01x09 - S&M Present

[bunniefuu]

It's alive!

Yep.

Oh, will it hurt?

Only if God hates you.

Hey, mamma mia!

The cannoli! Eh, lasagna!

Hey, pasta fagioli!
A spicy meatball!

Dude, it's time
to pimp your sister.

Oh, yeah! Man, I can't believe...

Yo, man,
my sister right in there.

Come pimp that bitch out!

Pimp my Sister

Wait! W-wait!
Wait! I have homework.

Hey, ladies!

We gonna pimp you out!

Girl, you got serious
librarian hair.

You ever see a ho
shop at The Gap?

You got the posture
of a lamp post, girl.

We got to give you
some prosti-tude.

If we go with a leopard
print t*nk top...

that's a little too
southeast Newark.

So we're going with more
of a cheetah pattern.

Garter belts ain't just
for weddings, honey child.

You can tuck a w*apon in there.

At first,
I was pretty nervous...

but these hos
are all about class.

Sometimes a john
will want to do that with you...

and that'll cost $ .

This one... $ .

And this one
gonna require a credit card.

- Again!
- Don't play me!

- Again!
- Don't play me!

All right, Alex. Now, we ain't
had a lot to work with here...

but, yo,
check out your new sister!

Let me see.

Oh, damn!

Oh, you put the heels...
Oh, you got this garter...

Damn!

Oh! Check out the fish nets!
Oh, damn!

It's the new me...

not just on the outside,
but on the inside, too.

Go and make some money.

You just got to spread your...

It's so hard when they leave.
It's so hard.

Hey, y'all! Hey, yo, man!

Yo, come get a piece
of my sister!

Who wants to get up
in my sister's ass?

Oh, hello, Mr. Johnson.

Hello, Amy.
Do you take credit cards?

We'll be dead soon.

Ow. I'm telling my dad.

Welcome to The Surreal Life.

Come on, come on.

Get down.

Let's take a look
at what The Surreal Life g*ng...

has been up to recently.

We were really excited
to participate...

in the Iditarod dogsled race...

till one of the dogs
fell in love with Manny Mo.

Help! The dog...

Let's see what's in store for
our Surreal Life folks today.

We have to take
the one ring...

and destroy it
in the fires of Mount Doom.

Wait, something's coming!

There's no way I'm doing this.

Somebody better get me a cab
'cause I'm going...

We must helps them.

They's our friend.

They hates Manny Mo.

No, they loves us.

If they dies, we go get pizza.

Yep, yep, come and get it,
oh, yeah

Back to the fires
that forged you, evil trinket!

Corey, you saved me, bro.

You can burn in hell.
I just want the ring.

Corey, no!

Oh, bro!

Oh, friends,
remember me fondly...

in Stand By Me
and in The Lost Boys...

only the first half.

Wait, and Friday the th
was pretty good...

Next time on The Surreal Life...

Well, Ron and I had to check out
a suspicious meteor.

Boo!

You didn't think
it'd be that easy, did you?

Chocolate chicken eggs
for everyone!

One, two, three, four!

We love it when
our players score!

Five, six, seven, eight!

Double entendres
are really great!

I want to go to Dallas,
but I don't have any money.

We're such good friends...

we'll have sex with people
for money and give it to you.

Yeah!

Oh, best friends forever!

We're soaking wet from washing
your car, Mr. Thrustbone.

Is there anything else
we can do for you?

I'll give you $
for all of us to go crazy.

Wow!

$ in dollars is a lot.

Yeah!

Yeah! Oh, you look just like
my daughter's friends.

Oh, yeah.

Watch out for the icing.

Dang it.

We raised $ !

That's exactly enough
to get to Dallas.

Yay! I'm finally in Dallas.

Oh, I wonder how much
it is to get back.

I'm stepping
down the ladder and...

Uh-oh!

Uh-oh, I'm falling.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm falling on the moon.

Yes, I'm...

falling on the moon.

OK, uh,
hailing frequencies are open.

Hurray!

Is he gonna do it again?

Wrong, your reservations are.

For us to listen
to Ray Griffiths...

the actor who played
the power droid in Episode IV...

this is room is scheduled.

I reserved room A- to watch
the Star Trek blooper reel...

where DeForest Kelley
grabs Majel Barrett's chest.

The Prime Directive demands
that you leave the premises.

The Prime Directive sucks.

You suck, you nerf herder!

Ooh, Seven of Nine.

I heard one William Shatner...

is going to do a guest spot
on Enterprise...

and not as Kirk!

You take that back!

Gentlemen, gentlemen,
we could discuss this logically.

Excuse me, I'm Ray Griffiths.

Oh, my face!

You kids stop. No fighting.

Oh! Get off me. Ow.

My neck, my spine.
Oh, no, not like this.

Excuse me,
but are you gentlemen...

engaged in a game of LARP...
live action role-playing?

I happen to be
an old hand at it.

Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt!

Fire! Fire!

Excuse me, that's impolite.

Stop!

Oh, that's it!

All systems ready.

Don't worry, Mr. Schumacher,
we'll get you out of here.

Joel Schumacher
is history's greatest monster.

- Get him!
- Let's get him!

Got him!

I got him!

Keep it coming.

OK, got it. Got it.

Get another one.
Get me another one.

Shame on you.
You've all forgotten...

the true meaning of fandom.

We should take joy in our loves,
not argue about them.

Son of a bitch!