- Previously on
"Good Girls"...
- I handled the mortgage.
- How'd you do that?
- This is a robbery.
- No, I'm turning you in.
- Boomer, please!
- It is over!
- No, please!
[screams]
- [shouting]
You can't leave
me here forever.
- There he is.
- [grunts]
- She's gonna cut
his penis off.
- Ooh!
- What are you doing?
- Texting a picture of your
penis to my daughter.
- No.
- If you go to the cops,
so will I.
- Oh, hell no.
- I mean, it was either you
or my 11-year-old.
You know?
- Hostage peen.
- [laughs]
- We'll put the vroom,
vroom, vroom
back in your engine.
- Do you think he's
sleeping around?
- Your child bride wears
very expensive underwear.
- It was stupid.
- Nancy and I are suing you
for custody.
- Eculizumab.
It improves renal function.
It's also 10 grand a month
out of pocket.
- You're short.
- You're an idiot.
We're normal people.
- How many Jujubes did Jen
take from Sam?
- 36.
- Kenny, go inside.
- But your friend's helping me.
- Maybe there's something
you can help me out with.
- What's that?
- You ladies got passports?
[suspenseful music]
*
- He wants us to pick something
up for him in Canada.
- What?
- I thought we were done
with this.
- He says it's better
if we don't know.
- Mmm.
Mmm-hmm.
*
I mean, come on.
Oh, guys, seriously?
- Just say it.
- dr*gs.
Up our asses.
- What?
- Oh, yeah.
Otherwise you gotta swallow
the baggie,
which frankly seems even
more uncomfortable.
You know, I'd almost
rather shove--
- No, nuh-uh.
That's not gonna happen.
- Oh, you'd rather just declare
a kilo at customs?
- I don't wanna smuggle dr*gs
at all.
- Don't say "kilo."
- Okay, when are we
supposed to do this?
- Friday.
- Well, I can't Friday.
I have a home visit
for my custody case.
- So you're gonna tell the man
with the crying skull tattoo
that Friday doesn't
work for you?
- Fine, but we have to be back
in time for me to clean up
and get all the dr*gs
out of my cavities.
- He didn't say it was dr*gs,
you guys.
It--It could be something else,
okay?
- Like what?
- g*ns?
- How is that better?
- Can't fit up your ass.
- Mama?
I had a nightmare.
- Same.
- I'm sorry, bubba.
I'll come rub your back, okay?
- Mmm-hmm.
- You guys,
he said if we do this,
he'll forget about the money.
And we're done.
It's over.
- What if we don't?
- That didn't seem
like an option.
Come on, sweetie.
Let's go to bed.
You ever seen
"Locked Up Abroad?"
- No.
- Good.
[slurps]
[melancholy music]
*
- Sadie.
Sadie, Sadie, Sadie, Sadie,
Sadie, Sadie, Sadie,
Sadie, Sadie.
- [groans]
- Kids need sleep to grow.
- Oh, wah.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, hey.
So what do you think
they're gonna ask
on this home visit thing?
- I don't know.
- No, but like,
what do they wanna know?
- Just, like,
if you're a good mom.
- Hmm.
So I shouldn't speak to them
in my wee little leprechaun
voice, then?
Do you think that would
embarrass my favorite child?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, okay.
I just know your dad and Nancy
are gonna be, like,
wearing slacks.
- His and hers Dockers.
- Eww.
Totally.
- Nancy's planning a menu.
- Wait, they're serving food?
- Scones.
Like, a tea or something.
- Since when are they
80 and British?
Hey, don't worry.
I'm gonna totally
slay this thing.
- You better.
I like it here.
[kisses]
- Hi--Hey, uh,
what do I owe this pleasure?
- $4,000 we owe.
The mortgage.
We're going to default
again this month.
- Wanna tell me how
you paid for it last month?
- No, thank you.
So I'll pool everything
together,
open all new accounts
in my name,
and I'll start fresh.
- That's a great idea.
- Thank you.
- I mean, it would be
if it was possible.
- I have good credit.
- Yeah, I mean, you haven't had
a job since high school
in the DQ.
So--
- Because I've been raising
four children.
- Trust me, if I was the guy
handing out credit,
I--I mean, I would give you
all the credit in the world.
Look, I'm--I'm working on it.
Like, our sales are up,
and I feel really good.
If you just--
You know, if you give...
Me some time...
- You look so skinny.
- I was.
You look happy.
- I was.
Well, I gave it 20 years.
[quirky music]
- That bad, huh?
- You have no idea.
- I also think we should cross
the border at Windsor.
Their border patrol's
super nice there.
- How do you know?
- Let's just say I made
a lot of "field trips"
to "Canada" in "high school."
- Why am I not surprised?
*
- Anybody else?
- No, I'm cutting back.
- Now's not the time.
- So we have the passports
and we have directions.
Now we just need a car.
I would say we could take mine,
but it got the boot.
- How many tickets?
- Six is apparently the cutoff.
Now we know.
- Well, Stan needs ours
for the kids.
- I don't want a bunch
of heroin in my car.
I drive my kids in that car.
- Good point.
Could be residue.
*
- We should just borrow a car.
- Or we could just steal one.
- Or we could borrow it
and bring it back, Bonnie.
- From who?
- "We've got Chevys.
We've got Fords.
We've got Chryslers, too."
- No.
- "So come on down
to Boland Motors--"
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- [together] "And we'll put
the vroom, vroom, vroom
back in your engine."
- I said, "no."
[Le Tigre's
"Nanny Nanny Boo Boo"]
*
[beeping]
*
- * Nanny nanny
nanny nanny boo boo *
* Nanny nanny
nanny nanny boo boo *
* Nanny nanny
nanny nanny boo boo *
* Nanny nanny
nanny nanny boo boo *
- Which one should we take?
- Oh, Ken doll!
Barbie's home!
- Yeah, that won't attract
any attention at all.
- We gotta keep it low-key.
- If we were good people,
we'd take a hybrid.
- Oh, but we're not.
- Ooh, responsive headlights.
- Dork.
- No, this is so helpful
at night.
- Hey, check it out, you guys.
Making it rain.
Oh, whoops.
[alarms blaring]
I hit the panic.
- Well, stop hitting panic!
- Oh, my God!
- Turn them off!
- Push the same button!
- You push the buttons, then!
- Don't--
- Oh, my God, Annie!
- Come on!
- Stop it!
- [screams]
[alarms blaring]
- * Nanny nanny
nanny nanny boo boo *
[slurps]
* You'll never get it
I guess this just is too new *
* So what?
.
- Here are your coupons.
Have a fine and frugal morning.
- Saw you put in for
a personal day.
- Hey, your bites
are almost gone.
- We're doing inventory
tomorrow.
- I was hoping they'd get
infected and eat your face off.
- So you can't have
the day off.
Unless--
- Unless what?
- Tell me what you're
doing tomorrow?
- It's personal.
That's why it's called
a personal day.
*
- Were you gonna hit
a bank next?
I mean, what, you think you're
freaking "Oceans 11?"
Well, guess what?
The all-girl version of that
movie is gonna suck.
- Yeah.
'Cause we all know
girls aren't funny.
- Oh, Mr. Petersen.
We haven't seen you
around much.
- Oh, I, uh,
took a bit of a camping trip.
- We love camping.
- Oh, who doesn't?
Hey, you should show them
the pictures from your trip.
- I didn't take any.
- Oh, I'm sure you did.
- Actually my hands
were pretty tied up.
- Huh, what about that one that
you sent to my daughter?
- I'd love to see it.
[chuckles]
*
- I don't wanna
hold up the line.
- [chuckles]
Okay.
- Come on through.
Hey, thanks again
for tomorrow, by the way.
Really appreciate it.
*
- 'Cause I know God
has a plan for me.
[organ music plays]
And if I'm being honest...
- Look alive, baby.
- I'm up.
- It probably does not
involve tequila.
- Amen.
- Amen.
Bless you, brother.
God is good.
- All the time.
- Truly God is good.
Is there anyone else
who wants to testify today?
Anybody at all?
- Right here.
I would.
- Brother Stan.
- [clears throat]
Hi, everybody.
Uh...
I know you all been praying
for our little girl, Sara.
It's been a long, hard road,
and um...
We just wanna say thank you
'cause we needed a miracle.
And, uh...
And we got one.
[chatter]
Baby girl's doing
much better now.
And, uh, that's 'cause the--
the money--
The money that we needed to
help her just, um...
[laughs]
Now, you all know
I'm skeptical, now.
You know, I'm skeptical,
but, uh...
That cash just showed up.
It just appeared.
- All right.
Other people wanna talk.
- Um... Uh, we've been coming
here for a long time.
So I don't know if the person
who did this for us is here
today in this congregation,
but I hope someday
I'll get the chance to meet you
to say thank you
for saving my family.
- All right,
don't hog the mic.
[applause]
- The Lord is good.
- Amen.
[cheers and applause]
- My, my, my, my.
- It broke my heart.
I couldn't see your little girl
so sick like that.
[melancholy music]
- Sheila, are you for real?
- I don't want
a bunch of attention.
- Well, it's too late,
you angel.
Come here.
- No.
- Come here. Come here.
- [laughs]
[applause]
- Praise God.
Praise God!
- Amen.
Let the church say Amen.
- Thank you.
You saved our baby.
- Miracles do happen.
Let the church say Amen.
all: Amen.
- The woman gave us 10 grand.
- Oh, yeah?
What does she get for 20?
- Oh, show me how
I was supposed to do it.
Hmm?
Show me.
- No, she wants a piece,
and you know it.
- Oh, come on.
- Yeah, since high school.
And she's so fake with that,
"I don't want attention."
Bitch, please.
- Are you hearing
yourself right now?
- And then you had to
invite her over?
What am I supposed to cook?
- Cook her spaghetti!
What--What is wrong with you,
is what I'm asking.
- Do not call me crazy.
- Well, if the shoe fits.
Okay,
I'll make this woman dinner.
And when she comes over here,
if she wants another hug,
I'm gonna give her
one of those, too.
Okay, Ruby, she saved
our kid's life.
- Stan--
- We couldn't.
Am I wrong?
Come on, Ruby.
*
Am I wrong?
*
- No, you're not wrong.
*
- You know, you have some fun
on your girls' trip, 'cause...
you really
need to chill.
[BOSCO & Speakerfoxxx's
"sh**t"]
*
- Don't hold the
wheel like that.
- How am I holding it?
- Like you already have
the dr*gs up your butt.
- You're about to cross
the border into Canada.
Please have your passports and
all necessary documentation--
- Do they pull you over
on the way in?
- Well, if they do, it's not
like we have anything
in the car.
Duh.
- * Please get out my face
- I brought Stan's g*n.
- What?
- What?
- Relax.
It's in my purse,
and it's not loaded.
- Why would you do that?
- I thought it was smart
to bring protection.
We're committing a crime
in a foreign country.
- It's Canada!
We're not meeting El Chapo
in Guatemala here!
- El Chapo's actually Mexico.
- Oh, Jesus, whatever.
*
[g*nsh*t sound effect]
*
- What are we doing, you guys?
This is so crazy.
- Yeah, it is.
- What if we get caught?
- I mean, it's not like we have
a choice, right?
- There's always a choice.
- And then what?
What happens when
he shows up again?
- In front of our kids?
- Dude, it's never gonna end.
[suspenseful music]
- Unless we end it.
- Tell me to turn around.
*
Please say it.
Please, please someone say it.
*
[horn honks]
*
[horn honking]
*
- Passports, please.
*
Here you go.
Have a nice day.
.
[upbeat music]
*
- Still think it's dr*gs?
- Worse.
Scrapbooking.
- He said to go
around the back.
[engine revving]
[Indigo Girls'
"Closer to Fine" plays]
- * I went to the doctor
I went to the mountains *
* I looked to the children
* [mumbling]
[clicks]
Damn.
What's your problem?
- We're not at Lilith Fair
right now.
- Mmm, but wouldn't
you rather be?
- Mmm, tough call.
- Damn, someone's in a mood.
- Uh, going through
something with Stan.
- What, did he rub your feet
too much?
Been hugging on you too hard?
- Some woman at church took
credit for the money.
- Wait, for Sara?
What, who?
- Some thirsty skank who's
been after Stan for years.
- [scoffs]
Damn.
I mean, it's Stan.
It's not like she actually
has any kind of in.
- Yeah, but it's the fact
that she has the nerve
to think she does,
and that's enough to bug.
- I feel you.
Mmm.
Mmm-mmm.
- All right.
This doesn't look good.
- So, what happened?
- He doesn't have it.
- What do you mean,
he doesn't have it?
- He doesn't have
the package for us.
- He doesn't have it,
or he won't give it to you?
- Why wouldn't he
give it to me?
- [sighs]
Maybe he wants to keep it
for himself.
- You think?
- [sighs]
Canadians.
What's his name?
- Mike.
Wait, what are you doing?
- Handling it.
- He really seemed like
he didn't have--
Well, what does she think
she's gonna do?
- These boxes,
put one of them--
Half of them on the pallet,
half of them on that pallet.
And there's some--
- Hey.
Beautiful day, eh?
- Mmm.
- Big Mike?
Can I call you Big Mike?
- No, look, I already told your
friend, I don't have--
- No, no, I know.
She's so lame.
She's not the one to talk
to about this, okay?
I know you see us, you think,
"Hey."
You--You think we're some
low-hanging fruit, right?
Little--Little pay day,
a side hustle for you?
- Yeah, what are you gonna
do about it?
- [sighs]
Hey, Mike.
Just--Just humor me, okay?
For a sec here?
Do you have sisters?
- Two.
- Okay, all right.
Well, what do they do?
- [laughs]
One's a receptionist,
one's a teacher.
- Okay, well they sound like
really nice, normal people.
So just for a second,
just picture them
in our position, okay?
They are terrified.
They're in way
over their heads.
And they just need somebody
to give them a break, okay?
Otherwise they are
totally screwed.
Don't you wanna give your
sisters a break, Mike?
You don't wanna
screw your sisters.
I don't get it.
I thought we were connecting.
I mean, I was so nice.
- All right, well,
nice isn't gonna cut it.
both: Whoa!
- Are you serious?
Don't point that at me.
- Relax.
I'm just gonna scare
him a little.
- Damn, gangsta.
- Relax.
- Who are you?
- I'll be right back.
[funky music]
*
So, Mike, my friends--
[g*nsh*t]
- Oh, my god!
- [screaming]
[both screaming]
[all screaming]
- [screaming]
- Oh, my God!
- You sh*t him!
- I didn't mean to!
- I thought you said
it wasn't loaded!
- There must have been
one in the chamber!
- You sh*t me in the foot!
- I'm so sorry!
- Oh, Big Mike!
- What can I do?
- Stay away from me.
Just stay away from me!
Take what you came for
and get out of here.
The box is in back that way.
- Okay, come on.
- Okay.
- [whimpering]
- Forgive me, Lord Jesus.
Have mercy on me.
I did not mean
to sh**t that man.
I pray to Thee for forgiveness
for all my past transgressions.
- It just needs a Band-Aid.
It was a graze.
- In the foot.
- He's being a baby.
He's gonna live.
- May not walk again,
but--
- He's about to get
the best free care
socialized medicine can buy.
- We should all be so lucky.
- I sh*t a man.
- Passports?
[suspenseful music]
*
- Quick trip.
- Uh, yeah.
Just a little shopping.
- Have all the receipts
for your purchases?
*
- That should be everything.
*
- Everything looks in order.
Pull on over to lane three.
- Is that the express lane?
- Search and seizure.
Just need to verify
your purchases,
and you're good to go.
*
[dog barks,
police radio chatter crackles]
*
- Hi, little baby!
- Miss!
Please do not engage the dog.
*
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- Hey, Brian.
Box cutter.
*
- What's that?
- Oh, Jesus.
Oh, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.
- Give me.
Right there.
*
- Be cool.
- Mmm-hmm.
- What did they say?
*
- I don't know.
*
- Have a safe trip home.
Thank you for your patience.
[upbeat pop music]
*
- * When I was younger,
I was insane for fame *
* In big letters
up in lights *
- That dog would have
smelled dr*gs, right?
- Yeah.
- So what is it?
- * I've got something
to say *
- Get in there.
Come on.
- * I'm a little older, but
- Is it--Is it on the inside?
- I don't see anything.
- No, I don't think so.
Guys--
- It's gotta be inside then.
- It's wrapping paper.
It's just wrapping paper.
*
- * I want it
* I own it
- What?
- * I want it
.
- This is it?
- Are we supposed
to knock or something?
[door clangs]
[door rattling]
- Okay.
Okay.
[ODESZA's "La Ciudad"]
*
- Holy mother.
*
- All right, ladies,
this is gonna happen.
*
- Hang on.
*
- Well, tell them we're
at capacity, okay?
- They don't wanna hear that.
- I don't care if that's what
they wanna hear or not.
It's gonna be happening.
Look at this place.
We're already filled up.
- Excuse me.
Hi. Excuse me.
- We're moving double what we
did six months ago,
and we're good.
- I'm tired
of dealing with him.
I don't wanna deal
with him anymore.
No, no, no,
Hey, guys.
- I just need to
know we're good.
- If not, we renegotiate, okay?
Start at 40 crates,
go up only as needed.
- 40?
- Yeah.
- I need you to make
a tally every 100,000.
- No one's gonna show
up at my house,
no guys,
no g*ns?
- I can find ten different guys
to do what they do.
- I'll get on top of that.
- All right.
No, guys, in the back,
let's keep it going.
Let's keep it going.
Yep, yep, yep.
- I want you to keep a tally
every 100,000, understood?
- It's all good.
Just make sure you keep
an eye on your stacks.
It's all gotta be
tight, tight, tight.
I want 100s here, 50s here.
Okay, separate them.
I don't want what happened
last time, okay?
- No, I'm gonna need
to hear you say it.
- We're good.
- [clears throat]
- Can I get you anything else?
- Oh, yeah.
We're gonna take another round
of these pineapple margaritas,
please?
Extra strong this time.
And then we also want one
of those fried onion things
that has, like,
the arms that stick out.
You know those?
- Nachos!
- Yes.
- Nachos, and, um, uh, the, uh,
poppers.
Uh, jalapeño poppers.
- Two orders of those, please.
She's a lightweight.
- Are we celebrating today,
ladies?
- Oh, I would certainly say so.
Yeah.
- Uh, yeah.
- What's the special occasion?
- Oh, we just smuggled a bunch
of counterfeit money
over the Canadian border and
escaped a violent street g*ng.
- And no dr*gs in our butts.
- No dr*gs in our butts!
- Yay!
- Yay for no dr*gs
in our butts.
[laughter]
- So, pretty special, huh?
- I'll put that right in.
- Thank you.
- Oh, she hates us.
- No, I think she loves us.
- Oh, my God.
How much money
do you think that was?
- It was one bajillion dollars,
actually.
- I've never seen that much
cash in my life.
- I mean, fake money.
But yeah.
- Well, I mean,
it's real to somebody.
- Yeah, but it's no longer
our problem.
- Whoo!
- So here's to going back
to normal life.
- Yes.
L'chaim to that.
- Yeah, to normal life.
[clinking]
[slurping]
- You okay?
- [slurping]
Yeah.
I think I'm gonna, um,
call the kids, though.
- Oh, boy, that reminds me.
I--We should probably get the
check with the food
just 'cause, like, you know,
to be safe.
- Oh, we have time.
You'll get home.
- I know, it's just...
I, like, really need this
to go well.
You know, like,
it has to.
- It's gonna go great.
You are a good mom.
Just chill.
- Yeah, you're right.
Thanks.
- I sh*t a man.
- How are the kids?
- Good, great.
when--When are you coming
back?
I got a little bit
of a situation here.
- Yeah, what's going on?
- Well, um,
It's, uh,
it's the craziest thing.
We got hit.
I mean,
I don't know how many cars,
but we have a lot of police
officers everywhere.
[upbeat music]
- We'll come right now.
*
You guys,
they know about the car.
*
- Check, please!
- We'll dump it
on the side of the road.
Let the cops do their job.
- Yeah, I mean, they already
know it's stolen.
- No one suspects a thing.
- Oh, hey, there's that empty
parking lot off I-94.
You know,
by the Chrysler plant?
- Yep, that's perfect.
[engine starts]
[beeping]
- Hold up.
You synched your phone?
- So?
I mean,
I wanted my music
for the road trip.
- So it has your name
and all of your contacts
in a car that was
reported stolen.
- Okay, so we just unsynch it.
- How do I do that?
- You can't.
- Oh, of course you can.
Just--
- No, Dean borrowed my minivan,
like, once,
and it still asks me
if I wanna connect
to his pocket rocket.
[beeps]
- Look, there.
It's wiped.
Go ahead.
Restart the car.
Go ahead.
[engine stops and restarts]
[beeping]
- Hmm.
- Yeah, hmm.
[beeping]
- Okay, you know, I'm thinking
we may just have to reboot
the whole thing.
- What are you--
What are you talking about?
- The actual hard drive
of the actual car.
- What?
- What are you even
talking about?
- I don't know, I'm just saying
words that I've heard before.
- What now?
- Well, we have to torch it.
- You wanna blow up a car?
- We're not doing that.
- Beth, it has my digital
fingerprints on it!
- In the middle
of rush hour traffic,
you wanna blow up a car.
- Do you have a better idea?
[quirky music]
You know, I just--
- Nope.
- I just wanna--
- Nuh-uh.
[splashing]
[melancholy music]
[cell phone rings]
- Hello?
- Hello?
Hello?
Hello, did I lose you?
Hello?
- Hello?
- Hi, it's Clare Davis.
I'm here for your custody
evaluation.
- Jesus, my God!
Oh, my God!
Okay.
- It's almost 7:00.
- Hi, hi, I'm so sorry.
I'm just running
a little bit late.
I'm having a little bit of...
Car trouble.
- Well, how far away are you?
- Not far!
.
- This is us at Six Flags.
My mom looks kind of weird
because she just barfed.
- [laughs]
- Yeah, I, uh, I always do
after Big Blue, right?
- [laughs]
She still goes on it
with me anyway.
- Uh, hi.
I'm Annie.
I'm so, so, so sorry
I, uh, am so late.
My day just got crazy.
- Oh, how so?
- She does a lot
of charity work.
- With kids.
Yeah, I love kids.
You know, sick kids.
And healthy kids.
I mean, who doesn't love
healthy kids?
Wow, I can't stop
saying "kids."
- What kind of children
do you work with?
- Mentally disabled.
- Cancer...
Kind.
Cancer and they are also
mentally disabled, yeah.
So it's really sad.
- Wow, yeah, uh,
well, you must be exhausted.
Um, I'll make this quick.
I just have a few standard
questions.
- Shrimp?
- [sighs]
Kids just went down.
- Okay, good.
- Now we got business.
- Can we please
do this tomorrow?
- Nope.
- I'm sorry.
I overreacted.
She can come over for dinner.
Once, okay?
- Nope.
- What more do you
want from me?
- Your hands where
I can see them.
- [chuckles]
Seriously?
- Oh, yeah.
- Babe, I'm legit so tired.
- Yeah, but you just came back
from a girls' trip.
- Trust me,
it was not relaxing.
- Oh, you could just lie there.
- I was stupid.
- I know.
[calm music]
*
- I love you.
*
- I know.
*
- Neatest homework packets.
- What does that even mean,
right?
- Your daughter is one
impressive young lady.
Okay, I just need
to take a quick peek
in your mom's bedroom,
and then I am out of here.
- No, wait.
- Sweetie!
- Oh, my God!
- What happened?
- Nothing.
- Okay, that doesn't look
like nothing.
- It's fine.
- How long has this been
bleeding like this?
- Since I made the shrimp.
- Okay, how long did you
leave her alone today?
- I have to get you a Band-Aid.
- We don't have any.
I already looked.
- If this is a latchkey
situation,
I'm gonna have to report it.
- It's totally not.
- Honey, it's okay, Sadie.
- She never leaves me alone.
- Sadie.
Normally, I don't.
But today I had to.
I had something really
important come up,
and I--I just lost track
of the time.
- Because of the mentally
disabled cancer kids?
- Sadie, I have to take you
to a hospital.
I... I think you need stitches.
- Your car has the boot.
The boot.
- Um...
I'm kind of in between vehicles
at the moment.
Any chance you could
give us a lift?
- Okay, come on, boo.
Oh, my goodness.
Oh.
[creaking]
Oh, ooh,
your feet smell
like you're a high school
football player.
- Mmm-mmm.
- Hey, I love you so much.
You know that?
I love you all the way
to the moon and back.
[kisses]
*
Hey.
Good night, boo.
[kisses]
*
Hey, would you mind if
I steal some cold cuts?
Getting pretty tired of eating
hotel vending machine
for dinner.
- Sure.
*
- Thanks.
- So, how many cars
did they take?
- Oh, don't know yet.
Still doing intake.
Which, of course,
I have to pay for.
- What about insurance?
- Oh, even with a claim,
we take a hit.
- Oh.
Sorry.
- [laughs]
It's not your fault.
Oh, this is a lifesaver.
Thank you.
[clears throat]
Hey, so--
[clears throat]
I have been thinking about our
little sitch.
And...
If we were smart,
we would get back together.
[stammers]
Just hear me out.
Okay, so look.
I would totally wanna
divorce my ass, too.
But in the end,
I wouldn't.
I would not.
- Why not?
- Why not?
Because of the ancient
rule of two.
- The ancient rule of two?
- Yes.
Two houses, two mortgages,
two--two cable bills.
- Okay.
- Two water sewage
garbage fees?
I mean, that--that--
that's craziness.
- Wow, it is so romantic,
the way you're wooing me
right now, honestly.
- I'm not wooing you.
I'm begging you
not to leave me.
- By way of sewage fees.
- Well, I was gonna mention
that you are the
love of my life.
And that I wish everything
could go back
to the way it was.
Because I had no damn idea
how good I had it
until it was gone,
but then I thought that sounded
kind of cheesy,
so I decided to focus
on the cable bill,
which kind of isn't really
playing out
like I thought it was gonna.
Look, I--I know you
hate me right now.
- I don't hate you.
- [scoffs]
Good.
Look, I just--I just don't
think we have
much of a choice.
- There's always a choice.
[Gin Wigmore's
"Written In The Water"]
- * I was born by the devil
I was left here to die *
* I was held up for ransom
under cold summer skies *
* I was told not to love him
I was told not to try *
[banging]
* 'Til he said he'd be mine
* He will leave me for younger
he will leave me to cry *
* Cut the Kn*fe
a little deeper *
* Count the days I survived
* I will run to the river
I will reach for the well *
* Drown my sorrows
in someone *
* In the hope
I leave this hell *
* I was told not to love him
I was told not to try *
* I was lonely the only
'til he said he'd be mine *
* He will leave me for younger
he will leave me to cry *
* Cut the Kn*fe
a little deeper *
* Count the days I survived
* Yeah it's written
in the water *
* Yeah it's everywhere I go
* Telling me that I should
leave you *
* Like I did two
times before *
* I'd be fine if I met you
* And you'd still have
had to roam *
* Give me one kiss
for the road *
* Now it's time I let you go
*
* I will run to the river
* I will won't be
what you like *
* Yeah,
it's one kiss for the road *
* And it's time I let you go
.
[door creaks]
- Hey, I'm gonna call
that fancy lawyer.
See if she can
get us a do-over.
No shrimp this time.
I'm gonna go big.
Like crab legs.
[bottle opening]
- [sniffs]
- I'm sorry.
I suck.
[sighs]
Do you hear me?
I--
I said I'm sorry.
I suck.
- Where were you?
- I had to do something
really, really important.
- What's more important
than me?
[melancholy music]
*
- There is literally nothing
in my entire life
that is more important
to me than you.
- I'm going to bed.
*
- Tell me the Lord is good,
now.
He's good!
[applause]
He's good, I tell you.
The Lord is good.
Hey, man, is there anyone else
who wants to testify
this morning?
Anybody?
- I would.
- Ah.
- You would?
- I would.
- Sister Ruby.
- Hello, everyone.
Um, I would just like to follow
up on the other day.
To be totally honest,
I am not feeling
super good about it.
Sheila, you went above and
beyond for our little girl.
I don't even know how you put
together all that money.
You're still at the salon,
right?
- I've saved here and there
over the years.
- Well, listen.
I realize that I reacted badly.
Because I have a hard time
taking charity.
Pride is a sin,
as we all know.
all: Amen.
- So I would just like
to say something
that I should have said before.
Which is thank you.
[applause]
Thank you for the money.
- You're welcome.
- And thank you for offering
to drive the kids
home from school
when I'm at work.
And thanks for offering
to babysit so that we
can have a date night.
And offering to do the laundry
and, oh, my God, the groceries.
At Whole Foods, no less.
- Seriously?
- Because this woman--
This woman only buys
organic, people.
[applause]
- I don't even know
what to say.
- There's nothing to say.
But thank you.
- Got it.
- I know you do.
[applause]
- Praise the Lord.
- God bless you, Sheila.
- Sometimes our prayer simply
needs to be "Lord Jesus,
"help me to learn
to be generous.
To labor and to not
seek reward."
Let us all simply say--
all: Amen.
[shopping carts rattling]
- Well, look who's finally
using the pen.
- Yeah, it just felt
a little crispy.
- Hmm, let me try.
- Uh, no, I'm sure it's fine.
I mean--
- Let me see.
- It's legit.
Good thing,
'cause customer's long gone.
Next time try checking before
they leave the store.
- Good pro tip.
- Oh, uh, do anything fun
on your day off?
- Just hung out with my kid.
- Is that all?
- Is there something
you wanna ask me?
- Just making conversation.
[gentle music]
*
- Are you awake?
*
- You know the traditions is
Jordans over a phone line,
right?
- I only had pumps.
- Fair enough.
So what'd you wanna talk
to me about?
[gentle music continues]
*
01x03 - Borderline
Watch/Buy Amazon
Sisters Beth and Annie and their best friend Ruby become fed up with playing by the rules and not getting the respect they deserve, they band together to take control of their lives.
Sisters Beth and Annie and their best friend Ruby become fed up with playing by the rules and not getting the respect they deserve, they band together to take control of their lives.