03x23 - The Blessed Event

[bunniefuu]

Wilma, you all right?

[groans] Yes, Fred.

Whenever you're ready to go, just call.

Fred, I'm trying to sleep.

I just wanted to let you know I'm on the job.

Whenever you're ready, I'm ready. Just say the word.

Calm and cool Flintstone, that's me. Fred.

It's time. Don't panic, Wilma, old girl!

Old reliable is on his way! Fred.

Don't lift anything, I'll do it all.

Everything's under control.

I'm ready.

I'm not.

[screeches]

Yabba-dabba-doo!

♪ Flintstones, meet the Flintstones They're the modern Stone Age family ♪

♪ From the town of Bedrock They're a page right out of history ♪

♪ Let's ride with the family down the street Through the courtesy of Fred's two feet ♪

♪ When you're with the Flintstones ♪

♪ Have a yabba-dabba-doo time, A dabba-doo time ♪

♪ We'll have a gay old time ♪

[man] All right, men. Let's go.

Hut two, hut two, hut two.

Up, down. Hut two. Up, down.

Come on, now, let's build up those puny leg muscles.

One, two. Hut two. Hut two.

Come on, keep working.

You wanna look like me, don't you?

All right, Flintstone. Watch that posture.

Stomach in. Chest out.

Okay, that's enough.

[groans]

Gee, I'm glad that's over.

Five more minutes on the equipment, men, then knock off.

Oh, boy, that suit sure is heavy.

I got to hand it to you, Fred. I never thought you'd be so calm.

Look, Barney-boy, just because a man's wife is having a baby, there's no reason for him to panic.

Besides, I've gotta get in good shape for walking the floor.

And as godfather, I gotta get in shape too.

Some shape.

I bet it'll be a beautiful baby, Fred.

[Fred] Of course, it's gonna be beautiful.

It's gonna look just like me.

I was a pretty baby.

Well, it's hard to believe, but I'll take your word for it.

[laughing] Ha-ha-ha.

Well, my baby's gonna be proud of his father.

Look at that muscle, big as a potato.

Well, mine's like a potato too.

Well, uh, mashed potato.

Well, that's enough for today.

I gotta meet Wilma at the doctor's.

Ow! My arm. I must have overdid it.

I'll stop by Brick's office, get some liniment.

One minute.

Let's go, Windy.

Blow, Windy, blow.

Now my shape's okay.

Yeah, but look at mine.

Yes, Flintstone.

Uh, my arm's sore. You got anything to put on it?

Sure. Here's a bottle of rubbing alcohol. Thanks.

Boy, you sure got some physique.

Did you get it all by exercise? Yeah, exercise.

And lots of air.

Yeah, my air.

"Dr. Rockpile, baby doctor."

Dr. Rockpile's office.

Oh, yes, ma'am.

Now, I'll give you an appointment for tomorrow.

Yes? My name's Fred Flintstone.

I'm here to pick up my wife.

[whistles]

Now hear this. Mr. Flintstone is here.

I repeat, Mr. Flintstone is here.

[squawks] Mr. Flintstone is here.

Hi, Wilma. Hi, doc. How's our little mother?

Just fine, Mr. Flintstone.

Now, I wonder if I could see you for a minute.

Me? Sure thing, doc.

I have some shopping to do, Fred. I'll take the car and see you at home.

Okay, Wilma.

Drive carefully, dear.

What is it, doc? Gonna give me a little physical?

Excuse me. I'll need a new needle.

All I need is a little sample of your blood.

Sure, doc. Help your...

[stammering] A sample of my blood?

That's right. This won't take a sec.

These big, strong guys do it every time.

Put me down. Put me down!

All right, crazy legs, but let's stay put now.

Oh, come on, now.

I'm not getting 10 cents a mile to follow you around.

Come out, Mr. Flintstone, this won't hurt a bit.

Doc, I think I should tell you. I'm anemic.

[doctor] Come, come, it's painless.

Haven't you ever been a blood donor?

A blood donor? I'm not even a blood owner.

You look pretty healthy to me. Besides, I only want a small sample.

I can't spare it. What I have is in constant use.

We have a problem here, nurse.

But I'm going to get to the bottom of it.

Ouch! Ow! No, no. I'm too young to die.

There. Was that so painful?

Why, no. I didn't feel a thing.

That was easy. You want some more?

No. This will be enough.

Okay, doc, but anytime you want another sample, just let me know.

Hm.

Funny-looking blood.

Better run a test on it, nurse, but I'm sure he's all right.

He seemed happy enough.

[hiccups] Wowee.

If you had his blood, you'd be happy too.

[hiccups] Whoopie!

♪ The only way to fly ♪

[Fred] Hi, Wilma.

Oh, hello, Fred. What did the doctor want?

Nothing much. Just a little blood test.

Were you nervous? Me?

Are you kidding? Old iron nerves?

Nothing upsets me.

What did the doctor say to you?

Oh, nothing.

He said everything's fine, and we can expect the baby any day now.

That's nice.

Any day now?

Wilma, are you sure you're all right?

You want some pickles? Ice cream?

Tell me. Anything.

Fred, what are you doing?

You shouldn't be working. Wilma, you should be resting.

Outside, Dino. How many times have I told you not to sleep on the bed?

But he always does.

Dino can sleep outside, Wilma. You need rest.

Now, just lie there, darling, and then relax.

Quiet. That's what you need.

Quiet.

[ticking]

Quiet!

Thank you, Fred.

I'll see to it that it's quiet, dear.

[clacking]

What's that?

Shut that thing off! Wilma needs quiet!

What am I gonna do about all this tall grass?

Here's an eyebrow tweezer. Pull the grass out a blade at a time.

But be quiet about it!

Oh, boy. Fred, you sure are one nervous father.

Me? Nervous? Don't be ridiculous.

[Dino barking and cat hissing]

Quiet!

I want quiet! Do you understand?

Now, watch it.

[inaudible]

[snoring]

Wilma, you all right?

[groans] Yes, Fred.

Whenever you're ready to go, just call.

Fred, I'm trying to sleep.

I just wanted to let you know I'm on the job.

Whenever you're ready, I'm ready. Just say the word.

Calm and cool Flintstone, that's me. Fred.

It's time. Don't panic, Wilma, old girl.

Old reliable is on his way. Fred.

Don't lift anything, I'll do it all.

Everything's under control.

I'm ready.

I'm not.

I just wanted to tell you to go to sleep.

Okay, if it'll make you happy, I'll go to sleep.

I'll sleep like a baby.

An expl*si*n couldn't wake me up.

[yawns, then snores]

[cuckooing]

Oh, boy.

I must be cuckoo to be up at this hour.

Wilma, I can't sleep.

What's wrong now, Fred?

Wilma, are you sure you wanna go through with this?

I wish you'd relax, Fred.

Look at me. I'm calm.

Why shouldn't you be? Your wife isn't having a baby.

Hey, what are you doing? I just wanted to get...

Well, let me do it. Whatever you want, whatever you want, I'll always get it.

Here you are, Wilma. How about some shrimp and marmalade compote?

Uh-uh.

A chocolate-covered hard-boiled egg on a stick?

Uh-uh.

You'll love this. Sardines smothered in prune whip.

No?

Oysters à la mode.

Fred, are you...? Wait, wait, wait, don't tell me.

You want a sandwich.

Lobster and hot fudge on pound cake.

No.

Oh, I give up. What were you gonna get?

A glass of water.

Water?

Boy, you don't know nothing about having a baby.

Fred, please try to relax.

Oh, sure, sure, it's easy for you.

All you have to do is tell me you're ready, and your job's done.

And what do you have to do?

Are you kidding? I gotta call the doctor, get the car, come in and get your suitcase, come back and get you, then drive to the hospital.

You're hardly involved in this thing at all.

I had no idea what you fathers go through.

Well, now you know.

But it could be days before I'm ready to go to the hospital.

You'll be a nervous wreck.

Me? Nervous?

Don't worry. I'm one father who's going to remain calm.

Oh, Wilma, you're wonderful, doing laundry now.

I don't know how you can be so calm.

It's the only thing I've been able to do.

Fred won't let me lift a finger.

This morning, he even insisted on helping me with the dishes.

Fred helped with the dishes?

He washed, and I swept them up.

How's Fred doing otherwise? He's in the house.

Why don't you go in and see for yourself.

You better sit down, Fred. You're wearing a groove in the floor.

Look at Wilma out there.

How can she be so calm when she knows what I'm going through?

How are you, Fred?

How do you think I am? This waiting, waiting, waiting is tough.

Betty, you go back out there and tell Wilma if she doesn't hurry, I'll go to the hospital without her.

[Barney] Why are you so jittery, Fred?

[stammering] Who's jittery?

I just want everything to go smooth. Suppose we don't get to the hospital in time.

Why don't you have a dress rehearsal and check it out?

Why, that's ridic...

That's a great idea. Yeah, yeah, we'll have a dry run.

Barney, you be Wilma.

And we'll time how long it takes us to get to the hospital.

All right? All right? Ready for the countdown?

Ten, nine, eight...

[Barney] How do I look, Fred?

Barney, what are you wearing that for?

You told me to be Wilma. I'm just doing what you said.

Okay, okay. Now let's get started.

You ready, Barney? I mean, Wilma?

[in high-pitched voice] Ready on the firing line, hubby dear.

[both laughing]

Okay, okay.

One, I go to the closet and get the suitcase.

Two, call the doctor.

Hello, doctor? I'm calling for the Flintstones. They're leaving for the hospital.

Good, good, good.

And three, I help Wilma on with her coat and we're off.

Keep an eye on Wilma, Betty, while we check this out, huh?

Watch the road, Fred. You've over too far on the left.

Uh-uh. Don't look at me. Look at the road.

Careful. You're going too fast. Watch out for the bump.

Will you cut that out?

How can you yell at me like that, in my condition?

You're not fit to be the father of my child.

Oh, what is this?

[in normal voice] Well, I'm just trying to act like Wilma.

Well, you're overdoing it.

All right. Pull over.

What's the big rush?

I'm taking my wife to the hospital. She's having a baby.

I gotta hand it to you, buddy. You sure got intestinal fortitude.

What do you mean?

Marrying a dame who looks like that and raising a family.

Why, the baby's liable to look like...

The baby? You're having a baby?

Oh, my. A baby.

Follow me. A baby.

Oops. Forgot my motorcycle.

Oh, boy, we're sure starting off with a bang.

Here, let me help you out of the car, lady.

[in high-pitched voice] Thank you, officer. In my delicate condition, I have to be careful.

Hey, wait for me.

Did you hurt yourself, dear?

Oops. Forgot the suitcase.

Thanks for everything, officer.

And my wife makes me carry the garbage.

Uh-oh. Looks like another father bit the dust.

Will you put me down?

Certainly, dear.

Sometimes I don't think you have a brain in your head.

That's no way to talk to your wife in her condition.

That's not my wife. We're just good friends.

[Fred] You think I'd be married to that?

[Barney] I wouldn't have you.

Aren't you having a baby? No. We're just rehearsing.

We just wanted to find out how long it takes to have a baby.

Not bad, Barn. We did it in five minutes and 16 seconds.

Now, we're ready for anything.

And now you can take off that stupid-looking outfit.

I don't know how Wilma puts up with you.

We got it made, Barney. Now we know the exact timing.

We know our duties.

Everything should go off smooth as silk.

Just leave the door open.

When the time comes, every second we save will help.

[Wilma] Fred. What, dear?

I'm ready. Oh, that's... [gasps]

You're ready? She's ready. [in normal voice] She's ready. I got it.

I got it.

[Wilma] Call the doctor, Fred.

The doctor. The doctor.

Oh, no, no, Barney. You grab the suitcase. I'll call.

Hello, Dr. Rockpile.

This is Fred hospital. I'm taking my wife to the Flintstone.

Come on, Barney.

Let's go.

Now, don't worry, Wilma. We'll make it in plenty of time.

Uh, Fred, there's something I think you ought to know.

Not now. Wilma's the important thing.

That's what I'm trying to tell you. Wilma isn't here.

[stammering] What?

Fred.

Fred?

He must be out in the kitchen.

Barney, can't I trust you to get anything straight?

You sure are hopeless.

Don't worry, Wilma. We have plenty of time.

Freddie's ready.

Barney, where's Fred?

He's out in the car with you.

I'm not out in the car, Barney.

Keep covered, dear.

Can't have you catching cold now, can we?

I've never told you this before, dear, but you've been wonderful through this whole thing.

I don't deserve you, Wilma, dear.

All right. Pull over.

I'm taking my wife to the hospital.

Another wife? What are you, an Arabian prince?

How many wives do you have?

Oh, no, no, officer, you don't understand. You see...

Wow, the first one was bad enough.

This one's a dog.

Now, just a minute. You can't talk that way about my wife.

Sorry, dear. You'll have to excuse...

Holy smokes! Dino! You goofy mutt!

When we get home, I'm gonna chain you in the yard.

I'll never let you inside the house again.

Boy, has he got his women trained.

Don't worry, Wilma. I'll get you to the hospital in time.

Here comes Fred.

Fred.

Barney, how can you foul things up like this?

Let's go.

We got it straight now, Wilma. If only Barney remains calm.

Oh, I'm calm, Fred, but I don't think Wilma is.

Barney, what did you do with Wilma?

Nothing, Fred. You put her in your car.

Well, what did you let me do that for, you numbskull?

Back up. Back up.

Let's get it straight now, Barney. I ride with Wilma.

Right, Fred. Let's go.

Uh-oh. Looks like I did it again.

The baby will be 7 years old by the time we get to the hospital.

Bundle up, darling. It's chilly.

Hi, officer. I got it right this time.

What are you doing now, running empty?

I'm taking the little woman to the hos...

[stammering] I lost her.

You better start keeping books, buddy.

Oh, boy, I never knew having a baby was this much trouble.

Okay, now, we're all present and accounted for.

Take off. Take off what?

Will you drive us to the hospital?

All right. All right.

He wasn't like this at rehearsal.

Here's the hospital. Now watch your step, Wilma.

Hurry up with the suitcase, Barney. I'm right behind you, Fred.

I'm looking for my wife. What room is she in?

What's the name?

Flintstone. She just came in with my best friend.

Look, mister, we don't want any trouble here.

What kind of a hospital is this?

This is a hotel. The hospital's across the street.

We're having a baby. That is, she's having a baby.

Just relax, sir.

Oh, orderly, take this lady to Room 12.

Now, what's your name?

Rubble. Barney Rubble.

And her name? Wilma.

That's all the information I need for now.

You can go to the waiting room. Oh, thank you, nurse.

Hello, Registry, I've just given Room 12 to Mrs. Rubble.

Husband's name is Barney.

Okay.

[humming]

Hey, Barney. Barney, where's Wilma?

They're taking her to her room, Fred.

[stammering] I... I don't think I'm gonna make it, Barney.

How long will it take now?

Hey, there's a couple of doctors. Maybe they can tell us something.

You're too intense, Len.

You've turned everyone in the hospital against you.

What do you want me to do?

You might try smiling once in a while.

[Fred] I beg your pardon.

I wonder if you doctors could help me?

Not now. We're busy.

You see, Len?

That's just what I mean.

[Fred] Hm. I think I've seen those two before.

Boil water. Boil water. I need hot...

Dr. Rockpile, is it for Wilma's baby? No. I'm making tea.

Hot water! Hot water!

Guess there's nothing to do but wait, Fred.

Are you nervous about your new baby?

No, no, no. No, no, no, there's nothing to having a baby.

I was up and around three hours after Mrs. Brickley had the last one.

Then why are you so shaky?

Well, the first time we came here, my wife ate two eggs for breakfast and had twins.

The next time, she ate a triple-decker sandwich and had triplets.

What are you so nervous about now?

This morning, she had a dozen doughnuts.

Oh, me. Oh, my. Oh, me.

Hey, you must be tired, Fred.

Sit down and let me pace for you.

[groans]

Thanks, Barney.

Faster, Barn. Faster. I'm more nervous than that.

And lower your head. I'm worried.

It's uncomfortable on the back. I don't mind.

Okay, it's your back.

I think you're getting tired, Fred. Uh, mind if I sit down?

No. I think I can go a little longer.

Mr. Rubble, congratulations.

You're a father.

Barney, why didn't you tell me?

Well, I didn't know. Are you sure?

I'm positive.

Oh, I better go home and tell Betty.

What about my baby, Flintstone?

Flintstone? Flintstone.

No, there's no Flintstone on my list.

Maybe Wilma changed her mind.

Wilma? Well, that's Mrs. Rubble's name.

No, no. That's my wife. Rubble brought her in.

Oh, then you'd better follow me.

You mean, Wilma's had the baby?

Yabba-dabba-doo!

Yours is right in there.

Barney, I hit the jackpot.

[nurse] Oh, they're not all yours.

You go in and see your wife, and I'll bring the baby to you.

Is it a goy or birl? A boy or girl?

Come on. Come on, let's see Wilma. She'll know.

Hello, Fred.

How are you, Wilma?

Fine.

Have you seen the baby?

The nurse is bringing it in.

Well, is it a boy or girl?

Yeah, Wilma. What is it? [baby crying]

Here's your new daughter, Mr. Flintstone.

A girl.

Wilma, she's beautiful. She looks just like you.

A chip off the old block, huh, Fred?

More like a pebble off the old Flintstone.

What a wonderful name.

Pebbles Flintstone.

Say, that ain't bad.

She looks like a Pebbles Flintstone.

Oh! Isn't that cute? The nurse dressed her up.

What does baby say? Do you like your name?

Yabba-dabba-doo.

[coos]

[Fred] Are there any questions?

[all laughing]

♪ Flintstones, meet the Flintstones They're the modern Stone Age family ♪

♪ From the town of Bedrock They're a page right out of history ♪

♪ Someday, maybe Fred will win the fight Then that cat will stay out for the night ♪

♪ When you're with the Flintstones ♪

♪ Have a yabba-dabba-doo time, A dabba-doo time ♪

♪ We'll have a gay old time ♪

♪ We'll have a gay old time ♪ Wilma!