mine, and I have to say it's very nice
to see both of you are here tonight.
His great success is a tribute to the
art of his television interviewing,
and to the art of those men,
who manufacture suits that
actually make fat people look thin.
He's brought hours of
simple-minded joy
into the lives of many with
his light banter, easy wit,
...and slightly irritating
little chuckling sound.
He has however in the next segment
of this televisual extravaganza...
made a fatal mistake. He has chosen
to hold interlocutary interlude...
...with a person so low,
that in comparison...
...an exceptionally filthy pig
is a model of personal hygiene.
His head, being without a brain, is as
empty as a h-hermits address book.
However, for those of you who
enjoy laughing at the afflicted,
here is your hosts, mr. Wogan, to
introduce his next guest. Thank you.
Thank you very much.
You're very welcome sir.
If I might just make a suggestion,
I will ring this bell if I feel the
interview ought to terminate,
...or if I feel that the public
are, uh, are tired of your...
...discutatory peregrinations.
Your chat.
Ladies and gentlemen now my great
pleasure to introduce to you
a young man whose popularity seems to
increase with every passing century.
The man they simply call...
Baldrick.
Evening, mr. T.
Right, I think that's
enough, don't you?
Well perhaps a minute longer.
Very well, on your head be it,
and of course on yours, Baldrick.
So, Baldrick, what's
that you're eating?
It's a rat.
I got it in hospitality.
Do you want a bite?
No, no. Thank you.
Tell me Baldrick, what
have you got in that bag?
Well, I heard that you was auctioning
stuff for children what's in need.
So I thought I'd auction
some of the things...
...what I used to play with
when I was a little guttersnipe.
Oh yes, lovely.
So what have you got?
Well this is one of my favorite toys,
...a bit of mud.
E... Excellent.
- And uh... - Piece of mud.
- Here's another one, this doll.
That's... that's just a stick.
Well, it's not a stick, it's just
a not very expensive doll.
You, you'll like this one, this is,
this is a real favourite. - Oh yeah?
I got it in a cowfield.
I think you call it a frisbee.
Anything else?
- Yeah...
Tucked up in here...
...I'm going to show
you my pride and joy,
Yes, thank you Baldrick, thank you.
...which is of course...
...a turnip.
How much do you expect
to auction that for?
Well I'm hoping it will
get at least a farthing.
Oh I've got a message too.
A message what mr. Blackadder...
asked me to read out to all
the ladies and gentlemen.
"Ladies and gentlemen,
I am an abject little weevil.
I apologize for wasting
your precious time
with my complete
turd-for-a-brain drivel.
Thank you. Thank you both.
And thank you sir, thank you very
much indeed. Come on Baldrick.
Shall we go now? - Yes, come on.
Thank you. Thanks very much.
I shall move amongst the audience
with some of these prizes
a little bit later on.