03x08 - My Life had stood – a Loaded g*n

[bunniefuu]

[SIGHS]

[DOOR OPENS]

Hi.

What do you want?

Look, I know we're at w*r,

but I was hoping that
we could cease fire today

and go to the funeral together,
in honor of Frazar.

I'm not going.

What are you talking about?
You have to go.

Frazar was one of your classmates.

- He was one of your best friends.
- I don't need you to tell me that.

And I certainly don't need to watch Dad

pretending like he knew Frazar

and using his death
to peacock to the town.

I... I can mourn him myself.

You know if you're not there,

the whole town will
be talking about Dad.

You're actually making
this all about you.

Can't you think of the family for once?

- [BABY CRYING]
- [SNIFFS]

I have my own family now,
and I need to get back to them.

Where's Sue? She'll
agree with me. I know it.

Sue and I are prioritizing
our own child now.

Maybe if you had children of your own,
you would understand.

If I had children of my own,

I would teach them to protect
their family's reputation

and show up when it really matters.

God, Emily. What happened to you?

You used to be so...

unconventional,

and now you're just like Dad.

Go on.

Run along and hold Dad's hand.
Remember, you chose him, after all.

[DOOR CLOSES]

[SIGHS]

Frazar Augustus Stearns was
an Amherst man through and through.

Frazar embodied this town's spirit.
He was its flesh and blood.

And though it pains me to say goodbye...

Where's Austin?

I don't know.

It's crazy he's not here.

It's crazy none of them are here.

Can we please stop calling
everything crazy? It's offensive.

Besides, Emily's here.

[EDWARD] A hero who has brought
great glory to this town.

And so today, we dedicate
this cannon to him

as a reminder of that glory.

[NOBODY] A cannon?

For me?

- Frazar!
- Shh!

- I'm Nobody.
- You're here.

I couldn't exactly miss my own funeral.

[CHUCKLES]

This cannon was there at New Bern,

the very site, where young
Frazar laid down his life...

Can you believe this guy?

... for the soul of this nation.

I'm sorry. I know he's your dad,
but it's so cheesy.

He's just trying to honor you.

That's the whole reason
you went to the w*r, remember?

You're a little famous now,
Frazar Stearns.

[EDWARD] And when this w*r is over,

and our nation is healing
from this great wound,

it is the memories
of those like Frazar Stearns

that will be our collective balm.

So, what was it like?

- What was what like?
- w*r.

It was worse than I'd ever imagined.

Like I went straight
into the jaws of hell,

in the darkest inferno there is.

Like Dante.

Yeah, just like Dante.

- And what did you find there?
- The truth.

The rawest, the ugliest truth.

There's no hiding in w*r.

You think you're facing an enemy
when really you're facing yourself.

Well, you're not the only one
who's been at w*r.

So I hear. I'm sorry
about you and Austin.

It's fine.

Everything's turned out for the best.

I've learned a lot actually.

- Really? Like what?
- Mm-hmm.

Well, I've... I've learned that
my brother is a hopeless mess,

and we're all better off without him.

Sure, Mom and Vinnie are still
in the processing phase,

but Dad and I are stronger than ever.

Please bear to your comrades in arms

our most heartfelt acknowledgement...

I've honestly never felt
more hope for this family.

What?

- I'm sorry. I'm not sure I believe you.
- What do you mean?

This hope of yours
just rings a little false.

[EDWARD] "... mortally wounded
as he was cheering on the men

to charge upon the enemy
across the railroad".

Yes, sir. Thank you for coming.
Thank you so much. I appreciate it.

- Edward, there you are.
- Oh!

That was one heck of
a speech. Fabulous job.

Really... [SNIFFS] ... splendid.

Thank you, Ithamar.
I'm pleased you think so.

Indeed, I do. And I must say,
I am sorry that I ever doubted you.

You are as Union-blooded as they come.

Yes. And it pains me to think
that anyone ever thought otherwise.

Well, uh, you know how the town
loves a good comeback story.

I'm just sorry your family
wasn't here to see it.

- But we were.
- Oh! Evelina! [CHUCKLES]

I was just congratulating your father
on his excellent eulogy.

Yes, it was brilliant, wasn't it?

Lincoln himself couldn't have
said it better.

- Oh!
- Indeed not. [CHUCKLES]

You have always been
good on the stump, Edward.

It makes one wonder
why you ever left politics.

I don't know about that.

Mmm, something to think about, perhaps?

A good day to both of you.

Good day, Conkey.

- Well done, Dad. You crushed it.
- Oh, you really think so?

- Absolutely.
- Hmm.

I've never been more proud
to be your daughter.

Aw.

Come on. Let's take
a nice long walk home.

The spring flowers are coming out.

Okay.

- [CHATTERING]
- [WOMAN] Mr. Dickinson.

Mmm.

Sue, you came.

- Yeah, of course I did.
- Without your husband.

He's watching the baby.
We've officially dispensed

with predetermined gender
roles in our household.

Am I right in thinking the two of you
are still editing Drum b*at?

You mean President Lincoln's
favorite newspaper?

We most certainly are. Why?

I would like to submit
something, anonymously.

- Well, that was fun.
- [SIGHS] Yes.

[CHUCKLING]

I've never had a conversation
with daffodils before.

You should try it more often.

I've always found them
to be very good listeners.

Yes. Oh, yes, they... they kept nodding

their heads to everything I said.

- [BOTH CHUCKLE]
- It was most agreeable.

[CHUCKLES]

You know, Em, there's something
I've been meaning to talk to you about.

What is it?

Well, it's something rather important
I like to ask you to do for me.

What I can do - I will -
Though it be little as a Daffodil -

Daffodil, very clever.

Yes, um... Could you step
into my office? Come on.

Whew! Apologies for the mess.

Looks like the place got ransacked.

Yes. [SIGHS] It turns out
legacy-making is hard work.

But I think I finally figured out
what I'm leaving behind and to whom,

which is actually why I need you.

Oh. Okay.

I want you to be the
executor of my will.

- Me?
- Yes, you.

I know it's an unusual request.

But, you see, an executor must be
someone of sound mind and body,

someone who can carry out
your wishes to the letter,

someone who can speak for you
when you are no longer able,

someone who you trust
with your whole heart.

Whoa, Dad. [CHUCKLES]
I never knew you saw me that way.

Yes. Well, typically, the role
would fall to the eldest son,

but, well, things have turned
out differently in this family.

Well, don't worry, Father.

One son at your service. Perhaps
you never noticed him before.

- [CHUCKLES] I confess, I did not.
- Mmm.

But it's never too late.

- Please, do have a seat.
- Yes, thank you.

[EDWARD] Oh, no, my pleasure.

Mmm. Sir.

Yes. Good lad, good lad.

Be quick now.

All right?

- Ready when you are, Father.
- Excellent. Ah...

I, Edward Dickinson, being
of sound mind and judgment...

[EDWARD] Mmm?

... do declare this to be
my last will and testament.

[SIGHS]

[BUGLE PLAYS "ASSEMBLY"]

[MEN SHOUTING RHYTHMICALLY]

Attention!

[RHYTHMIC SHOUTING CONTINUES]

Well, sh*t.

- [EDWARD] Emily.
- Hmm?

Did you get that last bequeathment?

Oh, yes, yes, of course.
Sorry, um... Yes.

"The sum of $ , shall be bequeathed
to Amherst College Trust".

- Good.
- Yes.

I thought I lost you there for a moment.

Dad, you know what I was thinking?

You should really set up a scholarship.

A scholarship?

Yes. What better way to
expand your legacy portfolio

than by investing in people?

Not everything has to
be a name on a building.

Why, that's brilliant. Just brilliant.

Huh.

Goodness. Austin would have
never thought of something like that.

Well... [CHUCKLES]

You know, Em... [CHUCKLES]

... I have come to realize
what a lucky man I am.

I have to admit, I've felt abandoned
by this family as of late,

but never by you.

You've always been loyal to me,

even though I've not always
been worthy of it.

You have had to forgive me for a lot.

And I want you to know that I will go
to my deathbed grateful for that.

All I want... All I've ever wanted
is to make you happy.

I know, Dad. Thank you.

You and I both care so much
about this family.

It's true.

And I know how hard it is for you

with your brother on the opposing side.

Oh, we need to make sure nothing
like that ever happens between us.

No. Nothing will ever divide us.

- It won't.
- Mmm.

[EMILY] So, we're almost done.

- Yes. We just need the very last clause.
- That's right.

- Hit me.
- Okay. Whew.

The family home.

Main Street, Amherst...

along with all the rest of my
possessions, such that remain,

shall be bequeathed to...

my son, William Austin Dickinson, Esq.

[EMILY] My Life had
stood - a Loaded g*n -

And in the event of his death,

they shall be bequeathed
to his son, the... [SIGHS]

My goodness. [CHUCKLES]

That boy doesn't even
have a name yet, does he?

[CHUCKLING] Just put
down "his eldest son".

Oh.

[EMILY] In Corners - till a Day

Hmm. Imagine that.

Your little unnamed nephew

could very well end up
being your guardian one day.

[CHUCKLING]

How funny life is.

[EMILY] The Owner passed - identified -

And carried Me away.

What is the matter, my dear?

Are you really telling me...

that you're giving everything to Austin?

Just like that?

After all that's happened?
Every single thing?

But of course.

Who else would it go to?

[STAMMERS]

You women?

[EMILY] And now We
roam in Sovreign Woods

And now We hunt the Doe -

And every time I speak for Him

Imagine how that would look,

if I left everything to my daughter.

The bank would likely
tear the will right up.

They would think I was insane.
Women can't own property.

No, Em, it has something to do
with how emotional they are.

They simply can't be trusted
to make their own decisions.

That's why they need
to be left in a man's care,

if not my own, then Austin's.
And if not his, then his son's.

The men of this family
shall remain in charge,

hopefully, for many generations to come.

I mean, you women are blessed

not to have the burden of independence
on your shoulders.

Oh. Not to worry though, my dear.

You will be well taken care of.

And in any case, I assure you,

this is perfectly in keeping
with Massachusetts law.

[LAUGHS]

[EMILY] The Mountains straight reply -

You know, I grew up thinking...

how lucky I am to have such
an incredible man for a father.

Hmm. A man of ambition,
a man of great power,

who could do amazing things,

who could change the world.

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

But the truth is...

you're nothing like that.

I'm sorry, what?

You are nothing but a scared sheep.

You have no power to change
anything because you...

you have no imagination.

And for that reason, no one will
ever know or care who you were.

I made a mistake.

[BREATHES SHAKILY]

Austin was right about you.

I was wrong.

Em.

[EMILY] And do I smile
such cordial light

Upon the Valley glow -

It is as a Vesuvian face

Had let its pleasure through -

- Watch out!
- Oh, my God!

- Betty, I'm so sorry. I wasn't looking.
- You need to pay attention.

Things just keep getting
worse and worse.

- If you'll excuse me.
- Betty, just tell me how you do it.

Please.

How? How do you keep it all together?

Because this world is so
messed up, and honestly,

I'm not sure I can do it anymore.

I'm sorry. I just can't. What makes
you think I have time for this?

- Betty, what's wrong?
- What's wrong is I just found out

that Henry has joined
a regiment in the south.

- He wrote to you.
- No! I had to hear it from the mailman.

Apparently, Henry is perfectly
capable of writing letters,

just not to his family.

So, not only is Helen
about to lose her father,

but he doesn't even care
enough to tell us about it.

No, no. He cares, I'm sure he cares.

He loves you, Betty, and he loves Helen.

And... And at least you know
where he is now.

There's a Confederate
army approaching them,

and they don't even have g*ns.

- Betty, I'm so sorry.
- I don't need your pity!

No, I... I didn't mean
that... Look, I am...

I am not thinking clearly right now.

I just got into a fight with my dad.

- And then...
- Yes!

Well, I'm sorry that your family
is so busy destroying itself.

But meanwhile, the world
has already destroyed mine.

Betty, you have to stay hopeful.

Hope? Hope is a lie!

Emily, you spend one day in
my shoes, you'll understand that.

Go ahead. Write all the poems you want.

It doesn't change anything.

I want nothing to do with hope.

Nothing.

All hope ever did was make me cry.

Betty.

[SIGHS]

[EMILY] And when at Night -
Our good Day done -

I guard My Master's Head -

'Tis better than the Eider-Duck's

Deep Pillow - to have shared -

To foe of His - I'm deadly foe -

None stir the second time -

On whom I lay a Yellow Eye -

Or an emphatic Thumb -

Though I than He - may longer live

He longer must - than I -

For I have but the power to k*ll

[CHATTERING]

Without - the power to die -

[BREATHES HEAVILY]

[SIGHS]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

You made it.

A pit?

An inferno.

"Abandon all hope".

Abandon all hope, and
you find where true hope lies,

the one place you haven't looked,

the darkest place of all.

Are you ready?

I hope so.

After you.

- [SLAMS]
- Wait!

Frazar?

Nobody?

[EMILY] Vinnie!

Oh, it's you.

Wha... What are you doing here?

What does it look like?

I'm trying to keep
all of my husbands alive.

These are all of your husbands?

All of them and none of them,
thanks to you.

Thanks to me?

Yes, you.

If I hadn't spent my whole life
listening to you preach

about being a free, creative spirit,
I would have found true love.

But no, you had to make me think about

art and poetry and all of that garbage

when I should have stayed focused
on getting married.

- [EMILY] Wait, are those...
- Your poems?

Yes. And you know what?
I think I will burn them.

- That's all they're really good for.
- No. No!

No, Vinnie, stop!

No, you stop. Stop distracting me
from what really matters.

Stop ruining my chance at happiness.

[MEN GROANING SOFTLY]

Poor baby.

[WOMAN WHISPERS] Psst.
Emily. [CONTINUES, INDISTINCT]

[CHATTERING]

Austin? Austin, wait.
Where are you taking me?

I'm sorry, Emily, but you're crazy.
It's time for you to be locked up.

What? Why?

So you can't do to anyone
what you did to me.

What? What did I do?

You know full well you're the reason
my marriage is a disaster.

Austin, that's not fair.
You knew I loved Sue.

Not like that, I didn't.
And besides, you don't love Sue.

You love writing poems about loving Sue.

Your poems are all you care about.

That's not true.

Yes, it is. You know it is.

Austin, I love Sue. And I love you.

If that were true,
you would've given us a chance.

But instead, you kept writing her poems.

You couldn't stop yourself, could you?

Each one, a tiny drop of poison.

Each one slowly k*lling any hope
we had of happiness.

Austin.

I swear, I never meant to hurt you.

You didn't hurt me, Emily.

You destroyed me.

[GRUNTS]

[WOMAN SOBBING]

I'm alone and scared, Emily.
I lost my mommy.

- Mom?
- Will you feed me, Emily?

- [DOLL CRYING]
- [CRYING]

Oh, God.

[CRYING, LAUGHS]

[MRS. DICKINSON LAUGHING]

[MRS. DICKINSON CRYING, LAUGHING]

[SIGHS]

Dad.

Dad?

Dad. Da...

Oh, my God.

No. No.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Dad!

Dad, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[SUE] Emily.

He's dead.

[GASPS]

He's dead.

Yeah. And now we can be together.

Oh, no. It is my fault.
It's my fault. I k*lled him.

Say your goodbyes and come with me.

[SOBS]

[SNIFFS, WHIMPERS]

I'm sorry.

I am.

[BREATHES HEAVILY]

["COME SOFTLY TO ME" PLAYING]

Look. It's just you and me now.

It's perfect.

[SONG CONTINUES]

[SONG CONTINUES]

Uh, you know, maybe we shouldn't...

Don't worry, Emily. No one can
see us down here. We're safe.

That's not what... That's
not what I meant. It's just...

What? You don't even want to kiss me?

No, of course I do. Of
course I do. It's just...

You, uh... You seem a little...

I knew it. You're not
attracted to me anymore.

You're putting words in my mouth.

Then let me put something else in there.

Wh... Wait, oh, my God.

- Oh, God, Sue!
- Get off me, Emily!

[SUE GRUNTS]

[BREATHES HEAVILY]

There was never any
hope for us, was there?

- What do you mean?
- Don't touch me ever again.

Sue, wait.

["DISCOVERY" PLAYING]

[SONG CONTINUES]

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

[HORSE WHINNIES]

[CRASH]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[GRUNTS]

[g*ns COCKING]

[MARCHING FOOTSTEPS]

[SONG CONTINUES]

Fire!

Henry!

[GASPS]

[ALL SHOUTING]

Charge!

[ALL SHOUTING]

No. Henry!

[GRUNTS]

[SCREAMS]

Come on, Henry!

Do not give up! Keep fighting!

Your family needs you.

[GASPS]

- [SHOUTS]
- [g*nsh*t]

We're winning!

- [SOLDIERS SHOUTING]
- Victory is ours!

[SOLDIERS CHEERING]

[SONG CONTINUES]

[GASPS]

[BREATHES SHAKILY]

[MOUTHING WORDS] Oh, God.

[CHIRPING]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[CHIRPING CONTINUES]

[SONG CONTINUES]

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

[SONG FADES, ENDS]