04x17 - Just Desserts

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Phineas and Ferb". Aired: August 2007 to November 2015.
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Stepbrothers adventures during their summer vacation.
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04x17 - Just Desserts

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ There's days of summer vacation ♪

♪ and school comes
along just to end it ♪

♪ So the annual problem
for our generation ♪

♪ is finding a good way to spend it ♪

♪ Like maybe ♪

♪ Building a rocket,
or fighting a mummy ♪

♪ or climbing up the Eiffel Tower ♪

♪ Discovering something that doesn't exist ♪

♪ Or giving a monkey a shower ♪

♪ Surfing tidal waves ♪

♪ Creating nano-bots or locating Frankenstein's brain ♪
It's over here!

♪ Finding a dodo bird
Painting a continent ♪

♪ Or driving our sister insane ♪

♪ As you can see, there's
a whole lot of stuff to do ♪

♪ before school starts this fall ♪
Come on, Perry.

♪ So stick with us, 'cause
Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all! ♪

♪ So stick with us, 'cause Phineas
and Ferb are gonna do it all! ♪


Phineas and Ferb are
making a Halloween special!

Hello, children. Welcome
to the Macabre Book Mobile.

What is your pleasure tonight?

How about a fright?
Well, you are in luck,

because I have three stories that are

guaranteed to make you
scream with delight!

Stop it! Enough with
the feather, Renfield.

We talked about this.
Now knock it off and

go and stand over
there by the chifforobe.

And stay out of those olives.

I'm saving them for company.

Uh, excuse me.

Can I get a free-range
organic grilled cheese slider?

This isn't a food truck, you baboon!
It's a Macabre Book Mobile.

Yeah, I'm totally
giving you a bad review.

May the ancient moths of Sumeria
feast upon your skinny jeans!

One star?
Man, that burns.

Now where was I?
Ah, yes!

The first story in our Terrifying
Tri-State Trilogy of Terror!

For crying out loud.

Sorry about that. Now where were we?

"Chapter one: A teenage girl chats

idly to her friend on the phone,

alone in her room, as
a storm rages outside."

Little does she know what evil awaits

her as she discovers how
dangerous careless words can be.

No, Stacy, I have the
whole place to myself.

Mom and Dad are at the movies,

and the boys are playing
ping-pong over at Buford's.

Oh, so listen to this weird
book I've been reading.

"If one repeats this incantation
in the presence of a doll,

then alive it shall be!"
But check this out.

"The light of a full
moon will make it evil!"

Oh, I'm so totally doing it.

Oh, relax, Stacy! It's funny!

I will you alive, Ducky Momo!

Candace, this is Ducky Momo.

You must buy more of my memorabilia,

like my fiftieth anniversary
collector's item bobble head.

But, you know, I'm really
concerned about its resale value.

Help! Help!

Sorry, okay?
Just having a little fun.

So, what's up? Ha!

You know, I just used
this new exfoliating

and moisturizing scrub in the bath,
which is totally confusing,

because why exfoliate off all
the cells you just moisturized?


Hold on, Stacy.

I thought I heard a sound
coming from under the bed.

Cheese and crackers!

And we don't even have a cat.

How did you get underneath there?

Oh, it's nothing. Ducky Momo
must have fallen under my bed.

Now, stay put.

Okay, so let me tell you
about my day with Jeremy.

So he picks me up, and the same song

I was playing in my room was
the same song playing in his car!

The same song! I mean, what
are the chances of that?

And then he says, "You wanna get
grilled cheeses at that place?"

And I was just thinking
I wanted grilled cheese!

Me? I'm just making a snack.

Oh, I just thought I'd have,
you know, something healthy.

What? Oh, okay, you caught me.

Donuts and cheesy popcorn.

Yeah, Jeremy was so great.
He took us out for mani-pedis.

Is someone there?

Oh, the storm just blew the door open.

Yeah, I know. Creepy!

Anyway, since Jeremy's Mom is
a regular at the mani-pedi place,

we got special treatment.

Yeah, they served us sparkling
apple juice and finger sandwiches

and made fun of us in Thai.
It was all so classy.

What can I say?
I love a well-groomed foot.

♪ You thought you were alone ♪

♪ but then you hear a floorboard creak ♪

♪ And from the shadows you see two
crazy eyes and a little orange beak ♪

♪ Then you hear a noise that
makes your heart skip a b*at ♪

♪ It's the creepy pitter-patter
of his little webbed feet ♪

♪ You say,
no, no, no, no, Momo ♪

♪ Might as well say hello
you can sense that he's near ♪

♪ Now you know why yellow
is the color of fear ♪

♪ You say,
no, no, no, no, Momo ♪

♪ Ducky Momo, Ducky Momo ♪

♪ You say,
no, no, no, no, Momo ♪

♪ Ducky Momo, Ducky Momo ♪

Is someone there?

Stacy, I know you're
gonna think this is crazy,

but I honestly think something
is in the room with me.

Have you ever been in a situation

where your whole body,
like, senses a presence?

Like, you can't see it, but it's,
like, it's, like, right next to you?

Upstairs! The only logical escape!

Stacy, you got to help me.
The spell from that weird book worked!

Ducky Momo is alive,
and he's trying to get me!

No, he's downstairs, he...
Would you stop laughing?

Yes you are! I can hear the
milk sh**ting out of your nose.

My phone!

Back! Stay back! Ah!

Stay away from me!
You stay away!

I'm serious!
Uh... Oh, come on!

No, he's unstoppable!

Come on, open!
Open, open!

Oh, yeah, it's an innie.

Keep it together, Candace!

Think. Think, think, think.

Block the door. Block the door!

I didn't really mean
to wish you to life!

I was just goofing around!

I don't understand!
What do you want?

It almost looks like you want a...

a hug.

Seriously? You just want a hug?
Well, okay.

But I don't get it. If the
incantation made you alive,

then the moonlight
should've made you evil.

What? What?

Oh, the moon was behind the
clouds, so you're not evil!

But now Mr. Miggins is!

Ah, you have returned for more.
Our second story starts

upon a dark and stormy night,

where a platypus will soon
show an evil scientist

that every wish has
a twist and the wisher

might not wish for
what he wished.


Doggone it! You...
You should know better

than to sneak up on a guy like that,

especially on a dark and stormy night!

Anyway, I was reading this weird book,

and there's a chapter in here
I think might interest you.

Ha! Sucker!

I'm surprised you fell for that old
"Slam the platypus in a book" trick.

Actually, I'm surprised it took
me that long to think of it.

Anyhoo, you should know that
that mysterious book that

you are trapped in has a very
interesting chapter about,

bum-bum-bum, the inexplicable
giant floating baby head.

Wow. That was weird.

I wonder if that's gonna
happen every time I say,

"inexplicable giant floating baby head."

Oh, cool!

Hey, watch this. The
inexplicable giant floating baby

ham sandwich!


Anyway, the chapter says that
if you get close enough to touch the...

uh, the inexplicable giant
floating you know,

You get three wishes.
Pretty sweet, huh?

The rest of the chapter was devoted
to the giant floating rest of the baby.

But since I've never seen one
in Danville, I didn't finish.

So how am I going to get
the baby head to come to me?

Behold! The Inexplicable-giant

Everything I know about getting a baby's
attention has gone into this inator.

Yes! Babies like keys, right?
When you shake your keys.

Yeah, it...
it's one of the things they like.

It's so horrible.

Gently, gently.
Don't k*ll me.

Just one small...

It's gone!

Perry the Platypus, look at my hand!

It's kind of disturbing but
it worked. I get three wishes!

Okay, we'll give this a whirl.
I'll use one wish just to test it out.

Hmm, I wish for an iced tea.

Well, look at that! It worked!

Not bad, though it could really use

some sugar and one
of those lemon slices.

I... see, I wasn't specific enough.

Oh, right, I forgot in these kinds
of stories there's always a twist.

But, but, but I'm too smart for that.

All I have to do is be really
clear about what I want,

like my next wish.
I'll be really sure to clearly say,

"I wish to control..."

Aah! Cheese and crackers!

Oh, you think you're so clever,
don't you, Perry the Platypus?

Making me waste a wish?
Nice try, pal.

But what you don't realize is that this

guy knows the real
waste of a wasted wish is

to waste the wish that
was wished wastefully.

And I am not wasting
this wasteful wish.

The point is, I now have
control over cheese and crackers.

Cheese, advance!

Swiss! Smoky gouda! String!

Individually wrapped
cheese food substitute!

Ha! Cheese, snack att*ck!

You, Limburger! Hold on a second,
You're a strong cheese.

Get this book shelf off my foot.

Oh, man. If I wasn't so hungry,
this would be horrifying.

Well, you may have shredded it,
but you haven't stopped it!

Uh... uh...

Oh, I see. I don't know
how I forgot cheese was edible.

By the way, I believe you're over the
five second rule there, Perry the platy...

Ow! Well, I hope you didn't
leave room for crackers!

Crackers, go get him!

Why do I have six boxes
of oyster crackers?

Must have been on sale.

Very clever, Perry the Platypus,

but let's see how you do
against the hard stuff.

Parmesan, give him a taste
of your crystalline texture!

Ah, so you b*at up
a bunch of snacks. Big deal!

But you forget, Perry the Platypus,
I still have one wish left.

And I've learned from
my past two mistakes.

I'm going to do this one right!

You know what it is I
want, Perry the Platypus?

I want to be the biggest
ruler of the... What?

Oh, you're right! I say "ruler"
and I could end up being, like,

a big wooden yardstick
or something. Good catch.

Good, good catch, Perry the
Platypus. Let me rephrase that.

I want to be, specifically,
the monarch of...

No, no. No, you're
right, that's a butterfly.

Well, how about the super-inten...

No, no. Wait,
I know!

I wish to be the head
of the Tri-State Area!

Oh! sh**t! I just heard that.

Yep, I'm a head.

A big old head, Perry the Platypus.
That's what I wished for.

Where are you going? So, what?

I don't need your help. That's right.

Just walk away, Perry the Platypus.

Oh, you're giving me the
smirk face. Nice. Fine.

Maybe I like being a giant head, huh?

Uh-oh. Oh!
I have to itch my nose!

Oh, no! I can't.

Ow! Curse you, Perry the Platypus!

And you, too, you giant
inexplicable floating baby head!

Eh, knock it off!

At dot, dot, dot, funny warts,
add the picture and...

Ah! Back from the commercial, are we?

Shall I continue? Hmm.

The final grim installment in our
Terrifying Tri-State Trilogy of Terror

takes place in an
unassuming suburban backyard

where five happy campers
and their platypus discover

they may not know what
they are going to do today.

Suddenly, from
out of the shadows,

the zombie bunny rabbit appeared and

then he ate up all the marshmallows!

Remember, those marshmallows
are for everyone.

The zombie bunny doesn't care!

Okay, it's my turn to tell a scary story.

Ooh! What's it gonna be? Suspense,
stalker, horror, action, adventure,

or my personal favorite, the campy
costume alien teen romance dramedy?

Well, let's see what's in this weird book.

"Make a doll come alive...
how to get three wishes...

giant floating rest of baby."

Hey, check it out! It says here
you have to be careful not to spill

grape juice on a platypus or it
will make an evil platypus clone.

I'm not really sure why anyone would...

Keep reading.
Buford, stop!

Aw, poor little guy.

Buford, you shouldn't pour
anything on a platypus.

I just wanted to see what would happen.

Well, he's dry, but now he's purple.

Cool! It actually worked!

Who's my little platypus clone?

What was that all about? What part
of "evil clone" are you not getting?

Obviously, the "evil" part.

I say we take off and nuke
the entire site from orbit.

It's the only way to be sure.
Cheese and crackers!

Oh, no! Look! They are using
our grape juice box to make more!

Wow. This is such a Halloween thing
to happen in the middle of summer.

What are we gonna do, Phineas?

We have to contain these
duplicating evil platypuses somehow.

Uh, we could build a vacuum
that attracts only platypus fur.

No, no, then Perry would be in danger.

Uh, maybe an alpha ray grid to...

No, no, that's too much radiation. Hmm.
I can smell his brain working.

Oh, sure, blame it on Phineas.

I don't know, g*ng. I'm
kinda stumped on this one.

Fear not! I know someone
who can help us. Follow me!

I don't get it, Baljeet.
Where are we going?

Whenever I need counsel on
a problem, I go to my life coach.

Life coach?
I am so hurt!

Buford, this man is the embodiment
of pure thought and wisdom.

Well, well! If'n it ain't Baljeet!

Everyone, this is Rusty Britches.
Rusty, this is everyone.

Well, I'm right pleased
to meet you kids!

Wha... Howdy?

Well, don't just stand there
with your hair on your head

and your socks tucked into
your boots, come on in.

Thank you for the lemonade, Rusty.

You're surely welcome.
Now what can I do you for?

If I may, Mr. Britches.

The city's been overrun
by evil platypuses,

and we can't figure out
how to get rid of them.

Well, that's a real
beehive in your well water.

Let me get my thinkin' bench.

Well, it's like old Pap used to say.

When your horse starts drawing
a bath instead of a wagon,

it's time to change the welcome mat.

Does anyone else get the feeling we're
really taking our time with this thing?

Look, Rusty, we really appreciate
your colloquial prairie wisdom,

but I think we have to move along
before things get worse out there.

Well, I reckon you know best.

It was right fine to meet...
Aw, cheese and crackers!

This is supposed to
be for cleaning boats,

but sometimes you got to
wash with the wrong brush

to get a colt to the chaparral.
Wash? Brush?

That's it! You're a genius, Mr. Britches!

Oh, shucks! I'm just a
simple cowboy life coach.

Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today.

So, since the evil platypuses are made
out of grape juice stains and dark magic,

these high-powered bubble
washers ought to do the trick.

Okay, suds up, people!
We're going platy-scrubbing!

Hey, Phineas! How about some good
ol', down-home, granny slappin'

platy-scrubbing musical accompaniment?


♪ The chips were down,
the stakes were high ♪

♪ The kids knew it was do-or-die ♪

♪ Ripped to shred with razor-like claws ♪

♪ Their doom was all but nigh ♪

♪ Screaming in pain,
they'd be eaten alive... ♪

Hey, hey, hey, hey! What the
heck, man? You're bringing us down.

It's really a good song but, uh...

Maybe you could play something
a little more, you know, up-tempo.

Oh, right. Gotcha!

♪ Well, we were sh**t' 'em,
washin' 'em, scrubbin' 'em ♪

♪ Terminating all livelong day ♪

♪ Happy little kids
with a happy little chore ♪

♪ Just yodeling all the way! ♪

Go on without me!

It's as I always say, you got to...

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

This doesn't look too good, Ferb.
Everybody retreat to that factory!

Oh, no, guys! This is
a grape juice box factory!

How terrifyingly specific!

They're here!

There's too many of them! Phineas!


I'm getting tired of
running from these jerks.

And so, our heroes were ripped
to shreds and left to die!

Wait a minute! That was a pretty
grim ending, don't you think?

Yeah, talk about your
unlightful endings.

He means delightful,
and he means the opposite of that.

Okay, okay. I'll give
you the Hollywood ending.

I have a plan. Everyone
keep your eye out

for the sprinkler system supply housing!
There it is!

Isabella, you, Baljeet
and Buford hold them back

while we get the soap
into the sprinkler system.

You'd better hurry, Phineas!

There are too many of them!

Oh, no! The manual
override is way up there!

There's no way I can reach it.
Uh, guys, I'm out!

I am out, too!
What are we gonna do?


Look, everyone, it's
Baljeet's cowboy life coach!

On a unicorn! Straining all
credulity, he has come to save us!

Soap's on, little tykes!

Rusty, you did it!
They are all melting away!

You've saved my factory!

Look, everyone!
It is Officer Concord,

the juice-time juice box flavor cop!

Well done, everyone! Let's dance!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Totally unbelievable.

Which part? The unicorn
or Officer Concord,

the juice-time juice box flavor cop?

Nah, the cowboy.
You do not believe in cowboys?

Have you ever seen one in real life?

So, you see, if I had
a Macabre Book Mobile,

those are the kinds of
things that could happen.

I'm gonna be blunt, Mr. Macabre...
It's "Macabre."

Mr. Macabre, I'm not gonna give you
a loan to buy a Macabre Book Mobile.

Why not?
You have no detailed

records of assets, no inventory,
nothing you can use as collateral.

Your stories don't even make sense!
It's a bad business proposition.

What if I were to say "please"?

That's not gonna work.

Get out.
Pretty please, with a cherry on top?

A cherry, huh?

Okay, but this is the
last loan I am giving you.

♪ All is well that ends well ♪

♪ With a happy little cowboy song ♪

♪ Happy little steps on a happy little... ♪

Dang it!

I'm all right. Hey, you go
ahead and read the credits,

I'll just wait down here.

It's kinda nice down here, actually.
There's a dandelion.

It's all puffy and ready to go.
Here you go.

Logo ought to be coming
up any minute. There it is!
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