"Great Balls of Water"
♪ There's a hundred and
four days of summer vacation ♪
♪ and school comes
along just to end it ♪
♪ So the annual problem
for our generation ♪
♪ is finding a good way to spend it ♪
♪ Like maybe ♪
♪ Building a rocket,
or fighting a mummy ♪
♪ or climbing up the Eiffel Tower ♪
♪ Discovering something
that doesn't exist ♪
Hey!
♪ Or giving a monkey a shower ♪
♪ Surfing tidal waves ♪
♪ Creating nano-bots or
locating Frankenstein's brain ♪
It's over here!
♪ Finding a dodo bird
Painting a continent ♪
♪ Or driving our sister insane ♪
Phineas!
♪ As you can see, there's
a whole lot of stuff to do ♪
♪ before school starts this fall ♪
Come on, Perry!
♪ So stick with us, 'cause
Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all! ♪
♪ So stick with us, 'cause Phineas
and Ferb are gonna do it all! ♪
Mom, Phineas and Ferb
are making a title sequence!
I think this might be
the hottest day on record.
Wait... [SLURPS]
Yep.
- Hi, guys.
- Hey, Baljeet. How was physics camp?
Positively remedial.
How much more basic can you get
than the surface tension
of water droplets?
Surfer tension? What's that?
"Surface" tension is the
property which allows
molecules of water on its surface
to form a sort of stretchy skin
which allows it to retain its shape
and durability at a small size.
Cool! Ferb, I know what
we're gonna do today.
[WATCH ALARM BEEPS]
Not me.
Baljeet: Really?
What are you doing today?
With the hurly-burly of
my busy social calendar
I often forget to have quality
time with my pet goldfish, Biff.
- So I shall smell you later.
- [GATE CLOSES] Wow.
"Smell you later" sounds
a lot more formal when you bow.
Well, Ferb, I know what the
rest of us are gonna do today.
Speaking of pets, where's Perry?
[WATCH BEEPS] Monogram: Sorry I can't be there,
Agent P, but I'm stuck on jury duty.
You'll be getting your mission today from
Director Diphthong from Accounting. Good luck.
[GAVEL BANGS] Uh, no, no.
No, Your Honor, I'm not
speaking on a mobile device.
I'm, I'm talking to a wart on
my hand. Go away, wart! Go away!
Hello, Agent P. It's me, Director
Diphthong from Accounting.
Doctor Doofenshmirtz has been buying
an exorbitant amount of
negative ion generators
and negative power cable and I'm
positive that it can't be good. Yeah.
Uh, so go find out what Doofenshmirtz
is up to, and put a stop to it.
- Descending Diphthong!
- What are you doing?
It's my signature sign-off.
What do you think?
- Descending Diphthong!
- I'd stick with accounting.
Candace: Can you believe
how hot it is today, Jeremy?
Even my dollies are sweating!
Not that I play with dolls,
I just happen to have
a couple on my shelf next
to my unicorn. [CHUCKLES]
Cool.
So what do you want to do today?
I don't know. I thought maybe
we could head to the mall.
I suppose we could go to the mall again.
[ECHOING] The mall again...
The mall again...
Really? The mall again?
Wow, you are so
predictable. So ordinary!
Predictable? Ordinary?
I mean, come on, I play instruments!
Yeah, that all start with
the letter B, as in boring.
♪ Tra-la-la-la... ♪
- Who's that?
- Just pretend she's not there.
- That's what I do.
- Jeremy: Candace?
Candace! Are you there?
Uh, yeah. Yeah, sorry. Forget
the mall. I'm gonna think of
something else to do that's
really cool and totally different.
'Cause, you know, I got to
be my unpredictable self.
So Candace is out. Peace!
Uh, you know what? That's
so overused. Candace is out.
♪ Tra-la-la-la-la! ♪
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Candace, I'm on my way to...
You know, this feels awfully
familiar. I tell you I'm going out,
later you'll tell me Phineas
and Ferb are up to something,
but there's nothing there to see, so we
all have pie. Just another ordinary day.
Ordinary? Do I ordinarily do this?
[LAUGHING MADLY]
♪ Tra-la-la-la-la ♪
♪ Tra-la-la-la-la! ♪
Like I said, just another ordinary day.
Chorus:
# Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! #
Oh, man, why did I save all the
manual labor on my newest Inator
for the hottest day of the
year? I might as well be
doing hot yoga up in this piece!
Can I get a "what, what"?
Norm, where's my "what, what"?
I'm sorry, sir. People
do not say that anymore.
How do you stay so current?
Ah, Perry the Platypus!
Won't you have a seat?
That is not
not how you sit on a chair.
Which means it is! Because
I used a double negative.
Sure, it's grammatically incorrect, but
it is the core of my newest creation,
the Double-Negative-inator!
It takes any negative statement
and turns it into a double
negative, which... which in
turn makes it positive. I...
Anyway, I was dreaming about cold
weather, because it's been so hot lately,
and I remembered how much I
love the Minty Wink Egg Nog
they make at Beverly's Lunch downtown.
So I went out to get one.
But then Beverly told
me I couldn't have it,
because they only make it in the winter.
No matter how I begged and
pleaded, she stood firm.
No Minty Wink Egg Nog
because it's not winter.
[GRUNTS] Anyway, once I
recovered from the shock,
I did what I always do,
solve a simple problem
by inventing a complicated
and menacing machine.
All I have to do is blast
Beverly with this and [BUZZES]
she'll be like, "Oh, I guess you can
have it because it's not not winter."
And suddenly, I'm drinking
Minty Wink Egg Nog, baby!
Perhaps then I can make myself not
not ruler of the Tri-State Area!
Huh? Huh? You didn't
see that coming, did you?
[CHATTERS ANGRILY]
Oh, don't be cranky, Perry the Platypus.
You can have a Minty Wink Egg Nog, too.
Nice work, guys.
We'll have no trouble b*ating the heat
with the world's largest drop of water!
Yes, by my calculations, we have
effectively strengthened the hydrogen bonds
between water molecules so that the
surface tension is virtually unbreakable!
In your face, physics camp!
Booyah!
Come on, g*ng, let's
surf the surface tension!
- Cowabunga!
- Totally awesome!
[ALL CHEERING]
Buford: Okay, today's the big
day of the Danville Fish Show.
Are you nervous?
Don't worry about it. It's normal.
Just remember, today
is your day to shine.
- So are we gonna be scared?
- No, Bufy.
- Are we gonna be tough?
- Yes, Bufy.
So let's see what you got.
Just like we practiced,
jump through the hoop.
You can do it, buddy.
Jump through the hoop.
Victory!
[SIGHS]
What am I gonna do, Stace?
Jeremy wants to spend time with me
but the best thing I could
come up with is the mall.
That's how boring I am.
Well, there's a lot more interesting
things to do. At least my Mom says.
The café, movie theater...
it just all seems so, so ordinary.
I've just gotta find something
cool to do to get me out of my rut.
- You want to come along?
- No, I'm sticking to the mall. It's air conditioned.
Candace:
# I want to be extraordinary #
♪ Not just extra ordinary ♪
♪ It seems like everywhere I see ♪
♪ People far more interesting than me ♪
♪ I know that change is kind of scary ♪
♪ But, baby, I should try to vary ♪
[SIGHS]
♪ Some minor detail, a small degree ♪
♪ A slightly different version of me ♪
♪ I could learn to cook vegetarian ♪
♪ or take a fashion workshop ♪
♪ Meditate, calculate,
learn to knit a t*nk-top ♪
♪ Yoga, hula, clogging,
jogging, walking on a tightrope ♪
♪ Take a correspondence course
and learn to make my own soap ♪
♪ Jumping on a pogo-stick,
standing in a wheat field ♪
♪ Going on a snipe hunt,
got to keep my eyes peeled ♪
♪ Take a little time to
really decorate my door ♪
♪ And change my hair to black and
then I'll dye it back to orange ♪
♪ Underwater taxidermy,
shopping for a suitcase ♪
♪ Peeling tangerines while
placing second in a sack race ♪
♪ Lion taming, online gaming,
trying to win a prize fight ♪
♪ Appearing on a talk show
dressed up like a water sprite ♪
♪ Yeah,
I'm gonna be extraordinary ♪
♪ I'm gonna stand out from the crowd ♪
♪ and shout out loud, you'll see ♪
♪ I'll be a brand new me! ♪
On your marks, get set...
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
Spherical laps. How cool is that?
Awesome! The momentum from the
swimming action is causing us to roll.
Looks like we're taking
this pool party on the road!
[ALL CHEERING]
Phineas: Hey, you know what?
We can totally steer this
thing if we paddle opposite
the direction we want to go.
- Seems counter-intuitive, but okay!
- Full speed ahead, Ferb!
Bumpy Street, dead ahead!
And hang a right onto Zigzag Street!
[ALL WHOOPING]
Phineas: Whoa!
Loop-de-loop Street!
[ALL WHOOPING]
MAN: At least it's
rent-controlled! [CRASHING]
I'm okay. Happens all the time!
[CAR ALARM RINGING]
Okay, a few more tweaks and I'm ready
to double-down on some negatives.
[GRUNTS]
Wow, I... [GRUNTS]
Now that double negative
did not make a positive. Ow!
Oh, you're gonna get it now.
[ music ]
Oh, no, no, no! Oh, now it's
stuck in random fire mode.
I don't know why I
put that mode on there.
- Not it!
- Not it!
- Not it!
- Not not it!
Get him!
We the members of the
jury find the defendant...
not not guilty.
So I guess we find him guilty.
Funny, I could've sworn he was innocent.
[BLOWING WHISTLE]
Hey! Can't you see the detour?
This is not a through street!
Like I said, it's not
not a through street!
- Go ahead.
- Phineas: All right!
[ALL CHEERING]
[GRUNTS] This isn't extraordinary.
It's just embarrassing!
[CHEERING]
Phineas: Hey, Candace!
- Phineas and Ferb!
- Thanks, Bobbi. I'll see you next week.
Mom! Mom!
Mom! Mom!
Candace, what on
Earth is on your head?
Never mind that!
Phineas and Ferb are rolling
through town on a giant
ball of water! Come on!
What about your fruit hat?
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen,
let's hear it for our next contestants,
Rodney Von Rodenstein and his pet
piranha, Fluffy, with their hoop trick!
[AUDIENCE GASPS]
Ta-da!
What a terrific new twist to a
tired old trick! [AUDIENCE APPLAUDS]
Let's see what the judges have to say.
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDS] Wow! That
puts Rodney and Fluffy in the lead
and almost impossible to b*at!
Next up are Buford and
his pet goldfish, Biff,
doing their version
of the hoop jump trick.
Good luck topping that one, guys.
Okay, Biffy, we're up.
Jump through the...
Oh, no! Public art! Right ahead!
It must be part of the
Public Art Relocation Program!
[ALL SCREAMING]
[ALL LAUGHING]
Phineas: Yeah!
You did it, Biff!
We're number one!
- Congrats, guys!
- Thanks.
I'm gonna put Biff's prize
money in a scholarship fund
for that fancy fish
school in the Maldives.
- Wait until you see this giant ball of water!
- Phineas: Hi, guys!
Come on in, the water's great!
You're right, Candace, there
is a giant ball of water.
Though most people
prefer to call it a lake.
Wow! A party on the lake?
I never would've thought of that!
You come up with the best ideas.
We can go to the mall tomorrow.
- You really want to go to the mall again?
- We're teenagers. It's what we do.
Ha! You mi...
Ow!
[GRUNTS]
Well, that was refreshing.
[expl*si*n] Oh, that was not
not the self-destruct button.
[GRUNTS] Well, oh, man, once
again, the place is trashed,
you just take off, leaving
me here to clean it all up.
Does it ever occur to
you, Perry the Platypus,
how much of a mess is left after
one of our little tete-a-tetes?
I bet it never even occurred to you
that I keep talking to you
for a while after you're gone!
I mean, it's probably a
sad commentary on my life
that I'm wearing an apron and talking
to a platypus that's no longer...
How long have you been
standing there, Vanessa?
Vanessa: Long enough, Dad.
"Where's Pinky?"
So, we all need to be prepared.
You want to find a safe place
and establish a defensive perimeter.
- Like in the basement?
- No! You never go in the basement!
What is going on here?
It's just our bi-monthly Zombie
Apocalypse Preparedness lecture.
Yeah. You're welcome to join us.
You might learn something.
Please, Phineas. There's nothing
about zombies that I don't know.
Did you know there's
one standing behind you?
[SCREAMS]
- Very funny.
- Ha! Good one, bro.
- Phineas, Pinky's missing.
- Oh, that's too bad, Isabella.
Chihuahuas. That's the
first thing zombies go for.
- Uh, we've moved past zombies, Buford.
- He's been gone all morning!
He didn't even touch his breakfast
burrito! What am I going to do?
- We could put up posters.
- We could do nothing.
We could make a portable
positronic canine detector
using the olfactory receptors
that Ferb and I were gonna use
for our milligram-scale
purification study.
- Let's do that one.
- You kids have fun.
Really, I wish I could
stay and bust you,
but I have a lunch date with
Jeremy down at City Hall.
- City Hall serves lunch?
- I thought they only served subpoenas.
Oh, come on! What's a guy got to
do to get a rimshot around here?
[FRUSTRATED SIGH]
For your information, I'm
going down to City Hall
because Jeremy's working in
the Slushy Dawg concession stand
at the food court there and
we're gonna have lunch... together.
But don't worry, Isabella,
I am sure Pinky will turn up.
Perry always does.
Speaking of which, where is Perry?
- And where's Pinky?
- And where's that breakfast burrito?
[DRUM ROLL]
Ha! There's my guy!
Ah, Agent P.
I believe you know Agent Pinky.
Agent Pinky informs us that
Doof intends to steal the deed
to the Tri-State Area from
the City Hall archives.
It seems he's discovered
that whoever has the deed
automatically becomes the ruler.
It's an old law from a simpler time.
You'll find that Agent Pinky
is quite an asset, Agent P.
He's good with computers, covert ops,
and quite frankly, he needs the hours.
So get out there and stop Doofenshmirtz!
Good luck, Agents P and, uh, P.
I guess you're just two
peas in a pod. [CHUCKLES]
Carl, where's my rimshot?
- Carl: It's right in front of you.
- How did you do that?
Now I am here, but the best
way to the food court is...
- Is by taking the mandatory
City Hall tour! - But...
Wouldn't want a bunch of uninformed
people wandering around City Hall.
- But...
- You can't fight it.
I've been on this
tour since this morning
and I've been caught
trying to escape twice!
No talking back there!
Now follow me to a world of
bureaucratic action and adventure!
Perry the Platypus? No way!
What a coincidence!
Excuse me.
If you and your mullet
will take one step to the...
Thank you.
Oh, look, you brought your
little dog, too! How cute.
Oh, FYI, I don't think
they allow dogs in here,
so, you know, watch out for that.
Anyway, I bet you're wondering
why I'm in City Hall, right?
Well, I plan to go down into the
secret City Hall vault and steal the...
Oh, you, you knew that, right?
[HUFFS] Right, right... of course.
'Cause that's probably why
you're here, to stop me, right?
What you probably don't know is how
I will get into the vault
without being noticed.
Behold! My
Blend-into-the-Background-inator.
I will be able to search out and
steal the hidden deed because, like
they say, it's easier to find a hidden
object when you're hidden as well.
What? [STAMMERS]
That's a thing. They say that.
Anyway, I place the
Inator on my head, like so,
I press this button and I,
I'm here, and I'm blended in.
I'm here, I'm gone,
I'm here, I'm go...
Oh, my head! [STUTTERS]
I hope there's no long
term damage from this, but, ugh...
Anyway, I'll bet you think
I forgot to trap you. Well, surprise!
You're already trapped!
By bureaucracy!
You see, you don't have
a number, Perry the Platypus.
So by the time you and your
little dog get into the archives,
I will already be ruler
of the Tri-State Area!
[LAUGHING]
I'm sorry, you cannot go in
there without a number, sir.
Oh, please don't tell
me you brought your dog.
Behold!
The Dog Sensomatic Helmet!
It will amplify Buford's
senses to those of a dog!
Okay, Buford, uh, what do you smell now?
I think I can smell the future.
- It's working!
- Do you smell Pinky yet?
I smell something.
[SNIFFING]
I smell...
[SNIFFING] I smell bacon!
- Isabella and Baljeet: No, Buford, wait!
- Phineas: Uh-oh!
Now this is a very old painting
depicting John P. Tri-State
and Otto H. Adjacent...
Excuse me, I just need
to get to the food court.
Please hold all your questions
till the end, those are the rules.
And also, please
refrain from gum chewing,
and there are no pets
allowed on the tour.
Also, there are no cutsies,
or halfsies for funsies.
And absolutely no crossing
the stanchions, please!
No cruzar la cuerda, por favor!
To the basement!
[LAUGHS]
Quit it! Fresh!
All right, let's see...
"Garage, basement,
"catacombs, pessimistic humanoid
underground dwellings..."
Ah! Here it is!
"Gift Shop and Secret Vault!"
- Who's a good boy?
- It's me, right?
- Who's a good boy? You mean me, right?
- You're a good boy!
- Yes, you are! Yes, you are!
- Isabella?
How does this help us with Pinky?
Easy. I've been rubbing his
belly with Pinky's squeak toy.
Now he's got the scent!
He's this way! I can smell it!
- Good boy!
- Yeah, I'm a good boy, right?
- Yes, you are!
- Huh?
Oh, that had better not be the mailman.
No, Buford, you're supposed
to be finding Pinky!
[GRUNTS]
[GROANS] What kind of elevator
falls at the speed of gravity?
Why did they even put an elevator there?
I could just jump down
the shaft or... [GASPS]
The deed!
Well, I guess it's not...
not all that hidden then, is it?
Or maybe it's just easier
to find 'cause I'm hidden!
Yes!
I knew that was a real saying!
Come to papa!
[ELEVATOR RINGS]
[GASPS]
Perry the Platypus?
Oh, and your pet dog?
How did you escape the
clutches of bureaucracy?
[STUTTERS]
Oh, you took a number.
I guess the line wasn't as long
as I thought. But you're too late"
Once I get outside, I will
own the Tri-State Area!
Wait! Which one is it?
Oh, great! Now I'm confused!
And over here are the spontaneous
musical number dioramas.
- The huh?
- Ooh, Danville is known
for its spontaneous musical numbers.
For instance...
♪ A lot of people know that
the Tri-State Area ♪
♪ used to be the Bi-State Area
with an adjacent area over there ♪
♪ What people don't
know is that originally ♪
♪ it was three distinct Single-State areas, ♪
♪ but people don't care ♪
♪ The founders of the area
were independent thinkers ♪
♪ Completely unaffected
by bureaucratic hurdles ♪
♪ And that's why the Capital building
was moved here from Sri Lanka ♪
♪ on the backs of
seven giant sea turtles ♪
♪ It's the history of an area,
the Tri-State area ♪
♪ Formed mostly from adobe and seaweed ♪
♪ If you've heard it different elsewhere ♪
♪ That's historical hysteria ♪
♪ So, stop believing everything you read ♪
♪ Over here's a diorama
of the first Diorama ♪
♪ Of Vincent Diorama
who lived right here ♪
♪ When I say right here,
I mean, in this very room ♪
♪ Till we moved him to
a studio apartment last year ♪
♪ It's the history of an area,
the Tri-State area ♪
♪ Don't mean to cause a ruckus or a fuss ♪
♪ It's the purpose of the
onion and the Danville Cafeteria ♪
♪ And home of Big Foot's
hairless cousin Uzz ♪
♪ It's the history of an area,
the Tri-State area ♪
♪ Where planet Venus
holds an office space ♪
♪ Try to think of someplace better ♪
♪ Well, I double-dog dare ya ♪
♪ But if you can't,
then get out of my face ♪
♪ It's the history of
the Tri-State Area ♪
CHORUS:
# History of the Tri-State area, area #
And now step this way for the history
of the history of accounting.
[ALL GROAN]
Okay, let's see.
The Declaration of Independence,
the Magna Carta,
the deed to the Tri-State...
I mean, the Mayflower Compact.
Ha-ha!
Goodbye, Perry the Platypus!
Buford: Oh! Oh! In here!
Follow Buford!
- Hey, you guys, he went in here.
- I think Buford found him.
Really? A doggie door in a municipal
building that does not allow dogs?
Wha... uh, who did that?
Isabella: This way, everyone!
Let's see, how do you
get out of here now?
Hey!
[Buford SNIFFS]
[GRUNTS]
[SNORTS]
Huh? Another dog!
This way!
Oh, I hope it's Pinky.
[SNIFFING] Right here!
Right here and... what?
He should be right here.
Aw, man!
I don't get it. Uh, maybe the
helmet needs to be fine-tuned.
Yeah. You guys do that.
I'm gonna go get a Slushy Dawg.
Doofenshmirtz: ...R-I-D-E,
colon. Password?
Oh, good, I'm really good at passwords.
Okay, let's see. Uh, how
about, uh, "reindeer flotilla"?
Ah! And send.
Ha-ha! Yes!
Now, I'll just take this deed outside
and I'll be the ruler of the...
Perry the Platypus?
And your little dog, too?
You're both persistent,
I'll give you that.
But the security system
is offline and there's
nothing you or your little
dog friend can do about it.
You know, unless one of you happens
to be really good with computers.
Monogram's voice:
Agent Pinky is good with computers.
Good with computers...
Good with computers... [WHISTLES]
Wow! That guy is really
good with computers!
Now, who's ready to see
the whole tour again?
[MAN SCREAMS]
MAN : Run!
Actually, the song part was nice.
Oh, you like the song, do ya?
Well...
- Hey! Hold it! Is that a dog?
- Hey, it's Pinky!
I'm sorry, no dogs allowed.
This tour is officially over.
Candace! Candace, you
found him! Thank you!
You said he'd turn up and he did!
- Oh, there you are, Perry!
- Way to go, Candace!
Come on, you two wandering pets,
- who wants a breakfast burrito?
- I do!
Exactly how long have you
worked here at City Hall?
Oh, I don't work here.
I was sent by Yarnak to help
uninformed citizens in need.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I
am needed elsewhere. Whoosh!
- Hey, Candace, where were you?
- I'm sorry I missed lunch, Jeremy,
but this weird guy made me go on a tour.
That's Don. He's, uh, kind
of a fixture around here.
I'm the ruler of the Tri-State Area!
[DRUM ROLL]
Oh, great! Now I'm confused!
♪ It's the history of an area,
the Tri-State area ♪
♪ Don't mean to cause a ruckus or a fuss ♪
♪ It's the purpose of the onion
and the Danville Cafeteria ♪
♪ And home of Big Foot's
hairless cousin Uzz ♪
♪ It's the history of an area,
the Tri-State area ♪
♪ Where planet Venus
holds an office space ♪
♪ Try to think of someplace better ♪
♪ Well, I double-dg dare ya ♪
♪ But if you can't,
then get out of my face ♪
♪ It's the history of the Tri-State area ♪
CHORUS:
# History of the Tri-State area, area #