04x04 - Dave

[bunniefuu]

* One down, one to go *

* Another town and one more show *

* Downtown, they're giving away *

* But she never came back *

* No phone can take your place You know what I mean *

* Two down, there you go *

* MacArthur Park in the driving snow *

* Uptown, they're digging it out *

* Better lay your claim. *

What's it gonna be?

Pop-Tarts.

We don't have Pop-Tarts.

-Yes, we do.
-Dad hides them at the top.

* Refuge in young man's pleasure *

* Breaking down the dreams we make. *

Wash 'em down with some OJ.

Dad lets us have soda.

* Ah, leave it *

* Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, bad *

* Leave it *

* Hello, hello, heaven. *

* Leave it *

Hi. We haven't actually met.

Aren't you the Big Kahuna?

Just Dave.

Is Dean okay?

That depends on you.

* Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye *

I only see whole milk.

-He'll k*ll me.
-Have any almond or soy?

-We'll protect you.
-He has people everywhere.

No one will know you're with us.

Except for your entire department.

It'll just be me.

And me.

This boat, airtight, no holes.

What could I even get on him?

Looks like plenty.

We need to know what he does with the money.

Okay, I'll just text him and ask, then.

Seriously?

I can't do this.

Okay.

Okay.

Just might want to give the rest of your posse a heads-up.

Why?

Because now, we have to round up everyone.

Okay, I'm a mom. Who's going to believe that I wrote that?

That's the gamble, right?

Oh.

I used to do hearts over the i's.

Hi. Fuel up.

Ooh, early bird over here.

Yeah, gotta drink.

Ah, I gotta go to bed.

Got Harry's assembly this morning.

Oh, why can't you go?

I am. They want us both.

Do private school parents have jobs? I mean.

None that start before noon, apparently.

Babe, I'm supposed to be on the clock in an hour.

Another double?

Gene needs me.

What's this man got you doing?

Just taking care of business.

-Excuse me?
-What?

Your hand.

What the hell is happening in the champagne room?

You should see the other guy.

I hope he's paying you overtime.

I'm just trying to keep on his good side.

Please shower.

Key is taped to the side.

-Thank you.
-Mmm-hmm.

I made a frittata.

-Gutsy.
-Yeah.

Don't have to wake up at the cr*ck anymore.

-You know why?
-Why?

No child to get off to school. I got all the time in the world.

Sounds like you're adjusting well.

Mmm-hmm. It's almost as if I never gave birth.

What's in a frittata?

You know, eggs.

How's it different from an omelet?

I wanted to make a friggin' frittata. Okay? I actually did.

We don't get cell reception in my apartment, Internet was down.

Only Ben knows how to reset it. I have this ringing in my ear,

so I wanted to look that up, but couldn't because the Internet--

-Tinnitus.
-Uh, sure, whatever.

Point is, if Ben was here, I wouldn't have even had to look it up

because he's so much smarter and better than me.

And everything in my life is just a lot better whenever he's with me.

You don't have tinnitus.

So, I, uh, purchased some concert tickets.

-When I was a young chap.
-I need him to come back.

.Dad and I collected butterflies.

You'll say I'm bribing him, but it works.

I'd run around scooping up as many as I could.

The net would snap their little wings.

Jesus. No wonder you became a therapist.

Dad would stand still so they'd land on him.

Then what? You'd take 'em home and
let 'em fly around like a weird pet?

Uh, mount them in decorative shadow boxes.

The point is, you can't use a net to get what you want.

That's really an elaborate metaphor.

You can't make someone like you.

You know,

I think Dahmer was a collector, too.

See you next week, Annie.

-I know.
-Do you?

I do.

-Because he's gonna. For real.
-I know.

-I know.
-We're dead.

-Okay, let's focus on the positive.
-They'll never find our bodies.

We get to start over, which is a good thing.

Assuming we can even deliver g*ng friend.

Then they'll move us anywhere in the country.

Do Alaska and Hawaii count?

-Probably.
-To do what?

-Whatever we want.
-What about Puerto Rico?

Uh, if it's under their jurisdiction, why not?

They'll set us up?

House, car, job--

American Samoa?

Do you want to live in American Samoa?

I want to know that I could.

It'll be like we never existed.

Like we never put on those masks.

Oh. One thing. Not a big deal. Real minor.

-All the territories count, Annie.
-Even Guam.

Okay.

The hit man.

I mean, wouldn't this whole deal go away if jaboy gets whacked?

One other thing.

Where the hell did he go?

Son of a bitch!

He changed his number, pulled his child out of school.

The man completely disappeared.

Yeah, that's what we do before we, uh, get to work, so to speak.

But we don't want him to get to work.

-I can't just call off your hit.
-Why not?

There's a code.

Like an assassin's creed?

Look, I vouched for you guys, all right?

We'll still pay him.

It just makesmelook bad.

Well, what if we pay you, too?

Yeah, like a restocking fee.

I don't need your money.

Come on. Just give us a phone number.

-Email.
-Insta.

Come on. We'll do anything.

Anything?

Yes.

There's something I haven't been able to do for myself lately.

Uh-huh.

-I got needs.
-Oh, no.

It seems like something you girls would be good at.

Hmm?

Yeah, sure, all of you.

Sweet Jesus.

Okay, let me just stop you right there.

-You, bathroom. Five minutes.
-Seriously?

-Yeah. Your car. Whatever. I don't care.
-I'm married.

Oh.

Well, why don't you just tell us what it is?

I'll text you.

Where are the kids?

They're with your mom.

Wait! Just wait.

The kids showed me where you've been hiding the Pop-Tarts.

And they're actually fortified. Who knew?

Maybe you did.

What is this?

Henderson, Nevada.

Second safest city in America.

Okay.

. miles from the Strip

and has this wonderful big cat sanctuary

called the Lion Habitat Ranch.

What's going on?

You said you wanted to move to Las Vegas.

Have fun.

-I mean, all of us.
-I'm sure Jane will love the lions.

Dean.

I'll see you in years.

It might not take that long.

And then what? I just pretend like this never happened?

Just don't give up on me, okay?

What's going on?

Taking measurements.

We getting a new one?

That one's never been big enough for Thanksgiving,

and people want to grill these days.

This people's just fine with a griddle.

What's wrong with the fridge?

-It's janky.
-Janky?

It's not janky. Still gets cold.

People like all those gadgets in the doors.

Who are all these people?

Don't know. Potential buyers.

-You're selling the house now?
-Someday.

-Your mama's house?
-Why not?

The one you made me promise to bury you in?

Would getting out of here be the worst thing?

Oh, you serious?

You hate your job.

What would you do?

I don't know. Something with nails.

And what would I do?

Anything else.

Take the kids?

Probably.

-Can we layaway a layaway?
-Why?

That's the only way we'd be able to upgrade all of this.

Mmm. Well.

Doesn't hurt to dream.

Grab two boxes of those mothballs.

One, two. Five, six.

I don't think Go-Gurt's on his list.

It's on my list, okay?

Why does he want us to go shopping for him, anyway?

How's that guy gonna pick up a -pack of Charmin?

There are people to help him.

I'm just glad we're on the outside of his pants.

What's next?

-Duct tape.
-Excuse me.

God forbid I get Go-Gurt but you get Pop-Tarts?

The kids are missing Dean.

You're just as fun.

He burps their names good night.

I mean, that's easy. Anybody could do that.

-It's harder than you'd think.
-Is it?

Good. night. Annie.

Is that everything?

Uh, let's see. We've got "the garden hose, the roofing nails,

hydrogen peroxide, Sun Chips,

mothballs, duct tape."

Yeah, and "five bags of fertilizer."

What?

These aren't groceries.

I know. It's a mix of sundries.

What?

A b*mb.

-Jesus. Just say it.
-There are people here.

Can you fill me in?

Okay. Okay. Okay.

Remember when we, uh, did karaoke and you sang "Lovely Day"?

-Yeah.
-How did you do?

I crushed it.

Not that time. The time at my birthday.

I blew the roof off the place.

Not that birthday. The other birthday.
When you had a little cold coming on.

-Oh, God.
-How'd you do?

I bom.

Yeah.

Hmm.

What's it say?

That we have enough here to blow up a church choir.

Oh, God.

Then again, I don't understand metric proportions.

So could be more like a. jury?

-Oh, my God.
-Maybe a bus.

-What are the nails for?
-Shredding flesh.

-We can't give this to him.
-I don't see how we don't.

You wanna be responsible for a bus full of choir jurors?

-'Cause I'll never sleep again.
-Know where you'll really never sleep?

Curled up with Deansie in a cell.

All right.

'Cause that's where we're going if g*ng friend gets whacked.

It's not coed, Annie.

News flash, sis, the women's ones are worse.

-She's right. I saw this thing on MSNBC.
-Okay.

The guards make 'em, you know, do sex stuff to each other.

-No!
-While they watch.

Thank you. Got it.

So, I mean, if we're in the same block,

it's just a matter of time before we have to.

Can I have a juice box?

Of course, honey.

I want Daddy.

There was one where the warden got in on it, too.

Taped it and everything.

Let's do this.

Ow!

You know what? On second thought, mind putting 'em up top?

-Did you find him?
-Yeah.

-So, it's taken care of?
-Kinda.

What's "kinda"? Either he's murdering a man or he's not.

He wants to talk to her.

Well, can you patch me through?

No, we're not doing any more errands for you.

Everyone chill. He'll call you.

For your information, the store has a delivery service.

Not to mention, there's an entire industry--

I'm on a million watch lists, butt cheeks.

Well, whoever it's for, I really hope they deserve it.

Believe me, Mom has it comin'.

-Mom?
-Yeah.

And at , I gotta do it while she's still around.

Jesus.

Just glad the chemo didn't take her out before I got the chance.

Okay. You know what? That's it. We're done here. Okay? We good?

She'll really appreciate this.

Gettin' blown to bits?

Her garden.

Huh?

It's a surprise for b*ating cancer, twice.

You b*tches are sick.

Yeah, well.

How about some tunes?

* Ooh, yeah *

* Sha la, la, la, la, la, my lady *

* In the sun with your hair undone *

* Can you hear me now Callin' your name from across the bay? *

* A summer's day, laughin' and a-hidin' *

* Chasin' love out on Thunder Island *

* Hey, hey, hey *

* She was the color of the Indian summer *

* And we shared the hours without number *

* Until one day when the sky turned dark *

* And the winds grew wild *

* I'll remember the nights In the cool sand *

* Makin' love out on Thunder Island *

* Goodbye, Thunder Island *

Don't have all day, man.

Let's go.

I can't.

You can't?

You, uh. you put it in drive and you. you press the pedal.

I can't do another one.

We'll go to my restaurant, put some food in you.

No, man, I'm done.

Okay, then drop me at the club.
We'll get an early start in the morning.

I got to be paid up by now.

Fair enough.

-Really?
-Yeah.

I need us all on the same page.

Then can I have my old job back?

You get some rest.

Come by tomorrow. I'll see what I can do.

Appreciate that.

Hello?

In the kitchen.

So, what's a better closer?

Turkey pinwheels or pigs in a blanket?

Both classics.

So is this place, right? You want one?

What am I doing here?

Either you're in the market for a three-bedroom fixer-upper,

or you want out of a contract.

You have your money.

This is why I don't do jilted lovers.

Why do you care?

Unless I go through with it,

you're a liability.

I'm not gonna tell anyone.

Cross your heart?

Yes, whatever.

I'd feel a lot better. if you were an accomplice.

You don't have to do it.

Just can't live without him, huh?

Believe me, that has nothing to do with this.

You're not his only side dish, you know.

I just need him alive, okay?

You cut a deal.

It's complicated.

Where are they putting you?

I don't know.

Usually it's Indiana or Iowa.

-I haven't put a lot of thought into it.
-Nevada.

Why does it matter?

You could have had Fiji.

You traded in for a cul-de-sac.

I have a family.

I thought you were special.

I'm a mom.

Just what the world needs.

Excuse me, is. is this the open house?

Let me give you the tour.

What are you gonna do?

My job. Why don't we begin upstairs?

Thanks, bro.

Know what I used to do before I met you?

Heroin and hookers.

So obvious.

Mmm-hmm.

Carpool sucked.

Class parent is excruciating.
Don't even get me started on the cookies.

A minute in the sack, can never take it back, huh?

They want you.

Feds?

Secret Service.

Hmm.

Yeah, I figured one of 'em was coming.

Yeah.

They taking care of you?

Full package.

Good. I'm worth it.

Quite a situation we got.

-Always.
-Always.

Well, what's it gonna be?

If I have to make one more cookie, I will die.

He runs the whole thing.

Don't look it.

Trust me.

He's the Big Kahuna.

Who else knows about this?

It's off the books.

What's his name?

-Dave.
-Dave.

You sure about this?

Only way it goes away.

Give her the bottle.

-Hey.
-What's up?

Who are you?

Security.

Is that my lasagna?

I don't know.

That's my Tupperware.

How would I know that?

Is your name Stan Hill?

What's your problem, man?

-Can I ask you some questions?
-What?

Uh, yeah, sure. Um, is everything okay?

We got a tip about a guy robbing a dry cleaner over in Hazel Park.

Well, I wouldn't know anything about that.

Eh, you fit the description.

What, a brother with a tight fade with some grey in his beard?

I mean, come on now.

Oh, good. You found each other.

Gene, help me out here. Being profiled over here.

Can I see your hands, please, sir?

Why is that?

Well, they said the guy went all aggro on the register and.

You know anything about this, Stan?

No.

There was some kind of tip.

Well.

Show him.

Why are you doing this?

Can I see your hands, please, sir?

-When did you say this was?
-Two nights ago.

Was that, uh. Thursday?

Yeah.

Hey, you know what?

You got the wrong guy.

We had a bachelor party that night, right?

Yeah, I was working the back room.

You got video of that?

I'm sure I could dig something up.

-I'd sure like to see it.
-My guy will send it over.

We good?

I appreciate your assistance.

In the car in ten.

We got a long night.

Mom?

Mom! I can see you.

Hey. What are you doing here?

It's my school.

Hmm.

Did you see the game?

-You were so good! You scored goals!
-Three.

-Well, last time you only scored two.
-One.

Oh. The penalty sh*t should've counted.

How many games have you been to?

You know, like, one or two, or. a couple, a bunch.

-All of them.
-You could have told me.

I. I just love high school sporting events, you know?

I didn't even realize it was your team, frankly.

Mom.

I just. I didn't want you to feel like

you had to acknowledge your number-one fan, you know?

Yo! Marks!

Yeah?

He means me.

Tight.

Uh, we're going for ice cream.

Does Dad know?

Cool. Have fun.

Do you want to come? Some of the other parents will be there.

You know, I'd love to, but I.

I have a. It's like a thing.

-Next time?
-For sure.

-Later, loser.
-So long, sucker.

Ew.

Okay, dinner.

Dad lets us eat here.

We eat at the table.

We don't have a table.

We've got a counter.

Jane, put that down. Come eat.

Don't. you dare.

* All at sea again *

* And now my hurricanes *

* Have brought down this ocean rain *

* To bathe me again *

* My ship's a sail *

* Can you hear its tender frame *

* Screaming from beneath the waves *

* Screaming from beneath the waves. *

Put it down.

* Sailing to sadder shores. *

I'm warning you.

* Harbors the blackest thoughts *

* My ship's a sail *

* Can you hear its tender frame? *

* Screaming from beneath the waves *

* Screaming from beneath the waves *

* From beneath the waves. *

* All hands on deck at dawn *

* Sailing to sadder shores. *

* Harbors the blackest thoughts *

How you want to do this?

Y'all don't mess around, huh?

Just business.

Mmm-hmm.

May I?

I didn't think she had it in her.

Gotta be careful with a woman like her.

You never know what they're thinking.

Don't.

Don't do that.

-Later, Dave.
-Dave?

When's Daddy coming home?

Soon.

Funny enough, he actually invited me this time, but, um--

Okay. That's good.

But I. I let him go by himself.

Maybe you'll go next time.

Yeah, maybe.

Um.

I actually got you something.

-What?
-Here.

It's just a little. Little gift.

Uh.

-Is that.
-It's a monarch.

I got him with my wiper.

Lovely.

It's for your collection.

Very thoughtful.

And, uh. kind of a goodbye.

Okay.

Like a toodle-oo.

See you next week.

It's more of a forever toodle-oo.

You're quitting?

I'm cured.

Just like that?

Yeah, well.

you're that good.

Annie.

You can't make someone like you.

I know where we can move.

We still dreaming?

Wyoming.

The place with cowboys and the rodeos and stuff?

And a super low tax rate. Hardly any crime.

One of the few places that can boast unspoiled nature.

Mmm-hmm. And no Black folks.

-Not true.
-Really?

-Kanye.
-Ye's up in Wyoming?

The ranch.

Pfft.

What's your problem?

I gotta. get up in a few hours.

-Can't humor me a little?
-You know what?

I'd rather stay here.

For the rest of our lives?

At least I know what I'm up against.

Looks legit.

So you approve?

Who made it?

Alexander Hamilton.

You dug up an old white guy?

No, but we both know how hard it is to find a good artist,

so I'm not gonna tell you.

Fair enough.

And I obviously can't wash it anymore.

Spa business ain't what it used to be?

They seized everything.

All of it?

Yes, even yours.

Bummer.

-I'll take a smaller cut.
-Nah.

We're cool.

Really?

Yeah, you earned it.

Oh.

One thing, though.

What's that?

Your Kahuna.

He wasn't looking to put me away.

What do you mean?

He was looking to put me down.

They. Well, they must have been out of options or.

Hmm.

I must have been all they had.

Yeah, maybe.

* Well, mama, come a-tippy tippy toein' Through the house *

* Gotta see what's the matter With the baby *

* It's been a-bawlin' and a-squallin' And a-kickin' on the wall *

* I know what's the matter with baby *

* We know what's the matter with baby *

* Well, I hear the clock a-ringin' Just a-dongin' and a-dingin' *

* Daddy, go and make A little money maybe *

* Mama, sleep a little longer But remember while I'm gone *

* Please take good care of the baby *

* After all he's just A little bitty baby *