02x02 - Chinese New Year

[bunniefuu]

ANDI: Previously, on Andi Mack...

Andi, I like being around you
more than anyone else.

So I was wondering, maybe you could
think about being around me?

So he asked me the simplest
question: "What's your next class?"

Which is English...
But guess what I said?

Dimples.

You're not ready for this kind
of relationship with Jonah.

Jonah Beck likes me. This is the best
thing that has ever happened to me.

I want a real race to prove once
and for all who's the fastest.

You get a real sparkle in your eye
when you're overconfident.

- Is this my dad?
- No.

Then who is it?

See? Nobody.

Bex... will you marry me?

Mom, say yes.

Um...

So, are they engaged?

Basically. She just needs a
minute to get her mind around it.

I'm not getting married to Bowie.

What? No.

You're going to marry Bowie, you
just said you needed more time.

I did need more time.

Well, it hasn't even been a day.
Take your time, reflect!

Andi... the answer
was always gonna be no.

It's not that I wasn't ready
to tell Bowie...

I wasn't ready to tell you.

What?

I know how much you want
me and Bowie to get married.

Because you guys love each other.

We do. But that doesn't mean

we're meant to life-and-death it.

So...

Bowie knows?

Of course he knows. I mean...
I haven't told him, but...

So then, how do you explain
the pizza with the rose?

Andi... you still have
your mother and father.

You have your family.

But I'm not gonna marry Bowie.

He'll be crushed.

He'll be fine.

I'll talk to him tomorrow.

The sooner the better.

(SIGHS)

But not tomorrow.

Definitely... not tomorrow.

It's Chinese New Year.

Yeah.

♪ I'm standin' on the edge ♪

♪ And everything I know-oh-oh
is blown away ♪

♪ Life is upside down ♪

♪ But any way it goes I'll work it out ♪

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh ♪

♪ Here we go ♪

- ♪ One, two, three ♪
- ♪ I'm ready for tomorrow ♪

♪ Tomorrow starts today ♪

♪ There ain't a map to follow ♪

♪ But I'm with you all the way ♪

♪ I'm ready for tomorrow ♪

- ♪ Tomorrow starts today ♪
- ♪ Hey ♪

♪ There ain't a map to follow ♪

- ♪ But I'm with you all the way ♪
- ♪ Hey ♪

♪ All the way ♪

What are you gonna do?

Well, track season's over so,
time for hoops.

Basketball, huh?

I love basketball.

Then you should try out for pep squad.

They cheer at the games.

Or I could sign up for basketball.

But Jefferson doesn't have
a girls' basketball team.

Then I guess I have no choice.

You are witnessing history.

The first girl on the Jefferson
Middle School basketball team.

Swish!

ANDI: So, you and Marty, huh?

Me and Marty nothing.

Should we call you guys "Barty"?

Or do you prefer "Muffy"?

Stop.

(LAUGHS)

Wow. Gorgeous.

Yeah. Because when you're surrounded
by your relatives paying homage

to your dead ancestors,
you wanna look cute.

For Chinese New Year,
Emily Chang's family

just goes to the Golden
Pagoda restaurant.

I know. She's lucky.

Every year CeCe tries so
hard to impress my Aunt Mei

that it turns into a festival of stress.

A stress-tival.

I remember.

Don't worry.
You never have to come again.

Andi? Someone here to see you.

Wow.

(LAUGHS)

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hello, hello, hello ♪

♪ Let's get going ♪

♪ I don't wanna waste a single moment ♪

♪ Ooh oo-ooh ♪

♪ Hello, hello, hello ♪

- Wow.
- ♪ Ooh ♪

You left your phone in the cafeteria.

Really? I thought it was in my jacket.

I texted you, but, well, you know.
(LAUGHS)

Thanks.

Where you going?

My grandmother's house.
It's Chinese New Year.

Doshe!

What do you do for Chinese New Year?

Well, there's a big feast, and we get
red envelopes with money in them.

It's the Year of the Dog.

Sounds awesome.

You should come.

Really?

Well, y... y... you don't have to.

I'd love to.

Bex? Did you hear that?

He'd love to!

Yes, I'm following along.

You too, Buffy. Please come.

Please?

You just said I didn't have to.

Uh, neither do you. It's a lot of
rituals, and you gotta dress up,

- and you don't wanna...
- I'll go home and change.

And I gotta get to the gym.

Bye.

- Watch out for Ronald.
- Who?

You'll see.

What did I just do?

Invited a boy you like
into the belly of the beast.

This is going to be a disaster.

It'll be fine. You just have to
talk to CeCe before he gets there.

Because she doesn't like surprises.
Or boys.

And definitely not surprise boys.

Okay, say something
that makes me feel better.

There will be turnip cakes.

I do like turnip cakes.

Right.

Is the baby bok choy ready?

- Baby bok good to go.
- Woo-woo.

This is how my mother's
kitchen always used to smell

on Chinese New Year.

Because I'm using
Grandma Chin's recipes.

I never thought I would say this,
but, I'm glad you're in Bex's life.

- And ours.
- Hm?

Mm...

And I want you to know
that you are always welcome

in our home. You should
consider it your home.

Because as Andi's father, you're family.

And should you wanna
add another title to that...

- (BOWIE/ HAM CHUCKLING)
- Celia...

In fact... Bex and I might have
some happy news to share soon.

Are these for the dead or the living?

Ooh, that looks delicious... No!
Those should go to the ancestors.

What do you think he
meant by happy news?

Do you think they're getting engaged?

We'll just have to wait and see.

But if they are,
wouldn't it be wonderful

to shove it in my judge-y sister's face!

Well, sure, but we're just
gonna wait and see.

Right?

I don't get to have
any fun at all today?

♪ Let go, let go, let go ♪

♪ You gonna be ♪

♪ Not sure, not sure ♪

♪ I know ♪

♪ Let go ♪

Wow.

You really went to town, Mom.

Well, it's your first year
back in a long time,

so I wanted to make it special for you.

Mm. Let's just both pretend that's true.

(WHISPERS) Hey.

It's so beautiful, CeCe. It feels
wrong that only our family

gets to experience
this Chen-sation, heh.

(QUIETLY) Get to it.

Hello, girls.

You both look lovely.

(CHUCKLES) Happy New Year.

Happy New Year, Dad.

- Happy New Year.
- Happy New Year.

Mmm.

Oh. Aunt Mei's cuckoo clock.

We're still pretending
it lives in the house?

I know, I know, just once a year.

Happy New Year.

Happy New Year.

Um, thanks for the pizza.

And the rose.

You were saying something to CeCe?

Yeah, I better get back to it.

Sticky rice waits for no man.

- (DOORBELL RINGS)
- Ugh. That must be Mei now.

- Or, it might be...
- I'll get that!

For the last time,
I don't want any magazines.

No, CeCe, this is my friend Jonah.

Hi, Mrs. Mack. Nice to meet you.

I know all of Andi's friends.
You're not one of them.

He's a new friend.

ANDI: I invited him.

You're wearing white,
the color of death.

But please, come in.

Fix him before Aunt Mei gets here.

It wasn't a total disaster.

Year of the Dog! (QUIETLY) Woof.
Come on.

Thanks Mr. Mack, I didn't know.

Lucky we wear the same size, huh?

- (DOORBELL RINGS)
- Oh.

I'll get it.

Gung Hay Fat Choy!

Bex, it's been so long.

Ham, Gung Hay Fat Choy.

Uh... Mm.

I just wanted to give you a hand.

Oh... Ronald is in the house.

Hey, Ronald.

Gung Hay Fat Choy.

Mei, this wasn't necessary.

Well, I knew you wouldn't
want a repeat of

the Year of the Rooster
tilapia disaster.

(LAUGHS)

Remember that? Oooh.

Oh, how are you holding up, sweetie?

I'm fine, Auntie Mei.

I think it's Great Auntie Mei now.

(LAUGHS) But we'll stick with
Auntie Mei for old time's sake.

Right, Granny?

I'm so sorry my daughter
and son-in-law couldn't be here,

but they're in Tuscany,
in this gorgeous castle.

Aw, too bad they didn't invite you.

But they did.
I wanted to be here with you.

- (CUCKOO CLOCK SOUNDS)
- Oh, good! I'm glad to see

you're keeping that clock serviced.

(LAUGHING) It was very expensive,
hand-carved by craftsmen

from the very finest
Black Forest wood, you know.

Mm-hm. How could I forget?

(LAUGHS)

(QUIETLY) You won't let me.

(HISSING NOISE)

Sorry, Grandpa.

Go ahead. Take a sh*t.

I... don't like those shorts.

I meant a basketball sh*t.

I don't like those basketball shorts.

Just throw me the ball.

Can I join?

Okay, Slick, it's on.

It has the same crazy
eyes as our mailman.

What was that?

I was merely pulling this silver dollar

out of your ear canal.

That I've magically turned
into this delicious shark gummi!

This is Ronald.

Oh... the famous Ronald.

You're familiar with my work?

Ronald's a magician... in training, heh.

What other tricks can you do?

Make an entire afternoon disappear.

Ahh, Bowie.

That ginger scallion lobster
smells heavenly.

He's making all of Mom's
traditional dishes.

Shouldn't your caterer
be wearing a hair net?

Bowie's not the caterer.

He's Andi's father.

Andi's father?

I thought he was out of the picture.

Oh, he's in the picture.

And in the picture,
he's a fabulous cook.

And, an avid botanist.

His work.

What's up?

Ooh...

I am on the verge
of winning Chinese New Year,

but I need a topper.

What's going on with you and Bowie?

What? Nothing.

That's not gonna
push me over the finish line.

Give me something.

(WHISPERS) Bowie said there
might be some big news.

Are you two getting engaged?

I'm not... talking about this with you!

Okay! Okay!

The food looks really good.

This isn't even half of it.

It's gonna be a full-on feast.

When does it start? I'm starving.

Pretty soon. We just have to pray
to the shrine of my ancestors.

Which I have to do now.

(WHISPERS) How's it work?

You light the incense stick,
and hold it in your hands.

Then you bow three times standing,

three times kneeling...

and then three times standing while
looking at the ancestors' photos.

That's beautiful.

(WHISPERING) Wait,
they're all gonna do it?

(WHISPERING) Yeah.

(GIGGLES)

Those dumplings are not for you.

They're an offering to our ancestors.

Sorry.

It's not his fault. I didn't tell him.

And he's really hungry.

Who is he again?

I told you, they're friends.

I just assumed he was Andi's boyfriend.

He's not Andi's boyfriend,
they play frisbee together.

Um... (LAUGHS)

CELIA: Andi doesn't have a boyfriend.

Andi is not allowed to have a boyfriend.

Well, that may be your rule,

but we all know how good
you are at enforcing it.

I am this close to saying
something you'll regret.

Whoa, whoa, Mei, Celia, no one
wants another Year of the Horse.

Why don't we finish honoring
your esteemed ancestors,

and then perhaps a little
good fortune and prosperity?

Please.

ANDI: Yeah.

(WHISPERING) I'm sorry.

Gung Hay Fat Choy.

What's inside?

Ten bucks.

It's what we get every year.

Gung Hay Fat Choy.

- Gung Hay Fat Choy.
- Oh, you don't have to give me one.

You're still unmarried, so...

Oh, well, when you're so
gracious about it, thank you.

I'm not judging you, Bex,
I just want you to know.

I mean, just because my daughter Ling is

celebrating her th wedding anniversary

in Tuscany, it's not a competition.

CELIA: My turn!

- Gung Hay Fat Choy.
- Thank you.

Thanks, CeCe.

Thanks, Mom.

And... Gung Hay Fat Choy.

Thank you, Mrs. Mack.

Okay, everybody, open 'em.

Well...

Wha...?

I... don't know what to say.

As you know, I'm not big
on public speaking,

but I have something important to say.

To Bowie.

I've come to see what a hard-working,

honorable man you are.

- And I wanna make sure you know...
- Celia.

That if there are any
happy announcements

you'd like to share tonight,

you'd have my blessing.

Guys...

(MOUTHING)

Excuse me.

Bowie!

What's going on? Can anyone explain?

I can.

They're not getting married.

I was gonna talk to you tomorrow.

What were you gonna say?

This isn't about you and me, Bowie.

- It's not?
- It's about Andi.

More than anything,
she wants us to get married.

You know we'd both jump off
a cliff to make her happy.

And, we almost did.

What if I wanna jump off that cliff?

For you.

Bowie, I'll always love you.

We have an amazing bond.

But... that bond is Andi.

We're still a family.

Nothing has to change,
you know that, right?

Yeah.

Right.

No change necessary.

Uh, don't worry. Everything's fine.

Just gonna take off.

Happy New Year, everyone.

Bowie!

Are you okay?

Of course I'm not okay.

I will be.

Go back, enjoy your family.

And, uh, just tell me...

Jonah? Is he the guy you like?

(CHUCKLES)

Bye.

Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Stop, drop and roll.

'Cause I'm on fire.

You're not even on the squad
and you're already the MVP?

That's right.

Are you familiar with the
concept, "team player"?

I'm familiar with the ball and the
net, and that's what matters.

You're too much. I really hope
you and your ego make the team.

Later, brah.

Oh, good. Are we done basketballing?

Please say yes.

You can go. I wanna
work on my free throws.

Hey, wait, wait... You seem nervous.
Are you nervous?

I'm not gonna make the team
if I'm as good as the boys.

I have to be better.

So, yeah, I'm nervous.

But, you can't repeat that.

Repeat what?

You see what I did there?

Can I tell you a secret?

What?

(QUIETLY) You're gonna make the team.

Thanks, Cyrus.

Later, girl-brah.

That didn't sound right.

Thanks again for inviting me.

I'm sorry about the dumpling.

And Ronald.

And the shirt. And the fish eyes.

I'm glad I came.

It was an experience
I could only have with you.

I had a really nice time.

Oh, it was good to have you.

Xie xie.

Where'd you learn to say thank you?

(HAM/ANDI CHUCKLING)

Well, it was in Mandarin,
not Cantonese...

but, you're welcome.

(QUIETLY) Thank you.

So, was that too weird?

Oh... this is nothing.

- You should see Easter at my house.
- (BOTH LAUGH)

Sweetie, I thought maybe we should have

Chinese New Year at my house next year.

- Why?
- I think managing all the traditions

might be too much for you.

You have to agree this was not
the most auspicious start

to a new year. (CHUCKLES)

You are right, Mei.

I mean... And one tradition
that definitely ends today, is...

Hanging this ridiculous thing up
once a year when you come!

(GASPS) Ronald! We're going!

And get that ridiculous infinity
handkerchief outta your mouth!

- Same time next year!
- Year of the Pig!

(BOTH OINKING)

- Ooh.
- Oh.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

How are you possibly still hungry?

I didn't eat much.
There was a lot going on.

I feel so bad about Bowie.

You should.

Just admit it, you were wrong about him.

Hey. I'm perfectly capable
of b*ating myself up

without your help, thank you.

Ooh, secret stash.

Wait, Andi, don't!

Wait... What is this?

This is that picture that you
ripped up and threw away

because you said he was nobody!

So you took it out of the trash,
taped it back together,

and hid it again
inside a Toaster Tart box?

- He's just...
- Don't say he's nobody!

Is he the real reason
why you can't marry Bowie?

ANDI: Next, on Andi Mack...

I have feelings.

I'm sure you do.

I've just never seen them.

You just have to get to know me better.

I have to?

You really think you're gonna
make the boys' basketball team?

BUFFY: That was a foul!

This is a drill. There
aren't any fouls in a drill.

Can I watch it from here?

I feel safer, like you're protecting me.

ANDI: Jonah says she
wants to be friends.

Jonah just wants everything
to be "docious magocious."