06x01 - The City Kids
Posted: 03/23/22 09:44
(playful music)
- Yeah, Charlie,
sounds like a great idea.
How many kids you
want to send here?
Four?
Well, that's fine.
No, no, Lisa wouldn't mind.
- I wouldn't mind what?
- Having four kids.
- Could I hang up
the laundry first?
- No, I didn't mean,
Charlie, just let me
know when to expect 'em.
No, no problem, goodbye!
- Maybe it's no problem
to you and Charlie,
but I think you ought to
hear my side of the story.
It's a lucky thing
I came out here.
I would have never known
what you and Charlie had in mind.
Having four children takes
more than a telephone call.
You just don't...
- No, no, no, no, will
ya' stop blabbering now
and let me explain?
That was Charlie
Graham, from New York.
He's the head of an organization
called Kids for the Country.
- What's that?
- Well, it arranges for
underprivileged kids from the cities
to spend a vacation
in the country.
Now Charlie wants to
send four kids out here
to spend a week with us!
- Well, that's a wonderful idea!
I'll be a mother
for a whole week.
What kind of children
is he sending?
- What do you mean, what kind?
- Well, boys or girls?
- What's the difference?
- Well, the boys are
the one that shave,
and the girls are the ones
who say, you cut yourself.
- They're too young to shave.
- Then how are you
going to tell them apart?
- I'll have to rely
on their honesty.
(lively music)
♪ Green Acres is the place to be
♪ Farm living is the life for me
♪ Land spreading
out so far and wide
♪ Keep Manhattan, just
give me that countryside
♪ New York is
where I'd rather stay
♪ I get allergic smelling hay
♪ I just adore a penthouse view
♪ Darling I love you,
but give me Park Avenue
♪ The chores ♪
The stores ♪ Fresh air
♪ Times Square ♪ You are my wife
♪ Goodbye city life
♪ Green Acres, we are there
- We've got to figure
out where to put the kids.
- Well, why don't,
This isn't your shirt.
It belongs to an
executive producer.
- What?
- You were talking
about the children.
- Yeah, since there
are four of them,
maybe we...
- Look, written by, just have
one pillowcase between them.
- What are you talking about?
- The Written Bys.
- Lisa, we gotta figure out
some place for them to sleep.
- I hope that this
belongs to his wife.
I just don't know why
everybody's sending their laundry
to me this week.
When are they going to be here?
- When are who gonna be here?
- We're expecting four children.
- Gollee, then you shouldn't
be hanging up the wash.
- Look, there are
four children in the city
who are coming out to the
country to see a real farm.
- Then why are they coming here?
- Because they've never
seen a farm, or a tree,
or a cow, or corn growing.
- I never saw corn growing
until we moved out here
four years ago.
Come to think of it,
I still haven't seen it.
- Are you two through
with your sarcasm?
- Not yet, mention
your tomaters.
- Or your apples.
- Or your squash.
- Or your carrots.
- Or we succotash
the whole thing up
and make one big
sarcasm out of it.
- I'm gonna call up Charlie
and tell him not to
send the children.
- Why not?
- Because I don't
want to expose them
to whatever you two have.
It might be catching.
- Boy, what a sorehead!
- Yeah, he just
can't stand being a,
Gollee!
Mr. Bare's been
looking all over for this!
- I don't know if
Eleanor's gonna like
sharing her bedroom
with four strange kids.
- Let's not worry about Eleanor.
- Oh, that's it, forget
all she's done for you.
Those cool mornings when she
let you warm your hands on her,
- Keep working, those
kids'll be here tomorrow.
We gotta get this
place cleaned out
and then find something
for them to sleep on.
- Look no further.
- Mr. Haney.
- Okay, Melvin,
drive the truck in.
- Look, Mr. Haney,
who's driving the truck?
- Okay, Melvin,
unload the stuff.
- Yes sir, be right with ya.
- Who's that?
- Melvin Ackerman,
he's an out-of-work actor.
You've seen him in a lot of
them science fiction pictures.
- I didn't see anybody!
- Well, 'cause that's Melvin
is wearing his invisible suit
that he wore in
his last picture,
The Little Man Who Wasn't There.
Okay, Melving,
bring in the cots.
- What cots?
- The ones you ordered
for them little tykes
you're expecting.
- I didn't order
any cots from you.
- Careful with them cots,
Melvin, they're valuable antiques.
Eb, why don't you
give Melvin a hand?
- I'm not going
near him, er, it, what.
- Er, look, Mr. Haney, I...
- Where do you want this?
- Oh, Melvin, you took
off your invisible suit.
I guess he don't
want to get it dirty
in case he gets a
call from Hollywood.
- This is the most ridiculous...
- Can I have your
autograph, Mr. Melvin?
- Oh will you...
- Just put the cot
over there, Mel.
Ain't that a beauty?
- Well, it's not a beauty,
but it looks alright.
What's it gonna
cost me to rent them?
- You only pay for 'em
while you're using 'em.
$2 for the first hour
and 25 cents for
every hour thereafter.
Here, let me demonstrate.
- What's that?
- A cot-o-meter.
- A cot-o...
- It's activated by the
pressure of the body
and the ticking
sound also serves
to lull the little
ones to sleep.
- Look, Mr. Haney.
- You owe me $2 and 20 cents.
- I think your
meter is a little fast.
- You shoulda seen the taxi
dancer that used to own it.
- Uh, hey, hey, wait a minute,
before you unload any more cots,
let's get the price settled.
I'll give you $10 for
four cots for one week.
- Well...
- No, take it or leave it.
- Since it's for a good
cause, I'll take the 25.
- 10.
- Well, that's not as good a
cause as 25, but it's a deal.
Okay, Melvin, bring
in the rest of the cots.
I guess Melvin put his
invisible suit back on.
- Look, I think we ought
to get acquainted here.
You want to
introduce yourselves?
- My name's John Bennet.
- Lori Baker.
- Roy Takahashi.
- George Carlson.
- Eb Dawson.
- He's not with us!
- Don't worry about him.
That's Eb, our hired hand.
- Hi, kids!
- Now, why don't we get going.
Everybody pick up their
suitcases, that's right,
come along, darling.
- What's that?
- This is where we live.
- I thought they only
had tenements in the city.
- This is not a tenement.
- It would be, if it would
have a fire escape.
- Where do we sleep?
- In the barn, I'll show ya.
- Are you children hungry?
- Yes, ma'am.
- Not you.
- I'm starved.
- Well, I'll fix you some
lunch while you all get settled.
- Okay, kids, let's go.
- Look at the sign.
- Yes, I guess Eb
put that up for you.
- Welcome to Green Acme?
- Acres.
- He's got a reading problem.
- What's that?
- It's an eagle!
- Haha, no, that's a chicken.
Haven't you ever
seen one before?
- Not with its clothes on.
- What?
- Once they get in the
butcher shop, they're all bare.
- Somebody left an egg here.
- Yeah, that belongs to the hen.
She laid it there.
- Why didn't she eat it?
- Well, chickens don't eat eggs.
You see, she laid it there,
and she's trying to hatch it.
A little baby chick
will come out of it.
That's how chickens are born.
- I wasn't born that way.
My mother told me that...
- Er, let's go into
the barn, huh?
- What's he blushing for?
- Come in.
- Alright, this is where
you're gonna sleep.
Now everybody choose a cot.
- Mr. Douglas?
- Yes?
- I can't sleep here.
- Why not?
- Well, I'm a girl,
and they're boys.
- Oh, what's the difference?
- Boys are the ones that shave
and girls are the ones
that say, you cut yourself.
- Yeah, I've heard that.
Well, I'll tell ya, we'll fix
up a partition later on, huh?
(loud moo)
- What's that?
- It's a water buffalo.
- It is not, it's a moose!
- No, no, it's a cow.
This is where we
get our milk from.
- Where do the
bottles come out of?
- Oh, it doesn't
come out of bottles.
It comes out of the, the,
- He's blushing again.
- Would you like to
see how it works?
- [Children] Yeah!
- Alright, hand me that
bucket there, will ya', George?
Lori, could you
get me the stool?
- Is she going to sit on this?
- No, no, I am!
- Mr. Douglas, if
she gives the milk,
how come you get to sit
down and she has to stand up?
- Well, I'll show ya'.
Are you, uh, ready, Eleanor?
(moos loudly)
Alright, there we go.
(milk squirting into bucket)
- It works!
- It's some kinda trick.
- No, it isn't.
Here, come on, you try it.
Alright, now put your
hands down there.
Now pull down.
(moos loudly)
Easy, easy, work your fingers.
- She's empty.
- No, no, keep trying.
(milk squirts into bucket)
That's the stuff.
- Hey, look, I'm a milkman!
- Hey, let me try it.
(children arguing)
- No, wait, there'll be
time enough for everybody.
One at a time, here.
(moos loudly)
- Lunch is ready.
(children exclaiming excitedly)
Come on children, I
fixed you a good lunch.
- Aren't you coming,
Mr. Douglas?
- No, I've had one
of her good lunches.
- All through?
- Yeah, that's a real feed.
- I never had a sardine and
peanut butter sandwich before.
- Er, if you're well enough,
I'll take you for
a tour of the farm.
- We have to help Mrs.
Douglas with the dishes.
- Oh, that's alright,
I have a system.
See, there we are.
- Groovy!
- Like this, I can wash the
dishes and the tablecloths
at the same time.
- Come on, let's go.
You've all seen how
we grow tomatoes, huh?
Do you know what this is?
- Don't tell me.
Let me guess.
- Not you.
- It's corn.
- Right.
- Boy, he has some imagination.
- Can I pick one?
- Sure, go right ahead.
Oh, no, not that way, no.
Here, like this.
There you are.
See?
- Mr. Douglas, who's he?
- Oh, that's our scarecrow.
- His name is Wilbur.
He used to own this farm, but
he gambled away his money
and Mr. Douglas gave him a job
because he felt sorry for him.
- Will you stop
telling those wild...
- What does he do?
- Well, he scares the crows
away that come to eat the corn.
- How does he do that?
- He has a big stick
and he hits 'em.
- Oh, boy.
- Do you suppose we
could grow something?
- Well, I don't see why not.
I'll tell you what.
I'll go into Drucker's
tomorrow and get some seeds,
and then you can all
plant your own gardens.
- [Children] Yay!
- Lori, radishes.
And George, turnips.
Roy, carrots.
And, let's see,
John, beets for John.
- Mr. Douglas?
- Yeah.
- They've got the wrong
seeds in this package.
- Oh?
- It says radishes
on the package,
but they don't
taste like radishes.
- What are ya, no, no,
you're not supposed to...
- Well, looks like I got
here just in time, huh?
Teaching the kids
how to eat seeds, huh?
- Oh, come on,
I'm not teaching...
- Well, I'll take over
now, Mr. Douglas.
- Well, fine, fine.
Children, this gentleman
is from the Department
of Agriculture.
- That's right.
I am County Kimway,
your Hank agent.
No, I'm County Hank,
your Kimball agent.
Well, now that I got
that straightened out,
well, not straightened out,
still bent a little (laughs).
Anyway, I am now going to
teach you everything I know
about, er, well, not everything,
I have to save a little
something for myself (laughs).
- Is he for real?
- I'm afraid so.
- Now, the first thing
we're gonna do is,
no, that's the second thing.
The first thing is, er,
what are they doing again?
- Planting seeds.
- Oh.
Are there any other questions?
- Mr. Agent, how do the
seeds know what they are?
- Well, that's a very
intelligent question.
What was the question again?
- How do the seeds
know what they are?
Like, how do they know
whether they're a carrot
seed or a radish seed?
- That's easy, they
look at the picture
on the front of the
package they're in.
- Oh, for the love of...
- Well, I, uh, concludes
today's lesson in, er,
whatever you're doing,
and tomorrow we'll take up
on whatever we
skipped today, huh?
I thank you.
- Okay, now I'll show you
how to plant the seeds.
This is how you do it.
- Okay, now, go to
sleep, sleep tight.
Hey, where's John?
- Here I am.
- Oh, where were you?
- I went out to my garden to
see if anything's growing yet.
- Oh, no, you just
planted the thing.
They don't grow that fast.
Alright, have a nice
sleep, now, huh?
See you in the morning.
Come on, Lisa.
- Right away.
Good night, Lori.
- Good night, Mrs.
Douglas, you're real nice.
- So are you, darling.
Oliver.
(bucket clangs)
Ooh, go back to sleep, darling.
Why, what a bunch
of party poopers.
It's hardly eight o'clock and
they all wanted to go to bed.
They didn't even want to
go to the drive-in theater.
- Well, they had
a big day today,
planting and running around,
climbing trees,
all that fresh air.
- I was watching.
You'd make a marvelous father.
- Oh, thank you.
- You know, little Lori
doesn't have a father.
- Oh?
- That's very sad, because
a girl needs a father.
I was very lucky.
I had a marvelous father,
even though he was the king.
- You and your king father.
- When I was a little girl,
he let me sit on the throne
and wear a skin hat.
- Fine, fine.
- We used to play
all sorts of games,
like lock the duke
in the dungeons,
or choose the prime minister.
- What kind of a...
- Father always took
me everywhere with him,
even when he went to collect
the taxes from the pheasants.
- The pheasants?
- You know how I
got my allowance?
He used to let me dip
my hand into the tax bag,
and whatever I could
hold onto, I could keep.
- Well, that's very...
- Once I took out
more than 700 pesos.
- Pesos?
Thought you said
this was in Hungary.
- Yes, lots of the
pheasants were w*tbacks.
- Let's go to bed.
I'm gonna have a
busy day tomorrow.
- And what are you going to do?
- Well, for one thing, I'm
gonna take the kids swimming.
- Oh.
- Hello, there.
I thought you went
swimming with the boys.
- They didn't want me.
- Well, why not?
- They wanted to
go skinny-dipping.
- What's that?
- They don't wear
any bathing suits.
- Why don't we girls
do something together.
- Like what?
- Do you know
how to bake a cake?
- No, ma'am.
- Neither do I.
Well, we'll have to
think of something else.
Maybe we could take a
drive to Drucker's store
and do some shopping.
- That sounds like fun.
- Do you know how to drive?
- No.
- Well, that takes care of that.
What else would you like to do?
- I always heard that farm
women made jams and jellies.
- I heard that, too.
Would you like to do that?
- Do you know how?
- No, but I've seen jars
of jellies in the stores,
and it doesn't look too hard.
- That was fun.
- We sure did enjoy that swim.
- Achoo!
- I hope you didn't catch cold.
- Yeah, you should
have worn your trunks.
C'mon, let's see if anything's
growing in our garden.
- Yeah.
- Oh, well, fellas, there
won't be anything growing,
oh.
- Well, what's going on here?
- We're making jelly.
- Jelly?
- Yes, we were just
going to put it in the jars.
- Oh, what kind of jelly?
- Banana.
- Banana jelly?
- Well, that's the only kind
of fruit we had in the house.
- You can't make...
- This one's cooked enough.
- Yes, it's ready, there.
There's one jar ready.
- Er, even if there was
such a thing as banana jelly,
don't you think you
ought to take the bananas
out of the skins?
- Why, we followed the
recipe out of the cookbook,
How to Make Strawberry Jam,
and it didn't say to
take the strawberries
out of their skin.
- Er, but, the...
- This one's ready.
- Ooh, that's right,
there's another one.
- Uh, I'll see you later, huh.
- Where are you going?
- Well, I think I'll go
out and get a little air,
I'm feeling a little queasy.
- What does he mean?
Queasy?
- I don't know.
Let's see if another
one is ready.
- Nothing's grown.
- It's only been six days.
- But we're going home tomorrow.
- Well, the seventh
day's the lucky day.
Tomorrow, everything
will be growing.
- Lisa, why do you tell...
- Of course, you have to
do what we did in Hungary.
- What's that?
- Well, you have to
take a piece of dirt
and sleep with it
under your pillow,
and you have to wish very hard.
- I'm going to bed right now.
- Me, too.
- Lisa, why did you tell
those kids that nonsense
about sleeping with
dirt under their pillow?
- Why, you'll see
what will happen.
- The only thing that'll happen
is that they'll wake up
with an ear full of dirt.
- As my father always said,
it's always good to have
something to look forward to
when you're looking back at it.
- Tell me, didn't your
father ever say anything
that made any sense?
- Ooh, what have
you got in here?
- Jars of banana jelly.
- I thought they should have
something to eat on the train.
- Alright.
C'mon, everybody in the car.
- I don't want to go home.
- Oh, I'm sorry,
but, where's John?
- He went to see what's
growing in his garden.
- There isn't anything...
- Hey, kids, our garden grew!
- Wow, look at my turnip.
- Mr. Douglas, we're farmers.
- Lisa, did you put the...
- That dirt under the
pillow always works.
- It sure does.
Mr. Douglas, you
ought to try that.
Maybe you would
get something to grow.
- Goodbye, Mr. And Mrs. Douglas.
- Bye bye.
- Thanks so much.
I'm going to miss you.
- Oh, you come back anytime.
- Oh, of course, you come.
Goodbye, darling.
- It was the best
week I ever had.
- Oh, thank you, thank you.
- I sure will miss my garden.
- You're going to
be a great farmer.
- So long!
- We enjoyed having you here!
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
- Lori, why aren't
you, stop the train!
Lori, come here.
Why did you get off the train?
- Well, you said come
back again, so here I am.
- Oh, it's so good
to see you again.
Eb, take her back
to the car and...
- No, no, no, Lisa, her
parents will be waiting for her.
- She doesn't have any parents.
Just an aunt.
- Well, she...
- Can't I stay?
- Of course you can!
- No, you can't.
- Yes, she can.
- Oh, will you stay out of this.
- Well, she'll have to stay
at least until tomorrow,
because there isn't
another train today.
- Oh, alright, I'll
have to call Charlie
and tell him what happened.
- Oliver.
- Yeah.
- It's so nice having a
little girl around the house.
Why don't we keep
Lori for another week?
- No, I told Charlie she'd
be leaving tomorrow.
- Well, you could
call him and ask him
if it would be alright.
- Alright, I'll call
him in the morning.
- I am sure if you'll call,
he'll say it'll be alright if
she'll stay another month.
Isn't that how long
the school vacation is?
- No, no, it's three months.
- Well, three months
would be even better.
- Lisa, she can't...
- Oh, Oliver, she's
such a nice little girl.
And she likes you.
- Yeah, well, uh...
- You always said,
if we had children,
you would want
it to be a little girl.
- I don't need a
little girl, I got you.
- That's sweet.
Then can she stay?
- We'll see.
- Ooh, you're a good sport.
- Yeah.
Where are you going?
- I'll be right back.
- Do you promise?
- I promise.
(playful music)
This has been a Filmways
presentation, darling.
- Yeah, Charlie,
sounds like a great idea.
How many kids you
want to send here?
Four?
Well, that's fine.
No, no, Lisa wouldn't mind.
- I wouldn't mind what?
- Having four kids.
- Could I hang up
the laundry first?
- No, I didn't mean,
Charlie, just let me
know when to expect 'em.
No, no problem, goodbye!
- Maybe it's no problem
to you and Charlie,
but I think you ought to
hear my side of the story.
It's a lucky thing
I came out here.
I would have never known
what you and Charlie had in mind.
Having four children takes
more than a telephone call.
You just don't...
- No, no, no, no, will
ya' stop blabbering now
and let me explain?
That was Charlie
Graham, from New York.
He's the head of an organization
called Kids for the Country.
- What's that?
- Well, it arranges for
underprivileged kids from the cities
to spend a vacation
in the country.
Now Charlie wants to
send four kids out here
to spend a week with us!
- Well, that's a wonderful idea!
I'll be a mother
for a whole week.
What kind of children
is he sending?
- What do you mean, what kind?
- Well, boys or girls?
- What's the difference?
- Well, the boys are
the one that shave,
and the girls are the ones
who say, you cut yourself.
- They're too young to shave.
- Then how are you
going to tell them apart?
- I'll have to rely
on their honesty.
(lively music)
♪ Green Acres is the place to be
♪ Farm living is the life for me
♪ Land spreading
out so far and wide
♪ Keep Manhattan, just
give me that countryside
♪ New York is
where I'd rather stay
♪ I get allergic smelling hay
♪ I just adore a penthouse view
♪ Darling I love you,
but give me Park Avenue
♪ The chores ♪
The stores ♪ Fresh air
♪ Times Square ♪ You are my wife
♪ Goodbye city life
♪ Green Acres, we are there
- We've got to figure
out where to put the kids.
- Well, why don't,
This isn't your shirt.
It belongs to an
executive producer.
- What?
- You were talking
about the children.
- Yeah, since there
are four of them,
maybe we...
- Look, written by, just have
one pillowcase between them.
- What are you talking about?
- The Written Bys.
- Lisa, we gotta figure out
some place for them to sleep.
- I hope that this
belongs to his wife.
I just don't know why
everybody's sending their laundry
to me this week.
When are they going to be here?
- When are who gonna be here?
- We're expecting four children.
- Gollee, then you shouldn't
be hanging up the wash.
- Look, there are
four children in the city
who are coming out to the
country to see a real farm.
- Then why are they coming here?
- Because they've never
seen a farm, or a tree,
or a cow, or corn growing.
- I never saw corn growing
until we moved out here
four years ago.
Come to think of it,
I still haven't seen it.
- Are you two through
with your sarcasm?
- Not yet, mention
your tomaters.
- Or your apples.
- Or your squash.
- Or your carrots.
- Or we succotash
the whole thing up
and make one big
sarcasm out of it.
- I'm gonna call up Charlie
and tell him not to
send the children.
- Why not?
- Because I don't
want to expose them
to whatever you two have.
It might be catching.
- Boy, what a sorehead!
- Yeah, he just
can't stand being a,
Gollee!
Mr. Bare's been
looking all over for this!
- I don't know if
Eleanor's gonna like
sharing her bedroom
with four strange kids.
- Let's not worry about Eleanor.
- Oh, that's it, forget
all she's done for you.
Those cool mornings when she
let you warm your hands on her,
- Keep working, those
kids'll be here tomorrow.
We gotta get this
place cleaned out
and then find something
for them to sleep on.
- Look no further.
- Mr. Haney.
- Okay, Melvin,
drive the truck in.
- Look, Mr. Haney,
who's driving the truck?
- Okay, Melvin,
unload the stuff.
- Yes sir, be right with ya.
- Who's that?
- Melvin Ackerman,
he's an out-of-work actor.
You've seen him in a lot of
them science fiction pictures.
- I didn't see anybody!
- Well, 'cause that's Melvin
is wearing his invisible suit
that he wore in
his last picture,
The Little Man Who Wasn't There.
Okay, Melving,
bring in the cots.
- What cots?
- The ones you ordered
for them little tykes
you're expecting.
- I didn't order
any cots from you.
- Careful with them cots,
Melvin, they're valuable antiques.
Eb, why don't you
give Melvin a hand?
- I'm not going
near him, er, it, what.
- Er, look, Mr. Haney, I...
- Where do you want this?
- Oh, Melvin, you took
off your invisible suit.
I guess he don't
want to get it dirty
in case he gets a
call from Hollywood.
- This is the most ridiculous...
- Can I have your
autograph, Mr. Melvin?
- Oh will you...
- Just put the cot
over there, Mel.
Ain't that a beauty?
- Well, it's not a beauty,
but it looks alright.
What's it gonna
cost me to rent them?
- You only pay for 'em
while you're using 'em.
$2 for the first hour
and 25 cents for
every hour thereafter.
Here, let me demonstrate.
- What's that?
- A cot-o-meter.
- A cot-o...
- It's activated by the
pressure of the body
and the ticking
sound also serves
to lull the little
ones to sleep.
- Look, Mr. Haney.
- You owe me $2 and 20 cents.
- I think your
meter is a little fast.
- You shoulda seen the taxi
dancer that used to own it.
- Uh, hey, hey, wait a minute,
before you unload any more cots,
let's get the price settled.
I'll give you $10 for
four cots for one week.
- Well...
- No, take it or leave it.
- Since it's for a good
cause, I'll take the 25.
- 10.
- Well, that's not as good a
cause as 25, but it's a deal.
Okay, Melvin, bring
in the rest of the cots.
I guess Melvin put his
invisible suit back on.
- Look, I think we ought
to get acquainted here.
You want to
introduce yourselves?
- My name's John Bennet.
- Lori Baker.
- Roy Takahashi.
- George Carlson.
- Eb Dawson.
- He's not with us!
- Don't worry about him.
That's Eb, our hired hand.
- Hi, kids!
- Now, why don't we get going.
Everybody pick up their
suitcases, that's right,
come along, darling.
- What's that?
- This is where we live.
- I thought they only
had tenements in the city.
- This is not a tenement.
- It would be, if it would
have a fire escape.
- Where do we sleep?
- In the barn, I'll show ya.
- Are you children hungry?
- Yes, ma'am.
- Not you.
- I'm starved.
- Well, I'll fix you some
lunch while you all get settled.
- Okay, kids, let's go.
- Look at the sign.
- Yes, I guess Eb
put that up for you.
- Welcome to Green Acme?
- Acres.
- He's got a reading problem.
- What's that?
- It's an eagle!
- Haha, no, that's a chicken.
Haven't you ever
seen one before?
- Not with its clothes on.
- What?
- Once they get in the
butcher shop, they're all bare.
- Somebody left an egg here.
- Yeah, that belongs to the hen.
She laid it there.
- Why didn't she eat it?
- Well, chickens don't eat eggs.
You see, she laid it there,
and she's trying to hatch it.
A little baby chick
will come out of it.
That's how chickens are born.
- I wasn't born that way.
My mother told me that...
- Er, let's go into
the barn, huh?
- What's he blushing for?
- Come in.
- Alright, this is where
you're gonna sleep.
Now everybody choose a cot.
- Mr. Douglas?
- Yes?
- I can't sleep here.
- Why not?
- Well, I'm a girl,
and they're boys.
- Oh, what's the difference?
- Boys are the ones that shave
and girls are the ones
that say, you cut yourself.
- Yeah, I've heard that.
Well, I'll tell ya, we'll fix
up a partition later on, huh?
(loud moo)
- What's that?
- It's a water buffalo.
- It is not, it's a moose!
- No, no, it's a cow.
This is where we
get our milk from.
- Where do the
bottles come out of?
- Oh, it doesn't
come out of bottles.
It comes out of the, the,
- He's blushing again.
- Would you like to
see how it works?
- [Children] Yeah!
- Alright, hand me that
bucket there, will ya', George?
Lori, could you
get me the stool?
- Is she going to sit on this?
- No, no, I am!
- Mr. Douglas, if
she gives the milk,
how come you get to sit
down and she has to stand up?
- Well, I'll show ya'.
Are you, uh, ready, Eleanor?
(moos loudly)
Alright, there we go.
(milk squirting into bucket)
- It works!
- It's some kinda trick.
- No, it isn't.
Here, come on, you try it.
Alright, now put your
hands down there.
Now pull down.
(moos loudly)
Easy, easy, work your fingers.
- She's empty.
- No, no, keep trying.
(milk squirts into bucket)
That's the stuff.
- Hey, look, I'm a milkman!
- Hey, let me try it.
(children arguing)
- No, wait, there'll be
time enough for everybody.
One at a time, here.
(moos loudly)
- Lunch is ready.
(children exclaiming excitedly)
Come on children, I
fixed you a good lunch.
- Aren't you coming,
Mr. Douglas?
- No, I've had one
of her good lunches.
- All through?
- Yeah, that's a real feed.
- I never had a sardine and
peanut butter sandwich before.
- Er, if you're well enough,
I'll take you for
a tour of the farm.
- We have to help Mrs.
Douglas with the dishes.
- Oh, that's alright,
I have a system.
See, there we are.
- Groovy!
- Like this, I can wash the
dishes and the tablecloths
at the same time.
- Come on, let's go.
You've all seen how
we grow tomatoes, huh?
Do you know what this is?
- Don't tell me.
Let me guess.
- Not you.
- It's corn.
- Right.
- Boy, he has some imagination.
- Can I pick one?
- Sure, go right ahead.
Oh, no, not that way, no.
Here, like this.
There you are.
See?
- Mr. Douglas, who's he?
- Oh, that's our scarecrow.
- His name is Wilbur.
He used to own this farm, but
he gambled away his money
and Mr. Douglas gave him a job
because he felt sorry for him.
- Will you stop
telling those wild...
- What does he do?
- Well, he scares the crows
away that come to eat the corn.
- How does he do that?
- He has a big stick
and he hits 'em.
- Oh, boy.
- Do you suppose we
could grow something?
- Well, I don't see why not.
I'll tell you what.
I'll go into Drucker's
tomorrow and get some seeds,
and then you can all
plant your own gardens.
- [Children] Yay!
- Lori, radishes.
And George, turnips.
Roy, carrots.
And, let's see,
John, beets for John.
- Mr. Douglas?
- Yeah.
- They've got the wrong
seeds in this package.
- Oh?
- It says radishes
on the package,
but they don't
taste like radishes.
- What are ya, no, no,
you're not supposed to...
- Well, looks like I got
here just in time, huh?
Teaching the kids
how to eat seeds, huh?
- Oh, come on,
I'm not teaching...
- Well, I'll take over
now, Mr. Douglas.
- Well, fine, fine.
Children, this gentleman
is from the Department
of Agriculture.
- That's right.
I am County Kimway,
your Hank agent.
No, I'm County Hank,
your Kimball agent.
Well, now that I got
that straightened out,
well, not straightened out,
still bent a little (laughs).
Anyway, I am now going to
teach you everything I know
about, er, well, not everything,
I have to save a little
something for myself (laughs).
- Is he for real?
- I'm afraid so.
- Now, the first thing
we're gonna do is,
no, that's the second thing.
The first thing is, er,
what are they doing again?
- Planting seeds.
- Oh.
Are there any other questions?
- Mr. Agent, how do the
seeds know what they are?
- Well, that's a very
intelligent question.
What was the question again?
- How do the seeds
know what they are?
Like, how do they know
whether they're a carrot
seed or a radish seed?
- That's easy, they
look at the picture
on the front of the
package they're in.
- Oh, for the love of...
- Well, I, uh, concludes
today's lesson in, er,
whatever you're doing,
and tomorrow we'll take up
on whatever we
skipped today, huh?
I thank you.
- Okay, now I'll show you
how to plant the seeds.
This is how you do it.
- Okay, now, go to
sleep, sleep tight.
Hey, where's John?
- Here I am.
- Oh, where were you?
- I went out to my garden to
see if anything's growing yet.
- Oh, no, you just
planted the thing.
They don't grow that fast.
Alright, have a nice
sleep, now, huh?
See you in the morning.
Come on, Lisa.
- Right away.
Good night, Lori.
- Good night, Mrs.
Douglas, you're real nice.
- So are you, darling.
Oliver.
(bucket clangs)
Ooh, go back to sleep, darling.
Why, what a bunch
of party poopers.
It's hardly eight o'clock and
they all wanted to go to bed.
They didn't even want to
go to the drive-in theater.
- Well, they had
a big day today,
planting and running around,
climbing trees,
all that fresh air.
- I was watching.
You'd make a marvelous father.
- Oh, thank you.
- You know, little Lori
doesn't have a father.
- Oh?
- That's very sad, because
a girl needs a father.
I was very lucky.
I had a marvelous father,
even though he was the king.
- You and your king father.
- When I was a little girl,
he let me sit on the throne
and wear a skin hat.
- Fine, fine.
- We used to play
all sorts of games,
like lock the duke
in the dungeons,
or choose the prime minister.
- What kind of a...
- Father always took
me everywhere with him,
even when he went to collect
the taxes from the pheasants.
- The pheasants?
- You know how I
got my allowance?
He used to let me dip
my hand into the tax bag,
and whatever I could
hold onto, I could keep.
- Well, that's very...
- Once I took out
more than 700 pesos.
- Pesos?
Thought you said
this was in Hungary.
- Yes, lots of the
pheasants were w*tbacks.
- Let's go to bed.
I'm gonna have a
busy day tomorrow.
- And what are you going to do?
- Well, for one thing, I'm
gonna take the kids swimming.
- Oh.
- Hello, there.
I thought you went
swimming with the boys.
- They didn't want me.
- Well, why not?
- They wanted to
go skinny-dipping.
- What's that?
- They don't wear
any bathing suits.
- Why don't we girls
do something together.
- Like what?
- Do you know
how to bake a cake?
- No, ma'am.
- Neither do I.
Well, we'll have to
think of something else.
Maybe we could take a
drive to Drucker's store
and do some shopping.
- That sounds like fun.
- Do you know how to drive?
- No.
- Well, that takes care of that.
What else would you like to do?
- I always heard that farm
women made jams and jellies.
- I heard that, too.
Would you like to do that?
- Do you know how?
- No, but I've seen jars
of jellies in the stores,
and it doesn't look too hard.
- That was fun.
- We sure did enjoy that swim.
- Achoo!
- I hope you didn't catch cold.
- Yeah, you should
have worn your trunks.
C'mon, let's see if anything's
growing in our garden.
- Yeah.
- Oh, well, fellas, there
won't be anything growing,
oh.
- Well, what's going on here?
- We're making jelly.
- Jelly?
- Yes, we were just
going to put it in the jars.
- Oh, what kind of jelly?
- Banana.
- Banana jelly?
- Well, that's the only kind
of fruit we had in the house.
- You can't make...
- This one's cooked enough.
- Yes, it's ready, there.
There's one jar ready.
- Er, even if there was
such a thing as banana jelly,
don't you think you
ought to take the bananas
out of the skins?
- Why, we followed the
recipe out of the cookbook,
How to Make Strawberry Jam,
and it didn't say to
take the strawberries
out of their skin.
- Er, but, the...
- This one's ready.
- Ooh, that's right,
there's another one.
- Uh, I'll see you later, huh.
- Where are you going?
- Well, I think I'll go
out and get a little air,
I'm feeling a little queasy.
- What does he mean?
Queasy?
- I don't know.
Let's see if another
one is ready.
- Nothing's grown.
- It's only been six days.
- But we're going home tomorrow.
- Well, the seventh
day's the lucky day.
Tomorrow, everything
will be growing.
- Lisa, why do you tell...
- Of course, you have to
do what we did in Hungary.
- What's that?
- Well, you have to
take a piece of dirt
and sleep with it
under your pillow,
and you have to wish very hard.
- I'm going to bed right now.
- Me, too.
- Lisa, why did you tell
those kids that nonsense
about sleeping with
dirt under their pillow?
- Why, you'll see
what will happen.
- The only thing that'll happen
is that they'll wake up
with an ear full of dirt.
- As my father always said,
it's always good to have
something to look forward to
when you're looking back at it.
- Tell me, didn't your
father ever say anything
that made any sense?
- Ooh, what have
you got in here?
- Jars of banana jelly.
- I thought they should have
something to eat on the train.
- Alright.
C'mon, everybody in the car.
- I don't want to go home.
- Oh, I'm sorry,
but, where's John?
- He went to see what's
growing in his garden.
- There isn't anything...
- Hey, kids, our garden grew!
- Wow, look at my turnip.
- Mr. Douglas, we're farmers.
- Lisa, did you put the...
- That dirt under the
pillow always works.
- It sure does.
Mr. Douglas, you
ought to try that.
Maybe you would
get something to grow.
- Goodbye, Mr. And Mrs. Douglas.
- Bye bye.
- Thanks so much.
I'm going to miss you.
- Oh, you come back anytime.
- Oh, of course, you come.
Goodbye, darling.
- It was the best
week I ever had.
- Oh, thank you, thank you.
- I sure will miss my garden.
- You're going to
be a great farmer.
- So long!
- We enjoyed having you here!
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
- Lori, why aren't
you, stop the train!
Lori, come here.
Why did you get off the train?
- Well, you said come
back again, so here I am.
- Oh, it's so good
to see you again.
Eb, take her back
to the car and...
- No, no, no, Lisa, her
parents will be waiting for her.
- She doesn't have any parents.
Just an aunt.
- Well, she...
- Can't I stay?
- Of course you can!
- No, you can't.
- Yes, she can.
- Oh, will you stay out of this.
- Well, she'll have to stay
at least until tomorrow,
because there isn't
another train today.
- Oh, alright, I'll
have to call Charlie
and tell him what happened.
- Oliver.
- Yeah.
- It's so nice having a
little girl around the house.
Why don't we keep
Lori for another week?
- No, I told Charlie she'd
be leaving tomorrow.
- Well, you could
call him and ask him
if it would be alright.
- Alright, I'll call
him in the morning.
- I am sure if you'll call,
he'll say it'll be alright if
she'll stay another month.
Isn't that how long
the school vacation is?
- No, no, it's three months.
- Well, three months
would be even better.
- Lisa, she can't...
- Oh, Oliver, she's
such a nice little girl.
And she likes you.
- Yeah, well, uh...
- You always said,
if we had children,
you would want
it to be a little girl.
- I don't need a
little girl, I got you.
- That's sweet.
Then can she stay?
- We'll see.
- Ooh, you're a good sport.
- Yeah.
Where are you going?
- I'll be right back.
- Do you promise?
- I promise.
(playful music)
This has been a Filmways
presentation, darling.