Okay, Ferb.
Open the floodgates!
What do you think?
Baljeet: It is like our
own miniature Canada.
But, of course without
the beavers, moose
and disproportionate
number of comedians!
- Or Canadian Bacon.
- I forgot all about Canadian Bacon.
You realize it is only ham.
Candace: Phineas!
And Ferb!
You are so busted!
Hello, boys! Splendid job
on the hockey rink! [thud]
Well, that was amusing!
- Great skating, Dad.
- Boys, I've got some good news for you.
I've arranged for you to
play a little exhibition match
between periods of the
Danville Icetrays game.
Oh you mean like a half-time?
Well, it's three periods, so it's
really two-thirds' time.
Blame sport-terms.
That's what's keeping the Canadians down.
If we're going to be the entertainment,
then, we better kick it up a notch.
- Hockey Z ?
- Hockey Z .
- Oh, like Football X .
- What happened to Y ?
Oh, we're saving that for croquet.
Ferb, grab your toolbox,
we've got work to do.
[snorts] What's the big
deal with hockey, anyway?
Well, it's hard to explain, actually.
Taking a flip pass from the winger,
shoulder deking the defenseman
and then tossing it right
over the ol' glove hand!
Oh, it just takes hold of you.
Like a fever!
Did you play a lot of
hockey in England there, Dad?
- Never once.
- Hey, Candace.
- Oh! Hi, Jeremy!
- What a great ice rink!
Wouldn't it just be perfect for...
- ...figure skating!
- Ice Hockey!
What? Oh, yeah, ice hockey!
I didn't know that you
were a hockey fan, Candace.
You betcha! Flippin' over wing passes
and shoulder dorking the ol' jazz hands!
- It's like some kind of disease!
- Uh... yeah.
Say, Jeremy, why don't you join us
today at the exhibition game today?
- Sounds like fun.
- Oh, yeah! It sounds like... [vocalizes]
Oh, hey. I got a phone call.
From a real person. Gotta go.
- Stacy, we have a Code Teal.
- Locusts? Are you sure?
No, wait...
I mean Code Periwinkle.
Periwinkle.
A hockey emergency? I'm on it!
Speaking of Periwinkle, where is Perry?
[music]
Carl, I'm freezing.
Did you call that repair guy yet?
Carl: I left him a message, sir.
I think he went to
Aruba for winter break.
Lucky dog. It's cold and...
Oh, H.B.
Didn't hear you come in. I have no
idea what Doofenshmirtz is up to.
It seems all of our computers
froze. Isn't that right, Carl?
Tech Support says everything is fine!
Well, I'm sure
whatever Doof is up to,
he's probably much
warmer than we are.
And that alone should be
reason to stop him.
Good luck, Agent P!
Announcer: Welcome hockey hounds
to the hypothermic hypodrome
of Danville Mountain
Top Winter Arena,
where our own Danville
Icetrays will cross sticks
with the combative
Crosstown contenders!
Reigning over the skating
skirmish tonight as guest referee
is hockey hall-of-famer,
Luc Robitaille.
Is anyone else cold?
Why is it so cold in here?
All: We don't know, Luc Robitaille!
Man: Actually, I brought a
blanket, so I'm okay!
- Here we are!
- Oh, this is so exciting.
- I've always wanted to be a hockey mom.
- Excuse me for a second.
System check. Stacy, can you read me?
I've got the hockey reference manuals,
league website and
official rules up and ready.
Stacy, Mom said it's my
turn to use the computer!
Not now Ginger, I'm busy.
Don't make me open that
can of whipped cream on you.
Or however that goes.
Chorus: # Doofenshmirtz Evil Iglo
on a Mountain Top... # Eh?
[music]
Doofenshmirtz: Ah!
Perry the Platypus! Come in.
How do you like my evil igloo
hide-out up in the Danville Mountains?
Would you like some hot cocoa?
No?
Then, how about a marshmallow?
[grunts] Hah!
Trapped you again!
I think I've figured out why I haven't
been able to take over the Tri-State Area.
I've been too much of a nice guy.
Nice guys can't take over
large metropolitan areas.
Except for Roger, but we're
not talking about Roger.
I've gotta get mean.
I've gotta get ugly and possibly hairy.
I've got to learn to be more
like the Abominable Snowman.
[cat yowls]
So I decided to build this.
[stammers]
Behold the Abominanebi...
The Aboniman...
The
A-BOM-IN-A-BLE-NATOR.
See, I can only say
it if I speak slowly.
The Abominable-inator.
Oh, look, if I...
if I separate it, it works.
The Abominable-inator!
It makes whatever it hits
bigger and scarier and hairier.
Anywho, behold.
Ok I know what you're thinking.
Why this silly
little stocking cap and scarf?
The truth is, I, uh...
I had some yarn.
On the blur of the bottom
brings down the metaphorical curtain
on the scintillating second
period of this titanic tussle
as the grim, gritty gladiatos vacate
the frozen field of flaming fighting ... {*}
to prepare for the third period
of this Tulican turf toast towers,
as the frosty defibulators
mill the frozen peas of icy..
[gasping] Oh, man.
I'd better go lay down.
So, when all members of the
offending team clear the defensive
zone at the same time, the
delayed offside call is negated.
Wow. [chuckles]
You really do know hockey.
[scoffs]
Are you kidding?
Did you know, a referee
makes most penalty calls...
...while the linesmen may call only
obvious technical infractions... Go away!
...obvious technical
infractions go away.
The player who committed the
infraction is... no give me that.
No, Ginger, I'm busy.
I said give me that back.
If you don't give that
back to me right now...
Candace, gotta go.
Now for your entertainment, what we've
all been waiting for,
little kids on ice!
[crowd cheering]
This is so exciting. Oh!
I forgot to charge the battery.
Oh, no. I can't miss this photo op.
Where is the gift shop?
It's way over there, on
the other side of the arena.
I'll be right back.
Behold, Perry the Platypus,
as I make myself abominable.
Ooh, it's all marshmallowy and hairy.
Not completely unlike summer camp.
Apparently, you gotta aim
this thing a little better.
[grunts] Ow!
Hmm. Something's not
right in the hinterland.
Yikes! [grunts]
Okay, Ferb, looks like we're on.
[powering down]
[buzzer blares]
Ladies and gentlemen, prepare to
be transported to a world where
everything you know has changed
into a global glacial dystopia.
If you're looking for something
fluffy, forget it, pal. Because this is
the future, where the only things left
are hard, cold, and in most cases, pointy.
It's a world where the only way to survive
is to play hockey when the things are
breaking around you. It's a world of
skillful skating and incredible ice ramps,
puck-pushing prowess
and savage snow gladiators.
Oh, this is so bustable! Mom, Da...
Where's Mom?
She went to the gift shop
to buy a disposable camera.
What the heck is that?
It's a camera that you send away
to get the film part developed,
and then you take the non-film,
camera-only part and you throw it away.
- But where the heck is the film?
- Would you please just look in the back?
Announcer: This is
the harsh hybrid hockey
of your dark dystopian
destiny. Hockey Z .
[in normal voice] Thanks, Dink!
Gotta get on the ice!
[hard rock music playing]
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
♪ Don't turn away,
I'm talking to you, sir ♪
♪ About the post-apocalyc
sport of the future ♪
♪ You'll be skating amok ♪
♪ With curled sticks and a puck ♪
♪ Put your doctor on speed dial ♪
♪ 'Cause you're gonna need sutures ♪
♪ Make sure the pad's in place ♪
♪ Curling snow is for sweeping ♪
♪ Hockey Z ♪
♪ Hockey Z ♪
♪ It's as far as you can,
alphabetically speaking ♪
♪ It's a game with
a brand new name [yells] ♪
♪ It's Z ♪
♪ Hockey Z ♪
♪ Hockey Z ♪
♪ Hockey Z ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Hockey Z ♪
Ahhh!
Oh, my feet!
Now it's working.
Hey, not bad.
A little hairy, but not bad.
Now, to deal with you.
Gotcha!
Hey, where'd you go?
Oh, there you are.
Yes? Ow!
Oh, you stupid thing...
- Excuse me, I gotta get thru here.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're not allowed out there.
But I gotta go get my mom.
This is the shortcut to the gift shop.
I'm sorry, you can't go out there.
- That's for players only.
- Players, huh?
You're gonna go get a uniform and
try to get out there, aren't you?
- Is that a problem?
- No. As long as we're clear on the concept.
Hey, look at that. There was one in
our Disposable Stuff From the ' s box.
- Thanks, David. - Let me know
if you need more things to throw away!
Now, where the heck...
Hey, how'd you get over there?
Don't do that! Oh, man!
[music]
Okay, now you're just showing off.
What? Is there
something I should... [yells]
I fail to see how this
could get any worse.
Curse you, Perry the Platypus...
What the... I'm pretty sure
that's not supposed to happen. Mr. Stevens!
Mr. Stevens, I'm having
trouble with the equipment!
[crowd cheering] Mom: Sorry, excuse me.
Yes, you are number one.
Excuse me. Sorry, pardon me. All
right, now I gotta... Excuse me!
Oh, check it out, a monster
ice polishing machine!
Okay, everyone, looks like we're
done. Let's get out of here.
Oh, my gosh. That is the
cutest thing I've ever seen.
Everyone say "Canadian Bacon."
All: Ham!
Great job, kids. That was the
weirdest game of hockey I've ever seen.
Thanks, Mr. Robitaille!
Okay, I'm all set to
sneak across the ice.
- Go ahead. Hockey Z is over.
- What? No!
Mom, they had giant
dangerous... with a...
It's not fair!
It's so not fair! [whistles]
- Unsportsmanlike behavior!
- Fine.
Wow, Candace.
I had a really good time.
You wanna get something to eat?
Oh, that sounds like fun.
But give me minutes.
Oh, there you are, Perry.
[chattering]