01x01 - Help Wanted/Reef Blower/Tea at the Treedome

Episode transcripts for the TV show "SpongeBob SquarePants". Aired: May 1, 1999 - present.*
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A square yellow sponge named SpongeBob SquarePants lives in a pineapple with his pet snail, Gary, in the city of Bikini Bottom on the floor of the Pacific Ocean.
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01x01 - Help Wanted/Reef Blower/Tea at the Treedome

Post by bunniefuu »

"HELP WANTED"

Ah, the sea.

So fascinating, so wonderful.

Here, we see Bikini Bottom teeming with life, home of one of my favorite creatures, SpongeBob SquarePants.

Yes, of course he lives in a pineapple, you silly.

Today's the big day, Gary.

Look at me, I'm naked!

Got to be in top physical condition for today, Gary.

I'm ready!

I'm ready.

I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready!

I'm ready! I'm ready!

I'm ready...

Go, SpongeBob.

Whoa!

There it is... the finest eating establishment ever established for eating.

The Krusty Krab... home of the Krabby Patty... with a "help wanted" sign in the window.

For years I've been dreaming of this moment.

I'm going to go in there, march straight to the manager, look him straight in the eye, lay it on the line... and I can't do this.

Patrick!

Where do you think you're going?

I was just...

No, you're not.

You're going to the Krusty Krab and get that job!

I can't, don't you see?

I'm not good enough.

Whose first words were "May I take your order"?

Mine were.

Who made a spatula out of toothpicks in wood shop?

I did.

Who's the...?

Who's...

Who's a big yellow cube with holes?

I am!

Who's ready?

I'm ready!

Who's ready? I'm ready!

Who's ready?

I'm ready!

I'm ready, I'm ready! I'm ready...

I'm ready, I'm ready... I'm ready!

Oh, no.

SpongeBob. I'm ready, I'm ready...

I'm ready! What could he possibly want?

Go, SpongeBob. Go, SpongeBob.

Go, SpongeBob.

Go self!

Aah! Mr. Krabs!

Hurry, Mr. Krabs. Before it's too late.

I got to tell you...

Permission to come aboard, Captain?

I've been training my whole life for the day I could join the Krusty crew.

And now I'm ready.

Whoa!

So, uh, when do I start?

Well, lad, it looks like you don't even have your sea legs.

Mr. Krabs, please.

I'll prove I'm fry cook material.

Ask Squidward.

He'll vouch for me.

No.

Well, lad, we'll give you a test, and if you pass, you'll be on the Krusty crew.

Go out and fetch me, uh... a... hydrodynamic spatula... with um... port and starboard attachments, and uh, a turbo drive.

And don't come back till you get one.

Aye, aye, Captain.

One hydrodynamic spatula with port and starboard attachments, turbo drive, coming right up, sir.

Carry on.

We'll never see that lubber again.

You're terrible. A hydro what?!

Hey! Hey! Please!

Passengers are to remain seated and do not put their hands out the window.

That sounded like hatch doors.

Do you smell it?

That smell.

A kind of smelly smell... a smelly smell that smells... smelly.

Anchovies.

What?

Anchovies!

Eat, eat, eat, eat, eat...

Eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat... eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat...

Please, please... quiet.

Is this any way to behave? Hmm?

Eat.

Can we show a little decency and form a neat, single-file line in front of the register?

Eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat...

♪ Barg'n-Mart ♪

♪ Meeting all your spatula needs ♪ Eat, eat, eat...

All hands on deck!

Get your anchors out of your pants!

One single-file line is all I ask!

Whoa!


Batten down the hatches, Mr. Squidward.

We're taking on water, Mr. Squidward!

I want my mommy, Mr. Squidward!

♪ Do, do, do-do-do ♪

♪ Spat-u-la, spat-u-la ♪

♪ Port and starboard attachments... ♪ Help! Eat, eat, eat, eat...

Man overboard!

Eat, eat, eat, eat...

Climb, Mr. Squidward.

Climb!

Eat, eat, eat, eat...

Eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat...

This is the end.

Good-bye, Mr. Squidward.

Oh, Mr. Krabs.

Permission to come aboard, Captain?

Did someone order a spatula?

That's right.

One hydrodynamic spatula with port and starboard attachments, and let's not forget the turbo drive.

Would you believe they only had one in stock?

To the kitchen!

Who's hungry?!

Eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat...

♪ Things that bother you never bother me ♪

♪ I feel happy as pie, ha-ha! ♪

♪ Living in the sunlight, loving in the moonlight ♪

♪ Having a wonderful time ♪

♪ Haven't got a lot, I don't need a lot ♪

♪ Coffee's only a dime ♪

♪ Living in the sunlight, loving in the moonlight ♪

♪ Having a wonderful time ♪

♪ Just take it from me ♪

♪ I'm just as free as any daughter ♪

♪ I do what I like, just when I like ♪

♪ And how I love it ♪

♪ I'm right here to stay, when I'm old and gray ♪

♪ I'll be right in my prime ♪

♪ Living in the sunlight, loving in the moonlight ♪

♪ Having a wonderful time ♪

♪ Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

♪ Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo, doo-doo doo-doo, doo-doo-doo ♪

♪ Doo-doo-doo... ♪

That was the finest fast foodsmanship I've ever seen, Mr. SquarePants.

Welcome aboard.

But, but, Mr. Krabs...

Three cheers for SpongeBob! Hip, hip!

Hooray. Uh, Mr. Krabs...

Hip, hip! Hooray.

Hip, hip!

Hooray. Mr. Krabs...

I'll be in my quarters counting up the booty.

Good morning, Krusty crew.

What would you like to order, Patrick?

One Krabby Patty, please.

What?

Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs, come see your new employee!

♪ ...having a wonderful time! ♪
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