01x10 - B Negative Part 2

[bunniefuu]

Previously on B Positive ...m getting my kidney.

-What?
-No way!

Son of a bitch!

Seriously?

We're going to Iceland?

Well, we can't go just yet,

but we can still
plan for it.

This is weirdly spontaneous
for you.

Did your doctor
give you new dr*gs?[chuckles]

No, Maddie. I'm
just excited.

I mean, Game of Thrones
was filmed there.

We can pretend
we're White Walkers.

"Winter is coming.
King in the North!"

[chuckles]

Jerry's gonna be okay,

but his body rejected
the kidney.

Yes, it is a terrible setback.

But it's how you deal
with setbacks that define you

as a person. You're
not gonna be alone,

because you are stuck

with each and every one of us.

Not only did you

uplift Jerry's spirits

but I kind of ..., come on.

Do you really think
I meant any of that?

What?

Okay.

I marked up the guidebook
with all the highlights,

and I went
to the currency exchange

and got you 10,000 krona.

Whoa![chuckles]: Yeah. Try not
to spend it all in one place.

Although,
it would be pretty easy.

It's only about 60 bucks.

My friends don't
need to know that.

Hey. Okay, I'm here.

I am so sorry. I couldn't
find my passport,

and the Uber was late, but
you know what? Who cares?

Because we are going to
Iceland! Iceland, baby![chuckles]

Woot, woot!
[chuckles]

Mom, we've talked about this.
No "woot, woot."

Okay. Uh, you two
better get going.

You don't want
to miss your flight.

To Iceland.

Woot, woot!
[chuckles]

Hey, I paid for the tickets.
I can do whatever I want.

-Thank you so much for this.
-Of course. Have fun.

Oh, and, uh,
-here's her stuff.
-Oh, right.

-Yeah.
-Thanks. Okay.

Oh, sh**t.

Oh, wait! Ah.

Excuse me, uh, my daughter
forgot her guidebook.

You can't go in
without a boarding pass.

Yeah. I-It'll just
take a second.

Uh, Maddie! Maddie!

I'm sorry, sir.

Okay. Well, can you just
go give this to her?

No, I can't.

And you need
to take a step back.

[grunts]
Well, I...

Okay, this is stupid. I'm
giving her the guidebook.

-Sir! Sir! Security!
-All right? It's not...

Oh, my God!

[groans]

Maddie.

Your guidebook.

♪ The more you give ♪ The more you give♪

♪ The more you live ♪ The more you live♪

♪ Your happiness is relative ♪ Happiness♪

♪ But if you're feeling
like crap ♪

♪ It's time to face the fact

♪ It's your prerogative

♪ Your prerogative♪

♪ To be positive.

GINA:
Drew?
Yeah.

What the hell, dude?
I have been trying to call you.

Well, I got stun-gunned
at the airport,

and it short-circuited
my phone.

Uh, I've been stun-gunned a lot.

That doesn't happen.

Huh. Well, did your testicles

ever sh**t right back up
into your body?

I have been getting
frantic calls

from everyone at dialysis

saying that you
didn't show up.

Oh, come on,
I missed one session.

Besides, maybe the stun g*n
jump-started my kidney

and I'm fine now.
I mean, I did pee a little.

So, you did it?
You really sent them to Iceland?

Yeah. Yeah, I didn't want my kid

waiting for me
to be healthy enough to go

because, you know,
I might never be.

Stop saying that.
You're gonna be

totally fine
after the transplant.

Jerry waited seven years
in dialysis

only to have a kidney
that didn't work.

Well, mine is
super high-quality.

I've been living clean,

eating healthy.
This is, like,

grass-fed, free-range kidney.

You don't get it. I...

You could give me the healthiest
kidney in the world,

and it still might not work.

Don't you listen to him.

[sighs]
It's all I think about.

It affects
every decision I make.

-It-it rules my life.
-Hey,

I am sorry about that, but
you cannot skip dialysis.

It's not optional.

This isn't taxes
or car insurance.

Actually, Gina,

I can do whatever I want.

I've been playing
by the rules my whole life,

and look what
it's gotten me. Huh?

20,000 volts
straight to the ribs

and recovering
in an airport Cinnabon.

Well,

I never play by the rules,

and all it's gotten me
is banned from Costco.

You have this lovely house
and a successful career

and a beautiful daughter.[exhales]
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what?
I-I'm not really in the mood

for your positive,
upbeat cheerleader routine.

What's that supposed to mean?

"I'm Gina. I'm never down.

"I fart rainbows
all over town.

"Ooh!

And one for you."

Believe me,
if I could fart rainbows,

I totally would.

Hey, I'm just trying to
get you out of this funk.

Yeah, well, I like my funk.
I want to be in my funk.

Right now, I'm gonna take
my funk upstairs to bed.

It's 10:00 a.m.

My funk doesn't give a funk.

[wine pouring]

[sighs]
Well, nobody's here.
I told you

we shouldn't have scheduled
this art class

up against Wii bowling.

What we are lacking in quantity,

we're making up in quality.

Oh, very nice, Mrs. Kaplan.

[chuckles]
You gave Norma a thought bubble.

How creative.

"Do you like my cheap wig?"

It's my real hair, Gail.

Want to pull it?

Your husband liked pulling it.

Ladies, ladies!
Uh, let's not give

Mr. Knudsen any ideas.

You texting Drew again?[sighs]
Yeah.

He's in a really
dark place.

I wish I could get him to
-see that he's overreacting.
-Have him come here.

On my floor alone,
we got a blind guy,

a guy with a bad ticker
and a guy with the big "C."

And it's all the same guy.

The point is
we all have

our crap. But do you see us
moaning and whining? No.

We get up every day

and find a way
to face life's challenges.

My way is booze. Fill me up.

I wish I could just
snap him out of it.

Get him a hobby.
Why do you think

they give us
all these activities?

So we forget the angel of death
is lonely and looking.

Maybe it would help if he had
something to distract him.

KNUDSEN:
-Done.
-Oh!

Ooh. Uh...

Mm, we talked about this,
Mr. Knudsen. [chuckles]

Am I naked again?

Yep.

Nice rack.

Hello?

Mm. Hey. You know,
your beer's

actually pretty good.

At first, it kind of tastes like
the scummy water

at the bottom of a garbage bag,

but after a few,
it is Rocky Mountain smooth.

There you go. Oh.

-What are you doing?
-Clink.

Cannoli! No, no,
-no, no, no, no, no.
-Oh, what, what, what, what?

-Okay.
-I don't want to drink alone.

All right. Uh,
enough of this.

This isn't you.

You do not sit in the dark
and drink.

That's my mom.

You know what?
If you really want to help me,

you can give me something
that will make me forget

everything that's going on.

Mm, like what?

Like, uh...

D-R-U-G-Z.

dr*gs.

I thought
this was a drug-free house.

Or, at least,
that's what the sign

-you put up in my room says.
-Yeah, well,

I don't see that sign
around here.

So come on.
I know you got something.

I mean, anything psychedelic?

Give me what the Beatles took.

I don't have anything like that.

Let's watch a movie.[sighs]

Come on. Gina.

I'm trying to party.

I want to get lit.

Okay, fine.

Yes! That's what
I'm talking about.

All right.
First one's free.

[chuckles]:
Sorry. Force of habit.

Here we go. Gonna
be trippin'.

[chuckles]
Ooh.

Um, can I take this
on an empty stomach?

I didn't have
lunch earlier.

-It's fine.
-Okay.

Also, I had

a Nexium. Is that
-gonna be a lethal mix?
-Take the pill.

Okay. Uh, don't let
me stare at the sun.

-Take the damn pill!
-Got it. Here we go.

Ob-la-di, ob-la-da.

♪ Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants

♪ Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants

♪ If nautical nonsense
be something... ♪

Whoa. Wait, wait. Stop.
Wait, hold on. Stop it.

Okay.[TV turns off]

I just realized:

he's absorbent
because he's a sponge.

What about his name?

Sponge...

[chuckles]:
Oh, my God. Yes!

Oh, you sneaky,
yellow son of a bitch.

[laughs]

I need water.

No, I need all the water.

Oh. Oh, oh, oh!

No, no, no, no, no, no.
Don't worry.

-I will get you some.
-Oh. Yes, yes.

Why am I so thirsty? I mean,

we live in a pineapple
under the sea.

You know,

this reminds me of this time

when I was tripping on mushrooms
at a Mexican restaurant.

[chuckles]
I went to the bathroom,

but it turns out that it was
the synagogue next door.

And the next thing I know,

I'm dancing
with the bar mitzvah boy

and wondering
where the hell my tacos are.

Hava nagila, señor.

Drew?

Drew!

Drew?!

[gasps]

Oh, boy.

[grunts]

♪ Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? ♪

♪ SpongeBo...

Oh, wow.

Look who it is.

What are you doing out here
so late, young man?

Oh, wow.

That's a hell of a beard
for such a small child.

Let's go find your parents.

I understand
you wait 24 hours

before looking
for a missing person,

but my friend is
in renal failure

and he could die.

Okay. Thank you.

[scoffs]

They said they'll send a cop in,
like, three hours.

Three hours?
This isn't a Black neighborhood.

I can't believe it's gonna take
that long for the cops to come

when a man could be dying.

I set up

one vodka lemonade stand,

and they're like,
"Where is your liquor license?"

Don't worry.
We're gonna find him.

-I've seen this before.
-Seriously?

People go through so much
to get that donor,

they don't even think
about the possibility

of the transplant not working.

So when they
see that happen,

it can really mess them up.

[knocking]

-Is he back yet?
-Nope.

Was that...

Aw.

My bad.

I really appreciate
you guys coming over to help me.

I've seen him run.

He can't be too far.

Where should we start looking?

Uh, probably where I found
his cardigan.

We can start there and then
each take a different direction.

Are we sure
-that's his?
-The pocket

had his ChapStick
and his backup ChapStick,

so... yeah.

[pants]

[groans]

I can't go on any farther.

Or is it "further"?

You're not one of those
grammar gnomes, are you, Doug?

[groans]

I don't feel so good.

All right.

Here. You should go.

Go on.

Well, go on! Get out of here!
I said go!

[groans]

[panting]

God...

what are you doing to me?

Are you just...
toying with me?

Because this isn't a game
I want to play.

Don't give me hope, only to take
it away like you did with Jerry.

If you're gonna take me,

just do it.

Strike me down already.

WOMAN:
Can you read?

It says "Please do not
disturb occupants."

God?

Candy Jane Carter,

number one realtor
in Fairfield County.

And, sweetie,
you're k*lling my curb appeal.

Oh, great. My sign from God
is literally a sign.

Very creative.

Oh, stop whining.

[New York accent]:
Hey, Candy Jane. Shut it!

Uh...

I'm allowed to whine.

I have to spend
the rest of my life

chained to a dialysis machine.

Oh, you think you're
the only one who's got it tough?

Try selling
this overpriced piece of crap.

But here I am,

still trying.

Well, I'm sick of trying.

I just want to live or die
on my own terms.

Blah, blah, blah.
You're just being a coward.

Excuse me?

Ooh, throw me at her.

Pointy hat first.

Take it easy, Doug.

You act like you're making
a big stand,

when, really,
you're just giving up.

You have a lot to live for.

Show some gratitude,
you big baby.

You look nice in your picture,

but you are not nice.

Nice doesn't sell houses, bucko.

Bite my ass.

Douglas. Language.

[sighs]

What if my transplant
doesn't work?

It might not.

There's no guarantees.

Now stop feeling sorry
for yourself,

slap on some ChapStick

and appreciate what you've got.

[exhales]
Yeah.

[inhales]

My ChapStick.

My backup ChapStick.

Oh, the wheels
are off the cart now, baby.

What are you still
doing here, Doug?

I said get out of here! Scram!

[exhales]
I'm sorry, Doug.

I can't stay mad at you.

[exhales]
Just lay here, Doug.

Just lay here.

Drew!

Drew?!

[groans]

Why can't we find him?

This should be easy.
He dresses like Waldo.

Kind of looks like him, too.

Don't worry.
We're gonna find him.

Yeah?

You know, before I
started dialysis,

one of my teammates had agreed
to give me his kidney.

The night before the
surgery, he got cold feet.

That is awful.

Why did he bail?

Said he couldn't risk
his own football career.

And, hey, I get it.

But it really messed me up.

I'm so sorry.

I wanted to give up, but...

my mom and my brother,

they wouldn't let me.

They kept calling, texting

and knocking on my door.

And, hey,

that's what we're gonna do
for Drew.

You're a really good friend.

Drew's lucky he has you.

He'd do the same for me.

But, hey, if he is dead,
what better way to honor him

than giving me your kidney?

[laughs]

Only if you give me
that sweatsuit in my size.

Wait.

Is that...

Drew!

-Drew! Hey!
-Drew.

-Hey. Get up.
-Drew.

Get up. Drew!
Oh, my God.

[groans softly]

Where am I?

In the hospital.

How you feeling, buddy?

[exhales]
How'd I get here?

We found you passed out
on somebody's lawn.

There's security footage of you

attempting to breastfeed
a garden gnome.

[groans]
I was hallucinating.

I mean, that drug was intense.

What was it?

It was... Tylenol.

What?

In my defense,

I'm sure the Beatles
took that, too.

I wasn't gonna give you
real dr*gs.

Well, then why was I all
confused and hallucinating?

Those are symptoms
of uremia.

Which happens
when you skip dialysis.

Which happens when you
don't listen to Gideon.

I know you're upset
about Jerry,

but what you did was
a dumb-ass move.

Jerry hit us all pretty hard.

I mean, none of us breastfed
a garden gnome,

but everybody
processes differently.

Come on.

Drew's got to
get some rest.

We'll see you soon.

All right, buddy.

Hey, before we go, we should
run upstairs and see Jerry.

Ooh. Good idea.
'Cause I am not coming back

-and paying for parking again.
-Oh, next time

I almost die, I'll find
a hospital that validates.

[takes deep breath]

You doing all right?

Yeah.

Tired but okay.

You keep going
to your dialysis.

I know.

I won't make that mistake again.

I will keep fighting
-the good fight.
-Good.

'Cause...

-I'm not giving up on you.
-Mm.

You just want to stay
at my house rent-free.

I got your rent
right here, buddy.

[chuckles softly]

Um...

I have a really important
question.

[exhales]

Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea?

SpongeBob SquarePants.

Never forget that.

[chuckles softly]

And this is Maddie and her mom
swimming in the Blue Lagoon.

Whoa, that's your ex?

Respect, man.

She is really cute.

Did you have money at one point?

Okay. You know what?

Some people would say
she was lucky to have me.

Okay,

no one has yet, but that
doesn't mean it's not true.

The point is, my daughter
is having a great time.

And, one day,

she and I will travel together.

Look who's planning for
the future. Good for you.

And while you two are gone,
if your ex needs company...

The less you know the better.

Hello!

-Jerry!
-There he is!

I didn't think
you'd need a cane.

Oh, I don't.

Uh, chicks dig
the distinguished look.

[groaning]

Don't.

Just let him have this.

[groaning continues]

Yes.
[stammers]

Very sexy.

Is it tough being back?

Yeah.

But at least I get to go
through it with you guys.

Aw. Well, that is
surprisingly positive.

Maybe he's hopped-up on Tylenol.

[laughter]

Yeah. Sorry I
missed all that.

I heard you had
quite the evening.

SAMANTHA:
Glad you said that, Jerry.

We didn't want
you to miss out

on all the fun,

so we got you a little
welcome back present.

What-- Uh, what's happening?

We got video footage
of your little night out

from your neighbor's
security cam.

And we cut together
a highlights reel

featuring "Walking on Sunshine"

by Katrina and the Waves.[laughing]

["Walking on Sunshine" playing]

♪ Yeah...

♪ I'm walking on sunshine

♪ Whoa

♪ I'm walking on sunshine

♪ Whoa

♪ I'm walking on sunshine

♪ Whoa

♪ And don't it feel good?

♪ Hey, all right now

♪ And don't it feel good?

♪ I say it, I say it,
I say it again ♪

♪ And don't it feel good? [laughing]

Thank you for giving me
a reason to live.

[laughter]