05x01 - Genesis

[bunniefuu]

[AMBIENT MUSIC]

[WATER RUSHING]

[SIRENS WAILING]

Blood pressure's dropping.

We're gonna lose her.

[SIRENS WAILING]

♪ ♪

Damn it, she's flatlining.

Come on, breathe.

Come on, breathe!

Nothing?

♪ ♪

Time of death, : a.m.

Christmas Day.

[MACHINERY BEEPING]

[SOFT MUSIC]

[LAUGHS]

[COUGHING]

I d*ed!

I was dead!

[COUGHING]

I saw everything! I saw everything!

♪ ♪

How you feeling?

You were dead for seconds, you know.

[MONITOR BEEPING]

I've never felt better.

[AMBIENT ELECTRONIC MUSIC]

♪ ♪

♪ Over till the sky is lowered ♪

- She's just walking...
- Dory!

- Dory!
- Where is room ?

We don't have time to look ourselves.

Excuse me,
you all need to take it down a notch.

It's the holidays.
People are trying to die.

Oh, my God, there she is.

- Oh, my God.
- She looks awful.

Are you her family?

Yeah, we're all married to her.

- Excuse me.
- Excuse us.

Sorry, we're...

Hi, Dory.

- Hi.
- Hi...

- Hi, guys.
- Honey, hi!

Oh, sweetie,
we came as almost as soon as we heard.

How are you doing? Are you okay?

[MACHINERY BEEPING]

I d*ed.

- [LAUGHS]
- No.

- I d*ed.
- It sounds so funny.

I mean, I just can't believe it.

Do you mean dead like when people say

"Okay, I'm literally dead"

or dead like you're literally dead?

No, Elliott, I was dead.

seconds!

It's on my chart.

But I'm so happy.

I mean I'm just so hopeful, you know.

It's like a huge well of joy

just... just bubbling up
from within me, you know.

It's love. It's love.

Oh, and... [CHUCKLES]

it is infinite,

but at the same time, there is no time.

You know, I can see
the way you guys see me.

And it's so... it's so funny,

but it's all so true.

- Wow.
- Hmm.

- Cool.
- What did you see?

I saw you.

Like, all of you.

And you were there, and you were there,

and you were there! [LAUGHS]

You were at my funeral.

And I was watching you.

You were all there for me.
Oh, it was so intense.

Well, that sounds like a
really cool dream, Dory.

It really wasn't a dream, Drew.

- It was real.
- All right.

You were really there.

I mean, it was like
an alternate universe

where I... I...
like, I stayed dead, you know.

And I almost stayed there.

But then I got a message,

but it wasn't in words.

It was beyond that.

I was being combined, you know.

It was like all of my sides,

like the different mes.

Just... [IMITATING ZAPPING]

Like, I was just connecting things,
you know.

Just, like, at, like,
a million miles per hour, you know.

It was like past, present,
future, love, love, love, time,

time, time, love, feature,
time flying, fine,

fine, time, time. Love, love,

everyone, everyone,
everyone, love, time, time.

[BABBLING FRANTICALLY] And then,

all of a sudden I was told to go back,

because I had more work to do here.

- Wow, yeah.
- Mm.

And work is amazing.

Do you think you'll apply for jobs or?

- No, I need you all...
- Come here.

[SNIFFLES] Come here.

Okay, honey.

I need y'all to really hear me.

Life...

is so beautiful.

I mean, oh, my God.

You know, just like what a gift.

I'm just so grateful. We're alive.

We are all alive.

- Mm...
- Yeah.

That's... I never
thought of it that way.

- That's insane.
- Yeah.

Well, we should probably go

talk to the doctor and
just check in and see

when we can get you out of here.

- Okay.
- Yeah.

I'm gonna see also if we can get you

a little water for your dry little face.

- [GIGGLES]
- All right, girly girl.

- Mwah.
- Bye.

- Bye.
- [SQUEAKS AND SIGHS]

I do not wanna go back in there.

Life is beautiful? Like, no, it's not.

Look at how ugly everyone here is.

She d*ed and imagined her own funeral.

It's like a level of narcissism

that none of us can relate to.

But I don't think
that's just narcissism.

I can be friends with a dead narcissist.

- I cannot be friends with that.
- %.

You guys, I think that we have

to think about this
responsibly, all right?

I don't know if we can give her

the type of help she needs.

Maybe we should actually commit her.

What?

Commit her to, like, a loony bin?

If that's not what crazy looks like,

I don't know what is.

Maybe she just finally snapped.

You know, I hate
agreeing with you, Drew,

but I think honestly,
you might be right.

I don't know if you guys remember,

but I was committed once

and you just check yourself out.

It's basically a hotel.

I think she needs, like, real help.

You know, like eyes on her at all times,

- you know, like full blown.
- Yes.

Can you imagine that person

just out in a restaurant
or a state fair?

[WHINES] Guys,

what if she, like, hates us forever?

It doesn't matter.

All right, we have to do what's right.

And also finally get
her out of our lives

once and for all.

Nursey, hi.

Can we forcibly commit

someone to a mental institution?

- Yeah, you absolutely can.
- It's called a .

Is that something you'd
be interested in today?

["WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS"
PLAYING ON SPEAKER]

Yeah.

Whee!

Bye, bye. Bye, bye.

I'd wave if I could. Oh, bye.

Oh, wow, you're so beautiful.

Aw, I love you.

Thank you so much for pushing
me with such good care.

♪ ♪

Did we have a car in Babyfoot?

How did we get there?

Didn't we have a...
like, we rented a car?

- No, it doesn't matter.
- Insurance covers everything.

Guys, we did the right thing, right?

Yeah, absolutely.

She ruined our lives,
like, ten times over.

Now we're never ever going

to get real good normal jobs ever again.

So true.

I wouldn't be some news
clown if it weren't for Dory.

You know what? I don't want that

hanging over my head
anymore. I'm quitting.

I'm gonna retire too.

It's the last time I'm
ever gonna play Dory.

You know what, guys?

Sorry, actually, I'm
gonna head that way.

I have something that
I need to take care of

that's actually pretty huge.

What... El, what do you
have to go take care of now?

Portia, will you just mind

your own g*dd*mn business for once?

- [INDIGNANT GASP]
- I'm sorry.

I'm so tired. I love you.

[GROANS] Babes, El.

[WHINING]

Well, I don't have a
place to stay tonight.

If... if I could crash?

Yeah, you can come over,
Drewbie, keep me company.

- Oh, my God, what?
- Hi.

I've been thinking and I
think we can make it work.

No!

- Don't get me wrong.
- Like, I wanna move on

and I wanna love somebody else.

But if I cut ties with Dory,

like, I don't wanna feel like

no one's ever gonna love or
know the real me, you know.

Especially not anybody normal.

I gotta really be honest with
myself about what I've done.

Yeah, we're disgusting,
and we're cursed.

- Yeah.
- Just feel like...

[SIGHS]

I don't know,
nobody new is ever gonna love us.

So true.

No one is ever gonna understand this.

And it's like, "What?" [GROANS]

What are we supposed to do?

f*ck each other?

[LAUGHS] Yeah.

That's the thing,
that's what wasn't working between us.

We were toxic, but we
weren't honoring that.

Right, and that's what makes
us soulmates in the shadows.

Exactly, Mark, exactly.

Yeah, we just need to be better

at communicating our own toxic needs.

Like, personally,
there are moments when I need

to not think about you
for huge chunks of time.

You know, that's my own time

for me to cut my heart off to you.

- I hear that.
- Mm-hmm.

And, for me,

there are instances when
I need you to hurt me.

- Great.
- Yeah.

But not in a way that feels planned,
you know.

Yeah.

I-I want it to feel organic, you know?

Like, I will resent it

if I feel that you feel
obligated to hurting me.

Aww/

Feels so good talking like this.

[LAUGHS] It really does.

- So what do you say?
- Should we go for it?

Yeah, let's do it.

Mm...

I want you to give me a baby.

- That's what I want.
- Yeah?

That's just crazy
'cause I was just thinking that too, so.

Yeah?

Do you think that we should have sex?

I mean, I guess it's kinda like...

we don't have a choice.

So let the sex begin.

Right.

[BUTTONS SNAPPING]

[UNZIPPING JACKET LOUDLY]

[SIRENS WAILING DISTANTLY]

[BELT BUCKLE CLANKING]

[ZIPPER DRAGGING]

How's the temperature in here?

It's awesome, the temperature.

- I'm gonna kiss you.
- Okay.

Okay.

Mm...

Feels nice.

[C DUNCAN'S "SAY"]

[DREAMY POP MUSIC]

♪ ♪

♪ Say something to stop ♪

♪ The sound of the siren calls ♪

♪ Say something to silence ♪

♪ All of the sounding stalls away ♪

♪ So bye ♪

♪ So bowing on again ♪

♪ To go where the April Isle I know ♪

♪ Bowing on again and so ♪

And to see this grass

or my elbow or the wind is...

it's to experience it
all for the first time.

Would you say it's God?

Well, Dr. Lombardo,

if I had to give it a name...

it's love.

And I-I just want to convey that

to... to everyone, you know.

I want them to feel what I feel.

Yes, yes.

I put my soul through
so much over the years,

but none of that evolution

could ever hold a candle

to the all-encompassing,
total eclipse of death.

I am new.

I am changed.

And yet...

I have been here, always.

This is probably
unprofessional of me to say,

but I wish I were you.

You're the real deal. You're...

enlightened.

You deserve to be let out of here.

Well, Dr. Lombardo,
tell it to the board.

I mean, don't get me
wrong, I like it here,

but I finally have a purpose.

I really believe I can help people.

You've helped me.

What if I told you,
you could grow your own business

on your own terms,
free of messy negotiations,

free of bad press, free of shame.

What if I told you with
one download of an app

you could set up shop anywhere,

wherever,
whenever without anybody stopping you.

SEIZE.

With SEIZE, the law is finally,
totally on your side.

This proximity-based grid
interface displays individuals

who have no current legal representation

and no means of acquiring one

in the hottest up and coming areas.

You wanna open an organic
vegan alcoholic popsicle shop?

Well,
let's go ahead and click on granny here

and see if her home would
make an excellent storefront.

I mean, pretty great
intersection, right?

Lots of foot traffic.

I mean, you gotta think
she's tired of the commotion.

You would be doing her such a favor.

And with a database of legal templates,

you will be able to
exercise eminent domain

within hours.

- Wait, is that me up there?
- Guilty.

Oh, this is a hoot.

Oh, that's great.

Where do we sign?

- Don't do that.
- Don't do that.

Don't do what, Bob?

Don't you abandon me,

just because I gave
up everything for you.

- You abandoned me in .
- Oh!

You know what I'm talking about.

I had to take the job to support

our marijuana habit.

Stop!

My darling, darling, darling,

stop, stop, stop.

I'm gonna have to intervene.
Excuse me, excuse me.

Excuse me, she's coming in.

She's coming in. Let it go, let it go.

Let it go, let it go. Deep breaths.

Let it go, let it go,
let it go, let it go.

I know I'm retired.

I am retired,
but I've had a very full career.

I have a lot of
credits. A lot of credits.

Ricky, you stopped yourself.

- Why?
- Oh, I did?

- Mm-hmm.
- Why?

- Um...
- Because of fear.

We all do it.

I'm gonna highlight a little something.

You go sit down. You... go, go.

Let's take it back a few lines.

Don't breathe. Don't blink and go.

- Don't do that.
- Don't do that.

Don't do what, Bob?

Don't you...

You dirty prick.

[CRYING] You dirty f*cking prick!

You dirty f*cking prick!

[MOANING]

Do you see that?

Hey! Did you guys take note of that?

Because that's called
being in the moment.

We can't plan life.

When we surrender, we're the most alive.

Beautiful work. Oh,
Ricky, beautiful work.

Oh, so that's it.
I think this is our last class.

So I'm gonna leave you guys
with a little bit of wisdom.

It doesn't work out.

There are no good roles.

You're only gonna be torn down.

If you can find anything else
to channel your passion into,

do that.

And if it's at all possible,

just die.

Is that a martini?

[MOCKINGLY] Is that a martini?

f*ck off.

- Mm!
- [LAUGHS]

I am nervous.

You're sure this is safe, right?

Mark, every wealthy gay person

has gone with Kiddos. It's aspirational.

The babies here are real
conversation starters.

- Good.
- [DOOR SLIDING OPEN]

Goss-Doober?

- It's us.
- It's us, yeah.

So, what did you have in mind?

Well, I think it's safe to say

we would prefer a boy,

a gay baby boy.

- Or even q*eer.
- A q*eer baby.

And of course we are very open

- to all ethnicities, of course.
- And religions.

But it would be ideal if they
were ' at the shortest

so that they could carry us up

the stairs to bed when
we're very elderly.

And one blue eye

and one brown eye, maybe, like hostile.

But it would also be good

if he can make us feel
protected like a dad.

Like a son that feels like a dad.

If that's anywhere in your checklist.

The gene selection techniques
that SinGen employees

are certainly capable
of being that specific.

However,
for the package that you are describing,

we'd have to go all
the way back to scratch

and I'd have to put you on a waitlist

for five years, at least.

[GROANS]

To be frank, without a child,

we might not be together in five years.

Well, there is something I could offer

that might be of interest.

It's a project called Aspen.

A nine-year-old,
Aspen was our first bio breed,

and he's still in the facility,

but something tells me
you're gonna love him.

- [GASPS]
- Baby, look, he's perfect.

That's him.

And this way we could
skip all the poop years.

- Mm!
- $ , .

- We have that money.
- Wonderful.

Well, then, dads, you
wanna do the honors?

- Okay, okay.
- Ready?

- Yeah.
- Oh, my God, it's happening.

[SQUEALING] [LAUGHTER]

- Oh!
- Oh, my God.

We did it.

Congratulations, Dad.

- Aw.
- I love you, Dad.

[EERIE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

- Mm.
- Mm...

- Mm!
- Oh...

- It's so good.
- I love kissing you.

- Yeah.
- How about you go,

and then I'll hang back for,
like, ten minutes or so,

and then, you know,
I'll go in and I'll act totally normal.

So no one will like think
we're together or anything.

I mean, I think it's fun if

we show up at the same time, right?

- No.
- No, yeah.

- Okay.
- No, no.

'Cause I don't want Elliot

to, like, suspect anything.

Not that there's anything to suspect,
but you know.

- No, yeah.
- I mean, it's... it's not like

we're doing anything that
we have to be ashamed of.

Yeah, I'm not ashamed that it's,
like, come to this.

Yeah, I think it's hot as hell.

- Mm-hmm.
- So happy.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

- Hello.
- Hi.

- Welcome to my new home.
- Oh, wow.

You guys arrived at the same time.

- No, no.
- Just ran into each other

at Le Cordon Bleu coming in.

I told Portia, I was like,

get the hell away from me, you weirdo.

- [LAUGHS]
- This place is amazing.

- Thank you.
- Oh, my God, I love it,

'cause it really has the same character

that our place had.

You know, you gotta see how
I dressed it up without you.

And you, hi.

Hey, where's the kiddo?

I'd love to meet the little guy.

Hello.

- Hi there.
- Hi, I'm Portia.

Hello, Ms. Davenport, Mr. Gardner.

- Ooh.
- Fathers.

- Oh, my gosh.
- That's so cute.

Did you guys tell him to call us that?

I can call you whatever you want.

I want you to be
comfortable in our home.

[LAUGHTER]

- Aww!
- That's very sweet of you.

Thank you.

Why do you two smell like each other?

What?

You smell like her
and she smells like you.

- No, come on.
- You're crazy, little man.

That crazy little guy got...

This is wine from, uh...

it wasn't very expensive.

Ooh, mmm.

Yeah. Mark, this is so elaborate.

Is there a recipe or is it just sort of

like a bunch of ingredients
that you mushed into one?

Ooh, no, it's easy.

You just put potatoes,

bouillon,
and a bunch of water in a crepe pan.

And then you just keep
layering on butter and vinegar

and keep it wet, wet,
wet, wet, wet, wet, wet.

And then you plate it and
then you put it in a blender

and then you re-plate it.

I found it on this account I follow

called BigTimeFoodHacks.

- This is incredible.
- And it's so pretty.

Yeah, it's... and you can

- really taste the food hacks.
- Mm.

So, Portia, any fun
new roles coming out.

Well, I'm... I'm kind of at an age now

when an actress must become a teacher,

sort of pass the baton to
the younger generation.

- So no more acting for me.
- Really?

Well, you didn't tell
me you were teaching.

Yes, I did.

I did tell you that over the
one lunch we had this year.

I did tell you that I'm a teacher.

I love to teach. I love it.

Good.

Drew, what are you doing work-wise?

Oh, yeah, well,
I'm helping launch this company

that could be a huge game changer.

- Wow, fabulous.
- What is it?

Oh, it's just this elite
service that we need,

and it's about high time
that somebody did it, so.

- Cool.
- But what... what is it?

Well, it can make a huge impact.

- Right, but what is it?
- It's good.

Yeah. Good, good.

- So what is it?
- Fill the blank.

- It's good, good, good.
- It is?

Well, it is good for the
world and it's not bad.

It's not bad. It's not
a bad thing, Elliot.

Oh, okay.

[MUFFLED POP MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS]

♪ ♪

Is there onion in this?

You made it, babe.

- Right.
- Sorry.

[LAUGHS] Why does it taste so oniony?

I wouldn't even know
where to get an onion.

- Probably a grocery store.
- [LIQUID PATTERING]

- Oh, no.
- Oh, my God.

- Ew.
- Oh, Aspen, honey, honey.

- He's doing it again.
- He's doing it again.

- Are you urinating?
- Aw, buddy.

Fathers, may Drew go clean me up?

[SIGHS] Drew, would you mind?

- Yes.
- I would mind.

I'm only on this earth once,

and I've been sent to... To spread love.

Please, you have to let me out.

Are you still contending
with strong feelings

that the world may soon end?

[SIGHS]

I believe that, if people
don't awaken soon,

that something very bad
will happen to us, yes.

Apocalyptic paranoia, feelings of doom,

these dispositions have been
around for a very long time.

And we're still here.

You don't see what I see.

I can see the world so clearly now.

I see through the
lies and the illusions.

I have to save everyone from their pain.

Dory, I-I just wanna reflect back to you

what you just said.

You said you believe that
you alone can save the world.

And if we don't let you out,

the apocalypse is approaching.

[SIGHS]

- Where's Dr. Lombardo?
- I'm sorry, Dory,

but based on this
evaluation and your history,

we believe that it's best

for us to keep you under our care

and hold another
evaluation in months.

Quickly, quickly,
before Mark comes back,

put your food in the vase.
I-I do this every night.

- Thank God.
- Thank you.

I wasn't gonna say anything,
but Jesus Christ.

I know, I think his meals are
some kind of eating disorder.

Oh, my God, I'm gonna throw up.

- [GROANS]
- That's good.

- [DOOR SHUTTING]
- Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry.

[LAUGHS] Yeah.

He did not want to
go to sleep, but he did.

You guys, you finished eating
while I was out of the room.

- Yeah.
- You are just like Elliot.

You guys, thank you
so much for having us,

because it was just such a great night.

Love your family.

Aspen is just the
sweetest little baby boy.

- He's fantastic.
- Isn't he so proper?

- Yeah.
- We're all such adults now.

I mean, it seems like just
yesterday we were kids,

you know, young and making mistakes.

Speaking of mistakes,
has anyone visited Dory?

I have...

not because it's just... it's far.

And I'm actually actively
trying not to think about her.

Well, I will say that you
all seem much calmer.

You know, everything
isn't so life or death.

Mark, you're right.

I think we've all finally
turned a new leaf,

and now we can just focus

on what we actually want,
to wall off in comfort.

You know, I'm a wealthy
stay-at-home dad,

and I'm sorry,
but there is nothing wrong with that.

We're adults and adults don't
care about making a difference.

Amen, you guys, here's to not feeling

like we have to change the damn world.

Yes!

ALL: To not changing the damn world.

[GLASSES CLINKING]

[CLOCK TICKING]

[TENSE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[PEOPLE SCREAMING]

[METALLIC ROARING]

♪ ♪

- They're dead!
- They're all dead!

- Oh, my God.
- Run!

Oh, my God!

♪ ♪

[SHRIEKING]

[DARK DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪ ♪