10x20 - Endgame

[bunniefuu]

Welcome. I'm Sam Elliott.

And this is the 200th episode
of Robot Chicken.

[fireworks exploding]

To celebrate, these folks
came up with something special.

All of you fans together will be
using your remote control

to decide how the episode goes.

To select A,
press your mute button.

To select B,
press your power button.

Oh, wait.
[gulps]

[Bleep] yeah.

I would have
skipped them, myself.

Well, enjoy.

♪

[thunder crashes]
[cackling]

♪

[whirring]

[whirring]

MAN: Robot Chicken.

[thunder crashes]
[cackling]

♪

Commissioner, who is terrorizing
Gotham this time?

Joker, Two-Face?

Carol? Uh, w-what are
you doing here?

I'm surprised you had time
to answer the Bat signal

since you seem too busy
to answer my texts.

I lost my Bat-phone.

[clicking, swipes]

[cellphone vibrates]
VOICE: Me so horny.

That was my
B-Bat-Timer.

- Mm.
- My Bat-Quiche is done.

- Oh, no!
- Mm-hmm. Your Tinder account was active

just a few minutes ago,
or is this not you?

BATMAN: Think, Batman.

You're the greatest
detective mind in the world.

There must be a way
to get out of this.

This is the fourth
new female villain

you've handed over
to Arkham this month.

Some women, they just want
to watch the world burn.

b*tches be crazy.
Am I right?

- Yeah, I think that's offensive.
- Yeah, it felt wrong.

What do you boys
want to play with?

TOGETHER: Play-doh!
Play-doh! Play-doh!

You got it.

Picture, if you will,

a cave wall upon
which shadows are cast.

- Aw!
- Aw!

Now, I'm going to
strip naked

and wrestle your father.
Hop to it, dad.

- Yay?
- Yay?

If we plant our computer virus
into their alien mother ship,

it'll knock out
all of their shields.

And how exactly are we
going to infect

the mother ship with a virus?

Make my alien penis huge?
Yes, please.

[beeping]

[powering down]
Ah, shit.

I'm glad to be at a
new school after they

turned my old one into
a for-profit prison.

Hello? I'm looking for a
surrogate father figure,

but I'll settle for textbooks.

Textbooks will teach
you nothing.

To defeat the supernatural,
you must train.

Oh, so this is more
of a trade school?

Yes, and the trade
is k*lling vampires,

but you can't tell anyone,
and there's no college credit.

That's okay. I'm already
in debt from my preschool,

hashtag
#thatmillenniallife.

To be the slayer, you must
attack with confidence.

- Confident punch!
- Sneak attack.

Well done. Again.

Confident kick!

- Nut punch!
- Ooh!

- Nuts!
- Excellent!

- Again.
- I'm losing my confidence.

Please!

All right. Training is over.
You're ready.

You're a great teacher,
surrogate dad.

You see there?
A family of gathering vampires.

Stake them through the heart,
and they'll turn to dust.

Oh, yeah,
I've seen their kind.

Any second now,
they're going to start

an old-timey baseball game.

We all miss grandma,

but we can come here
any time to say hi.

- Confident heart s*ab.
- Aah!

Confident leg kick.

Combo heart s*ab combo!

My parents!
What are you doing?

I am the slayer, duh,

standing between the vampires
of hell and the light.

We're not vampires,
you assh*le!

You k*lled my parents.

You can't trick me
with your vampire magic.

I'm too confident to fool.

- s*ab, s*ab, s*ab!
- Aah!

Oh, gosh.
So, uh, these are the ...

the not-turn-into-dust
kinds of vampires, I guess.

I meant the other family.

That's just straight-up
human m*rder.

Holy [bleep], fly away!

TOGETHER: Flap, flap, flap,
flap, flap, flap, flap, flap.

You'd better lay low.

I know a school of magic in the UK.
I'm British, you know?

Ah, yes, Rupert Giles.
He's British, you know?

Well, if a Brit asks me
to hide a m*rder*r,

I cannot refuse.
BFL, Brits For Life.

Oh, boy. You're gonna
teach me magic?

I can't wait to Mindfreak
my friends.

We'll start with Spellcasting 101.

[farts, sighs]

Pop quiz, hot shot.
I've shit my robe.

- Now what?
- Uh... sorry,

did you say
you shit in your robe?

Yes, it's canon.

Now, you will clean it up
with magic.

Take your wand
and repeat after me.

- Fecus deletus.
- Fecus depletus.

Aah! Potter!

No, try again.
[flatulates]

Flecus depleticucus.

The time is almost near
when Harry Potter shall ...

Oh, oh, whoa!

Once more with confidence.

- [flatulates]
- Fecus delicious.

[gags] Got something
in my ... my ...

[retches]

[gags]

[retches]

You know, I ... I don't think
this is the school for you.

♪

Ah, this must be
the public magic school.

Welcome to the Academy
of Unseen Arts.

It's a really great school.
We're all one big family.

That sounds great!

- What's up, Sabrina?
- This is for Harvey!

- [gags]
- Praise Satan.

Tough school.

Oh, no.
I'm late for the orgy.

Or the best school.

[moaning]

So, uh, is there, like,
a jump-in place?

Do I need a tag from somebody,
just like a double-dutch?

Do I get a count on it?

Miss Lucy, how's your boobies?

I squeezed them with my hands.
Hey, look at that guy.

His anus is so well-groomed.

[evil voice] Who dares disturb
the dark lord's orgy?!

Oh, my gosh, Greg Berlanti.

That's just my nom de plume.

You can't join this orgy
unless you're a witch.

Ooh, ooh,
but I-I know a spell.

Watch this.
Fecus delicious.

[gags]

[retches]

I don't want you to sign
my book, okay?

You're banished to...

Oh, a tropical island.
This is pretty good.

Where's the school?

Oh, [bleep] you, Greg Berlanti.

Aah!

Oh, my gosh.
Look at this ground speed.

Ha. I take back what I said,
Greg Berlanti.

Excuse me.

Excuse me, a lot of dawdling
when we need to be hurrying

to get on this boat please.

Calm down! We're all going
to make it on the boat.

Well, obviously,
you've never seen "Titanic",

- so excuse, please.
- Sorry, buddy, we are full up.

Hey, no big. If history has
taught us anything,

it's that dinosaurs
are indestructible.

Whoa! I was wrong...

And up next, at the illegal
dinosaur auction,

the least [bleep]able
dinosaur you've ever seen.

[crowd "Ooh"s, "ahh"s]

What is this auction for?

- Is this like "get out"?
- $3 million.

I can't wait to cuckold this
human-headed lizard.

- Ditto! $4 million.
- Oh, crap, I don't want to be

cuckold by that old woman.

Come on, hot lady.
I'll hide in your closet.

Everybody, freeze!
This is a raid.

g*dd*mn, there's some
Jurassic porking

- going on in here.
- Oh, thank God you're here.

There's the dino pip.
Take him away, boys.

[stammers]
Aw, dang it.

[door slams]

Well, this whole day was like
a random set of circumstances

tied together
by the flimsiest of devices.

I feel like almost anything
could happen next.

- Hallelujer.
- Oh, yay, Madea!

Nobody functions
out of context like you.

Oh. That's my stomach.
What's happening?

- Oh!
- Ta-da!

So this is "Robot Chicken."
[music]

Not how I expected it to smell.

Deadpool?
Gosh, Tyler Perry is so versatile.

Where is his Oscar?

- Cool sword move.
- Wait. I was in there the whole time?

Focus on what's important, kid.

You're Bandersnatching.

Listen. Believe it or not,
I've never even seen one.

Imagine, if you will,
a fourth wall

through which you're
being watched

and, if you choose, can break.

Uh, yeah, there's obviously
a fourth wall

because this is a room.

Aah!

[slow motion] Aah!

I love you. Look.

You don't make
your own choices.

A force beyond your control does.

Yeah, Greg Berlanti.
Welcome to the Berlanti-verse.

No! Just watch.

Should he punch himself
in the balls

or pick his nose and eat it?

Balls or nose?

What?
No, what am I doing?

Stop it. I need those.

[high pitch]
Aaah!

There, there, Rocky Ball-boa.
It's okay.

You can't make choices,
but you can game the system.

- Get it?
- I think so.

I do want out of here,
so will I be rescued

by a famous model
or a famous actress?

Oh, yeah, somebody
call for Fabio? [music]

Ah, guess I left those choices
open to interpretation.

- Quick, nerd, you are rescue.
- Mm, I'd ship that.

And away we go!

Hey, nerd, you want
to go to an adventure?

To infinity and beyond!

- To infinity and beyond!
- Yeah!

[echoing] Aaaah!

And with that sketch,

my 10 seasons of research
has concluded.

[applause]

10 seasons of injecting pure
streams of pop culture

into a c*ptive viewer.

What has that done to their brain?

What has that done
to their mind?

All of my data has been
plugged into this computer,

which will now spit out the answer.

What is the perfect joke?

[whirring]

"La la land."

Thank you for your time.

♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk
ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk
ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪

♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪

- Ba-gawk!
- Bawk.

Here we go, buddy.

Sleep tight, pal.

♪ De-de-de-de-de-de ♪

♪ deedly-deedly-de-de-de ♪

♪ deedly-de, deedly-do ♪

♪ deedly-do, do ♪