You conned me into a television career

even though I said no about times.

You just kept coming up
with more arguments.

I'm officially out of arguments.

I don't believe that for a second.

- Have you been drinking?
- Yes!

And singing Meat Loaf's greatest hits.

Erica...

I'm sorry.

I can't save your job.

I'm really sorry.

I've tried, but I can't.

There are two paths from here.

You can lash out at the show...

get out all your revenge
and it'll feel good, but...

your TV career will be over.

- I don't care about TV.
- Really?

I think you do.

You owe it to yourself to
keep your career alive

and the way... the way to do that
is to nail this goodbye episode.

Now, I will give you five
minutes to the audience direct.

You'll be thoughtful,
you'll be dignified...

you'll be inspirational...

and every TV network will be
falling over themselves to hire you.

Right. I think you should go
through to make-up straightaway.

- Lily!
- Hi.

I need to speak to Sasha immediately.

- Do you know where she is?
- Sasha's here.

JEREMY: Sorry, what's going on?

Um... okay. Go through to make-up.

I'm here and I've been up since :
trying to piece together a show

with the weekend weather girl.

Erica is about to announce her
goodbye and Eric is about to arrive.

- Where is he, then?
- Have you been drinking?

When I told him that Erica was going
to claim her departure on air,

he was only more than
happy to participate.

We already have an alternative plan,
and frankly, I think it's really...

I'm feeling very confident that
I could deliver this episode.

Okay, people!

Let's make history.

You realise this is your absolute,
%, final last chance?

(BURPS)

I mean, it's... been an extremely
trying hours, certainly.

Mm. Can't imagine your pain.

PRODUCER: Here we go. seconds.

Nine, eight, seven, six...

♪ On a screen ♪

♪ And you're living the dream ♪

♪ Na-Na-Na, Na-Na-Na-Na,
Na, Na, Na, Na... ♪

Well, good morning.

Good morning, everyone.
Welcome to The Breakfast Bar.

And we have got a fantastic
show for you today,

but before we roll into
the fun and frivolity,

I'd like to begin by making a
little bit of an announcement.

Today will be my final day
on The Breakfast Bar.

Oh, guys, how about it?

- Hmm?
- Oh.

(SCATTERED APPLAUSE)

- Wasn't gonna cry. Wasn't gonna cry.
- (BOTH CHUCKLE)

(LAUGHS) Uh, it's...

It's the end of a fantastic chapter,

but it's also the
beginning of a new one.

And I would like to take this
opportunity to thank you all...

to thank all of our loyal viewers

who have come on this journey with me.

Thank you.

And I'd like to also thank
this guy here, to my right.

- Oh, no.
- Eric Albrechtson.

Tight on Eric. Tight on Eric.

No, Eric, in your own inimitable
way, you have pushed me...

Eric, relax your face. You look
like you're having a prostate exam.

...pushed me to work twice as hard,

to be twice as smart,

twice as talented

and twice as qualified.

- And I'd like to thank you for that.
- You're welcome.

Very nice. Now...

On a final note, I'd just like to
say something to all the women.

The road will not be easy.

It won't be fun.

And it certainly won't be even.

And if you're a q*eer woman
or a woman of colour,

then that is twice as true.

And just when you think that
final destination is in sight...

(LAUGHS)

you're probably going to be overtaken

by a pair of testicles
with hair implants

because that is the state of the world.

That's how it is right now.

And I would like to say something
to the boys if I may...

- Oh, here we go. Boys...
- Um... should I cut to Eric?

Cut to him. Cut to him!

You will spend most of your adult
life apologising for being straight,

knowing that if only you were a
tree-hugging, bisexual Muslim,

you might actually command some respect.

You see, girls?

This is the kind of stupid argument

you will have to endure from people
who have had every opportunity...

Oh, that's because
the world is sexist.

..extended to them.

Not because you had the
wit of a young Letterman

- and the looks of a young Hasselhoff...
- Change is possible.

NIKKII: Oh, my God.
We've broken Twitter.

These same people...

If we stick together.
If we are united...

Jesus Christ.

Because you don't have the right to cry.

- Well, boys...
- ...with me, then...

We've done it!

- I ask you, please, right now...
- Boys, I feel you.

- Good to have you back, Lily.
- ...can change this world...

together!

And coming up now,

why don't we take a look back
at those magic Erica moments?

♪ Pages turning, lights are burning ♪

♪ See what you could not see ♪

♪ It's plain as the day ♪

♪ The night makes you pay ♪

♪ For what was hidden underneath ♪

♪ Longing to leave but begging to... ♪

- Is she down?
- Down.

Oh, my gosh.

♪ Make you stay ♪

Is this the greatest
triumph of your life?

Oh... almost certainly, yes.

(SIGHS)

- Tea?
- Oh, I'd love one, thanks.

♪ All that keeps us up at night... ♪

Yep. Okay. I'll get it.

♪ There is far to go now ♪

♪ Let's not waste a minute more ♪

♪ In denial ♪

♪ But I always thought ♪

♪ You knew yourself ♪

♪ Better than anyone ♪

♪ The season was lost ♪

♪ When you started listening ♪

♪ To everyone else ♪

♪ Casting this devil ♪

♪ I've got the mettle ♪

♪ The means to... ♪

She didn't actually say,
"You saved the entire show,"

but that was pretty
much the implication,

and, oh, my God, you should
have seen Eric's reaction.

- It was...
- Did he explode?

Mm. He was on the brink.

But then... I just fed
his ego a little bit.

I told him it'd be an iconic moment

and he was off minutes
later, getting a spray tan.

(LAUGHS)

So good. So, so good.

- (SIGHS)
- What is that? What? No.

Why are you shaking your head?

Are you thinking I'm
an appalling person?

No. I'm thinking you seem more alive
right now than you have for months.

It's just coffees and two
Red Bulls and the ice-cream.

I want you to promise me...

you'll never pretend to be
happy just for my sake.

Okay.

And I think we should
cancel our flights back.

I think we should stay.

♪ That our eyes will be open... ♪

I love you.

♪ That our eyes will be open... ♪

(CLEARS THROAT)

Me... me too! (LAUGHS)

I... Uh... I l...

It's a funny word to say, love.

It's... I'm trying to say it. So...

♪ There is far to go now ♪

♪ Let's not waste a minute more. ♪

Singing Lily I want to...

I always liked this song.

Make some great TV with you.

Absoloutly no way you are singing.

NARRATOR: In the work life,
Lily is prepared for anything.

Nikkii, just ask the question

Wooo.

She just dropped one
on the health Minister

It's okay, it's okay

NARRATOR: But in her love life?

Hey, I wanna show you something.

NARRATOR: Lily isn't prepared for this.

I want us to have a
proper home that's ours.

Three bedrooms...

- (GASPS)
- Will you think about it?