- Let's go!
Let's go!
Let's go, baby.
Come on.
I can't hear you guys!
They ain't ready for us!
They ain't ready for us!
Whoo!
- Yeah!
- Let's go, baby, let's go!
- Mmm. There's just something
about a man covered in paint.
Mmm.
Dude, are you studying
at a tailgate?
- Yeah, but only
because I'm failing econ.
- Well, maybe you'd be
doing better
if you didn't spend
so much time
railing Leighton's brother.
Okay.
- Bela, Bela, Bela!
You just spilled beer
all over my textbook.
- Oh, my God, I'm so sorry!
- Ugh.
And Nico's bed
doesn't squeak like that.
It thuds, like,
bam, bam, bam, bam.
- Hello, ladies.
- Hi, Leighton.
- Hi, Leighton.
- Wait, why'd you stop talking
when I showed up?
Is it--Is it my glasses?
I know they're ugly,
but my f*cking mom
forgot to send my contacts.
- No!
It's just surprising
that you came.
- Well, I'm not really jazzed
to watch soccer,
but I did want to come
and support Whitney.
- You like Whitney?
- Yes, I like Whitney.
She's our roommate.
- Do you like me?
- I guess. Stop asking me
if I like people.
Everyone's fine.
Anyway, I can't stay long.
I have to plan a surprise party
for my brother's birthday.
- Oh, my God.
I didn't know Nico's birthday
was coming up.
That's so cool.
- Yeah, I always plan
his party.
And I have some
really good surprises
in store this time.
- It'd be really great for me
if I could get
the "Catullan" writers in
for an exclusive event.
- Yeah, I'm sure
my brother would love
to have eight nerdy writers
hanging around.
No plus ones.
- But we are invited.
- Sure.
- Yes!
- Wait, they're pulling in!
- Oh, my God, it's Whitney!
Hey, girl!
- Whitney!
You came?
- Of course, we did.
We love you!
- Also, we ran out of mixers.
Can we have some
of your team's Gatorade?
- No!
- No worries!
We'll see you inside!
- Whoo!
- And the score is tied
two to two
as we enter overtime.
- When I say Es, you say Sex!
- Es!
- Sex!
- Es!
- Sex!
- Es!
- Sex!
- Es!
- Sex!
- Es!
- Sex!
- Es!
- Sex!
Whoo!
- Hey, do either of you
ever get this thing
where you feel like
you have to pee
but nothing comes out?
- Bitch, you have a UTI.
- Oh, my God, no!
- Did you forget to pee
after sex?
- Are you supposed to do that?
- Someone didn't read
their vag*na's manual.
- Wait, are you having sex
with someone?
Who?
- Me?
Kimberly Finkle?
Having casual sex?
That's a laugh.
- There are a lot
of other ways to get a UTI.
You probably sat
on a wet library chair
for too long.
- Right, that's probably it.
Anyway, these cold bleachers
are really helping
numb the area.
- Just a reminder,
my friend Maya
is visiting this week,
so if we could talk less
about infected genitals--
- No promises.
- Something's happening!
Run, bitch!
Run!
- Go! Go!
- Get your girl, get your girl,
get your girl!
- Oh, go Whitney!
Go Whitney! Go!
- Oh!
- Ooh.
Yes!
- Ugh!
Oh, don't take her hand,
Whitney!
Slap her in the f*cking mouth!
- Yellow card number 12.
Penalty kick for Essex.
- Hey, no pressure.
But if you make this sh*t,
we go to the NCAA tournament.
Make the damn sh*t.
You got this!
- Yeah.
- All right, here we go.
Ready?
- You got this!
- Come on, Whitney!
- ♪ Let's dream ourselves
away from here...♪
- You got this, Whitney!
♪ ♪
- Yeah!
- Golden goal scored
by number 21, Whitney Chase.
Essex wins!
- Yeah!
♪ ♪
- ♪ Don't stop
until it's gone ♪
♪ Pick a point ♪
♪ On the horizon ♪
- It is 11 a.m..
That is
100 community service hours.
I am out of here.
- We knew you'd be excited,
so Ginger made you cupcakes!
- They're allergen free!
But full of love.
And carob chips.
- Thank you.
- Do you want to stay
for the rest
of today's meeting?
- Oh, not at all, actually,
but thank you.
- Okay.
- Alicia, Ginger, Tova,
I will cherish
all of the lessons
you have taught me.
And to the rest of you--
I think one of you
is named Rebecca.
Oh, both of you.
- Don't forget
your cupcakes.
- You know what, Ginger?
I will take one.
- Oh.
- I'm free, b*tches!
Whoo!
♪ ♪
- Wow. One small step
for a South Asian woman,
on giant leap--
- New writer alert!
- Carla?
What are you doing here?
Did you get tapped too?
- Yeah.
I worked really flippin' hard
on my submission.
I guess they really
flippin' liked it.
- Well, cool.
It's so fun that you're here.
- Ladies first.
♪ ♪
- Holy crap,
this is incredible.
Wow.
- Check it out!
This is gonna be
me and you one day.
Best friends and coeditors.
- I'm gonna take a seat.
- Me too.
- All right, come on, guys.
Let's get started.
First off, congratulations
to our new "Catullan" writers.
- All right, yeah.
- I'm sure we are witnessing
the start
of some very successful
comedy careers.
- Until you have kids
and turn into complacent hacks.
- It's a tradition
for new writers
to submit a piece
on their first day.
And, in an age-old practice
dating back to 2013,
the best piece will be featured
on our Instagram.
- Pieces are due at midnight.
- Maybe it'd be cool
if we wrote something together.
- Oh, I'm sure
that's not allowed.
- Evangeline, Bela and I
want to co-write a piece.
Is that cool?
- We don't have to.
Really, it's--
- Sure.
Uh, Bela and Carla
will be writing one together.
You can work in groups.
- Shaweet.
Very nice. my wife.
Have you seen "Borat"?
- Obviously.
- I'm sure it's so good.
- ♪ Never thought that I
could take these steps ♪
♪ But I kept the focus
on myself...♪
- Your first UTI.
I remember mine well.
I had just conned my way
into a birthright trip
into Israel--
- Thanks, Lila,
but I'm trying to ignore it.
- A UTI is a rite of passage.
You gotta wear it like a crown.
An uncomfortable,
scratchy crown
that you can't wait
to take off.
- Hey, guys,
I seriously have no idea
what to get Nico
for his birthday,
and I'm stressing.
- Well, I think
it's pretty obvious.
You gotta get him a sexy gift.
- Oh, like silky boxers.
- No, like, something erotic.
Like a cock ring.
- A what?
- She's wrong.
Get Nico something nice,
but slightly impersonal,
so he doesn't think
you're trying too hard.
Maybe a nice journal.
- A journal?
Hot guys don't journal.
They just let
their thoughts fade away.
It's what makes them hot.
- I just want to get him
something small and meaningful,
but something I know
he'll like.
- As long as you pair it
with a nasty handwritten card.
Something like,
"Happy Birthday, Nico,
I love that thick d*ck.
Regards, Kimberly."
Boom, you're welcome.
Shakespeare.
- Hey. So you going
to this party tomorrow too?
- Yeah, are you?
- Nah, I already have plans.
Hanging out with Darius
for a bit,
and then meeting up with you
when you leave the party early?
Hmm.
- Sound good?
- I might be available
for that.
- Cool.
So, you guys are gonna work
or...something?
- I am.
- I'm sick, I have a UTI.
- Well, uh, good luck
with that.
- Thank you.
- Poor baby girl.
Drink up.
- Hey, you wanted to see me?
- Yep, come on in.
- Let me guess.
After the other night,
companies are reaching out
about endorsing me?
I'll hold out for Adidas.
- Well, it has come
to my attention
that Coach Dalton
has been having
an inappropriate
sexual relationship
with a player.
- What?
That's crazy. And gross.
- Well, I have to ask.
I mean, do you know
anything about this, or--
- Me?
No.
I can't even imagine it.
Dalton's so old
he's still on Facebook.
Okay. Well, look.
If you hear anything,
let me know.
Um, obviously we have to take
this very seriously.
- Of course.
I'll think on it,
and let you know
if anything comes to mind.
Um, I assume
you already talked
to Becky?
Not implying anything,
but I did see them share
a power bar once.
- You are not the first person
to mention that.
Huh. All right, well,
that's very helpful.
Thank you.
You can go.
- Oh, right.
♪ ♪
- ♪ Remember to call me
♪ When you're feeling blue ♪
- Hi, you've reached Dalton.
Please leave a message,
and I'll call you back.
- sh*t.
- ♪ Go on and speak
your truth ♪
- Oh, my God.
I just thought
about what our piece should be.
- Cool, what is it?
- What if we write a piece
about what TV characters
say when they orgasm?
- I don't think we want
people to picture
Fred Flintstone getting off.
- Right, it's cringey.
I'll think of something else.
- No rush.
Sometimes the best ideas
take a while to find.
- You know you're like
the only person
at "The Catullan"
who's nice to me.
- I'm sure that'll change
with time.
- Well, Eric's not that bad.
- Eric?
The only time
I've seen Eric smile
was when I tripped on a cord.
Well, he's better than Ryan.
- Hey, I have an idea
for a piece.
What about a Tinder profile
for the John Essex statue.
- Ryan showed me his d*ck.
In a bad way.
- Are you serious?
- He called me into his office
to talk about piece formatting
and then he took it out.
And it's all I can think about
whenever I'm at "The Catullan."
- Are you gonna tell anyone?
- I don't know.
Everybody already thinks
I'm so weird.
Has he ever done
anything like that to you?
- Ryan?
No. Not at all.
- Yeah.
Forget I said anything.
Let's write your funny idea.
Yeah?
- Yeah.
- This is
for my brother's 21st birthday.
I will need
a crepe station option
that is both sweet and savory.
Well, then I will await
your manager's call
at this number.
- Oh, are you serving me
some rich mommy party planner?
I'm very into that.
- Um, hey, what is with
your neighbor
with the red hair?
She was staring at me
while I was waiting at the
door.
- Oh, she's my best friend.
I'm kidding.
I don't talk to my neighbors.
Do you think I'm insane?
Dude, planning a party
in Vermont is challenging.
No one has taste.
- Yeah, about that.
Am I, like, invited
to this, or--
- Oh, I figured
you wouldn't want to go.
And don't you think
you coming as my plus one
would be, like,
this whole thing?
- There it is.
- What?
- You don't want me there
because you're worried
people will figure you out.
- Hey, it is a birthday party
for my brother
who you have met, like, once.
Okay, can we please not make
this into a bigger thing
than it has to be?
- It's--
It's not about the party.
I just--I just want to know
that you and me can exist
Outside of this one room.
- We can.
- Okay?
- Cool.
Uh, well, this got weird.
I'm gonna go.
- Are--
- I'm gonna text you later.
Okay?
- Sure.
- ♪ You say you can't hold
anything back ♪
♪ It's a habit ♪
♪ You say what's on your
mind, mm ♪
♪ Whatever's on your mind ♪
♪ Mm ♪
- Willow, I am freaking out.
- Yeah, I would be too.
This sh*t is crazy.
- Have you talked to Dalton?
- No, he's not answering
any of my calls or texts.
Both on my phone
or on this burner
I just bought.
- You bought a burner?
Whitney, what the f*ck?
You're going full-blown
"Homeland."
- What was I supposed to do?
I can't have this come out.
Black senator's daughter
has inappropriate relationship
with coach?
That gets aired on Fox news.
- Okay, you're not wrong.
Like, I would watch that.
But I think you can chill.
I talked to Coach Woods,
and she thinks
Dalton was sleeping with Jena.
- Jena?
Why would she think that?
- Because I told her
I thought it was Jena.
She didn't mention you once.
- Did you find out
where this is coming from?
- Apparently Dalton's wife
called her
when she found a box of condoms
in his car.
And a Google search on his iPad
that said "Is it illegal
for a coach
to sleep with a player?"
- God, he's such
a f*cking idiot!
- Well, you weren't f*cking him
for his amazing brain.
But you just need to lay low
and this will blow over.
There's nothing pointing
to you.
Wow! Thank you so much
for helping me
with my chemistry homework.
I understand
covalent bonds now.
- Relax, she already knows.
- Oh.
- The head coach found out
Dalton was sleeping
with someone on the team.
- Oh, sh*t.
Do they know it's you?
- No, you're the only
two people who do
and I trust you both,
slash, will m*rder you
if you say anything.
- Okay, but having witnessed
some white-collar crime
over the years, if I were you,
I'd reset my phone
to factory settings
and wipe my hard drive.
- She doesn't need to do that.
- I already did both.
- Smart girl.
- So, you rich people
are just naturally good
at covering sh*t up,
aren't you?
- Yes.
- Yeah.
- ♪ Got a little bit
of sunshine ♪
♪ I'm not always
such a downer, doll ♪
♪ Kinda ended in a bro mine ♪
♪ Ever since I let
the good times roll...♪
- How's the studying going?
- Good. Productive.
I like it.
Have you...earned a break?
I want you on top.
'Cause my arms are
kind of wrecked right now.
Okay.
But can I ask you
something first?
- What's up?
- You play guitar.
Hypothetically speaking,
would a gift card
to, like, a guitar website
be a birthday gift
you'd be excited about?
- You don't have to
get me a gift.
- Are you kidding?
Gift-giving's
in the Finkle DNA.
Did you not see my mom
slinging around purse hooks
at Parents Weekend?
- Your mom's cute.
But, seriously,
you don't have to get me
a gift.
- Okay, let's do it.
But let's be quick,
'cause I have a lot of work
I have to catch up on.
- Hey, Siri, set me a timer
for 45 seconds.
- ♪ I'm all in white ♪
♪ 'Cause I have soul ♪
♪ Where you go live ♪
♪ I wanted you so-o-o ♪
♪ But for a while ♪
♪ I'm on a roll ♪
♪ Well, love in those eyes ♪
♪ And that's all I know ♪
- Are you just now
getting home?
Wait, is this a walk of shame?
So you are sleeping
with someone.
- I mean,
is it a walk of shame
if I stayed up all night
in the library
hooking up with my textbook?
Like, blehhh.
- Wow, we are so different.
Are you excited
for the party tonight?
- I'm so excited.
I bought a new outfit for it.
And these foot pad things
that make fancy shoes
more comfy.
Okay. I'm gonna grab my towel
to shower to wake myself up.
- Okay.
Oh, uh, when you go
in the bathroom,
my friend Maya is in there.
The one who's visiting?
- Oh, fun!
My friend Kelsey from home
wants to visit at some point.
She's like really into anime.
- I look forward
to discussing that with her.
- So what was your idea?
- So, basically there's--
- Okay, everyone.
I have two announcements.
The first is for everybody.
Jeff, use spellcheck.
- Okay.
- Secondly, Carla has decided
to quit.
- What?
- Yeah.
- Wait, why would she quit?
- Who knows?
Unlike every other conversation
I've had with her,
she didn't go into detail.
- Anyway, now's the moment
you've all been waiting for.
The announcement
of which new writer's piece
will be featured
on our Instagram.
- Which is an account followed
by multiple
Emmy-nominated writers.
- And the winner is...
The John Essex statue's
Tinder profile,
written by Bela Malhotra!
- Wow.
Thank you.
But I actually co-wrote
that piece with Carla.
- She said in her email
it was mostly you,
so enjoy that sole credit.
All right, we're done here.
Good job, guys.
- Bela! Oh, my gosh.
So proud of you.
- Hey, nice work.
- Holy hell, are you Maya?
You're gorgeous.
I'm Kimberly.
I'm one
of Leighton's roommates.
- Nice to meet you, Kimberly.
- Seriously, you smell
like a fancy spa.
Sorry, to double compliment.
I didn't sleep much last night
and my brain
isn't fully working yet.
- Ooh, sounds like
you had a fun night.
Get it, girl.
- I did get it. And then some.
I have a hickey on my boob.
- My boyfriend gave me
one of those
when we first started dating.
- What's with these guys?
- Right?
Hey, I need to go help Leighton
set up for this party,
but I'll see you there?
- Totally.
- ♪ Yeah, let me see you
go to town ♪
♪ Go down go down go down ♪
♪ Yeah yeah,
if you're down, boy ♪
♪ Really down, baby let me
watch you go to town ♪
♪ It's your one chance,
baby, never or now ♪
♪ Yeah-eah-eah ♪
♪ Let me see you go to town,
baby, go to town ♪
♪ Oh, yeah, baby, let me
watch you go to town ♪
♪ It's your one chance, baby,
never or now ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Go down go down go down ♪
♪ Yeah, let me see you
go to town ♪
♪ Yeah, go down go down
go down ♪
♪ Yeah, let me see you
go to town ♪
♪ Go down go down go down,
yeah ♪
♪ Let me see you
go to town, yeah ♪
♪ Go down go down go down,
yeah ♪
♪ Yeah yeah ♪
♪ Go to town with it,
and she shave it all off ♪
♪ Charlie Brown with it
lookin' all around ♪
♪ All the other girls
sound fishy...♪
- Hey! Are you ready to black
out with your rack out
or whatever it is
you're always saying to us?
- Yeah, let's do it.
Let's crunk out
with our junk out.
- Yeah!
- I'm wearing underwear
that's so sexy,
it's insane.
Also, it kind of hurts.
♪ ♪
- Those are a lot
of gifts.
The only thing my friends
got me for my last birthday
was a Chipotle gift card.
- Holy sh*t, did someone
buy him a snowboard?
- I got him sour candy.
Because I know he likes
sour candy.
- That's really sweet.
- I need a drink, STAT.
- Hell yes.
Let's get sh*ts.
- Oh, I need to start
with a glass of water.
I have to take my UTI medicine,
and the pill is so huge.
- Hey, they just pulled up.
- Everyone, quiet!
He's here.
Okay, everyone, shut up.
Be quiet.
Come on, he's coming. Shh!
- Are we almost there?
This blindfold
does not smell good.
Surprise!
- Oh, sh*t!
This is amazing!
Leighton, this is so cool
of you.
Happy birthday, bro!
Ooh, and I have
one more surprise for you.
- Surprise, babe!
- Maya! You're...here.
- I flew in from Barcelona
for you.
Happy birthday!
Ooh!
- Kimberly!
- Hey!
- Did you guys know?
- Oh, my God, no!
I would have told you.
- Yeah, I didn't know either.
I'm so sorry.
- Kimberly.
Can we talk for a minute?
- Dude, I cannot believe you!
I'm Bela, by the way.
We've met a few times.
I enjoy your parties and hope
to keep coming to them.
But on a personal level,
I think you suck!
- Yeah, you're
a prep school douchebag
who thinks he can get away
with anything he wants.
- Can I talk to Kimberly
alone for a minute?
- It's okay.
You guys go back inside.
- We're watching you, bro.
- Sleazeball.
Thanks again for the invite.
Sleazeball!
- I can explain.
- Nico, this is so f*cked up.
- Don't be like that.
- Don't be like what?
Heartbroken that the first guy
I met in college
has a secret girlfriend?
- Look, Maya's
been studying abroad.
She wasn't even supposed
to be back until January.
- Oh, so you were gonna
tell me,
you were just gonna wait
several more months, cool.
- Look, it got out of hand.
I don't know what to say.
- Well, I do.
f*ck you!
I wasted two months on you.
My grades are
in the f*cking trash,
and I have a UTI.
And it's f*cking burning
down there right now.
Okay? I'm done.
And now I'm about to cry, too.
f*ck.
- Kimberly, please.
- ♪ Time to hit the road ♪
♪ Go, I finally go ♪
♪ Set it up and knock it
down ♪
♪ 'Cause that's just how
I roll ♪
♪ All 'bout the flow...♪
- Are you sure you want
to be here right now?
- Definitely.
I want to stay here
and ruin his night
and make him think
that I might say something
to his actual girlfriend.
- Damn, girl.
- Okay, actually
on second thought,
I think I'm gonna go.
But I don't want to make this
some big dramatic exit,
so, please,
the two of you stay.
- ♪ Shout it up
just for fun ♪
♪ Was it all for me ♪
♪ You just see, move your feet
time to let go ♪
♪ Oh yeah ♪
♪ Time to let go ♪
♪ You just see...♪
- What the f*ck?
- Do you think my boobs
have gotten bigger
since the beginning of college?
They feel bigger.
- Hey, Whit.
Hey, can I talk to you
for a sec?
In private?
- Um, would you mind
getting us drinks?
- Gladly.
- Dude, there's trouble.
Apparently our bus driver
told Coach Woods
that he saw Dalton kissing
a player.
- Okay?
- A Black player.
And we're the only two
Black girls on the team.
- f*ck!
- I think you need to talk
to Coach, like, now.
Just come clean,
and hope for the best.
- Okay, yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
- I gotta go do this.
- Mm-hmm.
- ♪ You have to lead
like this ♪
♪ Lead lead ♪
♪ Lead ♪
♪ You have to lead like this ♪
♪ ♪
- One sec.
- Oh, cool.
Dude, you okay?
- Yeah, why do you ask?
- Because you're staring
at your phone like a psycho.
- Leighton, I think
I f*cked up
and I don't know how to fix it.
- Can I interest you ladies
in some sh*ts?
- Dude, f*ck off.
What happened?
- You know that guy Ryan
who showed me p*rn?
He kind of got me alone
the other day
and then pushed his d*ck
up against my back.
- Oh, my God.
- I laughed and brushed it off.
But then I found out
that he did it
to this other girl too,
and when she told me about it,
I lied to her and stayed quiet.
And I think I silenced her.
- It's okay.
Okay?
- Did you just hug me?
- I already regret doing that.
Come on, let's go. Come on.
- ♪ You've got another
think coming ♪
♪ Thinking it's gonna be
easy ♪
♪ I'm so high ♪
♪ Why sit down...♪
- Hi, are you--
- Her wife?
Yes, I am.
Gert, you've got a visitor.
- Coach, I promise you,
it is totally over.
We ended things weeks ago,
so if there's any way
we could just forget
about this--
- Whitney--
- Coach, please.
My mom is a public figure.
And if this gets out...
My stories don't go away
the way other people's do.
- Chase.
I already gave my statement.
All right?
I told them
I couldn't give a name.
It's none of their business.
You're 18.
You don't need this
following you around
the rest of your life.
- Thank you.
Thank you so much.
- Canaan.
We're leaving.
Are you coming with or not?
- Yeah, let's go.
- You really gotta cut down
on that screen time, though.
'Cause you're literally
always on that thing.
It's kind of sick.
- Hey.
- Thank you for coming.
- Yeah, of course.
Hey, guys. My name is Alicia.
And I know
that this is very scary,
but you're totally safe here.
And no matter what you say,
I'm your ally.
Okay? I'm your ally.
- ♪ Mountains crave,
so they say ♪
♪ They say your name ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Floods in the bay ♪
♪ It's a shame,
it's a shame ♪
♪ The pain turn to rain ♪
♪ Ain't calming down,
will it calm down...♪
- Hey, Whit.
- All right, ladies.
Gather up.
I'm Coach Hanson,
the women's ice hockey coach.
Now, I can't go into details,
but Coach Woods
and Coach Dalton
have been dismissed.
- What?
- I'll be leading you
through the rest
of the tournament.
Now, can someone explain to me
how offsides works in soccer?
- Anyone?
- ♪ Her heart was b*ating ♪
♪ Through her chest ♪
♪ Hesitating to pull
the trigger, she wants to ♪
♪ Like a b*llet
through the shadows ♪
♪ Contemplating the sense
of the shadow ♪
♪ She never got
to tell you that ♪
♪ Instead she wore
the chains ♪
♪ She never acted
like it's all in vain ♪
♪ When everybody else ♪
♪ Is only playing
by the rules ♪
♪ She always wanted
to keep her cool ♪
♪ She always wanted to keep
her cool ♪
♪ ♪
♪ She's burning ♪
♪ Through the shadows ♪
♪ She's burning
She's burning ♪
♪ Through the shadows,
through the shadows ♪
♪ Her mind was racing
through the desert ♪
- Go to bed.
01x08 - The Surprise Party
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Four roommates navigate their new freedom on the prestigious campus of Essex College.
Four roommates navigate their new freedom on the prestigious campus of Essex College.