04x22 - Ghost Roommate

[bunniefuu]

C'mon Harper!

What says, "I'm ready
for a night out on the town,"

the baby bird earrings
or the pigeon wing hat?

The baby bird earrings.

They say, "Two cute chicks."

The hat just says,
"Don't talk to us."

Oh, we are gonna dance the night away!

You know why? Because
we don't have a curfew.

We don't have rules.

We don't have paper towels!

Oh, remind me to pick some
of those up on the way home.

Whoo! Party! Yeah!

Hey... look at
the two cute chicks.

Oh, thank you very much.

I was talking about her earrings.

Well, you were right.

Lobby, please.

Oh, and before I forget,
here's our rent money, Dexter.

It was a pleasure doing business with you.

Oh, how about the electric bill?

Oh, I got this, Harper.

Uh... OK, well,
here you go.

Oh, and while we're at it, you guys
still haven't paid your cable bill.

Oh... here you go.

And the water bill?

Will you take
a dollar eighty-five...

and some cute chick earrings?
Hey!

Lobby.
Here we are, ladies.

Dance the night away.

You gonna do the Dougie?
Lean and brush! Lean and brush!

Please stop that.

We don't have any money left.

Just take us back up.

Well, I had a good time.
How about you?

What's the point
of having our own apartment

if we can't afford to have fun?

You know, a lot of people on this floor

have roommates to help them pay the rent.

Well, you heard him, Harper.

You're out.
I need a richer roommate.

He means another roommate.

Oh. Well, hey Harper you're back in.

Find us another roommate.

♪ Everything... ♪

♪ is not... ♪

♪ What it seems ♪

♪ Seems ♪

♪ Well, you know everything's gonna be a breeze ♪

♪ And the end will no doubt justify the means ♪

♪ You can fix any problem with the slightest of ease ♪

♪ Yes, please ♪

♪ But you might find out it'll go to your head ♪

♪ When you write a report on a book you never read ♪

♪ With the snap of your fingers you can make your bed ♪

♪ That's what I said ♪

♪ Everything is not what it seems ♪

♪ When you can get all you wanted in your wildest dreams ♪

♪ You might run into trouble if you go to extremes ♪

♪ Because everything is not what it seems ♪

♪ Be careful not to mess with the balance of things ♪

♪ Because everything is not ♪

♪ What it seems ♪

OK, I've written down some questions
to ask our prospective roommates.

Oh, me too.
And "Are you my size?"?"

Might as well get someone
we can share clothes with.

Oh, how exciting!

The first applicant is here.

Will this be the person we share our lives with?
I just don't know.

Hello, I'm here about the roommate ad?

Come on, Mason. No, really.
Think about it.

Two girls living with a brave
werewolf to protect them.

What was that?!

That was our fireplace dragon,
you big brave werewolf.

Thank you for your application.

We'll take it under consideration.

Yes! She's taking it
under consideration.

I am wearing her down.

I think that was just a polite
way to get rid of you.

Only time will tell.

I was kind of getting rid of you.

Well, that didn't take very much time.

Mason, wait.

I'm really glad that we're still friends, but
I just think it's time for you to move on.

Move on?

Very well. I heard this
apartment had fleas anyway.

That boy really wants you back.

No, I know. This is the ugly
side of being irresistible.

Hello? I'm here
about the apartment.

Aah! A ghost!

You guys have pillow fights?
I love it here already!

Hi, I'm Lucy. I hear you're
looking for a roommate.

Well, we sure are.

You're cute and about my size.
Do you have any money?

Now, hold on, Alex. Don't you think
we should get to know her first?

What? A ghost roommate
is perfect.

We don't have to yell at her if
she stands in front of the TV.

Making sure someone
is see-through

is not how I pick a good roommate.

I can pay the first
two months' rent right now.

That's how I pick a good roommate.

OK, here's your water.
And I'll grab your pickles.

One second, I'll be right with you.

Here's your sandwich.
Please don't want anything else.

Justin. Look, I know
I said I'd help you out

so you can study
for the wizard competition,

but you didn't say I'd
be doing this by myself.

OK, well, I'm sorry.
My parents should be back soon.

They're just dropping
Max off at wizard camp.

But in the meantime, I ordered you a robot.

Yes! My robot bride
is on the way!

It's a helper, not a bride.

It still is a "her," though, right?

I don't want to have to
talk about sports with it.

It doesn't matter, because
I called the delivery people

and they said that it's lost in transit.

Sorry.

Robot delivery for Justin Russo.

I mean, "I don't know what's in this
box" delivery for Justin Russo.

She's here! She's here!

That's so weird,
'cause they said it was lost.

Who cares? Let's cr*ck this
baby open and get it working.

Bummer. It came assembled.

Hello. My name is, Robuddy.

Aw man!
It's a dude.

How 'bout them sports?

Donny!

Donny!

Harper, stop your racket.

You moved out of our basement.
You don't have to wake up crying anymore.

That's not me.

Donny!

Oh, no. Ghosty ain't in her bed!

Donny!

Lucy, what are you doing?

Haunting!

Hey, keep it down out here.

I mean, I can't even
hear myself "moving on."

There she is, Dexter.

There's the ghost who woke me up.

Hugh Normous? You live here?

Yeah, I just moved in.

But if this haunting stuff
keeps up, I'll be moving out.

She scared me so much
I had to hide under my bed.

And that's tough
for a giant. Look...

OK, ladies, you know the rules.

No loud music, no parties,
and no haunting after nine.

I'm so sorry.

Haunting is just the way that
ghosts express their sadness.

Why are you so sad?

Is it because Harper ate
all your oatmeal cookies?

Hey, We ate those,
and we agreed not to tell her!

No, it's...
it's not that.

Sixty years ago I lost
my true love, Donny Fasio,

and my heartache makes
me haunt every night.

I'll understand if you want me to move out.

Oh, honey...

be out by morning.

Harper, we can't let her move out.

We need her dirty rent money.
All right, fine!

Lucy...

Look, we just... we just need
to find you a new boyfriend.

Someone that'll take
your mind off your lost love.

I don't think I'm ready for that.

It's been years.
How much more time do you need?

OK, I'll try.

Cookies! Cookies!

I also miss my oatmeal cookies, you two.

Hey, Justin. Robuddy is awesome!
I love working here now!

Oh, well, good. I'll talk to my dad
about bringing you on full time

so you can quit your
baby-sitting job.

Oh, oh, oh, check out
our lunchtime entertainment.

Show him, Robuddy.

Huh?

I do not know how I didn't see that coming.

Is Justin studying
for the wizard competition?

Yeah, he's been studying for...

Wait... how do you know
about the wizard competition?

All right! Ohh!

I like your moves!

Boo!

It's funny.
It's a ghost. Get it?

No, it's not funny. You made me
spill my relaxation tea.

What do you want, Alex?
I'm very busy studying.

We're here to introduce you
to our new roommate, Lucy.

We know You like girls
from the wizard world.

He is kind of cute.
Why would a vampire dump him?

I was not dumped!

She got old and she
hobbled off into the forest!

It happens!

OK, well, this is Lucy.

I'm not really good at playing
Cupid, so let's just get to it.

You need to date her.

Sorry, I cannot help you, Alex,
because I am busy studying.

He's a softy.
Just tell him your story.

OK... Um, well...

My boyfriend, Donny, was an aviator,

and he took off on a transatlantic flight

and his plane was mysteriously lost.

Transatlantic?
Mysteriously lost?

Interesting.

Have you ever heard
of the Bermuda Triangle?

Isn't that the place where ships
and planes mysteriously disappear?

Yes. Now tell me, was he
flying southeast, northwest...

Um, we're trying to get her
mind off of the boyfriend.

So will you just ask her out?

Right.

Lucy, I have to ask you
something very important.

Yes?

What kind of plane was he flying?

Justin!
What...?

I don't know.

Doesn't matter, anyway.
No plane could have survived

the magnetic forces of the Triangle.

Well, this was a bust.
Way to go, Romeo.

I'm terribly sorry for your
devastatingly mysterious loss.

OK, so I got us some things to help
drown out Lucy's haunting tonight.

First, I put in the earplugs.
All right.

Then, put on earmuffs...
Nice.

And after
that, wrap my head in a scarf.

What do you think?
It's not bad.

What?
Not bad.

What?
It works!

OK.

Hey guys, how do I look?

What?!

I met a really cute guy
and we're going on a date.

Oh, really?
That's great!

This is exactly what you need to
get your mind off your lost love.

Goodbye, Donny.

That's him.

Ugh! It's just Mason.

Look, Mason, I told you,
I'm not interested...

Actually, I'm here for Lucy.

You look lovely.
Ready to go?

Really, Mason? You're taking
my roommate out on a date?

You're obviously just
trying to make me jealous.

No, I moved on.

You only moved on this far!

Alex, I didn't know
you guys have a history.

If it's a problem, I won't go out with him.

Is it a problem?

No. No. Mm-mm.

No problem.

Really? Because that fake smile
says "problem" to me.

No. No, no, no.
Go. Have fun.

OK, then.
Let's go, Lucy.

I've got a romantic evening planned.

First a romantic dinner,
then a romantic movie,

and then a romantic walk.

Oh, you want to know what else is romantic?
When you get wolfed up and eat a rat.

Don't forget to show her that!

Nice work today, Robuddy.
We're a great team.

Yes we are, boss man.

Where is the Wizards' Lair?

Oh, it's just
through the... Hey...

What did you just ask me?

Where is the Wizards' Lair?

Tell me.

Uh... Justin?

Um... Justin?

Justin!

Zeke, I get it.
You found a new dance partner.

That's terrific and I'm happy for you.

No! That thing just asked
about the Wizard Lair.

Boss man is mistaken.
I asked about a layer cake.

The seven layer cake.

He's lying!
Robots don't lie, Zeke.

The dark-haired
handsome one is right.

See?

No! Don't leave me
alone with him.

Look at him stare at me!

Relax, Zeke.
He's not staring at you.

He has no eyes.

If anything, he's scanning you.

Boss man has a big mouth.

Listen, Robuddy, I don't
know what you're up to,

but I don't like it!

Scan of Zeke complete.

My gosh!
Harper, wake up!

I found him!
Who, Jeremy from science?

Oh, this is terrible timing.
I'm with Zeke now.

No, I found Lucy's boyfriend.

Justin was right. He's lost
in the Bermuda Triangle.

Oh, I get it.

Lucy's not back from her date with Mason.

Is somebody a little jealous?

What? That's ridiculous.

Look, I did some research.

I checked compass variations against
the weather patterns that night.

Now, if I did my math correct,

Donny's plane landed
somewhere right... here.

Oh, my gosh!

You did math?

You are so jealous!

Hey! How was your date?
Where did he take you?

Did he try to impress you by
running faster than a squirrel?

Yes! He's so cute.

And tomorrow night we're...
I think I found Donny!

What?! Where is he?

I believe he's on some island
in the Bermuda Triangle.

Now, let's go find him!
Alex!

I can't believe you did this for me.

Well...
Well, that's Alex for ya.

Always thinking of others.

With no ulterior motive whatsoever.

She just gives and gives,
just keeps on giving...

Let's get out of here.

Always thinking of others.

Oh, maybe this is someone else
she can do something nice for.

Is Lucy here?

She seems to have forgotten some
of her lipstick on my face and...

Where's Alex?
She's not here.

Oh, kippers! Now I have to
draw these on again tomorrow.

Lucy's not here, either.

Sorry, they went to go find her
lost love in the Bermuda Triangle.

The Bermuda Triangle?

No, no, no, I can't believe
she would take that risk!

I have to go and get Alex!

I mean, Lucy!

Oh, mushy peas, I mean Alex!

Are you sure that this is
the island where Donny landed?

Well, when it comes to my magic, it
doesn't usually go as I planned,

but I am encouraged by the fact

that there is a ghost
over there by an old airplane.

Donny?
Lucy?!

Oh, my gosh.
It's like he's seen a ghost.

How many times do you get
to use that one, right?

Lucy! I can't believe
you're here.

I lost hope of ever seeing you again.

Donny, this is Alex.
She helped me find you.

Thank you for reuniting me
with my love, Lucy,

and bringing her
to this lonely, lonely island.

There is no one to talk to here

except the tribe of monkeys I've
been feuding with over coconuts.

Coconut!

Ha! It's mine now!

Aww. I did a good thing.

Uh, Lucy? Hey...

Uh, if you're gonna stay here,

there's a small fee for
leaving the apartment early.

Three months' rent should be good.

Of course.

Oh, I forgot my purse.

Oh, it's OK.
I'll dig through it myself.

That's weird.
My wand isn't working.

Uh, that's the thing
about the Bermuda Triangle.

Once you're here, you can't get out.

Oh my gosh, I'm stuck on this island?!

Well, now this feels like one of my plans.

Hey! Hey, what are you
doing in here?

Nothing, boss man.
Just a little light reading.

Hey! Hey, I didn't
program you to do that.

Justin, have you seen the...?

I knew there was something
wrong with this robot!

Now do you believe me, Justin?
Shut up and help me out, Zeke!

OK. Hah!

Later, losers.

What the heck was that?
It must've malfunctioned.

I came in and he was
scanning my spell book.

A large robot just sprinted
out of the restaurant.

It appears that even people who
don't eat food hate your food.

He... He ran away?
Yes, but we've got bigger problems.

Alex has run off with Lucy to the Bermuda Triangle.
We've got to go find her.

OK, you're gonna have to
go do that by yourself,

because there's something
going on with that robot.

Fine. Flash me there.
I'll bring her back.

It's not that easy.
Magic doesn't always work in the Triangle.

You're gonna need these.

Bermuda shorts.
Put them on.

They get rid of the magnetic current
that interferes with our magic.

Toad in a hole, these are horrid.

Good luck. Up, down, up, down,
circle, square, triangle.

I didn't think those shorts were that bad.

I got a pair just like 'em at home.
I know you do.

That's why we don't hang out
in the summertime. Come on.

Oh, my gosh. There has to be
a way out of here.

Mason! You came for me!

You did come for me, right?
Because Lucy's already with someone,

so forget that, that's over.

Yes, I'm here for you.

Once I heard you went on this wild
quest to find Lucy's lost love,

I knew you still had feelings for me.

What?

You...? OK, you think I went on
this crazy, dangerous expedition

just because I was a
little jealous over a guy

wearing the ugliest shorts
I've ever seen in my life?

These magical Bermuda shorts happen
to be our only way out of here.

Well, then I love them.

I bet these shorts look uglier
on me than they do on you.

Oh, you want an ugly contest?
Bring it on.

Never mind. You win.

Shut up!

Those two are so in love.

All right, let's get go before
the monkeys throw coconuts at us

because we're wearing these shorts.

Do you have the spell for me?

Yes.

Here is the "In Through The Out
Door" spell, Master Gorog.

Shh! Not here.

I'm undercover.

No one knows what's coming.

I know, the evil laugh doesn't
really work with this face.