03x06 - Face Your Demons

[bunniefuu]

Jazz: Previously on "I Am Jazz"...

Jazz: "It's absolutely
horrific that a child

would be given hormone blockers

when a teenage girl or boy

would never be ethically
allowed to be neutered."

Jazz has always been a target for hate,

but since she's really
active in social media,

it's only gotten worse.

I really don't think there's
any problems with my life

that I'm not aware of.

I worry, 'cause Jazz suffers
from clinical depression.

You think some random
individual who doesn't even know

who I am internally and doesn't
know my thought processes

will have the answers to my questions?

No!

Have you ever heard
of dating in the dark?

Like, legit, where
people date in the dark?

Hi, nice to meet you.

Hello, nice to meet you.

Do you mind if I get your number?

Sure.

It's the first time in my entire life

that a guy has asked for my number.

So I'm really excited and
I'm hoping that he texts me.

Jazz: years ago, I was
assigned male at birth,

but inside, I always knew I was a girl.

I have a girl brain and a boy body.

Being transgender hasn't been easy.

This is definitely not,
like, a straightforward case.

I don't think you have many
options for a vaginoplasty.

- I had a great time.
- I had a lot of fun.

Have a great night.

- Now, it sounds like a date.
- It's not a date!

But it's made me who I am.

I am Jazz.

♪♪

Jazz: This drew my eye right away.

Do you like red?

Red actually suits me well.

I'm going shopping with Jay,

and since we go to different schools,

it's just a great way
for us to catch up.

I'm a velvet girl.

I think I look whiter in
red, so I wouldn't wear it.

She always listens
to what I have to say.

I appreciate all of her advice
and I tell her everything.

So you never told me about
the dating in the dark thing.

How was that?

Um...

I'm just going to go back
in the dark for this one.

No, it went well, it did.

It was really cool.

So was it actually dark or could
you see shadows or something?

Okay, no, it was like
pitch-black, basically.

So did you actually meet
anybody that you like?

Um...

Maybe.

Tell me. Who did you meet?

There was only one guy that,
like, I really, really liked.

His name was Shane.

Was he cute in the light or...?

♪♪

I thought he was really, really nice.

And then he asked for my number.

- He asked for your number?
- He asked for my number.

That's so cool. Is this the first time

a guy has ever asked
you for your number?

Yeah, it's definitely kind of cool.

I'm pretty happy that Noelle recommended

dating in the dark to me.

And the fact that Shane asked

for my number is the cherry on top.

And I'm hoping that he calls me.

I don't know if anything's
going to work out with this guy,

but it's still exciting, right?

Yeah. I'm happy you did it.

It sounds like Shane's a
really cool person, very unique.

I haven't heard of many cisgender guys

accepting her being transgender.

And hopefully, it just works out.

Oh, and he likes cats.

Oh, that's good for
you, 'cause you have like

three cats and I go over your house

and I die, 'cause of those things.

I actually have four cats.

Oh, yeah.

[Both laugh]

♪♪

Jeanette: I want to make the bed
look pretty before we go into it.

Am I doing this right?

Am I supposed to go under the blanket?

Yeah, and under the sheet, yeah.

- Okay.
- Like that.

Anyway, we got so busy with pride,

I didn't tell you about
Jazz dating in the dark.

She went with four
complete strangers, like,

and put herself out there
and actually enjoyed it.

And she made a connection.

He was named Shane. [Laughs]

- Another Shane.
- That's a coincidence.

Yeah. And he asked for her phone number.

- She give it to him?
- Yeah.

Like a cis boy, a sweet cis boy...

You get the sense she's interested?

I don't know.

Like, with her, she's sort
of like, she doesn't know.

I'm favorably impressed that
someone who's not transgender,

knowing everything about Jazz,

still said, "I'd like
your phone number."

This is one small step for Jazz

and one giant step for Jazz-kind.

[Both laugh]

I'm going to kind of not
push her too much, but...

That's a good idea.

She's got a lot going
on, I mean, unreal.

She does.

In fact, tomorrow is the
Transgender Day of Remembrance.

I don't know if you remembered, but...

No, I remember.

Jeanette: Transgender Day of Remembrance

is honoring those people

who, during the past
days, have lost their life.

It's sad, 'cause they're going
to list the names of people

who were m*rder*d.

We pay tribute to them and get together

and have a memorial to remember them.

So you can't get out of it this time.

I'm not trying to get out of it.

It's just very hard, as a dad,
to think of that situation.

One of the reasons I haven't gone

to Transgender Day of
Remembrance in the past

is because the purpose of the day

is thinking about people

that have been m*rder*d
just for being transgender.

And it's very hard for me to
think of Jazz in that context.

And, you know, it's something

that I've had to come to terms with,

and I really just need to
be there to support Jazz.

I just feel like we
have so much going on.

And how is it affecting you?

I'm just stressed.

We've got the bottom
surgery stuff looming.

Dr. Reed saying one thing,

then you have Dr. McGinn
saying something else.

And then Dr. salgado really going polar

from what Dr. McGinn says, so...

Even though this has been
our lives for the last like

, years, taking hormones

or letting Jazz wear a dress to school

is nothing compared to major surgery.

Huge decisions are being
made and it's overwhelming.

My stomach's in knots a little bit.

Maybe you should talk to someone.

Why not cousin Debbie?

- She has some insights.
- She certainly does.

She knows most of these
situations that are going on.

I never really get to
chill with her one-on-one.

Well, maybe you set aside
some time if she's willing to.

Yeah.

I'm struggling with the decision.

Like, where are we going?

How do we make our final decision?

And Debbie is a great
person to talk to about this

because she has many
patients who are transgender

who've had surgery

and she's been there counseling them.

♪♪

♪♪

Greg: I got some good news.

Jazz: What?

Especially good news for Mom.

I like good news.

I signed us up for this scuba course.

Yay.

- We're all set to go.
- I'm excited.

Greg: With the kids up at college,

very rarely do we ever
just spend time as a family.

So I wanted to go on a family vacation

to make the most of our time together.

Why can't we just go to an
aquarium and call it a day?

I've never, ever thought
about going scuba diving.

Even when I'm in the
ocean, I'm always afraid

something's going to
bite me or touch me or...

Well, I think scuba diving is a great,

natural excursion for us as a family.

Wait, wait a minute.

Natural to be underwater,
not breathing your own breath?

Okay. You got me on the...

The breathing device, but...

There's nothing natural
about scuba diving.

Jazz: You've never been
to the Transgender Day

of Remembrance, right?

I've never gone before.

I think about you and your advocacy work

and I think about this day,
and it's probably the single

most significant day of the year.

And I just never can get
myself to go in the past.

I'm glad that my dad is coming

to the Transgender Day of Remembrance,

because he has expressed that, you know,

it's really difficult for him
to comprehend the struggles

that transgender people
face and he's scared

because he knows that
I'm at just as much risk

as any other transgender
person out there.

Unfortunately, in U.S.A.,
the number of people

that have been m*rder*d
goes up every year.

That's what's so sad. Like,
it's supposed to be going down.

That's just too bad.

- It's sad.
- No, there should not have

to be a Transgender Day of Remembrance.

That would be great.

But there is one.

♪♪

♪♪

- Ah!
- Hey!

Good to see you.

I'm really excited
to see my friend Lynn.

She's also transgender,

but she hasn't been
transitioning that long.

I'm Noelle. It's nice to meet you.

Oh, yeah, this is Noelle.

I forgot. This is Lynn, by the way.

So I met Lynn at a PSA.

I did a public service
announcement with her.

Sometimes my mom, because she's
very religious, she'll tell me,

that there's a demon inside of me.

And it kind of feels...

It's just really difficult.

Oh, no, I don't want to get
so emotional, but, you know,

I've been so thankful to have the love

and support of my family.

Noelle: How was the PSA for you?

By doing the PSA, it just
felt really relieving,

because when I came out to my mom,

I was too scared to face her, really.

I like, wrote her a letter.

I expressed, "I'm
just me, at this point.

Like, I am who I am right now."

And then we just got into
an argument after that.

It really hurts that my mom's not being

supportive of my transition.

She's just so fixated on
the fact that I'm not normal.

She believes that god
created me a certain way.

But if god created me a certain way,

then why do I feel like this?

It's just come to the
point where it's like,

I don't want to start any conflicts.

So... so you just
don't discuss it at all?

But does she use male pronouns?

She uses male pronouns.

What do you do? Do you speak up?

Yeah, sometimes I will.

And what does she say to that?

She just ignores me.

- For real?
- Yeah.

Jazz: I can't imagine
how tough it is for Lynn,

because I know if her mother sees her

wearing nail Polish, she gets scolded.

If her mother sees any girl clothes,

then she'll be grounded.

And it's just really upsetting,

because this is denying
who Lynn really is.

Never give up, okay?

'Cause I know... I know it can be hard.

You have me and I know you
have other really close friends

and, you know, things will get better.

Because I've been living my
life as a girl for so long,

I feel like it's my obligation

to take, you know,

other trans kids like
Lynn under my wing.

I just want to be there
to stand by her side.

Is the bullying getting better?

There are times where people
would just like, come up to me

and call me tr*nny or something.

But at least you get to be here today.

Yeah.

Everyone here is trans,
everyone here can understand

what, like, all of us are going through.

I can sympathize with Lynn,
because I've been transitioning

for almost two years now.

But I've developed sort of a
thick skin to people's hate.

Whoever and no matter where
it comes from, it hurts.

We can stop bullying
if we spread awareness.

I know, like, I've done
little things like videos,

like Facebook lives.

I think Facebook live would be

a great thing for
Lynn to participate in,

because she has a perspective
that Noelle and I can't offer.

She doesn't have the
support of her family.

Online communities can
be a great place for kids

who are getting bullied or
feel like they are outsiders.

And I think that Lynn
has a very powerful voice.

- You want to do it?
- Yeah, I'm down. Let's go.

- Yeah!
- [Laughs]

We're going to do this thing with Noelle

that's like a Facebook live chat.

You can't really control
who's watching a Facebook live

and there might be a lot of people

who disagree with what Jazz is saying.

This sounds like a recipe
for some not such nice calls.

♪♪

_

_

Today, we come together
to reflect every member,

our brothers and sisters,

who have met their death
through anti-transgender hatred.

Each year, we become more
aware of the atrocities

that our transgender community suffers

at the hands of those
who fail to realize

that people are people and love is love.

Jazz: I can't comprehend
how in this world,

just by being myself,

I am a target for
possible violent bullies.

This is a special community
that has suffered through

the worst possible discrimination.

As we remember those we've lost,
I want to focus on the brave,

strong, and honorable ways

they lived as their true selves.

Greg: Just the fact that
there's a Transgender Day

of Remembrance each year is just...

It's just horrible to even think about.

Why should a community
have to go through that year

after year after year?

First of all, I'm very
humble to be here today.

I'm sad to be here today.

Um...

_

I knew at seven years old,
when they were trying to get me

to play basketball and football

and speaking to me in a
tone I didn't understand,

but I could understand when
they spoke to my sisters,

I knew I was different.

I was the first male
child in three generations.

And I decided I had to try
everything manly possible,

and I joined the army at .

On a leave, I went into a drag bar,

and a young entertainer
came to me and said,

"where'd you get those cheek bones from?

Girls will k*ll for those cheek bones."

[Light laughter]

So I've never really got
the passable word thing,

'cause I've never
thought I was passable.

[Voice breaking] I wake
up every morning ashamed.

I wake up every morning guilty.

Embarrassment is the worst feeling

and does more damage
than hate does, people.

Greg: It was very emotional
listening to Shawn.

I know that in a way,
Jazz has things easier

by having a loving,

supporting family and
having a roof over her head,

which not all transgender people do.

And I feel sadness knowing
there's a significant part

of the transgender population

that has a very difficult time.

_

_

_

_

_

_

No matter how many times
I've heard horror stories

of those people that
have struggled within

the transgender community,
it's still overwhelming.

There's so much pain and
hurt out there and we need

to keep advocating for trans people.

♪♪

♪♪

You guys ready to be aqua men and women?

- Mm-hmm.
- I'm aqua excited.

We got away from our
classes for a weekend,

so it's awesome to go scuba diving

and spend some time with family.

Who's looking forward to this?

I'm excited.

Isn't this on your
bucket list, Jeanette?

- No.
- It's on mine.

You know what?

There's certain things that
you save for when you're older.

And you miss the window
of opportunity and you

just keep going by. It's okay.

What have you guys been up to at home?

Anything change down here?

I mean, we had the
Transgender Day of Remembrance.

I got to see my friend Lynn
and we're going to do this thing

with Noelle that's, like
a Facebook live chat.

It's going to be, like, about bullying.

Is it just questions...
You read questions

and then answer or...?

Well, they, people, they ask questions.

Also, we're going to have, like, a phone

where people could call in.

On the live Facebook?

Yeah.

But it sounds like a recipe
for some not such nice calls.

So what exactly do you hope to
accomplish by this video chat?

'Cause it feel like
it's definitely a recipe

for possible hate mail.

- Hate calls.
- I mean...

You can't really control
who's watching a Facebook live

and there might be a lot of people

who disagree with what Jazz is saying.

Jazz: My goal is that, you
know, people will watch it

and it'll give hope and
encouragement to kids

out there who may be getting bullied.

In the past, I've been
confronted with hate.

You know, either it's the radio
show or the Liberty council.

So you never know about these things.

♪♪

Griffen: We're here!
Time to go scuba diving!

Man: Hey, guys, how's it going?

You guys are the Jennings?

You're here for your
discovery scuba diving?

- Yes, we are.
- Awesome.

Well, my name's Tyler.

I'm going to be your instructor today.

We can actually head right
back to the pool, if you'd like?

- Great.
- Sounds perfect.

- Okay.
- Let's ride.

I think the family's
going to have a great time.

It's... it's different.

It's nothing like
anything we've done before.

We're just going to be
out of our own element

and in an element

you only really see on
TV, unless you do it.

Or an aquarium.

All right, guys, so
everybody in your right hand,

you should have the regulator.

Everyone's going to
stick it in your mouth

and you're going to take
three deep breaths, okay.

- Yep, just like that.
- It tastes weird.

- [Honks]
- It's salty.

[Both laugh]

It's like... [Pants]

And then I had, like, flashbacks

to when I was pumping breast milk,

because it sounded the exact same way.

There was this machine I had to
hook myself up to and it went...

Heh-huh, heh-huh, heh-huh.

All right, guys. Who's ready to
take a few breaths underwater?

Let's do it.

You're going to take the tongue,
stick it up against the hole,

the breathing hole here, okay,

and you're going to
press the purge button.

And you can see all the water
get sh*t out of it, right.

Aaah! Sorry.

I just see her eyes
popping out of the goggles.

Great job. Now you feel the air?

We're not quite ready
to go into the ocean yet.

All right, guys, regulators in.

Let's go ahead and kneel down.

♪♪

[Laughter]

Guys, there's no wall in the ocean.

Jeanette: On a scale of one to ,

with being somebody
super-coordinated,

I'm like a . .

♪♪

What'd I do wrong now? I'm sorry.

You're supposed to just watch me.

Oh, okay.

It's very important you keep
the regulator in your mouth,

- all right.
- Okay.

Jeanette: Yeah, Greg,
who was the best and worst

of the scuba diving lesson?

Greg: I would say, if I
had to rank the family,

in terms of best and worst
in the scuba diving...

Start with the worst. Make it easy.

The worst was you. Oops.

Did I just say that? [Laughs]

♪♪

We went scuba diving the other day.

Debbie: How did you do that?!

I... [laughs]

Oh, no.

But, honestly, Debbie, I'm
doing this for the family.

I'm just like, "take me
to a fricking aquarium."

I've got a little of Jacky in me.

You know, like, if I
want to see the fish,

I'll go through one of those, like,

you know, the conveyor
belt, they move you along...

I love those.

Yeah, and, like, that's enough for me.

Jeanette: Debbie is my cousin.

She is a therapist and she specializes

in the transgender community.

She's got a way with words and
she's got a way with people.

She's very therapeutic
to talk to and given

all the stress in my life,

I could really use help.

Anyway, so the real reason
I wanted to talk to you is

because I'm really overwhelmed.

We want Jazz to have her
dream, beautiful vag*na.

Mm-hmm.

And we want her to be able
to have a healthy sex life.

But there is a complication.

She is so suppressed that nothing grew,

and there's one doctor that will not do

a penile inversion,
does not recommend it.

But one of the doctors
that we're leaning toward,

out of town, said that she
would do a penile inversion.

Well, research has gotten that far.

That's the good news,

that we do have more options
and with more options,

there's going to be more anxiety.

How do we know the right thing to do?

It's sort of like back
when Jazz was little.

How do we know?

When Jazz was first transitioning

and I went to look for help to see

if anybody had transitioned, like,

their - or -year-olds,
and I couldn't find anybody.

It was really scary.
It was like the unknown.

And now here we are
again, Jazz is looking

to have her bottom surgery

and it's a little difficult,

because I really haven't heard

about a lot of surgeries
on suppressed youth.

And the other thing is,
when do we do the surgery?

Yeah.

A lot of kids want to get
it done over the summer,

between senior year and
the first year of college.

Mm-hmm.

Don't think that's the best idea.

But I think I want to take
like, a one-year break anyway.

Just knowing her personality,
I just don't think

it's the best for her mentally.

I think she could go to
high school and still do

what she needs to do
medically that senior year.

She gets the surgery
and takes a year off

in between high school

and college, you know,
she gets in her head.

- I do.
- So she's laying in bed

and not doing anything but watching TV,

that's going to get a
little old after a while.

And then she's going to get depressed

and then go into another dark cloud...

That's a very real fear.

Jeanette: I'm extremely
worried about Jazz falling

into a depression after the surgery.

And I think sitting at home,
day after day, dilating or,

you know, recovering,

is just not good for
who she is as a person.

I just... I think it's a bad idea.

I don't know what to do.

Jeanette's in a really difficult place,

because she wants to do the right thing

and it's hard to know
what the right thing is.

I think she needs a lot more information

and she might have to be in

an uncomfortable position
for a little while.

Don't leave any stone unturned.

Talk to everyone.

Support groups are available.

I know that. I know that they are.

Mm-hmm.

And I think this would
be a really great idea

for you to know that there's someone,

even in a similar situation,

someone who may be able

to connect you with someone else.

- Yeah.
- It think it'd be a great thing.

Jeanette: Even Debbie
doesn't have a crystal ball.

Nobody has any way of knowing
what's going to happen.

We just don't.

But I think it could be really helpful

to get some feedback
from other family members

or parents of trans kids who are faced

with these really difficult decisions.

Okay, let's go live.

I am a little bit nervous

because anything live is... Live.

All right, so we have a caller.

Man: Of course, you're
going to be getting bullied.

You guys are just freaks.

♪♪

Big, old lights. Uhh.

Oh, my goodness. You're
really taking this serious.

Uhh. The lights make you look pretty.

Watch out for my chandelier.

Oh, sorry.

Jazz: I've done a few Facebook
lives in the past before,

but it's usually been
with a media outlet

or just some type of news source.

But now I'm going to
do it in my own home,

set it up myself, and
it's going to be fun.

- Hey.
- Hi. How are you?

Noelle: Hey, Jazz.

Hey. You excited?

I'm glad you could be a part of this.

I'm glad I can be, too.

Jazz: It's really sad
when trans youth are not

in a comfortable and safe environment

and a lot of them haven't met or heard

from another transgender person before,

so it's really great that we
have the opportunity to do this

and we're just going to try to
help them as much as possible.

This is where we're going
to look at the comments from

and then this is where we're
going to take calls from,

'cause we're taking calls.

I am a little bit nervous,
because anything live is...

Live, and it is unmoderated.

So there is a chance
that a hater may call in.

And even though I have a thick skin

when it comes to haters
saying awful things,

I don't know how it
is for Lynn and Noelle.

Hello.

Lynn: Hi, how you doing?

- Oh, you look lovely.
- Thank you.

Hola. Oh, my gosh, you look so cute.

Thank you, boo.

What I hope to accomplish today
is just to have people know

that we're there for them

and just for them to know

that you're not alone in this world.

Girls, we're going to sit over here.

If you need anything,
we'll be right there.

- Okay.
- Okay.

- All right.
- Have fun.

Let me know if you need anything.

- You guys nervous?
- Yeah.

Okay, let's go live.

We're having an open
discussion about bullying,

because as three trans people,

it clearly affects our lives

and we're also willing to
go beyond the discussion

of bullying in general.

So my name is Jazz and
then I have my friend Lynn

here and Noelle.

- Hi.
- Hi.

I guess I will share
that most of the bullying

that I face is online, cyberbullying.

On social media, I see
a lot of these comments

that are just so negative, so cruel,

and are really hurtful.

I try not to look at them, but,
you know, at the end of the day,

they're still there.

It shows me that there's more
work to be done and that society

isn't fully accepting people

like us who are transgender,

who just happen to be transgender.

I also have faced struggles.

One day on Instagram, I
did see a picture of me

with a very rude caption.

At that point, I was suffering
from very bad depression.

That honestly hit me very hard.

And I guess that's what
we're here to share today.

Oh, we have a caller.

Hello?

_

_

_

_

Most of the bullying I face
is often from adults, actually.

Kids are more open to
change and new ideas,

but adults, they're a little bit stuck

in terms of their belief system.

So adults have bullied me, and
it's sometimes intimidating.

Jeanette: The adults are
the ones that set the rules,

not the kids. You
can't use the bathroom.

That's an adult rule, not a child rule.

You know, little, tiny Jazz,

when she was playing
soccer in the beginning,

these are all adults saying,

"you have to sit on the
sidelines and can't play."

One of our first questions is
from Sarah and she wants to know

how we can support our friends

when they are transitioning

if they don't know what pronouns to use?

You guys have any thoughts on that?

I feel like you should ask them.

Like, I mean, asking's
always okay for somebody.

At least you're acknowledging
them and telling them like,

"oh, you know, how do I do this,

so I don't, like, offend you in a way?"

Yeah.

Oh, okay, so people are curious,

at what age did you two
know that you were trans?

I knew ever since I could
differentiate boy from girl.

So I-I internalized that
a lot, I pushed it away.

I eventually acknowledged
that I was transgender

when I was years old,

but I feel that I did know all my life.

How about you, Lynn?

The time that I acknowledged
that I was transgender

was around the ages between and ,

when I was around in middle school.

So I had these friends who would...

Like, we'd always do
feminine things, I enjoyed it.

Like, I thoroughly enjoyed,
you know, being more feminine.

That's who I was as a person.

Yeah.

All right, we have a call from Denmark.

Oh, my god.

Hello.

- Bottom surgery.
- Bottom surgery.

- Bottom surgery.
- Let's talk about it.

I mean, normally, this
is pretty personal,

but since we want to try to
be a educational as possible,

I'll say for me, I have been going on

a few consultations now,

and it's been really, really exciting.

You know, I've wanted
this my whole life,

so it's really cool

to just, like, finally
embark upon this journey.

For me, I'm not...
I'm not quite sure yet,

but it's best to learn about
everything that you might do,

so that when you do
want to follow through

with the procedure,

you'll be prepared and
you'll be ready for it.

I have a mother who
doesn't really accept me

and neither a father, so
my social worker at school,

she's actually helping
me with my transition.

Like, she's giving me
the contacts, who to call,

and, like, some people
who could help me out

and, like, sign me off for
hormones when I turn .

All right, so we have a caller.

Hello, new person.

Man: Hi. Am I online?

- You are online.
- Yes, you are.

Yeah.

Yeah, I just... I want to say,
I think this is all basically

just one big load of crap.

Y'all are just trying to get attention.

I mean, we all have problems.

Just, you know, cut the crap, man up.

Of course you're going
to be getting bullied.

You guys are just freaks.

Man: Y'all are just
trying to get attention.

Of course you're going
to be getting bullied.

You guys are just freaks.

♪♪

All right, well, I would say,
the first thing that is...

Yeah, I'm going to hang up on you first

and then we could address that person.

So, you know, I think

you're just being
completely disrespectful.

You're jumping to conclusions
without educating yourself,

and understand that
we are people, as well.

You can't treat us like
we're not human beings,

because we are human beings.

My mind itself can't
comprehend or understand

how people are like this.

I thought that we were in a world

where people could accept each other.

I'm one person who
values people's opinions,

but that is completely debating fact

and completely contradicting reality.

Jazz: Although the call is
hateful, I definitely do believe

there is value in seeing that people

are willing to say awful things

directly to someone who is transgender

or to anyone's face

and it shouldn't be accepted.

But transgender individuals
and transgender youth,

three innocent girls, can face bullying.

All right, so we're going to wrap up.

We've been doing this for a long time.

You guys have both been great.

I'm really proud of both of you.

And I'm proud of everyone who commented.

Thank you so much.

All right. Got to press this button.

Uhh. [Laughs]

Oh, this is not cute.

Jeanette: I think you
guys have a new profession.

You guys did awesome.

Yay! I'm so proud you.

- Thanks.
- So proud of you.

Congratulations.

How did you feel?

Well, I thought it was fun,

'cause people were, like,
asking a lot of questions.

It was fun.

With the hater, I love how we hung up.

We were like, "okay, bye,"
and then we addressed.

Jeanette: Yeah. Well,
I'm glad that you did,

'cause I don't want you engaged

with anybody like that.

Lynn: It's important for
people who are bullied

to have somebody who
they can come together

with and share and express themselves.

That's how I feel with Jazz.

She is a friend and that's,
really, it's a great thing.

Lynn: And then it felt
nice helping other people

and giving them advice.

It's really, really relieving
knowing that I possibly

helped somebody out there in the world.

♪♪

Jeanette: You guys
were on for a long time.

You must be tired.

Yes. I'm thirsty, too.

I'm getting a drink of water.

Jeanette: You looked
like you were having fun.

Jazz: I thought we were able
to provide some helpful advice.

I think the fact that Lynn could relate

to a lot of the transgender
youth out there more

is better, because Noelle
and I are really lucky

that we have the support of our family.

Yeah, she... I don't think
she ever would've done

something like that
if it wasn't for you.

- [Cellphone rings]
- Who's calling?

Daddy.

Hello?

- Greg: How you doing?
- Good.

How are you? I've got Jazz here.

You're on speaker phone.

Jazz, that was amazing.

I thought you guys were incredible.

Thanks.

That makes me feel really good.

The three of you had really
different experiences,

but you all have that same common goal

of trying to educate people.

But there's always that
one clown in the crowd

that has to make a statement.

Yeah.

Greg: I think it's important
that people see things

in real time happening to a real person.

You know, it's one thing to see it on TV

or to hear about laws that
are being passed by states,

but to hear somebody say
something directly to Jazz,

you know, I'm sure, hits home.

I love you.

And keep up the good work, kiddo.

Love you.

Love you guys. Bye.

♪♪

- Hello.
- How you doing?

- How are you?
- Good to see you.

I'm taking Debbie's advice
and going to a support group

and unlike Jazz, I'm a
big believer in therapy.

So I feel that I'm going to
get something out of this,

that it's going to be good for me.

I wish I went to therapy more.

I can't do this all
on my own all the time,

and I would love some feedback

from other family members
or parents of trans kids.

Deanna: Good evening, everyone.

My name is Deanna Muniz.

And I'm here to kind of open
up our support group tonight

of friends, family,

and significant others of
transgender individuals.

So I'm really excited and
happy that you all came.

My son Jake, he just turned .

He's female-to-male.

And he's on testosterone.

His confidence level has,
like, went up the roof.

And so, today, I get to
see him as a teenage boy,

which, when I go into
his room, I have febreze,

'cause definitely there's been a boy...

There's been a boy in that room.

I'm just saying.

The puberty is happening in real time.

[Laughter]

But this is who he is.

- He's happy.
- He's happy.

- He's content.
- He's content.

I think it's very hard
for people to understand,

when you allow a child to transition

at such a young age.

But they don't see all the
stuff behind the scenes.

And in our case, she was,
you know, saying to us,

"I no longer want to live

in this world," at the age of four.

And when you hear that
as a parent, you think,

"well, I'm going to do anything

I can to make this child

a happy child," no matter what.

Jeanette: Even though it's
hard to listen to the pain

and hurt of other parents,

it's really reassuring to know

that I'm not on an island alone

and there's other people out there

that are faced with decisions like mine.

It wasn't until recently
that they would let anyone

that was under ,

even with parents'
permission, have the surgery.

The surgeons face stigma
from their colleagues.

We just had that discussion
with Oregon's top surgeon.

I feel like it shouldn't be
this taboo thing to talk about.

Jazz is getting ready
to go out in the world

and she wants to be a whole woman.

She's like, "I'm a woman, I
know I'm a woman, but, you know,

I just need this one extra part."

And I thought it would be
like, cut and dry, like,

go to a great doctor and they'd be like,

"oh, you know, here it is,
let's do it, let's set a date,"

and it's so not that.

These kids have been
suppressed on hormones,

so they haven't quite
developed the same way

as if you were doing
surgery on an adult.

And I had a feeling
in the back of my mind,

'cause, like, she's pretty immodest.

And I've seen what's there and I'm like,

you know, "what are they
going to do with that?

Like, how are they going to...?"

'Cause I know, you know, like,
there's a penile inversion thing

and I'm like, "uh, no."

You find out about biology
really quick and anatomy.

Yeah, it's a different ball game.

Well, I shouldn't say that, but...

[Laughter]

No pun intended.

A lot of us are going
through heavy stuff,

but it's great to be
light-hearted, as well.

You never pictured in your lifetime

that you'd be sitting
around with a group of people

talking about vaginoplasties
and penile inversion.

So, you know, we have to have a
sense of humor about everything,

as well.

I want her to have the surgery
before she leaves for college.

I need to be there on
top of the situation,

where I can monitor her

and she has the option, it's her choice.

She can do this while she's home,

between her junior and senior year,

and Mommy can be there to hold her hand,

and Daddy, too, or whoever else,

or she can do the
surgery and take time off,

which sounds ideal.

But she has depression and for
those of you familiar with it,

when somebody is depressed,

they don't have a purpose.

[Voice breaking] And... and I
don't want her laying around in bed

and then the depression can come.

If that happens, I don't
know what will happen.

So I'm pushing her towards something.

I don't know if she wants that.

I want her to do what's best for her.

But if I secretly, well, not
so secretly, am telling her,

"I don't think this is a good idea."

So it's like, what do I do?

♪♪

Shane's calling me.

- Which one?
- Yeah, which one?

The dating in the dark one.

The fact that a guy is
taking an interest in me

is something that I haven't experienced.

What's up?

Shane: Well, I actually have a question.

I don't really need her to
have the surgery at / ,

but I do need her to have it,

'cause she needs us to be there.

So this is... like,
I don't know people...

They're not talking about this.

I'm not seeing this on
TV, I'm not seeing this

in the support groups.

Woman: But what does she want to do?

How does she feel about it?

'Cause it sounds like,
even at three and four,

they're already guiding you.

I think they've been very
clear about their journey

and they're very comfortable
in letting you know.

Let her figure that
out, which kind of takes

the burden off of you and
not having to feel like,

"did I make the right
decision, did I not?"

Kind of let her guide you.

I don't think that Jazz
realizes that as her mom,

this is very difficult for me.

I want to do what's best
for her and honestly,

I didn't realize it was so tough on me

until I lost it.

Decisions have never
been black and white,

and that makes it harder to figure out

what's best for Jazz.

Thank you so much,
Jeanette, for opening up.

- Thank you.
- Because that benefits us all.

Again, thank you so much.

I want to thank every single one
of you, you know, for opening up

and giving your story
and your perspective.

I hope we do this again.

[Applause]

♪♪

Jeanette: Oh, look, he likes this.

- He'll like this.
- Jazz: Come on, kitten.

You're going to help
with Jazz's homework.

It's my midterm project.

You didn't do your assignment,
you go, "the cat ate it."

Duncan!

You definitely don't
leave it on the ground.

Uhh.

[Cellphone rings]

What's that?

Shane's calling me.

Which one?

[Both laugh]

- Yeah, which one?
- The dating in the dark one.

Oh, okay.

Just checking.

- Where's she going?
- I don't know.

Jazz: I'm going outside.

Hello?

_

What's up?

_

I'm good. How are you?

I'm good. How has everything been?

Tell me about your life.

I'm just working on a
project right now for school

that's due tomorrow, procrastinating.

Well, I actually have a question.

Do you remember Frank and Hannah, right?

Yes. Didn't they, like,
work out as a match, kind of?

Or didn't they like each other?

Yeah, and Monday, they're actually,

I think going on, like, a date-date.

And Frank talked to me and asked
me if I wanted to go with you

and make it a double.

Okay. Yeah, that actually
sounds really fun.

I would have to ask my
parents, but I'm pretty sure

they would say yes.

All right, sounds good.

I'll text you all the
deets when I get 'em.

Take care.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Jazz: I'm actually really
excited about this double date,

because the fact that a
guy is taking interest in me

is something that I haven't experienced,

and he's also a cisgender guy,

so that's really cool and I'm excited

to get to know him a little bit better.

Did Jazz know that Shane
was going to be calling?

No. If she did, she didn't tell me.

♪♪

Ahh.

What was that all about?

You got a big smile on your face.

Just very, very, very interesting.

Details?

♪♪

Your girl was asked out on a date.

You're calling it a date?

A double date with Frank and Hannah.

Hannah was, like, one of the other girls

and Frank was one of the other guys

and they met in the dark, as well.

This dating in the
dark is really working.

I know.

Greg: It seems like,
in this particular case,

the stars sort of align.

Whatever happened,
the dating in the dark,

the way they met, the
communication that they had,

the personalities,

everything seems to be aligning

where Jazz is really
comfortable this time,

and that's nice to see.

It's refreshing. We're happy for her.

So tell me about the date.

Does Shane drive or who's driving?

Yeah, how are you getting
there and where are you going?

I don't know.

We didn't go over all those details.

I was just asked out
and then you text later,

figure out all the details.

Wait, but he didn't say where?

He's just like, "you want to go out?"

That's how it works.

You ask someone out
and then you figure out

where you want to go later.

That's how it works?

So, okay, you actually look excited.

- That's cool.
- Aww.

You like him?

You're going to get to know
him, then you'll decide.

I think he's really,
really nice, though.

This date is very different
from the previous dates

that I've been on,

because I've met Shane

and I know who he is, I
know what I'm getting into,

we know that we're both
interested in each other

and have that connection.

So it's pretty exciting
and I feel like it

is fair to call it a date.

This is official and real

and hopefully, we're
going to have a good time.

♪♪

Next time on "I Am Jazz"...

I think he's a really, really nice kid.

I just don't know if he's my type.

I feel myself shutting down,

but I don't want to close the doors

like I have in the past.

Jacky: Yeah. Hi, sweetheart.

Hello.

My dad and Jazz had
a little altercation.

I know you're very
stubborn, but you are wrong.

You wanted to say something
about your presentation?

Oh, yeah.

I thought this was in
the past, but apparently,

he's still been thinking about it.

We are once again
talking about bathrooms.

Those on the left are all about
feelings, while the rest of us

just don't want to get
r*ped in the bathroom.

Greg: I'm not ecstatic
about putting Jazz

in the f*ring line of a shock jock.

It's a little scary and intimidating.