04x31 - Back to Nature

[bunniefuu]

( whistling sprightly tune )

Starring Andy Griffith...

with Ronny Howard.

Also starring Don Knotts.

Well, I still say it's scratched.

You can't hardly see it.

Well, it's scratched.

Well, it's just a little scratch.

Yeah, but any way you look at it, it's scratched.

Uh, what's the matter, boys?

Ah, the car's scratched.

Gomer's got one of them new-styled gas nozzles.

You know, the kind

that shuts itself off a*t*matic

when the t*nk's full?

Don't have to have anybody there.

It scratches up your car.

How would that scratch your car?

Well, because, there ain't anybody watchin'.

And when it shuts itself off, it kind of jumps.

Now when I pay a man good money to fill my t*nk,

I want him back there fillin' it, not some gadget.

That's the same in barberin'.

They got those little electric machines now, you know,

where you just push a button

and it oozes out ready-made lather.

Oh, can you imagine that?

What's wrong with that, Floyd?

What's wrong?

I'd rather mix my own lather in a shaving mug.

I kind of like the sound the brush makes against the mug.

You know, it's a kind of a "klup, klup, klup," sound.

What's that got to do with what I was just talking about?

Well, just like you said, gadgets,

everything is gadgets.

Well, it ain't the same thing, Floyd.

I can understand an electric lather-maker.

But you're not a barber!

You don't know about mixing lather in a mug

with a brush and everything.

Oh, "klup..."

That's such a nice sound.

ANDY: Hi, there, Ope.

Hey, Ope, you walkin' in your sleep?

Oh, hi, Paw. I didn't hear ya.

I was just listening

to the baseball game on my transistor.

Hmm.

It's a fine thing when the only way

a father can speak to his son

is by buying a spot announcement on the radio.

( laughing ): Spot announ...

That's funny, Andy.

Listen, tell the boys

going camping with us tomorrow,

I want them to meet me here at : .

He struck 'em out!

Did you hear me?

Tell the boys going camping with us tomorrow

I want them to meet me at the courthouse at : .

Oh, okay, Paw.

Mm...

Easy livin', a*t*matic gas nozzles,

transistor radios...

Electric lather makers...

It ain't the same thing, Floyd.

Well, we'll get away from all that

when we go campin' tomorrow.

Besides, it comes out cold.

Those electric lather makers.

You know, they ooze out cold lather.

Now in a mug you can mix it with hot water.

You can make hot lather.

You don't like them electric ones,

do you, Floyd?

No, I don't. No. And you know why?

Yeah, we know why.

Because of the sound the brush makes in the mug.

Isn't that a nice sound?

"Klup, klup."

You know, you can see that scratch from here.

Now Fletcher Roberts will take us

as far as the Fire Road in his pickup truck,

and we can hike in from there.

Now boys, when we get there

we've all got to share in the responsibility.

Absolutely. We all got to share.

That's right.

Now I enjoy fun as much as the next fella

but we also have to observe the rules.

Let's watch them rules, boys.

Now let's stick close together

and enjoy this outing and have a lot of fun

while we're communicating with nature.

Thus ways both the sheriff and I

will be able to pass along to you

our skills as woodsmen in order that you in turn

can pass it along to your children

and your children's children.

Yeah. Well... Now you will be away

from the roaring traffic's boom

and you will learn to get along

by using good ol' pioneer moxie.

Live off the land.

Now what if all the electricity went off tomorrow?

Would you know what to do?

Would you, Howie?

Uh, put in a new fuse?

No, you wouldn't put in a new fuse.

But you can't put in an old fuse.

You wouldn't put in any fuses.

But you have to have fuses.

Look, we're not here to talk about fuses.

We are here... Barn, Barn, Barn...

I-I think the boys understand.

Okay, fellas, we'll see you tomorrow morning at : .

Run home and get ready now.

The important thing is...

The important thing is we're going to rough it

and it's going to be good for you!

Hey, Barney.

Hey, Gomer.

Hey, Andy.

Hey, Gomer.

I'm sorry I'm late for the meetin',

but I don't guess it matters

'cause I don't 'spect I'll be going along.

Why not?

Well, there's this movie on TV tomorrow night

with Preston Foster I want to see.

Now, wouldn't you know it?

Now, that's just exactly

what we're trying to get away from.

We need to get outdoors.

We're going to have a lot of fun, Gomer.

But I don't know thing one about pioneering.

We'll show you everything...

Fire making, trapping, the whole ball of wax.

You'll learn something, Gomer.

Well, that's what this Preston Foster's picture is about.

He's in this forest up there in the northwest

and I can learn from that.

Yeah, but you won't be gettin' anything out of it.

Preston Foster will be doin' all the learnin' for you!

Come with us, Gomer.

Preston Foster'll understand this one time.

Well, I don't know.

♪ There ain't no flies on us... ♪

♪ There may be flies... ♪

Okay, guys, this is it.

Right here.

Overlooking the lake.

Maybe get in a little swim before lunch.

Build our campfire right here.

That's it.

Spread out all around here.

Good place, good place.

Yeah.

Barn, what do you think of this place?

Oh, this is fine... I guess.

If I had my way, though

I'd like to go on another or miles.

I wouldn't.

No, we don't want to tire the young'uns.

They haven't learned to conserve their strength yet.

Hey, guys, let's get some firewood.

( boys all yelling at once )

( groans )

♪ John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt! ♪

♪ His name is my name, too ♪

♪ Whenever we go out ♪

♪ The people always shout ♪

♪ John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt ♪

♪ Tra-la-la-la-la-la ♪

( quietly ): ♪ John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt ♪

♪ His name is my name, too ♪

♪ Whenever we go out ♪

♪ The people always shout ♪

( shouting ): ♪ John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt! ♪

Yeah! That's the way to sing a song.

Hey, Paw, how about telling us a ghost story?

( all agreeing )

Come on, Andy, that's the fun of a campfire,

telling a ghost story.

GOMER: Barney's right... scary stories

are a lot of fun around a campfire.

That's the only time they're scary.

That's right.

( all agreeing )

Well, I don't know if your parents

would want me telling ghost stories.

We want a ghost story.

( chanting ): We want a ghost story.

All right, all right, all right.

All right, All right. All right! All right!

Hold it, hold it, hold it. Hold it, Hold it.

I'll tell one. I'll tell one.

I'll tell one.

Now be real quiet.

Be real quiet.

Let's see here.

( owl hooting )

Listen.

( owl hooting )

You hear that?

That's a hoot owl.

That reminds me of a story.

Long time ago, right in these very woods

there lived an old hermit.

And they say that buried right here in these woods

there was this hidden treasure

and this old hermit used to look for that treasure.

Day and night he looked for it.

One night

he went into a real dark cave looking for the treasure

and suddenly there were two eyes

looking at him, burning like coals of fire.

And the old hermit reached out his hand

and he touched something furry, and the thing went...

( growling )

It was a bear.

It bit his arm off.

Shazam.

The old hermit took out his Kn*fe

and he k*lled the bear with his other arm.

And while he was stumbling around

trying to get out of the cave

he found the treasure.

And he took it

and he bought himself an arm

to replace the arm he had lost

and it wasn't an ordinary arm.

It was an arm made out of pure gold.

Many years later, when the old hermit d*ed

a thief who had heard about this golden arm

came and stole it.

And then a strange thing happened.

When they came to get the old hermit to bury him

he was gone.

He disappeared.

And they say that right today he's looking for that golden arm

without which he can never be buried.

And he's looking right here in these very woods

for his golden arm.

And you can hear him at night.

You can hear him saying, "Who..." Who...

"Who stole my golden arm?

"Who stole my golden arm?

"Who stole my golden arm?

You stole my golden arm!"

( laughing )

( clamoring )

Well, that's it, boys.

There's your ghost story.

Now let's all get some sleep.

Now, remember, boys, that was just a story.

That's all it was.

Nothing to be frightened about, right, Ange?

That's right.

Now let's get some sleep,

so we can get up real early...

Barney, Gomer, wake up!

Huh? What?

Opie's gone!

What's the trouble, Trey?

Opie's gone.

His sleeping bag's here, but he isn't anywhere around.

What?

That means he's out there someplace.

Lost in the wilderness.

GOMER: Shazam.

Now, you're sure Opie didn't say anything to you

about going anywhere.

Did any of you boys see Opie leave this morning?

ALL: No.

Where is he?

Well, listen, you just take it easy

and stay right here.

Don't worry.

I'll find him.

See, boys, this is what I've been telling you.

You haven't learned to take care of yourselves.

Come on, Gomer.

Let's you and me cover the north slope there.

Hey, we better wait on Andy.

You don't seem to understand!

There's a tenderfoot lost out there.

Every second counts. Come on.

Opie!

You see any sign of him?

No trace, hide nor hair.

We got to follow his fore trail.

Look for footprints

broken branch, a wrinkled leaf.

Any sign to tell a trained eye that someone's passed.

A broken branch, huh?

Yeah.

Hey, there's one.

He must have come this way.

BOYS: Here comes Opie.

Hey, Op.

Where you been?

How are you?

Now, see, boys, that's what I was talking about

at the courthouse.

We have to stay together.

Why didn't you tell us you was going off by yourself like that?

We're supposed to stick together

and not go wandering off by ourselves.

But I wanted to surprise you with these berries I picked.

Yeah, you surprised me all right.

Where's Barney and Gomer?

They went out looking for Opie.

What?

Barney said they were going to comb the north slope.

Now, you see, Barney and Gomer had to go off without breakfast

to try to find you.

I'm sorry, Paw.

Rules are rules, Opie.

When you break them, you spoil it for everybody else.

All right, boys, get your gear straightened out

and we'll have some breakfast.

Well, it's a cinch he isn't anywhere around here

or these old baby blues would have spotted him.

All right, let's work our way back toward camp.

Hey, Barney, ain't camp that way?

Boy, it's a good thing you got me along, Gomer.

You'd just go off that way, wouldn't you?

Get yourself in deeper and deeper.

You got no pioneer moxie at all.

Our camp happens to be that way.

Now, come on.

But, Barney...

( honking horn )

( boys clamoring )

Hiya, boys.

Hello there.

How's it going?

Fine, fine, fine.

I brought up a little archery equipment here.

I thought the fellas could do a little practicing.

So you brung your weapons up here. ( children shouting )

Be careful, fellas.

Careful now.

Oh, uh,

Aunt Bee sent up some roasted chicken

in case you're tired of hot dogs.

Oh, bless her heart.

Bless her heart.

Hey, uh, hey, Fletch,

you didn't happen to run into Barney and Gomer

along the road, did you?

Well, no. Aren't they here with you?

Well, no. They wandered off this morning.

Wait a minute.

Don't tell me Barney went out and got hisself lost.

Ain't that somethin'? Barney's lost.

That's even better than a ghost story.

Yeah, Barney the pioneer.

ANDY: Well, now, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Nobody said Barney was lost.

Well, where is he?

Well, he's not one to hang around the cooking fire.

He's out somewhere doing his nature studies.

Really taking advantage of the camp-out.

But he's been gone all morning, Paw.

( children shouting )

Well, that-that-that's all right.

That's all right.

He'll be back after a while

and he'll bring back some interesting stuff

for us to study on.

Now, run off and have some fun

with the bows and arrows with Fletch

but be careful now.

Don't sh**t one another.

All right, fellas, let's go out over here.

Be careful now, don't go sh**ting till we get there.

Right over there... Come on.

Well, I think we can take a breather here.

We're almost back to camp.

Well, it can't be too soon for me.

I'm about starved.

We didn't have no breakfast

and it's already past noon.

Well, it won't be long now.

But didn't you say you could get food out here in the woods

anytime, like the pioneers?

Well, sure. Of course I can.

Well, if you don't mind,

I'd like some of that food off the land

and I know my stomach could appreciate it.

That is, if you really can do it.

Well, of course I could do it.

Normally, I'd just make a snare and catch a pheasant

or some such wild bird.

A pheasant, huh? Hey, that sounds tasty.

Let's have that.

Well, I would, except that...

you can't make a decent snare without a piece of string.

Boy, if we had a piece of string

I'd catch you a bird dinner you'd never forget.

It's just a darn pity that we don't...

I got some string.

You do?

Sure. I always carry an extra shoelace.

Here, make a snare.

Boy, my mouth's already watering

for some of that pheasant bird.

Well...

See, a wild bird just flies in there

to get them berries

and it knocks against that stick there

and then this snare you see, just falls down on it

and then you got it.

Well, I guess it's going to be tough eating, though.

A bird strong enough to move them rocks

and knock that stick over

is bound to be on the muscular side.

Well, let's get on out of here.

We don't want to scare them away.

Hey, Barney, we're going to need a fire, ain't we?

A fire? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, you got a match?

Yeah, a match.

Of course, we could start one just as quick

by rubbing two sticks together.

You know, fire by constriction.

An old pioneer trick

but since you do have matches, why...

You do, don't you?

I guess you better use them pioneer sticks.

Well, of course, on the other hand

a cold bird tastes just as good as a warm one.

You mean raw, don't you?

You are a pioneer

but if you don't mind, I'd like mine heated a touch

so go ahead and make the fire, if you would.

Oh. Sure. Okay.

Hey, Barney, ain't this

the place we was awhile ago?

This looks like the same tree.

We're going in circles.

I believe we're lost.

Gomer, this is not the same tree

and we are not lost.

Well, maybe you ain't

but I sure do feel misplaced.

Gomer, I'd stake all I know about the woods

that we have never come this way before.

You keep an eye on the snare

and I'll get a fire started.

Shh! Hi, Andy.

( whispering ): Keep it down.

I don't want Barney to hear us.

Sure good to see ya.

Did Opie get back all right?

Yeah, he's back.

We ought not to be talking here.

It might scare the pheasant birds away.

Oh, pheasant, huh?

Sure hope we catch a big one.

We weren't expecting you for dinner.

What are you doing here anyway?

Well, I got worried when you didn't come back to camp

and thought I might come look for you.

Then we are lost.

I thought we was, but Barney said no.

Are the boys back at camp

going to have fun with this.

I expect old Barney's really in for it...

Him and his pioneering talk.

Boy, the laugh's really going to be on him.

Hey. Gomer.

Sit down.

You know what you just said

about the laugh being on Barney?

Huh?

The laugh will be on Barney

and I'm afraid it would be the kind of laugh

that would hurt him pretty bad.

I'd hate to see that, wouldn't you?

Yeah.

After all, he came out here just to help, anyway.

Right.

Sure wish there was something we could do.

Well, maybe there is.

Here.

Break these matches off

and put the heads in his fire-maker.

But what good's a fire without a bird?

Don't worry, I'll watch your trap

and get you a pheasant.

Do you think there'll be one?

I'm pretty positive.

Shazam.

Go on, go on.

Hey, Barn.

How's it going?

Oh, fine, fine.

I was just, uh...

I just want to go and get some twigs.

You know, for when this gets started.

Okay.

Gomer...

Hey, Barney, now I look at this tree

I know what you mean.

Of course we never could have been here before.

I guess I just ain't the pioneer you are.

Gomer, I got something I want to...

I been feeling this log. It feels real warm.

It seems like it's about ready to flame up.

Show me your twirling again.

You see, Gomer the truth is...

Barn, you did it! You did it!

I declare, you're a regular Dan'l Boone.

Here.

Yeah, yeah. I told you, didn't I?

Get some more sticks, quick.

Yeah. Yeah, I'll get some firewood.

I'll get firewood.

Here. Be holding this over the fire

when he comes back.

Wow.

After you've eaten, I'll make a noise

and you tell him it's a lake loon, got it?

What's a lake loon?

I don't know.

Just tell him it's a lake loon, okay?

Okay.

This ought to do it.

I really had to hunt around

for some dry firewood.

What's that?

What's it look like?

You mean that snare worked?

It sure did.

And it's done and everything?

Well, when I seen it in the snare

I took it out and plucked it and cleaned it

and set it right on the fire.

Well, it... it worked!

We caught us a bird.

The land is feeding us just like I said.

Daniel Boone ain't never done better.

Yeah.

Well...

it seemed to have cooked up awful fast.

Well...

That's easy to understand, though.

I mean any fire started pioneer-style

is bound to be hotter

than fire started from just ordinary matches.

You think it's done yet?

There's a taste you can't match

with anything you'll ever find in the city.

Even Aunt Bee couldn't evoke up anything that good.

Yeah. I expect we better be heading back.

Yeah, I guess so.

( bird call )

Hear that?

That's a lake loon

and it come from that direction.

Let's see now.

Moss on the north side of trees...

Yes, sir, that's what it was all right, a lake loon.

The kind of loons you find at lakes.

'Course, if we waited for the north star to come out...

I wonder where that lake loon's going.

He's probably heading for the lake.

Of course, if the sun... Wait a minute.

You know what kind of bird that was?

A lake loon.

Probably a web-footed

red-crested lake loon.

Now, where would a web-footed

red-crested lake loon be heading?

Toward the lake!

Toward the lake, don't you understand?

You see, instead of just sitting there

you got to use all your senses.

That's nature's pointer.

We just follow that sound and there's a shortcut home.

Gosh, Barney.

Come on, let's get started.

The sound came from right over...

You're right again.

From that way.

Right.

( bird call )

( bird call )

Hey, boys!

Come here and look who's coming.

There comes Barney Fife

a true pioneer if I've ever seen one.

( boys cheering )

Hi, Barney!

( all talking at once )

I'm sorry you had to go off lookin' for me, Barney.

Oh, heck, that's all right.

It just gave me a chance

to get reacquainted with nature.

Where have you been, anyway?

You've been gone most of the day.

How in the world did you make out?

Come on, Barney, tell the boys about it.

Yeah, tell us!

Yeah, Barney!

Come on, come on.

It wasn't anything at all.

Just forget it.

Remarkable and miraculous as it was

just forget about it.

What is all this?

Well, he made this trap

out of just one of my shoestrings

and some twigs, and he caught this bird.

What?

That must have been hard to make.

Wild pheasant... perhaps the most

difficult species of all to ensnare.

Then he rubbed these sticks together and built a fire.

ANDY: He didn't!

Roaring blaze in a matter of seconds.

And then we cooked the bird.

To a turn.

And then just as easy

as you please, he tracked

this lake loon and brought us

smack back here straight as a die.

Web-footed, red-crested lake loon.

Boy, that's some kind of tracking, huh?

I'll tell you that.

Boys. Boys.

Let me make one thing perfectly clear.

If you learn to communicate with nature

and develop the self-same pioneer moxie

you will find that it builds

a self-reliance

that will be helpful to you later on in every walk of life.

It will be something you can pass on to your children

and your children's children.

It's not anything you can learn in books.