01x10 - Dog Dough Afternoon

[bunniefuu]

[theme song]

♪ Maybe the world is blind

♪ Or just a little unkind

♪ Don't know

♪ Seems you can't be sure

♪ Of anything anymore

♪ Although

♪ You may be lonely and then

♪ One day you're smilin' again

♪ Every time

♪ I turn around

♪ I see the girl who turns
my world around ♪

♪ Standing there

♪ Every time I turn around

♪ Her spirit's lifting me
right off the ground ♪

♪ What's gonna be

♪ Guess we'll just wait

♪ And see ♪

Woof!

[instrumental music]

[keys clacking]

Electricity.

[keys clacking]

Gas.

Telephone.
[chuckles]

Veterinarian.

Let's see,
that all adds up to...

bankruptcy.

You know...

would be nice if you were to
start earning

your keep around here.

[instrumental music]

Well, that's a start.

Now look in the "want" ads.

Hi, Henry.

Hello, Mrs. Johnson.

I've got a wonderful
surprise for you.

You're moving?

Henry, would it k*ll you
just to show me

a little common courtesy?

Probably not.

But why take chances?

Well, I do believe
it's starting to rain.

Fortunately,
we have two little girls

who's prepared for bad weather.

[instrumental music]

[applause]

Do you like
our new outfits, Henry?

Very stylish.

I can't wait till it rains.

Me too. I hope we have
a thunderstorm.

Maybe we'll get real lucky
and have a hurricane.

$ for just one outfit?

Henry, $ was just for the hat.

The whole outfit was .

$ ?

That's right.

You told me not to buy junk.

You said, "The better the
quality, the longer it'll last."

At this price, it better last
till she graduates from college.

Henry, can we test out
our new outfits

by standing under the shower?

No.

That's brand new rain gear,

I don't want it getting wet.

Come on, Cherie. Let's go to
my room and do a rain dance.

Good idea!

[imitating w*r cry]

Well, I guess I owe you $ .

That's right.

Now, you be sure and remind me.

Henry, Focker's outfit is COD.

Cash or die.

Okay. I'll write you a check.

But could you do me
one little favor?

What's that?

Hold it till Monday?

- Oh, sure.
- Hah.

I understand.

[inhales]
What was that exact total again?

$ . .

I'll make it out for $ . .

How come?

Well, just a little something
extra for your trouble.

Gee,

now I can buy that
summer home on the lake.

I have to watch every penny,
Mrs. Johnson.

In no time at all, Punky will
grow out of that outfit

and we'll need a new one.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

I bought Cherie
a pair of sneakers

and she outgrew them
on the way home from the store.

Perhaps the ancient Chinese
had the right idea.

- Bind their feet.
- Hah.

Mrs. Johnson,

I had no idea
that raising Punky

will be so expensive.

Since Punky moved in,

my utility bills have gone
sky high.

When I lived alone,
I could economize in winter.

I only heated one room.

I remember. This place was like
an ice box.

That was another way I saved.

I unplugged the refrigerator.

Well, I'll tell you
what freezes my blood.

- Hmm.
- The price of food.

The way Cherie puts it away,

I'm gonna have to start
having my paychecks

sent straight to the market.

Punky goes through almost
half a gallon of milk a day.

Half a gallon of milk

used to last me
two-three months.

So that's why your kitchen
used to smell so funny.

You know, I once read that
from birth to age

it costs about a $ ,
to raise a child.

Henry: Oh.

That's terrifying.

But look on the bright side,

you got Punky when she was
eight years old.

She's only gonna cost you
a measly thou.

Since Punky got here,

I have spent quite a few
sleepless nights

wondering how
I'll make ends meet.

Mrs. Johnson: Well, Henry,
welcome to the wonderful world

of parenthood.

Henry: Uh-huh.

[instrumental music]

$ , !

Yeah. That's almost a million.

Boo!
[breathing heavily]

- Hi, Allen.
- Hi, Allen.

Didn't my mask scare you?

What mask?

Very funny.

Help me in.

What are you doing here, Allen?

I've got some big news.

- Really?
- Really?

Yeah.

Irwing's Unusual Ice-cream

just got in a brand new flavor.

Pork sausage!

I'm gonna order a double link.

Punky, if you get a dollar
from Henry,

and Cherie gets a dollar
from her grandma,

and the three of us will have
two dollars to spend.

No way, Allen.

I'm never asking Henry
for money ever again!

- No more.
- You want me to ask him?

No, Allen.

We just heard Henry
and Mrs. Johnson

saying how expensive kids are.

Yeah, we cost $ , !

What? My parents can't
afford that much.

Must have got me on sale.

Allen, we're saying they cost
our parents $ ,

to raise us until we're .

[sighs]
They must be holding out on me,

'cause all I get
is quarter a week.

Allen, you never
understand anything.

What's that supposed to mean?

I feel awful.

I never realized how much money
I'm costing Henry.

Yeah. I never knew my grandma
worried about money.

I just figured her job paid her
enough for everything.

My dad complains about money
all the time.

Every month he asks my mom
for buying something expensive,

then after she cries
her brains out,

he goes out and buys her
something even more expensive.

I can't believe
how selfish I've been.

I want to stay here with Henry,

but I never stopped to realize

how much money
it was costing him.

Take. Take. Take.

It's all I do.

I'm not gonna be
a tree-loader anymore!

I'm gonna find a way to pull
my own weight around here.

How're you gonna do that?

I don't know.

But I'll think of somethin'.

[instrumental music]

[knock on door]

Oop!

[clears throat]

Come in.

Hi.

Can I help you?

Yes, sir. I'd like to borrow
$ , , please.

I beg your pardon?

I'd like a loan
for $ , .

[chuckling]

Well, that's a good one.
[laughs]

I'm serious.

Ms. Taylor, there's an adorable
little girl in here

who needs to be shown the door.

No, thanks.
I saw it when I came in.

Miss Taylor?

Miss Taylor?

She's not here.

I sent her to lunch.

Who are you?

Here's my card.

"Pun Brew?"

I started writing
the letters too big.

I had it finished on the back.

"Keyster?"

That's me. Punky Brewster.

Well, I'm Oliver Green,
and you've brightened up my day.

Now get out.

- I have to leave?
- Yes.

You shouldn't be in here.

I happen to be a very,
very busy man.

Hi.

Yes?

Isn't this
Midvale Bank and Trust?

Yes, it is.

The one on TV they call
"The Friendly Bank?"

That's right.

Well, you're not being
very friendly to me.

Young lady, you are in
the vice president's office.

The friendly people
are downstairs.

Now, you go talk to them

and you may go home
with a toaster.

Hi.

Yes?

I have a toaster.

What I need is , grand.

My dear, how in the world

would you ever pay back
a loan that large?

With my allowance.

If I cut down on
chocolate milk at school,

I could pay you back
ten cents a week.

At that rate
it would take you...

[whirring]

[keys clacking]

fifteen thousand years.

Well, maybe by then
I'll be a rodeo rider

or an astronaut,
and I could pay you back

a dollar a week.

Young lady,

we only lend money to people
who are already working

and are financially stable.

You mean, you only lend money

to people who
already have money?

Exactly.

That's weird.

Why don't you lend money
to people who really need it?

Because then we have to worry
about them paying it back!

But I thought this was
Midvale Bank and Trust.

Not Midvale Bank and Worry.

[sighs]

Tell me,
what is it you plan to do

with this $ , ?

Raise me.

I beg your pardon?

You see, I heard Henry,
he's my foster dad.

He thinks they cost $ ,

to raise me until I'm .

Umm, yeah, that's about right.

Well, we don't have
that much money,

and you see, Henry works
so hard, that I figured,

I'd help him out
by paying my own way.

- You know what, Punky?
- What?

In all my years of banking,
that is the nicest reason

anyone's ever given for a loan.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Well, where do I sign?

[chuckling]

Punky, I'm very impressed

with your reasons
for wanting this money,

but I'm afraid I just can't
give it to you.

Sorry.

Hey, I took a sh*t.

Hold on, Punky.

Now, there are other ways
of obtaining money.

Maybe, maybe you could
get a job.

Are there any openings here?

I could sit behind a desk

and not give people money.

[clears throat]
That job is filled.

Uh, how about, uh,
opening up a lemonade stand?

Too seasonal.
I need a steady income.

Well, how about selling cookies?

I think there's a law that only
Girl Scouts can do that.

Hmm.

[intercom buzzes]

Oh, excuse me.

Hello.

Oh, hello, dear.

It's my wife.

Yeah, I'm-- I'm sorry
I can't talk now, dear.

I'm meeting with
a very important client.

No, no, no, no, dear,

I'm not insinuating that

anyone's more important
than you.

It's just that I...

Uh, uh, what?

No, it-- it's impossible I...

No, I don't have the ti...

Dear, if you just let me
get one word in edge...

It's alright, dear.

Yeah, and I love you, too.

Sorry, Punky. I have to go.

I'm spending my lunch hour
with Poopsi.

Poopsi? Is that what
you call your wife?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

That's what I call my dog.

I call my wife Bowser.

Gee, you're taking
a dog to lunch.

That's nice.

Oh, actually, I'm taking him
to the groomers.

$ for a haircut?

His haircuts cost twice
as much as mine.

Mr. Green?

Yes?

This is your lucky day.

- It is?
- Absolutely.

You're looking at one of the
best dog-groomers in Chicago.

Oh.

Have you had any experience?

Sure. I've been grooming my dog,
Brandon, for years.

Oh, how much do you charge?

$ ?

Punky, you're in business.

Come on, let's go get Poopsi
from old Bowser.

[instrumental music]

Oh, and one more thing,
Mrs. Sebotikin,

we're having a special
this month on puppy perms.

Oh, okay. Then I'll pick up
Fifi in just a little while.

Goodbye.

[knock on door]

- Who is it?
Cherie: Cherie.

And Allen.

Thanks, guys, for coming.

I really need your help.

What's this?

It's my job application.

"Allen Anderson, age eight."

"Salary, yes."

Okay, Allen, for every dog
you wash, you get cents.

Nothing doing.

For every three dogs I wash,
I get a dollar.

Okay, but only 'cause
you're a friend.

Punky, I'm worried about this.

We don't know anything
about dog-grooming.

Relax, Cherie.

We'll just pretend that
we're running a beauty parlor.

The only difference is,
is our customers have fleas

and their tongues hang out.

[upbeat music]

[music continues]

Great job, guys.

Our customers are gonna be
really happy with our work.

[knock on door]

[gasping]

Punky: Who is it?
Eddie: It's me, Eddie.

[sighing]

Hi, Eddie.

I just saw Mr. Warnimont
coming down the street.

Great. He can help us finish
grooming these dogs.

No, Allen. Henry is not supposed
to know about this.

I want to wait until
I've earned the $ ,

and then surprise him.

Eddie, you got to get out there
and stop Mr. Warnimont.

Don't worry.
He won't get past me.

Phew. Huddle!

[instrumental music]

Hey, Mr. Warnimont, can I talk
to you for a second?

- No.
- Okay, have a nice day.

[whistling]

What's all this?

Oh, uh...

Cherie and I
were playing beauty parlor.

Sit down.
You want a pedicure?

Later, Punky. I have to put away
these groceries.

No.
[gasps]

No?

I meant there's no need to
when you look so tired.

Sit down, Henry. And I'll put
away the groceries.

Henry: Oh. Thanks, I will.

[telephone ringing]

Hello?

What?

"When will I be done
with Poopsi?"

Sorry, no Poopsi here.

You look pretty poops yourself,
Henry.

Sit down and relax.

Excellent idea.

[groans]

[screams]

Ooh.

Who wears this?

Oh, uh...

It's a bracelet,
I'm taking it back.

It's too big.

Punky, what is going on here?

Do you mean "here here"
or just "here?"

Ever since I got home, I've had
the sneaky suspicion

that something is going on
behind my back.

That's silly.

Punky, you're hiding
something from me.

I'm not sure what it is.

But I know that something's
going on around here. [sighs]

[dog barking]

Is that Brandon?

Yeah, sure. Who else?

You've been feeding him
steroids?

You're probably wondering what

this well-groomed dog
is doing here.

It crossed my mind.

He followed me home from school.
Can I keep him?

Certainly not.

We don't have room for
another dog that size.

[dog barking]

How about one that size?

Punky, what doggy
craziness is this?

Well, I sort of started
a dog-grooming business,

and these are
my first customers.

Look how his coat shines.

You turned this apartment
into a kennel.

But let me explain.

There's no explanation
for this kind of behavior.

How dare you let these animals
in here without my permission?

I want them out!

Hi, Mr. Warnimont.

How long have you
been listening?

Uh, ever since I was born.

We just came to see if we could
help with the dogs.

Yes, you can. I want them out!

[instrumental music]

Abandon ship!

Ladies and puppies first.

Thanks, sir.
We'll take it from here.

Young lady,
you are in big trouble.

I know.

- I shouldn't have done it.
- That's right.

I guess the best thing would be

if I just packed
my stuff and left.

Hold it.

You can't just leave.

Why not?

That'd be the best thing.

Then I wouldn't be a burden
on you anymore.

Burden?

Yeah, that's what I am.

You've been taking care of me,

and I haven't done
anything to help.

Here.

What's this?

The money I earned
from my business.

There are $ here.

I'm sorry it's not
the , I owe you.

Eighty thousand?

Yeah.

I heard you and
Mrs. Johnson saying

that's how much it would cost
to raise me.

Oh.

I see.

Punky, let's sit down.

[groans]
Oh.

Ooh.

I want you to know that you
never have to worry about money.

That's not your job, it's mine.

Your job is to go to school

and to have fun
and to be a little girl.

I'm so expensive.

You're worth every penny
I spend on you.

You're not expensive.

You're priceless.

Thanks, Henry.

Tell you what,

tomorrow let's take these
$ to the bank

and open a savings account
for you.

Okay.

Right now, why don't we go
into the kitchen

and make us a nice steak dinner?

[instrumental music]

Or we could send out for pizza.

[theme music]