05x23 - The Hooffields and McColts

Episode transcripts for the TV show "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic". Aired: October 2010 to October 2019.*
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05x23 - The Hooffields and McColts

Post by bunniefuu »

Does everypony have their
copy of Wuthering Hooves?

Hooray!

I love Furry Friends' Book Club!

Now, let's discuss the theme of nature

as it applies to Hoofcliff's love.

Did somepony leave a light on?

Oh, it's me.

Oh!

It's me!

We'll continue this discussion
when I get back!

You're here!

Isn't this exciting?!

Oh! You were called, too!

Thank goodness.

I feel so much better
going with a friend.

I was about to come
and get you,

but then I got distracted.

Oh.

Ever since the
map called us,

I've been doing a
ton of research.

Testing out potential
friendship problems.

Diversifying my solution portfolio.

Ever since the map called us?

But that happened five minutes ago.

I know!
But I wanna be one hundred percent prepared!

I mean, I'm the Princess of Friendship.

How would it look if I couldn't
solve a friendship problem?

Oh, I'm so lucky I'm
being sent with you.

Speaking of which,
where're we going?

The Smokey Mountains!

Ooh, I've never been there before.

Neither have I. And there isn't

a lot of information on them.

All I could find was this.

The Smokey Mountains
harbor the most

beautiful valley in all of Equestria,

between its two majestic
mountain peaks.

That's gorgeous.
And where there's nature,

there's a ton of animal friends!

I can't wait to get started!

I'm a little nervous since
that's all I could find.

I usually like to be
a bit more prepared.

You seem pretty prepared to me.

Are those for us?

Yup! I've prepared our things.

Snacks, books, blankets, books.

You said "books" twice.

There are a lot of books.

Ooh.

Whadaya think our friendship
problem's gonna be?

I don't know.
But I'm sure we'll figure it out.

Do you think it'll be a
problem about lying?

I'm sure we'll find out
when we get there.

You're right.

Ooh, could it be
probably two friends

just randomly deciding to
do something together,

but they forget the third friend,

and the third friend feels left out?

Or where one friend tells another

friend's secret after they
ask them not to?

We'll know very, very soon.

Since we're almost there.

Here. Lemme get that.

Thank you.

Sorry I've been a little
skiddly-bopty-boo.

I just can't believe this
is finally happening!

What in Equestria is happening?

It's nothing like your book
said it would be!

Oh, boy.
I'm feeling very unprepared.

Where do we even start?

Maybe by figuring out where

the flying pumpkins
are coming from?

Ready...aim...fire!!

Um, hi.
Hello. Excuse us, but what are you doing?

We're pumpkinin' our neighbors!

Yes, but, um, why are you...
pumpkining your neighbors?

Well, because the McColts
are just plain rotten.

Hey, wait a tick.

Who are you two?!

Yer not spies for the
McColts, are ya?

I am Twilight Sparkle,
the Princess of Friendship.

And I'm here to solve
your friendship problem.

I'm Fluttershy, and...um...
I'm here, too.

Ma Hooffield.
Pleased to meet ya,

but yer wastin' yer time.

We don't have a friendship problem.

We have...a McColt problem.

And there's absolutely
no friendship there.

Well, maybe there could
be if we figure out

what the McColts did to
make you so mad.

Oh, they've done
so many things.

Why just today,
they sh*t pebbles

at our farmhouse an' wrecked it.

See, we're not very
good at buildin' so,

all it took was a little pebble.

But still!

Oh, no!

I know what to do.
We're gonna talk

with these McColts and hear
their side of the story.

Once we have all the facts,

we can put an end to this
using reason and rationale.

Good plan.
That's why she's the Princess.

In the meantime, could you please
call off the pumpkining?

Oh, all right.

Thanks.

C'mon, Fluttershy.

State yer business!

Don't even bother.

They're probably spies
for the Hooffields.

Hey, wait!
You're an Alicorn!

I thought just the three
Princesses were Alicorns.

There are four alicorn
princesses in Equestria now.

I am Twilight Sparkle,
the Princess of Friendship.

And I'm Fluttershy.

We have a new princess?

When did that happen?

And how did the Hooffields

come by a princess spy?

We are not spies!

Why does everypony
assume we're spies?

Because we don't get
a lot of visitors.

I'm Big Daddy McColt.

You caught us at a weird time.

We're in the middle of
a giant feud with our...

TERRIBLE NEIGHBORS!!!

Well, actually, that's why we're here.

To solve your problem
with the Hooffields.

So you're here to help
us get rid of 'em.

No! That's not what
I meant at all!

Well, if you ain't fer us,
yer agin us.

We are not on anypony's side.

We're here to help you
become friends again.

Well, that's gon' be hard.

I don't believe we've ever been

friends with the Hooffields!

But you could be!

They're just really upset
you ruined their farmhouse.

Wait a hog-wogglin' minute!

We only did that
because the Hooffields

pulled a pin out of our wagon wheel!

A whole week's worth of food
rollin' down the mountain.

Us McColts are
mighty fine builders

but we don't know the
first thing about farmin'.

We have to travel a ways
away to buy our food.

Now, we'll be stuck
eatin' the pumpkins

the Hooffields launched at us.

Pumpkin bread, pumpkin soup,

pumpkin quesadillas,

pumpkin paella, pumpkin cheese,

pumpkin pie, pumpkin fritatas...

Actually, that all sounds pretty good.

But it'll get old!

Have you tried meeting
at a neutral location,

talking about your problems,

and really listening to each other?

What?! No!
They'd sooner launch their dinners

at us than listen to us.

Well, they'll listen to me.

I'm an impartial third party.

Attention, Hooffields and McColts,

I'm not on anypony's side,

but I can see you're
both wasting time

and resources on being mean to each other.

Ponies are supposed to help
each other and be kind.

So let's stop this senseless fighting!

There. That should do it.

Ready to go home, Fluttershy?

I'd love to, but if we solved
the problem already,

shouldn't our cutie marks
be glowing again ?

Oh, yeah.
They should be glowing any minute now...

Or not.

So much for Potential
Friendship Solution # .

I guess we should find
out why the Hooffields

are launching tomatoes now.

One at a time, Greenhoof.

If you smoosh them
tomaters in the slingshot,

they won't break on the McColts.

What are you doing?
I asked you to stop fighting.

Oh, is that what you
were hollerin' about?

We thought the McColts
rubbed ya the wrong way.

So we tomatered them for ya.

My mistake.

Stop the tomater slingshots!

Reload the tomater slingshots!

We're gonna paint
their mountaintop red!

Well, that didn't work.

I was so sure it would.

It was a good plan.
We need to think of another one.

And soon.

This fight is really affecting
the animals around here.

Not to worry. I'll just, uh...

find the root of the problem
and work from there.

Pardon us, Ma, but do you
remember what started

this whole feud in the first place?

They know what they did.

They know what they did!

I'm starting to think neither of you

know what either of you have done.

Sure, we do.
Them Hooffields did us

a grave injustice to us some
time ago fer some reason.

Hear, hear!

Okay.
Backup plan to the backup plan.

Maybe we can find some common

ground that you can bond over.

What do you do when
you're not fighting?

That's easy. Gettin' ready to fight.

What do you hope to
get out of fighting?

The satisfaction of winnin'!

Of winning what?

The fight, of course!

To prove our family is the best!

The best at what?

Winnin'! Haven't you been list'nin'?!

So the only thing they
have in common is

that they both want to win a fight,

and neither of them know what it's over.

How do I end this feud if

I don't know what it's about?

Ooh!
Maybe somepony just needs to say they're sorry.


That's a great idea.
And Friendship Solution # .

But we can move it up.

I'm so glad you agreed to do this.

This apology cake will go a long way

to making amends between you two.

Which part of my argument
changed your mind?

The part where I said the benefits

of friendship outweigh
the cost of w*r,

or the part where I said forgiveness

is an investment in happiness.

Yeah, yeah. All of it.

Wait. Are you even listening to me?

Who goes there?!

It's Ma Hooffield.

Hooffield alert!
Arm the cannons!

WIth an apology cake!

Did you say, "cake"? As in...

cake?

Consider it a gesture of
goodwill from us to you.

Ah haven't had cake in ages.

Open the gates!

Oh, it's such a bee-youtiful cake.

Think of this as more
than just a cake.

It's the first step in the
long road to forgiveness.

Nothing says "let's be friends"
like a cake that says,

Let's be friends!
(I wrote that in icing on the top.)

For glory!

McColts!
Assume Delta Force formation!

Ready... aim... fire!

Ma Hooffield, you planted
ponies in that cake?!

Yeah! Ha ha! Wait.

Were you serious about apologizin'?

Why in Equestria would we do that?

We didn't do anythin' wrong!

What're you talkin' about?!

You've done so
many things wrong!

Not as many as you!

Um, if you could just
not yell so much,

or maybe stop saying
words altogether...

Whoa! Twilight?

Um, Twilight?
We should probably get back there.

I mean, if you need a
break that's fine,

but I really can't do
this without you.

I don't know if we can
do this at all.

Even if I make things right,

they're just gonna fight again.

Hey, little fellas.

Oh that's okay,
you can come out!

What was that?

Oh, you poor things!

There isn't enough food
here for you!

Brrr, and you're freezing!

I'm gonna take you
all home with me

and give you all hot cocoas.

How do you feel about book clubs?

I don't get it.
This was supposed to be

the most beautiful valley
in all of Equestria.

What happened?

What's that? Oh! Uh huh...

Twilight!

They know what happened here!

What?

Stop! You have to listen to me!

Everypony freeze!

Fluttershy!
You have to tell them!

It's a lot harder to freeze an army

of ponies than just six of them!

Before you keep fighting,

there is something you should know!

Long ago, there were two best friends,

Grub Hooffield and Piles McColt.

When they found the valley
between the Smokey Mountains,

they knew it was something special!

So they made a promise to
each other to protect

and preserve the valley for
all its adorable furry inhabitants.

But they disagreed on
how to go about it.

Grub wanted to start by
planting crops so that

everypony would have
something to eat,

but Piles thought it
would be better

to start by building
a shelter,

to protect them against
the cold and wind.

The two ponies were unable
to come to an understanding,

so Piles went ahead and
built a shelter anyway,

exactly where Grub was
going to start his farm!

Grub was upset,
so he tore down Piles'

shelter so he could plant his crops!

They kept fighting back and forth,

until it turned into a feud!

The valley suffered from
the constant destruction,

until finally the Hooffields and McColts

moved to separate mountains.

Even then, the valley,
and all the animals in it,

continued to be
caught in the crossfire.

You see?

By fighting,
you're destroying the very thing

that brought you here
in the first place!

So it's time you both put your
differences aside and come together,

if not for yourselves,

then for the sake of these
cute and cuddly guys!

Aw, shucks, we never meant
to hurt any little critters.

Yeah, we're sorry!

They say they accept your apology!

Uh, Princess?
You can unfreeze us now.

Oh, right!

Ma Hooffield?
We promise we won't fight you no more.

Us too, except we promise
not to fight you.

I suppose it doesn't matter

who's right; we're both wrong.

That's one thing we can agree on.

This is wonderful!
I am so proud of you two!

Aw, thanks, Princess,

though I would just like to
point out that I was,

the, uh, first to admit I was wrong.

That may be but I promised
not to fight first.

That counts more!

Oh yeah?!

Oh, alright.
We don't have to speak animal

to know what y'all were sayin'.

Truce?

Truce.

Woohoo, ain't that a pretty sight?!

Sure is! The McColts are gonna
help us rebuild our homes!

Good ones this time.

And the Hooffields are gonna
help us grow some crops!

Not pumpkins.

Thanks for teachin'
us that friendship

is so much better than
winnin' a silly argument.

Yay!
I told you we'd figure it out.

We did, and we didn't need

my friendship portfolio to do it.

We just needed each other!

So, what do you think
will happen next?

We've all been called
by the map now!

Oof!
I'm sure we'll find out when we get home...

What if it summons all six
of us to another place?

What about a pony
we weren't expecting?

What if it wants us to solve
other kinds of problems,

like quantum physics,

or why the apple doesn't
fall far from the tree?
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