- [engine revs]
- [tires squeal]
[dissonant piano chords play]
[screams]
[chattering]
[bottles clink]
[film projector whirring]
[roars]
[siren wailing]
[police radio chatter]
Call me a waiter, because I'm 'bout
to put it all on the table, all right?
Now, did I lie to Captain tonight?
Yes, I did.
Did I also lie to you?
- Mm-hmm.
- Also yes.
But you are my booski wooski.
You my everything.
No, no, no. Don't you--
Don't you do that to me right now.
I am this close to cracking it.
You are gonna lose your badge.
[Danner] Okay, the system is messed up.
- Okay, I'm lost. What's happening?
- That's why I'm doing this.
Oh, uh, Danner's not supposed
to be on this case.
- They're sending somebody else.
- That's crazy.
That's good for you, right?
That means she can't arrest you.
- I don't think that's how it works.
- I think it is, 'cause...
- Hey.
- ...she's not supposed to be here.
Hey, Zoë.
- Uh, how'd it go in there?
- What are you guys listening to?
Lis-- We're listening to Xavier's music.
- Mmm.
- Kinda remembering-him-by-it kinda thing.
- Ooh.
- Wait. Don't tell me...
- [beatboxes]
- ...you actually like Xavier's music?
- God, no.
- Oh, no.
Have you heard the love ballads?
Have you heard "p*ssy Hole"?
- Oh, that's lovely.
- The title kinda turned me off.
Have you ever heard his song "Orgasm"?
- No. How's that go?
- Ooh.
- How does it go?
- Yeah.
[groans]
♪ Oh, no, another hit's coming ♪
♪ Uh-uh, uh-oh, where'd it go? ♪
The man, he makes hits, right?
- About that, uh-- that mix CD...
- Oh.
I should have given it to you.
Yeah, I didn't have the guts.
I wish I'd known.
You know, maybe things
would have been different.
Maybe.
Hey, thanks for sticking up
for me in there.
- You know, that was really sweet.
- What?
How would you know that
I stuck up for you?
- Bec-- Uh, because--
- Because, um-- How did--
- How did he hear?
- We were listening.
- [groans]
- How?
When I came in there before,
I put my phone in there,
and I called Yasper so we're able
to listen to everything.
- Look at these.
- [Zoë] Oh, my God.
- That's gutsy.
- [chuckles] I guess.
So, they're talking right now,
and you can hear them in there?
Mm-hmm. Do you wanna listen in?
- Yeah. Could I?
- Yeah, okay.
Uh, Yasper, go and give Zoë
your headphones now.
I don't want to.
It's getting to, like, a good spot.
Can you give her the headphones
so that Zoë and I can listen together?
Maybe you should listen to mine.
- What you think about that? That cool?
- He did it on his own.
I believe this belongs in your earhole.
- Thank you.
- [Aniq speaks indistinctly]
- You're afraid of my mouth germs?
- Your saliva.
- That's where most of the germs live.
- Well...
- [Yasper] Enjoy.
- Thank you.
- [Culp] I can't...
- Oh, my God.
What are they saying?
- They're still fighting.
- Can you give a sec?
- I can't even hear from that side.
- Just one second, pal.
Aldrin Germain? The "ringer"?
- The detective they're bringing from LA?
- Yeah?
I know him.
So what? Everybody knows him.
He solved the La Brea Tar Pits murders.
They're making a limited series out of it.
A-list cast. Clearly an awards play.
No!
I mean I know him.
We were in police academy together,
down in LA.
[sighs]
Before I learned how screwed-up it all is.
What are you doing?
I never thought I'd be a cop.
Don't tell your story now.
But my dad was a cop.
His dad was a cop.
But I was Daddy's little girl.
And he didn't want me to be a cop.
He said it wasn't a girl's job.
And when my dad died, everything changed.
And I decided I wanted to help people
the way my dad did.
[Danner] So I joined up.
[g*nshots]
And my dad was right.
It's a real boys' club.
- Right behind you. Right behind you.
- Okay. I know you're behind me.
[man]
Okay. All right, let's go. Go, go, go.
[Danner]
One way or another, I kept up just fine.
[panting] Over. Under.
Over. [grunts]
Under.
Under.
Under.
[Danner] Germain was the golden boy.
Fast, smart, a real climber. Literally.
[grunts] Dang it.
Come on, Mad Dog.
You got this. Get up that wall.
- Mad Dog?
- Come on.
[panting] Okay.
- [grunts]
- All right.
[grunts]
Yeah. You all right?
- Yeah, thanks.
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Thanks for having my back.
- Oh, yeah.
Well, you know, we all gotta finish
the whole thing under time,
or else they make us run it again, so...
Right.
[Germain]
Listen. Three doors down you can get a--
Hey, Danner. Nice form on those push-ups.
Man, you dropped to your knees. I saw you.
Night, gentlemen.
Hey, hey, come on.
Come have a drink with us.
- Really?
- Yeah, we need a designated driver.
Ah, damn, I forgot to put a car seat
in my car for you, Little Bill.
- [gasps]
- Sorry.
[cadet laughs]
Honor. Ethics. Commitment.
[Danner]
It wasn't easy, but I finally made it.
[captain] And remember, what you did
yesterday is not nearly as important
as what you will do today.
Because the people out there
depend on you.
Don't let them down.
[Danner] I was a part of something.
I was finally gonna help people.
[Danner] So, you say the package
was stolen from the front porch?
Yeah, I ordered it online.
It was a microwave egg pod cooker.
Cooks eggs perfectly.
Does all the work for you.
- I have one myself. [laughs]
- [chuckles]
- When did this happen?
- Uh, two days ago.
We'll do everything
that we can to locate it.
And I'm just telling you, honey,
when you get that in your life,
it is going to step
your brunch game up times ten.
Everybody's gonna be jealous of
your deviled eggs.
Lady, let's be honest,
we're not gonna find your egg ball.
- Pod cooker.
- Thank you, Danner.
Look, packages get stolen.
Unless we catch the guy in the act,
not really much we can do.
- You know, it wasn't a guy.
- What's that?
I know it was a girl. I caught her
with my new doorbell camera.
Oh, neat.
Can I see?
Oh, is that green hair?
Ma'am, do you think
we can get a copy of this video?
Oh, I posted it online right away.
The whole world has it.
Mm-hmm.
I don't understand. Why didn't you, uh,
call us when it happened?
- I didn't think you'd do anything.
- [scoffs]
But then I found out
I need a police report
in order to get them to send me a new one.
- Right.
- [radio crackles]
[female dispatcher]
. . Viewridge Drive perimeter.
Did she just say ?
Oh, yeah. Homicide.
- Whoa.
- Holy shit.
Well, listen, Viewridge Drive is
just the next street over.
Okay. I'm sorry for the cursing.
Oh, I don't give a f*ck.
Let's go. Come on. What are you doing?
- I-- I'm coming.
- [imitating g*nshots]
This much police presence,
must be somebody famous.
But not that famous.
Uh, maybe a writer?
Danner. Kleyes. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.
I need you to guard the perimeter.
No one in or out.
We get gawkers, send 'em packing.
- [sighs]
- Yes, sir, we're on it.
But whose house is this?
Pretty sure that's not information
you need to know to do your job.
But let me guess, guy on the porch,
okay, husband of the deceased?
Perimeter. Now.
Some fancy pants gets k*lled
in the middle of the day
in a low-crime neighborhood.
Nine times out of ten, it's a domestic.
Mm-hmm. Husband comes home,
catches his wife cheating,
gets nuts with a rake
or a swimming pool thing
or something like that.
But here, the husband isn't under arrest.
Sitting on the porch crying.
Doesn't add up.
You say something?
Why don't we split up
and really work the perimeter?
Mmm. Yeah, it's a good idea.
[singsongy] Homicide.
Yeah.
This has to be the dumbest-- I don't know
why they partnered me with him.
Tricia! Trish! Hey, girl.
Heya, Danner. It's been a minute.
[Danner] Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, they let you
out of the lab now, huh?
So, uh, what's the ?
I hear it's not a domestic.
No, husband's the one who found her.
Wife's name is Uma something.
Husband's Vaughn. He's a TV writer.
I knew it.
Whole thing happened at the front door.
They got it on the doorbell cam.
Girl in a blue hoodie is
on the front porch stealing a package.
Can't see her face, of course.
Wife opens the door, then bam.
Blue hoodie? Did she have green hair?
How'd you know that?
Holy shit.
All right, let's talk to the housekeeper,
see if she's seen that blue hoodie before.
You know what, let's run down their
close contacts just for shits and gigs.
- Detective Germain, sir?
- Jesus.
- Sorry for interrupting.
- Yeah, what is it, Officer?
Oh, Mad Dog Danner.
[chuckles]
Still on the beat I see.
- Definitely on the road to detective.
- Mmm.
Not as fast a road as you've been on.
You just went "bloop."
Shot right up there.
Yeah, you know what?
It's a closed crime scene, so...
But I have some information
I think might be helpful to you.
Okay, Mad Dog. [sighs]
Dazzle me.
I've been working on some package thefts
going on in the neighborhood.
And I have footage here of
a microwave egg pod cooker being stolen.
They cook the eggs perfectly every time.
That's from a doorbell cam at a house
about two blocks away from here.
- Where did you get this?
- Online. The homeowner posted it.
Blue hoodie. Green hair.
Could be this person
that we're looking for.
Well, I'm impressed, Danner. A lot of guys
around here don't really give a shit.
Just wanna swagger around,
as if a g*n and a badge is gonna make up
for them having a tiny pecker.
Look at you, hmm?
Conning your way onto a crime scene.
Going the extra mile.
Mad dogging it. I like that.
People depend on us,
and I don't wanna let 'em down.
Besides, I don't have a pecker.
I'm just gonna have to take
your word for it then.
Check this out.
- Wha-What? What? [screams]
- Think that might be your girl?
Well, blue hoodie, green hair.
Looks white to me.
I mean, right-- right to me.
Well, who knows? Maybe we can get lucky
and pull one of the license plate tags
from your video.
- Mm-hmm.
- Nice work, Danner.
Pros will take it from here.
Think I can get my phone back?
Uh, Detective, I need my phone.
Detective?
You know I can't come in here
without the blue "foot-y" things.
I need the blue bootee--
Oh, you ain't gonna put your bootees on?
You not following protocol?
Well, then I won't follow protocol.
[Culp] Danner, what does
this have to do with this case tonight?
- How is this relevant?
- This is so much tension.
- It totally relates. Just let me finish.
- We don't have time.
- [Danner] This is important.
- What are they saying?
- [shushes]
- Yas, we'll tell you.
We'll-- We'll tell you.
- I'll be over here.
- [Danner] Anyways...
Why the hell are we in Echo Park?
This is way out of our area.
I ran the partial license plate
on that car in the video.
- Got an address.
- Didn't Germain say he'd handle it?
I know. I wanna help out.
Mad dogging it.
Oh, shit.
Oh! Ow, ow, ow.
- That's hot. That's so hot.
- That's the car.
That's the car right there. [laughs]
[chatter on police radio]
Hold on. There's latte on my g*n.
There's latte.
Have you ever shot that thing?
Not in the field, no.
But I did get pretty drunk
at my cousin's wedding
and unloaded a clip into
a pile of decorative pillows.
Needless to say,
the bride was not thrilled. [chuckles]
Are you sure you're not from Florida, man?
Arizona.
It's like the Florida of the West.
Do it.
[sighs]
LAPD.
Is this your car, sir?
Uh...
[bong shatters]
Go, go, go, go, go!
They're in an alley.
Headed towards the alley.
[on radio] Copy that. I'm in the car.
Freeze! Slow down! You better stop.
I could do this all day.
I used to run cross-country.
[siren blares]
Freeze! Freeze!
- Drop your weapons and put your hands up.
- Against the fence. Hands in the air.
The-- The pot. I have a prescription.
Girl, don't nobody give
no damn about no pot.
- You have any weapons?
- No.
- [grunting]
- Don't mess with me, pal.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, partner.
Come on now.
We just trying to talk to 'em.
[scoffs] Men, right? They get the chasing,
they start wanting to fight
like a grizzly bear.
What are you doing walking around
with these marijuana bongs?
- What's your name?
- Willow.
Is that from the movie or the tree?
Um, movie, actually.
My mom really liked it for some reason.
Val Kilmer was fine as hell in that movie.
What was his character's name?
Uh, Madmartigan?
Yes. And he helped Willow.
Some people call me Mad Dog.
And I'm here to help you.
Put your hands down.
"Valerie." Who's that? Your girlfriend?
My mom.
You two must be really close, huh?
Well, a-actually, she passed last year.
I'm sorry to hear that. It can be tough.
So tell me, what have you
been doing in Studio City?
[sighs] Um, shit. Uh, look,
my dad and I don't talk anymore.
It's on me to pay for my sister
to go to school.
She's, like, a genius or something.
So I've been doing food deliveries.
And, yeah, I-I did steal the package
off the porch a couple days ago,
but it was just a dumb egg cooker.
Wait, wait. Hold up.
Did you call it dumb? It is not dumb.
I just didn't think the cops would care.
It's a victimless crime.
You know what isn't a victimless crime?
m*rder.
m*rder? Wha-- What are you talking about?
Look at her in there. Just pouting.
- Terrified.
- [chuckles]
Like an adorable castoff
from an X-Men movie.
[chuckles] It's a good get, Danner.
Thanks.
But I don't know. She says she
wasn't in Studio City yesterday.
And I kinda believe her.
Ah, we got her on camera.
This thing's a slam dunk.
Yeah, but there's something
that's just not right about it.
- Hey, you wanna help me question her?
- Really? You wanna add me to the case?
No, this is still my case.
But, uh, I just figured
I'd show you a thing or two,
stuff they don't show you in training.
You wanna be a detective, right?
Do Black women tie their hair up at night?
Uh, I--
You should know the answer to this.
- And it is a yes.
- The answer is yes.
Follow my lead.
I didn't sell the pod cooker thing yet.
Can I just give it back?
Look, I don't care about
some stolen packages, okay?
What I do care about
is the wife of the producer of one of
the best g*dd*mn cop shows I've ever seen,
whose only crime was opening the door
while you were stealing her package.
- So you k*lled her.
- I-I didn't k*ll her.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I swear.
[sighs] Well, then why did we find
your prints at the scene?
No! No, no, no.
That's impossible. [chuckles]
No, no. There's pictures on Instagram.
Uh, my boyfriend and I went to this, like,
stupid art thing in Eagle Rock.
It's nowhere near Studio City.
Check it, @willowywave.
I don't like social media.
Brings out the worst in people.
I like Facebook though.
Connects you to people from the past,
who thought you might've been
a dork in high school.
- Please!
- Oh, found it.
Yeah, that's a big old painting on a wall.
And look at that. Wha-- What is that?
A Pegasus or a unicorn?
- [Willow] Pegacorn.
- Okay, a pegacorn.
But you know what is crazy is, um,
she's wearing a red hoodie,
not a blue one.
See? I didn't do it.
I'm telling you the truth.
What? You think there's some other
green-haired girl wearing a blue hoodie
that just happened to be in the area?
Yeah, but it seems
kind of weird, you know.
Like, driving all the way to Studio City,
change your clothes, k*ll somebody,
drive all the way back,
change your clothes--
Mad Dog!
- Stop.
- You all right?
You know, why don't you
go find us some coffees?
Well, I already had some coffee,
like, a hour ago--
Well, I would love one.
Yes, sir.
Look, I don't think
you meant to k*ll anybody, okay?
You were high, feeling anxious,
she surprised you, you lashed out.
If you admit that, this whole thing
will go a lot easier for ya.
- [Willow scoffs]
- Danner?
I was just wondering if you wanted
sugar or cream or...
Full-fat goat milk. Dusting of cocoa.
Damn, that sounds like
you want me to go to a coffee shop.
I was talking about--
You said coffee, like...
All right, then.
[Danner] Something was off.
And not just his foo-foo-ass coffee order.
[Danner] Fingerprints.
[sighs]
["Guilty All The Same" playing softly]
I knew it.
How you gonna leave fingerprints
when you're wearing gloves, hmm?
But why wear gloves that time,
and not the day before?
Zoom in here.
Kleyes, does this woman look
surprised or confused?
[music continues]
Okay.
Well, I think she looks confused
like she might have recognized the k*ller.
This might be a copycat.
Yep, let me look at this other video.
It's probably a copycat.
You talking to me?
New Linkin Park. It freaking rips.
[grunts]
[Danner] While my partner focused on
his air-drumming skills,
I went looking for answers.
Sorry to bother you
during such a, uh, difficult time.
No. No, it's, uh, quite all right.
There's always time for law enforcement.
I-I'm-- I'm a huge supporter of--
of what you guys do.
I'm sure you're aware
of my television show, Marshall Law?
Yeah. Thursdays,
: p.m. after Burden of Ruth.
Terrible time slot. Comedies are at : .
Adventures at : ,
but they don't listen.
Um, Detective Germain said
that you've made an arrest?
Yes, a suspect has been apprehended.
Mm-hmm.
Oh. That's such a relief.
You can imagine this whole thing has been
very overwhelming for me.
Hopefully, this will bring
a little closure, you know? [sighs]
Um, I was just trying to, you know,
tie up some loose ends.
I'm the type that likes to, like,
cross the t's, dot the i's.
I even dot the j's--
- How can I help you?
- [clears throat]
I was wondering, um,
do you know if there was anyone
that had a grudge against your wife?
I thought it was the package thief.
- The woman with the green hair?
- Well, that's what everybody's thinking.
I just want to be extra sure
it's not a copycat.
Not someone who may have saw
the video uploaded to the Internet
and, uh, thought, "Hey. I could do that."
And pretend to be a package thief.
Are you saying that
the case is still open?
All cases are open
until there's a conviction.
- Am I a suspect in my wife's m*rder?
- That is not exactly what I--
I know how this thing goes.
I write Marshall Law.
This is in pretty much every episode.
I told him, I was on set
at the time of the m*rder.
I was making my television show,
coaxing some actor out of his trailer,
'cause he was complaining
about his call time.
Well, my wife died, Gary.
I was with you instead of at home!
- I need you to bring it down.
- Hours later--
- You're at ten. Need to be down at five.
- I will calm down. I discovered my wife...
- No! No! No.
- ...dead in the dining room.
I'm not saying that
you are a suspect, okay?
And here's why. The k*ller wore gloves.
They didn't want their fingerprints
to be found anywhere, all right?
You live here,
your fingerprints are everywhere.
Why would you wear gloves? Hmm?
I just wanna know.
Is there anyone who would've
wanted your wife gone?
[doorbell rings]
Hello? Vaughn?
[sighs]
[woman] Hi.
- Hey. Hey.
- I'm so sorry. Mmm.
[Vaughn] Okay.
- Mmm. Okay.
- [clears throat]
- Is this a bad time?
- No, no. Uh, please.
Uh, this is Tatiana. She's the
costumer on Marshall Law.
Nice dress.
As well as, uh, Waikiki Medical, uh,
and Fire, most recently. [chuckles]
- [chuckles]
- This is, uh, Detective--
Uh, actually, I'm not a detective yet.
Uh, I'm Officer Danner.
But Detective Germain sent you?
You know, uh, I ought to
let you guys get to it.
I just wanna say I'm sorry for your loss.
Thank you so much.
Yeah, uh...
- I really do like that dress.
- Oh, thanks.
Our rules say you can't touch me,
Bishop Marshall.
Well, you should know by now
that I play by my own rules.
[grunts] Get off me, puerco.
No puerco for me.
But if you wanna make a frittata,
you're gonna have to bust some huevos.
[Marshall grunts]
[Danner] The next day,
I visited the set of Marshall Law,
the show that was
basically everything wrong
with how TV portrays police and crime
in a corny-ass -minute package.
- [man coughing]
- [Marshall] Cough up the details.
[man] Okay, okay. I'll talk.
You better be telling me the truth, ese.
Otherwise, I'm gonna alert my backup,
and they're gonna give you
a piece of the action.
Uh, sorry.
Uh, I'm not supposed to be here.
I'm looking for Tatiana.
And also, this is not
how law enforcement works at all.
It's not like that.
You're really not doing a good job.
Is there a rewrite
somebody didn't tell me about?
- [woman] Cut.
- Hey, what are you doing here?
Could I get you over there
with the other background, please?
[chuckles] I'm not a--
- I'm actually looking for Tatiana--
- Tatiana. Got it.
Your costume looks just fine.
Well, this is not a costume.
This is my uniform.
Oh. Uh-oh. Real cop. Let's go. Come on.
I love that. Love method acting.
- Ma'am, can you remove your hand?
- Hey, I love extras. Let's go.
Okay. Did you just tap my ass?
[gasps] Oh, problem with your costume?
No. Why does everybody think
I'm one of these actors?
Oh, wait. Uh, she's a real cop.
Good to see you.
Is this about Vaughn's wife? So sad.
Well, I'm sorry to be disturbing
you guys at work,
but I just wanted to know,
where were you guys
around lunchtime on Tuesday?
- We all eat under the tent.
- I--
- Mmm.
- Tuesday is chili day.
- Mmm, chili day? [chuckles]
- Mm-hmm.
I bet it's interesting
in here after lunch.
But Tatiana's a vegan,
so she always makes a salad.
Oh, so you-- you don't sit under the tent
with everyone else?
Uh, no, no. I was.
Giant salad, under the tent.
Anyways, so you guys
eat lunch together? Every day?
The whole crew? Even Vaughn?
Was Vaughn there too?
No. Vaughn always takes a nap
in his trailer during lunch.
Glad he got some rest, though.
'Cause a few hours later...
Poor thing. Probably hasn't slept since.
Ah, these are some nice hoodies here.
Does he, um, come in here often?
No, we usually just show him pics.
He did come in on Monday, remember?
To borrow some stuff for a costume
for his nephew or something.
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, what did he take?
Uh, why? Is he a suspect?
I'm just being thorough, that's all.
You know what?
I will let you guys get back
to reinforcing that cultural stereotypes
that y'all do.
Okay. All right. Y'all have a good day.
I love your hair.
It kind of reminds me of Wendy's.
You know, from the burger place?
- I get that all the time.
- Yeah, it's so cute.
Hey.
What the hell do you think you're doing
questioning the husband of the deceased?
Showing initiative.
- Mad dogging it.
- No. It's not f*cking cute this time.
Listen, we just announced
the arrest of the k*ller.
The stoner punk chick.
Willow?
No, no, no, no. Look, I found something.
I think she's innocent.
She is a thief.
She is a drug user.
She did it, end of story.
She's willing to take a deal right now,
rather than risk the jail time.
And you're gonna f*ck up
my clearance record with this crap.
Plus, Vaughn was super impressed with me
and wants to make me
a consultant on the show.
So don't mess it all up!
But don't you wanna make sure
that you got the right person
that you're putting in jail?
I thought you wanted to be
a homicide detective.
'Cause shit like this
is not gonna get you there.
You're looking for a,
uh, homicide detective?
I don't know you.
I don't-- Cool.
You know why I call you Mad Dog?
Because you need to be put down.
[chuckles] Oh, man.
"You need to be put down." [chuckles]
- You need to shut the f*ck up.
- Okay.
Danner. I hear you're not
being a team player.
What? No. No, I'm just
trying to do what's right.
In this department,
we need to have each other's backs.
[woman on phone]
You think he was having an affair?
Mama, there was a look
between him and that costume designer.
I know that look.
Why are you chasing this?
What do you think
you're gonna get out of it?
I don't know.
But Germain thinks he is Bishop Marshall.
Always right, you know.
Breaking all the rules. Taking out punks.
It's way more complicated than that.
[chuckles]
You've been an officer six years,
and they haven't made you a detective yet.
Maybe your dad was right.
You could go back to teaching.
Ma, I gotta go. Bye.
[sighs]
This guy's not gonna crack.
Chief, take a walk around the block.
I'll get him to talk.
He can't see you.
He knows I'm here.
This show sucks.
[Danner] I just couldn't let it go.
Uh, excuse me.
Are you Willow Landy's attorney?
Can I help you?
Yes. I have something
I'd like to talk to you about.
Check out this video.
[Danner] So, I told him everything I knew.
Wait, so you think--
Vaughn saw the video,
borrowed a costume from his set,
then he probably added
some socks or something to his chest.
Pretended he was the package thief.
He hid his face from the camera,
- k*lled his wife...
- [screams]
...because she found out about his affair.
He wore the same costume,
but he added gloves.
Not to hide fingerprints,
but because he didn't have
a tattoo on the back of his hand.
Now, see, Willow has "Valerie" in
that first video on the back of her hand.
That's her mom's name. Valerie.
Look, I-- I'm sorry--
I know it sounds crazy, but please
don't give up on this girl. Okay?
Talk to some of his workers on his show.
He borrowed a costume for his nephew.
He don't have no nephews.
He got one niece
that is pretty burly looking
but not a nephew.
Fine. I'll look into it.
Thanks. But please don't tell anybody
you heard it from me.
- I don't even know you.
- Great.
He's totally gonna tell everyone.
[Danner] And he did.
They reassigned me to the records room.
No chance for advancement.
Oopsie-daisy.
Thanks for being a team player, sport.
[imitates dog barking]
[snickers]
[Danner] But it was worth it
because Willow's case was dismissed.
Pink. I like it.
My lawyer told me
you're the reason I got out.
That guy cannot keep a secret.
[chuckles] Yeah.
No, seriously. Thank you.
You're the only one who listened to me.
Anyway, I want you to know I'm giving
the egg pod cooker back. I promise.
[scoffs] Keep it.
Mrs. Pattendole already got a new one.
Besides, you deserve a good deviled egg.
Cool. I've really never had one.
- You never had a deviled egg?
- No. [chuckles]
Girl, let me tell you something.
They are delicious.
You get that deviled egg,
you cut the boiled egg in half, right?
- Okay.
- Then you scoop out the yellow part.
You put that in a bowl, you stir that up,
and you add your seasonings and spices.
You know, garlic, salt, a little paprika...
You sprinkle that on top, and then
I like to get the oil of bell pepper.
- Then you wanna put some olives--
- Danner!
What happened to Vaughn?
Did he go to jail?
No. Not enough evidence.
I-- I would have quit,
but I couldn't let that f*cking game win,
you know what I'm saying?
So I moved up here for a fresh start.
No more baggage, new department.
- So I have--
- Okay. Okay, okay, okay.
So your-- So your point is what,
that Aniq is innocent?
- I don't know.
- You don't know? Oh!
But what I do know
is if we don't solve this case
before Germain gets here,
Aniq is going down
whether he did it or not.
- Just like he tried to do with Willow.
- No.
I actually think you've gone soft on Aniq
because you think of him as
some sort of kindred spirit or whatever.
- But he's been playing you the whole time.
- Maybe.
I knew it. Your boy's been listening in
illegally without consent.
He's been trying to hear
what everyone else said
so he could get his alibi straight.
One second. Hey, Aniq.
Yeah, it's Culp. Ya busted.
Oh, no.
- What? What, what, what, what?
- Oh, no. I'm screwed.
What happened? What happened?
- Aniq, hey. Look.
- I can't-- [groans]
- I still don't think you did it.
- Well, thank you very much.
Maybe you can visit me when I'm in prison.
I don't know if they'll let you bring--
- a little file in there or something--
- Okay. Come on.
You gotta tell me what happened.
You can't just leave. Just like it's--
Don't think like that, okay?
Let's just breathe.
You and Chelsea were on the stairs.
You'd have seen someone go up before me.
It just doesn't add up.
Okay. Remember how you said that the thing
you like the most about escape rooms
is that they make you feel lost
and hopeless and-- and stuck?
But eventually,
everyone finds their way through.
You said that.
- [sighs]
- [Walt] So sweet.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Hey.
You know, I've--
I've never seen a sunrise.
The view. [chuckles]
We're in the middle of, uh, some--
Thank you.
[grunts]
Okay. Aniq, I will admit,
has done some things
that make him seem not innocent at all.
- But--
- Danner, Danner.
When you hear the clomping of hooves,
think horses, not zebras.
Is this a riddle? 'Cause you know
I'm good at riddles.
Usually, the simplest
answer is the right one.
And in this case, it's Aniq.
But if you hear the clomping
of hooves in Tanzania,
nine times out of ten, it's zebras.
Oh, my God.
- Your theories are so convoluted.
- Or they could be breaking out of the zoo.
Did you see Madagascar with Chris Rock?
They had all them animals--
You think the TV producer dressed up
as a woman
and acted like a package thief
to k*ll his wife?
To do that, he would have needed her
to open the door
at the exact same moment
that he was about to steal the package.
- It doesn't make sense, honey.
- Hmm.
- It does make sense.
- What?
- That's it!
- What's it? What?
I know who k*lled Xavier!
Oh, and how they did it.
- I solved it, Culp. I solved it.
- What? Who?
Okay, we just gotta tie up a few
loose ends like the wig and Jennifer .
There are no time for loose ends, okay?
You either solved it, or you didn't.
You know, there's one person
that I didn't interview
that probably has the answers that I need.
[clicks fingers]
Mommy!
- Maggie? What are you doing here?
- Twice in one night.
Okay, I-- I can explain everything.
Hey, honey. Can you hum your quiet song?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- [humming]
- You f*cking ball sack.
[muffled]
You are a ' " turd in a leather jacket!
01x07 - Danner
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American m*rder mystery about a high school reunion's afterparty that ends in a death, everyone is a suspect.
American m*rder mystery about a high school reunion's afterparty that ends in a death, everyone is a suspect.