03x10 - Sensei & Sensibility

[bunniefuu]

[Music]

Ooh, our commercial is on!

Hello, I'm Rudy Gillespie, the
Sensei of The Bobby Wasabi Dojo.

Oh no, some bully just
stole my calculator.

I wish I knew kar-a-te.

I'll teach you. [Fake whispers]

- Thank you, handsome Sensei.
- [Fabric rips]

Hey, you, give me my calculator back.

[Nervously] Oh no, you
must have learned kar-a-te.

At The Bobby Wasabi Dojo...

Conveniently located at...

m...

Main Street.

[High-pitched scream]

Hey, I was watching you from over...

There.

What do you call those
moves you do so well?

They are called
ka-ra-te, friend.

Because life without it...

Just doesn't add up.

Wow, you wear ka-ra-te well.

- Can I please be your girlfriend now?
- [Bell dings]

Sign up today! Call ...

_.

Yeah!

Now everyone in Seaford will
know that I'm the King of karate.

Uh, Rudy, you may want to see this.

I'm Chuck Banner, the Karate King.

And if you love America, you'll sign up
at my new Seaford Karate King dojo today!

Hiyah! Call within the next minutes and
you'll receive this free Karate King clock.

Men and ladies love
waking up next to me.

What time is it?

Half past awesome.

- Jerry, what are you doing?
- I'm getting that clock.

I want one too.

Please, guys, Chuck Banner is a joke.

Jack is right. Nobody is
calling Karate King from my dojo!

- But...
- You guys go stretch out, get to work.

- Oh, Rudy.
- All right.

[Whispering] Yes, hello.

Can I order one of those
free Chuck Banner clocks?

Wait, what?! $ for
shipping and handling?!

I'll take two!

[Rock music playing]

- ♪ Don't...
- ♪Don't...

- ♪You...
- ♪You...

♪Get all tough with me!

♪I'm saying...

- ♪Won't...
- ♪Won't...

- ♪You...
- ♪You...

♪Come kick it with me?

♪And we could have a
ball, run up the wall!

- ♪That's just how we do.
- ♪Come on!

♪And no matter how much I chop and punch
it's not as cool as kicking it with you.

♪Here we go, let's start the party!

♪Chop it up like it's karate.

♪Everybody!

- ♪Don't...
- ♪ Don't...

- ♪You...
- ♪You...

♪Get all tough with me!

♪I'm saying...

- ♪ Won't...
- ♪Won't...

- ♪You...
- ♪You...

♪Come kick it with me?

♪And we could have a
ball, run up the wall!

- ♪That's just how we do.
- ♪Come on!

♪And no matter how much I chop and punch
it's not as cool as kicking it with you.

[Music]

Hey, Rudy, there's something
I want to talk to you about.

Hang on, I just have to
finish my Shin-Do practice.

Okay, I'm good.

Check it out. The big Sensei tournament
is going to be at the Seaford Civic Center.

The final round is
going to be televised.

Oh...

Winning this tournament in my hometown
would be even better publicity than when

I became a hero by jumping into the
bay and saving that man in a wheelchair.

He was only in the bay because
your car bumped into him...

A hero!

I was thinking that...

Maybe I could enter the tournament.

What?

Jack, you're not a Sensei.

Rudy, I'm a second-degree black
belt, I win all of my tournaments...

I really think I'm ready
to take the next step.

Jack, just because you
have a donkey in the barn

doesn't mean you know
how to plow a field.

- What does that mean?
- No idea.

Now the point is there's just
so much more I have to teach you.

Do you want to learn the
ancient martial art of Shin-Do?

I shin-don't.

It looks lame.

Lame? You harness your opponent's
energy and use it against them.

Rudy, why would I do
that when I can do this?

Hi-yah!

Jack, there's more to being a
Sensei than flying side kicks.

It requires a level of maturity
that you have yet to achieve.

[Door opens]

Ooh ooh, they're here! They're here!

[Excited squeals]

[Laughs]

It's time to kick butt!

Hiyah! It's time to kick butt! Hiyah!

Oh, Chuck Banner is a poser, but
this clock is half past awesome!

All three of these foods are brown.

How do I know which is which?

The broccoli's got the congealed fat,
the mac and cheese has got the mold.

And the pot roast's got
the fat and the mold.

Look at Jerry's meatball.
It's like a rock.

No, it's not.

[Thuds]

You can eat a rock.

You know what? Something has got to be
done about the food in the cafeteria.

I am sick of it.

- Marge?
- You guys want seconds?

All: No!

Look, Marge, there's no nice way to
put this, so I'm just going to be blunt.

Marge...

Your food stinks.

There better be another woman named
Marge standing right behind me.

We want better food! Am I right, people?

[Chanting] Better food, better food!

Better food, better food...

Oh, that's it!

You think it's easy putting
lukewarm meals out every day?

Peeling onions, chopping
carrots, erasing expiration dates.

You know what? You guys
don't appreciate me?

I'm outta here.

I'm removing my apron, my
gloves, and my hairnet...

Where's my hairnet? Oop, where...

It's in my soup.

Gimme that!

Come on, people, let's go. [Snaps]

Hey, guys, you know what?

With Marge gone, Principal Funderburk
is gonna have to find a new replacement.

So trust me, this is
gonna work out great.

I can't believe we're
the new lunch ladies.

I can't believe I
have to wear a hairnet.

I can't believe I have to wear three.

Hey!

I recognize you from your commercial.

Oh, thanks, we're really proud...

It was horrible.

- But you were good.
- Thank you.

You're... you're Chuck
Banner, the Karate King.

How'd you know? [Chuckles]

Just a guess.

Jack, you remind me of Young Me.

I remind you of you?

No, Young Me the Chinese Grandmaster.

He was a Sensei at .

Wait, really?

I'm , but I'm not a Sensei.

You know what I say to that? Boo Hoo.

- You gonna cry?
- No.

Boo Hoo the black belt.

Whose master never let
him become a Sensei.

You come over to Karate King
and I'll make you a Sensei.

And with that comes honor,
prestige and ka-ching.

Let me guess... ka-ching is
another Sensei who works for you?

Ka-ching is an expression for making a
whole lot of money. What's wrong with you?

♪ Kickin' it with you!

As you all know they're holding a
Sensei tournament right here in Seaford.

And one student amongst you
has risen above all the others.

I think someone's about
to become a Sensei. Heh.

- Jack I would like to officially ask you..
- Rudy, hang on one second.

I'd like to say something first.

Although I'm about to become a Sensei,
I will always be your friend-sei.

Jack, I was going to ask you if you'd
be my corner man in the tournament.

What?

You want me to empty your spit
bucket and carry your shoes?

Congratulations, friend-sei.

Ooh!

Ah, chicken florentine
with mushroom Risotto.

Now that's a lunch.

Great! We're just going
to need more plates.

What?!

It took me five hours to make this one!

What? What are we going to do?
We gotta feed them something.

[Whimpers]

Who's ready to serve up some
famous Martinez gumbo ya-ya?

I can't believe it! This
stuff smells so good.

- Jerry, you saved us!
- I didn't know you knew how to make gumbo.

Gumbo is just the Cajun word for...

[Cajun accent] Throw it in de'er.

A little bullion, a little
onion, a little chick-on.

[Regular voice] And some ketchup.

Excuse me, ah.

[Growls]

Whatever is in that
pot just growled at me.

[Growls]

This gumbo's fighting back.

[Splashes]

Ah, don't worry, I'll get it.

Wah! Help! Ah, help!

I'm in a bit of a... situati-on.

- Stop! Ah ah!
- [Growling]

Ah!

Good, Jack, I'm glad you're here.

Let's work on our
spit-bucket technique.

If I get dazed out there, spit could
be coming at you from every angle.

So try to follow my mouth.

I'm not going to be
your corner man, Rudy.

[Gurgles] What do you mean you're
not going to be my corner man?

I'm going to be competing.

What?

You can't compete.
It's only for Senseis.

I am a Sensei.

At Karate King.

You're a who at where now?!

I'll see you later, Rudy.

Wha...

It's time to kick butt! Hiyah!

- It's time to kick butt! Hiyah!
- Aw, shut it!

It's time to kick butt!
Hiyah! It's time to kick butt!

- Hiyah! It's time to kick...
- [Grunts]

- It's time to kick butt! Hiyah!
- [Screams]

It's time to kick butt! Hiyah!

Say what you want
about that Chuck Banner.

The man knows how to make a clock!

♪ Kickin' it with you!

[Music]

Oh, look who's here to sign
up for tomorrow's tournament.

Everybody bow, it's Sensei Jack.

No, he's not a real Sensei! Stop bowing!

Well, Chuck Banner thinks I am.

Oh really? Um, was Chuck there
when you broke your first board?

Or-or when you got your black belt?

Or when you were so nervous you
wet your pants before nationals?

That wasn't me, Rudy. That was you.

Stupid hotel with that
all-you-can-drink lemonade bar.

The point is I know you.

And I want you to become a
Sensei, but when you're ready.

Well, I think I'm ready now. Excuse me.

I have a tournament to sign up for.

Um, as your Sensei, I am removing
your name from the sign-up sheet.

Well, as my own Sensei, I am putting
my name back on the sign-up sheet.

Can't sign up without a pen. Ha ha!

Your problem is you're jealous of Chuck.

Why would I be jealous?

Maybe because he owns dojos
across the country and you own one.

I could own dojos. I just have
neither the money nor the ability.

Just face it, Jack. The
guy's a pompous blowhard.

No, he's not, Rudy. He takes
his karate very seriously.

Woo! The King is in the house!

Hiyah!

Here's your wizard weenie.

We make magic in your mouth!

Marge, we need you back.

Milton: We tried to do your job
and we realized how hard it is.

And how good my food is?

We realized how hard it is.

Please consider coming back.

I'm not coming back. You
guys didn't appreciate me.

Besides, I've never been happier.

Pushing around a weenie wagon?

You don't know what makes
me happy, little girl.

Besides, my dream is dead.

Your dream is to marry
Denzel Washington.

That is not a dream.
D-wash will be mine.

I'm talking about
opening up a restaurant.

Marge's Home Style Barbecue.

Ooh, I need a bathroom break.

They make you do everything
in this stupid wizard code.

Base, this is Marge. I need to
use the cave of despair... pronto!

Why do they call it the cave of despair?

Have you been in the
food court bathroom?

You guys, we're gonna make
Marge's dream come true.

- Knock knock.
- Who's there?

Worst ninja ever!

[Giggles]

Get it? Because he just knocked, and
he literally said worst ninja ever.

That is so not a good ninja, am I right?

Wow, nice Gi, Jack.

Uh... what dojo are you with again?

Right?

Got your fancy Gi, your
matching wrist bands...

Bet you're even wearing
Karate King underp...

Yes, unfortunately I am.

You know, you're going up against
Byron Kavanaugh in the first round.

He's a master of Muay Thai.

- He's probably gonna come at you...
- I don't need your help anymore, Rudy.

Be that way.

But I am not telling you the hilarious joke
I've been telling all the other Senseis.

- Worst ninja ever? It's not funny.
- It is the way I tell it!

[Instrumental music playing]

[Cheering]

[Grunting]

- [Bones cr*ck]
- [Kicking]

You sure Marge is going to show up?

I sent her a text that
should get her attention.

Where is he? Where's
my beautiful Denzel?

- He's not here.
- What?

You lied to me?

That's it. I'm tired of this, okay?

- [Shrieks]
- No no no, Marge, Marge, calm down.

We know you gave up on your dream of
opening Marge's Home Style Barbecue.

But we didn't.

What are you talking about?

[Country music plays]

[Gasps]

This is exactly how I
pictured it in my dreams.

Okay, look... your restaurant's going to
be filled with hungry customers in an hour.

And we got you something.

[Gasps]

I can't believe you guys
did this just for me.

You children better turn
away. I'm an ugly crier.

Aw, you're crying because you're happy.

- [Sobbing]
- That's just beautif...

She is an ugly crier.

For lunch today we're
having barbecued ribs,

baked beans and Marge's
special cornbread.

Dig in, I'm going to make
seconds, everybody. Woo!

Well, the best part of this food
is that we didn't have to make it.

It actually looks pretty good.

It smells pretty good.

You think we should give it a try?

[Gagging]

All right, people. Don't panic.

There are barf bags under your seats.

- Marge: Who wants dessert?
- Boy: Oh no!

Please proceed in a
calm, orderly fashion.

Exit in a single-file line.
Bathrooms are out to the left.

♪ Kickin' it with you!

Wow, Jerry's really getting
into being Rudy's new corner man.

Oh look, he's going to do that old
globe trotters gag with the spit bucket.

It looks like he's going
to throw it on the crowd,

but there's nothing in it but confetti.

Oop. Sorry, wrong bucket.

Gah!

[Dramatic music playing]

Woohoo, yeah-hhhh!

Ladies and gentleman!

You all know me, I'm Chuck
Banner the Karate King...

Best new dojo in town.

Please welcome my new Sensei.

And the man who's going
to bring home the gold!

- Jack Brewer!
- [Rock music playing]

[Cheers]

Ladies and gentlemen, from
The Bobby Wasabi Dojo...

Sensei Rudy Gillespie...

[Echoing]... espie espie espie.

- [Boom box clicks]
- [Pop music playing]

- [Coldly] Rudy.
- Jack.

- Go Rudy!
- Go Jack!

- Go Jack!
- Go Rudy!

[Applause, cheering]

[Grunting]

[Bell dings]

[Applause, cheers]

He's countering every one of my strikes.

Do you have any martial arts advice?

Try to win. It's good for business.

Wait, hang on a second, you're not
even a real black belt, are you?

I'm a black belt at making
money, I can tell you that.

Now get out there and make me look good.

[Bell dings]

[Mystical music playing]

- Ah!
- [Bell dings]

[Cheering]

Rudy, what was that form? I've
never seen anything like it.

Sure you have, that's Shin-Do.

Wow, man. You know,
I owe you an apology.

You were right. I'm not
ready to be a Sensei yet.

You will be.

Great job, Jack. The camera
got some great logo sh*ts.

You know what, Chuck?

I have a lot more to learn and I
want Rudy to be the one to teach me.

Okay, fine. Moving on.

Rudy, nice moves.

- What do you say you join...
- Not interested, Chuck.

All right, fine.

But I'm the one leaving in a Ferrari
with two supermodels and an orangutan.

I'll see you losers later.

Rudy, none of that's important.

The important thing is is
that you're leaving here

with four kids who absolutely
love and respect you.

And you know, the moral
of the story is that...

- Rudy?
- Wait up, Chuck! I call shotgun!

[Music]

- Jack: Hey, Rudy, where you been?
- I finally did it.

I destroyed the Chuck Banner clock.

Yeah. I dropped it off the third story,

hit it a few hundred
times with a cinder block.

Then I ran over it with
my buddy's steamroller.

I'll never have to hear Chuck
Banner's dumb voice again.

It's time to kick butt! Hiyah!

What?! I don't believe
it, it still works!

It's time to kick butt! Hiyah!

That's it, I'm finding a
volcano and I'm throwing it in.

Hiyah! It's time to kick butt! Hiyah!

It's time to kick butt! Hiyah!

It's time to kick butt! Hiyah!

- Jerry.
- Okay, don't you people Judge me.

That clock really is half past awesome.

- It's time to kick butt!
- Hiyah!