01x05 - Episode 5

[bunniefuu]

Oh, my God, it's Ruby.

That girl's outfit.

♪ Can I have a taste of your ice cream? ♪

♪ Can I lick the crumbs from your table? ♪

♪ Can I interfere in your crisis? ♪

- ♪ No... ♪
- Move your fake-ass bag.

♪ ...business ♪

♪ No, mind your own business ♪

What is Harriet Anders doing?

I told her that Jordan secretly liked her
and that she should ask him to the dance.

- Hoo.
- Poor thing.

Do you want to go to the ball with me?

No.

Oh, my God. It's like a car crash.
Oh, sh*t.

♪ Can you hear the people behind me? ♪

Oh...

Whoa. That is one rank-looking vag*na.

"Apologize for being a bitch
in assembly tomorrow,

or I reveal the photo with your face.

You know who you are." Bit harsh.

I love a scandal. Whose is it?

I don't know, but it looks like
they've got Chewbacca vag.

Yeah, if my labia looked like that,
I'd, uh, k*ll myself.

I feel sorry for whoever it is, you know.

You didn't look at it, did you?

For, like, a second, yeah.

Didn't know what it was.

Heh. It looked like a guinea pig
with a bit of ham on it.

Just like a little...

Do you wanna meet my parents tonight?
They've been asking about you, so...

I'm not the meet-the-parents type.

Cool. We'll just have sex
in the back of my car forever.

Heh. Look, meet my parents.
Then it's over and done with.

No pressure, but...

Maybe.

Great. I'll let them know.

Oi, I said maybe.

- Huh? I can't...
- Dickhead.

- I said dickhead.
- Heh heh heh.

It's been a month. I thought
they would've broken up by now.

Count yourself lucky
she didn't bite your scrote.

Then you'd have a m*nled scrote
like Simon Furthassle's.

Can we stop talking about Maeve, please?
Look, it was a weird blip.

- Yeah.
- I'm over it.

It's good that she's with Jackson.
We're not doing the clinic as much,

so... got plenty of time
to get on with my normal life...

and do normal things.

Like feel sad and play Smash Bros?

How about going to see
Hedwig and the Angry Inch tonight?

No!

- Yeah! Ha ha.
- Aw.

Happy birthday.

- No. I thought you forgot our tradition.
- How could I forget?

- Mm.
- It's okay. Don't get emotional.

Of course I'm gonna get emotional.
It’s Hedwig, man.

- It starts at seven.
- Uh-huh.

- We're gonna get the early bus.
- Okay.

- You're slow in heels and on time's late.
- Excuse me. I'm a bad girl in heels.

A bad girl. Let it be known to the world.

I bet you it's Tia's.

No way. She's fat.
This isn't a fat vag*na.

- What about Cara?
- No. Those flaps are Caucasian, all right.

It's probably Maeve Wiley's.
Anyone notice whether it had teeth?

What is that sticking-out bit?
It looks like a micro-penis.

I've gotta go.
See you tonight at Aimee's.

- What's happenin' at mine tonight?
- Study group, obviously.

Guys, my parents
are still kind of angry about the party.

Guys?

- It's my vag*na.
- What?

It's mine, okay? And I need your help.

You and that weird sex kid
who looks like a Victorian ghost.

You told everyone it was my vag*na.

You're a horrible person.
Why should I help you?

W-Well, I... I don't know who else to ask.

W-W-W... I don't care.

Please.

Look,
I only sent that photo to one guy.

I can't believe I was stupid enough
to leave my face in it, but I was...

I'd just had my eyebrows done,
and I was looking on fleek.

Okay, so what do you want us
to do about it, then?

I need you to find out who it was
before assembly tomorrow.

If this picture gets released,

it will be on the Internet
for the rest of my life.

Uh-huh. Who'd you send it to?

Tom Baker.

Warhammer Tom?

- Ah.
- Heh heh. Oh, my God.

Well, we only dated for, like, one week.

And my nan had just d*ed.
I-I wasn't myself.

Look, I'll...

I'll pay.

Okay?

Keep your money.

- Get lost before I change my mind.
- Okay. Thank you.

- Hey, muppet.
- Aah. Hi, Maeve.

- Um, yeah. Haven't seen you in a while.
- Mm-hmm.

- We've got clinic emergency.
- Clinic? Um...

I... got to be somewhere.
I can't do after school.

The vag*na photo's Ruby's.
She wants us to find out who sent it.

Tell her she should go to the police.
It's a criminal offense.

- What's this got to do with therapy?
- It's a vag*na.

Come on, it's not... it won't take long.
I've gotta be somewhere, too.

- Why are you being weird?
- Not. I'm not being weird.

- Yes, you are.
- Well, why are you helping Ruby, anyway?

It's money.

- Please?
- Uh...

Okay. Who did she send it to?

Tom Baker.

What mortals dare enter our domain?

Who doth interrupt
our game of Runes of Dunbar?

- We need to talk to you.
- Speak plainly, woman.

- Privately.
- We are a fellowship.

We hide nothing from one another.

Hmm.

No! What is wrong with you?

Speak with us, or your precious fellowship
will meet the same fate.

It's important, Tom. Please.

Okay.

I didn't send that photo.
I would never do anything to hurt her.

- Prove it. Give us your phone.
- Um...

- Go on.
- I don't have one.

Did you know that they emit radiation

and that the radiation
can cause a cancer of the balls?

I don't want mutant sperm.

Check if you like.

If it wasn't you, who was it?

Ruby and I dated for a week.
It was like a dream.

But then she dumped me for Glen Jacobs.

And then she dumped him
because he wore the wrong socks to school.

What are you implying?

Remember that topless photo
of Tia Hobbs that went around?

Yeah.

Well, Tia used to go out with Glen,
and he called in sick today.

Coincidence? I think not.

Thanks, Tom.

You know Glen Jacobs, right?

- Where does he live?
- Uh, in his parents' garage.

There's loads of beanbags in it.

- Okay, where is it?
- Oh, I don't know.

I just sort of arrive places.

What would you wear to meet your
boyfriend's parents for the first time?

Whatever you do, do not dress like you.

My brother brought a girl home once.

She wore a Nine Inch Nails T-shirt,
and my mom thought she worshipped Satan.

She did a massive sh*t in the toilet.
My dad had to break it up with a stick.

So don't do that, either,
'cause first impressions count.

Good luck.

Eric, you can't go out dressed like this.
Go and change.

Dad, it's okay. It's a costume.

Otis will be in costume, too.
We do it every year. It's fine.

Put a coat on. It's not safe.

Bye, Dad.

♪ Live, baby, live ♪

♪ Now that the day is over ♪

♪ I got a new sensation ♪

Ahem. I'm off.

- ♪ In perfect moments ♪
- Oh...

You look fabulous.

♪ So impossible to refuse ♪

Thanks.

Have fun.

♪ Dream, baby, dream ♪

♪ Of all that's come and goin' ♪

♪ And you will find out in the end ♪

♪ There really is ♪

♪ There really is no difference ♪

You look different.

- I was making an effort.
- No, you look great.

- Tanya, it's fine.
- Guys. Guys.

This is Maeve.

Oh.

Hello.

Hi.

Welcome. We've made sushi.

And I've just realized
it's got shellfish in.

- You're not allergic, are you?
- Yeah, I'll die.

- Just kidding.
- Heh heh.

- Yeah.
- Oh. Ha ha.

That's funny.

Heh.

- We are so happy to meet you.
- Me too.

Yes.

I brought some wine.

- Jackson doesn't drink.
- Mom.

That's so thoughtful of you.

- We'll have some, won't we?
- Yep.

Oi.

- Is it your birthday?
- Yeah. Yeah, it is.

It's my birthday, too.

You look brilliant.

Heh heh. Thank you.

Happy birthday, mate.

Ah. Ha ha ha ha.

He wouldn't go anywhere near the ocean
without crying.

He was so afraid of water,
he couldn't have a bath.

Mom, I was not afraid of a bath.

Ha ha. Oh, you were afraid.

You wouldn't think it, though, would you?
Can't keep him out of the water now.

- Mm.
- Okay, sorry.

Sorry. We're babbling.

But it's just that...
well, we didn't think...

we could have a baby, so...

unfortunately for Jackson, he's...

he's our miracle.

- Mom...
- Oh. Okay, okay.

Reining it in.

So what about your parents, Maeve?

What do they do?
Are they as embarrassing as us?

No.

Yeah. Yeah, they're, uh... very normal.

Yeah. So what do they do?

Um... they're accountants.

Great. We were just saying
we need new accountants.

Where are they based?

They work from home, actually.

- Do they have a website?
- Uh, no.

Uh, they like to work with,
like, international clients.

You know, Japan and stuff.

- Ahem.
- Where's the toilet?

- You can use the one in my room.
- Cool.

She's...

nice.

Yeah?

Okay, cool.

You did tell her you don't drink,
though, right?

Mom.

- Just chill out.
- Come on.

sh*t.

- What's up, d*ck stain?
- Tom lied. He has a phone.

Knew it. Sneaky little bastard.

Wait.

Wait. Ahh.

- What's happening?
- He tossed it.

He's got rid of the evidence,
the sneaky little man.

Go and confront him.

- I'm gonna miss my bus.
- You're right there.

- He's gonna get away with it.
- I can't. I've gotta go.

- Where are you?
- Clayhill Bridge.

That's near the bus stop.
Go and talk to him.

It'll be too late tomorrow, okay?

Coming up on my right.
I was so close, but I just clipped it.

I think I pulled my shoulder,
but it was worth it.

We're so proud of you. Heh.

- I hope Maeve hasn't got lost.
- Oh, yeah. I'll go check on her.

Maeve?

Oi.

- No. No.
- Stop!

- Stay back!
- Halt! Tom!

- I'm scared. I'm scared.
- It's me.

Otis.

Why are you wearing that?

Hedwig. I'm Hedwig.

- Well... I don't know what that is.
- It's a cult movie.

Brilliant soundtrack.
Iconic amongst the LGBTQI community.

That's not the point. Tom...

why did you
throw your phone in the bush?

You said you didn't have a phone.

Okay, I lied.

I knew it looked bad,
so I made up the Glen Jacobs thing.

I didn't send that photo to everyone.
Honestly.

- It's not looking good, Tom.
- I didn't.

I just sent it to one other guy because
he didn't believe I'd had sex with Ruby.

And... And also, I was mad
that she said I smelt like crisps.

That's not an excuse.
Who did you send it to?

Kyle. No one else.

- Hey, man. Uh... yeah.
- Dude, where are you?

- The bus is in, like, a minute.
- Yeah. No, no. I'm gonna be there soon.

- Yeah, I'm almost there. I promise.
- Aw.

You better alacazam yourself here now
because the bus is here.

Get on. We got to get on it.
Just hold the doors.

Uh, could you just wait one second?

- My friend...
- That was one second.

No! No!

I'll get the next one.

I'll meet you at the station.

I'm sorry, man.

Where's Tom?

- Why do you look weird?
- Why are you dressed like that?

I'm supposed to be seeing
Hedwig and the Angry Inch with Eric,

but I missed my bus,
so thanks for that.

- How is that my fault?
- You made me chase Tom.

I didn't make you do anything.

Well, he sent the photo to Kyle.

- Kyle? Okay, we go talk to Kyle, then.
- No.

I have to meet Eric.
I'm waiting for the next bus.

- The next one isn't for an hour. Come.
- I said no.

Fine. Suit yourself.

- Where are we going now?
- Aimee's study group.

Kyle, you're making me feel sick.

Yeah, Aimee.
He's really disgusting.

- See, told you I could do it.
- Nobody cares, Kyle.

Pizza. Thank God for that.

Uh, who ordered pizza?

- We did.
- Oh, we found your mom's credit card.

Mm-hmm.

What the actual f*ck.

We need to talk to Kyle.

- What do you want him for?
- None of your business.

What are you supposed to be?

- I'm going to a fancy...
- Aimee, Cock Biter's here.

What do you want?

I love your outfit.

- Thank you.
- How did it go with Jackson's parents?

Not great. I kind of... fled.

- Where's Kyle?
- Why?

Is this a sex thing?
Has he got worms or something?

Has he given them to me?
Am I riddled with worms now?

No. We need to talk to him.

Okay.

Ruby, where's Kyle?

Probably having a whitey in the kitchen.
He's so disgusting, Aimee. Honestly.

Kyle, we need to talk.

My skin feels like a carpet.

- Kyle, did you send out that photo?
- Tread on me.

I don't wanna be a carpet.

We will f*ck you up, do you hear me?
You'll wish you were a f*cking carpet.

- Did you send the picture? Yes or no?
- Maeve.

He's out of it.

This is stupid.

She sent out the photo.
Why doesn't she go to the police?

You really don't get it, do you?

- You're such a man.
- Why are you so obsessed with this?

Do you need money?
I can lend you some.

Or is this just an excuse
to run away from Jackson's thing?

- What's that supposed to mean?
- I find it funny

that you only ever want me around
when you need something.

That's not true.

- You're my friend.
- Am I?

Because friends
are supposed to listen to each other.

And I keep telling you
I'm supposed to be with Eric right now,

but for some reason,
I'm here with you and the carpet.

Go, then.

Go on.

Okay, yeah.

I didn't take the money off Ruby.

You're right. I was freaked out
about Jackson's family dinner,

but that's not why I'm here.

Do you know how long
I've been called Cock Biter?

Four years.

People I've never met
call me Cock Biter to my face.

I bit Simon Furthassle's scrote.

I had sex with four guys at the same time.
I f*cked my second cousin.

I'll give you a hand job
for a fiver if you like.

Do you know how it started?

Simon tried to kiss me
at Claire Tyler's 14th birthday.

I said no.

He told everyone I'd given him a blow job
and bitten his d*ck, and that was it.

This kind of thing sticks.

And it hurts, and no one deserves
to be shamed, not even Ruby.

I didn't know that.

Whatever.

Please just help me fix this.

How do we get him to talk?

Orange juice.

I need orange juice.

- Hey, man. Um...
- Where are you?

- Are you on a bus?
- Um... no.

Look, uh... something's come up.
It's a bit of an emergency.

What happened? Are you all right?

Yeah, no, I'm fine.

I'm fine. I have to do something.

I'm gonna jump on the next bus,
and I'll meet you after the movie.

I-I don't know, man.
Uh, I'm not feelin' it anymore.

I think I might just go home.

Okay, okay. Well... call me when you
get back home and let's hang out.

It's your birthday.
We have to do something.

I'm sorry, and I'm gonna
make it up to you, I promise.

Okay, I'll speak to you in a bit.

Okay, bye.

Thirteen hours until the big reveal.

Whoever came up with this
is an evil genius.

Ha ha. I am so impressed.

That better be pizza.

Hi. I'm here for the study group.

Um, Ruby told me about it.

I'm-I'm Steve. I'm new at school.

This isn't actually a study group.
We smoke weed and bitch about people.

Ruby likes to invite guys
she thinks are hot.

Oh.

Oh, I actually... I kind of need to study.
I've got a ton of trigonometry homework.

Um...

Okay. Uh, thanks, though.

Wait. Wait.

I could help you study, if you like.

♪ Ain't no love in the heart of the city ♪

- ♪ Ain't no love... ♪
- Sorry. Excuse me.

- Is this the bus for Moordale?
- No.

♪ Ain't no love ♪

♪ And it's sure 'nough a pity ♪

♪ Ain't no love... ♪

Sorry, excuse me.

Did you see anyone take my coat?
It had my phone and my wallet in it.

Did you see anybody take my coat?
It had my phone and wallet in it.

- It was tiger print.
- ♪ In this great big old town ♪

Sorry. Did you see anybody take my coat?
It had my phone and wallet in...

- ♪ Ain't no love ♪
- God.

♪ 'Cause you ain't around ♪

♪ Ain't no love in the heart of the city ♪

Why do people send out naked pictures
of themselves, anyway?

It's a thrill thing. You know, when you
do something you're not supposed to,

but somehow it makes it better.

Not that I've done it, obviously.

- Lone genitals aren't really my thing.
- Yeah?

I'm just saying,
I can see why people do it.

It's like not paying for a train ticket.

Or finding a lost wallet
and keeping the money.

You know it's wrong, but it feels good.

I would never take money
out of a lost wallet.

Have you ever done anything
you're not supposed to, Otis?

Yeah.

Like what?

I... don't-I don't back up my hard drive
sometimes, if I'm tired.

Wow.

Yep, it's that one.

Steal something.

- No.
- Yeah.

- No. Why would I steal?
- Yeah.

- Because I dare you.
- So?

- I dare you to do it.
- Wh...

- I dare you. Come on, it's easy.
- Don't. I can't...

- Just live a little.
- I'm not...

Shh. It's fine.

Whoo.

You were a man. Now you're not.

Yeah, his shift is over.

- Hi...
- Hi.

Otis.

I'm supposed to be Hedwig.

Oh. I love that film.

- You all right?
- Hmm.

I'm all good. I'm just casual.

- How are you?
- I'm fine.

You just seem a bit nervous.

Hmm? Why-Why would I be nervous?
I'm not...

Were you intending to pay for that?

- Yeah.
- You weren't, were you?

I don't know why I did that. I...
I've never done anything like that before.

Yeah, I can tell. You're an awful thief.

How much is it? Is it, like, 50p?

I'm obligated to call the police.

- Don't. Please.
- Yes, Otis.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

I'm joking.

- Really?
- Yeah.

It's on me.

Okay.

- Heh. Thank you.
- It's okay.

- Heh heh.
- Thank you.

You're welcome.

I got caught.

Of course you did.

I get sent images all the time.

You know, tits...

minges... the occasional butthole.

Kyle, the vag*na. The one sent out
this morning. Did you send it?

No. I keep all the pictures
for my own personal collection.

I'm more of a connoisseur
of amateur erotica.

Kyle, that's disgusting.

Yeah, I know.

Okay. Get lost now.

- Go on.
- Unh.

- Go on.
- Come on.

Well, was it him?

I don't think so.

Well, we're running out of time.
You're really sh*t at helping.

- She's just doing you a favor.
- Ah.

What's going on?

- My life is over.
- Why? Rubes, what's wrong?

That minge
everyone's been laughing at all day...

it's mine, and I'm f*cked.

I'm totally f*cked.

Go and sit.

Ruby, um...

Okay, look, worst-case scenario...

photo goes out,
everyone in school knows it's you,

and you could be humiliated.

- You're not making me feel better.
- But only if you let yourself be.

Everyone has bodies, right.
It's nothing to be ashamed of.

I have a... I have a funky-looking toe.

- Shh. Shh, shh, shh. Otis, don't.
- And I...

- It looks like a thumb.
- Yuck.

Anyway, point is, whoever did this

is intending to shame you,
but it won't work if you don't let them.

If they want to shame me, why haven't they
revealed who I am already?

- This is t*rture.
- Oh, my God.

It's a girl.

We thought it was a boy. It's a girl.

Emotional blackmail, demanding an apology.
This is some girl sh*t.

What girls hate you, Ruby?

All of them. I'm a bitch, Maeve.
I'm a bitch to everyone.

- Yeah.
- I need to go home now.

Olivia, can you call me a taxi?

- Use my phone.
- Mm-hmm.

Who else knows your passcode, Ruby?

No one. Just Liv.

You?

Are you a bodybuilder?

Ahem.

Sorry, I get a bit lost in math sometimes.
Were you speaking?

Are you some kind of bodybuilder?

Your arms are, like, really big.

Oh, thanks.
Yeah. I love working out.

I'd like to compete one day, but, um,
I have underdeveloped calf muscles.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Nah, it's okay. I also love maths.

So, I have options.

What about you?

Uh... I don't really know
what I wanna do when I leave school.

- Mm.
- I always know when I have a spot coming.

So maybe I'll become a facialist.

- How's the trigonometry?
- Yeah, it's super-hard.

But so is algebra. I'll probably have to
choose one or the other next year.

It's a really tough choice.

Have you ever tried a mind map?

I love mind maps.

Here, I'll do it.

Where you goin'?

Excuse me, miss.

- Want a lift?
- Um, no, thank you.

Look at him.

Have you got a penis, Miss?

Go on, show us your d*ck.

Just leave me alone, please.

You gay f*ck.

Please, please. This-This isn't me.
It's-It's a costume.

I was going to see a film with a friend.
I'm not a...

Yeah, f*ck 'im.

I wasn't gonna send it to anyone.

- I just wanted her to know how it feels.
- What are you talking about?

You say mean sh*t to me
every day, Ruby.

"Your bag's fake. Your mascara's clumpy.

You'll never have the right body type
to get a proper thigh gap."

You don't, Olivia. It's a fact.

See? She's horrible.

I think what Olivia is saying
is she feels overly criticized by you,

which is still not an excuse
to blackmail someone.

I only did it so she can feel what I feel
just for one day.

I don't say what's wrong with you
to make you feel bad.

I do it to be helpful.

Maybe Olivia wants a friend
that supports her.

But we say nasty stuff about everyone.

Yes, but you have to accept
the imperfect parts of people, too.

How do you guys trust each other, if not?

I'm really sorry, Ruby.

I hate you. I'm going home.

Fine. She's such a bitch.

Hmm. Heh.

How'd you know it was a girl?

I read a lot of true crime.

- Are you all right, mate? You're bleeding.
- Yeah.

- Here, sit down.
- Yeah, I'm okay. Um...

- I'm okay. Heh heh. I'm okay.
- Sit down.

- Anyone got a tissue?
- Yeah.

- Yeah, no, I'm okay. I'm okay.
- Here you go, babes. You sure?

Yeah. Uh, I just-I just need to use
somebody's phone.

I've-I've had all my stuff stolen,
and I just need to go home.

- Yeah. Thank you.
- Oh. Here you go, mate.

Thanks. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm good.

Hi.

Hi. It's Eric. Um...
something bad has happened.

Can you come and pick me up?

What are you gonna tell Jackson?

Diarrhea att*ck.

- God.
- Heh heh.

He's never gonna
speak to me again, is he?

Why didn't you say goodbye?

I was letting him off the hook.

They're not gonna want their golden boy
dating someone like me anyway, so...

why go through the fake stuff?

Yeah, well... ahem...
If you don't open yourself up,

- you're never gonna find out.
- No.

- No therapy, remember.
- What? Oh. Oh, sorry.

You all right?

I've got a jumper.

- So chivalrous.
- Heh.

Well, actually,
there's Nutella on it, so not exactly.

Great.

Why are your arms so freakishly long?

They're not.

- Just roll up your sleeves, you fool.
- Heh.

This one.

I'm a virgin.

- What?
- I...

I'm a virgin, and I-I thought
you should know that I am.

- Yeah, that's totally cool. No judgment.
- Cool. Glad I shared.

I'm gonna head off now.

- Oh. Okay.
- Yeah.

Yeah.

- You okay getting home?
- Yeah. I'll see you tomorrow.

Mom.

Is everything all right?

Eric.

I'll leave you boys to talk.

I'm sorry, dude. This... This thing
came up with-with Maeve and the clinic,

and it was serious,
but this crazy thing happened.

I think we had a moment.

It was full-on, and I... I messed it up.

- What happened to your face?
- You were with Maeve?

Yeah. Yeah, it was-it was because of
the photo that's going round.

You left me alone dressed like this
because you wanted to hang out with Maeve?

No, no, not on purpose. But...

Oh, you are so self-centered.
You don't care about anyone but yourself.

What? That-That's not fair.

Eric... why are you so angry?

Because we've been friends
since we were nine years old,

and you've abandoned me for someone
that you've known for five seconds.

You've changed, man.
The old Otis would never do that.

- I didn't...
- No, but you did.

You seriously think that she likes you?
You can't even touch yourself, man.

Wake up.

I'm self-obsessed?

You can't stand it if you're not
the center of attention all the time.

Well, at least I'm not delusional.

No, the truth is, Eric,
you're only angry right now

because I'm getting a life
beyond our friendship,

and you can't deal with it.

I rang your mom to pick me up
because this is where I felt safe.

I think I made a mistake.

♪ Can I sleep ♪

♪ In your brain? ♪

You all right, darling?
Do you want to talk?

♪...stranger ♪

♪ Can I rest ♪

♪ My bones ♪

♪ In your head? ♪

What happened?

- Nothing.
- Eric, talk to me.

Nothing happened, Dad.
I don't wanna talk about it.

If you're going to live like this...
you have to toughen up.

♪...need some kind of shelter ♪

- ♪ Anywhere I try to go ♪
- ♪ Go ♪

♪ I'm still stuck in my own skull ♪

♪ And lately, that's no kind of place
To call home ♪

♪ Home ♪

- ♪ All the walls are fallin' down ♪
- ♪ Down ♪

- ♪ Garbage lyin' all around ♪
- ♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Is there maybe room
In your temporal lobe? ♪

♪ Can I sleep ♪

♪ In your brain ♪

♪ Tonight, stranger? ♪

Did you come back for your shoes?

Look, I'm sorry, okay?

I don't want to have a girlfriend
that I don't know anything about.

For Chrissake.

Let's just go see where I live, then.

♪ All of life ♪

♪ Is a splash ♪

♪ Of light ♪

♪ Through a fuzzy filter ♪

♪ Through a blurry lens ♪

- It's nice.
- ♪ Me and all my friends ♪

- ♪ We have to pretend ♪
- The rumors about my family are true.

♪ That it all makes sense ♪

Some of them, anyway.

Mom's got addiction issues, and my dad
pissed off before I can remember.

So they weren't accountants, then?

I'm not a shiny person, Jackson.

I've been on anti-anxiety medication
since I was 11.

Sometimes I get panic att*cks so bad,
I think I might die.

I puke most mornings...

before assembly and after every race.

I don't sleep well because
I can't stop my mind from whirling,

and my moms might be getting a divorce.

They fight...

all the time.

And it's like I'm the glue
that's holding them together.

It's a lot.

When I'm with you, I just...

It's the only time I don't feel my mind's
going, like, a hundred miles an hour.

I thought your family was perfect.

Not so shiny, either, am I?

So...

am I gonna get a house tour,
then, or what?

Heh.

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

- Yeah.
- Okay, good.

♪ This is emotion ♪

♪ Emotionless w*r ♪

♪ A torn shirt and a ♪

♪ And a long-dead cause ♪

♪ I can't sleep ♪

♪ This kind of thing gets me down ♪

♪ Don't say walk ♪

♪ I may lose my fear ♪

Firstly, a very serious warning

about p*rn images
shared on mobile devices.

This kind of behavior
is not only despicable...

but it has very serious consequences

that may result in legal action.

Now, we do not know
who sent the photograph in question.

However,
we are continuing to look into it.

I heard it's Ruby's vag*na.

- Thank you.
- Ruby's got big beef curtains.

Now...

It's my vag*na.

- Sit down.
- No. That is my vag*na in the photo.

Sit down.

No, it's my vag*na.

Now... thank you, Maeve.
Settle down, please.

You're both wrong. It's my vag*na.

It... mm...
It cannot be all your vaginas.

I also have a vag*na.

Well, congratulations. Please sit down.

- It's my vag*na.
- It's my vag*na.

- Enough.
- It's my vag*na.

- It's my vag*na.
- Thank you. I understand

- what you are trying to do.
- It is my vag*na.

You don't have a vag*na.

You do not have a vag*na in the same way
that I do not have a vag*na.

- It's my vag*na.
- Please, would you all just sit down?

- It is required...
- It's my vag*na.

- It's my vag*na.
- Ah, just sit down.

- It's my vag*na.
- Vaginas! Bloody vaginas!

It's my vag*na.

♪ My body was made this particular way ♪

♪ There's really nothin'
Any old patrician can say ♪

♪ You social police
Can just get out of my face ♪

♪ And my body was made ♪

♪ My body was made this particular way ♪

♪ Recurrent desire never totally tamed ♪

♪ Oh, honey, I've tried and tried
To explain it away ♪

♪ But my body was made ♪

♪ His body's a ship ♪

♪ With an impenetrable hull ♪

♪ His bedroom shelves
Lined up with animal skulls ♪

♪ It's makin' me feel an irresistible pull

♪ His body was made ♪