03x11 - Of Clocks And Contracts

[bunniefuu]

Cody, will you help me
with my science project?

The guy I used to use

Is all stuck up now that
he won the nobel prize.

A nobel prize winner
tutored you?

No, he just did
the research
and the writing.

Sorry, london,
I can't help you.

I have a report due
on moby d*ck.

I'll pay you.

The whale can wait!

Great, I'll see you
in my suite later,

Study buddy.

I'll be there,
money honey.

Uh, no fair.

And I can't afford
to hire a nerd.Ct, too,

We nerds prefer
"educational consultants."

And I thought you said
you were great in science.

I am,

But I really want
to get an "a,"

So I'm building
a tesla coil.

Ooh, challenging,

But I'm all booked up.

Really?

You like listening to all
that classical junk, right?

If by junk you mean
the music of beethoven,
mozart, and bach,

Then yes.

Look, if you help me,

I can get my hands
on uncle marion's
symphony tickets

To hear yo-yo mama.

You mean, yo-yo ma?

Whatever.

I'm your nerd.

♪here I am in your life ♪

♪here you are in mine ♪

♪yes, we have a suite life ♪

♪most of the time ♪

♪you and me,
we got the world to see ♪

♪so come on down ♪

♪just me and you
know what to do ♪

♪so come on down ♪

♪it's you and me
and me and you ♪

♪we got the whole place
to ourselves ♪

you and me,
we got it all for free

so come on down

♪this is the suite life ♪

♪we've got a suite life ♪

Now, carey, as you know,

Your singing contract is up,

So here is the renewal.

Now, for your convenience,

I have flagged
where you need to sign.

You, uh--signature
at the red ones,

Iand then initial
wat the yellow ones.Gn.

What about that green one?

The green one--oh!

It's a little lettuce
from my lunch.

And there you are.

Don't I need
to read it first?

No, that's the beauty
of the flags!

Hey, mom!

I need your help!

I got gum in my ear.

And nothing
in your head.

I'm sure there's
a reasonable explanation.

Nope!

Ugh.

Ahh.

Leave it!

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I'm negotiating my contract
with mr. Moseby.

Ho ho, we're
not negotiating,

We're signing.

Hey, did you get
a -year guarantee?

I don't see that in here.

How about yearly raises
tied to performance?

Good point!

Oh, you're outside
the flags!

Outside the flags!

I'd demand a new filter
for that spotlight.

Somebody's not getting
any younger.

That's right!

About the lighting,
not about the getting
older part.

Zack, this discussion
is not for children.

Actually, this child
makes a point.

I think I'm going to review
this more carefully.

Oh, carey, are you going
to take zack's advice?

I know you
don't believe this,

But zack can be
pretty sharp.

Check it out.

I'm a gummy mummy.

[growling]

Oh, hi, cody!

So, are you done
with my project yet?

You're paying me
to help you,

Not do the work for you.

Oh, I get it.

You want more money.

London, there isn't
enough money in the world

To make me do
your homework for you.

[scoffs] maybe not
in your world,

But in my world,

I have enough money
to buy your world.

Forget it.
Let's just focus here.

Do you have
an experiment in mind?

Ok...

How about you
conduct an experiment

That demonstrates
the principles
of gene splicing?

Oh, I could do that!

Lly y
my jeans with holes
already in them,

But I could slice
them myself.

[groans]

It's like talking
to a potato.

[gasps] we'll make
a potato clock.

Well, why would a potato
need to tell time?

Oh, I got it!

So, it knows
when it's done!

No, the potato
will power the clock.

See, by using
copper and zinc,

You create
a chemical reaction
between the metals,

Converting the potential
energy inherent

Within the vegetable
into an electrical current.

Potato make tick-tock.

Yay!

Cody smart-smart.

No, no, no, no, no.

He cannot be serious.

These percentages
don't even keep pace

With the cost of living.

Why can't you do
your math homework
this easily?

Please, mom, those are
all make-believe numbers.

This is the real stuff.

You know what?
You deserve a raise.

More vacation time,
a suite with bedrooms...

I want that.

Finally, I could have
my own bedroom.

Well, actually,
I was thinking

One for me
and one for cody,

But you could bunk
with cody.

[knocking]

[sniffs]
I smell ink drying.

I hope that means
something has been signed.

Nope, something's
been crossed out.

Something--
what--

What is all of--

But I brought a bottle
of sparkling cider
to celebrate.

We'll drink
that apple bubbly

When you make us
a real offer.

[sputters]

Ok, ok, maybe there are

A few perks
I could throw your way.

How about I bump up
your wardrobe budget %?

Hmm? And I'll let you
keep the outfits for,
you know, dates.

Uh, should you ever get one.

I'll take that.

Under consideration,
and we'll get back to you.

Under consideration?
She said, "I'll take it."

Why didn't we
agree to that?

I like free clothes.

Please. He's just
throwing you a bone.

Look, let me negotiate.

Not only will you
get free clothes,

The pockets will be
stuffed with money.

Minus my % commission,
of course.

I don't know, zack.

I don't think I could
let a -year old

Negotiate my deal.

Aw, ma, what do you
got to lose?

If I get you more,
great.

If not, you could always
sign moseby's deal.

Well, you do make
some good points.

And it would drive
mr. Moseby bonkers.

Which could work for us.

Ok, zack, you are
now my agent.

Great. Let's do lunch.

[laughs]

No, really,
mommy, I'm hungry.

Make me a sammich?

All right, for
a tesla coil to work,

We need to create
an electrical field

That can power a light
bulb without it being

Attached to any wires.

Yeah, yeah.
Less yapping, more coiling.

[elevator dings]

Cody, cody!

Something went wrong
with my potato clock.

I can see that.

You turned it into
a potato hat.

Do you think
this will get an "a"?

Not unless you're wearing

Sour cream gloves
and a bacon scarf.

Look,

You need
to come and help me.

Fine.

Hey, he's helping me.

That's right,
I was helping her.

Oh, not anymore.

Give me back my nerd!

He's my nerd!
No!

[both grunting]

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

Let's not break the nerd.

We tend not to be
that well-muscled.

Ah, carey!

Ready to put
this contract to bed?

Please address me,
not my client.

Carey, are you serious?

Well, he talked me in to it.

Since he could do that,
I figured he must be
a good agent.

[laughs]

Great, small talk's over.
Let's tango.

Now, since my client
started working here,

Business in your lounge
has gone through the roof.

Ok, I do acknowledge
there have been a few
more people.

A few?
It's been a stampede.

And after every show,

People give her
a standing ovation.

They're getting up
to go home!

Well, they
never would have come in

Without
this glamour-pus up there

Shaking her goodies.

Shaking my goodies?

Bubbe, please.
You sing, I talk.

Look, tourists
come for the hotel,

Not for some
so-called glamour-pus.

So-called?

Look, sweetheart,

This is nothing personal,

But just leave this
to the professionals

And get yourself
a candy bar.

But just one.

We don't want
your goodies to go bad.

I--I--

Zack makes
a great point.

About my goodies?

No, you should leave this
for the professionals.

But I--

Well, I'm glad you
understand our position.

I do.

So, how did it go?

What did you get me?
Well, more vacation time.

How many weeks a year?

.

That's all of them.

Yep, you quit.

I quit?

Don't worry, it's just
a negotiating ploy.

But, I don't think--
don't look back.

I want to--
don't look back.

[cries]
you looked back,

Didn't you?

A little.

Cody.

London.

Oh, this is too hard.

It's wires,

A potato,
and a clock.

How much easier
could it be?

A lot.

If you do it.

London,
I'm not going to do it.

I have my own
book report that
I have to finish.

If you finish
this project for me,

I'll write
your book report for you.

[laughing]

Seriously,
finish the clock.

Fine, I'll finish it.

It's the only way I'm going
to get my book report done.

Thank you.

Uh, cody, I connected

The h.V. Capacitor
to the transformer

Like you said,

And nothing happened.

I get more electricity

Dragging my feet
on the carpet.

Ow!

Oh, hey, cody,

Maybe I should attach
my clock to her.

I'm going to need a pin.

You need to back off,

So cody can help me
finish my project.

Well, he's
doing my project.

I'm paying him.

So, I'm giving him
yo mama tickets.

Well, cody's been
my friend for years.

Oh, yeah? Well,
what's his last name?

Oh, cody--

Cody--

Martin.

No, I'm pretty sure
it's cody.

See? That's why
you should help me.

She doesn't even
know your last name.

I'll buy cody
all the last names
he wants.

Martin.
Fine.

I'll buy martin
all the last names
he wants.

Forget it.

I have a book report
I need to do.

I want no part
of any of this.

London, keep your money.

Nia, keep yo mama tickets.

I'm out of here.

Oh, martin, wait!

Great.

Now what are we
going to do?

Look, if you help me,
I'll help you.

I mean, how hard
can this really be?

Wait, which wire
was mine?

What difference
does it make?

What should I do with this?

I don't know. Just
connect it to something.

Whoa,
that's pretty cool.

See that?
We didn't need martin.

[screaming]

Hey! French fries.

And they're crispy.

Oh, let's blow up a tomato

And make some ketchup.

Zack--

Shh, mom, I'm on
an important call.

Nope. Too busy.

Can't play
hockey tonight, mm-kay?

All right.

Zack, I'm really
worried.

It's been days,
and moseby still

Hasn't offered me
my job back.

In fact, he started
referring to me

As the guest in .

What's mr. Moseby going
to do? Hire another act?

Excuse me, do you know where
the cabaret auditions are?

Auditions?

Never mind.

Oh...

Ok, this has
gone on long enough.

I'm going
to find moseby and sign
that original contract.

No, no, no, can't you see?

This is all a show.

He's not going to hire any
of these no-talent losers.

No offense.

Especially you.

Here's my card.

Just don't call
on a school night.

Ok, ok, zack!

We have a problem.

I mean, obviously,
this quitting ploy
didn't work.

Yet.

Just hang tough
and trust your agent.

You're an agent?

Well, I'm looking
for an agent.

You see? They're
coming to me now.

Show me
what you got, clown.

[squeaks]

[laughs]

First place at
the science contest.

We're the smarterest.

What's the matter?

You look sad, martin.

Thanks to you girls,

I did terribly
on my moby d*ck
book report.

I got an "a" minus.

Well, that's not so bad.

Hello? Minus.

I hope
you girls are happy.

Oh, we are.

Because you made us
do the project on our own,

We got an "a" cross.

Plus.

We got an "a" plus.

Right, we got
an "a" plus the cross.

I don't get it.

Your projects
didn't even work.

Uh, not separately,
but together,

They made
french fries.

And one of daddy's investors

Thinks we can sell them
and make a fortune.

It'll be my first.

So, I guess we did
good work together.

What's my cut?

You said you wanted
no part of this.

Yeah, you told us
to keep our money,

So we will.

But wait--

Sorry, martin.

So, I get nothing.

Yep. Would you like
fries with that?

Mom, you can't cave in
to moseby now.

Zack, this is my last show

Before I wind up doing
early bird dinner theater

In fort lauderdale.

It is caving time.

Relax.

Tohose who wait.

[sighs]

Moseby: Carey, a word?
See?

I am so sorry I didn't
get back to you earlier.

I've been so busy
auditioning other acts.

Just in case we couldn't
reach an agreement.

Oh, oh, we'll be able
to reach an agreement.

Excuse me, ms. Martin.

My name is kelley emmitt,

And I'm
the entertainment director

For the glitz harlton hotel.

I saw your early show,
and I think

You would be
the perfect headliner

For our main room.

Well, I believe
I had the floor.

Now, in the interest
of closing this deal,

I'm willing to offer you
an extra week vacation

And a % raise.

Really?
Hah!

We at the glitz are
willing to offer you,

Uh, weeks vacation
and a % raise.

Ow!
Mr. Moseby,

Care to counter?
Ok, uh,

I guess I could scrape
together %,

That's if I replace
norman the doorman

With a wedge of wood.

We'll double
your salary,

And give you
a -bedroom suite

And one month vacation
per year!

Shut up!

Mr. Moseby, your turn.

I'll take it!

T-t-take it--
t-take it--

But mr. Moseby, you--

Zack, I can't compete
with that.

I guess I'm going
to have to go with
the other act.

He's a comedian.

Does a whole thing
on airline food.

It is hi-larious.

You get a--
because of the--

Carey, I'm
going to miss you.

[squeaks]

Mom, what have you done?

I just accepted
a great job offer,

And we all get
our own bedrooms.

Thank you,
mr. Emmitt, thank you.

[buzzing]

That was odd.

Sorry, guess I forgot
to lose that

When I took off
my clown suit.

Clown suit?

You're--

Zack, please tell me
you didn't do something

That's going to
make me wish cody
was an only child.

[clears throat]

He's not really
from the glitz.

He's my client bubbles.

Bubbles.

[squeaks]

[laughs]

Oh, yeah,
I recognize the horn.

He was just supposed
to get mr. Moseby
to offer you more.

Did you ever think about,
I don't know,

Letting me in on the plan?

You would've said no.

And wouldn't that
have been a shame

Considering how well
everything went?

Well, I thought
I did good.

Shut up.

Now, if you two clowns
will excuse me,

I'm going to go
beg for my job back.

Well, it helps
if you cry.

[crying]

Oh...

I would like
to introduce to you

Our brilliant new comedian,

You'll laugh till you plotz.

Buddy king!
Buddy, come on out!

Hey, hey, how you
doing, everybody?

Great to be here.

Hey, don't you love
the tipton?

I tell you,
it's great to be working

In a high-class cabaret.

Last week,
I worked in a place

That was such a dump,
they had a sign on the door

That said
"sorry, we're open."

[laughter]

Mr. Moseby,
I've reconsidered.

I've decided I want
to take you up on
your last offer.

You have?
Mm-hmm.

Oh, carey, look, the glitz
made you a fabulous offer.

I mean, you would be
a fool not to take it.

And call me a fool.

As your friend,
I can't let you do this.

Yes, you can.
No, I can't.

Yes, you can.
No, I can't.

Yes, you can.
No, I can't.

We love the tipton
and everyone in it.

Oh, that is so sweet.

Especially you.

There was no other
job offer, was there?

No.

The guy from the glitz
is a clown,

My son is a goof,
and I'm ready to work.

Oh, really?

Well, carey,

But you were asking
for way too much.

Flight attendant stuck
her fingers in my ears.

[laughter]

Ok, fine.
Forget the raise.

I'll settle for
the wardrobe budget.

No, no, no, not so fast.

I made that offer
before I found buddy.

He comes
with his own clothes

And no children.

Besides, he's a big hit.

I mean, he really
connects with the audience.

Last week I was on a plane.

They served me
broken leg of lamb.

That's not funny.

What did you say?

I said that's not funny.

And you stink.

Hey, listen, pal,

Nobody heckles buddy king.

I just did.

Oh, yeah?

Well, how do you like
thisoh, dear.

Woman: Somebody
do something.

You're right,

He is a hit.

You really connected
with that guy.

Ok,

Let's get
that contract signed.

Oh, not so fast.

Ok, I'll give you
the wardrobe budget.

You want a piece
of me, too, toots?

[crowd gasps]

And an extra week
vacation.

Oh, ok, ok, done.

You've been a great crowd!

You can buy my dvd
in the lobby.

Mom, great news.

I got you a job.

How do you feel about
working with monkeys?

I've got some news
for you, too.

I got my old job back,
and you're fired.

Well, as your agent
or--or your son?

As my agent.

That was
a smart career move.

Hey, mr. Moseby.

It was
a well-fought battle,

And I hope there are
no hard feelings.

By the way,

Just in case the chick
singer doesn't work out,

I got this awesome
clown act.

Ok, now, you're fired
as my son, too.

Everyone loves
homemade french fries,

But who has the time?

I don't.

I usually
have to pay those crazy
drive-through prices.

Well, not anymore.

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You can have
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[boom]

[sizzling]

Mmm, now,
that's a good fry.

If you call right now,

We'll include a pound
bag of potatoes

Absolutely free.

[yells]

$ shipping
and handling
not included.

Hurry, they're selling
like hot cakes.

Don't you mean
hot potatoes?

[laughing]

Seriously, call.

You won't regret it.

Lightning fry
is not responsible
for any accidents,

Injuries, or mutations
that may occur while
using this product.