03x22 - Splashdown

[bunniefuu]

It was a perfect launch,

And scorpio , with astronauts tobias and ryan aboard,

Is on its way to make space history.

This is the most complex

And certainly the most ambitious mission

Ever to be attempted by man in outer space.

Man, on radio: tobias and ryan will maneuver their spaceship

To a rendezvous with the unmanned scorpio ex capsule,

Which was sent into orbit weeks ago.

The orbit of scorpio ex

Was changed one hour ago by ground control,

Changed to match the apogee and the perigee

Of scorpio .

I don't get it. They can find

A space capsule in outer space,

But they can't find us here in inner space.

Would you be quiet, gilligan? Thank you.

Man, on radio: when rendezvous is achieved,

Astronaut tobias will leave his spacecraft

And go aboard the unmanned capsule,

And then the astronauts will return to earth

In separate capsules.

Skipper, gilligan, my calculations of the orbital path

Show that the spacecraft

Is going to pass right over us.

Going to pass directly above us? Are you sure?

I'm positive. Scorpio is going to pass

Directly over us on its th, th, and rd orbits.

Well, don't you see?

It's only going to be miles away.

You mean it's just going to be miles away,

And directly above us?

Yes, and by utilizing the spare transistor

And diodes from the radio,

I should be able to establish

Some kind of communication with them.

That means that... We're saved! We're saved!

Yes! Yeah, we're saved!

♪ Just sit right back, and you'll hear a tale ♪

♪ A tale of a fateful trip ♪

♪ That started from this tropic port ♪

♪ Aboard this tiny ship ♪

♪ The mate was a mighty sailin' man ♪

♪ The skipper brave and sure ♪

♪ Passengers set sail that day for a -hour tour ♪

♪ A -hour tour ♪

[Thunder]

♪ The weather started getting rough ♪

♪ The tiny ship was tossed ♪

♪ If not for the courage of the fearless crew ♪

♪ The minnow would be lost, the minnow would be lost ♪

♪ The ship's aground on the shore of this ♪

♪ Uncharted desert isle ♪

♪ With gilligan ♪

♪ The skipper, too ♪

♪ The millionaire and his wife ♪

♪ The movie star ♪

♪ The professor and mary ann ♪

♪ Here on gilligan's isle ♪

Captioning made possible by warner bros.

Lovey, heaven's to cashmere!

There's a moth in my jacket.

Oh, the little rascal!

He probably never ate so well in his life.

The astronauts are coming, the astronauts are coming!

Now, get hold of yourself.

What exactly are you babbling about?

The astronauts! We're going to contact them in orbit,

And we're all going to leave in the space capsule.

I do believe the dear boy has flipped his cowlick.

I gotta tell mary ann and ginger. We're saved, we're saved!

Astronauts? Saved?

I haven't the foggiest notion what he's babbling about.

I do wish gilligan would learn to talk a language

We all understood,

Like english or something.

Wait a minute, lovey. Astronauts. Saved.

He's talking about those chaps in the spaceship,

Ryan and tobias.

Oh, yes.

Oh, I do hope they're traveling first class.

What he means is they've splashed down here.

Th-they've come to rescue us. Let's go greet them.

Oh, how exciting!

Whatever does one say when one meets an astronaut?

One doesn't say anything. One just throws confetti.

Ho! Ho! I love confetti!

Mary ann! Hey, ginger! We're saved!

We're saved, we're saved!

We're saved, we're saved, we're saved!

What do you mean we're saved?

It's the astronauts, it's a space capsule!

Civilization's going back into orbit.

We're saved, we're saved!

You mean the space capsule landed here?

Ooh! Let's go see those astronauts!

And the professor says that we're going to be...

May ann? Ginger?

Mary ann! Ginger!

Where is it, where is it?

Where is it, where is it?

Where's what? The space capsule!

Uh, yes. I want to give the gallant astronauts

A generous tip for rescuing us.

And I want to ask them

Over to our hut for cocktails.

Whatever gave you the crazy idea

That the space capsule landed here?

Gilligan did.

Gilligan, how could you get

Such a simple message so fouled up?

I can't help it if they don't understand

Plain hysterical english.

I'm afraid gilligan got carried away.

The spacecraft hasn't landed.

However, it is orbiting miles directly above us.

But the professor's figured out a way to contact it.

He did? How?

I estimate the capsule will be within range in hours.

Now, at best, all I can transmit is a weak radio signal.

So we're going to have to build a directional cone

To get maximum efficiency. Is that clear?

No.

No, I must say.

No. Uh-uh.

Well, I haven't got time to explain it technically.

There's a great deal of work to be done.

Now, ginger and mary ann,

I want to gather all the vines you can find.

Mr. And mrs. Howell, I want you to get palm leaves

And tear them into strips.

Lovey, i... I never thought that you'd hear

These terrible words from my lips,

But we'll have to go to work.

Work?

Commentator: the scorpio space capsule is on it's ninth orbit.

And passing just a few hundred miles

East of the hawaiian islands.

Standby now for a direct communication from the astronauts.

All right, peddle, everyone.

Peddle!

Peddle!

If these were real bikes,

We could've driven there by now.

Can't we pretend we're going downhill

So we can coast a while?

Oh, my legs feel like spaghetti!

And they're as stiff as breadsticks.

Spaghetti and breadsticks. They must be italian bikes.

Keep peddling. We mustn't lose power!

Commentator: we've run into a problem here at mission control.

Communication with the space capsule

Has been disrupted by a mysterious static.

No one seems to know where it's coming from.

I'm waiting for a report.

Of all the rotten luck!

I wonder where that static's coming from?

It's coming from us. That's our signal!

That's right. When they try to track down the static,

They'll trace the interference to us.

Now, keep peddling! Peddle faster!

Faster! Peddle faster!

Commentator: communications with scorpio are back to normal.

The static interference has stopped.

Well, that does it.

The capsule's gone out of range. You can stop peddling.

[Groaning]

I don't ever want to see another bicycle again

As long as I live.

My gorgeous legs will never be the same.

Scorpio is now passing over the coast of mexico.

It is nighttime there, and command pilot sol tobias reports

They can see the lights of mexico city.

They can see the lights of mexico city.

That means we still have a chance to contact them.

Yeah. Move to mexico city.

Thank you, mr. Howell.

Would you be quiet?

Don't you have any idea, professor?

Now, this is a long sh*t, but... Now, let's see.

They'll be over again on their th orbit.

Now, at minutes per...

That's approximately hours and ...

It just might work!

What is--what might? Be articulate! Think!

We'll spell out s.o.s. Using the trunks of trees.

Sos?

It's a distress signal, gilligan.

Then we'll set them on fire.

Now, there's a good chance the astronauts

Will be able to see that at night.

That's right, professor.

I remember during the flight of the gemini ,

Astronaut gordon cooper said

That he could see houston, texas, plain as anything.

Come on, gilligan. Let's go out

And chop down some trees.

Now, wait a minute, wait a minute.

Those tree trucks may be too green to burn.

They should be soaked with something inflammable.

Yeah, and something that'll catch fire real easy.

Too bad we don't have any gasoline or kerosene.

Well, we must have something. Anything!

Of all the dastardly luck, this is the final blow.

Well, I'm going home to drown my sorrows

In a jigger of brandy.

Brandy!

That's it!

That's it?

What's it?

Now, wait a minute, wait a minute.

What are you all grinning about?

Oh, no. Oh, you--

Yes, you could.

You're all that I have left.

This is inhuman.

That brandy's in its full bloom of life.

It won't be till next june.

We'll get the latest report on the radio.

Commentator: we are now going to try to switch you

To direct communication with the capsule. Stand by.

All right. It's zero hour.

In exactly minutes, the capsule will be directly above us.

Light the logs.

Yes, sir!

Don't look, teddy. My poor brandy.

For crepes suzettes maybe, but for s.o.s. Never.

Skipper: gilligan! Huh?

Your pants!

The scorpio spacecraft is now approaching the hawaiian islands.

We now switch over to the astronauts,

As they report in to mission control.

Oh, I hope they can see our message.

Well, if the don't, my brandy has d*ed in vain.

We're a little east of hawaii.

It's a beautiful night.

We can see the pacific down there.

Sol, look!

Wait a minute.

I see a fire burning on a small island.

It looks like letters.

They see it! They see it!

Ryan, those are letters

Burning down there, aren't they?

Yes. It's some kind of message.

Yeah, that's what it is. S-o-l.

Sol.

Sol? Sol?

Somebody's sending you a greeting.

How about that?

Now I've got my name up in lights.

No, no! It's not sol! It's s.o.s!

S.o.s!

It's s.o.s!

Sol: I want to thank you people down there

On that tiny island for the clever stunt.

We really appreciate your thoughtfulness.

Look!

S.o.s.!

S.o.s.! S.o.s.!

Skipper, that's "s.o.s." Times. Isn't that enough?

I said times.

Now you keep writing.

You're lucky you're alive

After the way you loused up our distress signal.

Commentator: we interrupt this program to bring you

A special news bulletin.

The mission control space center in houston has just reported

That it has momentarily lost contact with the astronauts,

And the unmanned capsule has mysteriously disappeared from the radar screens

Of all tracking stations.

We will give you more details as they come in.

I wonder what could have happened to that capsule?

It couldn't have just disappeared.

[Rockets thrusting]

Hey, skipper, do you hear that thunder?

That wasn't thunder, gilligan.

There isn't a cloud in the sky.

[Gasps] gilligan, look!

Look!

Skipper... It's the sace spacule! I mean, the sace pabcule

I mean, the pace nabsule, nace labsule--

Never mind, gilligan!

It's landed in the lagoon. Let's go.

Ok, sol. Come on out.

Are you fellas ok?

There's no answer. Maybe they're bashful.

I'll let 'em out.

I'll open it, gilligan.

They see you first, they'll think they landed on mars.

It's empty. There's nobody here.

Maybe they're out to lunch.

Out to lunch-- gilligan, you say some of the darnedest things--

Skipper!

Well, did you get the astronauts out?

I don't know. There's nobody in there.

What do you suppose happened to them?

Ahh! This must be

The unmanned scorpio ex target capsule

They sent up first.

It dropped from orbit

Before the astronauts could rendezvous with it.

Well, then...

It would have a radio, wouldn't it? A two-way radio!

You're right! We can contact mission control!

Get in there will you, professor?

All right, gilligan, move!

Oh, no! Look at the radio equipment.

I've heard of short circuits,

But this one must be the shortest.

Oh, we couldn't repair that in a million years.

Maybe we can find out what happened to the other capsule.

Commentator: ...to report that mission control has resumed communications

With tobias and ryan in scorpio .

They solved the problem with their radio.

Maybe they'd like to work on this one.

However, we have lost all contact

With the unmanned scorpio ex capsule.

Oh, turn it off, gilligan.

Oh! Oh, it is a space capsule!

I told you it landed here.

I can't wait to see sol.

I want to give him a big kiss.

Save your pucker, ginger. There's no astronauts.

They sent us an empty.

I don't believe it.

Well, I was in science fiction movies,

And they always had an astronaut aboard the spaceship.

Actually, or used to fight over me.

Hey, listen to this.

Commentator: mission control has received word from the destroyer redwood

That it had the missing space capsule on its radar screen.

It is positive that the unmanned spacecraft

Splashed down in the pacific

A few hundred miles east of hawaii.

Yeah. It's here, it's here! We've got it! We've got it!

A task force of navy ships, planes, and helicopters

Are speeding to the area to search for the capsule,

Which has valuable space data aboard.

If they find it, they'll find us.

Aah! We're gonna be rescued!

Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute!

He said they thought the capsule came down in the ocean.

Why, they may never come near this island.

Gilligan: yeah. We're not even on the map.

Our zip code must be .

We've got to make it easier for them

To find the capsule.

We'll push it out into the lagoon,

And the ocean currents will drag it out to the sea,

And that way it can be spotted by the search ships.

Mr. Howell, why are you dressed like that?

What else would one wear to a splashdown?

Well, that's that.

, , , .

Oop. .

We've been working hours now,

And we're no closer to floating that capsule

Than we were when we started.

Hi. I thought you might like something cold to drink.

Don't mind if I do.

Thank you.

Mrs. Howell and I came down to see

If we could get aboard the spaceship.

Oh, what for?

What for? To be rescued of course.

Mr. Howell, there's only of us

Qualified to ride that capsule out to sea

And direct the rescuers back to the island,

And, obviously, that's the skipper and gilligan.

The professor's right.

Well, I think we should be selected the democratic way,

According to our social position.

Mrs. Howell's right.

Gilligan, will you stop that and be quiet?

Well, I think I should go.

I mean, there'll be photographers there,

And I take wonderful cheesecake pictures.

Ginger's right.

Gilligan, why don't you go away someplace?

Well, I think ginger's right.

I think we girls should go in the capsule.

After all, there's something aboard we're very anxious to see.

Skipper: what?

The astronauts.

Now, there's no question

But that the skipper and gilligan are the ones to go.

Now, I really must insist.

Well, I think we should turn and leave,

But I don't like to be rude.

Let's be rude, lovey.

Well!

Gee, I didn't mean to hurt their feelings,

But there was no way of avoiding it.

Oh, don't worry about it, professor,

They'll forget it after we're rescued.

And look, we've got to worry about getting this capsule in the water.

We've only got a few more minutes of light left to do it.

I underestimated the size and the weight, too.

Skipper, help!

Skipper, help!

Skipper!

Get in there, professor!

Here. Stop.

Give me a hand!

Here.

I want to go! I want to go!

Now, thurston, you heard what the professor said.

Well, I don't care.

We should be on that space capsule

When it sails in the morning.

A howell is always first.

Who was the first passenger on the mayflower?

A howell.

Who was the first man to land on plymouth rock?

A howell.

Well, I don't know what we can do about it.

I'll tell you what we're gonna do.

We're gonna stow away on that capsule.

Stow away?

Shh, shh.

We'll wait till the others are asleep,

Then we'll tiptoe on board.

Oh, thurston darling, I'm so proud of you.

You're so sneaky!

We'd better hurry, my dear.

It's almost daybreak.

[Bird screeches]

Oh, thurston, this is such fun.

It reminds me of the time when we eloped.

Yes. That screeching bird does sound like your mother.

Tippy-toe.

Here we go.

Oh, I feel like a tight rope dancer.

All aboard.

Ah...

[Metal clattering]

I told you we'd get away with it.

I'm surprised the howells haven't thought of this.

They're not as smart as we are. Come on.

Thurston, someone's coming.

We've been found out.

Look, lovey, if we're caught,

Remember, all we have to give is our names

And our seat numbers on the stock exchange.

It's dark in here.

And you know i-i'm afraid in the dark.

There, there, dear, I'm here.

You know what I mean.

There you go.

Ho ho, lovey...

You think of everything.

Ginger, I think I hear somebody whispering.

Oh, stop imagining things and be quiet.

I'm trying to memorize my rescue speech.

[Mouthing silently]

Lovey, you're not wearing ginger's perfume, are you?

Of course not, thurston.

You know I never use anything but gold dust number .

Yeah, I know, but I'm allergic to ginger's perfume,

And all of a sudden, I feel like I'm going to sneeze.

Oh, no, darling, don't.

You'll give us away.

Mm-mm-ah-choo!

Gesundheit. Gesundheit.

Thank you.

I'm shocked at you girls!

Utterly, utterly shocked!

Aren't you ashamed,

Sneaking aboard this capsule like common stowaways?

What about you? You're stowing away, too!

But we're rich.

If you don't get off this capsule right away,

I'll report you to the captain.

Well, go right ahead. We'll report you, too.

Lovey, I'm afraid we've been outsneaked.

Mr. Howell: ka-choo!

Gesundheit. Gesundheit.

You can't find the unmanned scorpio ex- capsule?

Now, that's bad, admiral, bad.

That capsule is full of top secret instruments.

We can't risk the chance of having them fall

Into the hands of some unfriendly nation.

Well, I hate to do this, admiral,

But we can't wait any longer.

Call off the search.

Yes.

Now, at your time, hawaii,

We'll blow up the capsule by remote control.

Well, it's to : . You'd better get aboard.

This whole area will be swarming with navy search teams very soon.

I wonder why the howells and the girls didn't come down to see us off.

Oh, they're probably still pouting.

Come on, we can't wait for them any longer.

We gotta go. Let's make it snappy.

Good luck. Bon voyage.

Thank you, professor.

Get aboard.

It's all set to detonate in minutes, admiral.

There's a big enough charge aboard to destroy the capsule completely.

[Grunting]

[Skipper straining]

I can't move this thing. It's too heavy.

Well, jettison anything you can find aboard.

It's a good idea, professor.

Gilligan, we're gonna toss everything that isn't nailed down overboard.

Aye, aye.

Make it snappy.

Hi.

What are you doing-- shh, shh.

Well, hurry up, gilligan. Give me something else.

Money!

Where'd you get the money to throw over--

Mr. And mrs. Howell!

I didn't hear anyone call, all ashore that's going ashore.

No wonder this space capsule is so heavy.

Now, both of you, get off and on the double.

Well, if we have to get off, then they have to get off!

What do you mean they have to get--

They? They! They! They!

Ginger and mary ann!

Would you believe we came down to say good-bye?

Would you believe a going away present?

Would you believe I'm lying?

Do you realize what you could've done

By pulling such a crazy stunt?

Professor-- not now, gilligan.

You could've cost us all our chance to be rescued.

Yeah, but I thought if we could--

All right, all right.

Now, it's : . You still--

Professor, I really think you oughta know that--

Gilligan, will you be quiet?

The professor's trying to say something important, and you keep interrupting.

Now be quiet, will ya? Now as you were saying, professor?

You still have time to get aboard

And get into the currents if you and gilligan hurry.

All right, gilligan, what is it that was so important

That you kept interrupting for?

The capsule's floated off.

You nincompoop, why didn't you tell us sooner?

We could've all been on the capsule.

Ohh!

Aah!

You know, skipper,

That space capsule almost got us off the island.

Another seconds and we'd have been in orbit forever.

Yes. Well, we may not have been rescued,

But the important thing is that we're still alive, gilligan.

Yeah. But poor mr. Howell lost all that money in the lagoon.

Oh, money like that doesn't worry a rich man like mr. Howell.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

But we b*rned up all his brandy, too.

Oh, stop worrying about that.

Mr. Howell's stronger than you think.

He's probably taking it like a man.

♪ Now this is a tale of our castaways ♪

♪ They're here for a long, long time ♪

♪ They'll have to make the best of things ♪

♪ It's an uphill climb ♪

♪ The first mate and his skipper, too ♪

♪ Will do their very best ♪

♪ To make the others comfortable ♪

♪ In their tropic island nest ♪

♪ No phone ♪ ♪ no light ♪

♪ No motorcars, not a single luxury ♪

♪ Like robinson crusoe ♪

♪ It's primitive as can be ♪

♪ So join us here each week, my friends ♪

♪ You're sure to get a smile ♪

♪ From stranded castaways ♪

♪ Here on gilligan's isle ♪