Daddy, get me a glass of milk?
(TV PLAYING)
Oh, come on, honey.
You're a big girl now.
You get your own glass of milk.
Please!
No.
Gracie, I'm not your servant.
Daddy, I said
"please."
Now, get me a glass of milk!
Gracie, I wouldn't get you a glass
of milk right now if you paid me.
You want some chocolate in it?
Surprise me.
(EXCLAIMS)
Oh, baby!
ANDY: I tell you, I wouldn't
kick her out of bed.
Well, I know, but...
(EXCLAIMING) Hey!
(DOOR CLOSING)
What are you doing here?
Making dinner.
Oh, well, we thought that
you were going to be
stuck at soccer practice
and so we went out and got
some pizzas and ribs.
For two.
Yeah, so, you know...
Oh, that's totally fine.
My new friend, Cindy, is
bringing the kids home.
So, suddenly, I had
two free hours.
I took a bath.
I got my nails done. And look.
Lasagna! Mmm!
Lasagna!
Pizza, ribs, and lasagna.
Uh-huh.
Yeah. You know, originally, I
was going to name my kids that.
(ALL LAUGHING)
Come on, let's eat.
Oh, great.
I've been meaning to
test out this new belt.
(LAUGHS)
Oh, boy! Look at...
(GIRLS SHOUTING) Girls!
Hi, girls!
Hi!
How was soccer?
GRACIE: Good.
RUBY: Good.
Good? You should
have seem 'em.
Ruby had a goal and
Gracie had two assists.
Oh, yeah. And my
little Ally here
had the ball on the wing. She...
You know, "good" was
all I wanted, really.
(LAUGHING) Honey.
Cindy, thank you so much
for bringing them home.
Oh, are you kidding?
Ally and I just adore your girls.
Oh!
Oh, yeah. With their little
hands and their little feet.
We could just eat 'em up.
(CHUCKLES) Gobble,
gobble, gobble.
Right, Ally?
Uh-huh.
Oh, I... Where are my manners?
I'm terribly sorry.
I'm Cindy Devlin.
You must be Jim.
Oh, yeah.
Oh! Don't get up.
(LAUGHS) I wasn't going to.
(LAUGHING)
(LAUGHING) I like
this one, Cheryl.
Yeah. You've got to
meet my husband, Tim.
Mmm-hmm.
Oh, my gosh!
The two of you together would be like
Robin Williams and Billy Crystal.
That would just k*ll me.
(CHUCKLES) Oh, boy. Well, we're
definitely gonna have to do it then.
CINDY: Yeah.
(EXCLAIMS) Yes.
Hi. Uh...
Oh.
I'm Cheryl's brother, Andy.
Hi. You're
having pizza.
You're going to wanna
sop up that grease.
Oh, yeah. See?
That was going
to be inside you.
(LAUGHING) Mmm. Let's stick
around to see that th birthday.
Honey, look at me.
Forty is a long sh*t.
Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh.
No, Jim.
Remember, rib and bib.
Rhyme for a reason.
(EXCLAIMING)
There we go.
(GRUNTS) Thank you.
(CHUCKLES)
(SIGHING)
(EXHALING)
Okay, then, um...
CINDY: Mmm.
Cindy, we were just sitting down
to have a family dinner with,
you know, just the family.
Yeah. Oh!
(CHUCKLES) Oh, my God!
Earth to Cindy!
Obvious calling, no answer.
(LAUGHING)
Come on, honey.
Okay, well...
Toodle-oo, then.
Uh-huh.
Oh, Cindy, thank you so much.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Uh, Jim.
We are going to get
you and Tim together
and let the zingers fly.
(CHUCKLES) Fantabulous.
(DOOR CLOSING) What was that?
What? She's nice.
Nice? She took
our grease.
What kind of person does that?
Well, I like her and you're just
gonna have to give her a chance.
Cheryl, the woman put a bib on
me like I'm some kind of...
Oh, crap!
WOMAN: (ON STEREO)
"My feet are cold."
Repeat after me.
(WOMAN SPEAKING
IN FRENCH)
(REPEATING IN FRENCH)
Voila! I'm French.
(LAUGHING)
Hey!
Hey! Hey, hey!
(GREETING IN FRENCH)
Huh?
Let me guess.
Cindy's got the kids again.
Yeah. Today I'm
learning French
and making a stained glass
window for the kids' rooms.
DANA: Hmm.
(STUTTERS) Is that h*tler?
No! It's Charlie Chaplin.
Wait. Look. Look.
Here's his hat.
Oh, yeah. That's cute. Yeah.
Yeah. And it won't give
the kids nightmares.
Yeah.
(DOOR CLOSES)
Hey! How you doing?
CHERYL: Hi!
(STUTTERING) What's
with all the flowers?
Oh. Oh, my God!
It's your birthday, isn't it?
(SIGHS) No.
Our anniversary?
No.
Did you have surgery?
Jim!
Cindy dropped them by this morning.
Her husband grows 'em.
Oh. Hey, Jim.
Why don't you lie down on the couch?
We could pretend it's
your funeral. Oh!
Oh! No, we can't!
(CHUCKLING) There's
too many people here.
(LAUGHING)
You know, we got to
get rid of that woman.
And Cindy, too.
Honey! Forget it.
Cindy's my friend.
Oh, she is not your
friend, Cheryl.
You're just using her to take
Ruby and Gracie off your hands
so you have more time to
do stained glass Hitlers.
See?
It is Charlie Chaplin.
And I happen to like her.
Oh, please, Cheryl.
What are we having
for lunch, denial salad?
You know what it is?
You know what it is?
Cindy and I are nice people...
Oh, yeah?
...who happen to like other nice people.
JIM: Uh-huh.
Think of it as a club
you can't get into.
The Nice Club.
Uh-huh.
(GIRLS CLAMORING) RUBY: Hi, Mommy!
Hi, Daddy!
Hey, girls!
Hi!
How are you?
Hey!
That's right. You little doodle hoppers
just run on upstairs and play.
This is my famous
Shepherd's pie.
Oh! Yeah. Your little munchkins
went crazy for it last night.
Oh, Cindy, that is so sweet. Oh!
What a friendly thing for one
nice person to do for another.
Oh, hi!
Hi. How are you?
You must be Dana?
Yeah. Oh! I'm Cindy Devlin.
Oh, my golly!
You're gorgeous.
(CHUCKLING)
Oh, well. Thanks.
Where did you get those
cute hair sticks?
Oh, at the mall.
This place called Things and Stuff.
Do you still have the box?
Yeah. Why?
'Cause they would make a
terrific gift for someone else.
Huh? Ears like ours,
best tucked away.
(EXCLAIMING)
CHERYL: Hey!
Cheryl. I picked up these
cute little lion pillows
for the girls' bedroom. Aren't they fun?
(EXCLAIMING) Oh, yeah?
Yeah. Look at Mr. Lion. Yeah.
(IMITATES LION ROARING)
(CHUCKLING) Oh. Oh, oh!
Yeah. (STUTTERING)
That's really good.
Can you do that again? I know.
Isn't that funny?
People love it.
(IMITATES LION ROARING)
I see why.
(EXCLAIMING) Oh, yeah.
Okay, I get it. Okay. Yeah.
You see, the thing is,
I was thinking...
Yeah...if the girls' room
were little more cheery...
Mmm-hmm...
then maybe Gracie wouldn't be so...
What?
Well, so moody.
Moody?
Oh, Mr. Lion.
Someone doesn't want
to hear bad news.
(COOING)
Listen. I got to run.
I got to get home to my doggies.
'Cause if I leave
'em alone too long,
they just lick themselves raw.
(CLEARING THROAT)
(DOOR CLOSES)
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
Okay, you're right.
I hate her. JIM: Uh...
Yes.
Sounds like
there's some trouble
in the Nice Club.
One, two, three, four...
Three, four,
five, six. Yes!
Yes! Yes!
(MUMBLING)
Boardwalk with a hotel.
(LAUGHING)
You have cheese
stuff on your face.
Oh. Well, let me
wipe it off
with one of my $ bills.
Oh!
All right. I got some nachos.
Oh, thank you, my good man.
A little something for
your trouble. Ooh!
Back in the game!
(EXCLAIMS) Hello, hello, hello!
Hi.
Hi.
I brought my husband, Tim.
Oh.
Well, we were kinda having
a family game night here.
CHERYL: Yeah. I know.
But I just wanted you to meet
the man responsible
for all the flowers.
ALL: Oh!
How do you do?
(CINDY CHUCKLING) Hey.
Yeah. I guess you could
say I'm all thumbs.
All green thumbs, huh?
(ALL LAUGHING) ANDY: Yeah.
That's good.
(LAUGHS) Yeah. Yeah.
And send in the clowns.
Don't bother.
They're here.
(ALL LAUGHING)
Hey! Where are
you guys going?
We quit. No, you can't quit.
I'm winning.
Uh-huh. We got your race car.
And your money.
Someone's favorite doll's
getting a haircut tonight.
Okay. I'll go get the
kids ready for bed.
Thank you.
I'm just going to
(CHUCKLING) fly upstairs
with my big ears.
Dana. True story.
Mmm-hmm.
I dated a fellow in college
who was crazy about big ears.
Mmm. And you're looking at him.
I love you.
Love you more.
Don't you dare kiss me.
Too late.
Don't you dare kiss me back.
Don't you dare dare me.
I'll double-dog
dare you.
Uh-oh. Them's
fighting words.
Okay! Hey! Hey!
Thank you so much
for stopping by so...
So unexpectedly.
Oh.
(STUTTERING) So, uh, was
there anything you needed?
Because I dare you to go.
(ALL LAUGHING)
(MUMBLING) Yeah.
Jim. I wanted to
invite you down to the Morton
Arboretum this Saturday.
I'm a Tree Buddy down there.
You tell people that?
(TIM AND CINDY LAUGHING)
Right. You were
right, Cindy.
Hey, get me a needle and thread
because my sides are splitting.
(LAUGHING)
Yeah. So, what
do you say?
Because Cindy will tell
you it's very relaxing
after a long week of work.
And believe you me, owning a hot tub
store can get you pretty steamed.
(TIM AND CINDY LAUGHING)
Tim's got that on his
business cards. Yeah.
I do.
(STAMMERING) You own
a hot tub store?
Uh, is this thing on?
Are you looking to buy?
(STUTTERING) 'Cause I'm
offering a Tree Buddy discount
of % off all last
year's floor models.
That's true.
That's good, too.
Let's do it.
Yeah!
All right. Let's do it.
Okay. Yeah.
So, we'll hit the Arboretum...
Okay...
then we'll swing by my store
and I'll get you a great
deal on a bubbler.
Oh, Jim. Now don't let him bully
you into buying anything.
Hey. What are
Tree Buddies for?
(LAUGHING) Yay!
Okay. Guess it's
is a dealio.
(CHUCKLING) Oh, well!
Dealio.
Don't you dare kiss me
once we get in that car.
Oh, I won't.
(LAUGHS) Fingers crossed.
(DOOR CLOSING)
What? What?
(STUTTERS) So, now
you're a Tree Buddy?
You're more two-faced than I am.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But both my faces
are going to be soaking
in a hot tub, baby.
Oh, honey, this is so exciting.
Our very own hot tub.
That's right, Mama.
Who's your Tree Buddy?
Oh, baby, you are!
(EXCLAIMING) (EXCLAIMING) Yeah!
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Hey!
Look.
Huh? Yeah.
Chilled glasses.
Oh, baby. Look at us.
We're living like the Rockefellers.
(LAUGHS) I know.
Grab me a popsicle.
Oh, yeah.
Come on.
Come on in this hot tub. Okay.
Come on, let's take this off.
(EXCLAIMING) I know.
Jim! Jim!
Why don't you just take this off...
(EXCLAIMS) Jim!
(CHEERING) Surprise!
Oh!
Uh, what...
Uh, what...
But...
What... What are you doing here?
Well, he is not going to
sell you a hot tub
he wouldn't relax in himself.
And I'm here to tell
you this old boat
passes muster, mister.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
See what he did there?
(LAUGHING) Yeah.
Oh, the...
Yeah.
Hey, congratulations, guys.
JIM: Oh, thanks.
Now, don't you dare hug me.
Well, I'll tell you one thing.
That guy Tim has no
issues with his body.
(SIGHS) (SCOFFS) I do.
I couldn't even
eat my popsicle.
The Devlins are coming.
(ALL YELLING) The Devlins...
(DOOR CLOSES) All right.
Close the curtains, everybody in the basement.
Okay. Where's the kids?
Upstairs. Okay.
Okay. I'll get 'em.
Hang on.
ALL: What?
Our cars are out front.
They'll know we're here.
Okay, all right.
From now on,
everybody park at least
two blocks away.
(DANA EXCLAIMS) Dana,
let's get out of here.
JIM: Wait, wait, wait.
No, no. Where you going?
(EXCLAIMING) No, no, no.
Can't let you go.
Honey, calm down.
(ALL CHATTERING AT ONCE)
Come on...
(ALL SHOUTING AT ONCE)
(SHOUTS) Oh, all right.
All right. Stop it.
Get off him.
All right. This is it.
I'm drawing the line.
That's it. I'm not
going to live this way.
Not in my house and
not in my America.
Who's with me?
Well, there goes
France and Germany.
Jim. They're coming.
What are we going to do? What?
We're going to get rid of them.
That's what we're going to do.
How?
All right. Listen, we'll split
them up, all right? Okay.
I'll take Tim in the
kitchen and talk to him,
and you talk to her
out here, all right?
Right. Now, listen,
you've got to make sure
she gets the message,
all right? No wiggle room.
You be as mean
as you have to be.
God, I can't be mean.
I'm too nice.
(EXHALING) Come on, have you learned nothing
being married to me all these years?
I know, I know. I should have
been paying better attention,
but I was so busy
doing damage control.
(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)
Listen, this is serious.
We got to get rid of these people.
You're right.
You're right. You're
right, Jim. Teach me.
Teach me. Teach me how to be
the big jerk that you are.
Oh, honey, thank you.
Oh, I know.
(DOORBELL RINGING)
Okay, okay, okay. Okay.
Okay. This is what you do.
Think of it like this.
When you go to the mall and you take all
your clothes into the dressing room
and you try 'em on and you only
buy the ones that look good?
Yeah? The Devlins make
your ass look fat.
(GASPS)
They're toast.
Toast, baby.
Get 'em.
(EXCLAIMING)
They're here.
Tim. Put down the
ladder. They're home.
Ally, you want to run upstairs
and play with the girls?
Uh-huh.
Okay.
Hi. Hi. Could you be a dear
(DOOR CLOSING) and put
that in the fridge?
There should be room on the lower
shelf right next to the meatballs.
Cindy, you think this guy doesn't know
the inside of his own refrigerator?
(CINDY AND TIM LAUGHING)
(LAUGHING)
Tim, . Jim, .
Oh, boy.
So, what do you say, Tim,
you and I go in the kitchen
and cr*ck open
a couple of beers.
Sounds good.
Hey, let's drink 'em in the hot tub.
(SIGHS)
Cindy, um...
Yeah.
Listen, Jim and I think you and Tim
are really positive, outgoing people.
Oh.
But, uh...
It's hard for me to say.
Oh, you don't have to say it.
We like you, too.
Oh, well.
Okay. Little thing.
Can we stay with
you guys for a week?
What? We need to have
our place tented.
Termite problem.
(EXCLAIMING) (CHUCKLES)
Munch, munch, munch.
Yeah. I mean, I know
you're going to say yes,
but I still felt like I needed to ask.
I don't know, it's just the way...
Okay, stop talking.
(SIGHING)
Cindy, why don't you sit down?
Oh, yeah.
(LAUGHS)
Okay. Oh, okay.
Here's the dealio.
So, are we hitting the tub?
No.
Well, then, do you mind if
I put my pants back on?
I'd be fine with that.
You know what? We've had some
good times, haven't we, Tim?
Great times.
Well, those times are over now.
Are you kidding?
You just wait till fall.
Though Sunday afternoons at Soldier Field
are going to knock your socks off.
I got to tell you.
You and Cindy have been driving us...
Did you say Soldier Field?
Sure did, my brother
from another mother.
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTS)
The wife and I have
four season tickets
on the yard line.
They've been in my family for years.
(LAUGHING)
Fifty yard line?
You, me, Cindy and Cheryl.
You know, the fearsome foursome.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Cheryl!
(CRYING) Cheryl!
Cheryl. Cheryl!
What did you do to Cindy?
What are you talking about?
You told me...
I just asked her
for a little favor.
She just unloaded on me. Oh.
(CRYING) Why don't you guys
want to be friends anymore?
Oh, Cindy.
You know what?
That couldn't be farther
from the truth.
What?
Cindy. Can I let you in on
a little family secret?
(TEARFULLY) Yes.
Cheryl has a disorder.
What?
And I just found out that she
hasn't been taking her meds.
What are you talking about?
See the mood swings right there?
(SCOFFS) Oh!
Very, very dangerous.
So you just consider whatever
favor you want, it is done.
(CINDY EXCLAIMING)
Thank you, Jim.
You're welcome.
You...
You poor thing.
(CHERYL EXHALING)
Hey, that must be where
Gracie gets it. Yes.
Gracie is not...
Stop talking.
You'll swallow your tongue.
Well, don't you two worry.
We are not the kind of people
that turn and run
when their friends' lives
go into the crapper. No.
We are in this, for the
long haul, Jim-dandy.
(CHUCKLING)
Oh! Okay.
Group hug.
Count me in.
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
JIM: Oh, God! Cheryl!
Jesus. Hooray!
Okay. Oh, oh!
And break!
Okay.
Oh, Cheryl. Cheryl!
Cheryl. If you can
hear me in there...
I just want you to know
we all love you.
Come on, Timber wolf. Let's go.
(TIM HOWLING)
(TIM PANTING)
(LAUGHING)
(LAUGHING) Timber wolf.
(DOOR CLOSES) Oh, man!
Jim?
What?
Jim?
Yes.
If you can hear me in there...
I am going to k*ll you.
What was that about?
Oh, Cheryl. Do you
realize they have
season tickets on
the yard line?
You sold me out for
football tickets?
Honey...
They think I'm a lunatic.
No. You heard her.
She loved you,
in spite of your problem.
You know what, they really are good people.
I see that now.
Oh, yeah.
So, where are we bunking down?
Bunking down?
Yeah, Jim.
Remember that favor
you promised them?
Yes.
Yeah.
Well, they are going to be
staying with us for a week.
Isn't that great?
Yeah. Why don't you
guys take our room.
Oh, no.
We couldn't.
No.
I insist.
It's the biggest, most
comfortable bed in the house.
Swell. I only
say "no" once.
(EXCLAIMING)
(SHUSHING)
(CINDY EXCLAIMING) Cheryl,
what are you doing?
Here they are.
Oh, look!
Yeah. This is Bubble
Bubble Gumdrops
and this is Ned.
(JIM EXCLAIMING) Oh, hello!
Hi. How are you, Ned?
(CHUCKLING) How about that?
Listen, Cindy.
My doctor thinks I need to
take it easy for a while.
So, I'm going to go to my
sister Dana's for a few days.
Oh!
Yeah.
Oh! So, it's just going
to be me and Tim, Jim,
Bubble Bubble Gumdrops and Ned?
Well, yeah.
And the kids.
(EXCLAIMING) Okay.
Well, don't you worry.
Don't you worry, 'cause
we're not going to let
this big honey bear
out of our sight.
Oh, thanks so much.
Oh, kiss me, Bubble Bubble Gumdrops.
Cheryl.
Cheryl. Cheryl.
Yeah? Cheryl, you
can't do this to me.
Oh, honey, they're good people.
I see that now.
Hey, listen.
I'll send for my things.
(SPEAKING IN FRENCH)
Oh, Cheryl!
(DOOR CLOSES)