02x06 - Episode 6

[bunniefuu]

- I think we should have sex.
- We are having sex.

Oh, you mean up the...

- Like, sex sex.
- Yeah.

♪ Whoaoh-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
Whoaoh-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah ♪

♪ Itty bitty pretty one
I really love you so ♪

What are you doing?

Waiting for you to... put it in.

Oh, did you already douche?

I mean, unless you're cool with it
maybe being a bit messy.

Uh, no.

Of course I already douched.

'Cause I like to be clean.

Speaking of clean, I...

I'm gonna go wash my hands.

'Cause that's how clean I am.

Sorry, I should... Hello.

Help!

I've been mugged.

Come now. It's an emergency.

Hold on. Wait. No, slow down.
Don't move, I'll be right there.

So, Olivia's been mugged.

Sorry. I've gotta go.

Rain check?

Yeah, of course. I hope she's okay.

You know,

people think you're mean,
but you're actually so sweet.

Okay, thanks. All right, see you, bye.

♪ Whoaoh-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah ♪

♪ Whoa! Whoa! Hoa! Hoa! Hoa! Hoa! ♪

♪ I wanna be an amateur ♪

Come on. You need to spit.

♪ That's would I would like
To someday be ♪

♪ I wanna be an amateur ♪

Can you get me a mirror, please?

♪ I wanna go down to the essence
Down to the essence ♪

Oh, I see.

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

- Yeah.
- All good?

- Thank you.
- Perfect.

Oh, you're a twat.

It's looking good.

So when can he get back to training?

Shouldn't I wait, Mum?
It's literally just come off.

You'll be fine. Take it slow, obviously,

but it's important
to build your strength up.

You can start training again this week.

Maybe tomorrow evening?

- Thanks for taking her, Cynthia.
- That's all right, love.

Jonathan's always wanted a sibling.

Your mum's holding down that job then?
Wonders never cease.

Yeah, she's enjoying it, I think.

Okay.

See you later. Be good.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Do you want to hang out later?

I've got plans.

- Ooh, and what are your plans?
- Haven't decided yet.

Great. I'm looking forward
to hanging out later then.

Oh, I still can't believe
she called me "uptight."

- Seriously.
- Well, you do over-analyze stuff.

- Oh! Oh, so you agree with her?
- No! No!

Well, you are a bit rigid at times,
don't you think?

I'm not rigid. I am...

I'm totally chill.

- Okay.
- In fact, I'm going to show you both

just how chill I am.

I'm going to have a small gathering
of friends at my house tonight.

- A party?
- No, a small gathering.

And I'm gonna cook a roast chicken.

Don't cook a roast chicken.
Cooking a roast chicken is not chill.

Okay? Who are you going to invite?
You don't have any friends.

- Yes, I do.
- Who?

I have you and...

- Lily.
- Lily? Is Lily your friend?

Yes, she is. I helped her vag*na open up.

- But don't repeat that, it's confidential.
- Clients are not friends, Otis.

Fine. You invite Rahim
and some of your Swing Band friends.

I'll invite you and Lily, and we can have
a totally spontaneous,

super-small, chill gathering
at my house tonight.

Without a chicken?

Without a chicken.

Hey, Lily. How are you doing?

I have to be somewhere else.

Otis, you can't be mad at both of them.

I can. Maeve ruined my relationship,

- and Ola broke up with me, so...
- Uh, that's a little extreme.

- You should invite Maeve to your party.
- No, it's a small gathering.

Uh, you can have a couple of drinks,
clear the air. I know you want to.

I do not want her there.

I feel bad about Maeve.

We spoke about this, Steve.
She was too much of a risk

and she doesn't take this seriously.
At least Paulina is reliable.

I can hear you.

Hey, Viv. I loved that meme
you sent me last night.

- It was hilarious.
- I know. Cats playing Scrabble,

gets me every time.

Polly.

Prawn cocktail?

No.

I can't deal with the smell of fish
before lunch.

- Anyway, how long until the heat?
- Um...

We have 25 minutes of free time
before the minibus leaves.

- Great. I might go and do some push-ups.
- Okay. I'll get on with some practice.

I am going to go to the bathroom.

Polly, I can smell it from here.

Party at Otis Milburn's tonight.

Okay. Party at Otis Milburn's tonight.

- But it's a Thursday.
- BYO booze.

We can't be hungover at rehearsals.

Hi. Um, party at Otis Milburn's tonight.

It's a Thursday.

- Thursday's the new Friday.
- No, Wednesday is the new Saturday.

- Everybody knows that.
- Can I come to the party?

No, Rahim. I've disgraced us.

I didn't realize you were going, Rahim.
Uh, where's Otis's house then?

Uh, 43 Ashford Street.

BYO booze.

Bye. Your hair is majestic.

You're not actually going
to a party on a Thursday, are you?

Thursdays are the new Fridays, Olivia.
Get with the program.

My boyfriend wants to have a**l sex.

I told him I've done it before,
but I haven't, and I'm freaking out.

Okay, well, um...

what exactly are you afraid of?

I don't know how to douche.

I've looked it up online.
Every website says something different.

Listen to me,

I cannot, under any circumstances,
sh*t myself.

Let me do some research,
and I'll get back to you.

Also, I'm having a small gathering
of friends at my house tonight,

- if you'd like to come...
- What the f*ck's a "small gathering"?

It's... a small group...

- Be quick with the research, yeah?
- Hey.

Hey, guys. Um...

- weird question.
- Uh-huh.

What do you know about a**l douching?

Um, not much to be honest, Otis.

I know about this, I'll teach you.

- Hi, Claire.
- Hey.

♪ Get up out of your rockin' chair
Grandma! ♪

♪ Or rather would you care to dance
Grandmother? ♪

♪ Do, do, do, do ♪

♪ Uh, do, do, do ♪

♪ Do, do, do, do, do, do ♪

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Hello?

Are you okay in there?

It was the prawn cocktail sandwich.

♪ Dance, little sister
Don't give up today ♪

♪ Hang on till tomorrow
Don't give up your stay ♪

We need you back.
Paulina's got food poisoning,

- and she wasn't very good anyway.
- It's true, you were so much better.

She always said "pacific"
instead of "specific,"

and didn't know
marsupials have pouches.

Okay, fine. Please will you come back?
But you can't go rogue, okay?

Jean speaking.

Hello, Jean.
It's Michelle Lawson, Remi's agent.

- Long time no speak.
- Hello, Michelle.

I'm calling because
Remi mentioned the possibility

of you two writing together again.

Something about teenagers
and sex education in schools?

Sounds fascinating.

Well, firstly, my research is confidential
and secondly, Remi is grossly mistaken.

I will not be writing with him again.

Oh, why not?

Because he is a colossal twat.

- Oh, hello, Ola.
- Hi.

Have a seat.

So, Dad told me
you guys aren't seeing each other anymore.

Well, at least...

it might make it easier
for you and Otis now.

Oh, we broke up too.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

He didn't tell you?

Well, he doesn't tell me much
these days, and...

Well, sometimes I wonder if
it would've been easier if I'd had a girl.

Girls can be pretty annoying too.

You know, if you ever need
to talk to a woman about anything...

What would you do
if you really liked someone,

and you were so sure they liked you too,

but all of a sudden they're acting like
they find you completely revolting?

Douching is not essential

if you eat a lot of fiber
and empty your bowels regularly.

- Huh.
- Hmm.

If you've never douched before,
it might be best

to start with a simple bulb, like that.

So, water in the bulb...

If I'm not cooking a roast chicken,
what are people going to eat?

Crisps.

Otis, just crisps.

...for as long as you can,
sit on the toilet...

and release.

- What about dips?
- No dips.

- But my guac is...
- Just listen to Rahim.

...and protective mucus in your anus.

- Boys!
- Hey!

Let's see the hand.

- Glad to have you back, Marchetti.
- Cheers, man.

Sir,

my cast came off this morning
and I'm back training this week.

Amazing news. Congratulations.

So, I'm not gonna be able
to make dress rehearsals tomorrow night.

Jackson, this is show business, all right?

Not no-show business.
Just rearrange training.

It's my mum, sir. She wants me
back in the pool as soon as possible.

I'm sure she'll understand.
It's great to have more than one passion.

Talk to her, okay?

Squat, don't rush,
push it in, compress the bulb.

Pull to take it out.

What's going on?

I'm teaching Otis how to douche.

- But we're leaving, actually.
- Yeah. Yeah, sorry.

Okay.

Thank you.

Squeeze, hold, release.

- I'll pick you up at your house.
- I can meet you at the party.

- Small gathering.
- Yeah, but I wanna see where you live.

Okay.

What's the matter?

I've just never had anyone
meet my family before.

I still think that you should invite her.

No.

- What...
- No. I'll see you later.

I don't want to see any roast chicken!

Hey, Maeve.

Um, I think you should come
to Otis's party tonight.

- I didn't get an invite.
- But I know he wants you there.

I think that you two really need to talk.

He didn't mean what he said in the text.

Please? Just talk to him.

I'll think about it, okay?

Okay.

See you later. Bye.

Okay.

What are you...

Okay, what are you doing, Mum?
What are you doing?

Ooh!

- Otis.
- Mum.

- Are you okay?
- Yeah. I'm just, uh...

- I was waiting for you to get back.
- Oh.

I'm thinking of having
some friends over tonight.

Oh.

- A party?
- No.

Just a gathering.

Um... But I was thinking
maybe if you could not be there?

Oh. Oh, I see. Uh, yeah.

It's not personal.

- No.
- It's just...

- Of course not.
- You know?

You're asserting your independence
from your primary care giver.

It's perfectly normal.

I will make myself scarce.

- Otis?
- Yeah?

You know you can talk to me
about anything?

Yeah, I know.

♪ Betrayal takes two
Who did it to who? ♪

- Bye, darling.
- See ya.

♪ I mean, not to be cut
By your dull point of view ♪

♪ Well, feelings will change ♪

♪ We're helpless, they must ♪

♪ But we like it that way
Eliminates trust ♪

♪ But that cut on your arm ♪

♪ Where the blood is still fresh ♪

♪ And the thought of some harm ♪

♪ That comes to yourself ♪

What are you doing tonight?

Remember, whoever wins this heat
gets a place in the televised finals,

where all your friends, families,
and university recruiters

will get a chance to see your giant brains
in widescreen high definition.

Maeve, you are not a lone wolf.
We play as a team today.

A winning team.

Okay.

I talked to Coach earlier.
They said there's every chance

you could be back on track
for the Nationals.

Obviously, we'll take it slowly, but...

Well, maybe Jackson doesn't want
to talk about swimming right now.

You mean you don't want to talk about it.

Uh, that's not what I said.

- It's what you're implying.
- Everything's fine, okay? I'm fine,

the hand's fine, everything is fine.
Let's just drop it, okay?

I'll get it.

Lovely to meet you, Mrs. Effiong.

Ooh.

- Eric, who is your friend?
- I'm Eric's boyfriend.

Oh.

- Lovely to meet you...
- Rahim.

Rahim.

Eric, why didn't you say
you had a boyfriend?

- Would you like to come in...
- No, no, no! Mum, we're in a rush,

and we need to go now.

Don't be late. It's a Thursday.

- Your family know you're gay, right?
- Yeah.

I came out when I was 13.

So, why don't you tell your parents
about me then?

Well, we're just
not a very talkative family.

Come on. We're gonna be late.

- We're gonna be late?
- Yeah, we're gonna be late.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, late.

Last question,
and for a place in the final,

according to the Department of Health,

what is the most common drug
used in the UK?

Ibuprofen.

Incorrect.

f*ck.

Quiz Heads, over to you.

I think it's marijuana.

It's not a legal drug.
It's paracetamol, trust me.

Weed.

The answer is...

paracetamol.

And the Moordale Quiz Heads
are through to the final.

- Yes! Get in!
- Come on!

Well done.

I definitely would have said weed.

Have you ever done magic mushrooms?

I'm not sure I should answer that.

When the others arrive,
I'll put out the rest of the snacks.

Maybe we can play some charades.

So, did Eric invite you?

I heard there was a big party
at your house.

I thought I might get to hang out
with your mum.

Oh, God.

That must be Eric.

I told him to bring a cheese board.

- Hi, Debbie. Hi.
- You all right?

Oh, yeah. Okay, um...

Oh, um...

Excuse me, um...

What? Oh, God!

I can't believe it.

Who's gonna be there?

Well, I hope Jamie and Joel.

- Who even told you about Otis's party?
- Trom-boner.

Adam?

Didn't you get expelled?

I heard he has a huge d*ck.

Thanks, Adam.

- Hi, my babies.
- Hi, Mum.

You been crying?

Huh?

Allergies.

These bloody plants
are trying to k*ll me, I think.

Good job they're pretty, eh?

How was school?

I got back on the quiz team.
And we're going to the finals.

Oh.

And I have two tickets for family.

And it would mean a lot
if you could be there.

- Yeah, of course I'll be there.
- Cool.

Why are you all dressed up?

I'm going to a party.

Who's the boy then?

No, there's no boy, Mum.

- I'll see you later.
- What's his name?

Stop it! There's no boy.

- Bye, Els.
- Mmm.

Stop!

Bye.

- I thought you were busy tonight.
- I am.

- I'm going to a party.
- Can I come?

No.

You don't know what you're missing.
I'm really fun at parties,

people can't get enough of me.

- I thought we were friends now.
- What?

What made you think that?

I'm not spending another night
stuck inside with my brother.

Seriously,
my brain's a precious commodity,

and it's slowly dying from boredom.

Don't let it die, Maeve.

Please? Please?

Oh, my God. Okay, fine!

- Do I have time to change my shirt?
- No.

Also, all of our brains are slowly dying.
You're not unique.

Oh, my goodness.
I'm terrible at making decisions.

I usually just have what Michael's having.

I mean,

I used to have what Michael was having.

Well, do what I do sometimes:
close your eyes and point.

- Okay.
- It works.

What can I get you?

I'll have a three-legged monkey, please.

Oh!

- And you?
- I'll have one of those too.

Thank you.

Yes, being on your own
will get easier, I promise.

Before you know it, you'll be wondering
how you ever shared the TV remote.

I hope so.

How's your... man friend?

Um... we split up, actually.

Oh, I'm sorry. What happened?

I think I realized I'd become
too independent for relationships.

Hmm.

I sometimes get worried
that I'm going to end up

- like my poor old Auntie Gladys.
- What happened to her?

She choked to death on a microwave dinner.

- What?
- Nobody found her for two weeks.

Really?

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

Well, here's to Auntie Gladys then.

To Auntie Gladys.

♪ Life is so strange when you don't know ♪

♪ How can you tell
Where you're going to? ♪

♪ You can't be sure of any situation ♪

♪ Something could change
And then you won't know ♪

- Excuse me.
- Hey!

- Eric? Hi! I am going to k*ll you.
- Hey.

Why? I didn't invite this many people.

- Is Ola here?
- Why would Ola be here?

- We have broken up.
- Okay. I thought the whole point of this

was for you to show Ola that you're chill.

- Should I get you both drinks?
- Yeah.

Yeah, Otis needs a drink. Okay, dude.
Dude...

this is the closest to cool in sixth form
you're ever gonna get.

Enjoy it, okay?

En-joy-ment.

- Here it is.
- Thank you.

Chin-chin.

Ooh.

Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.

Well,

this isn't exactly disability-friendly,
is it?

- Yeah, well you wanted to come.
- And you didn't think about these stairs

versus wheelchair situation.

I'm sorry.

- Let's just go home.
- I'm not going home.

I'm here to par-tay.

But that does mean you're gonna
have to carry me down these stairs.

- Are you joking?
- Does it look like I'm joking?

Hello, kind sir.

Would you be so generous as to escort me

and my chair down these ridiculous steps?

- I just had a cast taken off, so I can't.
- No, it's fine.

I'm sensing a hint of tension here.

Did you guys used to go out or something?

- So, who broke whose heart?
- Shut up, Isaac.

Boys.

- Could you give us a hand getting...
- Isaac.

- ...Isaac a lift downstairs, please?
- Sure.

- Enjoy the party, Isaac.
- Grab a corner, boys. One, two...

So, I'm assuming it was you
who was the breaker of hearts then.

Okay, we're done here.

Hey, Jackson! Are you looking forward
to the dress rehearsal tomorrow?

- Oh, man. You...
- Mate,

he's not doing that gay Shakespeare sh*t.

Look, he's back in the pool.

Ruby is looking banging tonight.

You could never.

f*ck off, Marchetti.

Dex is here.

- Um, hi.
- I don't have time for "hi".

I know I need to go talk to him,
but I don't know how.

Well, just go up to him and say,
"Hey, Dex," and ask him about his day

or a game that he likes

or another nerdy-type thing
you lot like talking about.

Then you keep chatting
and see where the night takes you. Easy.

Be yourself, all right?
And you'll be fine.

I just realized that your cast is gone.
That's great news.

Yeah, back to prison for me.

I'm joking. Go and get your man.

- Is that Maeve? Why is Maeve here?
- I kind of invited her.

- What?
- You guys need to talk.

I'm not talking to her.
She can talk to me.

Who is that guy?

- No idea.
- This isn't really my scene, to be honest.

What's your scene then?

Uh... I don't know.
Reading a book somewhere alone.

People need people.

Is that another NA motivational quote
by any chance?

No, more of a core value, actually.

Who's the intense starey guy?

That's Otis.

It's his party. Things are a bit weird
between us right now.

- Is he your boyfriend?
- No.

But you wanted him to be your boyfriend?

- You're not actually psychic, you know.
- But I'm pretty close, right?

Don't tell me, you didn't think
he would be my type.

No, I think he's exactly your type.

I bet he's funny and charming
in a sweet, non-threatening way.

In fact, he looks a little bit like me,

but less interesting, which means
I must really, really be your type then.

Shut up!

- Hiya.
- Hiya.

- This is my friend, Isaac.
- Hiya, Isaac.

- Why are you in a wheelchair?
- Babes, no.

- You're not supposed...
- It's fine.

It was a horrendous incident
involving the wind.

f*ck off.

Forty-three quintillion
possible combinations, but in theory,

it can be solved in just 20 moves.

Interesting.

Uh, Viv, can I ask you something?

Which is your favorite color?

Oh, probably seafoam green.

No, on the cube?

Sometimes when I'm in the supermarket...

- Mm.
- ...I like looking at people...

Mm.

...and imagine having sex with them.

Oh.

Last week,

I had this fantasy about the man
who teaches my Zumba class.

And then, what... So what was the fantasy?

I was on the dance floor...

and he was standing up at the bar.

- We caught eyes.
- Oh.

And then,

all of a sudden, we're having rampant sex

at the back of the dance floor.

- Oh, we should go dancing.
- It was only a fantasy.

No, I know but let's go dancing.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- Let's go dancing.
- Let's go dancing.

Dancing.

I didn't know you were having a party.

- You didn't invite me.
- Oh, hi, Ola.

It was very spontaneous.

Just... casual. It was a chill decision.

- You know.
- You said you wanted me to come

and pick up some stuff.

Yes, I... Yeah, so...

You left a T-shirt.

And a... mug with our faces on it
that you bought me.

I don't want it anymore.

Okay.

- And some tools. Your dad left tools.
- Okay.

It's upstairs.

About that research.

Nick wants to go home and have sex
because your party's pathetic,

and I cannot have
an unclean arsehole, okay?

- Sure. I spoke with Rahim about it.
- You told Rahim?

I did not tell Rahim about you, okay?

I am a very professional.

Rahim said...

Rahim said...

Rahim said...

You squat.

You squat.

And release.

I think you should go.

- I live here.
- I don't care.

Okay.

I'm gonna get another drink.
This one has sick in it.

♪ We can make each other happy ♪

♪ We can make each other happy ♪

♪ We can make each other happy ♪

♪ We can make each other happy ♪

Arsehole.

- Why do you keep avoiding me?
- I'm not.

Listen,

I'm sorry about the kiss thing.
I didn't mean to upset you.

Can we just go back
to the way we were before?

I don't think we can be friends anymore.

It's too confusing.

Wait! Lily, can we just talk?

Lily!

Marchetti,
I'm gonna smash you in practice this week.

Oh, f*ck.

Ooh.

There you are.
You need to rescue me from Dex.

What you doing?

I did it to myself.

I put my hand under the weight
because I wanted it to stop,

and then it did stop
and it felt amazing, but now...

it's starting again, and it feels like
my head's about to explode

if it doesn't stop.
I just need it to stop, like...

- What to stop?
- This f*cking pressure.

It's okay.

But you can't keep on hurting yourself.

What are you gonna say happened this time?

That I got into a fight.

But I didn't do it, so...

And I'm not gonna do it, right?
I know it was dumb, so...

Sorry, I don't know why
I'm telling you all this.

You need to tell your parents
what you did.

Don't be stupid.
They would never understand.

I'm not being stupid.

Statistically, people that self-harm
are nine times more likely

to attempt taking their own lives.
You need to get professional help.

I don't need professional help.

I just need to tell them
that I'm not doing what they want anymore.

You self-harm, Jackson.

- And the statistics show...
- I don't care

about your f*cking statistics, Viv!

What is wrong with you?

You say you don't have
any friends because you're busy,

but it's actually because
you're a f*cking robot.

Thanks a lot, Jackson.

That's good to know.

f*ck.

Is this helping you get over him?

♪ S'Express ♪

Oh, my God, Steve. This is our song.

- We don't have a song.
- Oh, maybe it was me and Kyle's song.

But still, it's a great song.

♪ S'Express ♪

- Hey.
- Hey.

Are you alright?

- Dude, I... I think you've had enough.
- Eric... No.

Him. Do you think that's her boyfriend?

I... I don't know, Otis.

Otis, that's straight vodka.

Jackson. You came.

I didn't think you would come to my party.
I was gonna cook a chicken, but I didn't.

Or did I?

Why do you hate me?

You do know Maeve broke up with me
because she's in love with you, right?

And you're still not with her.

Enjoy the clean up, yeah?

♪ Come on and listen to the
Gimme that, ooh ♪

♪ Come on and listen to the, gimme that
Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

Hey!

I'm Otis. Some people call me O-Town.

- No, they don't.
- I'm sure they do.

Maeve and I aren't really speaking,
but I can talk to you.

And we can dance
'cause dancing isn't talking.

Ah. Ah.

You want some vodka? Ah-ha.

You want some?

Hey!

♪ Drop that ghetto blaster ♪

♪ S'Express ♪

- Aimee.
- Don't touch me, Steve.

I don't like you touching me anymore.

- But I'm your boyfriend.
- I... I don't...

I don't think I want a boyfriend.
I'm sorry.

Woo!

Drunk Otis is a monster.

He's a monster. Demonic.

Hey, Mr. Squat and Release...

...how come you haven't asked me
to go all the way?

I don't want to put any pressure on you.

Whenever you're ready.

♪ Can't stop now ♪

♪ Don't you know
I ain't never gonna let you go ♪

♪ Don't go ♪

What is he doing here?

I don't know.

♪ Oh, baby, make your mind up ♪

I'm sorry. I'll be right back.

Hey, can I talk to you?

It's really awkward, but I've been told
you know about it already.

So...

you see, I need to know how to... douche.

Why can't you talk to your boyfriend
about this?

Look, I'm ready to lose my virginity,
but it's embarrassing.

If you are not ready to talk
about douching with your boyfriend,

you're definitely not ready
to have his cock in your arse.

Wait!

You stopped coming to the window.

Yeah, I did.

What did I do wrong?

You bullied me for years, Adam.

You made me feel unsafe for years.

You were one of the main reasons
I wasn't kind to myself.

And I'm supposed to believe
that you've suddenly changed?

You're full of shame, man,
and I can't be in that place anymore.

I've had to work really hard
to love myself, and I won't go back

- to hiding things about me again.
- I'm scared.

And I think I'm bisexual.

Are you all right?

You can't even hold my hand.

- Rahim can hold my hand.
- I feel like everyone hates me.

Well, it's kind of hard to like someone
who doesn't like themselves.

Found it.

Hey, Otis.

Otis.

I've got my stuff, I'm leaving.

Okay. Bye, Ola.

You invited her but not me.

No, I didn't invite her. Eric invited her
without my knowledge.

I didn't want her here at all.

I think I'm going to go too.

Maeve, Ola. Stay, please. Please stay.

I have something to tell you.
I have something to tell both of you.

I'm gonna tell everyone because...

I can.

Sorry, Connor.

Excuse me, everyone!
Everyone, come and look at me.

I have an announcement to make.

Can we turn the music down?
Um, I wanna say something...

to my party guests.

Um, so, this is Ola.

I don't know if you know her.
She's well, quite little and...

and funny, and interesting, and pretty,
and she was my girlfriend

until she told me
I can't see Maeve anymore.

Now, we all know Maeve. Scary Maeve.

You know, she's not actually scary.
She's just pretending.

Anyway...

Maeve told me that she liked me, okay?

And I like Maeve.

I like Maeve a lot,
a lot more than I liked Ola.

- Otis. Otis, get off...
- But I was trying to be a good boyfriend,

so I said to Maeve,
"Sorry, I can't see you anymore."

And then, Ola dumped me.

Yeah, it's confusing. I was confused.

But I thought probably a good thing

'cause I just really wanted to be
with Maeve.

And I didn't really want to be with Ola,
and then I realized

Maeve Wiley just likes playing
with people's feelings,

and she doesn't care
about anyone else.

Like, she brought this... man with her.

I don't know, probably just here
to make me jealous.

- Definitely didn't work.
- It definitely did.

All in all,

I think she's probably
the most selfish person I've ever met.

And I think it's good
that I'm not going out with either of them

because I think I deserve
a whole lot more.

Thank you for coming. Good night.

Not good night. Stay, enjoy yourselves.

Music on, please!

You're welcome to him.

- What is her problem?
- You're an arsehole.

Hey!

Eh-oooh!

Shall we go, An?

Uh, you know what? I think I'm gonna stay
for a bit, actually.

Okay, alright.

Hey, um...

I hope I didn't put any pressure on you
about having sex.

We don't have to do anything
you don't want to do.

No, yeah, I know. Thanks.

Right. Well, I'll see you later.

Okay. See you.

Nick?

I do want to have sex with you.

I've just never done it before.

And I don't know how to douche.

You should have said.

Anwar, I didn't know how to do
any of that stuff either.

I'll show you if you want?

- Okay.
- Okay?

- Yeah.
- All right.

Let's go.

Jesus.

- What are you doing here?
- I didn't want to go home.

Why'd you throw your shoe at me?

I'm angry.

Do you wanna go smash some sh*t?

Yeah, all right.

♪ Everybody's been spreadin' the word
All over the neighborhood ♪

♪ So come on over and bring a friend ♪

♪ This party has got to be good ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
We're havin' a party, everybody ♪

♪ Gonna dance and play
What'd I say, now? ♪

♪ We're havin' a party
Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ While the folks are away ♪

♪ The prettiest girls in the neighborhood
We showed 'em we got to have fun ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ We're havin' a party
A party, party, party, party, party ♪

♪ Gonna dance and play
Dance and play ♪

♪ We're havin' a party
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ While the folks are away ♪

- I can't wait around.
- But you'll have to...

- f*ck's sake.
- Sorry.

Very generous of you.

Monsieur.

Entrare.

Pirouetting.

Lovely.

Okay.

What really happened?

No wind, or youths,
or Afghan dogs this time.

All right.

- Um... Yeah, I was ten.
- Mm-hmm.

Joe and I
were still living with our parents.

They would send us out
so they could get high.

Anyway, on this particular day,
I dared Joe to climb up this massive tree,

and he chickened out halfway up.

So, of course,
I wanted to prove that I was braver

and get all the way up to the top,

which I did.

And then I fell.

That's it. That's the story.

Do you blame your parents?

No.

I sometimes blame them for not sticking
with the parenting thing, though.

Yeah, that bit kind of sucked.

Okay, well, I've got one for you.

Behold. I was eight.

My mum didn't take me to school.
She used to sleep a lot back then.

I tried to make myself beans on toast.

My brother had to call an ambulance.

Must've been some hot beans.

Yeah.

Anyway, that's mine.

That Otis guy
wouldn't understand this sh*t.

He wouldn't get it.
It's not in his little world.

- Otis has got family problems too.
- That's different.

If you grow up knowing the people
who are meant to make sure you survive

just left you...

it leaves a lot of scars.

But those scars make you special.

And you and I are properly special.

And for the record, I'm sorry
about what I said about your mum.

I think I was just jealous
that someone came back for you.

♪ Thank you for the offer ♪

- Now, off to bed, you.
- Okay.

Wake the neighbors up though.

- Thanks for tonight, it was fun.
- Yeah.

- Bye.
- Hurry along now.

Adiós.

- Fare thee well.
- Hmm.

♪ It's a good thing ♪

♪ Thank you for the offer ♪

♪ One of these days
I'll feel good enough ♪

♪ To cry on your shoulder ♪

Oh, hello.

This is actually pretty good.

How was it with the boy?

Anti-climactic.

I think I wanna concentrate
on myself for a while.

That's my girl.

You're too smart
to go chasing silly boys around.

That was where things went wrong for me.

You want to wait until they're men.
They've got a bit of something about 'em.

That's good advice, Mum.

- Don't put your boots on the sofa.
- All right.

♪ But I'm really not feeling
Like talking ♪

Now,

where was I?

Jackson,

- come in here.
- Sorry!

I know I'm past curfew.

I had to tell them.

- You sure you're ready?
- Yeah, I'm ready.

Are you drunk?

A little bit.

I went dancing with Jean Milburn.

It was fun.

Take me back, Maureen.

We've talked about this.

What's she been telling you about me?

Nothing I didn't already know.

Good night, Michael.

Great party, Mrs. Milburn.

Where's Otis?

Pfft.

♪ Oh, a leader ♪

♪ Walks with force ♪

♪ Oh, a leader ♪

♪ Makes the most of what he can ♪

♪ Of what he can ♪

♪ But he always ♪

♪ Carries ♪

♪ A stick ♪

♪ Oh, a leader ♪

♪ Fills the bags ♪

♪ Oh, a leader ♪

♪ Joins the ranks when he can ♪

♪ When he can ♪

♪ Oh, a leader ♪

♪ Takes good aim ♪

♪ Oh, a leader ♪

♪ Plays the game when he can ♪

♪ When he can ♪