02x11 - The Beauty Contest

[bunniefuu]

Attaboy, Rocky. You can lift it.

That's it.

Attaboy!

Okay, Fred. Easy now.

Get ready to release it, Fred.

Easy now.

Let her go!

Oh, boy, the boss.

I gotta get that rock off him.

But it makes no sense, the minute I get the rock off him, he'll fire me.

[grunting]

Flintstone, you're fired!

[horn honking]

[theme music playing]

[whistle chirps]

[siren wailing]

[whistle chirps]

[Fred] Wilma!

Wilma!

Oh, Wilma!

Now we'll rinse the suds off, Dino, and it's all over.

Nice, Dino. [yapping]

[Fred] Wilma!

[Wilma] Okay, Fred, I'll be right there.

Don't go away, Dino.

The minute I get my hands in water, that man wants something.

Okay, Wilma. Where is it?

Where is what, Fred? My Lodge hat.

I got a meeting tonight of the Loyal Brotherhood of Water Buffalos.

Did you look in the closet, Fred? Oh, boy.

"Did you look in the closet, Fred?"

Of course, I looked in the closet!

What do you take me for? Some kind of a nincompoop?

How do they do it?

And every time.

Now hold still, Dino. You have to get dried off.

I don't want you to catch cold.

[Dino yapping]

I'm all set to go, Wilma. Okay, Fred. See you later.

I'll be home right after the meeting, Wilma.

[Dino growling]

Dino, no. Come back! [thuds]

Oh, no, stop that! Cut it out, Dino!

Dino, it's me, your master.

Dino! Dino, stop! Heel, Dino.

Heel, Dino! Down, boy! I'm your master!

Heel, I say! Dino, stop it.

Come on, I'll have to lock you up in the kitchen.

[growling and barking]

Every time I put this hat on, that animal flips his lid.

You know you're supposed to keep him tied up on Lodge Night.

I forgot, Fred. I'm sorry.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, I'll go over and get Barney.

So long, Wilma. Bye, Fred.

Hey, Barney!

Be right with you, Fred, Brother Water Buffalo.

Put her there, brother.

The secret Water Buffalo handshake.

Now the secret password, brother.

[both growling]

Oh, that kind of gives you a certain feeling, doesn't it, Barney?

It sure does, Fred.

It also gives me a certain feeling, Wilma.

[Wilma] Yeah, me too.

But I hope it goes away. [Betty giggling]

Be careful of your horns, Barney.

These hats are m*rder on convertible tops.

Water Buffalo Hall. Here we are, Barney.

[car tires screeching]

A lot of the buffalos are here already, Fred.

Yep, I guess we are just in time.

[audience chattering] Greetings, brother Buffalos!

This is a very important meeting tonight.

And as King Buffalo, I'm glad to see the entire herd showed up.

And now for the big news.

Right here at Water Buffalo Hall, we're gonna have a beauty contest.

[audience cheering] Yabba-dabba-doo!

Scabba-daggy-doo-doo!

[King Buffalo] And we're gonna need judges.

[Fred] Yahoo! Hold it! Hold it!

You can't all be judges.

We have to be fair about it.

So I'm gonna pull the names from this hat.

And the first name is...

Fred Flintstone!

[audience cheering] Yabba-dabba-doo!

And the other judge will be...

Barney Rubble!

[audience cheering] Yabba-dabba-doo-doo-doo!

Nice going, King.

Yeah, they couldn't lose.

Theirs were the only two names in the hat.

We need two judges, and all the others are too smart to take the job.

Yeah. Any guy who'll judge a beauty contest in his own hometown is out of his cotton-picking mind.

Well, Barney, how lucky can two guys get?

Yeah, I can't believe we won, Fred.

Boy, all those guys were jealous when they picked our names.

I never had any experience judging beauties before, Fred.

Well, Barney, a guy spends his life judging beauties.

It's a lifetime of experience that began when you were a kid and whistled at pretty girls.

I whistled at a girl once. Yeah? And?

And she turned around and walked back to where I was standing.

Yeah, yeah. Go on.

It was such a romantic setting.

The light from the poolroom made her look etheral.

You mean, "ethereal"? No, "etheral."

She knocked me out, bam!

What's the matter with us, Barney?

Our wives won't let us judge no beauty contest.

Well, it was fun while it lasted, Fred.

But it's all over.

We gotta call up that King Buffalo right away.

Hello, King Buffalo. Uh, this is Fred Flintstone.

Say, uh, Your Majesty, Barney Rubble and I have to drop out of that beauty judging thing.

[King Buffalo yelling indistinctly]

But... But, King, you wouldn't do that.

[yelling continues]

You would? - Yes!

Okay.

[yelling continues] Yeah, we'll go through with it.

What did he say, Fred? What did he say?

He said we do it, or pay the supreme penalty.

You mean...? That's right. Turn in our hats.

I can't think of life without being a Water Buffalo, Fred.

Me neither, Barney.

But all's not lost, Barn. It isn't?

No. We don't have to tell Wilma and Betty a thing.

And if we're lucky, they won't hear about it.

We got it made.

We will be picking the winner in the beauty contest.

Boy, some lucky girl is gonna be Miss Water Buffalo for a whole year.

Yup. Thanks to us and our keen eye for feminine pulchritude.

[both laughing]

Good morning, Wilma. Good morning, Betty. Come on in.

I'm in the laundry, just putting some things in the washing machine.

Nice day for drying.

That's why I wanna get them out early.

I might be able to do the ironing this afternoon.

I hate ironing.

Well, me too.

I just stand there, and think and think and think.

[squawks]

[lively music playing]

How was Barney this morning?

Fine. Ever since coming home from the Lodge meeting last night, he's been bubbling over, humming and whistling.

Come to think of it, Fred's been over-jovial too.

-And while they're in such a good mood, -Hm?

Let's go downtown and try on some dresses.

Oh, good idea, Wilma.

Say, I saw the darlingest leopard-skin frock with lizard shirring at the Bon-Ton.

Attaboy, Rocky. You can lift it.

That's it.

Attaboy!

Okay, Fred. Easy now.

This way a little.

Easy. Easy.

Okay, boss.

That's it.

Get ready to release it, Fred.

Easy now.

Let her go!

Oh, boy, the boss.

There goes my job.

I gotta get that rock off him.

But it makes no sense, the minute I get the rock off him, he'll fire me.

[grunting]

Flintstone, you're fired!

Hey, Flintstone, wait a minute.

I just thought of something.

I was only kidding, Freddie-boy.

It was my fault.

Get back up there on that dinosaur, boy.

Gosh! Thanks, Mr. Slate.

Anything you ever want me to do, just name it.

Okay. Uh...

You, uh, can help me with a little problem I have, Fred.

Sure thing, boss.

Well, uh, I have a daughter, Fred, and...

Heh-heh [stammering] it seems she's entered in a beauty contest.

And I understand you're a judge, Fred.

Now, I'm not trying to influence you, Fred.

I hate guys that do that.

But I'd, uh, also hate to see my daughter crushed, her high hopes dashed.

Why should I talk like this?

You call it as you see it, Fred.

Do what's right.

And you'll still have a job next Monday morning.

Uh, here's my Bessie's picture, foreman.

Oops, [chuckles] me and my big mouth.

I just can't keep a secret.

Oh, boy.

Well, I'll take a look at Bessie's picture, maybe...

Oh, no! Eek!

Well, my fellow judge ought to be along soon.

[man] Psst! Hey, bud, come here.

[Barney] Who, me? Yeah, you.

I understand you're Barney Rubble, right?

Uh, yeah, I'm Barney Rubble.

[Big Louie] The beauty contest judge, eh?

Well, uh, yes.

Well, I'm Big Louie.

[stammering] Big Louie? Mr. Rackets himself?

Right. And that girl over there is Cookie.

Say hello, Cookie.

Hello, Cookie.

I promised Cookie she's gonna win the beauty contest.

And Big Louie never welshes on a promise.

Ask anybody.

Be seeing you, Rubble, in the Winner's Circle, Saturday night.

Say goodbye, Cookie. [Cookie] Goodbye, Cookie.

[stammering] Goodbye, Cookie.

Goodbye, Barney. [tires screech]

[Fred] Hey, Barney. Let's go.

And then Big Louie said he promised Cookie she was going to win.

Oh, I'm scared of that guy, Fred.

We better vote for Cookie, or I'm gonna get it.

What do you say, Fred?

Well, I say I never heard of such abject cringing in all my life.

I'm ashamed of you, Barney.

It's up to us citizens to resist a guy like Big Louie.

We can't let that element force us.

We can't compromise our integrity.

We gotta stand up and defy him.

We give in to intimidation once, and we're lost.

Barney, my boy, we have a job to do, and we'll do it. Right?

Right, Fred. We'll vote for whoever we want.

Right. And we wanna vote for Bessie.

Bessie? Who's Bessie?

My boss's daughter.

Your boss's daughter?

You mean, you'd...

You'd let me get knocked off, so you could get in good with your boss?

Oh, the way you say it, Barney, sounds bad.

Okay. You got another way of saying it?

Uh... no, but I sure wish I had.

Well, I'm voting for Cookie. She's a pretty lady.

And I'm voting for Bessie. She's, uh...

She's my boss's daughter.

Hey, wait a minute, Barney. We're all right.

They both win. Both win?

Yeah, a photo finish, a two-way tie.

Hey, that would do it, Fred.

Even Big Louie would settle for a tie.

Yay! We got nothing to worry about.

That foreman's job is all mine right now, Barney.

Why, no, miss. Mr. Flintstone isn't home yet.

Is there any message? [woman] Please give him my measurements.

Your what? - My measurements.

Your measurements?

Well, okay, let's have them.

- Forty-four. Forty-four.

- Twenty-three. Twenty-three.

- Thirty-four. Thirty-four. Got it.

Are you sure that 44 is correct?

- If you wait, I'll check. Yes, I'll wait.

[Wilma humming]

- I'm sorry. Yes?

- It's 45. Forty-five?

- Will you give him the message, please? Yes. Don't worry, miss.

I'll give it to him.

In more ways than one.

[Fred] Oh, Wilma, I'm home!

Sweetheart, was there any mail for me today?

No. Just a phone call.

Oh. Who from? Some girl.

Some girl?

Her measurements are 45-23-34.

That's some girl, all right.

Okay, Fred, who is she?

I don't know, Wilma. Honest. I don't know!

Why would she call up to give you her measurements?

Well, uh... heh-heh.

You know how some women are, they just can't keep a secret.

A secret?

No one could keep measurements like that a secret.

It wouldn't be easy.

Fred!

We're gonna get to the bottom of this.

[scat singing]

Oh, uh, pardon me, uh...

The name is "Betty," your wife.

Oh, you must remember.

You know, with the meals, washing, keeping the house clean.

Think hard, it'll come to you.

Oh, Betty. There! I told you you'd remember.

Oh, cut it out, Betty. And, uh...

Who's your friends? They're no friends of mine.

They're waiting to see you.

Oh, no, you don't.

You're going right in to them.

[stammering] What do they want, Betty? How do I know?

They said they had something to show you.

I don't know what it could be.

Well, let's find out. I'm curious.

Hello, ladies. You wanted to show me something?

Why, yes, Mr. Rubble.

We'd like your honest opinion. What do you think of our chances?

[Betty] Your chances for a broken arm are great.

Now you two get out!

Out, out, out!

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

Okay, Barney, start talking.

Uh, talking? Okay.

Uh, hi, Betty. What's new?

Okay, Fred, I believe you when you say you don't know that girl who called up, okay.

[knocking on door]

That will be Betty.

Come on in. We're out in the kitchen.

[coughing]

What's the matter?

[coughing continues]

Oh, those choking spells are terrible.

[heaving]

Quick, get him a glass of water.

[coughing]

There. You'll be all right in a minute, Fred.

Oh, thank you very much.

This will cool you off, hotshot.

Now you get out of here!

Stay out!

You come around here again, and I'll pull that blond hair out by its black roots!

Barney never lies to me, so I believe him when he says he doesn't know those girls.

That's Fred's story too.

But it's a little weird.

Last night, we walked down to the market, and every girl we passed waved at Fred.

Some whistled, just as if he was a movie star, like Cary Granite.

Well, Wilma, maybe Fred's got that je ne sais pas, that certain something.

Maybe he has that certain something.

But wouldn't you think I would've noticed it after all these years?

Well, Fred, tonight's the big night. Yeah, Barney.

And what a week this has been.

Strange girls whistling and waving at me.

Yeah, me too, Fred.

A thing like this just wouldn't happen when a guy is young and single.

Well, you're not kidding, Fred.

When I was single, sometimes, I'd dial the correct time number on the phone just to hear a girl's voice.

You too, Barney? [chuckles]

I knew it was only a recording, but I didn't care.

[tires screech]

It's too bad we had to deceive them about the beauty contest.

Well, we had to uphold our Buffalo secrecy oath.

Yup, that's right.

But believe me, Barney, from now on, no more deception. Right?

Right, Fred.

The girls aren't gonna let us out to go to any meeting tonight, Fred. What do we do?

Very simple. We get them to watch television, and when they're interested in the program, we grab our Buffalo hats, and run out the back door.

Isn't that a little deceitful, Fred?

Well, in this case, it's more like self-preservation, Barney.

Thanks for drying the dishes, Barney. My pleasure, Betty.

Uh, now let's watch television, huh?

I don't feel like watching television.

But you have to watch television, Betty.

Barney, what's the matter with you?

I'm going over to Wilma's, and I don't wanna hear any more about it.

Barney acted mighty strange tonight.

He wanted me to watch television instead of coming over here.

That's odd.

Fred insisted that I watch television tonight also.

[Dino growling and barking]

What's that?

[Wilma] Sounds like Dino and some animal fighting.

[Dino growling] Dino?

Heel, Dino!

Dino, stop it. Stop it! [Wilma] Dino, stop it.

Dino, down, down!

Get up, Fred.

That animal has got to go.

What are you doing out here, Fred?

I'm going to a special Water Buffalo meeting, and that's that.

Something fishy is going on. Yeah.

I don't believe the Buffalos are meeting tonight.

Well, we could check and see, Wilma. Right.

I don't remember a Water Buffalo meeting ever being held on Saturday night.

Well, we'll know pretty soon, Betty.

Look, Wilma, Water Buffalo Hall.

It's open.

[Wilma] Look at all the cars.

Well, the boys were telling the truth.

As long as we are here, let's go to the back door, and take a peek at what's so fascinating about this place.

Do you think we should, Wilma?

No. But let's go anyway.

All we can do is take a fast look, Betty. I know.

"No women allowed." That's their strict rule.

Looks like the strict rule has been suspended tonight.

I'll say.

Why don't you go in, Wilma, and find out what this is all about?

What did you find out, Wilma?

It's a beauty contest.

Well, that lets us out.

Say, Betty, Fred and Barney are out in the audience somewhere.

So?

Well, just for a gag, let's walk across the stage with the rest of the girls.

It'll give Fred and Barney the shock of their lives.

But, Wilma, we have no bathing suits.

They supply them here. All contestants wear the same kind of suit.

Let's get ours, Betty.

As King Buffalo, I signal the start of our beauty contest.

Hit it, John Charming.

[piano playing]

[singing] Where is she?

[whistles]

Where is she?

We search high and low For Miss Water Buffalo To wear the beauty crown With charming grace and pretty face The pride of Bedrock Town...

Well, here we are, Barney, right up onstage.

And the beauties will pass right by us.

[Big Louie] Psst! Hey, Rubble.

Remember, Rubble, the Winner's Circle or else.

It's Big Louie and his boys. What do we do?

[stammering]

[Slate] Flintstone? [stammering]

Yes, yes, Mr. Slate?

Remember, Foreman Flintstone, my problem is your problem.

Say, Fred, I've been thinking that Big Louie isn't gonna intimidate me.

I'm gonna vote honest.

Barney, I'm proud of you.

Agreed, then. We vote honest.

Right, Fred.

Yabba-dabba-doo!

Shoobie-doobie!

[muttering indistinctly]

And wowee, wowee!

It's our turn, Wilma. Go on out.

Oh, Betty, this is ridiculous.

Well, we can't back out now.

Barney, look.

Betty, look. Fred and Barney.

Wilma! And Betty!

It's a tie for first place.

Our wives look best to us.

[crashing and people yelling]

Head for the car, girls. That mob is out of control.

[people yelling]

Wait for me, Barney!

Okay, slow down, Barney. We shook them off.

We'll have to return these crowns, boys.

We're disqualified for being married women.

But thanks to a couple of smart judges...

Who know what's good for them.

We're beauty queens for a day. We're beauty queens for a day.

Wrong. You are queens every day.

Right, Fred? Right, Barney-boy.

[singing] We search high and low For Miss Water Buffalo To wear the beauty crown With charming grace and pretty face The pride of Bedrock Town

[theme music playing]

[yawns]

Wilma!

Wilma!

Come on, Wilma, open this door!

Wilma!