01x03 - Episode #1.3

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Twin Peaks". Aired: April 8, 1990 - September 3, 2017.*
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Series follows an investigation by FBI Special Agent Dale and local Sheriff Harry into the m*rder of homecoming queen Laura Palmer in the fictional town of Twin Peaks.
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01x03 - Episode #1.3

Post by bunniefuu »

No, no. No, not in my room, in here. In here.

Jerry, back from Paris?

Ben, what a nightmare. Right there, no, no, right there.

What is with you guys?

I've got a sandwich in there, I want all those bags opened.

We're looking until we find it.

Hey, Audrey, Uncle Jerry's back. Heh.

Sylvia. Benjamin.

Okay, okay. Go on. Goodbye.

Brother Ben, this is the best damn sandwich I ever ate.

It's a baguette, with Brie and butter.

I had four of these damn things every day I was there.

You got to try this thing.

Here, go ahead, eat it, go ahead.

Go ahead.

Oh, yeah.

Mm.

Mm. Mm!

Mm! This is incredible, Jer.

You know what this reminds us of? You know who likes this?

It reminds us of Ginny and Jenny's down by the river.

Hmm? By God, you're right.

Am I right? Am I right? Hmm?

Oh, no wonder.

Mm. Mm!

Mm. Jer.

Outside, outside, outside.

Mm. Oh.

Always a pleasure.

Mm. Incredible. Incredible.

Mm. Jer.

Leland's daughter was m*rder*d and the Norwegians left.

Did they sign?

Deal's off.

Oh!

We had those Vikings by the horns, what happened?

We're not a hundred percent sure, they took their translator with them.

Did you say Leland's daughter was m*rder*d?

Yes.

Ugh, I'm depressed.

I can fix that.

There's a new girl at One-Eyed Jack's.

Freshly scented from the perfume counter.

And you, brother Jer, have a 50-50 chance of being first in line.

I like those odds.

All work and no play make Ben and Jerry dull boys.

That's right.

Let's jump in the boat.

That's great huckleberry pie, Mrs. Hayward.

Thank you, James.

Well...

Mrs. Hayward and I are gonna say good night, James.

Good night, James.

Good night.

Good night, dear. Good night, Mom.

Uh, don't worry about the dishes. I'll clean up.

Are you, uh, coming to church with us in the morning, Donna?

Yes.

Nine o'clock sharp. Okay.

Good night, James. Good night, sir.

Hi, sailor.

Good evening, Mr. Horne.

Ah, heh-heh.

Now, Ben, we're not gonna go in the casino first, are we?

Jer, I didn't come here to lose my shirt, I just came to take it off.

Yeah.

Kim, the Horne brothers are here. I'll tell Blackie.

Sweetheart, I'd like to order two drinks.

One double Scotch on the rocks and my brother would like a double Scotch on the rocks.

That's two double Scotch on the rocks.

Next stop, rocket science.

Jerry.

Ah.

Blackie. Benjamin.

Mm.

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

Thou art more lovely and more temperate Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, And every fair from fair sometimes declines, By chance or nature's changing course untrimmed But thy eternal summer shall not fade, Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st, Nor shall death brag... Where's the new girl?

When you really want love, you'll find it waiting for you.

Heads.

Ah.

Come on. We'll take care of you, Jerry.

Well...

Donna, I don't think that what we're feeling or doing is wrong.

Why not?

Because it's the truth.

Because I think it would have turned out this way anyway.

You do?

Yes.

I remember a time in school, in the hall, we were suddenly alone and we looked at each other.

I almost told you I loved you then.

It's true.

It is true, isn't it?

Oh, James.

I guess because of Laura I couldn't say anything.

I couldn't even let myself think it. Me too.

Are we gonna be together, James?

Are we?

Are we, James?

Special Agent Dale Cooper.

Hello, it's Hawk.

Deputy Hawk, how is Ronette Pulaski?

Body and spirit are still far apart.

What did you find out from her parents?

Ronette recently quit her job at the perfume counter of Horne's department store.

Everything else is quiet, except this afternoon there was a one-armed man snooping around intensive care.

A one-armed man?

Left.

Did you question him?

Negative. I pursued but he got away.

Maintain an around-the-clock watch on Ronette and we'll speak in the morning.

You got it?

Supposed to leave it in this stupid football.

Is it in there?

Not all of it.

Cash on delivery, Bobby.

He's got a g*n.

Hey, Leo. Hey.

Who's that?

Is there someone with you?

Never mind. Toss it over here, quarterback.

It's empty. Is that right?

Weren't you supposed to leave something in there for me?

This barely covers what we paid for.

Where's the rest? Where's the rest of the money?

There's a... There's a problem.

Problem?

Laura had the other half, in a safe deposit box.

You think you got problems?

We can get it, Leo. Just wait till everything settles down.

You punks owe me 10 grand.

Leo needs a new pair of shoes.

Okay.

We won't take delivery on the dr*gs until you get the cash.

Do I look like a bank?

I appreciate your position.

But this thing with Laura, how can I anticipate that kind of thing?

Hey, man, Laura was a wild girl.

Tell me about it.

Maybe. Someday.

Take your hand out of your pocket, Mike.

What is your problem, Leo?

Problem?

You want to know about problems?

Okay.

You're on the road.

Driving back and forth. Gone for days.

You get back and guess what?

What?

You find out your old lady's been giving it away.

Yeah? Yeah.

Stepping out in your own damn bedroom.

That's a problem.

I guess so.

I guess it is.

Do you know who? A man needs a clean house.

Sure, yeah.

So do you know who?

I'll take care of it.

Sure you will, man.

This other thing, hell, we'll take care of that, don't you worry about that.

We'll get the cash and everything will be square.

Go out for a pass.

What?

Go out for a pass. Okay.

Just... Run.

Just take it easy. Run!

Take it easy. Easy.

Run! Take it easy.

Damn it. I'm done, Bobby.

Let's get the hell out of here.

Ed. I'm sorry, honey, I didn't see it there.

You stepped on my drape runner.

Well, honey, it was right out in the middle of the floor.

You think that's an accident?

I laid those out there myself.

I was up all night working on that invention.

I'm going to have the world's first 100 percent quiet runner.

I'm real sorry, Nadine.

Ed, you make me sick.

That's it.

Exactly 60 feet, six inches.

It's perfect.

What do you think he's up to?

It beats me.

Invitation to love.

Each day brings a new beginning.

And every hour holds the promise of an Invitation to Love.

Right.

Who is it?

Hey, baby, it's the big bad bobcat.

Are you crazy? What are you doing here?

I just passed Leo, he started to diesel up out in North Bend.

We got at least 20 minutes. Oh, God.

Where's your car?

Parked in the woods, come on.

Open sesame. Somebody might see me out here and that'd be worse.

Bobby, you cannot come by here like this.

We can't see each other for a while.

What the hell happened to you?

Leo Johnson happened to me.

That bastard.

Come here.

Bobby, if he finds out about us, he's gonna k*ll you.

He'll k*ll us both.

If he ever does this to you again, I'll k*ll him.

I mean it.

Bobby.

Cup of coffee.

It's not the first time, it won't be the last, but I'm in that doghouse again.

What happened this time?

Well, I popped a grease g*n, stepped on a drape runner and all hell broke loose.

I ran into Nadine in the hardware store.

That's all she talked about were those drape runners.

She's got one big bee in her bonnet.

Young Bobby sure gave me a good one didn't he?

Where do you want these rocks?

Put them right down there by the doughnuts, deputy.

Anyone for a warm-up?

Yes. You bet. You bet.

Right over here. Thanks, Lucy.

Damn good coffee.

And hot.

Would everyone please take a seat?

Ah.

By way of explaining what we're about to do, I am first going to tell you a little bit about the country called Tibet.

An extremely spiritual country, for centuries the leader of Tibet has been known as the Dalai Lama.

In 1950, Communist China invaded Tibet and while leaving the Dalai Lama nominally in charge, they in fact seized control of the entire country.

In 1959, after a Tibetan uprising against the Chinese, the Dalai Lama was forced to flee to India for his life and has lived in exile ever since.

Following a dream I had three years ago, I have become deeply moved by the plight of the Tibetan people and filled with a desire to help them.

I also awoke from the same dream realizing that I had subconsciously gained knowledge of a deductive technique, involving mind-body coordination operating hand in hand with the deepest level of intuition.

Sheriff, Deputy Hawk, if you will please assist me, I will now demonstrate.

You will recall on the day of her death Laura Palmer wrote the following entry in her diary:

"Nervous about meeting J tonight."

Today, we're going to concentrate on the J's.

Harry, when I give the word, would you please read aloud each of the names I've written on the blackboard.

Okey-doke. Deputy Hawk, stand over here and hold this bucket of rocks up near me where I can get to them.

Would you please put on the kitchen mittens?

Deputy Andy, move down, stand by the bottle.

Lucy, take this piece of chalk.

Not too near, Andy.

I'm getting excited.

If I should strike the bottle after Sheriff Truman says a particular name, make a check to the right of that name.

Oh. Sheriff, I almost forgot, when you say the name, also briefly state that person's relationship to Laura Palmer.

Ready?

Ready. Ready.

James Hurley.

Secret boyfriend.

James Hurley.

Josie Packard. Was instructed in English by Laura.

Josie Packard.

So there's no check next to either of these names?

That's correct, please continue.

Dr. Lawrence Jacoby, Laura's psychiatrist.

Dr. Lawrence Jacoby.

You did it, you hit it.

Lucy, make a note that the bottle was struck but did not break.

Very important. Okay.

Andy, put that bottle back exactly where it was.

Johnny Horne.

Laura was his special education tutor.

Johnny Horne.

Norma Jennings.

She helped Laura organize the Meals on Wheels program.

Norma Jennings.


Shelly Johnson.

Waitress at diner, friend.

Shelly Johnson.

Sorry, Andy. Sweetie?

It didn't hurt.

It didn't hurt a bit.

Where there's no sense, there's no feeling, Andy.

Cooper.

Tell me.

The idea for all this really came from a dream?

Yes. It did.

Uh, Jack with One Eye.

Maybe it's the letter I, but there's no I in Jack.

I think perhaps it means he only had one eye, Lucy.

Sounds like, uh, Nadine, Big Ed Hurley's wife.

No, no, no, there's a casino up north called One-Eyed Jack's, across the border on the Canadian side.

That's it, we're gonna go and check that place out.

Okay.

Agent Cooper, I'm going to erase this because it's a place and not a person.

Actually, maybe the person could be in the place.

So should I erase it? Yes.

Yes, a person could be in a place, or yes, I should...?

Lucy. Erase it, Lucy.

Next name, Harry.

Leo Johnson.

Husband of Shelly, drives a truck, connection with Laura...

Unknown. Leo Johnson.

Ah!

Little Audrey Horne just walked in.

Yeah, I saw her at church. Wonder what she's doing down here.

Hi, Audrey. Hi, Norma.

Can I have a cup of coffee, please? Sure.

Remind me to stop at the hardware store to get those 60-watt bulbs.

Thanks.

I'm gonna go say hi.

Hi.

Hi, Donna.

So my parents said they saw you at church today.

I didn't see you.

Yeah, I came by because of Laura.

What do you mean?

I didn't even think you liked her.

There were things about Laura I didn't like, but she did help to take care of my brother Johnny.

Guess I sort of loved her for that.

Do you like coffee?

Yeah. With cream and sugar.

Agent Cooper loves coffee.

Audrey.

But Agent Cooper likes his coffee black.

Can I ask you something? Sure.

Did Laura ever talk about my father?

What do you mean?

Nothing.

No, what do you mean?

He used to sing to her.

God, I love this music.

Isn't it too dreamy?

Can you believe this?

Hawk found this half mile down the tracks from the crime site.

Oh, it's a nasty piece of work.

Tell Agent Cooper that Albert and his team are here.

Albert? A-L-B-E-R-T.

Are we gonna have to stand here all afternoon?

No. Albert Rosenfield.

R-O-S-E-N-F-l-E-L-D.

Sheriff, this is Lucy.

Is Agent Cooper with you?

Yes, he is.

Are Albert and his team here, Lucy?

Yes, he is. They are.

We're on our way.

Agent Cooper will be right with you.

Yeah, I can hear perfectly well, Curly.

Harry, Albert and his team are cream of the crop.

Albert's a forensic genius.

If they're working for you, I wouldn't expect anything less.

But I got to warn you. Albert's lacking in some of the social niceties.

Nobody's perfect. Isn't that the truth?

What the hell kind of a two-bit operation they running out of this tree house, Cooper?

Albert, this is Sheriff Truman.

I have seen some slipshod backwater burgs, but this place takes the cake.

What are you waiting for, Christmas? Got work to do.

They're putting this girl in the ground tomorrow, and we've wasted half the day traveling here to the middle of nowhere.

Well, Albert, I suggest you and your team should get started.

I'll have one of my men escort you over to the morgue.

That'd be fine.

Results from the local pathologist's report.

Welcome to amateur hour.

Looks like an all nighter, boys.

Albert.

Got a minute?

I hear that you're real good at what you do.

Yeah, that's correct. Well, that's good.

Because normally if a stranger walked into my station talking this kind of crap, he'd be looking for his teeth two blocks up on q*eer street.

Good night, Ed.

Ed, is that you?

Yeah, honey, it's me.

Ed! Oh, my God.

Oh, Ed, I'm so happy, sweetheart, I have to thank you.

Why's that?

You don't know what you've done for me?

No, I don't.

Oh, Ed, you big lug.

When you tracked all that grease into the house today, you spilled some on my cotton balls, but instead of tossing them out, I put the greased ones on the runners, and, Ed, just listen to this.

Completely silent.

How about that?

Oh, Ed.

We are gonna be so rich.

Everything smells like fish around here.

Well, you could wash your socks separately.

What did that FBI man want up here today?

Very nice fellow.

Asked a few questions.

About what?

Oh, he talked to Josie mostly.

I had a problem with a fish.

Took a liking to my percolator.

What did he want to talk to Josie about?

Why don't you ask her?

Here's the key, the ledger's inside.

Thank you. You betcha.

Didn't he want to talk to me?

Yeah, but we told him you were on your world tour, he should contact your press agent.

Get your boots off my bed and go to your room!

I didn't want to get mink oil on my bedspread.

You got mink oil on your head.

Two books.

Oh.

Leland?

Leland, stop it. We have to dance.

We have to dance, Sarah. We have to dance.

For Laura.

Oh, Leland, stop it. Give that to me, give it to me.

We have to dance. Leland, Leland.

Give it to me.

What is going on in this house?

Leland, what is going on in this house?

Oh, God!

Laura.

Laura.

Through the darkness of future pasts The magician longs to see One chants out between two worlds

"Fire, walk with me"

We lived among the people.

I think you say, convenience store.

We lived above it.

I mean it like it is, like it sounds.

I, too, have been touched by the devilish one.

Tattoo on the left shoulder.

Ah, but when I saw the face of God, I was changed.

I took the entire arm off.

My name is Mike.

His name is Bob.

Mike?

Mike, can you hear me?

Catch you with my Death Bag.

You may think I've gone insane.

But I promise I will k*ll again.

But it is Laura Palmer.

Are you Laura Palmer?

Harry, it's Cooper.

Meet me for breakfast, 7 a.m., the hotel lobby.

I know who k*lled Laura Palmer.

No, it can wait till morning.
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