05x17 - Beach Blanket Bizarro

[bunniefuu]

All right, not only am I the worlds greatest roommate, I’m also the world's greatest travel agent.

Our Spring break problems are over.

Sabrina, I know how badly you wanna' go to Florida, but I'm not sleeping in somebody’s car!

You don’t have to.

We are staying at The Surfside Motel in Pelican Cove, Florida.

It’s the hottest place for Spring break this year.

A twenty-four hour party.

Spellman, how did you pull this off?

Oh, while you were all whining about not having plans, I was surfing the net for a place to surf.

Plus, I got some Jeb Bush flippers on eBay.

I take back what I said about you this morning.

You rock!

Girls, man your bikinis, because we are heading south for Spring break!

I’m guessing you’re not jumping around because of the new hand drier in the restroom?

No.

If we finish our mid-terms by next week we will be in Pelican Cove, Florida.

That is, if you give me the week off.

Of course I will.

With all the studying you’ve been doing, you deserve a fun Spring break.

Cruising the strip, tanning on the beach, ogling the lifeguards.

Hey, can I go?

Hey, Josh!

Guess where you’ll be kissing me next week?

Argh.

on your neck?

Yes, but you’ll be doing it Pelican Cove.

We’re all going to Florida!

Alright, yes!

Hey, I’ve been wanting to do some scuba-diving, now we can do it together.

Oh, that would be fun.

As long as we don’t have to go in the water.

Salt’s m*rder on my hair.

Although I do look fabulous in neoprene.

Me too.

What about Kevin, are you gonna' invite him?

I don’t know.

I mean, Kevin and I haven’t been dating that long.

I.

I want him to go, but I don’t wanna' put him on the spot.

Oh, come on!

I put guys on the spot all the time.

It’s fun to watch the blood rush to their faces.

Asking Kevin to go on our first trip together is a big deal.

I need to think about it.

Hey, what’s going on?

Argh, we got new hand-drier's in the bathroom.

Dou you wanna' come to Florida with us for Spring break?

Yeah, I'm there!

Morgan!

You don’t have to thank me now.

But FYI, I’m a size four.

Well, thank goodness Sabrina’s gonna be spending Spring break working in the coffee shop.

Unless someone accidentally gave her the week off to go to Florida.

Hilda?

Well, Sabrina has been working so hard, I thought she deserved a week of R and R with her roommates and Kevin.

Kevin’s going too?

Let the debauchery begin.

Look, let’s not panic.

This is Sabrina we’re talking about.

A mature, responsible college student.

Well, I suppose you’re right.

I mean, after all, we took many a Spring break sojourn ourselves.

Oh, remember that fabulous trip we took to the acropolis with those adorable fraternity brothers?

Oh-oh!

Just think, Florida.

There’ll be guys from all over the Eastern seaboard.

Remember, we said no talk of Spring break until after we’re done studying for our last exam.

Sorry.

Oh, I got the cutest little pink bikini today.

This trip is gonna' be so great.

Even the drive down will be fun.

Yeah, you and Kevin, Josh and Morgan, and me and Elroy Jetson.

Wow, no one has called me that since second grade.

I just wish I knew if Kevin was going because he wants to have fun in Florida, or because he thinks of me as his girlfriend.

The guys been dating you for six weeks.

You’re his girlfriend.

He wrote a song about you.

He also wrote a song about Janet Reno.

You’ll have a whole week together.

That should be plenty of time to find out how he feels about you.

You’re right.

I just have to talk to him, ask him where he stands.

And, find out if he has a brother.

What are you guys doing here?

We were just in the neighbourhood.

For no special reason.

It’s not like we wanna' talk about Florida.

You do know that they get hurricanes there this time of year.

And mosquitoes as big as my cousin Estelle.

OK, you didn’t come here to talk to me about the weather and blood sucking relatives.

You’re right.

Sabrina, it’s just that, we’re concerned about you going away on Spring break unchaperoned.

I started thinking about the college vacations I took, like that night in Naples when I wound up in a fountain with two massive.

gladiators, it.

I think I made my point.

Look, there’s nothing to worry about.

I’m going with all my good friends and a guy I just happen to be dating.

It’s that last part that we’re worried about.

So, what you’re saying is, you don’t trust me.

No, we’re not saying that.

It’s just that, sometimes young people can get caught up in the passion of the moment and.

do things they might later regret.

Like floating down a canal in Venice wearing nothing but a fig leaf and two single serving pizzas.

Look, just because you made mistakes when you were young, doesn’t mean that I’m going too.

I’m a responsible adult and I think that I’ve proven that time and time again.

I need you to trust me.

Can you do that?

Of course we can.

We could just not give her the money to go.

That would work.

if someone hadn’t accidentally given her an advance on her pay-cheque.

What do you want from me?

I’m accident prone.

Here’s my idea.

We check into a really posh hotel near Sabrina.

You two keep an eye on her while I enjoy a vigorous massage with hot mint-oil.

Sabrina is leaving tomorrow.

We’ve gotta' do something quick.

Let’s see what the magic book has under good, clean fun.

I’ve never used that chapter.

Here we go.

A good clean fun consultant.

Hey, kids!

What’s shaking?

Oh my gosh, Frankie Avalon!

I loved you in all those beach movies.

Oh, I cried when you and Annette broke up in {\i }Beach Blanket Bingo{\i }

And, and the way you shook your hips in {\i }How to Stuff a Wild Bikini{\i }

made no impression on me what so ever.

Frankie, I’ve always wanted to tell you something.

You’re swell.

Super swell.

Oh, listen girls, I appreciate all your fawning but, why exactly, am I here?

Our niece, Sabrina, is going to Pelican Cove for Spring break.

Pelican Cove?

Cowabunga!

That place is the swingiest!

Is she bringing her board?

No.

But she is bringing her boyfriend, Kevin.

Oh, I get the picture.

I got the perfect thing.

Sabrina and Kevin on the beach in the sun, all they’ll have is some good, clean fun!

Oh, thank you for infusing our lives with wholesomeness.

Say, by the way, what are you and your swinging hips doing later?

Hey, I saw them first.

Back off!

I saw him first!

I was the first one to see his very first film.

Crazy chicks.

Oh, great!

We made it to Pelican Cove.

Let the parties begin!

Is it possible to get sun-stroke through tinted glass?

Spellman, it’s amazing you pulled this off.

Yeah, you’re awesome.

As in, awesome, like, "travel agent" awesome, or like, "long term relationship" awesome?

Well, let’s put it this way, I’d book all my vacations with you.

What’s that supposed to mean?

Josh, take my picture.

Hey, why don’t I take it of everyone?

Come on, get in before we mutate into crazed party animals.

Ready?

Alright.

Wow, check out this retro furniture.

Yeah, it’s so Donna Reed meets Don Ho.

I’ll get us checked in.

Harvey?

Sabrina?

What are you doing here?

Checking out.

What are you doing here?

Checking in.

Wow.

So, you look good.

Well, you haven’t seen my sunburn.

It’s about the same colour as your hair.

which I like.

Thanks.

Hey, Kinkle!

In the car, we gotta' hit the road!

I’m sorry, but I really have to go.

It was great seeing you.

What’s the matter?

We can still hug, can’t we?

Of course.

As soon as I grow a new layer of skin on my back.

See you.

See you.

Hey Red, you’re up.

Sorry.

Welcome to the Surfside Motel.

The number one home of bodacious beach bunnies and all their honey’s.

Oh, well, we’re the Spellman bunny and honey party.

You came to the right place.

You kids are in for one neat-o week.

Neat-o?

Wait a minute.

It looks like there must be some kind of convention going on here.

Either that, or everything in my suitcase is suddenly out of style.

Hey, you guys, where’s the party?

Where else, man?

The beach!

Follow us.

We’re gonna have a swinging time.

Well, you know, at times, a few people at conventions get carried away.

All right, sometimes hundreds of people get carried away.

This is scary.

Yeah, it’s like we’re in the twilight zone.

Well, we’ll know for sure if a lifeguard turns out to be Rod Serling.

Hey you rocking chicks and cats, welcome to the cove.

I’m Beachdoggie and this is Birdbrain.

Yeah, and I’m Birdbrain.

That guy's a buffoon!

When he’s that buff, he can put up with a lot of oon.

I can’t hear the dialogue.

We might miss a key story point.

Hey, are you guys going to the big bonfire tonight?

We’re roasting weenies and making s'mores.

Wow!

We don’t wanna' miss that.

Hey, beach bums.

Surfs up, last one in iss a rotten egg.

That’s Tad, isn’t he dreamy?

Gosh, is he dreamy.

did I just say Dreamy?

Did I just say Gosh?

Sabrina, I thought we were supposed to be at the wildest beach in Florida.

Instead, we’re hanging out with "Cats" and "Chicks" in super neat-o city.

I’ve got it!

They’re all pod people.

Sabrina, didn’t you look at any pictures of this place before you made the reservations?

I swear, when I booked the motel it didn’t look anything like this.

Oh yeah right.

All of a sudden it just changed magically.

My aunts are so dead!

It’s for you.

Hello?

Aunt Zelda, you’re busted!

Sabrina, what are you talking about?

Don’t play innocent with me.

I know you put a spell on this place because you don’t want me to have any fun.

Oh, that is not true.

We do want you to have fun.

just, good, clean fun.

That is so sick!

Well, you know, spell or no spell, I’m going to have a Spring break so hot it’ll melt the plastic sofa in the motel lobby.

You don’t think she’ll do anything rash, do you?

She’s gonna' make our trip to the acropolis look like quilting bee.

Hey, Josh, great news, our nightmare is over.

I just booked us two rooms at a major party hotel in Fort Lauderdale.

OK, well it’s not actually in Fort Lauderdale, but it’s everglades adjacent.

Did you hear that?

They’re going to a major party hotel.

Finally!

This snoozer’s coming alive.

Hey Hildie, would you mind if I sat on your lap for this part?

Ewgh!

So, come on guys, get your stuff.

Let’s get out of here.

Well, I don’t know Sabrina, this place is kind of fun.

I’d just as soon stay here.

You can’t be serious.

Why?

Because this retro thing is neat-o.

No, it’s not.

It’s like a horrible, evil kind of neat-o.

I know Roxie’s not going to go for this.

She’s not only going, she’s gone.

Oh, this movie stinks!

I’m calling my cable operator.

Sorry Sweetcorn, I guess the fellas and I got a little too rambunctious.

Let me guess.

You wanna' stay here too?

Heck, yeah!

This place is the most!

I just learned how to watusi, watch.

This isn’t happening!

Look, we could be on a beach in Fort Lauderdale right now partying like rock stars.

Fort Lauderdale, Pelican Cove, what’s the difference?

I’m with my best girl.

I’d party with you anywhere.

Oh, I’m glad you feel that way Kevin.

You know, I’ve been wanting to talk to you.

Swell!

Talk away.

I know we’ve been dating over a month, but I just wanna' know how you feel about.

Hey!

Anybody know how to play the guitar?

Yeah, I do!

Swinging.

Gosh, you look like Ricky Nelson.

And you look like Dennis The Menace.

Well, like they say, if all else fails, do the monkey.

Crazy.

Who needs high heels when you can have high hair?

I guess we know who’s responsible for depleting the ozone layer.

You know, I have to admit, this sixties thing is kinda' keen.

So, how about you and Tad?

I know.

Not only am I dating a surfer but when he says golly, I don’t wanna' hurl.

Wow.

What is it about this place?

I was all set for some out of control partying but, for some reason, all I wanna' do is have.

Good, clean fun?

Exactly.

So, have you had a chance to talk to Kevin yet?

No.

Every time I bring up the subject, he decides either give a concert or learn a new dance.

Yeah, his Pelican Stomp is the wiggiest.

Well, tonight, at the clam bake, I’m gonna' take him on a romantic, moonlit walk and figure out exactly where we are in this relationship.

That is, if I can get my hair through the door.

Hey, Morgan, do you wanna' go, argh, hike up to the cliff?

Watch the waves break?

Oh, I can’t leave now.

I’m tied for first place in the limbo contest.

Golly, you sure are cute.

Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable?

Like my arms?

And, still, I’m not gagging.

Now, think hard.

Do any of you remember climbing out of a pod?

Well, we’ve finally got a chance to be alone.

Kevin, can I ask you something?

Sure, but, I wanna' ask you something too.

You go first.

How do you sleep with that hair-do?

Kevin, we need to talk about our relationship.

I’m not sure how you feel about us.

Well, I’ll tell you exactly how I feel.

I like to think about you.

You like to think about me.

We’re just like birds of a feather ‘cause we’re having so much fun together.

I’m gonna' k*ll my aunts for this.

# We have fun, it’s true, in everything we say and do but a girl really needs to know if a guy's just a friend or if he’s her beau.

# That’s why I like to think about you and you like to think about me.

Rain or shine, in any kind of weather you and I are having fun together.

Kevin, that was a blast, but not particularly informative.

Hey, look!

Some crazy kids are starting a hula-hoop contest.

Let’s get lost!

Well, we may not be defining our relationship but at least I know what hang ten means now.

Isn’t surfing nifty?

The niftiest!

Hey, Josh!

Wow, that was the living end.

I think I’m ready to surf solo now.

Roxie, chicks don’t surf.

Why not?

They’re just supposed to sit on a guy's board and look good.

Oh, really?

Well, for your information, this chick's not a hood ornament.

That’s one cookie gal.

Hello, ladies.

You shouldn’t expose that lovely skin to the harmful rays of the sun.

If you’re interested in sun-block I'm holding.

Hello, there.

This isn’t hair, it’s the Washington monument.

Hey, nice parapets.

Thanks, I work out.

So, where’s the queen of the castle?

I don’t know.

Morgan was supposed to meet me here a half hour ago, but I guess she got tied up, or lost track of time.

It’s a toss up.

Oh, my gosh!

Dig that crazy chic on the surfboard.

Wow!

Wow, I never knew chicks could surf.

We’re cookie that way.

Maybe you can sit on my board sometime.

Groovy!

I can’t believe we’re going home tomorrow.

Me either.

I hate the idea of going to physics class Monday morning.

You know, unless I can wear clam-diggers.

Yeah, it’s been a pretty crazy trip.

I mean, I had fun, but it wasn’t exactly how I imagined Spring break would be.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Do you know what I wish?

Oh no, you’re not going to start singing, are you?

Why would I sing?

No reason.

Argh, what were you gonna say?

Just that I wish Morgan and I could have spent more time together.

I can relate.

Since we got here, Kevin and I have spent exactly twelve watusi free seconds alone.

And, Morgan always has to be the centre of attention, and, that’s not me.

You know, I like just walking along the beach, maybe even having an actual conversation.

Yeah, me too.

Wow, look at that sky.

Yeah, it’s beautiful.

And it’s nice to have someone to watch it with.

Yeah.

I wish Morgan and I could talk the way you and I do.

Argh, maybe we should get back?

Yeah.

Or, we could stay here and watch the sunset?

I like your idea better.

# It’s the end of Spring break.

It hurts to say goodbye.

It’s the end of Spring break.

I think I’m gonna cry.

Hi.

Oh, I am having so much fun this week.

Wasn’t it great when we went horse-back riding on the beach?

Argh, that was you, and every guy on the beach but me.

So, Roxie, where does this leave you and me?

Well, it leaves you here, and I’m catching the next wave out of town.

# We’ve all had a blast

on the surf and the sand.

We’ll be back next year

'cause our boards don’t work on land.

Sabrina, I just wanna' tell you that I feel like we’ve gotten a lot closer this week.

I’m really glad you’re my girlfriend.

Girlfriend?

Well do we have to put labels on our relationship?

Well, no, I guess not.

Well, maybe we should talk about it.

I was kind of hoping that we could.

Do the mash-potato?

That’d be swell!

You were wrong, Salem, that movie was adorable.

Well, it’s like I always say, there’s nothing better than good, clean fun.

Frankie, you’re back!

You bet I am.

Come on, girls, let’s do the swim.