02x26 - Scary Movies

[bunniefuu]

[english accent]
that was a nasty fall.

Really nasty.

Please. I did that
on purpose.

Anyone can land
on their feet.

Thanks, norman.

You're sure
you aren't in pain?

I'm fine.

Too bad.

I was going
to kiss it and
make it better.

Ahh! Ahh!
Searing pain.

Oh, my poor baby!
Are you ok?

I'll kiss it and make
the boo-boo better.

I-I-I'm fine.
I'm fine.

Ok. Ok.

Well, you still wanna
go to the movie,

Movie buddies?

Yeah, about that...

You see, we met
jessica and janice
at the park,

And we thought
we'd go with them.

Great! We could all go,
just the of us.
It'll be fun.

Or--and I'm just
spitballin' here--

We could go,

Then give you
a vivid description
of what you missed.

Oh. I get it.

You wanna be grown-ups.

Ok. Don't worry.
You'll barely
know I'm there.

Busy street.
Hold mommy's hands.

♪ here I am in your life ♪

♪ here you are in mine ♪

♪ yes, we have a suite life ♪

♪ most of the time ♪

♪ you and me,
we got the world to see ♪

♪ so come on down ♪

♪ just me and you
know what to do ♪

♪ so come on down ♪

♪ it's you and me
and me and you ♪

♪ we got the whole place
to ourselves ♪

♪ you and me,
we got it all for free ♪

♪ so come on down ♪

♪ this is the suite life ♪

♪ we've got a suite life ♪

Captioning made possible by
abc cable networks group

I can't believe
I got detention again.

I can't believe
you landed your helicopter

On the front steps
of the school.

The downdraft
turned sister dominick
into an actual flying nun.

Oh, hey, brandon.

What's up, maddie?

You got the candy delivery?

Yeah, but, um,
the air conditioning

In the truck is broken,

So everything
sort of melted together.

Here's your order
of jelly beans.

Yeah.

He's hot,

With a capital hhhh.

I can't believe my boss
is a millionaire,

But he won't
spend a dime

To fix his own trucks.

Man, rich people can
be really obnoxious.

You're tellin' me.

I think they're
nomoxious, too.

You? But you're filthy--

Poor. Starvingly,
filthy poor.

Oh. Then, uh, maybe I
should take you out to dinner.

Here's my number.

Call soon, before
they shut off the phone.

I will.

Hah. So you're gonna
pretend to be poor.

I bet you will never
pull that off.

Bet I can.
Heh. You're on.

It'll be easy.

I'll just wear
bad clothes,

Ugly shoes,
and cheap makeup.

Like you. Heh.

[whistling]

Mom, have a seat.

Am I in trouble?

Yes.

Carey...

We know it's difficult
to make the transition

From doting mother
to aging cat lady.

But--
you're crampin'
our style, mom.

We're not kids anymore.

We want
a little more freedom.

Well, ok. Ok.
I get your point.
You're growin' up.

How about I let you
cut your own spaghetti?

Deal.
Please,

Will you let me
handle this?

We wanna go to the movies
at night

With our dates,
but without you.

But we're movie buddies.

We had some laughs,

But we all knew
this wouldn't
last forever.

Well, I can change.
I'll--

Please.

It n

Don't make this harder
than it has to be.

We can still
be friends.

I can't believe my kids
are breaking up with me.

Ok. Ok.

But I'm driving you there,

And I get to approve
the movie.

Deal.

What about that
spaghetti thing?

That's piggybacked
on to this, right?

Maddie, do I look poor?

Yes.

Except for
the diamond necklace.

But it's only carats.

Ok, fine.

Ohh!

"what is going on?"
he asked nervously

She has a date
with brandon,

So she's trying
to pass for poor.

Wait till she
finds out she has to
take the subway.

Oh. Heh.

The what?

The subway.

It's the train
that runs underground.

Oh, stop making up stuff
to scare me.

Oh, hey, london.
You ready to go?

Yes.

I am poor. Heh.
And ready.

Oh, don't even
worry about it.

The subway's on me.

It's real?

Ok. Now, you might
wanna buy a candy bar,
so here's another $ .

Thanks, mom.

Bye. Drive safe.

Why is she still here?

To remind you not to see
anything inappropriate,

Like b*llet sandwich
or zombie mom.

Fine, but when
you pick us up,
no hugging

And no calling us
"my little men."

Why don't you just
rip my heart out?

I think that's
how zombie mom ends.

Hi, girls.
I'm not here.

Just dropped off
my little men.

Oh, I'm sorry.
My bad.

Hi, zack. Hi, cody.

Hi, cody. Hi, zack.

Hello, ladies.

[both giggle]

We'll get the tickets.

You girls get the snacks.

Whatever you want,
it's on us.

Thank you.

American money
is so odd.

Yes, really odd.

And their queen
looks rather mannish.

Come on. I don't
want doggie come home
to sell out.

It got tails up.

We are not going
to some kiddie movie

With the hottest
girls in school.

If we see zombie mom,
they'll be so scared,

They'll be in our laps.

Oh. Good point.

Unfortunately mom
told us not to go
see a scary movie,

So we can't.

Oh. Well, mom's not here,
so we can.

I'd like tickets
to zombie mom, please.

Ie mom, huh?

How old are you?

Well, I don't know.
Why don't you ask
george washington?

There you go.
Enjoy the movie.

[suspenseful music playing]

[thunk]

[audience screams]

[musical jolt]

Ohh!

[audience screams]

I gotta say,
aah.

You were right about
going to see zombie mom.

Although I found
the story line thin

And the blood-drinking scene
gratuitous,

It scared the snot
out of janice,

And she held on to me
the whole time.

Yeah. Great flick.

I could tell
you liked it
by your screaming.

I was not screaming.
I was cheering.

Don't you turn out
that light!

Or what?

You'll "cheer" again.

I am not scared.

You see?

It's just a movie.

I know there are
no such thing as zombie moms.

Aah!
Aah!
Aah!

Aah!
Aah!
Aah!

Why are
we screaming?!

I just came in
to say good night!

Why is your face green,
and do you have a craving
for human flesh?

It's a face mask,
and do I have
a what for what?

Nothing.
He said nothing.

What's gotten you
so freaked out?

Did you two go to see
that scary movie?

No.
Absolutely not.

B-but doggie come home had
some very intense moments.

Like when that pigeon
divebombed doggie.

[shudders]

It's only a movie.

Now go to sleep.

That was close.

I'll say.

We pulled it off,
though.

I hope.

Now get out
of my bed, you goof.

[thud]

What in the world
is all of this--

Ohh! Oh, my word. Ohh.

[grunting]

Yaaah!

Ohh! It's a new time.

Who put all--
uhh. [sighs]

Who put all--

[snores]

Welcome to the tipton.

questions pop to mind.

Number one, why is
my night manager
asleep at his post?

And number ,
who barricaded the doors?

O-ok, obviously
I don't know the answer
to number

'cause of the whole
number one thing,

But, uh...

Uh, were we talking
about number
or number one?

Ok! [stammers]

Never mind.

Just help me
move this stuff, sparky.

[elevator dings]

Ohh. Good morning.

What are you doing up?
It's not even noon yet.

Well, I couldn't
wait to tell you that I
really like brandon,

And our date went great.

He never suspected
that I was rich.

I even dove to the ground
for a penny.

Did you know they're round?

I've heard rumors.

You know, being poor
isn't that tough.

I don't know why you're
always complaining about it.

Uh, because I don't
do it just for hours,

Then come home and soak
in a solid-gold tub.

The toilet is gold.

The bathtub
is platinum.

You can't keep this up.
Eventually he's gonna
find out you're rich.

Oh, we'll cross that bridge
when daddy buys it.

Oh. Hey,
what's up, london?

Wow. Fancy threads.

Um, these.

I, uh, made them

At the sweatshop,
where I work.

When I'm
not working here.

Wh-which I am
right now.

Oh, oh, so you're
both working today.

Heh.

No.
What?

Actually, I'm off
my shift right now.

It's all london's.

Ok.

Well, nice seein' ya. Bye.

Oh, no, I actually
have a lot more
stuff for you,

So I'm gonna
be in and out of here
for a while.

Isn't that great?

Yes. It is.

[knock on door]

Come in, mr. Clooney.

It's not mr. Clooney.
It's mr. Moseby.

Then go away.

I'm sorry
to disturb you,

But I need to see
your twin hooligans.

Hooligans, it's for you!

Mr. Moseby.

What a pleasant
surprise?

You did it.

No, we didn't.
We didn't do it.

What didn't we do?

Oh, you two know
what you two did do, do.

All right, when you
start babbling,

It's time for me to step in.
What's going on?

These two moved all
of the lobby furniture

And put it
in front of the doors.

I--no, we didn't.

Don't worry, mr. Moseby.

I'll find out
the truth.

Boys, did you do it?

No.
No.

Pinky swear?

Pinky swear.
Pinky swear.

There you have it.

Oh, that proves it.
Yeah.

Because in court,
you swear on a stack
of pinkies.

Moseby isn

Or afternoon.

I remember one evening
at : , he was kinda nice.

I can't believe
moseby accused us.

We weren't even
in the lobby last night.

[ding]

Did your butt
just ding?

Why is the bell
from the lobby in my bed?

Ooh. You did do it.

I did not. I--I was
in my bed all night.

I even remember
having this weird dream.

I was piling stuff
against the doors
to keep the zombies ou--

Ooh. I did do it.

Uh, but how did I do it?

You must have
been sleepwalking

Because the movie
freaked you out.

It did not freak me out.

Zombie!
Where?!

[din

Ok, maybe it freaked me out
a little bit.

This is bad.

If mom sees you
sleepwalking,

She'll realize we went
to that scary movie.

And she'll treat us like kids
until our kids have kids.

Ok, tonight,
we'll surround you
with noisy booby traps.

That way, if you
start sleepwalking,

You'll wake yourself up.
Oh, and one more thing.

What?
Zombie.
Where?!

That never gets old.

[punching keys
on the cash register]

Ohh!

I told you to stop that!

Ohh!

Oh, it's go time.

[whacking register]

London?

Uh...

Just, uh, changing
the tapey thing.

Stick around, brandon.

Next she's going to
wrastle the ice machine.

Ok, that's it.

Wha!

I have to get out of here.
I need a break.

Oh, cool, 'cause I've
got just the thing.

[gasping]
what is it?

A massage?
A hot-stone sauna?

No, no.
I have a coupon for
this great place I know.

Look, we can split
a burger.

It's minutes
by subway.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

I'm not taking the subway,
I'm not splitting a burger,

And I'm not paying
with a coupon,
whatever that is.

I wanna take my limo
to chez robert

And have the duck a l'orange
with truffles.

Yo, I don't think
I have a coupon
for that, though.

I don't need a coupon.

I'm gonna use
this little thing called money.

Brandon: Where are
you gonna get it?

I don't get it.
I got it. Get it?

I'm rich, stinkin' rich.

I have a stretch limo so long
it only goes straight.

If I wanna turn a corner,
I have to change limos.

Ok, so--so I'm gettin'
the sense that you're rich.

[mocking]
♪ I knew you
couldn't do it ♪

♪ I knew you
couldn't do it ♪

Why did you lie to me?

Because I liked you,

And you said
you hated rich people.

Yeah, when they're
pushy and mean,

But I mean,
you're wonderful,

So sweet,
and down-to-earth.

Ohh.

Ok, either london's
a much better actress
than I thought,

Or you're dumber
than a wheel of cheese.

Dang, maddie.

You're poor
and mean.

Let's leave her
in her bitterness.

Have you ever
gone swimming
in a limo?

Oh, no, but I would love to.

Oh, let's go.
Ok.

Oh, for all I care,
you could drown in that limo!

Like the lifeguard
would let that happen.

Oh. What's with
all the candy?

Looks like
a piñata threw up.

London just tried
to take my shift,

But she couldn't handle
being working class.

Which means I was right,
and she was wrong, so I win!

So you win! Ah!

Yes! Yay!

Oh, it is just wonderful,
madeline.

I'm so proud of you.

Here's your trophy.

[monotone]
must stop zombies.

Zombies. Must stop zombies.

Zombies.

[bubble wrap pops]

Bubble wrap.

[popping]

[laughs]

[monotone]
zombies.

Zombies. Must stop zombies.

Aha! I caught you
red-handed!

Ho ho! Ok, mister.

Let's have a little talk
about this, shall we?

Yes, you're the one
who's putting
all the furnit--

Wh-where are you going?

Whoa, whoa. Listen.
I want you to listen
to me, young man.

I don't want you putting
any more furnit--
what are you doing?

Where were you
when I moved out of
my parents' place?

Mm, zack.

Are you ok?

Zack.

Aah!

[yells]
[popping]

Ohh!

Cody?

Cody?
[yell]

Honey?

[bubble wrap popping]

Honey, are you ok?

Cody, what happened?

Uh, I was going
to save you airfare

And ship myself
to grandma's.

Where's zack?

And what's the bell
from the hotel lobby
doing in your room?

Sleeping. Shh.

It was zack who
messed up the lobby.

And you pinky swore!

Uhh!

Mom, wait! Come back!

Now, zack, stop it.

Yes. Stop zombies.

No. Stop redecorating.

Oh, carey, please,
control your son.

Zack. Zack.
[ding]

Wait! Unh!

Carey: Oh!

[grunts]

Wow. This stuff is great.

I didn't feel a thing.

[sighs]

Zack. Zackary,
what are you doing?

He's sleepwalking.

Oh ho. Sleepwalking.

You expect me
to believe that?

[shatters]
aah!

Sorry, zombie.

Zombie? What's going on?

Zombie?
Did he say, "zombie"?

No! He said...

Mombie, combie,
dombie, fombie, uh...

I got nothin'.

You went to see
zombie mom?

Pfft. No. What would
make you think that?

Must stop zombie mom.

Heh heh. Again,
I got nothin'.

Zack.

Zack, honey.

Zack.
Zack, wake up.

You can't wake him up.
I have tried everything.

Zack, I'm making
chocolate chip pancakes!

Cool! I'll have .

Hey, where am I?

Why am I in the lobby?
In my pajamas?

Although as
silly outfits go,
I come in second.

You were
sleepwalking,

Trying to protect
yourself from
zombie moms.

Well, that's odd,

Because we didn't see
that movie, right, cody?

It was zack's idea.

Thanks, man.

I can't believe
I gave you the freedom
that you asked for,

And then you abused it.

Well, I don't find it
hard to believe.

Well, first of all,
you are going to put back
all of this furniture,

And secondly,
you ever disobey me again,

You are going to wish
you had a zombie mom.

Remember that
with more freedom

Comes more
responsibility.

I'm sorry, mom.

Me, too.

Although one good thing
came out of this.

What?
Zombie!

Where?!

That just keeps
gettin' better.

[sentimental music playing]

[yawns]

Ahem.

Honey, got a butter
blob, uhh, right there.

Eww.

Man: Is that doggie?

[doggie barks]

By gum, it is.
Here, boy.

[arf arf]

[sniffles]

[doggie whimpers]

Look. Doggie came home.

Ohh.
Ohh.

[movie music
builds to ending]