02x04 - My Master, the Rainmaker

[bunniefuu]

Hello.

Oh, hi, Roge. How are you?

No, I'm afraid I can't today.

I promised Jeannie
I'd take her on a picnic.

It's raining?
Well, it can't be raining.

The weatherman forecast sunshine
today...

...and it's raining.

Well, Jeannie had her heart set
on this.

Yeah, I'll see you later.

Master, I was not sure whether
you preferred chicken or lamb...

...or beef or veal or goose...

- ... so we have them all.
- We have them all.

Yes, master.

I have a few little extra surprises.

I am ready.

Well, Jeannie, I'm afraid
I have a surprise for you too.

I am so excited about our picnic.

Master, you do not know
how I've been looking forward to it.

The last picnic I went on
was with Omar Khayyàm.

No kidding, really?

Oh, and believe me, master,
that was no picnic.

Why don't we have
our picnic in the living room?

- You could blink up a tent and-
- You said we would go to the beach.

Yes, I know I did, Jeannie,
but something's come up.

Or rather, something's coming down.

It's raining.

It's raining.

Don't worry. First nice day I have off,
we'll go on that picnic.

- Do you promise?
- Yeah, I promise.

Let us go, master.

That is the most amazing thing
I've ever seen.

- How do you change the weather?
- It is simple. I think " hot. "

You think " hot"?

It would be great
if we could control the weather.

Oh, well that is easy, master...

...but would you not get tired
of sunshine all the time?

Yeah, I suppose I would.

It used to get pretty cold
up in Wisconsin, where I was.

Do you enjoy the cold weather?

Yeah. I must say,
some of the happiest days of my life...

...were spent in the snow
and the cold in Wisconsin.

Like that, master?

Hey, that's wonderful, Jeannie.

Dr. Bellows-

- Hello, sir.
- Major Nelson.

I don't know quite how to tell you this,
but it's snowing on your house.

Oh, yes, I see.

It's probably one of those
freak summer storms we have here.

I could make myself understand
why it might snow in Florida, in July.

Yes. Well, it's the high-

But I can't make myself understand
why it's only snowing on your house.

The sun is shining
on the other houses.

Oh, yes, yes.

Well, now-
It just stopped snowing, sir.

Please come in.

Let me...

I'm dying to hear your explanation
of this, major.

So am I, sir. So am I.

I'm working on
some top-secret experiments.

Well, it's strange
that I wasn't advised of it.

I didn't know about it myself
until a few minutes ago.

Please, sit down. I didn't know it
would work until a few minutes ago.

It's a very simple procedure
of seeding the silver iodide particles...

...in a low-pressured barometric strata
with inverse isobars.

I would like you to show this
to General Peterson.

- I'm afraid I can't, sir.
- And why not?

It's not completed yet. Understand?

Understand? Major Nelson,
I haven't understood anything...

...since you arrived at this base,
but I will.

I am dedicating myself
to understanding you.

Do you understand?

- What'd you say?
- Nothing.

- Major Nelson.
- Yes.

If you think
that this is any laughing matter...

...you're very much mistaken.

But, sir, I-

I am not cracking up.
I am not cracking up.

I am not cracking up.

You were caught in a snowstorm
at Tony Nelson's house?

Yes, General Peterson.

In Florida, in July?

That's exactly what I said, sir.

But I tell you it was snowing.
I was there.

Now, what are you going to do
about it, general?

I'm gonna give you
the rest of the month off, doctor.

I want you to go away.

Away? I don't want to go away.

I just want you to ask Major Nelson...

...why it was snowing on his house
this morning.

All right, doctor. Come on.

- Hi.
- Oh, hi, Roge.

I hear you had a little snowstorm
over your place this morning.

Where'd you hear that from?

Dr. Bellows has been telling
everybody on the base.

He's carrying on like a madman.
Better be careful.

Major Healey is right, master.
I would not want to see you in trouble.

I'm not the one
that's getting me into trouble.

You're getting me in trouble.

- But you asked for snow.
- No, no, I didn't. All I said was-

Hello, general.

- I guess I better be running along.
- Stay right where you are.

- Can I talk to you for a minute, Tony?
- Of course.

- I didn't realize you had company.
- Neither did I. This is Mr. -

- Ali Habeeb.
- Mr. Habeeb is a rug salesman.

A weather expert.

He doesn't look it, but she-
He's really quite marvellous.

What equipment do you use?

- Mostly toads.
- They're the best.

When a toad croaks seven times
in the swamp when the moon is full...

...there's going to be a storm.

Can you make it rain or snow?

Rain, snow, thunder, you name it.

Of course I cannot make it
rain or snow.

What do you think I am,
a genie?

It's certainly nice seeing you, sir.
I hope you'll drop by-

Right, thank you. Thank you.
You've been most kind.

Tony, do you have any way
of changing the weather?

I mean, can you make it snow?

No, sir. I can't even make it smog.

That's what I thought. Doctor?

I know when I've been snowed on,
and I was snowed on this morning.

And you did it.

He snowed on me. Admit it.

If you say so, sir.

- I snowed on him.
- Did you hear that?

Yes, I heard it. I think
you better come along with me...

- ... and try not to excite yourself.
- I am not excited.

I tell you it was snowing.

It was only snowing
on Major Nelson's house.

All the other houses
were bathed in sunshine.

It was the strangest thing
I'd ever seen.

All the houses bathed in sunshine...

...and the snow falling
on Major Nelson's house.

Roge? Roge?

They gone yet?

I tell you...

You know, I'm gonna have to get rid
of Jeannie for a while...

...or I'm gonna have
a nervous breakdown.

Just ask her to go away for a while?

I've tried. Oh, I've tried.
I've tried everything.

I guess you're stuck then, huh?

Yeah, I guess so.
I've tried everything except-

I've tried everything
except psychology.

Wait a minute.

- I know how I'll get her to leave.
- How?

What does she love most in the world,
next to me?

- Me.
- No, no, her family.

Are you waiting for our picnic, master?

In just a minute, Jeannie.

Roger was just telling me
about his family, weren't you, Roge?

Oh, yeah, family.

About your mother and your father...

...and how you haven't seen them
in a year, and you miss them.

Haven't seen my mother and father
in a year, and I miss them.

Well, I haven't seen my mother
and father in one thousand, two...

Well, I would rather not say.

It must be hard on you, Jeannie,
not seeing them.

Oh, yes.

We've always been
a very close family.

I would love to see them.

Oh, I get it.
Bet you're going to trick her into-

Too bad you can't visit them,
at least for a little while.

I'm sure they'd enjoy it.

So would I.

And my little baby sister.

Your little baby sister? No kidding.
She must be grown by now.

I suppose so.

Master...

...would-? Would you mind...

...if I went back
for a visit with my family?

You're still the old master.

How long would you be gone,
Jeannie?

- A week.
- A week?

That's not very long. Why don't you
take two or maybe even three.

You are the most wonderful,
marvellous master in the whole world!

Look out.

Come in.

Excuse me, major. Sir.
I am Sergeant Ben Roberts.

- Can I talk to you a minute?
- Sure, come on in.

Well, I gotta be running along anyway.
Mother and father, clever.

What's on your mind?
You like a cup of coffee?

Would be nice.

I'm afraid this might sound foolish,
and I wouldn't even bother you-

No, no, go ahead.
Tell me what's on your mind.

Well, I was in Dr. Bellows' office
this morning.

I heard him tell me
that you could control the weather.

Sorry.

Well, now, you ought to know that
nobody can control the weather.

That's what I thought.
I'd have forgotten about it then...

...except that he was so positive
about it.

Yeah, well, I think maybe
you misunderstood him, sergeant.

- Anything else on your mind?
- Oh, no, sir.

I'm sorry again to bother you, major.
I hope you'll excuse me.

Yeah, that's all right.

It was just the only way
I could think of to save my brother.

To save your brother?

Well, yes, sir.

My brother and my sister-in-law...

...they got this farm
in Four Corners, Alabama.

It ain't much, but it's all they got
in the world.

Anyway, I got this letter
from my brother yesterday...

...saying how they're gonna lose
that farm.

There's been a terrible
drought down there all year.

Not a drop of water.

All his crops are drying up
and blowing away.

So when I heard Dr. Bellows
talk about you, I...

Excuse me again
for bothering you, sir.

Oh, that's all right, sergeant.
Here, here, this is-

Sorry.

That's too bad.

Well...

He was such a nice man.

Oh, yes. Yes, I know.

And his brother's gonna lose his farm
if we do not do something.

There's not really anything
we can do about it.

There's nothing we can do
without getting into trouble.

Now, you just go and visit
your mother and father...

...and be happy
and have a wonderful time.

- I will.
- Good.

Well, what was that for?

You will see, master.

Bye-bye.

Jeannie.

- Hey, Tony. How is it going?
- Great, great.

You're looking awful chipper
this morning.

Never felt better. I'll buy you coffee.

You know they got a new chick that
just moved in next door to our office?

I've been talking
about a flight like that.

- I've never seen you happier.
- I've never been happier.

- Want some coffee?
- I'd love one.

You haven't been this up
in a long time.

I had a good night's sleep.

I woke up refreshed, relaxed.
Look at that hand, steady as a rock.

Say, when is Jeannie coming back?

Sorry. Well, I don't know.

- I think she'll be back in a week.
- You heard from her?

No, not a word.

Morning, Major Nelson.

- Hello, sergeant.
- Morning, sir.

- Hey, corn.
- Thank you.

That's wild. Where'd you get that?

- That's the finest corn in Alabama, sir.
- Thank you.

No, you hang onto that, sir.

- Well, who's this for?
- It's for you, sir.

For me?
Well, thank you very much.

It's from my brother.
His family wanted you to know...

- ... how grateful they are.
- How grateful they are?

What did you do?

Yeah, that's a good question.
What did I do?

You don't have to pretend with me.

It started raining an hour
after I talked to you.

- Oh, that's what that blink was for.
- What blink?

- Nothing. It was just-
- You saved Four Corners.

They're all beholden to you.
You'll be hearing from them.

Sergeant, I had nothing to do with it.
Honestly, I-

Yes, sir, I understand.
It's just between us.

Thanks again, major.

- What this all about, anyway?
- I knew I couldn't trust that girl.

I knew it. I knew it just as well
as I am standing here.

Roger, that man has a brother.

His brother's farm was drying up
and blowing away.

- Jeannie made it rain on it.
- That's great.

She saved the poor guy's farm,
and you're not in any trouble.

You're right.
You're absolutely right.

- You know what that proves?
- What?

It proves that Jeannie can use
her power and not get me into trouble.

- Yeah?
- Excuse me, I have a delivery for you.

Bring it in, men.

- Well, what is it?
- Well, there's a lot more.

It's from Four Corners, Alabama.
Sign here, major.

- Yeah, thank you.
- Thank you, sir.

Well, how about that.

It's very nice, I must say.

Jeannie?

- It's good to see you, Dr. Bellows.
- Is it?

Good evening, Major Healey.

- Hello, Dr. Bellows.
- No, thanks. I can only stay a moment.

Forgive me for intruding like this.

It's all right. What can I do for you?

You could do a lot for me, major,
and one of these days, you will.

I had a very unpleasant afternoon
with General Peterson.

He can really be a bear,
can't he, sir?

He thinks I am out to get you,
Major Nelson.

- And are you, sir?
- No.

I don't wanna get you,
I just want to understand you.

Some men dedicate their lives
to science...

...some men dedicate their lives
to politics.

I am dedicating my life
to understanding you.

- Well, it's really very simple, sir.
- Don't bother, major.

You see,
I've been making a mistake.

I've never been able to pin you down,
but in the future, I will. I will.

Well, that's all I came to say.
Excuse me.

Awfully friendly of you to do that, sir.

I don't know how deeply
you're involved in this, Major Healey...

...but I warn you, be careful.

Be very careful.

- Good night, gentlemen.
- Good night, sir.

- Do me a favour, will you, Tony.
- What?

Snow on him.

- Major Nelson.
- Yes?

- Excuse me, but this is really urgent.
- What is it?

It's about Four Corners, sir,
or what's left of it.

- Yes?
- I asked you to make it rain there...

...and I appreciate your help.

But, major, this is- My brother said
the streets turned into rivers.

His farm is three feet under water.

- The barn floated away this morning.
- The barn floated away?

You gotta stop that rain, sir.

Sergeant, I'm doing the best I can.

One of the tools I use is out of town
at the moment.

We'll discuss this at a later date.

Just a moment, sergeant.
We'll discuss it right now.

It's really nothing
that would interest you, sir.

Interest me?

Why, it fascinates me, major.

From what I just heard, I gather that
Sergeant Roberts' brother has a farm.

He asked you to make some rain,
you did.

And now that you caused a flood,
he's asked you to stop it.

- Well, that's the gist-
- Would you say that was...

...an accurate summation, sergeant?
- Well...

Yes, sir, I guess I would.

Well, that's fine.
That's just what I wanted to hear.

I'll see you in my office
in minutes.

Yes, sir.

Do you remember I mentioned
pinning you down, major?

Well, that's what I had in mind,
a live witness.

I'll see you in my office
in minutes.

- I am back, master.
- Yes, I see.

Did you think about me?

- You might say that.
- I missed you, master.

I missed you too.

My father made you
this camel pouch...

...and my mother baked you this cake,
and my sister knitted you this sweater.

Oh, master, you were right.
She has grown up.

That's very kind of them, Jeannie.

You can thank them for me
when you see them this afternoon.

This afternoon?
Well, I am not going back.

Well, you might as well.

I have a feeling
I'm not going to be around...

- ... for the next couple of years.
- Has something happened, master?

Jeannie, why didn't you stop the rain
when you left?

Rain?

Four Corners.

I left the water running.

There's nothing left of the place.
It's a lake.

And General Peterson
is going to blame me.

But it is not your fault.

- I will tell him that he can't-
- Yeah.

I'm sorry, master.

Is there anything I can do?

It looks like Dr. Bellows
has finally caught me.

And this time he's got...

A witness.

You're saying that Tony Nelson rained
on a town called Four Corners?

He not only rained on it, general,
he flooded it out.

Doctor, I'm warning you,
this is the last time-

General, I've got him
right where I want him.

They're meeting us in my office.

Boy, when you make it rain,
you sure don't fool around, do you?

I'll try to figure out some way
to help your brother and his family.

I'd sure appreciate that, sir.

First, I gotta figure out a way
to help myself.

- Now, Major Nelson-
- I'll handle this.

Tony, Dr. Bellows
is under the impression...

...that you can control the weather.
Can you?

No, sir, I can't.

- Sergeant Roberts-
- I said I'll handle this.

Yes, general.

Roberts, do you have any proof
that Nelson can make it rain or snow?

Well, I haven't any proof. No, sir.

But it sure did come down
cats and dogs down in Alabama.

- And it was Major Nelson-
- Doctor!

- That's all, sergeant.
- Yes, sir.

Can you make it rain or snow?

No, general.

Yes, you can. Make it snow.

- Dr. Bellows, honestly-
- Try.

Snow.

Thank you, Tony. Doctor.

I'm sorry about all this, sir.
I'm sure it was all a coincidence.

Snow.

- Oh, hello, sergeant.
- Major Nelson.

My brother just phoned me...

...and nobody understands it,
but that lake that used to be his farm...

Yes, what's the matter now?

Well, it's filled with the biggest trout
you ever saw.

- Trout?
- And bass and catfish.

It's a fishermen's paradise.

My brother and all his friends
is renting out cabins to tourists...

- ... and getting rich.
- Well, that's wonderful.

I just wanted you to know, sir.

Sometimes I'd sure like to hear
how you do that, major.

Wait right there, sir.
I got a little surprise for you.

Okay.

Jeannie, that was a brilliant idea.

Well, if it makes you happy master,
it makes me happy.

Why do we not go fishing there
sometime?

- No, no, I'd rather not.
- But why?

Well, frankly, I just don't care
for fish much. Look out.

Just a little token
of my brother's appreciation.

Bring it in, boys.
Got a whole truckload outside.

Now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute. Fellas-

This is not exactly
what I had in mind.