08x18 - Emmett's Brother-in-Law

[bunniefuu]

Hmm.

Hey.

Big engine, huh?

Boy, it sure is.

You say it belongs
to Emmett's brother

yeah. Emmett dropped it off
for me to grease and oil.

Hmm.

Bet this baby's got power.

-horse.

?! Wow!

Boy, that's a lot of power.

You can say that again.

Hi, fellas.

Hi, Emmett. Oh, hi, Emmett.
Hey, Emmett.

Say, you got this thing
finished, goober?

Yeah, it's all done.

Your brother

yeah.

Say, my wife told me
to ask you fellas

to come over
to the house tonight

if you ain't doing anything.

Oh, well, uh, fine.

Is that supposed to be
an invitation?

Yeah, it's an invitation.

You don't make it sound
too inviting.

Look, it's a party
for my brother-in-law.

What do you want me to do,
get down on my knees?

What, is he just in town
on a visit?

Yeah.

He comes by once a year

just to let me know
how much money he's making.

What does he do for a living?

He owns a big insurance agency
in Raleigh.

Got offices all over the state.

Mr. Big.
Never lets me forget it.

He doesn't sound like
one of your favorite relatives.

Oh, I can take him
in small doses.

What time do you want us over
tonight, Emmett?

About : .

Does that mean
it's not for supper?

If it was for supper,
I'd have said "supper."

Well, I couldn't tell.

: means supper,
: means coffee and cake,

but : don't mean nothin'.

: means you'll get
corned beef and potato salad

at : .

Well, okay.

Don't do that!

This thing finished, goober?

Yeah, I told you it's done.

Well, he'll come by
and pay you later.

I'm just his chauffeur.
See you all.

Okay, Emmett.
Take it easy, Emmett.

Close the hood, will you?

So long.

It must be rough sometimes

having a big, successful
brother-in-law in the family.

Oh, Emmett does all right.

Yeah, but he don't drive
a big car like that.

Well, they're nice to have,
but they're not everything.

Emmett's got a good life.

He's got good friends
and a nice wife.

Those things are important.

Well, they got to be
if you ain't got a big car.

You can just put it
on the coffee table.

Yes, dear.

Where's Ben?

He's upstairs
making some business calls.

He said to tell you
he's reversing the charges.

Like I can't afford
a few phone calls.

Well, he's just being
considerate, Emmett.

Okay, dear. Okay.

Is it : already?

Oh, goober. Come in.
Hey, Martha.

Emmett didn't say if it
was gonna be formal or not,

so I figured
I better play it safe.

Sit down, goober.

Hey, Emmett.

How are you, goober?

Hey, I see you got
some of that special dip again.

Is that for now or later?

Whenever you want it.

Oh, thanks.

Just help yourself, goob.

It's good.

I don't know what those folks
would do at the office

if I ever took a vacation.

Ben, I want you to meet
goober pyle.

Goober, this is my brother.

Nice to know you, pyle.

Nice to know you.

I was the one
that greased your car.

I always did have
a lot of respect

for a fella
who works with his hands.

Thanks to goodness
I never did have to.

I don't know one end of
a monkey wrench from the other.

Ben is
in the insurance business.

I told him, I told him.

You know, when I first went
into the insurance business,

Mr. Goober,
I said to myself, I said,

"Ben, you either got
what it takes or you haven't."

Goober's my first name.

Oh, fine, fine.

I always like to keep things
on a first-name basis.

Anyway,
one week after I opened up,

I sold my first policy.

That same day, I sold another.

Then my business
started to boom...

Oh, Andy, Helen.
Come in.

Oh, and Howard.

Yeah, we met on the street.

Hi, Emmett.

Ben, I'd like you to meet

Helen crump, Andy Taylor,
and Howard sprague.

Ah, nice to know you,

miss crump, Mr. Taylor,
Mr. Sprague.

Shall we sit down?

Oh, thank you.

Mr. Taylor, just what kind
of business you in?

Oh, I'm the sheriff
here in town.

Oh, wonderful! Wonderful!

You didn't happen to notice

that bumper sticker
on my car out front,

the one with the vinyl top?

Uh, no, I didn't.

"Support your local police."

Got it right on the back bumper.
But don't thank me none.

I'm just happy
to help you boys out.

We appreciate it.

Won't somebody have some dip?

Thanks.

Uh, you work in town here,
Mr. Sprague?

Oh, uh, yes.
I'm in government work.

I'm the, uh, I'm...
I'm the town clerk.

Oh, wonderful, wonderful.

I always had a lot of respect
for you boys

who kept the records straight
for the rest of us.

I personally don't have
that kind of temperament

for that sort of a thing.

I'm in the insurance business.

What brings you to Mayberry,
mister, uh...

Beecham.

And what brings me to Mayberry?

Well, I'll tell you, miss crump.

For a long time, I've had
the feeling that this area...

Mayberry, mt. Pilot,
and siler city...

Is an untapped source
for insurance.

And I'm here looking for someone

to represent
the Ben beecham agency.

Have you had any luck?

Not yet, but I don't expect
to find a real experienced man,

just someone who's lived here,
knows the people,

and I'll teach him
how to sell insurance.

Sounds like
a very lucrative job.

Definitely.

Why, a fella can make hisself
$ , a year.

$ , ?

That's right, sis.

And you know, for one minute,

if I thought Emmett here was
the least bit interested in it,

I would offer it to him.

Me? I got a business.

Well, Emmett,
if Ben is interested in you...

I just want to try
to help out the family.

I don't need any help.
I'm doin' fine.

I think you should at least
give it some thought

if Ben is nice enough
to make you an offer like this.

Look, I'm satisfied
with what I'm doing now.

Besides, I don't think
this is anything

we should discuss
in front of our friends here.

I won't say another word.

Anybody want some dip?

Thanks.

Emmett, the last thing
in the world I want to do

is to influence you.

All right, then,
why don't we drop it?

Because how many opportunities
in life do you have like this?

What's the big opportunity?

Well, according to Ben,

you could more than double
your income.

We don't need any more money.

Oh, Emmett,
everybody could use more money.

Besides,
working as an insurance salesman

instead of in a fix-it shop
is, well...

More classy, huh?

But I didn't mean exactly that.

You mean I'd be going around
in a shirt and a tie

instead of a dirty old apron?

Well, let's face it,

it definitely would have
many advantages.

We might even start socializing

with those people
on the north side of town.

I'm satisfied
with the friends I've got now.

Look, all I'm asking

is that you don't make
a hasty decision about this.

All right.

All right.

I won't make a hasty decision.

Now are you satisfied?

Good night, dear.

Good night, Martha.

Hi, Andy.
Oh, hi, Emmett.

You know, uh, I'm sorry
that you had to get mixed up

in that family discussion
last night.

Oh. Well, that
didn't bother me.

That Ben,
he's really not a bad sort.

No, I don't expect he is.

You know, he comes on
a little strong sometimes,

but he's all right.

Oh, sure.

Uh, Andy, uh, I wonder

if you could do me
a little favor.

Well, just name it.

Here's the key to my shop.

I'm closing it up.

And when the folks come back

to get the stuff
I've been working on,

maybe give it to 'em?

Well, yeah, I'd be glad to.

You're takin'
that insurance job?

Oh, yeah, yeah, sure.
I'm takin' it.

I'd be crazy

to pass up an opportunity
like that, you know.

Uh, more dough,
step up in class a little.

I'm leavin' for Raleigh
with Ben today.

I gotta take a training course
for a week,

uh, learn all about the policies
and everything.

You look kind of surprised,
Andy.

Oh, oh, no, no, no.
It's not that.

It's just... last night
you seemed so positive

about not considering it.

Oh, well, with Ben and everybody
sittin' there,

I didn't want to seem
too anxious.

Oh, oh.

But I-I discussed it
with Martha later,

and I said, "this is a chance
of a lifetime,"

and so, um, will you do
that little favor for me?

Oh, yeah.
I'll be glad to.

I still got a month or so
on the lease.

I suppose I could just put up
a sign... "out of business."

Well, yeah.

Well, I'll see ya
when I get back from Raleigh.

Right. Right, right.

And, listen...

Congratulations.

Huh?

I said, "congratulations."

Oh, yeah.

Thanks.

Tried waiting up for you
last night,

but it got so late,
I fell asleep.

Oh, we left Raleigh
: last night

and pulled in here
around midnight.

How did Emmett do
in the training course?

Fine, fine.

I gave him my personal
attention all week long.

I'm gonna make a first-rate
insurance salesman out of him.

Ben, we appreciate all this
so much.

Nonsense, sis... nonsense.

If a fella can't help out
his family once in a while,

it's a pretty sad thing.

I'm sure Emmett will be happy
selling insurance.

Won't he, Ben?

There's no question about it.

Hi.

Emmett, you look wonderful!

Appearance is important.

I took him to my own tailor.

I just like for all my men

to be as well dressed as I am.

Real nutty outfit, heh?

Well, let's go.

I'm going with him
on his first call

to make sure that
he gets the feel of it.

Oh, that's nice.
Isn't that nice, Emmett?

Yeah.

Emmett, remember
what I told you.

Always keep it
in your left side over here

so you're prepared

to shake hands with the man
immediately.

And have you got
your little calendars

to give out to each prospect?

Yeah.
Keep them in your right pocket

so you can whip them out
in a hurry

and keep the name
of Ben beecham insurance

in front of them.

Got them right here.

All right, let's go.

What about my breakfast?

Later, later, later.

See you later, Martha.

Oh, I'm real proud of you.

I know you'll do just fine.

Thanks.

Like I said, Emmett,

always keep your briefcase
in your left hand

and calendars
in your right pocket

so you can whip them out
in a hurry

and keep the name of Ben beecham
in front of them.

Hi, Andy.

Well, hi, Emmett.
Good to see you back.

Briefcase, briefcase.

Hello, Andy.

Hi, again.

Hi, Taylor.

Mr. Beecham.

Uh, calendar, calendar.

Oh, yeah.

There you are... a calendar.

Tells you
all the days of the year.

Gee.

Emmett's paying you
quite an honor, sheriff.

He picked you as his first call
as an insurance salesman.

He wanted to start
with strangers,

but I said,
"what are friends for?"

Well.

Hope you don't mind, Andy.

Never start a sale
by being defensive, Emmett.

You know you're selling
something important.

You're doing the customer
a favor.

Always remember that.

Right.

Oh, won't you sit down?

Oh, yeah.

Andy, like...
Well, like Ben says,

I'm here to see you
about insurance,

and Ben's here to...

Oh, I'm just here to look on,
sheriff.

I always go out with my new men
on their first call,

kind of help 'em along.

Just pretend that I'm not here.

Go ahead, Emmett.

Andy, insurance is something
you gotta think about in advance

so that it's there
when you need it.

It's my job
to help you figure out...

No, no, no, no.
Not "figure out."

He can figure 'em out himself.

Emmett is here to help establish
your most important needs.

Yeah, that's what I'll do...
Help you establish...

Establish your needs.

Uh, brochure, brochure,
brochure.

Andy...

Hey, that's a nice briefcase.

Yeah.
The company gives them to you.

It's, um, uh...

Oh!

Upside down, I guess.

Oh, Andy,
here's a brochure here.

Now, you can see right here...

Emmett!

Emmett, get up.

Get up, Emmett.
Get up.

Find out what kind of insurance
he's interested in.

Oh, yeah.

What kind of insurance
are you interested in, Andy?

Find out by telling the
different kinds of insurance.

I was gonna do that next.

All right, then do it your way.

I won't say another word,
not unless you need help.

Um, Emmett, um,
I'll tell you the truth...

The state
gives me life insurance,

and I get hospitalization

through
the sheriffs association.

Oh.

Well, thanks for your time
anyhow, Andy.

Hold it, Emmett.
Just a minute.

There's other types of policies,
you know.

Sheriff,
did you ever think about...

Hey, hey, Emmett,
here's a good one for Opie.

Which one's that?

This one here where
he gets $ , when he's .

Hey, that would be a good one
for Opie, wouldn't it?

You just bought yourself
a policy, sheriff.

Andy, if you'll just fill out
this card later

when you get a chance,

the company will make out
a policy for you.

Thanks, Andy.

I always meant
to get one of these.

You did the right thing,
and if anything comes up,

you deal with me directly.

Get right on that phone
and call me collect.

I don't think
that'll be necessary.

Oh. Right.

See ya later, sheriff.

See ya, Andy.

Emmett, I'm gonna be truthful
with you...

I've seen better first calls.

Well, I need practice.

Maybe.

Anyway, I'm gonna let you
make the next call alone

to prove that I have
full confidence in you.

Now go get 'em, boy.

Hiya, goober.

Hi, Emmett.

Hey, you look snappy.

Oh, thanks.

Hey, what are you doin' there?

I'm tryin' to fix my toaster.

You're sellin' life insurance
now, I hear.

Yeah, that's right.

Did you check the Springs?

They seem all right.

How about your timer?

I haven't got to it yet.

Here.

Let me have a look at that.

What you got in the case?

Huh?

Oh.

Hi, goober.

Hi.

We already said hi.

Oh, well, uh, here's a calendar.

Oh, thanks.

Uh, goober,
insurance is something

you gotta think about in advance

so you'll have it
when you need it.

Now, it's my job
to help you figure... no...

Uh, to establish...
Establish what your needs are.

I want to buy
some life insurance

because I've heard the younger
you buy, the cheaper it is.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, yeah.

Well, I'll show you
how that works out

on the rate card.

Now, uh...

You know, I'll bet
your trouble's in that timer.

I've probably fixed
of them things,

and that's always
the first place I look.

Well, I'll check it.

You see, you take out
them two little screws...

I thought you were gonna show me
the rate card.

Oh, yeah.
Well, oh, here we are.

Here's a policy that's got
a lot of good coverage,

run you about $ a month.

That sounds about right.

What are some of the things
about it?

Uh, look, goober,

why don't you
read up on it yourself?

I can check back later.

You see, once you get
those two little screws out,

then you can remove the bracket
that holds the timer.

Now, it takes
a lot of experience.

It's kind of tricky to work.

And I made
a special study of timers...

Are you sure

you don't want to go
to the second movie

with me and Howard?

No, not tonight.

Well, we still got
plenty of time, you know.

It's only : .

No, I'll pass.

Well, we still got
a half-hour to k*ll.

Yeah.

Did Emmett
sell you a policy today?

Yeah.
I bought one for Opie.

He sold me one, too.

Yeah, he came up to see me,

but I haven't decided what kind
of coverage I need yet.

You know, it's a funny thing...

I was workin' on my toaster,

and he couldn't keep
his hands off of it.

He likes to putter.

I finally took it away from him.

You know, I wonder if Martha
made him take that job.

Wives do that sometimes,
you know.

No, Emmett's got
a mind of his own.

A lot of married men think
they got minds of their own,

but they really ain't.

In my opinion...

Mnh!

Hello?

Oh, hello, Martha.

It's Martha.

Andy, have you by any chance
seen Emmett

in the last few hours?

No, I haven't, Martha.
Wait a minute.

Martha's looking for Emmett.

Have either one of you seen him
in the last couple of hours?

He come by my place
about : ,

but I don't know
where he went from there.

Goober said he came by his place
about : ,

but he doesn't know
where he went from there.

And he was up at my place
about : , I'd say.

Howard said he was
up at his place about : .

Well, I know he was with Ben
early in the day,

but Ben came back
and left for Raleigh.

I can't understand
why he hasn't called.

Well, I'm sure there's nothing
to worry about, Martha.

I guess he's just out
calling on some clients.

You know, sometimes it's hard

to catch a businessman
during the day.

Yeah.

Well, listen,
if you're worried about it,

why don't you come on down here,

and we'll start
tracking him down.

Okay. Fine.

Bye.

Probably like you said...
Callin' on some clients.

Yeah, probably.

Hey, want some pie
and coffee before the movie?

Hey, yeah. Okay. Swell.

We'll see ya, Andy.

Oh, thank you.

Okay, thanks.

All right, bye.

I can't understand
where he could be.

He's always home by : .

Oh, I'm sure there's nothing
to worry about, Martha.

Maybe so.

Andy, uh, did Emmett come
in here to sell you a policy?

Oh, yeah, and I bought one.

I-I don't quite know
how to ask you this...

But it... it's something
that has me a little worried.

Andy...

Does Emmett seem happy
doing what he's doing?

Well, yeah.

Yeah, I'd say so...

But, of course, now,

you would be
the best judge of that.

This job is such
a wonderful opportunity for him,

but I do want him to be happy.

Well,
I certainly understand that.

Better make
a few more phone calls.

Andy!
Andy!

We passed the fix-it shop.
There's a light on in there.

There is?
Sure is.

Wait a minute, Martha.
It might be a prowler.

See?

Want to take a look, Martha?

Come on, now.
I know you can do it.

There's nothing the matter
with you.

There! You did it!
I knew you could do it!

That's a fine piece of toast.

He looks so happy.

Well, like I said,
you're the best judge of that.

Come on, guys.

I knew you could do it,
you old son of a g*n!

It was in your timer,
just like I told goober it was!

All we had to do was get those
two little screws out of there

and tighten up
that little old timer,

and you're making the most
beautiful toast I ever did see!

Look at the way
that it came out.

Isn't it beautiful?
Magnificent, ain't it?

It's just a bad plug.

I'll have that fixed
in no time at all.

Uh...

This?

Oh, thanks, Andy.

Thanks, Howard.

Hey, listen, did you ever regret

giving up
the insurance business?

Not for a second.

You know, for the last two
weeks, I've been a new man.

Well, a man has to do
what he wants to do

to be happy.

Yeah, and that's a great
little wife I got, too.

Yeah, you're lucky.

Hey, did your brother-in-law
find anybody

to take your place
in the territory?

Not the last we heard.

Although he did say something

about getting somebody
to do it part-time.

Well, I guess that's better
than nothing.

Yeah.

Hi, Emmett. Howard.

Goober.

Hey, Andy.

I've got these calendars
for you.