02x14 - Strange Bedfellows

[bunniefuu]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

You ready?

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, one, two, three.

Oh, give me.

Thanks.

I'm not much of
a breakfast eater,

so, you know, don't go
to any trouble there.

Raisin toast, coffee,
cream, no sugar, right?

Uh, yeah.

And you're black coffee,

a plain bagel, and
fresh orange juice,

when you're in the
mood to squeeze.

Michael, there's something
that we should probably

get clear early on.

Yeah, the ground rules?

No, nothing that specific.

I just think that it's important

for us to stay aware
of our circumstances.

You mean the fact
that I'm here only

because of my condition?

I'm aware, Jane.

Believe me, every moment
of every day, I'm aware.

Michael, I want to be sensitive

to your situation, but you need

to understand that
I have a pattern

to my life now.

One that...

I've gotten very used to,

and one that I like.

All right, and that pattern

includes dating Robert.

Uh-huh.

What exactly are you wanting me

to hear in all this?

That I have no intention

of living any differently
while you're here.

Well, Jane, the last
thing I want to do

is cramp your style.

Good. The truth is,

I'm just grateful that
you took me in at all.

Then we understand each other.

Perfectly.

No questions, comments,

interfering with my life

or anybody in it.

Yeah, you'll barely
know I'm here.

Oh.

What is it?

Well, I like mine

a little more burnt, remember?

Right.

So, according to
your financial people,

sales have gone up %

since we launched phase
one of the campaign.

And that was only
in limited markets.

Right. In phase two,
we're tripling.

Microcomp's exposure,
expanding into

mainstream publications,

radio, some TV.

It seems our partnership

has definitely been
a fruitful one.

And a continuing one,

I hope I'm safe in assuming.

Of course.

It's impressive work all around.

Especially yours, Alison.

You've been instrumental.

I appreciate it.

Thanks.

So, we'll meet
next week to review

the implementation of phase two?

No, no, I'll be sending
my VP of Finance in

to pinch-hit for me
while I'm away.

Oh. Vacationing?

Strictly business.

I'll be spending the
next six months in Paris

setting up our
European division.

Oh, going international
in just your

third year of business?
Congratulations.

That's terrific news.

Thank you.

I'll be sending postcards.

Steve.

Paris, for six months.

When did you decide that?

Recently.

Undertake a gigantic project

in an exciting city
for months on end...

It's not a bad way
to get over someone.

I want to apologize if
I complicated your life.

I certainly never meant to.

Oh, I know you didn't.

By Tuesday next week,

I'll be out of
your hair for good.

No more beepers,
no more last-minute

meetings or weekend work.

Take care, Alison.

Really let that one

slip through your
fingers, didn't you?

Billy, Celia...

The three of us have to talk.

Nancy, call on line two.

After this phone call.

Nancy Donner.

Why do I get the feeling

we're gonna be working
overtime this weekend?

What do you care?

You don't have a life anymore.

You got dumped, right?

No, I did not.

I moved out, and
she didn't stop me.

There's a difference.

Oh.

No, Wednesday's no good.

Monday at the latest.

Okay.

Okay, we got a situation
here, and it's dire.

This month's feature article...

The one on the local cult.

Yes, well it seems that they are

threatening to sue.

So Legal wants us to shelve it

until they get it resolved.

Which means you want one of us

to write a new feature?

Which means we're four days

away from publication.

I need to find something

equally as titillating,

fast.

I can do titillating.

Ordinarily, I'd be
handing this off

to more seasoned writers.

But I'm gonna stick

my neck out for you two,

because I believe in giving

staffers a chance.

That, and this project
happens to fit

both your profiles, and
that you're both single.

I don't get it.

Video dating.

I want a tandem article
based on both your

personal experiences with it.

Now, there's a service
called "Mate Matcher."

I've signed you both up.

Nancy, you actually
want us to go out

on dates with the losers

who patronize these places?

I mean, video dating
is like old news.

Whose idea was this?

Mine.

You know, I shouldn't have to

remind either one of you

that opportunities like this

don't come knocking every day.

So, warm up to the idea.

That's it, right?

Very thorough.

Excellent work, Mr. Hanson.

Thank you, but I think I'll pass

on making a career
choice out of it.

So, what's next?

We continue gathering evidence.

Do everything we can

to make Woodward's
arrest airtight.

It's funny, you talk like Palmer

is some kind of
hardened criminal.

Isn't this a little
penny ante for the FBI

to be involved in?

On its own, sure.

But Woodward's no first-timer.

He's run plenty of scams.

This just happens
to be the closest

we've gotten to him.

You'd never know it.

He's good at what he does.

So, our business is finished?

Almost.

There's one more thing

we'd like you to do for us...

Get Woodward to talk
about the operation

while you're wearing a wire.

A wire? Are you nuts?

If we can get an admission

of guilt on tape,

we'll be able to throw away

this guy's key.

I can't do that.

He'll know I'm pumping
him for info.

And when this whole
thing goes down,

he's gonna know I was involved,

and so will his daughter.

There is that risk, yes.

You said my part in this

would be completely anonymous.

Things change, Mr. Hanson.

And when they do,

we all have to adjust.

: , Jake?

I was beginning to think

we should call the authorities.

I'm sorry, I, uh...

I got tied up doing an errand.

I'll skip lunch tomorrow.

Everything okay?

You seem a little on edge.

I'm fine, fine.

Just, you know,

taking care of overdue bills.

That always makes me edgy.

Take it easy, son.

Life's too short to, um,

start worrying about
the little things.

Besides, my daughter is holding

for you on line two.

Yeah. Jake...

We need to talk. It's urgent.

What's wrong?

I can't go into it
over the phone.

Just meet me tonight at :

on the corner of
Melrose and Larkin.

Hey, Amanda, what's going on?

Is there a problem?

Just meet me there.

Oh.

Oh, ge...

Unh! Ah.

Oh.

Ah!

Help!

Oh, damn it.

Help!

Help.

Somebody!

Help!

Ah!

Help! Somebody!

In here! Hey!

In here!

Michael, what happened?

Oh, thank God it's you.

Are you okay?

Oh, God.

Help me up.

Hey.

Where you going?
Help me up already!

Did you hurt yourself?

No, I don't think so.

I'm not sure.

Look... would you get
me off the floor already?

Actually, maybe now
is a good time

for us to talk.

Now?

Well, I haven't been
able to see you in days.

You won't talk to me.

You've completely shut
me out of your life.

What am I supposed to do,

just fade away because
you want me to?

Sydney, I'm in pain here.

I need my medication.

I wanted to be there for you

in your time of need, Michael.

And all you could do
was be cruel.

And you said some
horrible things to me.

Please.

I'm sorry, Syd. Now, please...

What you don't understand

is that you really hurt me.

I think I'm having a spasm.

And the only thing that would

make me feel better

is if you let me
back into your life.

I mean, it's only
fair, isn't it?

That we at least be friends?

Yes.

Friends. I swear.

I knew you'd see it my way.

Now, let's get you back
into that comfy bed.

Jake!

Amanda, what is this all about?

It's a surprise.

It's your Christmas present.

I'm taking you on
a skiing trip, with...

equipment and clothes to match.

So, what do you think,

Rossis or K s?

I don't know.

I don't even know how to ski.

So what? I'll teach you.

Besides, I'm sure
you're a natural, anyway.

Isn't this gonna be wonderful?

Yeah.

After all, I owe you.

For what?

For being there.

For being patient.

I mean, I've been in

some hurtful relationships,

and when we first got together,

I was pretty closed off.

And you cared enough

to really get to know me,

which is more than what

most people would do.

It's their loss.

Feels so good to trust someone

for a change.

It's gonna be a great Christmas.

Come on, let's go buy some skis.

Come on.

What's going on?

Hey, buddy, this is
who you're looking for.

You Alison Parker?

Yeah, what's this?

All I've got to say is,

you must mean a lot

to this "Steve" character.

Oh, my...

Thanks.

See ya.

Yup, I can remember
when you wouldn't

get rid of that old car

because it had too
much sentimental value.

Oh, Billy.

But I guess everything
is replaceable

when something shinier
comes along.

Well, I personally
do not believe

in premarital sex
because I think

sex is the smallest
part of love.

You know, there's too
much emphasis put on it.

But that's not to say that

we can't kiss or anything,

but for me the best thing to do

would be to have a strong
relationship first,

then get married,
then fool around.

But my all-time favorite thing

to do is square dance.

I mean, it's fun, it's social,

and it's a good workout,

considering I go three
or four times a week.

And I teach practically
every guy I go out with.

Sure, some guys think
it's geeky at first,

but by the time
I'm through with them,

they're just as hooked
on it as me!

What are you watching?

Video dating possibilities.

It's for a feature I'm writing.

Well, he has to love dogs,

because I have three
adorable cocker spaniels

that are just like my babies,

but he also has to like malls

because I love to shop.

Unless he pulls out
a wad of money, then...

you're with him.

Well, there it is.
That proves it.

All the great women are taken.

As you say, usually
by rich jerks.

You waiting for someone?

No.

Can I talk to you for a second?

Sure.

I probably shouldn't
get you involved,

but I'm into
something kind of deep

and I don't know how to get out.

What's going on now?

You can't say anything
to anyone about this.

Not even Alison.

I don't think you have to worry

about that happening
anytime soon.

You know Amanda's father.

His whole business is a scam.

He's got a bunch of guys

building these
reproductions, and then he's

passing them off as originals

at three times the money.

Are you serious?

How did you figure it out?

Well, easy.

Between the stuff I saw,

and a visit from the FBI,

it all sort of fell into place.

Wow. Does Amanda know?

She thinks that Palmer
walks on water.

She has no idea that,

according to them,

this guy has pulled every kind

of scam known to man.

Now they want to bust him...

with my help.

Like, doing what?

Well, first it was simple.

They just wanted file copies

and certificates and, you
know, a paper trail.

Now they want me to wear a wire,

and get him to admit
to everything.

Are you kidding?

You're not gonna do it, are you?

That's the problem.
I don't have a choice.

What are you talking about?

Of course you do.

I mean, they can't force you

to do their spy work for them.

I mean, that's like
extortion or something.

I mean, it's Amanda's father,

for crying out loud.

They can't expect you to live

with putting the guy in jail.

You don't think I know
what's gonna happen

when this whole thing goes down?

I'm gonna lose her.

If I were you, I'd just

tell the FBI to go to hell.

Do you want some more coffee?

Oh, no, I'm fine, thanks.

All right.

Didn't I get you that outfit?

Oh, that's right.

I found it tucked away
in the back of my closet.

I haven't worn it in months.

Okay, so you got your food,

your remote control,

a bottle of water,
and the phone.

Anything else you need?

Guess I'm all set.

Great, then I'll be
back at lunchtime,

but I can only stay
for a few minutes today.

How come?

Because I have other plans.

Consisting of?

Michael...

remember what we had
talked about yesterday?

The fact that we
have separate lives?

Sure, but...

shouldn't I know where
you are at all times?

What happens if there
is an emergency?

Fine, I'll be at Citrus.

Really? With who?

Michael!

I'm not being nosy.

It's just, what
if the reservation

isn't under your name?

Describe me to the maître d'.

I quit.

I see.

So, you plan to
just keep punching

the time clock,
business as usual?

What you don't understand

is that his daughter and I...

Are romantically involved.

Mr. Hanson, this is the FBI.

You seem to be under
the mistaken impression

that you've been
doing us a favor.

That's right, I have,

and it's gotten old.

Jake, your hands are all
over the operation.

A little detail
Woodward always sees to

when he picks a fall guy.

In fact, we have enough evidence

to hang the entire body of

criminal charges on you solely,

if necessary.

After all, you knew
what you were doing.

Not at first, I didn't.

Oh, try explaining that
technicality to a jury.

So you're gonna blackmail me?

No.

I'm just pointing out
that you need us

more than we need you.

A linebacker?

Yeah, figured I'd get
a few Raiders tickets

out of the deal, you know?

If I've got to break bread

with some goon I wouldn't

ordinarily give the
right time of day to,

I might as well be compensated.

Oh, I'm sure you'd do
exactly the same thing.

Yeah, I'm sure.

You're agreeing with me?

Oh, there's something
wrong with this picture.

No, I'm not sick.

I just can't get
into this assignment.

It's stupid.

What are you talking about?

This is a feature. The big time.

What is this, "I can't
get into it" crap?

Maybe I'm just not
as resilient as you,

but I just broke up
with somebody

that I was pretty
seriously involved with.

So, excuse me if I don't want

to pick a new date off of

some -inch monitor.

Look... maybe I can help.

You know, I have had my share

of tangles, God knows.

So, if you want to tell me

about it, I would be more

than happy to listen.

Are you serious?

As the pope on Good Friday.

The thing is...

it was bad enough
to lose Alison,

but to lose her to some guy

who comes along and sweeps
her off her feet

with cars, and a ranch,
and fancy restaurants...

I mean, what am I supposed
to do with that?

If that's all it took
to replace me,

what did I really mean to her

in the first place, you know?

You ready for my comments?

Yes.

That was the point, wasn't it?

This assignment
is very important,

not only to me,
but to the magazine.

Now, Nancy stuck
her neck out for us.

We're obligated
to do a great job,

and to meet deadline.

Now, here's the advice part.

Get over it, partner.

♪ ♪

I'm glad you decided
to have dinner with me.

Me, too.

But, about the car...

No, I'm not gonna
take "no" for an answer.

Not tonight, anyway.

Now, see, the polite

thing to do is to at least

flirt with the idea
for hours.

♪ ♪

What does Billy think of it?

I have a confession to make.

He moved out while
I was in San Francisco.

Really?

I'm sorry.

It wasn't your fault.

We just can't seem
to make it work.

No matter how hard we try,

we always wind up
in opposite corners.

I don't know what...
Or if...

This means anything as far as

you and I are concerned.

Then why didn't you mention it?

I'm not sure.

As much as I hate to see you go

through something this painful,

I'd be lying to you
if I told you

I wasn't... a little
bit grateful.

In fact, I must have

a guardian angel
looking out for me,

because this feels very much

like a second chance.

♪ ♪

Is it?

Yeah. Maybe it is.

Then I have an idea.

How about we break
in the new car

and drive out to the ranch
for the weekend?

We'll get reacquainted.

We'll see what it feels like

between us without
complications.

Oh, I don't know.
It seems a little soon.

Give it a sh*t.
That's all I ask.

♪ ♪

Come on in.

You're here awfully late.

I kind of wanted to talk to you.

You got a minute?

For my best mechanic?
I'm all ears.

Let's have it.

I think I have, uh...

noticed some things
about the business.

I don't mean to
be disrespectful.

I appreciate everything
you've done for me.

But I can't help but feel

there's something
shady going on.

I just want us to
be honest with each other.

How much do you want?

Excuse me?

Don't play games, Jake.

How the hell much do you want

to keep your trap
shut about this?

I don't want money.

It's just that,
I'm working with you.

I don't like to be kept
in the dark about things.

Especially since we're
practically family.

All right.

Ask your question.

Are you selling these

reproductions as originals?

Give the man a cigar.

Okay.

So, how does it work?

How do you find clients?

It's all about connections.

You hit the underground
market quickly,

make a bundle, and close up shop

before anyone is the wiser.

How do you convince the
buyers that they're real?

Certificates of authenticity
are a dime a dozen.

So are willing signatories.

So, do you just pay
experts to sign off

the cars, or do you

forge the signatures yourself?

You son of a bitch!

Palmer Woodward,
you're under arrest.

Hold it. Hold it right there.

I'll crush you.

We need to talk. Ah!

I can't now. Something
horrible has happened.

Daddy's been arrested.

I know. The police called,

I have to bail him out.

Were you there when it happened?

Amanda, I can't tell
you how sorry I am

this is all happening.

What's going on?

What do you know?

The FBI...

they made me a part of it.

Wait, wait, uh...
I don't understand.

You're responsible?

No! Yes.

He was doing everything

that they said he was doing.

He was running a scam.

What?

It's true, all of it.

Amanda. God!

Amanda, listen to me!

You don't know what
you're talking about.

Yes, I do.
Would you listen to me?

No. Let go of me!

Amanda, I'm sorry.

I had no choice.

I can't believe you.

Amanda!

Come on... come on,
you're hurting me!

How are you feeling?

Are you all right?

Been better.

Are you hungry or anything?

We could go somewhere,
grab a bite.

No.

It'll be lunch time by the time

we get to the
Santa Barbara house.

You can relax there,
take a sauna.

Put this ridiculous
situation behind you

until it gets straightened out.

Amanda, I know you and
Jake have been close,

so I have to ask you this.

You believe I'm
innocent, don't you?

Of course.

Of course.

I'm sorry honey.

I don't mean to question
you, of all people.

But when you've been betrayed,

and when it comes
from someone you

not only trusted but someone

you bent over
backwards to help...

I know, daddy. I know.

Just tell me what he did.

I want to know everything.

It's still hard
for me to believe.

Once Jake got his foot
in the door,

he approached my associate
in the business.

Together they set up
a situation in which

they would pawn off

reproductions as originals.

I would make
the initial contact,

turn it over to them,

then they would turn around

and counter-offer the client

a so-called original instead.

When I started
getting suspicious,

Jake set me up to take the fall.

This is so unbelievable.

I mean, when I was with him,

it seemed so safe and so real.

But it couldn't have been.

Otherwise, how could he...

He's a pro.

He needed money, that's how.

What do you really
know about him,

or his past?

How much do you know
about any of the men

you get involved with?

The only good thing
about him is that

you found out about him
before it was too late.

Imagine how he might have

deceived you in the future.

I'm... I'm sorry. I don't...

I hate to be the one to
tell you these ugly things.

I just don't know how
I could have been

so wrong about him,
been so stupid.

Don't blame yourself, Amanda.

There are just some people

you can never truly know.

There you are. Thank you.

You're welcome.

So, you're a writer?

Film or television?

Uh, magazine.

Bet that pays well.

So, are you from here?

What part of town
do you live in?

Give me the Reader's
Digest condensed version.

I'm a native Angelino.

Actually, I'm from the valley,

but that's basically
the same thing.

And I live in the
Melrose area now.

Oh, great neighborhood

for homes.

Really kept its value.

I wouldn't know.
Not a home-owner.

What about your parents?

What do they do?

Why would you want to
know about my parents?

Just curious.

Oh, well, it's funny,

you've been curious about
five times to my one.

Sorry, I've just been under
a lot of pressure lately.

Oh, that's okay.

Well, thanks for understanding.

So, tell me,

what kind of car do you drive?

I don't drive a BMW,
if that's what you're after.

Look, maybe you should just

cross me off your list
before we waste

any more of your time.

I just happen to believe
you can tell

a lot about a person
by the kind of

car they drive, that's all.

Give me a break.

I mean, you're not
interested in me,

you're interested
in my credit rating

like every other woman.

I mean, you all say you
want real relationships

and then as soon as
some guy with big bucks

comes on the scene,
you're gone with the wind.

Maybe it's obsolete, but...

I'm looking for a woman
who just wants me...

for me.

Uh...

It was nice meeting you.

Hey.

Hi.

So, my linebacker proved
to be a real lughead.

Burgers, fries, and an arcade.

And then he had the nerve
to drop me off

after I kicked his butt
in air hockey.

What's the matter, tiger?

Your small talk a little rusty?

No, there was
small talk, all right.

It just wasn't mine.

Three minutes into the date

I left her at the restaurant,

after I pretty much
called her a gold digger.

Wait, let me get this straight.

You didn't take your
date to completion?

Well, terrific.

What are your words
gonna be about, Einstein?

How to ruin two
journalistic careers

in three minutes or less?

I don't know. I'll
think of something.

Yeah, well you sure
as hell better,

because this is my
feature break too!

You know what your
problem is, Campbell?

You are immature.

A serious journalist
would not let

his screwed-up personal life

get in the way of a deadline.

It's unprofessional.

And what's worse, it's selfish.

Yeah, well selfish
seems to be working

for everyone else around here,

including you, lady.

So maybe it's time
I tried it myself.

And don't worry about
my side of the article.

I'll just write about
what really happened.

Dating from the male
perspective.

It sucks.

Not a bad ride, huh?

Compared to my old clunker,
it's a Lexus.

Good.

I hope that means
you'll change your mind.

Oh, it is so beautiful here!

Yeah, I think of it as
my outdoor think t*nk.

I come here whenever I
need to make decisions,

or put things in perspective.

Ah.

I usually go to
the beach for that.

Have you been lately?

No.

What?

You're staring.

Well...

we're just so different.

You have everything.

Meaning, I have money.

Steve, that part of you
matters the least to me.

You are an intelligent man.

An adult. You've got drive,

and life experiences,

and interests.

And you're funny.

Sexy.

The feeling is quite mutual.

You know, about a week
ago I came out here

and I tried to
imagine my future.

And at the time, what I thought

what I came up with
was mostly a fantasy.

But now I'm beginning to think

it was more of a psychic flash.

Really?

What did you see?

Us.

Having a true partnership.

Working together, living
together, traveling.

Me actually having a life

outside of Microcomp.

Family.

I love you, Alison.

Amanda.

Let's keep this simple,

because I don't have
much to say to you.

Can't you at least come in?

No, I think I'll wait until
it's been fumigated.

What are you talking about?

I just came by to tell you
that I'm taking every

measure to have you
evicted from this

apartment as soon as possible.

So if I were you, I'd
buy the paper tomorrow.

Wait a minute.

You can't just take his side

without giving me
a chance to explain.

Explain what?

That you set my father up?

That you put him in jail?

Is that what he told you?

Can't you see that he's lying?

Oh, for God's sake, stop it!

Amanda.

The charade is over!

Why don't you just admit

that you used him,
that you used me?

How can you say that?

You know that I care about you.

Actually, the only thing
I know for certain

is that I want you
out of our lives.

Amanda, your father
is a con artist.

The FBI was on to him

long before I came
onto the scene.

Think about it!

That sting didn't
happen overnight!

Amanda, your father is a crook.

Trust me on that.

If you're not out of here

by the end of the week,

I'll have you thrown out.

♪ ♪

Always makes me feel better

to see it on the table.

Hmm.

Call it a quirk.

Give me a beer, would ya?

Sure.

That was a good game.

If you want, next time

I'll take longer, you know,

in front of your
friends and all.

Thanks a lot, honey.

Hey.

Hi. How's it going?

bucks richer. Can't complain.

How are you?

Oh, I'm not so good.

Sorry.

You look good.

Thanks, so do you.

Well, I mean obviously

you're going through something.

But, you do look good,
despite that.

I know what you're saying.

Thank you.

So where are all the regulars?

I don't recognize anyone here.

Me either.

You wanna play a game?

I don't think so, Jake.

We already have.

I hope you don't
think it's hokey.

I just happen to have a thing

for candlelight and jazz.

No. It's nice.

Are you comfortable?

Yeah.

Can I get you anything?

No. No, I'm fine.

What's wrong?

I'm sorry.

Is this going too quickly?

Yeah.

Okay, so we'll watch
a movie or something,

or play Scrabble,

or raid the refrigerator.

Anything you want.

Steve...

Um...

I came up here because
I really thought

I wanted to be with you.

But, sometimes
it takes getting away

from what you really want

in order to realize you want it.

Am I making sense?

Unfortunately.

I care about you.

I think you're wonderful,

and obviously I am very

attracted to you, but...

Billy.

I didn't mean to lead you on,

or confuse you.

I am just as confused myself.

I just don't think I can go from

one relationship to another.

It wouldn't be fair to anyone.

It looks like I'll be calling

my travel agent after all.

I should probably go home.

Yeah, you probably should.

Um, would you drive me?

No.

The car's yours, Alison.

I told you that.

Steve, I can't keep it.

Just let me ask you something.

What does Billy have
that I don't?

I...feel I still have
a commitment to him.

Wow, you sure do know how
to spend a Saturday night.

Oh!

You almost gave me
a heart att*ck.

Sorry.

You need help with the lid?

Obviously.

No need to get snippy.

I'm just trying to help.

Fine, then get the lid off.

No sweat.

Well, at least it wasn't
just me being weak.

This is not exactly helping

in the self-esteem department.

Oh, who are you telling?

Why, what's up with you?

Only a complete betrayal

by someone I cared for deeply.

Why don't you turn it
upside down?

Well, I got you b*at.

I've been screwing up at work,

and I got deserted by
the love of my life,

for money.

Okay, I'll take this one.

Well, you know what?

It just goes to what
I've always thought...

People can't be trusted.

Yeah, well, as soon
as you open up,

you get b*rned. Uh-huh.

All right, now,
on the count of three.

On the count of three.

Are you ready? Ready.

One, two, three.

Oh, my God. Are you okay?

Just dandy.

Oh.