03x06 - Fish

[bunniefuu]

[PRAYING INDISTINCTLY]

[WHIMPERING, GROANING]

[WHIMPERING, YELLS]

- [GASPS]
- [GASPS, SIGHS]

- Dorothy, are you okay?
- [SIGHS]

Are you okay? It's nearly noon.

It is?

You don't look well.

No, I'm fine. I'm sorry.
I'll get dressed.

No, no. You relax.

It's Sunday.

I just...

I'm proud of you.

You ventured out and guess what?

Nothing bad happened.

Things are finally starting
to look up. [CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES]

[SEAN] "The green frogs danced
in the pond that night,

while the black sheep cried
in the pale moonlight".

That's the black sheep, not me.

Oh, you think it's funny, huh?

[PHONE BUZZING]

[SIGHS]

Oh, come on.

Okay. Okay.

- This is Sean.
- [JERICHO CRYING]

I'm flattered, but, uh,
it's just not a good time.

Yeah.

- [CRYING CONTINUES]
- Okay.

Right, you too.

- Okay. Thank you, bye.
- [SHUSHES]

It's okay.

Sean? Your son was literally shrieking.

I was on, literally, for two seconds.

- With whom?
- Just work stuff.

What work stuff?

Who's "Taylor Producer Lady"?

She's from Gourmet Gauntlet.

They want you to guest judge?

[GASPS] This is huge.

What?

They want me to host the next season.

They're gonna bring it to Philly.

Oh. Sean!

This is huge!

You said that already.

Well, do you get how huge it is?

What is with all these secrets lately?

I just didn't wanna worry you. That's...

Why would I worry about your success?

Well, I'm not gonna do it.
For the family.

Well, you have to do it.

What, is this with the whole God thing?

Nice, Dorothy.

[DOROTHY] Leanne?

Leanne!

[SIGHS] Thank you. You're a lifesaver.

And can you grab the
petunias by the gate?

- [SCRAPING]
- [DIGGING]

So anyway, can you believe
he wants to say no?

Sean struggles with self-esteem.

- He's always seemed confident to me.
- [SCOFFS] That's cute.

He's faking it, darling.

It's fine, I'm used to pushing him.

Well, that should about do it.

[CLICKS TONGUE] Oh.

Right.

- What are you doing?
- Oh.

You gotta tear it up a little,
or it won't grow.

They're just like us,
prettiest after a little work.

Plucking and shaving
and dieting and squats.

[CHUCKLES]

I'll bet this new minister lady has him

convinced that ambition isn't virtuous.

What new minister lady?

Oh. He didn't tell you
either. Interesting.

Sean has been having an affair.

- Wh...
- With Jesus.

No, I didn't know that.

[SCOFFS] He's always
been so suggestible.

Well, I invited her to dinner tomorrow.

Friends close, but enemies closer.

But don't tell him I said that.

- Here.
- Oh.

Aw, this is fun. Hanging
out, telling secrets.

Girl time. [CHUCKLES]

- [GRUNTS, SIGHS]
- [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

[LEANNE] That doesn't look very safe.

It'll do for now.

So Dorothy told me about
the job. That's great.

There is no job.

I'm not gonna do it. 'Cause
those things come with a cost.

It'll be different this
time. I'll be here.

That's very kind, Leanne.

But pride comes before the fall.

That doesn't sound like you.

Then why bother building bridges?

No, it won't hold both of...

- [GASPS]
- What the f*ck, Leanne?

I'm so sorry.

[PRAYS INDISTINCTLY]

[GASPS]

[SIGHS] Trust me. This is scarier.

Well, hopefully you'll get used to it.

What, to my husband being
some closet altar boy?

I picked the most progressive church.

Still.

Is Leanne being weird?

- When is Leanne not being weird?
- [CHUCKLES] Yeah.

Be nice to Nancy when
she comes to dinner.

Me? I'm just a little lamb.

[CHUCKLES] Uh-uh, you're the wolf.

Oh.

Have you accepted that offer yet?

Oh, Dorothy, will you drop it, please?

What is going on with you?

Random opportunities like this
don't just come along.

You have to seize this with both hands.

Don't let our son know you

as the guy who was too scared to try.

- Where's your hat?
- [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

Where's your hat? Yes.

[GASPS] How cute are we?

- Very cute.
- You're coming.

Yes.

We need to keep practicing feeling safe.

Spring has sprung. We don't wanna
miss all the gorgeous rebirth.

I'm cold.

Uh... You're crazy. The sun is out.

[SIGHS]

Fine.

Let's take a great
big breath of fresh air.

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

I can literally hear you not breathing.

[SIGHS]

Leanne.

[GRUNTING, CRYING]

- No, no. [YELLS]
- [GRUNTS]

We know what you've done.
We know what you are.

- [GRUNTING, SCREAMS]
- [GRUNTS]

[SNIFFLING, BREATHES SHAKILY]

You're safe now. Act like it.

[GASPS]

- Is she home?
- Who?

Leanne.

[BREATHES SHAKILY] No.

- Can you check?
- [JERICHO CRIES]

No, I cannot check.

And you're on private property.

[JERICHO CRYING]

[SHUSHES]

- Hey.
- Hey.

You look different. Your hair?

Yes. Curls.

No Veera?

- No Veera.
- Why?

Who knows. I'm not a damn mind reader.

Here's some, uh,
no-point bubbles for tonight.

Is the God lady here?

No. But I look forward to meeting her.

[JULIAN] Is that jealousy?

Is she stepping on your holy turf?

[CHUCKLES] Tonight is gonna be fun.

[LAUNDRY MACHINE CHIMES]

[GROANS]

I must do everything myself.

[SEAN] What are you doing?

I'm not eating. I'm priming.

Hmm.

Text from "Taylor Producer Lady".
That sounds shady as f*ck.

You and your sister. Boundaries.

Yeah. Overrated.

You can't do this.

- Who told you?
- Who do you think?

She wants me to convince you
to climb every f*cking mountain.

Sean. No.

I'm not gonna do it!

- But why not?
- What do you mean, "Why not?"

She can't even f*cking
remember the first time.

This is gonna totally wake her up
from her Sleeping Beauty routine.

Psych f*cking .

I wish we could just move on.

Yeah. "I wish I was a little bit
taller, I wish I was a baller".

Just keep a lid on this, okay?

Where's Dorothy anyway?

[GRUNTS]

[DOROTHY GASPS]

Oh, my God.

[GASPS]

Hello.

Hello?

[WIND HOWLING]

Hi, I'm Nancy.

Sean's minister from Liberty Unitarian.

You must be Leanne.

Who told you that?

Sean did.

Oh, excuse my getup.

I came from service, and
it doubles as winter-wear.

[WIND HOWLS]

[GASPS]

Are they in the kitchen?

You should wait in here with me.

Oh, okay.

Nancy, when did you get here?

Why didn't you come and get us?

- You were busy.
- Oh, it's fine. I was early.

Thank you. That's so thoughtful.

Oh, Nancy. Welcome to our home.

Leanne, may I have a word
with you for a sec?

You two catch up. We'll be right back.

[DOOR CLOSES]

What's going on?

What do you mean?

I saw on the security playback.

Why didn't you tell us?

- You've been watching me?
- No. Well, yes, this once.

I just didn't want you to worry.

Why is everyone so worried
about me worrying?

It's my job to worry.

I saw people chase you
through our house.

Did they hurt you?

Were they with the cult?

Oh, my God.

This is insanity.

They are insane. It has been months.

Is that homeless boy one of them?

Oh, and what if you'd
had Jericho with you?

- It's okay, Dorothy.
- It is not okay.

You're just in shock.

And, oh, my God, I made
you go to the park where...

You must be terrified, you poor thing.

No.

I'm not scared anymore.

I'm just not ready yet.

Not ready for what?

[KNOCKING]

[JULIAN] You left me out here with
Sean and the God lady by myself.

Some help, please?

[SOFTLY] Oh, God.

[SEAN] The fish is an important symbol
of fertility and transformation

for many people throughout time.

Tonight, I have prepared several
fish dishes for us to explore.

More stripped down than my usual fare.

No molecular gastronomy.
No unusual flavor pairings.

Just fish in traditional styles.

Simple, clean, and to the point.

Much like this speech.

This first dish is Hikarimono.
It means luminous body.

Nancy, why don't you
take the first bite?

I'm vegan. I thought you knew.

[SEAN] Well, that's okay.
Uh, that's great.

Let me... I'm gonna whip
you up something right now.

I'll be right back. [CHUCKLES]

So, Nancy, I have been reading
all about Unitarian Universalism.

I am you, you. You are you, you.

We are you, you. Great, great, great.

We're looking for the truth.
Uh-huh, all the time.

[CHUCKLES] Wow. Retro. I like it.

Just can't get enough
of anything "you, you".

I think that's enough of "you, you".

Julian. Atheist. Nihilist.

Beliefs are grounding,
whatever they are.

Oh, my God. I didn't introduce you two.

I'm so sorry. Oh...

Nancy, do tell us your background.
Do you have a PhD in theology?

I have a master's in divinity.

A master's. So much
quicker. Good for you.

Excuse me, I'll be right back.

Dorothy has a master's
in WASP Linguistics.

And you just got roasted.

[DOOR LOCKS]

[SIGHING] Okay.

Wow. Stunning, Sean.

Oh, Nancy, do you wanna say grace?

Oh, uh, no. I'm just a guest tonight.

Oh, please. We'd be so honored.

Grace.

Leanne, that is so rude.

Sean, she's just joking.

[SEAN] I'm so sorry, Nancy.

I should apologize. You won't
even open my shitty wine.

- Oh.
- Is the, uh, Jersey Trader Joe's that bad,

or are you just a snob?

You could not pay me
to drink this. [CHUCKLES]

But you could pay me. Probably.

[CHUCKLING] Oh.

- [SEAN, LAUGHS] No, she did not.
- [NANCY] Right!

Yes she did. In front of everyone.

Ugh, bless.

So, Susan's, like, years old.
She heads up the choir,

and she's hard of hearing
and has terrible flatulence.

[NANCY] Just imagine her conducting
"This Little Light of Mine"

and then all the while she's...

[SEAN, NANCY LAUGH]

[BOTH CLEAR THROATS]

[CLEARS THROAT] You
really have to know Susan.

So, we have whole whitebait fish

with lime and cilantro
and jalapeño aioli.

I can't even look at yours.

Uh, crinkle cut's my favorite, actually.

- [JERICHO FUSSES]
- [DOROTHY SHUSHES]

Oh, why did you wake him?

Now he's off his sleep schedule
for the whole week.

I wanted him close to me.

So, Nancy. What do
you and Sean talk about

during, you know, confession?

- Dorothy!
- What?

I'm just making conversation. Mmm.

Oh, we don't do confession.

S... I'm not into guilt.

[SEAN, NANCY CHUCKLE]

[NANCY SIGHS, CLEARS THROAT]

[DOROTHY] Do you want us
to put up the heat?

Oh, I'm fine. Thank you.

Your arms are covered in goose bumps.

[NANCY] So they are.

[JERICHO CRYING]

[NANCY] So, Sean's now a famous TV host.

[SEAN] I still haven't decided.

[NANCY] "You miss %
of the sh*ts you don't take".

Yes! Thank you.

Did a minister just quote Wayne Gretzky?

Brent, our keyboardist,
is addicted to the show.

He went through the roof when
Sean first started coming to service.

Brent can quote every line
from your guest spot last season.

Last season? What are you talking about?

[CHUCKLES] She has the worst memory.

Especially when she's
a little bit jealous.

She's forgotten my birthday three times.

shouldn't even count.

Last fall was just a blur.

Baby brain.

[NANCY] He's hooked.

Too bad he's not up to scale.

[GROANS, CHEWS WITH MOUTH FULL]
Don't quit your day jobs.

Maybe do quit yours, though.
Red wine with fish. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

What is this, ?

The Grenache pairs perfectly
with the oily mackerel.

- Oh, sh*t.
- [DOROTHY GASPS] Oh, Sean.

[SEAN] Sorry.

[LEANNE GROANS, PANTS]

No, no. Please.

- Ah.
- You will return to Him.

[CROWD SCREAMS]

[GRUNTING]

- [WOMAN] No!
- [Kn*fe SLICES]

She must reunite...

[Kn*fe SLICES]

[LEANNE BREATHES HEAVILY]

[WHIMPERING]

What do you want from me?

I'm not like you.

We know.

You said no to Him.
And you're still here.

Aren't you with them?

Not anymore.

Okay, I surrender. That is hands-down

the worst meal I've ever served.

So I, uh, don't have to eat this
hair in my tomato compote?

- [SEAN] No.
- [CHUCKLING] Oh, God.

That's good.

Mr. Turner's cooking isn't a joke.

- [DOROTHY] Oh.
- [SEAN] I'm refining Leanne's palate.

We would be lost without her.

She's spiritual too.

Not anymore.

[SEAN] That's new to me. Since when?

Since I outgrew make-believe.

You get one. We get one.

Balance is restored and we all hurtle

toward certain destruction anyway.

- [SIGHS]
- Whee!

You're young and exploring. That's
exactly what you should be doing.

Thank you for your permission.

[SEAN] Leanne!

It's okay.

Well, my path wasn't
a straight line either.

Maybe no one's is.

But I think I was always meant...

to return to Him.

[SCOFFS]

I see you.

- You're rotten inside.
- That's enough!

- Oh.
- Holy sh*t. This dinner is fun.

[DOROTHY] Leanne has been
going through some things.

What things?

Private things.

[DOROTHY] Oh, this
dinner has been eventful,

but maybe we all just need to
call it a night and get some sleep.

- [CHUCKLES] You understand?
- Of course.

I meant no offense.

- You don't have to leave this second.
- It's okay.

Uh, Leanne.

I don't know if my being a minister
is triggering for you,

but I want you to know that my door

is always open if you ever wanna talk.

About anything.

Anything?

My secrets and yours?

My secrets?

Sean, what we say
in prayer group is private.

[SEAN] I never said a word. I promise.

Thank you...

for a lovely dinner.

Did you like hearing her
cry when you hit her?

I think you did.

I think you liked that she was small.

Like an insect.

You can only focus on
the good works you do today,

and for that you have
to forgive yourself.

God won't fix you.

How dare you... you judge me?

[LEANNE] Be careful,
Nancy. Some insects bite.

Poof.

You're gone.

[JERICHO CRYING]

- Well, thank you. Everyone.
- [DOROTHY] Oh.

- Nancy.
- Oh. [SHUSHES]

Oh, God. That was...

[JULIAN] Perfection, maybe?

Nancy.

Nancy, wait.

Get the f*ck away from me.

Well, that was intense. You okay?

I feel pretty good, actually.

How'd you know Nancy was so naughty?

I just guessed.

Well, good guess.

This subreddit I just found

says good old Nanc
was charged with as*ault

on her own mother in .

Oh, f*ck, and the mom was
battling dementia at the time.

[SIGHING] Oh, Nancy.

Will you teach me to smoke marijuana?

[CHUCKLES] Excuse me? Marijuana?

[CHUCKLES] Oh, my God.

Yeah. Uh, yeah.

First off, pre-rolled is the way to go.

Relax. This is my old stash.

This sh*t is weak as hell.
Perfect for you.

Okay, so...

just suck in.

Good. Now just take in
a little bit of air.

Perfect. Now just let it all out.
[CLEARS THROAT]

- [COUGHS]
- Attagirl.

[CHUCKLES, SNIFFLES]

No. I'm good, thanks.

No, you're not, Julian.

So are we friends again?

[INHALES SHARPLY]

Is that what you think we were?

[LAUGHING]

Dude, get the f*ck out of here.

Are you okay?

I'm fine.

Thank you for checking on me.

Leanne. You should come in now.

Julian, lock the gate behind you.

[BABY SHUSHER STATIC]

[PRESENTER] Chef Mary Ann,
we proudly crown you

the Gourmet Gauntlet Champion.

- Whoo! Congratulations.
- [APPLAUSE]

[SEAN] Chef Mary Ann.
Cooking is about heart.

To be the best, you must leave
no room to love anything else.

[CHEF MARY ANN] Thank you.
This means so much to me.

I'm finally gonna get to
open my brunch place

and my daughter, Doris,
is gonna be so excited.

[SEAN] Congratulations.

[CHEF MARY ANN] Thank you.

Leanne!

Leanne?

What are you doing up here?

Potato chips are perfect.
Do you want one?

What was that down there?

Nancy sucks.

There is no way you could have
known that story about Nancy.

I thought we were on the same side here.

I'm always on your side. Could
you just be on my side for once?

We are on your side. We are.

No, you're not. Not like...

Leanne, I believe in Him.
Even if you don't.

He brought my son back
to me, through you.

God didn't bring back Jericho.

Then who did?

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

Take the job, Sean.

It'll be fine.