02x24 - Volley Dad

[bunniefuu]

Oh, that was
a great evening.

Yeah.
Who knew you could dance?

Nobody. It was
a surprise to me, too.

♪ ooh, ooh ♪

[giggles]

Ok, shh.

[mouths word]

[whispering]
I don't wanna wake 'em up.

Ok.

Hahh!
Ohh!

Carey marie martin,
do you know
what time it is?

I believe we agreed that
you'd be home by : .

Boy, your parents
are strict.

Yeah. Well, I believe
we also agreed that you'd
be in bed by : .

Who could sleep
with the worry?

My bad, guys.
Sorry.

Just see that it
doesn't happen again.

We're watching you.

So am I.

Ok, gross.

Heh. Harvey, thank you
for getting her home safely.

Good night.

Oh.
Uh...

Well, I guess
I'll talk to you
tomorrow, then.

Sounds good.
Yes, yes,
yes, yes, yes.

As for you,
young lady,

You're gonna go
straight to your room.

This is my room.

Well, then, you will
stay right here,

And we will go
straight to our room.

Humph.
Humph.

♪ here I am in your life ♪

♪ here you are in mine ♪

♪ yes, we have a suite life ♪

♪ most of the time ♪

♪ you and me,
we got the world to see ♪

♪ so come on down ♪

♪ just me and you
know what to do ♪

♪ so come on down ♪

♪ it's you and me
and me and you ♪

♪ we got the whole place
to ourselves ♪

you and me,
we got it all for free

so come on down

♪ this is the suite life ♪

♪ we've got a suite life ♪

Captioning made possible by
abc cable networks group

[whistle blows]

No, no, no!
No, no! Girls! Girls!

When you spike the ball,
aim for the gut.

I don't know.

You can feel guilty
about it later.

Oh. Right.
Spike, then guilt.

I got it.

Eww.

Ooh.

Hi.

I'm london.

I know.

You almost ran me over
with your limo.

I did?
Uh, maybe this will
jog your memory.

Oh, yeah. Heh heh.

Oh, no. Please tell me

London doesn't want to be
on our team.

[scoffs] london doesn't
wanna be on our team.

Really?

I have no idea.

I just like people
to be happy.

Good news.

London is joining
our volleyball team.

I must have missed
the good news part.

Girls, one of the greatest
gifts you can give is
the gift of inclusion.

[gruff]
so include her.

Yes, sister.

London, show us
what you've got.

Ok. I bought this
at gold galore

And this
at diamond galore and
this at galore galore.

[peppy]
great great!

Come on, men.
Let's put limo girl
through her paces.

London, you serve.

Oh! Sis.

Ow!

[whiny] sister rose,
maddie was in my way.

[whiny] not if you
hit it over the net.

You're nuts.

[gasps]

Madeline, that is no way
to talk to a customer.

I apologize, sir.

You know
the youth today--
very angry.

Your macadamia nuts.

I knew that.

This is harvey.
He's dating carey.

Splendid.

Oh, harvey, do I
hear wedding bells
on the horizon?

Well, I--
oh, how I will miss
those little tykes.

You are planning
on taking them away?

Because
I can't miss them
if they're still here.

Let's not jump
to conclusions.

Ohh, why not?
Jumping is fun.

Ha ha ha ha!

Yes, jump with me,
harvey.

Jump.
Heh heh heh heh.

I would, but I don't
wanna look foolish.

Uh, ahem.
Of course not.

Ohh! I think
I've frightened him.

Actually, sir,
hmm?

You frighten all of us.

Good.

Hey, maddie.

Hey, guys. You just
missed harvey.

Seems like he and
your mom are getting
pretty serious.

I am so happy for mom.

I don't think
harvey's right for mom.

And you're just happy
because he's rich.

[sputtering, gasping]

N-no. I--I think he is
a kind, caring man,

Who happens
to have a mansion
with bathrooms.

We could all go
at once and still have
one toilet left over.

[whistle blows]
timeout!

I hate this.
We're getting creamed again.

Girls,
you represent our lady
of perpetual sorrow,

So no sad faces!

London.

What?! Is the game over?
Can I go shopping now?

No. Get in the game.

Are you sure that's
such a good idea?

It's like my dear friend
rabbi nemitz says.

[yiddish accent]
"it can't hurt."

London, put down
that phone unless you are
talking to the president.

Actually, it's my hairdresser,

And he's much harder
to get ahold of.

[tweet]

[blowing whistle]

So you're london tipton?

Heh. Why, yes, I am.

No pictures, please.

No problem. I've just
always wanted to meet

The dumbest
heiress in boston.
[clucks tongue]

What'd you say?

[slow]
was I speaking too fast?

[whistle blows]

[whistle blows]

[slow]
did I hit it too hard?

P.A.: Game point.
[whistle blows]

My ball.

[whistle blows,
horn blows]

[all yelling]

London, you did it!

London, that was
miraculous.

What has gotten
into you?

You can make me
fly coach,

You can make me eat
day-old lobster,

But call me dumb,
and you'll
fell my rash!

You mean wrath.
That, too.

Look out!

It's not my fault
we have a refrigerator

The size of r -d .

Well, when mom
marries harvey,

We'll each have our own
personal refrigerators.

I think I'll name mine...

Dolores.

Whoa, whoa, whoa there.

Let's grab ahold
of reality and take it
for a ride, shall we?

Mom is not going
to marry harvey.

And how do you know?

[banging on door]

I've set some wheels
in motion.

Cody, I got
your call.

What's the emergency,
and who's hurt?

It's mom.
What's wrong with her?

She's
getting serious
about this guy,

And I need you
to stop it.

That's the emergency?

I took a bus, planes,
and a roller coaster
to get here.

A roller coaster?

Aw, there was a layover,

And the airport was near
an amusement park.

loops, upside down,
then it goes backwards!

Whoo!
I am still dizzy! Huh?

Aw, sweet!

Dad, focus.

This guy is
all wrong for mom.

He's a lawyer
named harvey.

A lawyer?

Wow. I always thought mom
would end up with
the artistic type,

You know, funny,
free-spirited,

Incredibly handsome.
Heh heh. Like me.

Oh, yeah, 'cause that
worked out so well
the first time.

Kurt. What are
you doing here?

Uh...

Uh, can't a man
visit his children?

Sure, if that man
calls first.

Look, I'm sorry.
I don't mean
to sound rude,

But my boy--
ish friend

Is coming over
for dinner soon.

Great. What are we having?

Apparently
chicken breasts
on plates.

[whistle blows]

Huddle up, men!

Ok, we are gonna
stomp these losers
right into the ground.

Let us pray.

Lord, please help us
stomp these losers
into the ground. Amen.

Amen.
Amen.

, , , break!

[squeals]
hey, babe,

This is for you.

[gasps] thanks.

"dear london,
wanna have dinner?

Ox, ox, ox."

No, actually,
those are os and xs.

You know,
like hugs and kisses.

Oh!

Oxs to you, too,
sweetie.

[whistle blows]

London, what is wrong?

I'm in love.
What could be wrong?

Letting the ball
go right past you.

[whistle blows]

London, heads up!

[whistle blows]

You're not supposed
to catch it.

I forgot. Silly me.

[grunts]

Carey: Want some coffee, honey?

Yes.
Yes.

Ok. Coffee for two.

So, uh, partner
in a law firm.

You must be
a workaholic.

You know, no time
for family or fun.

It's just work, work, work.

No. I never work
on the weekends.

That's when
I take the yacht out.

Yacht?

Ehh, is that like
a really big boat?

How many bathrooms?

You know,
I spent a weekend
on a yacht once

Till the owner
came by and
chased me off.

That was you?

Ah. Ha ha ha.

[nervous laugh]
you know, it's funny.

You know, at first,
I was worried that
having my ex-husband

And my current boyfriend
in a room together

Would make me nervous,
but I feel just fine.

How's that rash
that broke out during dessert?

The ointment helped.
Thanks.

Well, I should get going.

Listen, kurt, it was, uh,
really great to meet you...

You, too.

And I don't mean
to be forward,

But if you're ever
looking for a new label,

I represent
honcho records.

They would love
someone with your
kind of talent.

Oh, not forward at all.

In fact, I just might
have a cd in my back pocket.

Dad!
Not now, son.

Daddy's doing business.

Here it is.

Give it
to the head honcho himself.

I'll walk
you out, harvey.
Ok.

That's so that
they can kiss.

Heh heh heh heh heh.
And the rash is back.

See what I mean?

Are you going
to let mom marry that?

If she doesn't, I will.

I told you
he was great.

Try fabulous.
I gotta go
call my agent.

You guys are missing
the point.

Cody, relax.

I know your mom.
Trust me.

There is
no chemistry between
her and harvey.

Oh, like you're
always right.

Hello, mr. Moseby.

Ah, harvey.

[western] how's
the courtin' comin'?

[western] pretty darn good.
I think we're a-sparkin'

[ding]
ohh!

Yee-ha!

[western] can we got back
to our regular voices now?

[normal]
oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I saw a lovely ring
in the hotel jewelry store.

Are they still open?

Yes!
Yeah?

Ye-heh-heh-heh-es!

Oh, for you, for carey,
you know what?

I'll make sure they
stay open till midnight.

You know what,
harvey? Make sure
you use my name

And my hotel discount.

Oh, in fact, harvey,
take my wallet.

Ha ha ha!

Oh, happy day!

♪ ah dat dat dat
dat dat, dah ♪

♪ ah dat dat dat
dat dat, dah ♪

♪ ah dat dat dat
dat dat, hoo! ♪

♪ ah dat dat dat... ♪

Why is mr. Moseby
congaing in the lobby?

Can you guys
keep a secret?

Absolutely.
We swear.

Ok, I'm gonna
tell you anyway.

Just don't tell
your mother,

But harvey is going
to propose to her tonight.

No!

Yes!

Both: ♪ dat dat dat
dat dat, dah ♪

♪ ah dat dat dat
dat dat, dah ♪

♪ ah dat dat dat
dat dat-- ♪
[gasps]

Don't touch me.

♪ ah dat dat dat
dat dat, dah ♪

♪ ah dat dat dat
dat dat, hoo! ♪

♪ ah dat dat dat
dat dat... ♪

[sighs] we don't
stand a chance.

They're the best
team in the league.

What can we do?

We're never gonna win
unless we get london
mad again.

Thank you, joe.

I just thought
of the most scathingly
brilliant plan,

But it's kind of mean.

I love it already.

Ok, london is
incredibly jealous,

So if she sees joe
kissing another girl...

She'll get so mad.

And then we'll
win the game.

Ohh! I get it.
I get it.

Well, you know,
if someone's

Gotta kiss joe
for the good
of the team,

I'll make
the sacrifice.

Oh! Hey, my idea,
my lips.

Just make sure london
has a good view of us.

Ok.

I'm so excited.
Thank you.

Hey, there, london.

Coach wants you
to warm up.

Ok. I'll go get
my sweater.

Ok.

So, joe, things seem to
be going well with you two.

Yeah. We, uh--
we have a lot in--

Common.

[gasps]

Maddie, how could you?

I wasn't me. It was joe.
He's an animal.

[whistle blows]

[cheering]

Take that,
you lousy two-timer.

I got--

[cheering]

Visitor: Stay focused.

[cheering]

P.A.: Game point.

[blows whistle]

[horn blows]

[whistle blows]

Sister rose: Aah!
We won! We won it!

All right, all right,
but winning
isn't everything.

Just a heck of a lot
better than losing!

[cheering]

London, cheer up.
We won.

How can I cheer up
when joe doesn't
love me anymore?

The truth is
I kissed him.

I did it to make you
angry so we'd win.

You wanted to win so badly,
you were willing to hurt me?

When you
say it like that,
it sounds so...

Bad.

Well, how can you say it
to make it sound good?

[peppy] I wanted
to win so badly, I was
willing to hurt you.

[peppy]
well, congratulations.

It worked.

[piano playing]

Hi, honey.
Hi.

Sorry I'm a little--

Breadstick?

Late.

Uh, no, thanks.
Not right now.

Ok.

But you're
definitely gonna

Have a breadstick,
though, right?

Eventually. I just
wanna relax for a minute.

You know
what's relaxing?

Boy, chewin' on
a breadstick.

Oh! I-I'm sorry.

[line unreeling]

Rats.

Hey, cody.

Ohh!

What ya doin'?

Nothin'.

[piano music playing]

How did you find me?

You left a diagram.

Oh.

Look, cody,
I know you're having

A tough time with this,
all right,

But stealing the ring
isn't gonna stop mom

From marrying harvey
if she wants to.

I'm telling you, harvey is
not the right guy for mom.

Why?

Because he's...

Well, you know. He's...

You know.

You got a point there.

Ok, so he's perfect,

But let him go be perfect
with somebody else's mom.

We're doing just fine
on our own.

So this isn't
so much about him.

It's more about you.

You kind of like things
just the way they are.

Yeah, just mom,
zack, and me.

[coughs] and daddy.

Of course.

Look, buddy,
I understand
how you feel.

I'm--change is hard,

But it's
a part of life.

You know, your mom
spends her whole life
putting you guys first.

I know. I know.

So if--if she really
loves this guy and...

He makes her happy,
don't you think

Maybe it's time
to put her first?

I guess.

That's my boy.

Fine. Let's get
out of here.

Besides, it kind of stinks.

Sorry.

Ah. Am I too late?
Did she say yes?

I haven't
asked her yet.
Why not?

Because I put the ring
on the breadstick,

And she won't
have a breadstick.

You're not marrying
the breadstick.

You're marrying her.

So take the ring
off of the breadstick

And put it on her finger
like this.

Ooh, that's lovely.

Now--[grunts]

Ohoh.

What do you mean,
"ohoh"?

It's stuck.

How could it
be stuck?

Well, I have
a very slim figure,

But disproportionately
chubby fingers.

Just get some butter.

They never brought any.

[gasps] they didn't?!

Ohh! I have to talk
to the staff.

No, not now.
Here she comes.

Mr. Moseby,
what are you doing here?

Just here
to lend a hand.

Carey, there's, uh,
something I wanna give you.

You wanna give me
mr. Moseby?

No. I-it's the ring.

I love you, carey,
and...

Oh. Yes.

And I wanna
spend the rest
of my life with you.

Will you marry me?

I don't know
what to say.

Say yes! No matter
what cody says,

I want you
and harvey
to get married.

What are you
talking about?

Cody's not even here.

Mom, I need
to talk to you.

Cody, you're here.

And kurt.
Hi.

Ah. I guess we should've
gotten a bigger table.

Mom, I realize now
I was wrong

To say that
harvey wasn't
right for you.

You never told me that.

Well, I told
everyone else.

He did.
Yes.

We were up
in the vent, and
we were talking.

Anyway, if you
wanna marry harvey,

You have
my permission.

Thank you.
Zack: Yes!

Harvey, wonderful.
Congratulations.

Yes! Yes!

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa. Timeout.

There's just one
teensy-weensy detail.

I haven't answered yet.

Well, could you
hurry up?

'cause I was hoping
we'd honeymoon in fiji.

Fiji's nice.
[all talking]

Harvey.

This month we've
spent together has been
really wonderful.

Better
than the time

We drove
cross-country
in the van?

Harvey, you are
a sweet and funny--

Oh, oh! And don't
forget rich.

But this is too fast.

The truth is I'm just
not ready to get married
right now.

[whimpers]

[sobbing]

I'm really sorry, harvey.

Me, too.

Fellas, come on. It's ok.

We'll--we'll
get through this.

Well, I better go
return the ring.

Can I still use
your luxury box?

This doesn't affect
our record deal,
does it?

Harvey? Harvey?

I'm sorry
you were so upset.

I really appreciate you
giving me permission
to have a life.

I want you to know
that I would never marry anyone

Who wasn't ok
with you and zack.

[mr. Moseby weeping]

And mr. Moseby.

Maddie.

What are you
still doing here?

[sighs] waiting
for you to change.

What took you so long?

Hello. Gorgeous.

Hello. You.

Well, me is here
to apologize.

The victory wasn't
worth hurting you.

I'm really sorry.

[sighs] ok.

I forgive you.

Now I gotta go
make up with joe.

You are so lucky.

He is such
a great kisser.

Not that I
enjoyed it at all.