02x16 - Wombat Wuv

[bunniefuu]

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(ALARM RINGING)

(SLURPS)

(LIGHTSABERS HUMMING)

(expl*si*n)

(LOUD SNEEZE)

(SNEEZES)

(COUGHS)

(MOANS)

Oh, honey, how are you feeling?

Oh-oh, I-I...
I am perfectly miserable.

You poor thing!
Let me feel your head.

Ren, you are still burning up.

I know, I know,
but I have to get going.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

You are staying
right where you are.

Mom, I have to go to school.

No, you need to rest.

Mom, I can't miss school.
I haven't missed single day.

Do you see that empty
frame over there?

Well, that is for my award
for my perfect attendance record.

If I don't go, I'm not
going to get the award

and I'm not going to
be having a picture frame

with a little gold thing
on the side...

Ren, Ren, honey, you're babbling.
Okay, you're sick.

You are staying home

and you are staying in bed.

What am I supposed to do all day?

Well, you're going to rest
and you're going to feel better.

I have a great idea.

Why don't you watch
one of these great old musicals?

You love these.

(MUSIC PLAYS)

Aw, look.

(LOUD SNEEZING)

Don't worry, I'm on it!

(LOUD SNEEZING)

That was some sneeze, son.
Are you all right?

No, not really. I got a lot of, um...
a lot of phlegm.

You know... a lot of mucus.

So, I'm calling it, um...
uh, phlucus.

-Phlucus, huh?
-It's bad.

-Wow. Sorry to hear that.
-Yeah.

Dang it, I didn't really want to miss
Coach Tugnut's obstacle course test.

It was really important to me.
It's something I could excel...

(LOUD SNEEZE)

Sorry, Dad.
Sorry about that. Sorry.

There you go.

So, uh, am I burning up or what?

I don't know.

I'm just resting my hand
while I look for something.

-Here, let me tuck you in.
-You know what? I'm tucked in fine, Dad.

I'm tucked in fine.

Aha!

-No.
-Give me that!

-No.
-Give me that! Come on!

(THROUGH LOUDSPEAKER):
You're faking it!

Now get dressed for school.

Move! Move!

Hurry up! Come on!

Not that belt!

All right, let's go!

See you later, Dad.

-Okay, son.
-Yeah.

I'm ridin' the range in

I'm sittin' on my best pal
Named Curly

I sing to my horse

There something
Wrong with that...

(SNEEZES, COUGHS)

I've got to get that award.

(MUSIC ENDS)

Ren, you're late.

(COUGHS)

I know. I'm sorry, sir.

I felt a little sick this morning
but I think I'm okay now.

Well, grab yourself a tardy slip
and take a seat.

-I gotta do the morning announcements.
-Thank you.

(MUSIC STARTS)

(SINGING) Lawrence Junior High
Won't you lend me an ear?

I hope this PA system
Is loud and clear

Now, listen up, people
I got something to say

These are the morning announcements
For today

Be sure to check the lost and found
Between classes

There's a comb in there

And a pair
Of really thick glasses

Looks like somebody, hmm
Lost their pants

There's a full salami sandwich
And some complementary ants

Oh!

I hope you seventh graders
Got a lot of rest

Because today's
Your physical endurance test

Tugnut's wearing a crazy grin

Sixth period in the gym

-Let the pain begin
-Let the pain begin

That's all for this morning
Oh, did I mention

There's only one name
On the list for detention?

He's never been accused
Of overachieving

He's that goofy little troublemaker
Louis Stevens

-Who?
-Louis Stevens

-Oh!
-Now I'm leaving

Out

Well, Ren, what do you think?

That was interesting.

WEXLER: Well, thank you.

(LOUIS LAUGHING)
Oh, sorry, Ren.

So, Mom and Dad made you
come to school, too, huh?

(COUGHS) No. I begged them to let me go,
and I still had to sneak out.

Oh, really? I like that, Ren.

Twitty, take a note.

Every time I'm dealing with my parents,
do everything backwards.

It's called reverse psychology, actually.
It's very effective.

I don't want to psych anybody out.
I really like school.

I like school, too. Except for
the classrooms, teachers and tests.

Like Coach Tugnut's
physical endurance exam?

Yeah, exactly. Like that.
I'll never take that test.

How are you gonna get out of it?

(CLEARS THROAT)

Uh, well, right now I'm not
at liberty to say.

What does that mean?

Uh, that just means
he hasn't figured it out yet.

Louis, you better think fast
'cause the test is sixth period.

Oh, Connie, please, don't worry about it,
okay? I always find a way.

-(COUGHS)
-(JAZZY MUSIC PLAYING)

LOUIS: (SINGING)
I'm not strong

I'm not fast

When it comes to endurance
I just can't last

So I'll get out of gym
Like I have in the past

Like the time you wore
The huge full-body cast

I always find a way

-He always finds a way
-He always finds a way

No one can produce
An excellent excuse like you

What can I say?

He always finds a way

-A pathetic wheeze
-(WHEEZES)

-A powerful sneeze
-(SNEEZES)

The time you filled your ears up
With cottage cheese

And said it was because
Of my sweat allergies

That one got me
Out of gym with ease

I always find a way

-He always finds a way
-He always finds a way

He can easily create
Ways to abbreviate

-His gym period stay
-His gym period stay

-I always find a way
-He always finds a way

He always finds a way

But not today

(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

Oh, we should...

-Yeah, probably.
-Yeah, probably.

I'm having
the weirdest day, you guys.

I can't even wait till it's over

and I'm home in bed.

Yeah, well, I'll just be happy
when our science presentations are over.

Yeah. I know you're going
to win that science medal.

I hope so.
I've been dreaming about it

since the day I was born.

Well, you'll find out sixth period.

Why? What's happening
sixth period?

That's when our presentations
are due.

You're doing yours
on the space program, right?

I am?

Ren, that assignment counts
for half our grade.

You sure it's today?

Yeah.

Wait a minute.

She's kidding.

(LAUGHING) That's good.

(LAUGHING)

Hey, guys.

Ren, I think you should know

my science presentation
is so awesome.

Whoo! I can start polishing
that science medal now.

I doubt it, Larry.

Ren's going to kick
your butt as usual.

No, guys, I'm sorry, but...

I don't know if it's the fever but
I really, really don't remember

anything about this presentation.

Yeah, right, Ren, okay.

You've been working
on this thing for months.

Well forget about it, okay?

'Cause I'm not
letting my guard down.

RUBY:
Ren, you're serious?

You haven't done any research
on the space program?

No. I have to get to the library.

(POP ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

(SINGING)
What's the matter with Ren?

She's usually so responsible

Tell me, could it be possible
She's losing her touch?

-What's the matter with Ren?
-What's the matter with Ren?

She's usually so reliable

-But her flakiness is undeniable
-Sorry.

Oh, this is too much

-What's the matter with Ren?
-What's the matter with Ren?

-What's the matter with Ren?
-What's the matter with Ren?

The space assignment's
Something that she knew about

And it really isn't like her to forget

But instead of knowing about space
She is spacing out

Ironically, Ren's now a space cadet

Everybody's asking me again and again

So I'll tell you what's the matter
What's the matter with Ren

She's cracking under pressure
'Cause when it comes to science

Larry Beale is one of those
Academic giants

Finally, I'm gonna get
My chance to shine

'Cause that science medal
Is gonna be mine

She used to keep me down
But this is now, that was then

And that's what's the matter
What's the matter

With Ren

-What's the matter with Ren?
-My book bag.

-LARRY: What?
-She used to be so dependable

-I just told you
-She doesn't seem like our friend at all

What's happened to her?

What's the matter with Ren?

-She can't take the heat
-What's the matter with me?

-LARRY: She's smelling defeat
-What's the matter with me?

My victory will be sweet

What's the matter with me?

What's the matter with Ren?

(SIGHS)

Okay, find info
on the space program.

Find excuses
on how to get out of gym.

Come on, come on,
I don't have all day.

Come on, come on,
you adorable computer, please.

Work your magic.
There we go.

-(COMPUTER BEEPING)
-Did it. Did it.

-(BEEPS)
-I did that twice.

-(BEEPS)
-"Man first landed on the moon in ."

Okay, I already knew that.
What else you got?

COMPUTER:
Good-bye.

No! No, no, no, no,
not good-bye.

Don't say good-bye.
Please don't say good-bye to me.

Oh come on, I wouldn't even do that.
That's physically impossible.

-(YELLS)
-(YELLS)

-(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)
-STUDENTS: (SINGING) Sixth period

Sixth period

Sixth period

Sixth period is drawing near

To ruin my junior high career

That test run by Tugnut

It's gonna kick my butt

Oh, how you fill my heart with dread
Sixth period

STUDENTS: Sixth period

Sixth period

Sixth period

-I'll tell my college plans farewell
-Gee, we remember when

-When I hear that sixth-period bell
-We could rely on Ren

-I think I ate bad shrimp
-Stevens, don't be a wimp

Try and be a man instead

Sixth period

Sixth period
Sixth period

Sixth period

-Ren's presentation time has come
-Oh, I can't wait to see

-Oh, no, I'm gonna look so dumb
-What Ren's prepared for me

We hope we leave the gym
With all of our limbs

And of course
With all our heads

Steve, Ren's not in her bed

-We better find her
-Yeah, let's hustle

(DISCO MUSIC PLAYING)

Oh, I think I pulled a muscle

(DISCO MUSIC CONTINUES)

-Wow, these halls get so crowded
-ALL: Sixth period

Sixth period
Sixth period

Sixth period

Boys, it's been pointed out
that my little obstacle course here

is dangerous,
cruel and sadistic.

Also, that I personally...

am dangerous, cruel and sadistic.

So, I have decided...

to cancel sixth period.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

Just kidding.

I'm also funny.

I should add that.

(LAUGHING LOUDLY)

-Uh, Coach. Coach.
-What?

Um, I don't think Louis is gonna be able
to run the course today.

I'm afraid he's
suffering from green nose.

Green nose?

Yeah, the dreaded
green nose disease.

You know, first your nose
turns green and then...

Mommy, can I have
my buttercup?

You start shouting off these
stupid phrases, and you can't control it.

Well, that looks pretty bad.

-Yeah.
-I'd better twist it off.

No! you shouldn't do that, sir!

Because, uh, because, uh... it's...

it's, uh...
Whoa, look at that!

It's only paint.

Some of the guys probably did it
'cause I'm so popular in school, you know.

All right, enough nonsense.
Let's start the test.

Okay, boys, all you
need to do to pass gym

is complete the tire run...

...jump a little rope,
jog on the treadmill

and climb this rope.

That's it?

That doesn't seem bad.
That's nothing.

Oh, and, uh...

survive seconds
in the Cage of Doom.

(LAUGHS)

-(SOBS)
-(OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING)

Welcome, lads
Now I must enforce

Your participation
In the obstacle course

Designed by me
With no remorse

I'm the master of the gym

-(TWITTY GROANING)
-Master, I'm the master

-(GROANING)
-I'm the master of the gym

Faster

For the master's

-Patience has run thin
-Whoa!

This is a test
That you won't forget

You'll be soaking wet
With sweat

Hurry up or you will regret
Ending up like him

-(SCREAMING)
-Master, I'm the master

I'm the master of the gym

Move faster for the master

Or your future will be grim

How much more of this
are we gonna take?

I mean, there's of us
and one of him.

(SINGING)
You have lost your authority

This here is a mutiny

From now on
It is plain to see

We're the masters of the gym

Masters
We're the masters

-(SCREAMING)
-We're the masters of the gym

-(WHIMPERING)
-Move faster for the masters

Or your future's looking grim

Masters

-We're the masters
-(TREADMILL BEEPING)

-Now we're getting back at him
-(YELPING)

Masters
We're the masters

-(SOBBING) No!
-We're the masters of the gym

Stevens! Oh!

(LIQUIDS BUBBLING)

As you will see, by rearranging
a few of these measly molecules

I can actually turn this
revolting slab of liver

into...

(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)

(LAUGHS)

...into a delicious
slab of chocolate.

One for you.

Mmm... delicious!

-Yummy! Well done, Larry.
-I know.

You know, there's only one
thing standing between you

and this beautiful,
shiny science medal,

and that's Ren,
who's been longing for this

ever since she was about...

hmm, born.

Ren, you're up.

Good luck.

I'm toast.

Come on, you can't
let Larry Beale b*at you.

-Guys, I have nothing.
-You're smart. Make something up.

All I know about the space program

is that the guy went to the moon in .

Good enough.

-Go!
-Go!

Go.
(CHUCKLES)

(GIGGLES NERVOUSLY)

Well...

(SINGING)
We went to the moon in

Um...

Not , but a year later

We went to the moon in

That's when the astronauts
First walked inside a crater

-We went to the moon in
-(ALL VOCALIZING)

Not , but a year sooner

We went to the moon in

That's when they made a landing
That was lunar

STUDENTS:
We didn't go up to the sun or stars

We didn't go to Mercury or Mars

But we went to the moon
In

Not , but the year after

And once they got there
The astronauts felt fine

They smiled at each other
And there was laughter

We went to the moon in

Not , a year before
Uh-huh

The rocket that flew
Had a really neat design

When it took off,
The engines made a roar

(ROCKET ROARS)

We went to the moon in

The trip wasn't all that easy

And when we got there,
We were surprised to find

That it was solid
And it wasn't cheesy

ALL:
We went up to the M-double-O-N

We went up to the moon
Sing it again

We went to the moon in

Not , but a year sooner

We went to the moon in

That's when they made a landing

That... was...

Lunar

(MUSIC ENDS)

Ren, that was brilliant, inspiring,
and quite a toe-tapper.

Thank you, Ms. Lovelson.

No, wait a minute.

Okay, she didn't say anything except...

(SINGING) "We went to the moon."

I know, Larry. That's why Ren
is receiving a failing grade.

I'm failing?
I got an F?

(LAUGHS)

Well, what do you know, Ren?

(MUSIC RESUMES)

Ren got an F
That's got to be a first

I can't believe that
She messed up so badly

Ren got an F

This is my lucky day

I'm sorry that it
Had to end so sadly

ALL: Ren got an F

-Ren got an F
-Ha, ha!

Ren got an F

-Ren got an F
-Stop singing!

Stop singing!
No, just stop singing.

Stop singing.
Stop singing!

(SNEEZES)

(SNIFFLES)

Hey, Ren.
Feeling better?

Yeah, much.

Yeah, Ren, sorry you won't be getting
that attendance award.

As a matter of fact, we all
wanted to tell you how we feel.

-(MUSIC RESUMES)
-(SINGING) There'll be no award

You missed a day of school

You never should have gotten influenza

It's just an award

It doesn't mean a thing

I think that we should sing
Another stanza

It's just an award

It's just an award

It's just an award

-It's just an award
-(SCREAMS)

EILEEN: Ren, Ren!

Ren, honey, honey.
Are you okay?

Yeah.

I'm really awake, right?

Of course you are.
You just had a bad dream.

Hey, you know what?
Your fever's broken.

I do feel better.

Hey, I can go to school now.

No, no, no.
Sweetheart, no.

It's : in the afternoon.
You slept all day.

School's over.

There goes my award.

EILEEN: I'm sorry.

(SIGHS)

You know what? It's okay.
At least the pressure's off.

Well, good.
I'm glad you feel that way.

Now, I made you some soup,
and Louis is going to bring it up.

Oh, that's great.

(SINGING) I've got hot soup

Delicious chicken soup

(SCREAMS)

What?

What?

First, your nose turns
green and then...

Mommy, can I have
my buttercup?

Mommy, I'm now
allergic to dairy.

Mommy, can I have
my corn niblet cake?

...you start shouting off these
stupid phrases, and you can't control it.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)