10x16 - Gracie Purgatory in: That's How You Get Hemorrhoids

[bunniefuu]

[Thunder crashes]
[Cackling]

[Title music]

[Whirring]

MAN: It's alive!
[Thunder rumbles]

[Thunder crashes]
[Cackling]

[Clock ticking]

Aah!
What have you done to it?!

What have you done
to its eyes?!

He has his father's eyes.

Whose "D" do I need to ask
to get another drink in this...

Does she know?

Ahh... she knows.

"Tinker Bell warned Peter,
any time he says

fairies don't exist,
somewhere a fairy drops dead."

- Any time he says what?
- Uh, fairies don't exist.

[Gasps]

- Fairies don't exist?
- [Gasps]

That's what people can't say?

- Yes, fairies don't exist.
- [Gasps]

Mommy, I'm worried
about the fairies,

the ones that die if you say,
"Fairies don't exist."

- [Gasps]
- Harold!

You don't have to worry
about the fairies.

They're not real.

- Fairies don't exist.
- Aah!

What band did you all come
to see tonight?

TOGETHER:
Fairies Don't Exist!

[expl*si*n]

I want to hear you chant it.

[All chanting] Fairies Don't Exist.
Fairies Don't Exist.

ANNOUNCER: We now return to the
adventures of Colonial Cat.

Meow meow meow
meow meow meow.

Meow meow meow
meow meow meow meow

meow meow meow meow.

Meow meow meow meow.

Meow meow meow meow.

Meow meow meow meow meow meow
meow meow meow meow meow.

[Horse neighs]

MAN:
Welcome back to "The Voice."

Up next are a group of ex-t*rrorists
pursuing their dream of becoming

America's next hit band.

♪ We're Cold Slither,
and we're playing our tune ♪

♪ Rocking our music
and coming for you ♪

♪ We used to play for terror ♪

- ♪ But now we sing for love ♪
- Oh!

♪ We are to music like
O.J. was to gloves ♪

♪ Too fit to quit ♪

- Ohh!
- Well, well, well.

If it isn't Cold S-S-Slither,
the band

I created to poison
the minds of the youth.

Cobra Commander, uh...
let me explain.

Did you really think
you could just leave

Cobra, audition for "The Voice,"

and sing so soulfully
that I would forgive you?

- Uh... yes?
- Well, you were right.

- That was fantastic!
- [Cheering]

Now's the time to choose.

Which producer do you
want to work with?

We're going to go with...

- Blake Shelton!
- Blake [bleep] Shelton?!

His career is
dating Gwen Stefani.

[Soft music plays]

Captain, there's
an iceberg ahead.

Shh! Not now.

Sisters, to Salem.

We must suck the lives
out of the children.

- But we have no brooms.
- Not to worry, sisters.

We have something
much better than brooms.

[Laughs]

Come! We fly!

We fly!

[Laughter]

Whoa!

The battery's low, Winnie.

It's taking me back to
the docking station. Oh!

- Aah!
- Aah!

Okey-dokey, first name...
Bent-Neck,

last name... Lady.

All right, ma'am,
I'm sure we can help you.

[Deep voice] Oh, thank God.

I've been everywhere, and
everyone says I'm a lost cause.

No, there is no such thing.

Oh, darn it. I'm sorry.
We don't accept HMO.

Aah! Jesus!

Shit! [Bleep]

So, I says, "Putz,
if you're a canary,

I'm a [bleep] bald eagle."

[Laughs]
Classic pigeon burn.

Hey, here comes
Wonder Woman.

She has such a unique
flying stance.

It's almost like
she's sitting in a...

Oh, my God,
she's in her Invisible Jet!

Fly away, Pig, fly!

Aah! [Bleep]
Oh!

Mayday, mayday.

- Oh, that was a close call, huh?
- You can fly!

Why do you need
an Invisible Jet?!

Oh, Pigeon God, please save
us from this redundancy.

I will not save you, for
you have pigeon masturbated

on the Sabbath,
so sayeth Pigeon God.

[Raspberries]

Hi. I'm Will Hunting.

And I'm his dumb friend.

- We're at Goodwill.
- We're about to go...

Goodwill hunting.

- ...Goodwill hunting.
- Here we go.

Fire, fire! Arrow!
Wang!

Yes!

- Hey, that was mine!
- You like apples?

I-I guess. Oh!

How do you like them apples,
huh, old broad?

- Goodwill hunting.
- Goodwill hunting.

Getting this cashmere
Pierre Cardin for $4.99.

It's valued at least $49.99.
Gonna flip it on eBay.

My friend's wicked smart.
Goodwill hunting.

Ah, it's not your fault.

It's not your fault
you're the good Will Hunting.

Nah, I think it is.
Got to go see about a sale.

BOTH: Goodwill hunting!

[Up-tempo music plays]

We're Mutt and Jeff.

We were huge once.
It seems unfair

that we should just fade into
obscurity like this. Avenge us...

Where am I?
What is this?

[Eerie music plays]

Step right up, Beverly!

Introducing Pennywise
the Dancing Clown!

[Gasping]

[Eerie music plays]

No! No!

♪ Clowns, clowns, clowns ♪

♪ Giant shoes and clowny tips ♪
[Ting!]

♪ Clowns, clowns, clowns ♪

♪ In a tiny car,
10 clowns will fit ♪

♪ Clowns, clowns, clowns ♪

♪ They're a whole lots
of epic fail ♪

♪ Clowns, clowns, clowns ♪

♪ John Wayne Gacy
died in jail ♪

♪ Clowns, clowns, clowns ♪
[Wink]

♪ Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

- Ugh.
- Just a buck for all of that?

[Growls]

No appreciation for artistry.

I'm sorry.
It's about economy.

- We're downsizing. Got to let you go.
- Fire burn.

No, not fired.
Downsized.

Still burn.

You won't get away
with this, Fat Cat.

I already have.

And now I will finally
destroy the Rescue Rangers.

[Door opens]
LINDA: There you are, Professor Pudge.

Time to go to the doctor's.

No, Linda, not now!
Please!

I'm afraid Professor Pudge's
weight problems

aren't getting any better.

It's not Professor Pudge.
It's Fat Cat.

Which, now that I say
it out loud, is worse.

If you don't do something
soon, he's going to die,

and feline-obesity
surgeries are very expensive.

Oh, Professor,
I'll miss the way

you wore
little sport coats and vests.

Even though I never bought you
little sport coats and vests.

[Crying]
Oh, I can't watch this.

What the hell is going on here?

Favorite part of my job.
I got...

- What?! Oh!
- [Grunting]

- Aah!
- You fool!

I'm the head of a giant
animal-based crime syndicate.

I'm mother[bleep] Fat Cat.

[Heart beating]
Oh, a heart attack.

[Gasping]
[Music]

We're looking for a contractor
to build our new home.

You're in luck. At Fortnite
Builders, we pride ourselves

on being fast and resourceful.

Here, you want a staircase?

Ah! Boom! Fortnite!
Do I get the job?

- Wow, he's fast.
- Since when is speed something

you're impressed with, Joanne?

Rocket launcher!
Got to go.

We'd love to have
a Cape-Cod-style house...

- Uh-huh, uh-huh.
- ...nestled among the trees.

House, land, Cod, Fortnite!

Chop, chop, chop, chop, chop,
chop, chop, chop, chop!

- Did he just cut down all our trees?
- Destroying wood?

Looks like you've got
something in common, Joanne.

Boom! Fortnite!

That's just a poorly
constructed tower with stairs

- that go nowhere...
- Oh, sniped!

Hop and weave, Joanne.

- What? What?
- Hop and weave.

- Ah, okay, okay. Okay.
- Hop, hop, hop, hop, hop.

- Hop, hop...
- Aah!

Okay, what the [bleep]
is going on?

You're one of us now.

Never stop jumping,
Joanne. Never stop.

- Double down.
- Good luck.

19. Dealer wins.

Oh, oh! H-how much for this
Doomcaliber Knight?

- It's pretty beat-up, but...
- Sir, call these people.

A gambling addiction is no
joke, and they can help you.

- Maybe...
- ANNOUNCER: But he won't.

You can tell by
the look on his face.

[Music]

- I'm Pete.
- I'm Pete.

I'm Pete.

- I'm Pete.
- I'm Pete.

- I'm Pete.
- I'm Pete.

- I'm Pete.
- She's Pete?

- I'm Pete.
- I'm Pete.

- I'm Pete.
- I'm Pete.

I'm Pete.

I'm Pete.

- I'm Pete. I'm Pete!
- I'm Pete.

[Barks]

I'm Pete.

- I'm Pete.
- I'm Pete.

- I'm Pete.
- I'm Pete.

- I'm Pete!
- I'm Pete.

- I'm Pete.
- I'm Pete.

[g*nsh*t] I'm Pete.

I'm...
[g*nsh*t]

I'm Pete!

- I'm Pete.
- I'm Pete.

I'm Pete!

- I'm Pete.
- I'm Pete.

- I'm Pete.
- I'm Pete.

- I'm Pete.
- I'm Pete!

I'm... Pete!

- MAN: I'm Pete.
- I'm Pete, I'm Pete!

[Loud thudding]

- I'm Pete!
- I'm Pete.

I'm Pete!
[Loud thudding]

- I'm Pete.
- I'm Pete.

I'm Pete.
I'm Pete.

- [Sobbing] I'm Pete.
- I'm Pete.

I'm Pete!

- I'm Pete.
- I'm Pete.

I'm... Aaaah!

[Thud]

DEEP MALE VOICE: I am Pete,
destroyer of Petes.

[Birds chirping]
[Music]

- I'm Pete.
- I'm Pete.

- I'm Pete.
- I'm Pete.

- I'm Pete.
- I'm Pete.

- I'm Pete.
- I'm Pete.

- I'm Pete.
- I'm Pete.

My name's Peter.
I'm Peter...

[Lightning blasts]

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk
Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk
Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk
Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪

- Ba-gawk!
- Bawk.