05x19 - Sabrina, the Activist

[bunniefuu]

Spellman, this has got to stop!

This is the third night you’ve woken me up because you can’t sleep.

Well, third night’s the charm.

Look, something’s obviously bothering you.

What’s going on?

Nothing, I just can’t sleep.

I know the feeling.

I’ll be on the couch.

And don’t tell me nothing’s wrong, you’ve been in a funk for a week.

Even your perkiness has lost it’s pop.

That is so not true!

I am at the poppin’ peak of my perkiness!

I’m totally funkless!

Absolutely nothing is bothering me.

Okay, now something’s bothering me.

How’s the car coming?

Is it supposed to sound like that?

No, it’s not supposed to sound like that.

I’m afraid the Zelda mobile is dead.

It can’t be.

She was fine yesterday when I drove her to the Piggly Wiggly.

I’m telling you, there’s nothing more I can do.

It’s time to pull the plug and buy a new car.

What? I can’t do that.

Hilda’s not back from her singles cruise for another week and I’ve never bought a car by myself before.

There’s a time you’d never been blonde before but you gave that a sh*t.

Hi, do you notice anything different about me?

Not only is your car dead but your niece needs a smog check.

You poor dear, I had no idea you were so upset.

Why does everyone keep assuming I’m upset?

I’m just a little damp.

Sabrina, you have a black cloud over your head.

That only happens when a witch is in a funk and keeping it all bottled up.

We’re a very literal species.

Well, let’s hope I never become a bleeding heart liberal.

Is this about Kevin?

No.

School?

School's fine, Kevin and I are ancient history and that’s totally OK.

If you don’t mind, I’d like to take a look and see what your little cloud is made of.

Hmm, that’s funny.

I’m seeing a lot of sadness over your break up with Kevin.

Lingering feelings for Harvey.

Conflicted emotions about Josh.

And, you’re clearly overwhelmed with school work.

Not even!

Some times it just feels like I’m being pulled in so many different directions.

You know, like everyone expects me to be perfect all the time.

The only person who expects you to be perfect is you.

We all love you no matter what.

Thank you aunt Zelda

And, you see?

Just by getting it off your chest, your little black cloud is gone.

But what if it comes back?

I don’t wanna' be depressed again.

And that wet look is totally dead.

Well, Sabrina, the only way to be sure that a black cloud won't return is to get out of yourself.

Do something that’s truly for others.

Like what?

Well, you could help me shop for a used car.

Oh, I don’t wanna' set my sights too high.

Maybe I’ll start with bathing lepers and work my way up.

Hey, did anybody see this?

I’m thinking of going to the big protest rally this afternoon at the Mayflower Apartments.

Oh, yeah, I heard about that.

They want to, argh, tear down that old, historic building and make way for a new parking structure.

I am so there.

I’ve been to tones of demonstrations.

And I don’t mean to get all braggy, but I’ve actually been arrested.

twice.

Once with Martin Sheen.

Wow.

A few more arrests and you’d be qualified to be president.

Well, you can definitely count me in.

Really?

Absolutely.

If there’s one thing this university needs, it’s more parking.

Morgan, the protest is to save the building and stop the parking structure.

Oh.

Have a nice time.

Josh and I are just gonna stay here and snuggle on the couch.

Actually, I’d like to go to the rally.

The Mayflower’s architectures are pretty amazing.

I’d love to get some photographs before they level the place.

Crumbling bricks over taut flesh?

Good choice.

Miles, how about you?

Challenging authority?

Public insurrection?

General mayhem?

I’m all over it.

Hey, this is our first group act of civil disobedience.

Wo-who!

Wo-who?

That’ll go over great at the protest.

All we are saying is give wo-who a chance.

Salem, I did it.

I found the perfect car at the first dealer.

It’s blue, the leather is practically new and it has the most darling cup holders.

Cup holders?

What about the mileage?

The tread on the tires?

Has the car ever been in a accident?

Oh, I didn’t think to ask, but there’s a lighted make-up mirror on both visors.

Never send a woman to do a cat's job.

Yeah, hello?

Hello, Mrs.Spellman?

Yes, this is Mr.Spellman.

My wife hasn’t made up her mind yet.

What are you doing?

I know she said she liked the car but I can’t let her take it at that price.

Salem, give me that phone.

Let’s just say she’s a lot more competent in the boudoir than she is under the hood.

Hello, this is Mrs.Spellman.

I’m afraid I’ll have to call you back, I’m about to become a widow.

I told you, I can handle this.

Yeah, yeah?

Then why did Mr.Let’s-make-a-deal immediately give me five hundred dollars off?

What?

He said that price was firm.

What makes him think that he can take advantage of me?

You’re a rube?

Save the Mayflower!

Save the Mayflower!

Save the Mayflower.

Oh, this is just what I needed, I am totally out of my funk.

I haven’t even thought of my tragic break-up, my grades, my lack of direction.

OK, well not as much as I was before.

Hey, save the Mayflower.

This is so morally gratifying and I’m getting fairly decent upper-body work-out.

It’s a wonderful thing you kids are doing here.

Have some lemonade.

Oh, it’s nothing, you know.

We’re just holding up a few signs, raising a little a awareness.

Listen, lawman, before you break out the canine units or water-cannon, may I remind you that the first amendment of the US constitution clearly states that we have a right for free assembly.

Jeez, Rox, give it a rest would ya?

Officer Carmichael?

Yeah.

I didn’t recognise you.

You lose some weight?

Yeah, yeah, I’m on the zone.

and I missed you at the no nukes rally.

I had a save the whale's brunch.

You know, these cornices are one of the best example of Romanesque revival in the city.

Yeah, we tried to get them declared an historical landmark but we didn’t make the cut, and now we got thirty days to pack up and move out.

That’s terrible.

Are a lot of young families like yours gonna be displaced by the parking lot?

Half the tenants are families with kids and the other half are seniors.

Oh, I’ve been living here for fifty years.

Married my husband right there on this stoop.

lost him in the laundry room.

I don’t know how we’re all gonna find a place to live.

So, they’re not just knocking down a building, they’re destroying people's lives.

Look, maybe it’s not over yet.

You know, maybe this protest will really do some good.

Oh, you’re an optimistic little fire-cr*cker, aren’t you?

We hoped the protest would attract some media attention, but, so far, none of the newspapers or TV stations have returned our calls.

Hey.

I’m the media.

I could write a piece for the Adams paper and then word would spread, and people would learn about your plight and the university wouldn’t dare throw you out on the street.

Well, that’s very sweet of you.

Now get your little hinnie out of my flower bed, you’re k*lling my petunias.

I had a feeling you’d be back.

That car is just calling out your name.

I know, I just love.

No!

Cars.

A subject I know quite a lot about.

I can see that.

Well, like I told your husband, I can give it to you for eleven thou'.

Well, that seems like a very good price.

Meow.

Argh, if I hadn’t noticed the excessive wear on the tires and the shoddy repair work to the fender.

Why, I wouldn’t give you a penny over nine thousand.

You’re a pretty tough little negotiator.

What say I throw in some brand new tires, shave off a few bucks for the fender and I give it to you for ten-five?

Well, that seems like a very reasonable compromise.

Meow.

Oh, hush up, kitty.

Where do I sign?

Would you excuse me for a moment?

What are you doing?

Can’t you see?

He’s ripping you off.

He seems like a perfectly honest man.

Yeah, and I don’t use your toothbrush to clean my ears.

Oh, that’s disgusting!

I’m sorry, but I think I’m going to do a little comparison shopping.

I really love your angle.

People before parking, it’s inspired.

Of course, no one ever stands up for the people who need parking.

Hey.

Hi.

You don’t think it’s too sentimental?

Not at all.

You know, I’ve gotta' say, I’m really impressed.

Most people our age are too self-absorbed to get this involved.

Not only do you really care, you put it in print.

As much as I also care about people I’ve never met, we have a seven-thirty dinner reservation.

I wonder if this is why Ralph Nader stayed single?

Oh, one look at his suits would tell you why.

Well, have fun, and don’t eat any endangered species.

Hey, let me know if you need any help.

I don’t think I’m the one that needs the help.

Look, there’s Dean Pitchford.

He’s the one in charge of the demolition of the Mayflower.

Hi, Dean Pitchford.

I’m Sabrina Spellman.

Oh, yes, our resident instigator.

Well, thanks to your article, I had a sleepless night fielding phone calls from parents and trustees.

Maybe you’d sleep better if you did what was right and kept those tenants in their homes.

Or, you know, you could just screen your calls.

Well, thanks, but I wont have to worry about my phone ringing any more.

The board of trustees just had an emergency meeting and resolved the problem.

Oh, that’s great!

Wait a minute, how exactly did you resolve it?

Hi, Mrs.Smiley, I’m so glad you’re here.

I just saw the Dean and he said the board resolved this problem, but he didn’t say how?

Well, apparently your article really put a fire under them.

That’s great!

You must be so happy.

Oh, we don’t have time to be happy.

Now they say we have to be packed up and out of here by next week.

Sabrina, stop b*ating yourself up about this.

Nobody’s blaming you.

Yes, but if I hadn’t written that article.

They were gonna be evicted anyway, just not quite this soon.

Wow, somebody sure has a black cloud over her head.

What?

Oh, I can explain!

Ah, it’s just a weird atmospheric convergence.

there’s no cloud over my head!

No, it’s something we native English speakers call "just an expression".

Sabrina’s upset because they’re evicting everyone at the Mayflower.

That’s.

awful.

And you worked so hard on your little article.

I think that somebody needs to treat herself to a new pair of shoes.

Seriously.

How could the Dean and the board of trustees hear about those people and still be so cold hearted?

Most people don’t react to things like you and I do Sabrina.

That’s because, to the normal world, these people are just faceless strangers.

Well, maybe if they saw the faces of those tenants, they wouldn’t be so apathetic.

Faces?

Of course!

You just gave me an idea, Spellman.

How’s this?

Hot off the laser printer.

I also took the liberty of air-brushing Mrs.Smiley’s mole.

Oh, these photos are perfect.

When people see these faces they’re going to know how important this cause is.

Yeah, I’m still here.

Great!

All right.

We’ll see you tomorrow at three.

Alright!

Channel six is coming to our protest.

Wa-who!

Great!

That’s fantastic!

I’m sorry, am I missing something?

Oh, great news.

Tomorrow we are holding the biggest demonstration that has ever been held at Adams College and three news crews are coming.

And a reporter from the Boston Globe.

A dozen posters, ready to go.

The guy a Kinko’s was so moved he gave me free collating for the rest of my life.

Wow.

These are perfect.

OK, we’ve still got a ton of things to organise.

We’ve gotta plaster these up all over campus.

Well, I can be in charge of that.

Do you wanna' help me, honey?

Josh, I hate to drop a reality b*mb on this little do-gooder convention, but we have plans tonight.

We’re going to the opening of that new club {\i }The Trocadero{\i }

Oh, man.

I totally forgot.

Maybe you could plaster one of these up while you’re there.

Oh, no can do.

The only place Josh’s hands are gonna be' are on me.

I’m sorry, I’m going to have to cancel.

What?

I bought a new dress.

I told everybody that we’re coming and I pulled major strings to get us in.

Morgan, these people are about to lose their homes.

I think that’s a little more important than seeing you and your friends dressed in Saran-Wrap.

Yet again.

Do you really wear Saran-Wrap?

It’s Pleather.

Josh, you can’t just dismiss me.

We promised each other that if we had a disagreement we would, at least, discuss it.

Well, your idea of discussing it means I change my mind.

And it’s been working so well for us.

Well, it’s not working this time.

I’m going with Sabrina.

Of course you are.

Sabrina says jump and suddenly you’re slapping flyers all over a school you don’t even go to.

So, on a scale from one to ten, how uncomfortable do you feel right now?

Very comfortable.

It feels just like home.

You know, I understand if you wanna' be with Morgan.

No, no, no, I wanna' be with you.

I mean here.

working on this.

with you.

I have had it!

I have been to every used car lot on the eastern seaboard.

If one more toupee wearing, polyester clad salesman calls me little lady.

Your worries are over, little lady.

I’ve come across a couple of beauties that I think will be perfect for you.

A seventy-two Oldsmobile?

Salem, that things a land yacht.

Well, as you fade into your golden years you may find yourself spreading a little and you’ll want a nice bench seat.

This is ridiculous!

I am going to get that little blue car we saw yesterday.

Fine.

Get the car, but since I’m the one maintaining it, at least let me look under the hood.

All right.

But, for goodness sake, this time, could you try and be a little more discrete?

How does it look?

The water pumps new but it looks like the cylinder head might be loose.

Wish I had a wrench.

Well, hello little lady.

Have I got good news for you.

Talked to my manager, he has agreed to your nine thousand dollar offer.

Oh, well, that’s wonderful.

Let’s go sign the papers.

I’ll be there in just a sec.

Salem, he’s gonna meet our price.

U-oh.

I'm stuck.

Is there a problem?

Um, no.

It’s just.

the.

well, my cat is stuck.

I can see that, but don’t you worry, we’ll take him out of there and if anything goes wrong, then we’ll just get you a new cat.

Any colour you’d like.

People before parking!

People before parking!

Spellman, you rock!

This is so much better than the genetically engineered corn rally.

I just wanted to tell you.

Thanks.

Coming from you that’s quite a compliment.

What’s with the new jewellery?

It’s not really a protest unless I’ve chained myself to something.

We all have our little traditions.

Hey, Miles.

Have you seen Josh?

He’s supposed to be corralling the news crews.

No, I haven’t, but I have made amazing discovery.

Chicks dig social revolutionaries.

Down with the man!

Sabrina, we’ve got problems.

Josh, what’s the matter?

Where are the news crews?

They’re all covering a breaking story.

Apparently it’s the biggest thing since baby Jessica.

Paramedics are standing by as fire fighters work tirelessly to free the terrified feline.

We’ll keep you updated as this tragic situation unfolds.

Meanwhile, let’s see if we can get a comment from the grief stricken owner.

Oh, really, he’s fine.

So, you’re saying you can just throw me over your shoulder?

Gotta go.

Here.

Well, he’s truly like a member of the family.

Sure.

Hey, Aunt Zelda.

What are you doing?

You’re totally down grading my coverage.

Well, I’m sorry, but I can’t use my magic with all these people watching.

I have an idea.

Do you think you can keep everyone’s attention on you for a minute?

Well, that shouldn’t be a problem.

Salem, you’re ruining my protest.

Yeah.

Like I planned on waving my butt on national television.

Can’t you just suck it in a little?

I am!

I’ve gotta cut back on the Nachos.

On the plus side, I'm now a celebrity.

No, your butt's a celebrity.

Not the first time.

It think we’re gonna' have to get the jaws of life This might take a couple of hours.

I don’t have a couple of hours!

Oh!

Is he all right?

Are there any missing limbs?

Oh, he’s fine.

No harm done.

Until we get home.

Cut.

Let’s pack it in.

Hey, did you know the students are storming the administration building over at Adams?

No.

It’s not a cat stuck in an engine block but.

it’s better than nothing.

Let’s go.

Let’s role.

So, should we go sign the papers?

Absolutely.

There’s one slight problem.

Your cat seems to have done some damage while he was stuck in there.

I would say two thousand dollars worth.

So, we’re back to the original asking price?

Right you are, little lady.

Well, in that case, I’d like to trade in my cat.

Do you have a ninety-seven calico with low mileage?

We're reporting live, from Adams College, where administrators are planning on turning fifty residents of the Mayflower Apartments out onto the cold streets of Boston.

Excuse me!

Can I have your attention!

People, please!

Can I please have your attention!

Quiet down!

Let the man speak.

After careful consideration of the plight of the Mayflower residents, which was fortunately brought to our attention.

, Adams College is prepared to compensate the tenants by providing housing in the Candour Arms.

A new residential community on the other side of the campus.

You call that compensation?

How can you insult these people by asking them to move from their beloved homes into pre-fab cardboard boxes?

Yeah!

Yeah!

Do these pre-fab cardboard boxes have washers and dryers in each unit?

Yes.

And dishwashers?

Yes, sir.

How are appliances supposed to compare to a lifetime of memories?

Compared to my memories they win hands down.

When do we move?

That’s the spirit.

Oh, what’s the matter?

Post protest blues?

I guess.

You know, the university is still gonna' tear down that building.

I just feel like we settled.

Sabrina, this wasn’t about a building, it was about people.

You said so yourself, and they’re happy.

I don’t think they feel like they’re settling.

You did a good thing.

You really think so?

Yeah, I do.

You’re pretty amazing.

Sabrina.

Sabrina, I just wanna' tell you how wonderful this all is.

Thanks to you and your boyfriend, I get a new home.

Oh, well I’m glad it all worked out, and he’s not my boyfriend.

He already has a girlfriend.

Actually, not any more.

Morgan and I broke up this morning.

What?

Really?

Oh, Josh, I’m so sorry.

No she’s not.

It’s really over this time, he had his mind made up.

Nothing that I was gonna' say or wear was gonna' change it.

I’m sorry, Morgan.

I know how much you cared about him.

I did.

But, in the end I guess I was just too much woman for him.

You know I really think that he would rather be with someone like you.

Really?

Did he.

did he say that?

I mean, did he actually mention me by name?

I didn’t say you, I said someone like you.

Oh.

right.

Oh, I just.

I don’t know what I’m gonna' do, Sabrina.

I just feel so depressed.

All I can say is, you’ve gotta' get out of yourself.

You know, you’ve gotta' focus all your energies on something positive.

That’s excellent advice, but I think I’ll just stay with my own tried and true method.

Hi, Dave.

I’m all ready.

Bye.