BY: TERENCE DUDLEY
Part One
First Air Date: 15 March 1983
Running time: 24:48
JOHN: Enough!
JOHN: This is a poor welcome, my lord.
RANULF: But sire
JOHN: Hear us. We have come to ask but a pittance. Three marks per knight's fee. You obstruct the Crusade, my lord, with your parsimony.
RANULF: But your Majesty already has my whole fortune willingly given but six month's since. There is no more. My coffers are empty.
JOHN: Your words are more generous than your purse, Lord Ranulf. If you speak truth, if we have your whole fortune, you insult us.
GILLES: You insult the King.
RANULF: Your Majesty, I
GILLES: You insult the King.
GILLES: Are you so craven?
HUGH: My father is of ill-health, Sir Gilles.
ISABELLA: Hugh!
HUGH: I pick up your gage.
RANULF: I beg your Majesty. Take my lands, my goods, my chattels, even the robes I stand in, but spare me my surviving son.
HUGH: Father, do not dishonour me.
RANULF: My son, your Majesty.
JOHN: We shall see, my lord, if your fealty is as slender as your fortune. Your son shall meet our champion on the morrow. We shall retire and dream sweet dreams. We bid you goodnight.
RANULF: Goodnight, sire.
SOLDIER: Make way for the King.
JOHN: Ah, friends, friends, calm yourselves. There's no cause for alarm.
TURLOUGH: Planet Earth.
DOCTOR: So it seems.
TURLOUGH: You didn't set the coordinates for here by any chance?
DOCTOR: No.
TEGAN: When is it?
DOCTOR: March the fourth, 1215.
TEGAN: Is it England?
DOCTOR: Yes, it is.
TEGAN: Could this be a Black Guardian trap?
DOCTOR: I don't think so, but something certainly isn't right.
TEGAN: You're not going out there?
DOCTOR: Just for a moment.
TEGAN: That man looks distinctly unfriendly.
DOCTOR: So he does.
GILLES: My liege, I have no need of aid from Lucifer.
DOCTOR: Lucifer?
TEGAN: Is that the King?
DOCTOR: Without a doubt.
JOHN: Damn you cringing caitiffs. We tell you there's naught to fear. Do our demons come to visit us? Bid them attend us.
DOCTOR: Demons? Very odd indeed.
TEGAN: Makes a nice change for you not to take everything in your stride, I must say.
DOCTOR: Must you?
TEGAN: Too right.
DOCTOR: He even seems pleased to see us. A king welcoming demons.
TEGAN: Which king?
DOCTOR: Oh, Tegan. 1215? King John, of course.
TEGAN: The one who lost something in the Wash?
DOCTOR: Well, you could put it like that. This particular shirt turned out to be the Crown Jewels, but that's next year. We're still three months away from Magna Carta.
JOHN: Welcome, our demons. Name yourselves. Can this be Lilith?
DOCTOR: Her name is Tegan, your Majesty. This is Turlough, and I am the Doctor. We are not demons.
JOHN: You're too modest, Lord Doctor. Come, rejoice with us in a trial by combat. Come, make way for our demons. Let them be seated by us.
RANULF: Sire!
DOCTOR: Your Majesty, if I may make so bold.
JOHN: Hold! Lord Doctor?
DOCTOR: If this is trial by combat, your Majesty, there's clearly a victor and a vanquished. Must blood be shed?
JOHN: We take your counsel, O demon. Spare him.
HUGH: Come, sir, despatch.
HUGH: I am dishonoured.
DOCTOR: You are alive, my friend.
HUGH: No friend to you.
RANULF: Heed him not, whoever you are. I am grateful. You are welcome at Fitzwilliam Castle.
DOCTOR: Thank you.
RANULF: Soon we shall sit at meat. Betimes you may wish to withdraw. Conduct my guests to their chamber.
TEGAN: How can they live in such cold?
DOCTOR: By eating lots of food.
DOCTOR: Thank you. Where's Turlough?
TEGAN: He stopped to look at something. Look at the size of that bed!
DOCTOR: Hmm. Another way of keeping warm.
TEGAN: What are we doing here, anyway?
DOCTOR: We were invited for a meal.
TEGAN: You know what I mean.
DOCTOR: Here, put this around you.
TEGAN: How long are you planning to stay?
DOCTOR: Do you know, it's just sunk in. March the fourth, 1215.
TEGAN: So?
DOCTOR: There's something very wrong here.
HUGH: Stand, demon.
DOCTOR: The King takes the oath today.
TEGAN: What oath?
DOCTOR: To take the cross as a Crusader. But he did that in London.
TEGAN: Who says?
DOCTOR: Your history books.
TEGAN: Perhaps they got that bit wrong.
DOCTOR: No, no, too well documented.
TEGAN: Oh, who cares?
DOCTOR: I care.
TEGAN: All I care about is getting back to the TARDIS, where it's nice and warm. No wonder they forced him to sign Magna Carta. Bet there was something in it about underheated housing.
DOCTOR: He wasn't.
TEGAN: Wasn't what?
DOCTOR: Forced into signing Magna Carta. He was as much for it as anyone.
TEGAN: Now look, Doctor, I know my history.
DOCTOR: Do you?
HUGH: I would know who or what you are.
TURLOUGH: I've told you. I'm Turlough.
HUGH: Take him.
ISABELLA: He is proud, my Lord. He will never forgive you.
RANULF: And you?
ISABELLA: With all my heart. But he is your son. He is as proud as you.
RANULF: Time heals. But at the present, my concern is for the King. Why is he so changed? And who are these beings he calls demons?
GILLES: My Lord.
RANULF: What now?
GILLES: I must ask the Lady Isabella to accompany me.
RANULF: To what end?
GILLES: Your lady is to be held in custody.
RANULF: What!
GILLES: To be held in custody against your continued good behaviour toward our sovereign lord, the Kind.
RANULF: On whose authority.
GILLES: Of that of the King.
RANULF: The King is a guest in my house. He would not use me thus.
GILLES: He would and does, my Lord.
RANULF: We shall see.
GILLES: Be not rash, my Lord. The King is resting. He sends word to not preserve pitchers. A new cider will be provided when he dines.
RANULF: You dare to
ISABELLA: Be not provoked, my Lord. The King shall lack no comfort while within these walls.
GILLES: My Lady.
HUGH: Speak.
TURLOUGH: I've nothing to hide. I'll tell you anything you want to know.
HUGH: But you speak nothing but madness.
TURLOUGH: I've told you who I am and where I come from. What more do you want?
HUGH: Are you the King's man like my father?
TURLOUGH: I am nobody's man.
HUGH: Then what do you here?
TURLOUGH: I came with the Doctor.
HUGH: And what is this Doctor's purpose?
TURLOUGH: I don't know.
HUGH: Well, perhaps I can loosen your tongue.
TURLOUGH: There really is no need for any of this.
HUGH: Fill her!
HUGH: Hold.
HUGH: Mother!
GILLES: Seize them!
GILLES: Twice in one day. It is most embarrassing.
HUGH: You'd best k*ll me now, for if you do not, I will most assuredly k*ll you.
GILLES: Why is youth given to such extravagance?
GILLES: It appears, my Lady, you will not be without companionship. Secure them! And then we will examine this demon's blue engine.
TEGAN: Are you saying King John was a good man?
DOCTOR: Well, given the times he lives in, yes. But don't take my word for it. You'll be able to judge for yourself. Nobody forced Magna Carta from him. He could have crushed that rebellion as easily as that.
RANULF: What have you demons made of the King? He is bewitched. First he takes my whole fortune, and now he has made my lady a hostage. How can he question my loyalty? There is none more loyal than I.
DOCTOR: We are not demons and we've done no harm to the King, or to anyone. Nor do we intend any.
RANULF: Whence come you?
DOCTOR: From an outer province.
RANULF: And this strange attire?
DOCTOR: Yes, well. Please believe that we are friends. If you're in trouble, I would like to help if I can.
RANULF: Leave us, and fetch warm vestments.
RANULF: You were three.
DOCTOR: Yes, yes, we seem to have mislaid Turlough. How long has the King been here?
RANULF: Since yesterday. He is not himself. He's not as I know him.
DOCTOR: Well, could he be ill?
RANULF: In rude health. He rode from London yesterday, and then to a stag hunt to bring down the only k*ll.
DOCTOR: This Sir Gilles.
RANULF: I like not this man.
DOCTOR: Well, I can't say I care for him much myself. A French knight. Is he the only Frenchman with the King?
RANULF: I know not. He has never favoured Frenchmen before this, even renegades from the King of France.
DOCTOR: Could Sir Gilles be bringing some pressure, some influence on the King?
RANULF: The King is influenced by none. The King I know is resolute and firm of purpose.
DOCTOR: When does he return to London?
RANULF: I know not, and no word from the city. My cousin was summoned there by the King a week since, and he's not returned. Why? And why no word concerning him?
DOCTOR: Your cousin was summoned to London?
RANULF: Aye, to take the Crusader's oath.
DOCTOR: Today, March the fourth.
RANULF: What say you, my Lord Doctor?
DOCTOR: What if your guest was not the King?
RANULF: Not the King? Then who?
DOCTOR: An imposter.
RANULF: I have known and served my sovereign lord for many years. No imposter could be so like.
DOCTOR: Be vigilant, my Lord. I suspect things are not what they seem.
RANULF: You are a sorcerer.
DOCTOR: No, no, and I ask you to trust me, please.
TEGAN: You can trust us.
RANULF: You will join my household at meat.
DOCTOR: Thank you, we would be delighted.
RANULF: When it pleases you.
DOCTOR: Warmer?
TEGAN: Yes. Shouldn't we find out what's happened to Turlough?
DOCTOR: We will.
TEGAN: I don't feel safe here.
DOCTOR: A while longer, then we'll go.
GILLES: Name yourself, Sir Knight.
GEOFFREY: Geoffrey de Lacy, cousin to Ranulf Fitzwilliam. And your name?
GILLES: Gilles Estram, King's Champion.
GEOFFREY: Why then are you not with the King?
GILLES: I am.
GEOFFREY: How can that be, since the King is in London?
GILLES: Non, the King is here.
GEOFFREY: Borne on eagle's wings? I left the King in the Tower this morning.
GILLES: You lie! Take him.
JOHN: Our demons, welcome.
JOHN: Come join us.
DOCTOR: (quietly) Trust me.
TEGAN: (quietly) What about Turlough?
DOCTOR: (quietly) Stop fussing.
ISABELLA: Can you not help us?
TURLOUGH: I wish I could.
HUGH: Can you not call on Hell?
TURLOUGH: I could, but then so could you, with a better chance of success, I fancy.
TURLOUGH: I do hope they've found a better use for it.
ISABELLA: A better use?
DOCTOR: If he's not the King, who is he and why?
TEGAN: Do you seriously expect me to answer that?
DOCTOR: Why didn't he react like everybody else? Why wasn't he scared? And why are we his demons?
TEGAN: Could he be the Devil? I only said could.
JOHN: The lutes. Let us have the lutes.
JOHN: We sing in praise of total w*r, against the Saracen we abhor. To free the tomb of Christ our lord, we'll put the known world to the sword. There is no glory greater than to serve with gold the Son of Man. No riches here on Earth shall see, no scutage in eternity.
GILLES: And now, sire, for some additional entertainment.
JOHN: Bravo, our champion. And who is to delight in her embrace?
RANULF: Geoffrey! Sire, this is my cousin Geoffrey de Lacy, a loyal knight. You summoned him to London but a week since to take the Crusader's oath.
JOHN: So we did, indeed we did. And he has seen fit to disobey that summons.
GEOFFREY: Not so. I left your Majesty in London four hours since. You must remember.
JOHN: Must?
GILLES: You lie. The King has been here since yesterday. Now let the maiden reward such mendacity. Prepare her.
RANULF: Sire, be merciful, I beg you.
GILLES: Your cousin is guilty of lèse majesté, my Lord.
DOCTOR: Your Majesty.
JOHN: What? Our demon, you too would beg for mercy.
DOCTOR: Oh, indeed no, sire, but surely such a fate is too mild. Would not boiling in oil be a more fitting end?
JOHN: Ha! It must be a decade, our champion, since we boiled in oil. We accept your counsel, O demon.
DOCTOR: I thank your Majesty, but I was not suggesting alternative retribution. My interruption was provoked by shock.
JOHN: Shock?
DOCTOR: Yes, I was quite shocked at Sir Gilles' monstrous lack of good taste.
GILLES: Who dares to question my good taste?
DOCTOR: In my view, it is the worst possible taste to even think about following the King's quite remarkable performance. One just can't follow that.
GILLES: I am insulted!
TEGAN: Are you mad?
RANULF: He is said to be the best swordsman in France.
DOCTOR: Fortunately, we are in England. May I?
DOCTOR: Thank you. I hope I don't disgrace it. In case of accidents
TEGAN: Doctor, don't do it.
DOCTOR: In case of accidents, find Turlough.
JOHN: Well, our Champion and our demon. Have a care, Sir Gilles. Has our demon mortal life to lose?
GILLES: I fear no hellhound.
JOHN: Then set to.
JOHN: Bravo, our demon.
DOCTOR: You escaped from Xeriphas.
MASTER: Oh, my dear Doctor, you have been naive.
`
The Doctor
Peter Davison
Tegan Jovanka
Janet Fielding
Turlough
Mark Strickson
The Master
Anthony Ainley
The King / Voice of Kamelion
Gerald Flood
Ranulf
Frank Windsor
Isabella
Isla Blair
Hugh
Christopher Villiers
Sir Geoffrey
Michael J. Jackson
Jester
Peter Burroughs
Assistant Floor Manager
Sue Hedden
Costumes
Colin Lavers
Designer
Ken Ledsham
Fight Arranger
John Waller
Film Cameraman
Remi Adefarasin
Film Editor
Mike Rowbotham
Incidental Music
Jonathan Gibs
Peter Howell
Lute Player
Jacob Lindberg
Make-Up
Elizabeth Rowell
Frances Hannon
Producer
John Nathan-Turner
Production Assistant
Sue Upton
Production Associate
June Collins
Script Editor
Eric Saward
Special Sounds
d*ck Mills
Studio Lighting
Peter Smee
Studio Sound
Martin Ridout
Theme Arrangement
Peter Howell
Title Music
Ron Grainer
Visual Effects
Tony Harding
Peter Davison
Tegan Jovanka
Janet Fielding
Turlough
Mark Strickson
The Master
Anthony Ainley
The King / Voice of Kamelion
Gerald Flood
Ranulf
Frank Windsor
Isabella
Isla Blair
Hugh
Christopher Villiers
Sir Geoffrey
Michael J. Jackson
Jester
Peter Burroughs
Assistant Floor Manager
Sue Hedden
Costumes
Colin Lavers
Designer
Ken Ledsham
Fight Arranger
John Waller
Film Cameraman
Remi Adefarasin
Film Editor
Mike Rowbotham
Incidental Music
Jonathan Gibs
Peter Howell
Lute Player
Jacob Lindberg
Make-Up
Elizabeth Rowell
Frances Hannon
Producer
John Nathan-Turner
Production Assistant
Sue Upton
Production Associate
June Collins
Script Editor
Eric Saward
Special Sounds
d*ck Mills
Studio Lighting
Peter Smee
Studio Sound
Martin Ridout
Theme Arrangement
Peter Howell
Title Music
Ron Grainer
Visual Effects
Tony Harding